In what area are you holding yourself back because you don't want to take on "leadership"?

@DearYoungerSelf111

4 жыл бұрын

Birthday party! Your metaphor is a reality for me. Avoiding planning my birthday cause my social circle is small & being let down for the people I invited not showing up.

@simovtransportmedia1137

4 жыл бұрын

Big social events.

@afternoon222

4 жыл бұрын

Everything! It's like you said, we shy away in one area and it's kind of pervasive, spreading to other parts of our lives. I didn't see the connection that my past leadership roles in college was part of why life felt so epic at that time. I did it again in med school but didn't leave enough time for self-care and that's probably why I was so glad to get out of the leadership role. When I did, it felt so nice to sit in the backseat and I've been there ever since 😆 Thank you so much for this video! It connected a lot of dots for me and has inspired me to be more of a leader going at my own pace.

@drewyoda

4 жыл бұрын

Responsibilities that involve telling people who I don't know what to do.

@jjhdarklight007

4 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/aIBrtKqjj7fXqNo.html

I think INFJs are great leaders. The best leaders I have worked for care about the people “under” them. They also have a strong view of the world and what they want to accomplish. People will follow. I was a “leader” for 15 years. I was pushed into the spot but once I was there I enjoyed watching people grow and succeed. I enjoyed watching people do things they did not think possible because they were willing to try. INFJs have compassion and a path forward. I cannot think of a better leader. If we can get past our fear, it is amazing how people will follow. I have since made a life change and I am back on the bottom. I am honestly happy to live without that responsibility. If it comes again I will gladly take it on.

@80sbaby90

4 жыл бұрын

💯. I agree...

My "leadership" style has always been one who delegates by others strengths or give tasks that will challenge their strengths.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

😊👍

@aztechnology7996

2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad someone mentioned this... INFJ's can potentially be the best bosses on the planet for the modern workplace, because they actually believe in their employees' talents. Completely contrary to the prevalent micromanaging and mundane daily existence. The catch 22 is they're as rare as unicorn tears to find. (Just my personal experience)

So true - I think for me it’s the perfectionism - sometimes I don’t say something in a meeting because I’m scared to say it differently than how I pictured in my mind or that people won’t understand my idea. Then I just end up always being the quiet one (even though my mind is so active)

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

Totally know the feeling...what has helped me is to say to myself: of course I will suck the first times around. Of course it will come out wrong and not how I meant it, but it will be great the 5th time and every time after that...so let me get through those "sucky" ones so I can learn how to express myself

@tanziel123

4 жыл бұрын

Just dont worry about what you say, it's only a perspective your adding to the topic or the matter that is being discussed it has nothing to do with people .. infact contributing your idea and communicating with others is a good thing its better than not contributing at all... My point is everybody has their own point of veiw at looking at the topic inhand nothing is wrong or right, in your case which your assuming its might be irrelevant, maybe it is maybe it isn't only when you communicate with others they will share their opinion with you, which can inturn help u decide to restructure ur statement or rethink your opinion. Just dont be afraid to 'Communicate', there is no age for learning. 😁✌

@henryar5666

2 жыл бұрын

I'm the same exact way

I’m not saying I want to be a leader but I think it’s better than being told what to do

I'm an INFJ 5w4 and I love being leadership. I have guided atleast 50 people on and off under me .. you can become a true leader when you have real intrest in what you do and have the power to communicate to the people around you in the right way its simple as that.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

👍😊👍

9:14 this perfectly explains something I struggle with. The very few times I make a stand for myself the fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, and loneliness kicks in hard. I want to but feel like I can’t make my own dreams come true.

I've watched 8 videos, and all of them that had me impressed of how precise you are in talking about things that are problems to INFJ. These videos really help!

I've recently found myself forced into leadership due to inheriting my fathers business after his passing. Out of necessity I have quickly learned to embrace my Se and Fe to a degree I would have previously avoided. I feel myself growing and my awareness feels broadened. It may not be easy at first, but the results do feel fulfilling. Thank you for your advice.

Hahaha as a natural leader who avoids it like a plague i am very excited to see this video!

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

😉

I do stay away from being a "leader" because others try to dictate your leadership and tell how you should be or what you shouldn't do.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

If you are standing in your authentic power people can and WILL always try to dictate to you but the point is to follow your own drum until they realize they will not be able to sway you away from your path

@marcushennings9513

4 жыл бұрын

I agree or they fight, kick and scream the entire time and stress you the freak out only to come back later and say oh you were right. Now I let'em fall and save myself the heart attack but also make sure they are far enough away from me that I dont get hit with any shrapnel when their crap explodes.

@marcus813

4 жыл бұрын

Those people you're talking about need to understand that there's more than one way to lead. They need to let you be yourself because some people can sniff out a lack of authenticity.

I am a very enthusiastic person. I naturally bring people in to my orbit. I have been a fellowship coordinator for church. I have done a eulogy for my best friend, and also run the memorial service for another best friends mother. I think that i avoid leadership in part because of perfection paralysis. I have a huge fear of letting people down. I believe the ways infjs are great leaders is because we see what people are great at and we know where to put them. We also get shoe horned into leadership because we dont know how to say NO. Also we dont crave the power and control.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

I can totally relate...but there is no way to do good without letting some people down. It won't be perfect ever but if we show up authentically and we try our best we will feel more comfortable in the role....and as you said: you don't want to be a leader when it comes to power and control...but in the fellowship situation your way of leadership suits you because you are helping others and not pushing them down

@annarehbinder7540

4 жыл бұрын

Wenzes I’m in politics really good observations both of them!

Like i said before i'm a Sensei in tae kwon do...at first when i started giving class, all my superiors thought i was foolish...First i taught them the meanings of a good head space(when the sweet breeze blow) n the bad head space(tornado)...everyone will go where the sweet breeze blow n very few will go where there's a tornado...but u have to remember that the sweet breeze blow can become a tornado n vice versa...the sweet breeze blow will bring people n the tornado will teach them a listen they'll never forget...like u said BALANCE is the key for a good leader because people will tell if ur not enough or too much...n that goes for anything...once u see the light u also see the imperfections...once u see darkness u also see the perfections...bottom line...be the one u want to be because there's always going to be someone that dislike u n someone that likes u...the principality is u have to love urself no matter what the weather is like...very few will understand that but at least i tried with my sweet breeze blow...lol...Cheers!!!

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

👍😊

Love the video. I was recently nominated and voted in as president of the board of a non-profit industry trade group I’ve been involved in. I reluctantly agreed because the members view me as this natural networker, but they have no idea how much energy and stress is expended every time I’m out at an event. I adopted a new mental model of leadership that has served me well. “Leadership is servitude” , a leader is in place to serve those who follow, to use his or her unique skill set to help move the organization and those within in forward and leave them better off than before I came into the picture. I’ve always identified with leaders , but what held me back was the idea that I need to be 100% optimal before I can step into a position like that. The problem is, it is impossible to ever view myself as 100% optimal and polished. It’s an endless mountain to climb. In my situation, I got thrust into the position at the request of others but soon realized that I wasted many years trying to perfect myself when I was ready all along. Sometimes a. INFJ with an unfulfilled calling to lead needs to simply take a leap of faith.

I recently found that you need to be somewhat narcissistic to succeed as a corporate leader. Those personality types can withstand a lot to get power. Others may burnout before reaching that place.

Very well structured convo. So true !!

I was chasing this lady and struck out. FREEDOM! I never felt this good.

Very inspiring message, thank you Wenzes!

Outstanding! Thank you, Wenzes!

Before watching this video, I had read two articles on Infj leadership. Both of them emphasized the wise use of intuition, planning, empathy, interest in personal development among other things. In other words, both writers made it plain that INFJs can be leaders. So this video provided super confirmation for what I read. It would have been interesting if I had watched the video before reading the articles - but that really doesn't matter on the long run. I found this video encouraging. The new school year comes up in two more months, so I'll probably be reviewing it several times.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

👍👍😊

6:31 “It’s choosing to be authentic”. Amen amen amen 🙏🏾 Happy Sunday Wenzes 😊

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

😊👍 happy Sunday to you too Brittany !!!

It is not thay somebody is a leader so people will follow him/her, but people follow that person so that person becomes the leader. Today so many people want to be leaders, but not their authentic self with their authentic goals. I appreciate this video, thank you.

This is all still very new to me I’m extremely private and stoic person but now that I’ve learned more about myself at a time where the world needs more leaders and less followers I’ve stepped way out of my comfort zone found my voice And the universe will take care of the rest much love and thank you for your insight

Absolutely brilliant

That is just an amazing video! 👍(It even brings me to my first KZread Comment ever)

Thank you Wenzes 💕💕💕

In my experience- people don’t take me seriously. I don’t have time or need to prove anything. You don’t believe in me, bye. You question me or I have to keep trying to fight. I’m good.

I love this.

I've known for a long time that I was a natural leader. I have never sought leadership roles, but others in leadership singled me out and gave me leadership roles. I took on these roles and just applied what I knew about the situation and lead others to do what needed to be done. After time, I was recognized as a person who could get the right results and was given harder more important roles in the organization.

You are so Right.

Thanks again and again Wenzes

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

Any time!

Thank you for this. I stepped outside the box to become a leader after working at a company for 15 years snd it was disastrous. I resigned after four weeks.

This is brilliant and how I have spent the last 40y being afraid of ev1 and myself. Always tried to blend into the background to become unnoticed and bumble though life, the easiest way possible. Letting others believe, their right, while I just shut up and say nothing, cos I don't have the resources to fight. Its in my head, but never comes out very well, though nerves or stuttering. (bit confused on all the abbreviations, but I'll get there)

I will never give up on leadership not until I die

This is pretty accurate

I love me some WENZES! Such great insight. What an awesome person

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

😊

Well said! At this exact time this is what I needed to hear. The universe put you in my recommended.

Consistency is most important of all for us to develop SE.But it requires a lot of discipline and pushing through pain even when you don't see the point of doing something - getting it done anyway,no matter the circumstance. When you first use SE,you realise reality is extremely hard and painful.You'll say "what's the point of going through this" because reality crushes your NI,but consistency builds it back up.SE stops NI from being detached from reality.After going through pain on a consistent basis you learn the ability to keep going no matter what,keep looking forward and taking steps to eventually make NI a reality.And also SE experience will give your NI the opportunity to make links to SE so you know how the pain you went through (when at the time you didn't see the big picture) links to the progression of your NI vision. We all know that hard work pays off,but when we're working hard we don't see the point.It's only after the small experiences we have,that we'll know what it really takes to accomplish the vision,and why it was necessary to do it.However it requires being strong minded,and you need to be pushing your perspective into SE mode rather than NI,which can make you feel extremely vulnerable,however as a male I noticed from others body language when I am vulnerable and willing to walk freely without using my natural defence mechanism I use in social situations,when I walked past people they appeared to be more respecting and aware of my presence as oppose to walking with my head in NI FE land. You need to be hard on yourself,disciplined,consistent and strong minded to develop SE in terms of your mindset so you don't fall into NI and think "Is there even any point of me doing this?" only when you're getting the experience.Once the experience is over you can go back to NI land.But the discipline,consistency and persevering comes in where you have to snap out of your NI mindset and force yourself into reality at the time of getting an experience.It's very hard to snap out of it because you're so calm,relaxed and comfortable in it but with consistency and practice in developing the "I'm going to go to war" mentality because that's literally the way we see it it'll get easier.But just make sure you stay consistent,NI can inhibit this though.

I'm very much an INFJ. I am a natural leader, I don't know what you're talking about.

😭😭 you're so right

I crave leadership bc i like to see reform. If i try to put myself in leadership --in areas where i think change is needed--i rarely get support. I think it is bc im pushing change in areas ppl dont want change. If i happened to be in a place where leadership needs are obvious, i can fall into the roles naturally and often dont want them bc of fear of playing the negative roles, perfectionism, and hv trouble synthesizing actions and decisions that meet so many needs. It can create anxiety. There is a fear of letting ppl down.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

The anxiety and the fear of letting down will go away ones you accept it's inevitable. Of course you will let some people down. The more you stand up in "your unique leadership" and don't wait for others to follow in order to feel validated you will naturally attract the ones who crave this kind of leadership and the people who don't...just leave you alone 😉👍

Thank you 😊

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

😊

Give me about ten attempts and an hour to configure whats in my mind in words. :D I think that we INFJs don't like the term leadership because of the stereotype idea about it but we are actually born leaders in our own way of doing that. Infact thats probably our biggest life struggle - to be leaders but in the unconventional way. To make our antimainstream style of living be heard and respected. That is what I call INFJ leader.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

😊👍

@meme-hz1mq

4 жыл бұрын

You took the words out of my mouth

thank you so much

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

It's been many decades now. I'll be 74 soon. Back in the 80s. Twice I turned down management job offers to other companies, then I turned down the assistanct service manager's job where I was working. Always has been the conclusion that advancement out of the trenches with the everyday working technical people, would eventually lead to pushing me out the door.

I don't have to lead others everytime,only when I have to.

No thanks. Three years of being an army officer at fort hood made me NEVER want to be a leader again.

Such a confident and cute voice

Ookk i didn't let u finish before i spoke! Sorry. Ook ook u right

3:12 (we as human....) to 4:01 (...will follow you)

Sometimes I just get so angry that I say, if I have the chance to be the leader one day I shall not be someone like this. I would not handle it this way. Blah blah ! If the time comes and I have the ability it’s the only way that I find the kind of fairness in the system and stand up for it. And see if I am too idealistic or not. I become deleter because I know the result can be of the best interest for myself and others and that’s all. It’s to prove that there is alternatives

I am an INFJ,I got lot of friends and they admire me as a motivator,loyal and good problem solver,they also seek suggestions and help from me. My professors also praise me as a good leader.In my oppion,INFJ's place themselves according situation around them.For example I would consider "Mahatma Gandhi,Nelson Mandela,Martin Luther King and Adolf Hitler" are best leaders that world has ever seen.The thing is that INFJ don't want to interfere in wanted affairs and don't want to expose themselves to world.We can achieve our goal only through isolation because other's interference may disturb our progress.So,I accept with your some your terms but regarding leader ship I don't.If the situation really demands INFJ can be anything they want.

@riceandramen

5 ай бұрын

This point about valuing our privacy is a huge factor for me!

Lead by example.

I think infj's know they're interesting (very interesting!), Because we think about very deep/meaningful topics, but we're rarely ever understood. We also want to know others, because we know ourselves very well. We spend too much time inside our own minds, and many people don't open up.

This is on the spot. I was on my "grip trip" for long time and try to behave like an ESTP. I was offered position of director and my closest ones persuaded me to start my own company. I was horrified...

@jae6530

2 жыл бұрын

How has it been since you’ve started your company? I too am wanting to start but I am horrified.

@R2242V

2 жыл бұрын

@@jae6530 I didn't start yet! For me it's about risk reduction and not drag down other people with me. I've seen too much failure regarding self-employment. Fortunately, couple weeks ago I found interesting opportunity to start something what appears to be tailored just for me. It's a work which is done only at 2 or 3 places in country where I live. And I can start it with my knowledge only... and some computer with basic software.

@jae6530

2 жыл бұрын

Ok got it. Thanks for responding and good luck to you!!

9:14 (So we as INFJs...) to 10:11 (...our fears are so true)

Even though I am not an introvert ,introverted extrovert, I still want nothing to do with leadership because I am not responsible, I crack easily under pressure, I am not a good communicator, and it’s just a lot to being a leader. And what the adults who poured into me should understand is that leadership is not for everyone because I wouldn’t work for myself. That is why I always want someone else to lead something because Of the reasons listed above. That is why I have veered away from leading positions.

Leadership is a stressful thought, I like to move solo dolo. More room fo mistakes, and less pressure to achieve success for the sake of others. I'm not perfect

@amyj.4992

Жыл бұрын

I prefer to be a diplomat and an advocate, not a visionary for people. They need to o think for themselves

I like the idea of leadership and being a leader for others and can see myself being successful of doing that but yeah I am bad at being a leader of myself😂

Howdy. I'm a new subscriber. Question "In what area are you holding yourself back because you don't want to take on "leadership"?" Answer - I do not have a desire to take on any leadership roles due to how it would cause me to perform mainly in the administrative aspect of my career field ( vehicle mechanic). I have done much better as the "go to guy" on technical expertise, assistance, and performing the repairs than being the guy that tells people to do it. I also like to work alone. I'm happier and more efficient that way.

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

Totally get that...remember the leadership I am talking about is mainly about leading my example and following your own path...that doesn't have to involve any administrative work whatsoever...I also love working on my own :) or I have people working for me

i want to be a leader but im scared that i wouldn't be a good enough leader for people.

Are there certain personality types that are best suited to INJF advice where you can feed them ideas to run with?

Yay! Its raining rn😄

I do much better managing myself. I don't like babysitting other adults.

It seems that role falls upon us most often when those around us refuse to take that role and delegate that to us because of how we are perceived. In other words, we do not seek it out but it does find us.

Tired of being in leadership situations, tired of being responsible for others. Leadership roles are overrated.

Simple: People get in the way.

NOooooo

I'm always selected for leadership. My most recent role is Construction Foreman?

We can't please everyone so why try? We fell so much pain cause more people are in pain then being happy! So we hurt so much

I'd Be a poor management type, i tend to questions pretty much everything, i dont kiss peoples @sses. and dont like being bombard by multiple sides. between underling s, customer s and uppermanagement.

Why do we push people to be leaders if they don't want to? Aren't there other career options aside from leadership?

I am just scared that people can't accept who i really am..

@Wenzes

4 жыл бұрын

The will have to accept it...but of course the people around you that have known the image you have presented will like it less because you are doing less for them...but you will also care less because you will love yourself more when you do what makes you happy

@amirulamri5209

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your reply..much appreciated..its just hard making friends in my childhood..so it kinds traumatised me a bit..

INTJ have the same problem? ✌️🌟

@miacisewski6945

3 жыл бұрын

Doug Halversen I’m not an INXJ but I have heard that INTJs have some leadership skills (due to auxiliary Te) but that they may not like leading others. I cannot say the same for all INTJs, but INTJs prefer “leading from the background” unlike their ENTJ counterparts.

I guess your perception of alpha is not the leader, which is where most of my disagreements resulted from your previous video. We are very contradictive people, lol.

I think we are leaders. We just don’t like the title and the bullshit that comes with it! I think you are better assisting those who think they are leaders. But I have to admit there is also some fear.

I think your misusing the word “leadership” with the concept of being in a charge authoritarian position... many people who are in positions of authority are not actually leaders. Many people are more comfortable with poor leaders being promoted to positions of authority because they then follow the guidelines and don’t actually lead or make decisions. Your not recognizing that your friends are suggesting things that you are in agreement with... I should have watched the whole video before making a intuitive leap... 1:23 i like your videos but this one does not apply to me... and I suspect not to you as much as would like to think. Wanting to be in charge and manipulating people in order to be... is not leadership... getting cohesive results and collective behavior resulting in beneficial group outcomes is leadership. The world suffers from a majority of “needing to be in charge” people with poor leadership abilities being in positions of authority because they need a “rod of authority” to wave about. As INFJ’s that position is not necessary for leadership... only for recognition and ego... perks, benefits and associated consequences and conditions... lol... thats why the people in charge often turn to a INFJ for assistance and they like the multitude of people who turn to them... extroverted attention seeking versus introverted accomplishments ... i think your videos are great but your projecting a misrepresentation.

Your channel is a breath of fresh air for us infjs! 🤗🫶🏾💕