Living alone is great, I think living alone but in close vicinity to friends is what makes the experience even better

@torimonet8402

Жыл бұрын

I don’t have any friends, but hopefully I’ll make some while living alone 😭

@madusutra2375

Жыл бұрын

I agree so much with this. Having your own space is great but it's also important that you have a support system.

@intreoo

11 ай бұрын

I agree. I feel like the main difference is that when living alone, you are in full control of everything you want and need; whether it be your own fridge or your friends. That's not the case when living with others. I love my friends and family, but sometimes, we all need that quiet breathing space.

@chelseathecreativeFox

9 ай бұрын

​@@intreooI don't love my friends anymore.

@OReily08080

13 күн бұрын

​@@madusutra2375Exactly, knowing you have support while also learning about yourself in solitude is my ideal living situation

There’s nothing inherently wrong with living alone, but I do think it’s interesting & notable that this trend has popped up during an imminent recession where it’s becoming increasingly more expensive and therefore unattainable for many to afford their own place.

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

I'm still gonna afford my own place regardless... despite rent increasing, I'm too far into freedom to go back to roommates

@otabreza9747

Жыл бұрын

@@Heyu7her3 yeah, but for some people that is not possible! i know many people (myself included) who can only dream of making enough money to afford to live alone

@Oceanlinx

Жыл бұрын

Yeah that is unfortunate. Personally I'll be moving out to live alone anyway cuz I need to escape this toxic house and I need some time to myself to recover.

@torimonet8402

Жыл бұрын

@@Oceanlinxthis is what I’m working towards. I’m just scared that when I do, I’ll be immediately placed in survivor mode

@jenn-707

Жыл бұрын

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

NOOOOO GUYS DO NOT GO TO BETTER HELP. Please find an independent therapist. Read the reviews. they're trying to monopolize therapy. At least try to find a more reputable therapy tech company if you're going to be exploited.

@imareallybigdeal

Жыл бұрын

Openpath is a nonprofit that might help some people so try them first if you’re looking fo affordable therapy

@kindred42

Жыл бұрын

@jadawhitman9278 YES YALL...sliding scale... based on your income as little as 30-35 dollars. Or you can just use your insurance.

@carrington2949

Жыл бұрын

⁠@@imareallybigdealIs the website under open path collective ? I am seeing a lot of variations pop up that may not be correct.

@otabreza9747

Жыл бұрын

i do wish creators would look into the things they are promoting

@CleverTailedVixen

Жыл бұрын

Agreed just saw a report about them

Living alone isn’t a scam. Being coerced into doing things you don’t wanna do, now that’s a scam 😭

@amethystdream8251

11 ай бұрын

This.

@OReily08080

13 күн бұрын

Exactly

@OReily08080

13 күн бұрын

I was suprised when I saw the title

I LOVE LIVING ALONE! It is not a scam. Getting my own space, peace. Nothing can compare! I love my space my apartment after having family and roommate for so long. I love love living alone. I can write so any things I love about. To hangout with friends and family but come home to peace and quite is amazing!

@tadiwa9297

Жыл бұрын

Agreed !

@marijapaskeviciute365

Жыл бұрын

YES

@Prestelle

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this! ❤

@euwofbw

Жыл бұрын

same i can't go back to living with roommate. I LOVE LIVING ALONE.

@OReily08080

13 күн бұрын

That part. I want to find a place of my own so badly. I can make plans if I feel lonely, but if I really want company, I'll just look for an animal companion

It’s a to each there own kind of thing. Living alone for me has honestly lived up the hype. But I also lived with a very large family and helicopter parents. Living alone has helped me thrive. It also has taught me to be more responsible and independent, really just helped me grow as a person because I got that space to be more introspective. But that’s just anecdotal, can definitely see why it isn’t for everyone.

@shamidkpzd

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, I had helicopter parents as well. Living alone for me was needed.

@Oceanlinx

Жыл бұрын

Amen! I come from a toxic household and have controlling family members too, living alone is necessary for my mental health and my personal growth.

I will say that for me, living alone saved my life. And no, I'm not wealthy, I lived and worked at home for three years after college and saved everything I made. I live in a tiny studio. But for my well being and for the headspace I need to be in to heal, grow and live, I choose to have my own place and plan to continue living alone until/unless I find a worthy partner.

@medea4751

Жыл бұрын

^^^^

@emma.l

Жыл бұрын

do you work from home in your studio? i work remotely and love the idea of having my own space but worried i'll go crazy doing everything in the same room all day

@transitionsnc

Жыл бұрын

Good for you.

@LY-wl3uf

Жыл бұрын

​@@emma.l I have a hybrid job currently so I go in office 3 times a week. I purposely switched to a hybrid job instead of remote when I moved out. But I think it would be do-able if you wanted to live alone and wfh; it just takes a healthy mindset and some discipline. I actually would prefer to live alone and wfh versus live with others and wfh, although I will admit that a hybrid job has been helpful for my transition to living alone.

@emma.l

Жыл бұрын

@@LY-wl3uf thank you :)

I'm 21 and live alone because I was kicked out of my house by my parents. I have major depression and no friends so I'm always alone at home, always struggling to get a job I can stay in. It's awful, I just want to hear anyone wake up too or do stuff... And yeah my house is super messy, I can barely cook, etc

@user-ux3vw6mb4k

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry honey. I hope you find your community soon.

@Nada-wr5zn

Жыл бұрын

I feel the struggles you feel and experience. But I think it is a great way for you to learn how to live alone in order to live with someone else. Keep going ❤ you got this :) I wish you best of luck and believe you will live the life you want to live one day❤

@TOBZ333

Жыл бұрын

That's why you should build social skills. Humans thrive for social connection and interaction. You need to reflect on yourself my friend because the world isn't going to hand you anything. Get your shit together and don't fall into self pity.

@milanesadearsenico

Жыл бұрын

@@TOBZ333 lmao how do you think saying any of that shit helps, really?

@TOBZ333

Жыл бұрын

@@milanesadearsenico you’re 21 not a child. Get a grip of reality and fix up. The world won’t help

I love living alone-just me and my pets. But I DEFINITELY hate buying groceries for just me. I grew up in a big family and noticed it was way easier cooking a meal for my entire family versus just me, weirdly enough. It's just been hard for me to get portion sizes right- I either make way too much or slightly too little. I've also noticed it's easier cooking for 2 versus 1, when my boyfriend comes over it's easier to get portion sizes right.

@SUMS1E

Жыл бұрын

me too ! i've learned freezing food is the best way to deal with this. I'll make a huge thing of rice and freeze it which will be the base of my meals for a week

@TheSmilezForever

Жыл бұрын

Just freeze the rest. Automatic meal planning

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

That's leftovers. My personal rule is I don't cook for more than one (me).

Better Help is a horrible company that can literally impact whether people live or die. And too many KZreadrs, yourself included, care more about securing a check than fundamental moral integrity.

@serenity6831

Жыл бұрын

You're very quick to write this creator off as a some money hungry grifter based off of ONE partner. Very rash and quite ridiculous.

@2nd3rd1st

Жыл бұрын

Source for your claim would be nice. I see these points made on many videos but nobody cares to verify their claims.

@NukeNukedEarth

Жыл бұрын

@@2nd3rd1st It's been months since it was uncovered, she's one of the only youtuber i've seen still accepting them. You can literally just write ''better help'' in your search bar and make your own opinion

@2nd3rd1st

Жыл бұрын

@@NukeNukedEarth Shouldnt be the job of the audience to verify their claims. If they got a bone to pick with the sponsor come out and prove it.

@DA-yy8rs

Жыл бұрын

@@2nd3rd1st It’s not a “claim” and this isn’t high school English Lit. If you want a source, find it yourself. Not my job to educate you on this issue which has already been discussed many times by many creators, even on this platform.

As much as living alone has been romanticised, it's not for everyone. People are leaning towards quiet living and alone time and often mask it or see it as wanting to live alone. In my case, when I say living alone, I imagine all the romanticised stuff and dreamy mornings and silent nights of chilling to easy music etc, but I CANNOT imagine coming home to NOTHING. I quite literally need people, despite my need for alone time like 40% of the waking day time.

@chelseathecreativeFox

9 ай бұрын

No, you only need yourself. You're an adult. You should learn to be more independent.

@damien678

6 ай бұрын

​@@chelseathecreativeFox We're a social species and live in a society where we literally rely on each other all the time. American Individualism is rotting your brain if you think you're truly independent and don't need anyone while relying on grocery stores.

During college I had to live with roommates and it was the worse period of my life. Personally, it was really uncomfortable for me to share the bathroom and the kitchen with others. Plus my roommates had different sleeping schedules from mine. I need my own private space...it's not lonely it's quite peaceful.

I moved out of my parents home at 23. I lived with roommates until I had high enough income and money to move to my own apartment at 28. It’s double the price but the best decision I made for myself. That being said if you are not someone who like being alone,it’s May not be for you and that is ok. I do have days where I feel lonely and I’ll go outside,explore solo or reach out to friends. As for the early 20s people, stay home if you can. Save up money and pay down debt. That way you can buy something.

I do think everyone should experience living alone before cohabiting (if that does end up happening in your life). I personally didn’t enjoy it much which is odd because I love my space but living with three other girls my last two years in college was the best! But, living alone is just another phase of your life where it’s all about self-growth and maturity. I think it’s a nice experience. 😊

i definitely think it takes a certain level of maturity to live alone. I was alone a lot as a teenager and i think my insecurities manifested many fears while I was alone. Fear of ghosts and people breaking in distracted me from enjoying. Now as an adult and mature person I think I would enjoy living alone as I wouldn't give into those narratives as easily. I also have friends that live alone and their insecurities lead them to going on and drinking a lot, because they don't want to be alone at home, especially at night. Therefore, I do think it takes a certain level of maturity.

@franfrankie7

Жыл бұрын

the thing is, those worries are very much valid. Especially if you live in a large city and are a woman, lgbtq, poc, etc..

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

That's loneliness vs being alone

@TigrisAquino

Жыл бұрын

@@franfrankie7 true!! Although I still think there’s a difference between awareness and paranoia and I guess that’s more of what I was talking about

@TigrisAquino

Жыл бұрын

@@Heyu7her3 right! And I think it’s takes a level of maturity to be able to be alone without getting too lonely. Obviously some loneliness is inevitable but it’s more about how you handle it

@farquharsonmakeena3765

Жыл бұрын

definitely not for the weak

I love this video, you seem really sweet, well researched and genuinely a creator I would love to continue to watch. With that said however, I’m sick of creators taking money from better help who exploit vulnerable people. I understand creators need sponsorships to make KZread financially viable but can someone please cancel better help? It’s sickening.

It's crazy how much more expensive per unit it is buying groceries for a single person household vs a family. I lived alone for 2 years and my groceries were so high and now I'm back with my family and the amount paid per item/meal as well as food waste (because some things can only be bought in bulk and I can only eat so much as one person lol) has almost halved. Idk why they make living alone seem like you're saving money for more "fun" stuff like skincare, clothes and trips because I was at a financial loss most months. I can afford more when I live with others. Today's income rates CANNOT allow most people to live alone.

I lived alone for about six months before I could no longer sustain it both monetarily and emotionally. I liked having my private space where i could truly be alone when j wanted, but because other people my age also have to prioritize making money to survive, they dont have time or energy to build a community. I think had i been paid more at my job, had more friends, and maybe a therapist for extra support, I would've been fine living on my own. Because i honestly loved it so much.

As someone who is living alone I’d say it’s not a scam. The price of a studio is. But considering the peace of mind one gets, I believe it’s worth it. Also as an introvert it’s pushed me in the best way to reach out more to friends and family ❤️ Also I highly recommend getting a pet!

this !! living alone has almost become its own aesthetic where the wealthy can record the mundanity of their life presenting their habits and day-to-day routine as "aspirational" and "relatable," which it is to a degree, but that lifestyle cannot be replicated by the 20 somethings working class. living alone may not be a scam but it is a daily reminder of class divisions and part of the content that continues to eulogize money as the pinnacle of a comfortable life.

@TOBZ333

Жыл бұрын

Living alone is a scam. The goal is to build a good family with a respectful partner not live and die alone with Material things and little to no interaction

@SUMS1E

Жыл бұрын

@@TOBZ333 i agree that we're social beings with a need for a community but not everyone's end goal is building a family or even having a partner. there are plenty of ace and aro people that aren't looking for a life partner and i know many people who aren't wanting to bring children into this hypercapitalist world bc it's unsustainable

@prafonity

Жыл бұрын

@@SUMS1Esame

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

I'm not anywhere close to wealthy and I live alone. *The choice/ option to live how one wants to live as long as it isn't harmful is the goal* ...not family vs alone.

@weird-guy

Жыл бұрын

In my country in the city I live is still possible to live alone of minimum wage but is only in a studio and you won’t have any disposable income at the end of the month, that one of the reasons why I still live at home I can save half of my money while if I rented I would spend like 60% or more in housing,water,gas,electricity,telecommunications

Hey this video is so relatable! I’m a 26 yo man living alone. I always looked forward to having my own place, because roommates can be aggravating. But now that I’m working from home & living alone, I’m having a hard time! Sometimes I don’t even feel like person with such little social interaction from day to day. It’s really nice having so much freedom though.

For me, living alone is the ONLY option. I'm autistic with CPTSD and I've only been able to live with others for about a year before I get completely burnt out from all the labour of processing their presence. ALTHOUGH! I do agree with the productivity thing. It was helpful to create a perceived pressure to be productive, but that pressure also contributed to burn out, so it's a balance. Another great video, thank you for your work! (Also, I won't be replying to any questions, I'm just sharing my perspective, not looking to engage in an on-going discussion - bc autistic)

@nerdywolverine8640

Жыл бұрын

@Asbestoslover666

Жыл бұрын

autistic too, and yeah, roommates or family, no matter how lovely and kind (although that is rare) are a sensory nightmare and very draining. once i graduated, I lived alone and put an absurd chunk of my minimum wage towards my rent so i could live alone. Live with my partner now, and because we are constantly checking in about eachothers needs/love eachother and have so much fun, they are the only person I could tolerate/ actually enjoy living with.

I recently moved back in with my family after living alone for some time, and I like both. Living alone is great and I believe everyone should experience it at one point in their life; I love my family and hang out with them constantly either way, but (for me) there’s a certain level of emotional labor that comes with coming home from work and seeing people already in the house vs just being able to come in and flop on the couch and sit in the absolute quiet of your home for a moment.

thanks for this discussion starter, living alone is something i think about almost daily. i've lived with my dad since graduating college and i've honestly enjoyed it. my mom died when i was in college, my brothers and close friends all moved out of state, so we have each other for company. but i do feel the pressure of being a "real adult" and getting my own place. whenever he's out of town and i am in the house by myself i really end up enjoying the time and embracing my introvert homebody so i know i can do it but the reality of the possibility intimidates me. it's nice having a mature person right under the same roof for advice- financial, professional, whatever. i also think because i have a great relationship with my dad i just want to treasure any time i have with him after my mom. knowing i'll mainly be the one to clean out and sell the house when he's gone scares me and a part of me is just living in denial of that inevitability.

Seriously the bane of my existence lately has been trying to efficiently grocery shop as someone who lives alone without a car and also deals with a very complicated relationship with food. I know I need food as fuel, I generally enjoy cooking, and can appreciate a wide variety of foods. But the majority of the time I simply lack the motivation to go through the process of planning something I want to eat, getting the groceries, doing the cooking and cleanup, and then being stuck eating leftovers of the same meal for days on end just to use the groceries before they go bad. So instead I end up avoiding eating until I absolutely can't stand it and then wind up ordering delivery because it's quick and easy. Then comes the guilt and shame around my food and money choices and I just get stuck in the cycle. I would LOVE if there were more fresh food options sold in smaller portions so I can feel good about what I'm eating without having to feel bad about the inevitable food waste that comes with current portions available.

@meghansullivan6812

Жыл бұрын

Yooooo same. I love hellofresh for this reason tho

I agree that living alone is a new opportunity for community outside family circle but damn is it challenging. It is an all around challenge to social skills, organization, etc etc. If you're just breaking off from your family's house for any reason, difficulty can snowball really fast. It's really crucial to have social skills and possibly an already existing support system, and developing connections and community as you go

i'm poor as hell and I love living alone. it absolutely sucks sometimes because it is lonely but i would take that any day over living with roommates. i love being the sole decision maker of my household and i love not having to answer to family

I never thought about how produce and other perishable items aren’t really sold for an individual. It also seems like prepackaged items that come in smaller quantities don’t have a proportional decrease in cost, so why would an individual have to (or want to) pay more to have less?

@emericcson123

Жыл бұрын

From what I've seen, companies make more profit selling in bulk with some discounts to make people feel like they're saving because the money brought in is higher per transaction (if that makes sense). Like, they'd rather have $50 for selling more at a lower rate at once than $5 here and there.

@nikichats

Жыл бұрын

@@emericcson123 ohh gotcha, that makes sense!

I Love living alone! It’s so relaxing and calm. My home is my oasis. Which is important when you live in a city. I have friends I visit and invite over. Family etc. I’ve lived with roommates and I don’t miss cleaning up after them or listening to them with their boyfriends. Family would be different but since I don’t want kids. Only thing I’d be doing is moving back in with my Mom if my step Dad passed away.

6 TBSP boxed cake mix 4 TBSP water 2 tsp oil (i like coconut personally) nuke about 1min 15sec or so works great if you dont wanna make a mug cake from scratch (easy to do also). use a big mug and give it a squirt of your preferred nonstick spray. this has been a public service announcement for solo living humans

@bigblue4579

9 ай бұрын

Omg thank you!!!

I am watching this as I am packing my apartment after living alone since 21 now somewhere between young adult and adult, moving in with my boyfriend of three years. It’s adding a certain sense of poetry to my pending transition. Finally, some divine timing. Thank you for the salute 💖

Oh no, not the betterhelp sponsorship on another one of my fav KZreadrs. Get your coin girl but I highly recommend everyone do their research on better help. Did we learn nothing from the phillip defranco better help saga?

The only people who think living alone is a scam, have never had nightmare roommates lol. Never again if i can help it!

I love living alone! It’s the single best decision I’ve ever made in my life. I never knew I was in the minority for feeling this way

Girl not the betterhelp sponsorship 😢😢😢

I’ve been living alone for the past 5 years and it’s been even better than I imagined lol. Reallyyyyyy enjoy my own company and it’s kinda hard to do with people constantly walking in and out. Whenever I want to interact with people I just go visit friends, invite people over, or just go out.

37 years old and I can only live alone. I have spend enough years having roommates, and then living boyfriends and I can’t do it. It causes me far to much stress, even pulled me into a deep dark depression. I will romanticize living alone until pigs fly! It has been the BEST thing for my mental health and has been the best self care I could have ever provided myself! Not saying it works for everyone but I’m old enough to know what does and does not work for me! ❤

@co_7523

6 ай бұрын

Same! Living with people made my mental health issues worse!

Very thoughtful and well researched video... I personally feel like I'm going insane if I am at home alone for more than a day or two without my wife, and when people say "im so glad I dont live with my partner" I'm like HOW... Some people are more equipped for a solo lifestyle emotionally, but I think it being an aspirational goal for all young people is just not it, because any monolithic goal like that will eventually lead to people who are better suited for communal living with friends/ a partner to be left high and dry from the lack of social contact.

I thrive living alone. I'm able to cook, clean, make plans, and go out more often. In fact, I feel more lonely living with others. It's insane.

@co_7523

6 ай бұрын

Me too!

I lived in an abusive household where I had no privacy or say in how I wanted to live. I left at 17 (now 27) and have mostly been living alone since 2018. Yes it is expensive and I can only afford a studio (I work seven days a week and I can barely afford it) but I love that I have mostly complete freedom and my own space. I lived with a roommate for two years and it was literally traumatizing. Because of my cptsd living alone is the best option for me even. I’d love to be able to split rent with someone but honestly it seems so unrealistic.

When you're in your 20s, you want to stop being around others all the time (either because it's emotionally triggering or you have a fear of triggering others) so you opt into living alone and shy away from roommates. But while it has been hard for me, it's been good to learn how to hold myself accountable to others and find influence from how others live their lives, esp. if your parents weren't the best role models. If you do not have the skills to emotionally self-regulate or to cook, clean, and organize, all by yourself, I recommend having roommates (and choosing them consciously based on what you'd like to learn).

I’ve been living alone for about a year and a half and am currently 27. I think right now was the best time for that to happen as I’m most able mentally to handle it. My issue is I also mainly work from home and am far from my friends so I am now planning to live with a flatmate. If I could have social interaction easily and live alone in a nice area I would but that’s not affordable. Not having any interaction for weeks at a time can take a toll even when you feel stable and relatively happy overall. It’s all about balance at the end of the day. But living alone has also been very freeing and enjoyable despite the challenges

Thank you for mentioning the social infrastructure. That’s key for a solitary lifestyle. Being on the spectrum and nomad, I have never felt the “isolation terrors” that many propagandists state to perpetuate old paradigms. It’s allowed me to have great introspection and better myself and now have a plethora of new friends along the way. While their are moments, it’s usually when I’m busy around those who are, for lack of a better phrase, going with the flow of things. I’m glad discussions are finally being had in what this new normal looks like and start creating spaces for everyone to thrive. _but can we start with the government to stop penalizing us for being unwed and unchiled_

The truth is most people can’t control whether they live alone or not and you should always make the most of your circumstances. You can be happy regardless of who you do or don’t live with. It doesn’t determine your happiness

the majority of the comments are saying that it is freeing to live alone and im not gonna lie it actually is because you really dont have to answer to anyone but yourself. the only thing i would say is ive been livin alone for a year and a half and it if you do decide to live alone make sure you have freinds or someone you can talk to because being alone can take a toll on your mentally if you dont really speak or have social interactions like that..im not really social i wouldnt really take back my independence because i had to move out due to how toxic it was at home im now 25..just lost a job and looking for a new one...i really dont have anyone to cry and wine to about it just gotta keep pushing because im a female and it really isnt an option for me to be homeless or live outside my car. Although, it would be nice to share the burden with someone most people in my area my age dont live alone and if they do they are a male, and mostly females are with kids...but this comment helped me feel like it rlly wasn't just me feeling the alone part..what i can say im going to church to do fellowship, hopefully i make some freinds

I vividly remember my dad insisting that I needed to live alone before even considering moving in with someone (aka, a significant other) and he was being so stubborn and bull-headed about it when I'm literally a Type 1 diabetic who needs someone to ensure my low blood sugars don't kill me in the middle of the night. When people tout the individuality and life experience you garner from living alone, they often only speak for able-bodied folk, unfortunately. Even my own father didn't take my disability into account.

@brittneyharmon6647

Жыл бұрын

You can hire an at home nurse during the night

@sydney9011

Жыл бұрын

@brittneyharmon6647 insulin is already expensive,, I aint got income for that lmao

@Socialling

Жыл бұрын

i'm sure all type 1's aren't the same and i dont assume to know your story but there are type 1's who are able to live alone. It is ok that you dont wish to or dont believe it is the best option for you but disability does not always equal dependence on others- unless your doctor expressed you need a full time caregiver ofc.

@ThreeLittleBirdsssss

Жыл бұрын

@@Sociallingexactly

@sydney9011

Жыл бұрын

@Socialling when did I ever say we are all the same 😐 I'm talking about my case specifically here, but even if I wasn't, it's still worth it to mention how people with disability aren't often factored into conversations about living alone. There is an expectation that living alone is a symbol of individuality and strength and if you don't live alone, you're ascribed with "weakness" for it. I'm saying that there's strength in disabled people's argument. It's not weak for us to go on without having lived alone because some of us require support systems.

I lived alone for the past year and the biggest con is if you don’t have immediate access to community/struggle with social anxiety it’s easy to slip into isolative tendencies (which were so comfy to do so after the pandemic!) but of course it’s so luxurious to have complete control over your space. i honestly miss talking to myself and walking around with no clothes on the most lol. but don’t feel drawn back to it because learning to cohabitate with people builds community connection and is better for my mental health, personally.

i’m looking at places so that i can live alone soon because i think a person like me would really benefit from it. i grew up with a very big family and oftentimes we all lived in the same house (one of those times being now) and while i love my family, i really just need the peace of mind. there have been so many times where i come home and something i had in a specific spot was moved or something was taken from me and i’ve even had money stolen multiple times. plus i feel like im responsible for way more than i should be right now. and on top of that i get tired of the constant yelling when something isn’t cleaned or something isn’t done right or the interrogations i get when i leave the house to go with friends or about the clothes i wear. not to mention it’s loud 24/7 and that’s honestly not even where it ends. living alone would benefit me greatly.

Libraries and parks don’t promote socializing. Schools, religious organizations, leagues, etc. promote socializing. Maybe a library if they have a book club. But no one randomly speaks to each other in random spaces and if they do it’s most likely awkward lol

Love your vlog. You're so eloquent! I'm going to binge.

I moved in with my mom and brother for grad school and even though we all got along fine, I LOVE and crave having my own space. So, I moved out into an apartment alone before finishing grad school. I definitely want to marry someday, but if I don't I'd rather be alone than have a roommate.

I have been living alone for ten months now and im so LONELY. i HATE it. Im bad enough at socializing, the people here aren't very friendly. And im an extrovert baby who needs people around meband a great support system to feel loved, nourished and protected. But ever since my parents basically THREW me out of their houses, i have been a confused, alienated, lost little soul.

@phljawn

Жыл бұрын

Why did your parents kick you out? That's a crazy switch up.

@user-pm9pw6cj4c

Жыл бұрын

@@phljawn Not kick out kick out. but my dad married someone who didn't want to see me, so he no longer invited me to his house. and my mother just wants to me to be "independent" and leave her house, so she doesn't have to worry about me anymore. when i stayed with her she tormented me so i had to leave

@ChelseaPariella

8 ай бұрын

You need to learn to love yourself instead of craving friendships like a little kid a lot.

@user-pm9pw6cj4c

8 ай бұрын

@@ChelseaPariella nothing wrong with wanting connections and company. Humans are social beings and being extremely introverted is not normal

@ChelseaPariella

8 ай бұрын

@@user-pm9pw6cj4c Well, you don't have a choice but to be an introvert because people are too angry and miserable to have fun with others or that people threaten to end their friendship with those who aren't trying to do anything bad. Yeah, no thanks. I'm better off alone.

I’ve lived alone since I was 25 years old. I’m now almost 46. I love it. I didn’t realize this has become a trend bc I guess I’m old. Lol. It’s a vibe.

I love your videos, I wish they where a bit longer though I enjoy your narration a-lot🥺

Please don't take betterhelp sponsorships :(

It is interesting that you’ve always aspired to live alone. I am one of seven siblings and I’m relied on in the household. After Uni, I thought I’d move out and have housemates, I never thought I’d live alone. I’ve always liked the idea that housemates are like built in friends and you wouldn’t necessarily feel alone. Now that I’m one year into my first corporate job, I still haven’t bit the bullet to live alone or move out. My biggest fear is actually loneliness. What if my housemates don’t speak to me? What if living alone makes me feel isolated? Living at home has its challenges, but I’m paying ridiculously low rent. I’m around the people I grew up with. If I wanted to have a spontaneous chat with my sister, I can walk into her room and speak to her. With housemates there are more boundaries and with living alone there would literally be no one. I’ll stop my ramblings here but thanks again for a great video. ❤

Nooooo girl betterhelp!? Fr? 😭 You were supposed to save the force, not destroy it!

I have lived w/ some 1 all my life. I’m 36. The way my living situation is set up, I have a single room on the property. I never see my landlord or any one else on the property. I do have 2 jobs so I’m never home. But I love this set up. I don’t wanna live like this for ever but for right now, it’s great.

Honestly, it depends how you socialize with people, I find it easier to living with someone. It helped me grow a lot, you learn small things and get some good ideas that you'll want to apply to your own place on day. You learn more about your own and others boundaries (I always have to have my own bathroom, everything else I'm cool with sharing.) I travel for work, so renting out a place for myself is both expensive and not really beneficial. Also live with an extrovert, theyre always gone from the place. I get a lot out of meeting new people, it helps with social skills, especially the skill of actually ending that conversation (wait for a pause and announce "well, see ya later"). I know I can afford to live alone one day, but it'll be short and I'll be renting rooms to travel medical professionals just to have someone else help with the mortgage. 😂 Travelers move different and are barely home, they're either out or at work.

i just found your channel. i'm subscribing because i really enjoy the way you speak, engaging and calming at the same time. glad to have found you!

i’m 21 living alone in a studio while attending college and i have mixed feeling there are time where i have the best days of my life with myself then there are times when i feel really lonely and give me really bad anxiety but for the most part i think i can fine and try to be productive and relax at the same time

@raiha1425

Жыл бұрын

I’m considering doing this. Would you recommend it?

Thanks for the nice video. I just wanted to mention that I felt the music was a bit too high/too lound as it was pretty distracting

I'm 30 and don't make enough to live alone. I work 40 hours a week and live in Connecticut. I deserve at least a one bedroom with clean water, heat, even air conditioner because it gets hot, and to live in a safe area. And I'll say my version of safe right now is to live in a suburban area that does have homeless people and beggars around, so the bar isn't that high. I'm a person, I do my job, I'm expected to be an adult, deal with the pain of the world like anyone else is. We deserve some dignity to help our mental health. I'm not rich, but no one who works hard and who deals with life quite well despite how bad it can get should be living in poverty. I see myself as the pay check to pay check middle class due to where I live with my family.

As someone who never had a sense of safety in the household I grew up in, living with other people, even though I liked my roommates, constantly triggered me. The first time I really felt safe was when I moved into my first apartment, and even though I sometimes feel lonely and miss having people around me where I live, I know it was the right decision for me (it also havily depends on how affordable the country/city/area is of course, I live in the east of germany where housing prises are still kind of affordable).

Imma be 100 with u living alone is cool sometimes it has its pros but nobody wants to be alone like that constantly its depressing and gets lonely im not talking about a roommate but to be with someone to have someone there, talking in terms of a relationship i definitely want one cuz this alone crap gets old and depressing 😢

You are adorable. Your description of Living Alone videid was so spot on 😂 but I'm such a sucker for it. I *loved* living alone my senior year in a campus apartment, but because it was on campus, I had people over pretty often

I don’t currently live alone but I have in the past for about 5 years. Living alone is so nice and peaceful. I think it’s actually my preference. I think the ideal scenario would be living alone and having social support/friends so you get the best of two worlds. I think everyone should live alone at some point in their single lives if they want to or can afford to. But yes it can be inconvenient at times when it comes to grocery shopping or having a second person around for various things!

I don't think its aspirational, just sharing how things are or just us introverts living it up finally able to be alone with our thoughts. I'm an illustrator, gardener, ect and i have no problem going months with out talking to anyone.

15:10 also in a lot of cities the only way to have your own place is the have a roommate or something. A lot of landlords know people move in with their partners so in a lot of areas studios and 1 beds are extremely expensive because it’s expected you’re not paying the full thing

I love living alone so much! As much as a hassle it can feel at times, it’s so lovely to have a space where I don’t feel judged. …honestly I don’t want to go back to living with family or roommates

As much as paying for EVERYTHING and having to do EVERY SINGLE household task by myself SUCKS, I could not imagine living with anyone at this point! I've been living alone for 8 and a half years now and it's truly the greatest thing. I love being able to do WHATEVER I want WHENEVER I want at ALL times!

Tbh I have lived with family for my whole life and I have experience living alone (sort of) for very short period of time. It’s nice but I find that I miss having someone in the house at all times that’s not just an animal… it feels really odd to me. I need to hear someone else cleaning or talking or moving around stuff lol I prefer living with at least one other person. I’m use it but not against it if I HAVE to live alone at some point. Just find it unnecessary in my current case. May also have to do with culture? (I’m Hispanic)

Some people live in single person households because they have no choice. For example as a disabled person should I fall in love I cannot get married without my benefits being in jeopardy. Every year I have to report who is in my household and how much ( should someone move in) they make and what they contribute to various agencies like social security and the department of human resources.

@weird-guy

Жыл бұрын

Are you from the USA? Just don’t report who is living with you.

Betterhelp is not a good mental health resource :(

I feel that a corporation selling the virtues of isolation only to turn a profit or actively remove social resources is a scam. The KZreadr Andrewism made a great video talking about a library economy. Great video. I would definitely watch a follow-up because there is much to unpack.

@birdiewolf3497

Жыл бұрын

Right. Like we are extremely disconnected from each other and that is not a good thing. I understand the appeal of living alone. Because a large part of the issue is the options you have when living with other people. For a lot of people it's living with your parents, which isn't ideal for a lot of people because it doesn't give them the type of freedom and independence. Living with a stranger, which is a hit or miss.Then there is living with you SO, that is fine, but you'd need to have an SO to start. So when you put them up against living alone, it is the best out of all of those options. So I can see where the scam lies because for the vast majority of people, their goal is to find a long term partner to live with and share a household with. That's someone not seen as the same type of infringement on one's privacy or autonomy or whatnot. But it's like why do we limit that to romantic partnerships? Why don't we build platonic connections in a similar fashion? Like it is so much easier to have someone there to help share the burdens of a household. Like we aren't solely compatible with living with our SO and having a good time with that. Yet, that's the only way we know how to organize a household.

@onionioni5767

Жыл бұрын

​@birdiewolf3497 i love everything you said.

@DTZinatbakhsh

Жыл бұрын

@@birdiewolf3497 yea, cultivating a community can also go past your personal living space. Going outside involves a lot of cash, but sometimes spending cash on your local haunts when you got it can be a valuable way to gain social capital. This is one of many ways to extend the home past the normal architectural confines.

I absolutely agree on the productivity part while leaving alone and media consumption too!

For folks who want to steer clear of betterhelp (for good reason) and need cheap therapy options, try looking into if any therapists in your area are grad students! They normally offer reduced prices since they're getting hours for their psychology PhD- the one I used to go to was only $15 an hour for in-person sessions. Also, there's a service where I live (and I believe they have other locations) called Acacia Wellness. They specifically make accessible therapy, particularly for college-aged folks, their mission. Tbh if you live near a college you may be able to find a variety of affordable therapy options either through the grad student route or therapists who offer a sliding scale since many of their clients are students. Do not let the false promises of betterhelp lure you out of getting confidentiality or quality care

Living alone seems like an unhealthy ideal that prevents/stunts the development of a person. When you choose to live alone you miss out on the interpersonal skills necessary to be a good roommate but also the building blocks for everything else in life such as a successful career, a thriving relationship a family etc. Boundary setting and respecting, control of emotions, healthy communication and conflict resolution are some of the things i can think of that you miss out on when not having roommates.

Personal services are only available to middle and higher classes meanwhile being unavailable to the very people who perform the services...

I had to move out and live alone, and the cheapest studio was 900$ I was scrounging for rent every month as a person with a full time job paying 50k, and because of that job I couldn’t qualify for the lowest rent in the area (700$) but I still could barely afford food for me and my cat. Living alone sucks monetarily, it’s almost impossible in so many areas. Aesthetically it was great to have my own place, but it’s just too much stress

@ChelseaPariella

8 ай бұрын

I'm really sorry to hear that. How are you doing now?

Omg that quote about services sold to wealthier people is so real. I want to be a teacher but I've only been able to land part-time Zoom jobs so far that teach students of wealthy families outside of school, and more often than not, the services are shit cuz they pay their employees so little, put little to no thought or care into the program, but charge so much to the parents and do the bare minimum to make it seem worth their money. It's been so frustrating to experience from the backend.

What do you use to edit your videos? I want to get into content creation but I don’t really know where to start

Its not for everyone, but if you do live alone, in a walkable city or neighborhood near friends it can be pretty nice. Here’s the thing, living alone is way too expensive for most people now bc clearly the cost of living isn’t going down anytime soon. If only wages could keep up 💀💀💀

I think people can live alone will still having loved ones around frequently. I for one love inviting people over and am more than willing to let them sleep over; however, in the end of the day, it's my space. I've had so much bad luck with roommates and family members disrespecting me and my space.

@heckleyeah399

Жыл бұрын

that being said, I think it's helpful to live with others for a short time to learn how to cooperate with others, especially for those that never did chores as kids.

Really well written Amanda! I love this video

Since you live in NYC, I wonder if you've noticed the rise in studio apartments and the decrease in family apartment units. In fact renters don't want to rent to families. I literally saw an ad that specified that it wanted a young artistic tenant.

This is my "Third Space" and I'm here for the living alone segment. Thanks roomie!

25 and I lived alone for about 4 years. The being alone was great but the bills bruh 💀💀I had to move back in to my mom’s first house

i just started living alone this past month because of school and my parents don’t live in town. it’s been a wild experience

Hey Amanda! Just commenting on your video because I've been watching your videos since 2021 along with Madisyn Brown's as well. I'm still newish to NYC after moving here post-college last summer, but I'm still struggling to make new friends. If you're ever looking to make a new friend, please let me know!

This video is a great analysis! I like how you pointed out the connection to capitalism and how it is not possible for all your needs to get met, ie food, social connection when you live alone. I would love to hear some analysis on living with friends and other types of living outside the nuclear family. This video made me think of some of my favourite books: Radical Intimacy by Sophie K. Rosa about how capitalism invades our intimate lives and Family Abolition by M.E. O'Brien!

Brilliant work as usual. I loved living alone for the period I did. I recently had to move back in with my parents (in my 30s) to pay off debt and save quicker and it has actually been nice being around them again and making these new adulthood memories with them. Community of some sort is very important for mental health, but still make space for self-reflection, self-love, and personal growth. Capitalism is so entangled into the fabric of society that it becomes easy to criticize and judge people who are not ready or able to strike out on their own yet. Don’t allow capitalism to trick you into thinking you’re defective or unworthy because you’re not completely independent-could we ever truly be anyway and still survive?

I've been considering this question. I've been living on my own and I'm considering moving in with my boyfriend. I love living alone, but perhaps I'm being anti-social? I don't get out much besides spending time with my family. Things to consider....

I've lived alone for almost 5 years now, first in a 1-bedroom, currently in a small studio. The whole experience managed to get me back on the "no living together before marriage" train of thought - I'm not giving up my independence for anything less than legal next of kin. The cat keeps me sane in the meantime.

I’ve been living alone for six months and am totally in love with it, but it does require a lot of financial privilege because it’s so much more expensive. I don’t get lonely, but I also have a kitty and my friends all live pretty close by. I’ve had more room for personal growth living alone than I ever had living with other people. It’s peaceful, and allows me to build a better relationship between myself and productivity/tasks/etc. I know lots of people struggle with the loneliness, but space is so sacred to me that I really revel in having it be totally self-cultivated

I always wanted to live alone and to be by myself. Now I'm alone in a single-person room in my dream country, Japan and I haven't felt this pathetic and lonely in my whole life. I can't socialize with Japanese people bc most of them aren't really interested or the language barrier is too much. I always travel by myself, get drunk by myself, go on walks by myself and it feels so alienating and not empowering at all

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

Have you looked into the local expat community?

@weird-guy

Жыл бұрын

There no local place with a lot of people from you country, for example I’m Portuguese and stockwell,london is know as little Portugal because is a neighborhood filled with Portuguese people

I've had every stereotypical bad roommate situation under the sun. I've decided to pay out my ass for my 1 bedroom

Thank you for the video, I still want to live alone, as that was my aspirations for many years, but rent was growing faster than my salary, I want it to be a base for understanding myself and working with my habits, and just developing my survival skills. I really want better infrastructure though

Awesome work on showing us the relationship of independence and market consumerism, the way there is a market solution to problems caused by lack of community and social infrastructure. The way relationships between the person and a simple task has become a prime market for companies to seek their teeth into. I never thought about the perfect capitalist customer having to buy everything single thing in their life because they lack the social safety nets that would provide that. And all coming from the question about living alone. Amazing work.

just showed up. definitely interested!

@cleigh3796

Жыл бұрын

she's trying to shill a shady therapy app. Don't get too excited.

@ClaireCraig

Жыл бұрын

@@cleigh3796 I see a lot of people saying this but tbh I don't understand what the issue is? I've been using betterhelp for six months and my therapist is great and my life has improved immeasurably. Given that Amanda uses it too it sounds like she has a good therapist as well? I will say though I had a shitty therapist on there a year ago and quit after one month and it left a sour taste in my mouth. But I can't afford in person therapy so the $60/session is the best deal I can find. I've definitely heard mixed reviews from people in real life, it ultimately depends on who your therapist is