Is it Because of Me? [Healing From Betrayal Trauma]

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Пікірлер: 220

  • @wildhorses6817
    @wildhorses68173 ай бұрын

    I forgave and he BETRAYED me again in multiple ways. I continue to suffer from the financial deciet, theft, lies. I am older , cannot work and lost so much. I regret forgiving a DEMON. I do not recommend ever forgiving these Sick psychopaths. They enjoy your suffering and do everything to cause you suffering and despair. EVIL. Protect yourselves

  • @l.5832

    @l.5832

    3 ай бұрын

    Too many people believe the modern definition of forgiveness as merely 'not holding a grudge'. Forgiveness is a PARDON. Just as forgiveness of a debt wipes the slate clean and restores the relationship as if the offence never occurred. The granting of forgiveness results in the offender receiving something of great value. Not holding a grudge is something you give yourself and you are the one receiving the benefit. But it is not forgiveness because the offence is still there, and likely to be repeated. Grudges will harm you so by all means don't hold a grudge. But it is enabling to extend forgiveness without repentance.

  • @adjjal

    @adjjal

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@l.5832i screenshotted ur comment thank u

  • @terrysiave9996

    @terrysiave9996

    3 ай бұрын

    Dear wildhorses6817, what a sad story you must have lived. I am with you and I understand you so well. I pray for you. May you find healing, love and happiness. I am sure you will overcome your sorrows. You overcame this person, now you can only win. Many greetings. God bless you. And you are right: it is so important to protect oneself. There are really evil people out there.

  • @strongerbetterfitness3776

    @strongerbetterfitness3776

    3 ай бұрын

    Forgiveness is very different than trust and reconciliation. You can forgive without reconciliation and trusting again. Forgiveness sets you free not them. Very hard work. I am sorry you went through that hell.

  • @l.5832

    @l.5832

    3 ай бұрын

    @@strongerbetterfitness3776 You are confusing 'forgiveness' and 'not holding a grudge'. Forgiveness is a PARDON. It wipes the slate clean and restores the relationship. Think of what a pardon does in the justice system. The main beneficiary in a pardon or forgiveness is the guilty party. Their position is restored to where it was prior to the offense. The main beneficiary to 'not holding a grudge' is the victim. The guilty party is really not effected at all. Think it through. What you describe is not forgiveness. It is 'not holding a grudge'.

  • @TheVikingHighlander
    @TheVikingHighlander3 ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr Ramani. I've just ordered your book. I escaped 4 years ago and had to go it completely alone in a new country. I'm still terrified of leaving the house, I trust no-one, and I still spend my days either crying, sleeping or wishing I would fall asleep and not wake up. My only reason to live has been to care for my pets. With the use of additional self help and self care, I hope that your book can provide further knowledge and tools to help me heal and provide myself with at least some quality of life. 🙏

  • @audw82

    @audw82

    3 ай бұрын

    I'm with u 💯 Keep being strong, and you are! I always felt weak til I was told by someone on the outside looking in that told me I'm so strong and I survived such immense trauma. U hv too, and u ARE STRONG! Like DR. RAMANI said, everytime we heal from narcissistic abuse, we make the world better. I've also learned to use all the knowledge that I've learned from Dr. R and research on narcissism, to help others that are or were in our situation. Maybe u can be that blessing to others as well. Ty for being brave enough to share what you did, and I'm praying 🙏 for ur healing.

  • @TheVikingHighlander

    @TheVikingHighlander

    3 ай бұрын

    @@audw82 Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your bravery and resilience.

  • @bbdn5123

    @bbdn5123

    3 ай бұрын

    🌿🌺 Exactly sis, it's almost a parallel universe over here. I believe everything you wrote, it's our life, we do have eachother one way or another. Yesterday a woman thought I was being followed and said: "We watch and help our sisters!". Exactly this is written within my soul. Please take care, we need eachother. Something like it's a cure to disease to be kind, that's how you extinguish evil. I knew this when I was a child and then got corrupted. So much has happened, shakes your core. It's guiding back, calling us, remember. It's like I went into a trance like state almost just now, I've been holding back and bottling up... No more. No more fear. May The Almighty Creator guide us, may His Light extinguish the evil wickedness, ameen. ☝🏽💖🌌💫

  • @REDKNOTDREAD

    @REDKNOTDREAD

    3 ай бұрын

    Have you thought about a personal protection dog? While expensive and time consuming you can’t invest in enough for your life/family and psyche. Stay strong 💪 ❤you got this!!

  • @audw82

    @audw82

    3 ай бұрын

    @@bbdn5123 Amen!

  • @Moonflowers11
    @Moonflowers113 ай бұрын

    My mother used to say to me " it's not them, it's you" when I complained that people were mistreating me. I am over it now and finally narcissist free. I am 70 years old and it took me a long time. The last people I let go of were my siblings a few years ago. During the early pandemic i realized there was no hope of having a reciprocal relationship with them.

  • @johnwrickel

    @johnwrickel

    3 ай бұрын

    Thank you for sharing.

  • @Mylifewithanarcissist

    @Mylifewithanarcissist

    2 ай бұрын

    You didn’t deserve this and I hope you know that. Can I ask what you would do differently if you were younger when you first learned about narcissistic abuse? I don’t want anyone to take offense to me saying this but I don’t want to be 70 and still doing this I didn’t even want to be my age and still doing this.

  • @Moonflowers11

    @Moonflowers11

    2 ай бұрын

    @@Mylifewithanarcissist I was attracted to exciting people instead of nice people. IDK if I could have changed but I should have chosen people who were nice to me. I didn't really understand nacissists until a few years ago. The narcisists in my life were not extreme but looking back they were very annoying and caused me a lot of anxiety. The pandemic exaggerated the behavior of my sibs. I am much more relaxed and anxiety free now.

  • @chereeburtner4659
    @chereeburtner46592 ай бұрын

    I had a mom, sister and brother as narcissistic people growing up. I then married a narcissist. 2nd husband love bombed me and we got married. Now 20 more years in at 68, I finally learned the lesson to stay away from these people. My whole life was feeling scared, stupid, sitting on the edge of my seat. I'm getting your book today!

  • @MsLisa551
    @MsLisa5512 ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr Ramani.. you are the first human that understands my life. I blamed myself for years for my marriage. My adhd ,, my childhood trauma, abandonment, my abuse... although, my husband had the the same, minus the adhd. You have helped me realize that it wasn't all me. I have been in therapy since age 20. My spouse never went. So I kept trying to work on this marriage of 23 years. I left and have been punished for it. Using our daughter as the pawn. I last year I found your channel. Thank you so much for all that you do and help so many of us. ❤

  • @jessicagerou4132
    @jessicagerou41323 ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr. Ramini! For the longest time I couldn't admit to myself that my father (who was my hero growing up) is actually narcissistic. I'm starting to see people for who they really are, not who I want them to be. ❤

  • @An-mei

    @An-mei

    3 ай бұрын

    So well put! '..not just who I want them to be.' Interesting you call him a hero. I felt the same. Felt because I don't remember much of my childhood. It was always Daddy's Girl. I do know when my parents split I didn't want to stay with my mom. My Dad has done so many hurtful things from my teen on but I see him as a co dependent to my mother. He has cancer and I am there for him but sometimes I see that smirk or catch a glimpse and wonder if I am being played.

  • @Bonnienotbonnie
    @Bonnienotbonnie3 ай бұрын

    The breadcrumbs. The good moments. The casino metaphor rocked me just now. Wow.

  • @carolebarnes2736

    @carolebarnes2736

    3 ай бұрын

    I remember a good friend telling me years ago, when the good times don't make up for the bad then it's time to get out.

  • @tracyking5945
    @tracyking59453 ай бұрын

    I watched my mother turn into a mere shadow of my father through their 60 years of marriage. Her handwriting changed to the point I couldn’t tell hers apart from my father’s. She used to have beautiful calligraphy. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for your being the one person I could turn to for loving advice. ❤️🙋🏻‍♀️

  • @andreacook6000

    @andreacook6000

    2 ай бұрын

    Sending you so much love for what you said about your mum. I know exactly how you feel with that. I know another person that I listen to Dr Les Carter said narcissists want to steal you from yourself and put themselves in there instead, and that is what you’re describing with your mum. Sending much love to her.

  • @tracyking5945

    @tracyking5945

    2 ай бұрын

    @@andreacook6000 Thank you so much for your compassion Andrea. ::Hugs::

  • @sandrab.5065
    @sandrab.50653 ай бұрын

    00:25 to 2:55 - This section succinctly summarizes how or why emotionally abused people become or stay suck in toxic,unhealthy relationships. 🌻 TY, Dr. Ramani.

  • @Joelswinger34
    @Joelswinger343 ай бұрын

    Here's an example of betrayal trauma: someone tells her family that she was abused and they all either ignore her or tell her she is lying or she imagined it. Instant knowledge that she doesn't actually have a family.

  • @bookbeing

    @bookbeing

    2 ай бұрын

    I'm so sorry you were not heard by your family when you tried to bring up maltreatment. 😢😢

  • @lwontherez7927
    @lwontherez79273 ай бұрын

    Very true…in forgiving the narcissist, they WILL do it again. But forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning their bad behavior. Or being friends with the abuser. Or expecting anything different from them. Or letting them into your life at all! Forgiveness is relinquishing the RIGHT to punish.

  • @NadaAlawadhi
    @NadaAlawadhi3 ай бұрын

    I went through that betrayal, I lost sense of myself, thought that if what they did is still in the back of my mind bugging me, then I must be a grudging horrible person, and I went through a cycle of trying to find validation on KZread, but all I found was more validation to the person who betrayed me, and it just made me loathe myself and lose myself more. And they kept pushing back calling me a bad friend for not being there for them, for becoming the shell of the person I used to be. It felt like I was drowning, and he was the one who pushed me into the water, but also he was the one standing on the ground, panicking and telling me I’m a bad friend for not being able to stop drowning.

  • @confusedwhynot

    @confusedwhynot

    3 ай бұрын

    I hope and pray for your healing.

  • @TheVikingHighlander

    @TheVikingHighlander

    3 ай бұрын

    I feel this so viscerally. Most of the time I feel like I'm the narcissist.

  • @rielleonhunter4773

    @rielleonhunter4773

    3 ай бұрын

    Build yourself up instead of beating yourself

  • @christineblackmore9977
    @christineblackmore99773 ай бұрын

    We've been taught to forgive as it gives us freedom. This is the first time that I've ever heard that it's OK NOT to forgive. Thank you Dr. Ramini!!!!!🎉❤

  • @dynamic9560
    @dynamic95603 ай бұрын

    The last part of the video, about forgiveness, is something every survivor out there needs to hear ❤️

  • @manipura4049
    @manipura40492 ай бұрын

    I forgave but I had to leave. It was way to painful to be surrounded by people who were more than happy to put me down and tell everyone how awful I was. I have been alone for many years and only have contact with a few trusted people. I am doing well, but I am getting to the stage where I want to make new friends but I do not want to get close to anyone who shows signs of narc behavior. Wish me luck!

  • @user-we5tp8jd2p
    @user-we5tp8jd2p3 ай бұрын

    I have been sick for 2 years because of betrayal blindness. I have been hospitalized and to multiple specialists. As far as having a brain MRI. Extreme exhaustion, change in my voice. I have experienced vasovagal syncope. My digestive tract has not worked in 2 years. Have to take suppositories daily to have a bm. I have been through a variety of tests including tilt table testing. I now believe after watching many of your videos that my body has been in fight or flight my whole life and my most recent relationship was the tipping point. I have a therapist but I am very concerned I won’t get my body back. I am 41 and I work out daily and eat right. I take good care of myself. This makes the suffering that much more frustrating to say the least. Any help is appreciated

  • @SamStone1964

    @SamStone1964

    3 ай бұрын

    Do your cortisol levels feel off the chart?

  • @user-we5tp8jd2p

    @user-we5tp8jd2p

    3 ай бұрын

    No

  • @alliwarwick5590

    @alliwarwick5590

    3 ай бұрын

    I had just recovered from brain surgery when I met my ex narc. never had a problem with my blood pressure until then. I'm fit. I run. now after 2 years and a breakup finally starting to feel myself again. no more hypertension.....these sick people ruin everything in their path. They seem to never suffer ill effects from their abuse though.

  • @tlynn9819
    @tlynn98193 ай бұрын

    Took yrs to get away. DV advocate assured there was help but had to be out 1st. Went only place I had to go, in neighboring county & she says I'm in wrong county can't help. Called literally every agency since '09, told no help unless I have small children. Couch surfing, last outreach to VOA said call back when living in your car. Dr gaslighting multiple hlth issues preventing me from returning to work yet. Exhausted savings, at the verge of having to return to nightmare. It's not our fault they abused, but make damn sure you can get yourself out and on your feet. There is no one to help.

  • @user-uz8np4iv8g

    @user-uz8np4iv8g

    3 ай бұрын

    So so sorry for you. Please don't go back. You are strong You are now empowering your new journey into being safe, and especially peace You will find yourself again Good friends will support and help you on this journey I also went down that black hole, looking for help Then found Dr Ramani Only just finding myself again I don't care how poor I am I am free. Bless you for making that hard decission

  • @Priya_the_princess
    @Priya_the_princess3 ай бұрын

    Dr ramini i had a whole ick list of this man playing me and saying he’s serious with me and manipulating my experiance but whenever he convinced me it whooshes the whole list and one day i started no contact and re-reading it everyday all day and i realised how could i forget these important incidents 😢❤i let him go after that

  • @tlynn9819
    @tlynn9819Ай бұрын

    Have been kept isolated 17yrs in rural community and friends drifted away yrs ago, uncomfortable with my situation. With no assistance, hlth issues prevent wrking yet, have no money to live. Have a couple more weeks to find a way forward but will always be grateful for Dr Ramani's enlightening videos.

  • @andreacook6000
    @andreacook60002 ай бұрын

    Profound video. Everyone going through this needs to hear what has just been said. The capacity segment is just life altering. That helped me so much to just step back and move away from all the pain I’ve been carrying. That is an escape hatch.

  • @phoenixrising4768
    @phoenixrising47682 ай бұрын

    Oh, this is so relatable. This girl stayed back saying it was late.. I didn't suspect anything.. when I got my bf and the girl breakfast, I caught them leaning in.. and they immediately moved. It was so spontaneous that it was obvious something was wrong. When I asked him about it, he denied saying I was seeing things.

  • @user-hr1go7jh5q
    @user-hr1go7jh5q3 ай бұрын

    Wow! The whole family knew this person was ill, but no one said anything to me. Even when I went to the family members for support they all played coy, but thanked me for being with their daughter/ mother.

  • @Mylifewithanarcissist
    @Mylifewithanarcissist2 ай бұрын

    I didn’t know that betrayal trauma was a thing until the experience I am going through was about midway in. I haven’t begun any work on healing the betrayal yet because I’m lagging due to how much I need to process and heal. I am trying to get myself situated so I can get deeper into therapy . I will see a big improvement when the help I’m wanting is able to balance what I’m trying to deal with. One day I hope you get to read one of my books one day Dr. Ramani. You have had a tremendous impact on my life in a good way and not only have I wanted to help people who have been what I’ve been through but also I see it as a way to pay it forward and to show my gratitude towards people who help me with rebuilding my life.

  • @gregoryritchie7852
    @gregoryritchie7852Ай бұрын

    Thanks Dr.Ramani for encouraging me to heal and get MY voice back to give to the world.

  • @jilladams7573
    @jilladams75733 ай бұрын

    Kyle Kittleson and Dr. Ramani both seem likely genuinely lovely people 😍!

  • @deborahwilcox5716
    @deborahwilcox571625 күн бұрын

    Someone once told me”Forgiveness is releasing the betrayer from whatever you think they owe you”, NOT financial if you can use the courts to help you. Just remember, we ALL watching this video know the “feeling” of anger, rage, mind floods in your brain and heart that takes our hearts and thoughts on a terrifying hike, in the woods alone at midnight with no light! DO NOT allow yourself conscious or unconscious to go there! Stop those debilitating thoughts of slavery to overwhelm you. We-you can do it! Maybe prayer, Philippians 4:8 “dwell on these things that are true,honorable,right,pure,lovely,of good report; if there be any virtue,and if there be any praise….THINK ON THESE THINGS❤🙏🏻

  • @maureenrowlett3923
    @maureenrowlett39232 ай бұрын

    This has been brilliant for me, but the part that made the biggest impact on me was the forgiveness part. Holy wow!

  • @lwontherez7927
    @lwontherez79273 ай бұрын

    Thank you for the “No forgiveness shaming”. I SO agree with you on this!! And it’s, if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. And if it does, it’s a release that UN-TIES the person FROM the narcissist-which OSS always good!!

  • @jbiddle9235
    @jbiddle92353 ай бұрын

    I love what Dr Ramani has to say about forgiveness and forgiveness shaming. My mom's family literally screwed her over on her death bed and I was shamed for not forgiving them. Like do you want me to say that's okay when they have no remorse? Not a chance. Took me over 5 years to let go of the anger, but can never forgive that fully.

  • @spesch03
    @spesch03Ай бұрын

    Wonderful woman! Wonderful closing 👏🏻 she definitely is the only professional advice out there! So very qualified. Thank you for keeping this topic going so we can all continue to heal and grow.

  • @user-jb3lm1jf4t
    @user-jb3lm1jf4t3 ай бұрын

    I so appreciate this knowledge. I am 52 and I shoved everything in the top shelf until I physically, mentally and emotionally SHUT down! It truly made me sick

  • @SleepyMarshmallow-nj9su
    @SleepyMarshmallow-nj9su3 ай бұрын

    I love all of your content on narcissism, please don't get me wrong, but it's SO AWESOME to see you talk about betrayal trauma as well. It's just refreshing because I've often wondered about the topic and even looked for videos of you speaking on it before so I really appreciated this! Thank you Dr. Ramani thank you Kyle!

  • @tboned1
    @tboned13 ай бұрын

    My mother-in-law is a raging narcissist...my wife was covert until late forties then at 52 went full entitled raging narcissist...I left her after 40 years...now my oldest Son is raging...the other 3 adult children are normal...makes me wonder about a genetic predisposition towards NPD. All 3 have all 11 characteristics.

  • @icme8761
    @icme87613 ай бұрын

    Kyle’s whoosh made me remember so many whooshes. ❤

  • @andreacook6000
    @andreacook60002 ай бұрын

    Thank you for the piece on forgiveness as well that is life changing too. Looking forward to reading the book and going more into depth about all of this and being set free from these people once and for all. Part of the problem that’s so hard is going round and round in circles never being free from it. This is a video to keep and watch again and again until it really stinks into the core

  • @PixieCropCircleDuster
    @PixieCropCircleDuster3 ай бұрын

    I wasn't sure but now I am Bless you Dr. Ramani for doing videos this week while sick❤ Thank You❤

  • @juliepicard1492
    @juliepicard1492Ай бұрын

    I grieve through art and creative works!🎉❤🎉

  • @juliepicard1492

    @juliepicard1492

    Ай бұрын

    Drinking is double trouble😅

  • @DerekWong967
    @DerekWong9673 ай бұрын

    I love Dr Ramani

  • @lorimullen3680
    @lorimullen36803 ай бұрын

    Yes Doctor Ramani is "Thee Expert!"

  • @l.5832
    @l.58323 ай бұрын

    The family narcissist primes you for a narc marriage. I thought I was marrying the opposite to my narc parent but the narc husband knew my family dynamic so he pretended to be what I needed him to be. A few breadcrumbs were way better than I got at home. After the wedding, the breadcrumbs disappeared.

  • @SaveStef

    @SaveStef

    3 ай бұрын

    Divorce them, now!

  • @l.5832

    @l.5832

    3 ай бұрын

    @@SaveStef I did. Takes a long time to recover, though because it took a long time before I could safely extricate myself from the marriage.

  • @maevebutler4641
    @maevebutler46413 ай бұрын

    Thank you DrRamini for educating me re - my life history beginning with a violent narcissistic mother & then marrying a grandiose malignant narcissist I have suffered horrific abuse from them both, been betrayed countless times by them both I have numerous health issues & numerous surgeries as a result of all i endured & no i dont / ever will forgive them as what was done to me was unforgivable Thank you for your guidance and wisdom with your daily videos I would never have come through this without you Congratulations on your new book 🎉

  • @user-we8ek7ku7d
    @user-we8ek7ku7d3 ай бұрын

    Depending on the severity of the narcissism they are capable of self reflection, but not capable of change. In fact, gaining insight for a vulnerable narcissist is very doable, but it just induces shame in them, they then panic and look for new supply.

  • @user-vz2ei7sg1b
    @user-vz2ei7sg1b3 ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr. Ramani! You have helped me, my sister, friends and many others in our family. We are so grateful. Looking forward to reading your book.

  • @user-us5gs7rv5o
    @user-us5gs7rv5o3 ай бұрын

    yes i was and still are in a pattern, ths is violence in our hearts, it has been one after another, mother, friends, family ...and yes the World calls it normal...and yes i thought i was lucy to have them

  • @kathrynhayes1799
    @kathrynhayes17993 ай бұрын

    There is importance in completing a lesson. The reason I work on forgiving another person who meant me harm is because I do not want to have to come back here to take that lesson over again till I get it right. I want to complete the lesson and move on. Close the book on it and be done with it. In point of fact, they tried to destroy me but I survived. And if I can’t forgive them wholly, that’s okay - I made an attempt, I completed the lesson.

  • @supernaturalluck8215
    @supernaturalluck82153 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani, I'm so grateful to you on educating me on the root cause of why I had a difficult life. It was a result of having a narcissistic mother. I'm working on forgiveness, and keeping my distance to stay healthy. Love you Dr. Ramani.

  • @carolynlamar8079
    @carolynlamar80793 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much💕 Appreciate both of you💕💕🌸🌸

  • @gerritsen63
    @gerritsen633 ай бұрын

    Kyle. I agree Dr Ramani is brilliant ❤really loved this !! Thankyou 🥰

  • @JananyaKali
    @JananyaKali3 ай бұрын

    Dr Ramani, I love you. Not only are you a life saver, you're so fun to listen to as well. Thank you so much.

  • @jeffb8401
    @jeffb84013 ай бұрын

    You are my hero! Literally helped me heal, understand and move on. I am ok just sad for my kids who have a narc mother.

  • @joannecarr2034
    @joannecarr20343 ай бұрын

    I can’t wait to read her new book

  • @sadderandwiser
    @sadderandwiser3 ай бұрын

    Thank you, Dr.Ramani. I so appreciate your experience, your words of encouragement and your courage. Love you, take care of you ❤️

  • @tiffanybazemore3058
    @tiffanybazemore30583 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani you are so valuable….I will be ordering your book from Amazon today.

  • @kmychelle91
    @kmychelle913 ай бұрын

    Heavy on THE EXPERT! Thank you Dr. Ramani💜 Literally saved my life🤞🏾 Lifesaver

  • @WaterBug46
    @WaterBug463 ай бұрын

    Thanks Dr Ramani. My book is due to arrive Monday. It will join your other books that have been my stronghold as I negotiate healing

  • @arianasha
    @arianasha3 ай бұрын

    A TRULY WONDERFUL WATCH ! SPEAKS SO LOUD & CLEAR TO.. INTEGRITY, HONESTY & TRUTH ! To one's own heart and core.. Thank you so much for this wonderful powerful energy exchange, it rings all the way through to and for me 100% !

  • @user-tr5bz6mn5o
    @user-tr5bz6mn5o3 ай бұрын

    Dr Ramani, your video was very informative and I have learnt so much. The comments about forgiving were really resonated with me.

  • @mediacreations5996
    @mediacreations59963 ай бұрын

    This is so good, thank you 🙏, so many gems 💎 here,most helpful 🦋💖Appreciate this talk show 💫

  • @lizcamarillo2862
    @lizcamarillo286224 күн бұрын

    Thank you for your straightforward advice! Will get the book!

  • @mirananaim5971
    @mirananaim59713 ай бұрын

    This is an amazing interview, and Kyle is as usually asking the right questions and interfering at the right time❤ Dr Ramini, you are saving lives and souls ❤through your videos i learned not to be a flying monkey and to validate and explain to a very dear and beautiful heart what she was going through...rather beneath. Much love and gratitude from Beirut 🇱🇧

  • @InSouthernMaine
    @InSouthernMaine3 ай бұрын

    Finally - 30 YEARS!!! That's what this is - I'm not mentally ill. But, 30 years - now what? It feels like it's too late.

  • @poonambalan

    @poonambalan

    3 ай бұрын

    I feel the same also 30 years I am not doing too well my endocrine and cardiology state took a huge hit. I use the need for focus on my health, meditation centering my mind, and forcing myself to participate in community non work related events especially if it's exercise related helps. I guess I'm saying just jump into what you think you like or just discover new likes.

  • @jenniferandrews2835

    @jenniferandrews2835

    3 ай бұрын

    Never too late. Take care of self and don't be mistreated.

  • @theresakohler-ruda1292
    @theresakohler-ruda129213 күн бұрын

    Doc is good... take the compliment. Please 💛

  • @rachy2008
    @rachy20083 ай бұрын

    Thank you again so so much Dr Ramani. Thank you ❤

  • @NancyBrown1975
    @NancyBrown19753 ай бұрын

    Wonderful Dr. Ramani! I am so proud of you! I was hoping you would get another book out three years ago. I have watched your daily videos for three years now. You are keen at what’s happening around you in life. Keep going! You are doing a great job! Next up is to make a test for us to see what grade we get in our knowledge of narcissism of what we have learned from you! lol

  • @lukasp-fj2jm
    @lukasp-fj2jm3 ай бұрын

    Dr.Ramani love watching your videos and podcasts, so interesting and informative and has really helped me through tough times when I am in despair, keep going as I am certain many people worldwide appreciate you and have gained self respect and confidence in themselves from all your informative hard work . Greetings from N.Ireland Lara

  • @vickibazter3446
    @vickibazter34463 ай бұрын

    EPIC DR. RAMANI ☆☆☆☆☆ This is so helpful and elucidating. I have listened to hours of videos on this subject. THIS clicked the FOCUS button on. THANK YOU. I am getting this book.

  • @user-qg5ze4yt4n
    @user-qg5ze4yt4n3 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani helped me understand how to heal ❤️

  • @earthrooster1969
    @earthrooster19693 ай бұрын

    The PERFECT title for the book.. It's NOT about 'me' for sure.. Even though I always hoped it would be... someday

  • @brookea518
    @brookea5183 ай бұрын

    17:10 so important for people to hear this. She’s the best. I can not wait for my book!!! ❤

  • @joannabrites6288
    @joannabrites62883 ай бұрын

    Betrayal trauma is a dead end with a broken heart and bruised soul. I grew up the family scapegoat so my best friend Chris was my world. She showed me how to like myself and she always protected me. She took me in when my mother threw me out with a two month old child. There was no chance for me to be normal I was abused by my entire family and my sister started to physically abuse me. I medicated myself into nothingness. My friend met a man with money and I guess me struggling with an addiction was too much for her so she just abandoned me. When I say addiction I mean I didn’t steal or do anything bad to hurt her. She just stopped talking to me. She just left me stranded for yrs we didn’t talk. I couldn’t believe she did that, it devastated me and I had nightmares for yrs because of it. The one person I had left me. I was so lost and fell deeper into my addiction. Ten yrs passed before I can out of it. Everyone else I knew was dead, I mean everyone. How do we heal I’ll never know, but my life now has some normalcy to it. I raised an amazing daughter.

  • @user-hh1lc8rm4b
    @user-hh1lc8rm4bАй бұрын

    Dr Ramani is so real man! If you forgive them, they view it as permission. "I can do whatever I want, I'll just betray or do wrong and they'll just forgive me" (When my narc cheated she said "I just thought we were gonna talk about it like we always do and move past this." That's cause she crossed my boundaries and hurt me before and I forgave her, and then she went and crossed that particular boundary two more times and we "talked over it" and I forgave her so she thought when she cheated it would just be business as usual ha-ha. Clearly she didn't change when I forgave her in the past, what makes me think she'd change now?

  • @lwontherez7927
    @lwontherez79273 ай бұрын

    So true! That the narcissist’s abuse is on THEM’ One of the best things that happened to me during the trauma I experienced with my ex husband’s betrayal…was when a religious leader told me in very certain terms that what my ex did at that time was “not my fault”…No matter WHAT i did, in the marriage. So healing! Why? Because my ex husband’s and my identities were intertwined/enmeshed.

  • @Priceless16
    @Priceless162 ай бұрын

    One told me that I need to forgive and forget what he/they had done. The audacity!!

  • @andrehopeadefranco
    @andrehopeadefranco3 ай бұрын

    59:55 I feel like it's about forgiving yourself

  • @amberinthemist7912
    @amberinthemist79123 ай бұрын

    Never forgive betrayal. Ever. Leave if you can. If you are trapped do whatever you can to quiet quit and stay sane.

  • @endlessunivese9350
    @endlessunivese93503 ай бұрын

    i love your hair ramani

  • @Cherry-kt8zo
    @Cherry-kt8zo3 ай бұрын

    Whoosing it away is so familiar...

  • @terrij2024
    @terrij20243 ай бұрын

    Thank you 😊 ❤

  • @ritakapoor608
    @ritakapoor6083 ай бұрын

    Dr Ramani u r a god send

  • @barbarawilliams7327
    @barbarawilliams73273 ай бұрын

    Your videos are so helpful Dr. Ramani and this one is very interesting. Will you please address more on the issue of parents of adult narcissistic children, their abuse and the withholding of visitation with grandchildren. Thank you!!

  • @tarakadir9259
    @tarakadir92593 ай бұрын

    Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤

  • @dianedeclare8541
    @dianedeclare85413 ай бұрын

    There was no safe place for me to Turn for support. My best friend advised me to just ignore it and stay firm in my own identity. However , the isolation alienation caused by being shunned by the flying monkeys who believed the lies about me-that Hurt!

  • @mariarego396
    @mariarego3962 ай бұрын

    Thanks!

  • @angelaraycroft233
    @angelaraycroft2333 ай бұрын

    16:30..ty for the validation ❤

  • @janetabramson6978
    @janetabramson69783 ай бұрын

    Thank you

  • @trinamyers7726
    @trinamyers77263 ай бұрын

    That is so good…”When we’re going through the process sometimes it gets masked as a coping strategy”. That one hit home on many grief levels. I never put that together before. How do we know the difference?

  • @amandalea8156
    @amandalea81562 ай бұрын

    These two 💜

  • @katherinebraithwaite3794
    @katherinebraithwaite37943 ай бұрын

    Listening to this, I have to laugh.My brain is going, "Honey! I got more whooshes than Nike!" This is amazing, though. Gotta get the book and read it...MANY times. More than half a century of narcissistic abuse - first from my mother, then my husband, then three of my four children. No - it's not me. Now I know. But most of my life I've been told that if everyone around you is a jerk, maybe it's time to look in the mirror. No doubt there are many times when that is the case but I'm slowly realizing that this is not the case, this time. Two major whooshes from one daughter. The third time, I was accused of trying to suffocate my brand new grandbaby - in the same room as the father, and while I was doing homework with my youngest daughter. As someone who has had colicky and high-demand babies, and raised four with only financial support, I KNOW that this didn;t happen - it's just not something I could ever do. But when I denied it, I was called a liar and they said I was trying to gaslight them "again" but this time they were on to me. Apparently, all I had to do was admit that I had done it, and apologize, and everything would be fine. Is there ANY part of that that makes sense? I walked out. Took my youngest daughter, and we flew back home. Haven't spoken to them since. I miss the babies but I cannot and will not live with that behaviour. any more. And besides, if I let this one whoosh - what would be next?

  • @endlessunivese9350
    @endlessunivese93503 ай бұрын

    nope not because of you sis i deal with my own problems you are my psycologist i respect that

  • @robertathomas8503
    @robertathomas85033 ай бұрын

    Maybe he's not that bad. He doesn't hit me or cheat. Sometimes he's really nice. I get so confused and end up thinking I am to blame...have too high expectations. It's exhausting. I am exhausted. 48 years of going around and around in my mind.

  • @ms.liszz.9206
    @ms.liszz.92063 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani, I really hope that you can answer this. By making a video. How in this world can we find someone who is not narcissistic? Because everywhere I look and date I find Narc. I am tired. I am in my late 30's it seems that I need to give up on relationship. Because this world is getting worse. You can find them even in the church, these are the well-educated ones. You can't beat them out of their game in one two three. They will play you like there is no tomorrow.

  • @SaveStef
    @SaveStef3 ай бұрын

    37:15 “CAPACITY” and/or lack thereof segment begins.

  • @alvildasophiaanaya-alegria8419
    @alvildasophiaanaya-alegria84193 ай бұрын

    Grief 2 years for me. Because then I went into remembering my childhood abuse memories and had to grief that.

  • @tboned1
    @tboned13 ай бұрын

    we only bow to God...but Ramini is the bomb❤

  • @TheGoodGlow520
    @TheGoodGlow5203 ай бұрын

    I’m feeling so so betrayed. Recently by my narc egg donor and now by my Golden Child brother. I feel like my entire life has been one lie after another. Who can I trust? #feelinglostandslone.

  • @angelaraycroft233
    @angelaraycroft2333 ай бұрын

    12:55 in..absolutely ❤

  • @user-yt5sg7kp5s
    @user-yt5sg7kp5s3 ай бұрын

    ❤I would definitely choose Kyle ❤❤❤

  • @Phredmarie
    @Phredmarie3 ай бұрын

    The throat tickle. I get it too. I'm laughing with you. 🤣🤪☺️

  • @angelicamaster7764
    @angelicamaster77643 ай бұрын

    Don't ask us to FORGIVE please. The word is a trigger of shame. It is an enabling word. They don't deserve a badge! We can heal by working on our grief and loss.

  • @ssjb7542
    @ssjb75423 ай бұрын

    TY TY TY

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