We separated integration from fusion a long time ago and it was really helpful. We want to integrate our memories, process the trauma/responses and know our history. Some parts want to fuse and others don’t and I’m ok to let them decide between us.

I have DID and when I was diagnosed, following a C-PTSD diagnosis, I wanted all of my parts to go away, so I wouldn't have to deal with them, hear what they had to say, or feel what they had been feeling. However, with a lot of intense therapy and a lot of work, I got to know my team, and as I am right now, I can't imagine life without them. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish the trauma that causes C-PTSD and DID on anyone, but I think I would feel somewhat hollow if my team were fully integrated or gone. I don't know if I would be 'whole' if they were gone if that makes sense. As you say, healing doesn't have to equate to integration- in my case, it didn't, and that's OK. I love your videos and thank you all for your work.

Great video Dr Mike! 🥳 as always!

@luticia

8 ай бұрын

How are u doing nowadays?? I‘m interested how life is going on for u w/out DID?

Thank you this was very validating. 💗 At the start of treatment I was very much a fusion person, like very much, but as I’ve had 15 years of therapy now I realized that I actually just am happiest when the trauma is resolved AND I get to share my life with the other parts as distinct entities within. This makes me the most happy these days. I just thank you so much for validating that it’s about working on the trauma not necessarily about the DID system becoming ‘one’ per se.

Thank you for clarifying this, at times the discourse around this in this community has broken my heart. We have been desperate to be able to process the trauma and then integrate as many Parts as possible. Especially to fuse the Littles as they are so distressing. The trauma holders (EPs) make general functioning in life far too hard, and we dream of having them fused as well. Thank you for clarifying what is the most important aspect which is doing the trauma therapy. We are desperate to be able to do this. I know that for us integration is like the end goal, for when we are all on the other side of processing (feels impossible to see, but know it is the dream).

I “integrated” by developing a new organising centre in which the parts take their place, can be heard, and contribute. This was not a goal, it happened by itself in the course of an ongoing concentrated meditation on “true connection” - I woke up one day feeling like a stranger in my life and thought it was some strange new horrible symptom, but in fact it was a new sense of self. I no longer had ptsd because the horrible things happened to someone else, is the best I can describe it. I can now process bad memories and feel strong emotions without dissociating. My therapist cheered me on but no-one else much believes it, however, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, as they say. I do feel I stumbled onto something maybe interesting, but I am not a research psychologist to be able to frame it in a way that someone professional might take it up. Anyway. :)

With so much information out there, this channel has given me tools and encouragement to become a better therapist! Appreciate these videos 🙏🏽❤️‍🩹✝️👣🌄

@thectadclinic

8 ай бұрын

Great to hear!

@jazminebellx11

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for being a therapist and watching. I hope more do as it is vital for all of us.

@jesmer-sam3811

8 ай бұрын

Are you a Christian therapist?

@jesmer-sam3811

8 ай бұрын

I’m a Christian and have DID so if you want to ask any questions or like to hear my story sometime , or my testimony I will be glad to share. Sam If not I’m not offended. 😊

@jent4180

8 ай бұрын

I'm a Christian with DID. Not a therapist but would love to connect with you. If not interested, no worries :)@@jesmer-sam3811

DID really is a disorder of continuous change, I remember I watched video of yours on communication with parts a year or so ago and it was a little nudge I needed to start to listen to parts more and understand them. I have been in specialist therapy 5 years and in the past few months I have become so much more integrated and compassionate towards parts. We are working much better together, the PTSD is the best ever and we are much more functional. I thought this was impossible for me as for years and years all parts hated each other and the PTSD was overwhelming, but it turns out behind the scenes so much had been happening that I did not see! It is good but also a little overwhelming and I need a lot of reassurance to deal with this new reality but for the first time I see some kind of future for myself!

@faithwalker5196

8 ай бұрын

If you don’t mind me asking, what did you do for the years and years when it was difficult to function? I’m about to become homeless. There is nowhere to go.

@Themaskedprincess

8 ай бұрын

@@faithwalker5196 How utterly awful for you! I am sorry to hear that. I was homeless too, six years ago. I will say that during the time of continuing trauma (of which being homeless is one) I just had to keep my head down and focus on day to day survival and no processing or much healing could happen. I was barely coping and in and out of crisis. Your physical safety is of upmost importance so I would reach out to as many charities and advocates as you can that may help you. I know this is probably not particularly comforting advice, but I just had to hold onto a little spark of hope that if I stuck it out one day things might be better for me and things would settle and they did it just took a long time. Trust in your System that they will get you through, at the time I was homeless I was largely unaware of DID so you having some self knowledge and awareness could really help. Be gentle with yourself x

@faithwalker5196

8 ай бұрын

Thank you. If I had a social worker to help with making calls and filling out applications, I might make some progress, but I shut down on those things every time. Adult life is overwhelming for some of us. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I’m glad you’re homeless days are over!

We are so glad you are addressing this topic. Thanks so much Dr Mike. We have come (like others it seems from the comments) to use ‘integration’ as being co-operation between ourselves, communicating between ourselves, integrating trauma memories and importantly wherever possible having more of an integrated sense / timeline of our whole life. Then IF fusion happens between some parts naturally then so be it but we feel at this stage (although as you say it may change post trauma phase in therapy) we’d like to have a whole sense of selves rather than have a whole self 😊

Thank you for this video 🌻 my personal opinion is to learn to manage the angry trouble causing part of my DID. As an older person of 68 there are things I want to get on with in my life, adventures to be had. I’m sure we could do that not without the one being so dangerous. I need to quieten him done and have a better understanding of him. 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Healing from trauma vs dissociation. Thank you so much, a very helpful distinction. I love my parts now, even the dark one.

I likely am plural and my alters aren't causing distress in and of themselves, so we don't want to be rid of any of them. We just want the pain and trauma of each one of us to be healed.

@jezebelmorningstar1415

3 ай бұрын

We feel this to our core. We don't want to lose each other but yes. The pain, we just want to heal. ❤🖤💚

@mrs.specksynder970

3 ай бұрын

@@jezebelmorningstar1415 i hope you will be well :)

@jezebelmorningstar1415

3 ай бұрын

@@mrs.specksynder970 same to y'all 🖤💚❤️

Thank you for saying what you are saying here. I was led to believe that integration was THE goal. I struggled with that for so long. There is/was a few key alters that did not choose complete integration. To them it felt like choosing to give up their whole selves. I settled on accepting everyone and giving them their place (in my heart). I have been severely depressed for years. I feel like I am a failure because I am not fully whole. Will never be fully whole as I was expected to become. I went through feeling like I completely lost my selves and that hurt so much. I love your statement that the TRAUMA needs to be healed. My focus is now on that. Thank you. I needed the change in perspective. Now I can move forward. 112723

Thankyou for saying DID systems DO NOT NEED TO INTERGRATE. If anyone wants to try to "hurt" people of our system they can take a hike. We view our system as wanted and needed and so so so part of everything that is experienced. Integration feels like taking an entire family to a doctor and having the doctor just chop everyone up and sew them together to make one person. Horrible and barbaric. All headmates are wanted and needed and loved; period, end of story.

@saltydinonuggies1841

8 ай бұрын

There's a difference between fusion and integration. Integration is just bringing those walls down to help lower amnesia. It doesnt mean people are going to fuse if they don't want to. Lot of systems refuse final fusion because it's unstable and they don't see it as worth it, but integration is necessary for healing because you need to be able to work through and process those memories.

Thank you - a helpful video. We have a question - how often do systems totally integrate (as we did, or think we did) and then alters re-emerge later? Our integration held for a decade. We now working through the trauma many alters felt they didn’t get to express first time around. It’s good to hear the focus is healing from the trauma not the DID. Possibly wanting the latter made us rush towards integration.

@faithwalker5196

8 ай бұрын

Yes, if we were under any pressure to integrate, this would only make the shy, quiet parts hide.

@faithwalker5196

8 ай бұрын

Because sometimes the only way to survive is to be completely silent. So if you feel like you’re not wanted, it would be possible to survive for a long time without anybody knowing you’re even there.

Dr. Mike, thank you for what you do and how you care. We are unable to watch this video (again). That happens sometimes. We can come back to it. Sometimes that works. Dr. Mike, what can a person do when her present day life is as sad and emptied out as childhood used to be? What can we do if life in the here and now is as much of a crisis and a survival situation as that past life used to be? Because of the stress, I’m dissociative (DID) to solve it by myself, but there is no help. Not really. I don’t think I’ll make it, to be honest. I wish there was something in between trying to do it all by myself or check myself into mental hospital. If I had a social worker (in-person) for 20 minutes a week and safe, stable housing, I would be OK. I can’t get there, though, and there is no one to help.

Any chance of getting more videos on autism and dissociation? Would love to see topics like: -How autistic people might have issues with recognizing and describing their internal experiences and what might help with that when there is dissociation in the mix? Especially when trying to separate dissociative symptoms from others? -autistic catatonia vs dissociative and DPDR symptoms, how to tell the difference? (Or is it even important? The little research into it seems to point towards dissociation&catatonia being separate phenomena, though linked to ACEs) -is the presentation of dissociative disorders with autism different from neurotypicals in your experience? -are there any tips for autistic people, how we could better our communication with our therapist, or are there any therapeutic techniques you've seen work especially well with autistic people? I know you briefly brushed these topics before but I would love some more detailed videos on autism & dissociation, if I'm not wrong you said you were going to make some!!😄 Also: -what is the difference between adhd cluttered/noisy mind and other, more dissociative voice hearing? I do hear very clearly dissociative voices, but only when I'm very escalated and winding down from some event. On top of that, I have a very, very chatty mind (and audhd dg), but it seems pretty similar to many adhd tiktoks, with multiple differing/disagreeing trains of thought at the same time, music/singing, images/videos/memories, none or most don't feel like I even know what the thought was about because it's just so much at one time and it's not from my conscious mind. It seems to be such a normal and accepted part of adhd, but so many "this is what it sounds like"-video examples seem very dissociative-like, so I'm wondering if you have some insight into it. It's all so muddy and unclear and agh!! Also, the chatter stops as soon as I try and listen to it, so it makes me think it's just adhd chatter and not dissociative. Esp. since during the more intense voice hearing, if I try to stop listening to it, it starts coming out of my mouth, but I guess it's different when you're worked up about something 😂 so...adhd clutter? Trauma noise? Dissociative hullabaloo? What's with all the voices, Dr. Mike? -ECT and dissociative disorders? Heard anything or have experience with people trying it? Katherine Reuben had an excellent article in september about autism and dissociation on ISSTDnews. Thanks for sharing her on here, I'm definitely waiting excitedly to see what she's up to in the future!😊

I really appreciate healing from trauma being articulated a discrete step and goal. Flexability to heal in all different ways to map to the individual as it evolves over time. - healing trauma holders so important.

i have never assumed "fusion" was an option here. (late dx ,extent of dysfunction etc.) Integration here means us working together, supporting each other, helping each other find joy (if possible). i dont feel there is a core so nothing to 'go back to'. and finally since we created me - a completely new host alter just over a year ago i assume that fusion would be a temporary thing anyway. any time the stars aligned we'd create new parts anyway. and i have only witnessed one system who say they fused and remains a singleton a few years later. the other four (yes small sample) said they went through process of fusing and each had new alters a new system within a year. if someone here wishes to fuse/intgrate i wont prevent it - like i could right? but i want them to find peace whatever that looks like.

I'm not sure if we integrated parts but we integrated trauma from three different abusers in rapid succession. We went through what Peter Levene describes as completing a circuit. Our safe person became even safer and suddenly he had the abusers faces. We became catatonic not to hide but to process. Our body physically completed the actions we WOULD have taken when the abuse took place if we felt safe enough then. Our safe person did exactly what we needed while all this was happening and one by one, his face took on an abusers faces, a circuit completed and by the time all the abusers were processed, we took three big breathes and came back to the present, feeling safer and more relaxed than ever.

@kellypartin1319

8 ай бұрын

Holy shit this is like something I/we went through but much more... Catastrophic and drawn out

This resonates massively with me. Isolation and lack of trust especially are a big problem. Knowing others struggle with all this too, although sad, is somehow reassuring. Thanks

Thanks for looking at this topic. I was wondering: would it not be the case that if someone has healed from their trauma and also has a good relationship with their parts, and their multiplicity is not causing problems in daily life, they would be considered to no longer have DID, as part of the criteria are for the situation to be causing distress and difficulties? Would they not then just be considered to have a healthy form of multiplicity and not DID or OSDD ?

@emmalyckajacobsson590

8 ай бұрын

My thought about it the same one; even if the parts are still there when trauma is healed; it is no longer a disorder, just life in plural if it is "controlled" and the system manage it well, Isn't it?

@amandaball7116

8 ай бұрын

A good discussion point for a future video ! MeWe feel similarly and it’ll be good to have language we can use and be happy with. Essentially we will no longer be ‘disordered’

I have settled for management and cooperation as much as possible with better communication. There are times where this can be managed however in times of stress and when parts are triggered there can be a breakdown in communication and yes things can become difficult and I loose control of my life and being present more. So it’s important to use the tools I learned in therapy to manage my parts ( listen to them and support these parts of me ) to keep all of me in control of my life and not in crisis or doing self destructive behaviours.

Thank you for another informative video. I appreciated the distinction of healing from DID vs the trauma. I call it merging, and many parts are against it, while others seem to have spontaneously merged; because I have adopted an egalitarian philosophy, I allow parts to do as they choose. As you mentioned, functioning well in life should be the ultimate goal, and with cooperation, we have managed to do so.

We've never integrated after long thinking or debating or consciously working towards it - somehow it just happened and sometimes we didn't even recognized it as integration 😅🙈 For us the part about “understanding what healing means” was key. Because we didn't know how it is when something is healed or okay, we were quite fearful about healing as a thing. But after a time in therapy, our people noticed some very subtle integrations and fewer symptoms. So they told us and we had a chance to construct our own concept of healing and integration. Now its one of our goals and we are on a way where there are more and more days when “me” isn't the “we” as it was in the past years 🙂

Some people distinguish integration from fusion, I think? Integration can sometimes mean just having good communication in the system and coping well with life and working through the traumas, whereas I understand that fusion would always be a situation where there is just one person, with no alters / parts (unless just referring to two or more alters fusioning - fusing? - within a larger system).

@Themaskedprincess

8 ай бұрын

this was how my therapist explained it too, we are working towards integration (of memories, functioning, communication) and if parts fuse they fuse but that is not the aim of what we are doing, just better functioning and a better life

Good topic Dr. - looking forward to your insight/guidance

@thectadclinic

8 ай бұрын

More to come!

Thank you for expalining this!

@thectadclinic

7 ай бұрын

You are welcome!

Thank you for this video.

More providers need this outlook. Thank you for another great video!

@thectadclinic

8 ай бұрын

You are very welcome!

God you’re such a good therapist 😭💖

@thectadclinic

8 ай бұрын

Ah, thank you so much!

These videos are so helpful, thank you.

@thectadclinic

7 ай бұрын

You are welcome!

Thank you so much.

@thectadclinic

8 ай бұрын

You're welcome!

Wonderfully explained thank you

@thectadclinic

8 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

This is a bit confusing, because I understand integration to be the lowering of dissociative barriers and increased communication and cooperation with the system, while fusion is the combining of 2 or more alters into a new one.

To me integration is essential to healing past painful experiences and trauma. As it is taking on experiences ( thoughts/feelings) as ours, owning it rather than it remaining compartmentalised in a dissociated part of our self, feeling like it is not ours. ‘ Moving to a ‘This happened to me’. Then processing it ie feeling the feelings and moving through it, seeing it then as a past experience, rather than it feeling present. A lot of these words/ terminology, like fusion seems to be used as a framework for individuals to visualise a process. If that helps an individual fine. From my reading it’s not based on any concrete neuroscience. We construct a sense of self, all of us which evolves and all of us have parts/ aspects to us. The difference being an awareness and owning it all as ours and working towards a unified way of moving through the world that aligns with our values and what we want to do. Often with trauma, there is huge avoidance of inner experiences and a lack of awareness of our own self plus often a self that has moulded itself around what others want and one that has fragmented to meet these demands . It is then having the safety to explore who am I, what aspects are there to me. There may have been emotional growth that has been curtailed that gets restarted and we can literally grow up as adults though there are many adults that have emotional immaturity and do not have a diagnosis of DID/OSDD. I cannot understand the model that is expressed where people literally believe they are different people in one body that then is maintained as such with full awareness. That can be reinforced online and by therapists it seems. To me that is a belief system that goes beyond healing trauma, it is about how they see their identity and how they wish to construct that. Just my thoughts.

One of the things I don’t understand is that it seems that fusion would be a natural consequence of healing from trauma. The parts exist to hold trauma away from other parts. As trauma is healed it seems that the dissociative barriers would naturally come down and fusion would be a byproduct

@thectadclinic

7 ай бұрын

This can happen, but is only one way. Your description is more of a secondary development of the trauma work rather than a direct application of choice.

Wise words.

Thank you doctor Mike for the good work, I'm looking forward to this series 🌷 I wonder what the dissociation will become as the disorder is called "dissociative identity disorder" and not "multiple personality disorder".

@emmalyckajacobsson590

8 ай бұрын

If I understand your question right; when healed with or without parts it is no longer a disorder.

@amandaball7116

8 ай бұрын

Maybe we may say ‘we have Dissociated Identities’ or ‘we are many’ or ‘we are plural’ or ‘we are a multiple’ or ‘we live with functional multiplicity’ needs some thought but it’ll be whatever language works for that system ?

@Maremacbmf

8 ай бұрын

this is a bit confusing.. but yes if there is cooperation and less amnesia then it isnt a disorder. the disorder isnt the parts - the multiplicity .. the disorder is more about the 'disordered' part of the title. the dysfunction the lack of communication and cooperation.

@emmalyckajacobsson590

8 ай бұрын

Or perhaps your question was more about how dissociation is described in DID?

How do you deal with a loved one with DID who has an angry alters, who somewhere down the line was told bad things about you, and you can't convince them it's not true?

Is there comorbidity between narcissistic parents (or caring for them until they die) and DID? I haven't examined more than one system. However, the delayed recognition by the host (age 40s - 60s) could potentially be associated

@princessodonata2729

2 ай бұрын

Speaking from my personal experience of having a narcissistic mother and only discovering that I fall somewhere in the OSDD/DID spectrum in my 40's (after she died), yes. I now realize that I had hints of it all my life, but "pandora's box" (so to speak) didn't open until after she died.

@marshallrobinson1019

2 ай бұрын

@princessodonata2729 I hope you guys are able to unearth, examine, and heal. For me, this inquiry started only in retrospective upon hearing the same conversation via text from an alter explaining a moment I observed between the host and her mother. There were too many eerie details irl that coincided (including a prompt from her mother (wink), naming the alter, and fear/dissociation of the host). I was floored. It is entirely possible the host's mother knows of the alters and sets them against each other.

Can fusion come undone without the person being aware? I knew someone who was post-DID treatment. They were fine but after a lot of stress were denying saying things I knew they said. It seemed as if an old part or new part emerged that they were unaware of.

@thectadclinic

7 ай бұрын

This seems to happen for some people, yes. Sorting about the past issues doesn’t always protect against new stuff.

Dr. Mike, on a separate (but maybe related) note, can the trauma(s) be healed without the parts sharing/unburdening themselves of their memories? We have become very functional, but without memories from ages 0-14 yrs.

@angelwild5665

8 ай бұрын

I have a similar issue as I do not have memories for a lot of my childhood and adulthood. How do I heal from something I can't remember?

@Scrimblescromble

3 ай бұрын

@@angelwild5665I’m just guessing it becomes even deeper parts who are very buried :(

The picture on the left hand wall is quite disturbing. To me it looks like a male head lying on its side. Very creepy. I can see a mountain too. Is it just me 😮

@loriandcrew3216

7 ай бұрын

Me too. They all served me at the time of creation. ❤

@thectadclinic

7 ай бұрын

The painting is an illusion, where two different pictures are merged, and seen according to perspective.