As someone who is "the therapist friend" in a lot of circles I'm in, I cannot tell you how often I just want to lay into someone for how they live in a damn circle of the same bad events caused by their own actions. But you know whats equally satisfying, but actually helpful? "Why." The third time the same thing happened for the same reason, I just ask questions. Usually they fall down the rabbit hole with me, my chriosity is fulfilled, and the emotional space they made around me serves its purpose. But when they get offended by the question(s), they make it clear to me they don't actually care about inproving, or are not in a mental space to do so, and I can safely start the process to disengage. Granted, I have still torn into people before. It feels good. We're all human. But I like learning stuff first and foremost.

personally i have a different definition on what venting does i have vented with several therapists before. it feels like the invisible weight that you feel on you gets to be noticed a little bit by others. it doesn't lessen the weight but the tension from holding it can lessen.

I smiled instantly when you mentioned the beginner's guide. I've liked The Stanley Parable for awhile, I thought it was a unique and interesting meta tale when I first came across it. I think the Narrator and the jokes about the Narrator are funny. I was a bit surprised to see it suddenly increase in popularity with the rerelease. But when I got into Stanley Parable, I was curious if they had created anything else. And that's when I stumbled across The Beginner's Guide, and I find it even more interesting. (SPOILERS) What's interesting about it is the first time you go through, you wonder if these are real demos made by a real person, and is this a real conversation of some kind. But after the ending on rewatch you start to think "Am I, the viewer, the asshole here too? For figuratively prying through someone else's private work because of sheer curiosity, just like the narrator? How much of that applies to the internet in general?". It makes me think, and I love when media starts a discussion like that. I also liked the liminal space, and occasionally think back to that. Like part of me is looking for a safe space I can unwind in too. It's a lot harder than you'd think. I'm super bad at relaxing, but trying to get better at it. But uh going back to the therapy and venting topic, I learned you can't intellectualize your way out of a problem the hard way. I tried to for a long time, but you know what they say about hindsight. I think there is a big lack of emotional regulation skills in general, but I'm also not blindly blaming anyone for it. I think it's because we assume these traits are inherent instead of learned. And that's where therapy comes in, it's like make up school for parenting lessons that should have happened but didn't. Turns out shoving your feelings into a box doesn't work long term! I feel like this is a big problem in US culture, which has been made worse by social media. It all feels like performative caring about the issue, but then when you actually struggle people act like you got cooties. (Which isn't entirely incorrect, but the truth is that we feel better when talking to people because we are a social species and sometimes coregulate. Hugging can help reduce stress! We are meant to work together, and being locked in a room by yourself forever is super unnatural, as many learned during COVID. And I say that as someone who is often labelled as an introvert.) But yeah I think what I've learned is sometimes I need to take some alone time and self regulate, but sometimes being alone will only lead to spiraling, and that is when I need to reach out for help and support. Easier said than done. lol Something about how things can be changed easily reminds about the anime/visual novel Higurashi (When They Cry). (SPOILERS) Rika is trying to fight against an inescapable fate. Without going super deep, she's trapped in a loop, and after many loops is feeling jaded and defeated. She starts to give up on trying, feeling like any attempt would be useless. One of the other characters makes a very tiny change by the magical skill of... asking a question when having a complaint. And this moment stuns her, and gives her the strength to have hope and try again. I was thinking about this recently, as I feel like I was in a similar spot for awhile. I felt like no matter what I did nothing changed. So I stopped putting myself out there, and gave in to sadness and doubts. And it felt like a ping pong back and forth, try, give up, try, give up, try, give up. Always trying to talk myself into doing more than daydreaming and hoping. Having crazy high standards with no breaks. But seeing one video changed that. Your video. And it feels like everything is going wrong right now, but I'm trying anyways. Even if it's not guaranteed to work out, there are things more important than instant success.