If He Pulls Away, This Will Make Him Chase You

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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 - 0:44 - The Question
0:44 - 2:40 - The Royal “We”
2:40 - 3:46 - The Vulnerability Filter
3:46 - 4:49 - Navigating No Man's Land
4:49 - 7:22 - Vulnerable Communication (w/ Texting Example)
7:22 - 8:34 - A Beautiful Loophole
Chapter 7) 8:34 - 9:44 - Knowing What to Say

Пікірлер: 565

  • @thematthewhussey
    @thematthewhussey Жыл бұрын

    Really enjoying reading all your comments this Sunday everyone. I’m curious, now that you’ve watched the video, what is an excuse someone gave you at some point about why they couldn’t give more to the relationship, that you started co-opting and using when talking to friends and family to justify why things were the way they were between the two of you? What logic did you start parroting that wasn’t actually authentically YOU, but you buying into someone else’s logic at the time? Leave me a comment and let me know.

  • @georgiaanderson7025

    @georgiaanderson7025

    Жыл бұрын

    Work and Children...ages 21, 18 and 16... 🤨

  • @okashi10

    @okashi10

    Жыл бұрын

    Long distance, so that's why we couldn't talk more or be exclusive. I clearly wanted to, but I adopted it like "oh this can't develop further just because we're long distance." 🙄

  • @magdazubrycka8405

    @magdazubrycka8405

    Жыл бұрын

    0

  • @luzturner1373

    @luzturner1373

    Жыл бұрын

    He - We see life from a different perspective Me - bs 😁

  • @kristir1262

    @kristir1262

    Жыл бұрын

    "It's just the wrong time" not sure if someone actually used that... But I've started describing a lot of past relationships that way. Genuinely, there's only one I'd characterize as that- i was stressed out from my phd program and was absolutely terrible to be with, and I don't blame him for wanting out 🤷🏻‍♀️. He did support me (emotionally) through some heavy going, and I'll always be grateful. (Ofc he took his new wife on honeymoon to the place I'd wanted to go, so I'm not that enamored of him anymore 😂 - but we did have very much in common wrt to taste in travel, tv, etc). Oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @MsBizzyGurl
    @MsBizzyGurl Жыл бұрын

    If he pulls away, let him go.

  • @knolose1

    @knolose1

    Жыл бұрын

    Period

  • @gurjeetkaurballa8511

    @gurjeetkaurballa8511

    Жыл бұрын

    True that

  • @raffaellaricciardi8517

    @raffaellaricciardi8517

    Жыл бұрын

    🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @raf9ooo9a

    @raf9ooo9a

    Жыл бұрын

    👏👏👏👏

  • @name-wr2qg

    @name-wr2qg

    Жыл бұрын

    so what am i supposed to do when he comes back then

  • @lauraborgnolo
    @lauraborgnolo Жыл бұрын

    With the right person you can do nothing wrong and with the wrong person you can do nothing right. If he pulls away. Let him. Don't chase someone who does not appreciate you in the first place.

  • @flowerinherhair8195

    @flowerinherhair8195

    11 ай бұрын

    😂😂😂😂😂 Lol, so you can keep disrespecting him and he will stick around because he's "the right person" 😂😂😂😂😂 Are you like 15 years old? 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @cortezconquistador

    @cortezconquistador

    9 ай бұрын

    Gurllllllllllllllllllll you spoke a whole philosophy.

  • @chrissimpson6701

    @chrissimpson6701

    8 ай бұрын

    💯

  • @NS-qj6ws

    @NS-qj6ws

    8 ай бұрын

    You absolutely can do wrong with the right person...A LOT. Especially if the issue is YOU ;)

  • @kaztazable
    @kaztazable Жыл бұрын

    Lets be honest, vulnerability can be draining and you can't be like this with every guy who's hot and cold with you. It's just not healthy. You owe it to yourself to know when to leave the table when you don't agree with whats being served.

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    @vnnswilliamgmailcom6096

    Жыл бұрын

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  • @sharmishtasaha6178

    @sharmishtasaha6178

    Жыл бұрын

    True

  • @sflo4538

    @sflo4538

    Жыл бұрын

    Yes. Sometimes the connection isn't that strong and you let it go and no harm, no foul. But other times, you know you like each other alot and he's making excuses, so saying something is worth it because maybe, if he knew how you feel, he'd make more time. I think that's giving him and the situation the benefit of the doubt. He may not do anything about it, but at least you can walk away with no regrets that if you had done or said something, things may have been different.

  • @VIDEOHEREBOB

    @VIDEOHEREBOB

    Жыл бұрын

    Yes, but it's how you leave the table that counts to both of you. We're ghosting these days rather than appropriately saying goodbye.

  • @kaztazable

    @kaztazable

    Жыл бұрын

    @@VIDEOHEREBOB The comment wasn't on how to leave. Please read again and comprehend

  • Жыл бұрын

    Also, the wrong person won't pursue you no matter what you do. Simply because of perceived incompatibility or lack of attraction or a psychological issue on their part. Not every relationship has to work 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @OrnOrrina

    @OrnOrrina

    Жыл бұрын

    100000% agree on this!

  • @SMARTIN85

    @SMARTIN85

    Жыл бұрын

    Took me 4 years to figure this out.

  • @manalosman872

    @manalosman872

    Жыл бұрын

    THIS IS SUPER TRUE!

  • @wren5291

    @wren5291

    Жыл бұрын

    I just realised this a while ago. They're no longer worth my time and dedication. However, it will be a civilised and respectful good bye.

  • @foamybutt8646

    @foamybutt8646

    Жыл бұрын

    I think the wrong people can absolutely pursue you personally speaking

  • @kimasp7482
    @kimasp7482 Жыл бұрын

    It's ALL excuses! If they REALLY liked each other, the excuses would stop and they would BOTH MAKE time for each other.

  • @tinamicciolmt4987

    @tinamicciolmt4987

    Жыл бұрын

    Agree….game playing is not healthy

  • @uomario1247

    @uomario1247

    Жыл бұрын

    It’s easy to say, but those dumb actions come mainly from fear.

  • @sailor_mew4413

    @sailor_mew4413

    Жыл бұрын

    @@uomario1247 Agree, fear of how the other person might react. What if they will reject you? I usually play it "cool" and make jokes about being not really interested, just because I'm scared the other person might think I'm needy or pushy when I show my true feelings for them.

  • @ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy

    @ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy

    Жыл бұрын

    Yes, I agree that people would make time for each other. Years ago, it didn't seem like guys acted hot and cold in my dating world. Nowadays people seem to be more greedy, more superficial, want instant gratification (especially if they don't like their lives), and social media seems to have influenced this kind of behavior. People just seemed a little bit happier (and I think more trusting) before Facebook was invented. My ex had jealousy issues and behaved like our relationship was just a game. He became very possessive and controlling. So I guess you could say that he was hot and cold in his own way. He would be so happy and loving towards me, and then cold and emotionally abusive the next day. I don't even know if I will be ready for a relationship again.

  • @Arachne-qw1vr

    @Arachne-qw1vr

    Жыл бұрын

    It's been a month, their fine. Everybody has a different pace when they see each other

  • @leahkatrinacapistrano857
    @leahkatrinacapistrano8579 ай бұрын

    We don’t always have to just let go. Sometimes we have to make an effort and if they still don’t meet us where we want them to be then it’s time to give up and choose ourselves. ❤

  • @progresssena
    @progresssena Жыл бұрын

    The thing that i picked from the video is, if you are important to him, he will make the time for you else he will find an excuse, a woman making the extra effort devalues herself immediately

  • @TheHappiness1980
    @TheHappiness1980 Жыл бұрын

    If he pulls away , I will run away further in the opposite direction

  • @kathymargatines3450

    @kathymargatines3450

    Жыл бұрын

    Me too...I won't waste any second for him to hurt me .

  • @alishastudart8510

    @alishastudart8510

    Ай бұрын

    This is fearful avoidance

  • @22Steamboat
    @22Steamboat Жыл бұрын

    We live in a world of technology. No matter where we are in the world, we can connect. If you’re interested there is ALWAYS time for a text, phone call, FaceTime etc.

  • @NofyahShemTov

    @NofyahShemTov

    Жыл бұрын

    But long distance has a Time limit. Eventually, someone has to move

  • @NofyahShemTov

    @NofyahShemTov

    Жыл бұрын

    @@christiancameron3781 but it's still got an expiration date

  • @Natural_Infinity
    @Natural_Infinity Жыл бұрын

    Life is too fucking short to play dumb cat & mouse games with guys. I've dealt with guys like this who is unsure about me or about what he wants in general. Went for 2-3 great dates with future talk and all that shit but in the end he gets cold feet since it gets too real then decide to stay casual/friends with me because he's unsure if he's ready for serious relationship. I decided to moved on and now I'm in amazing relationship but this past dude still try to show up begging for me to come back / date him & gave him another chance. Told him that he had his chance and he blew it himself. I'm glad it happened because I'm happier than ever with my current relationship :) never stay with someone who isnt sure about being with you.

  • @Pollyk
    @Pollyk Жыл бұрын

    Being honest, for me can be hard to distinguish if I'm being vulnerable or needy. Saying "a little disapointed I did't hear from you" would be hard. I would probably pretend I didn't care he disapperead. Because in my mind, people find time when they want, so why insisting on someone who doesn't care that much? I would like to learn more about being vulnerable and assertive whithout feeling bad about myself.

  • @jacintahearn5586

    @jacintahearn5586

    Жыл бұрын

    Love this, I completely agree.. Love Matthew's perspective but also yours.

  • @KatalinaKristina

    @KatalinaKristina

    Жыл бұрын

    I also feel this. Like why force vulnerability from someone who ignored you the whole weekend? They had others plans that they tried not to purposely include you in. When usually a man messages only in the weekdays its because they're looking for an escape in their drab workplace. A spicy situationship to the mundane. Fuck that.

  • @jacintahearn5586

    @jacintahearn5586

    Жыл бұрын

    @@KatalinaKristina yes indeed..im more towards this perspective. Vulnerability is great to show but why with someone that clearly is not thinking of you and making time. If they really wanted to, they would

  • @simple4kill

    @simple4kill

    Жыл бұрын

    Exactly this. No matter how much they say they like me, if I get left on 'seen' more times I'd care to count, and not hear from them after I iniciated previous conversation and tried to keep it going, I do not believe they genuinely like me. Maybe visualy, but not _really_ . The only way I will be vulnerable is if you physically attack me.

  • @1101G12646

    @1101G12646

    Жыл бұрын

    At the end of the day, it depends on which person chooses to fold. I think vulnerability is a beautiful thing, not really a devaluating act. The guy also may be thinking the same way as you. It sucks, but I guess the idea is that a guy should always fold first 😆

  • @noazucar519
    @noazucar519 Жыл бұрын

    No one's THAT busy to not text at least once a day. I was literally working 8 hours every day and partying with my friends in a foreign country last week and I still managed to send a couple of texts a day.

  • @simorenes

    @simorenes

    Жыл бұрын

    Exactly!!

  • @QuietlyCurious

    @QuietlyCurious

    28 күн бұрын

    Everyone is always on their phone constantly. Spacing out texts is indeed a deliberate choice.

  • @morganwhite2176
    @morganwhite2176 Жыл бұрын

    I think thats great advice. Being vulnerable does not mean being weak, it means having the guts to actually say what you are looking for and if the other person doesnt reciprocate, then at least you didnt play games and were totally straight about it. Much easier to move on after that without wondering ‘what if’ because you said what you wanted to say.

  • @jem154

    @jem154

    Жыл бұрын

    The amount of painful situationships I have created because I have feared vulnerability! Urghhh! Men have feelings too, so me being withdrawn for fear of rejection after they've shown interest 🤦‍♀️ is MENTAL 🥴 Not any more. It's just a self fulfilling prophecy of not being good enough - and creating that! ✨️ remaining forthright and unattached to the outcome. Don't ask don't recieve, if answer is no at least we know. No blurred lines. Taken a lot of soul searching to get to this place in my psyche. May e it's an age thing. No more time to f#k about 😆

  • @altynaikurmanalieva2009

    @altynaikurmanalieva2009

    Жыл бұрын

    Being vulnerable only made myself a hero in my own eyes, but it never brought me any results. I always tried to be honest and vulnerable, and it actually scares guys. They are scared of a strong person, stronger than them. Last time I dated guy he throw me into situationship because of his insecurities and I couldn't handle anymore, so I just blame him straight to his face, how dirty it was to say and act like interested and after he caught my attention just throwing like that bullshit. I think we have to stop being too nice and actually hold people accountable for their actions and words.

  • @morganwhite2176

    @morganwhite2176

    Жыл бұрын

    @@altynaikurmanalieva2009 I agree with you but when we meet the right one, vulnerability is good. I think thats how, for me anyway, I measure if I am with the right people, If a guy acted put off by honesty and vulnerability, I would just move on but I never changed my softness because then the right guy would suffer and miss out on that. Stay true to who you are, but just don’t give your time to men who are idiots, and not ready to be serious. I think a lot of them pretend to be better than they are, just move on, but don’t let them change you XxXx

  • @user-pk5pl7ox1e
    @user-pk5pl7ox1e Жыл бұрын

    When he asks me questions, I tell him I'd love for him to ask me over the call. It's up to him now because in his court! I've had enough of texting! BORING!

  • @soumighosh5736
    @soumighosh5736 Жыл бұрын

    If he pulls away, stay away from him and let him live his life

  • @natalieh8023
    @natalieh802310 ай бұрын

    This my very personal opinion but I feel like if it’s the right person you’ll know right away it’s who you want to be in a relationship. You won’t go through all of these ups and downs in the beginning or feel like you have to follow these ‘steps’ so to speak for it to evolve into a relationship. You know when you know as my mom likes to say.

  • @originalgoldengoddess
    @originalgoldengoddess Жыл бұрын

    I'm genuinely not looking for a relationship... but if I happen to meet someone that I feel is a great match for me and worth giving a chance to then I would definitely consider it. Actively looking for a relationship is one of the most draining things in the world

  • @altynaikurmanalieva2009
    @altynaikurmanalieva2009 Жыл бұрын

    I had been honest and vulnerable and showed my needs confidently for past 2 years . Only I've got as a result guys actually throwing me into situationships, and me just thanking them and leaving. I am done dating, from now on I decided just live my life. Honestly I am tired and I don't believe that anyone can actually be serious with me. I gave up dating at age 30. So sad.

  • @solarqueen2555

    @solarqueen2555

    Жыл бұрын

    Girl honestly same. I am stable on my own, mentally and financially so it's fine. But the number of situationships these days is insane!

  • @Nah-ah
    @Nah-ah Жыл бұрын

    I personally don’t think the guy is interested. She should either keep it casual or break it off, period. Why remind yourself every other week/month (when you see him) “this is not going anywhere.” ?

  • @AllUserNamesAreUsed
    @AllUserNamesAreUsed Жыл бұрын

    If they didn't contact us on the weekend than show up come Monday its because they were with someone else over the weekend. They know we were disappointed. It's boosts their ego to hear us say it but they don't actually care or they would've reached out.

  • @Rozie32

    @Rozie32

    3 күн бұрын

    You are right 😂

  • @riddlen71
    @riddlen71 Жыл бұрын

    I am in this in-between stage right now. I patiently wait for the guy I really like to reach out again and then I let him know how glad I am to hear from him (positive praise instead of a shaming tone). However, I only wait a couple days to hear from a guy! If he’s blown me off for a several days or not set up another date, I’m clearly not important in his mind. So,…he’s out. I won’t stop dating other guys until he’s approached the idea that he wants to be exclusive. Otherwise, I’m still free, waiting for the right guy to see what he has.

  • @janejetson748

    @janejetson748

    Жыл бұрын

    This is a perfect response, to me.

  • @osagieafe2938

    @osagieafe2938

    6 ай бұрын

    This approach seems little passive, b/c your waiting on the guy to do leg work

  • @11cacoo

    @11cacoo

    3 ай бұрын

    as a guy, if a girl is dating multiple men thats a serious red flag. you think its efficient but its not because all of those guys will not take you seriously if they know there are other guys in your life.

  • @arankagionetti2098
    @arankagionetti209810 ай бұрын

    When he's pulling a way give hime a huge push!!!

  • @DJEhizTips

    @DJEhizTips

    6 ай бұрын

    Hahahaha

  • @RiceSnow777
    @RiceSnow777 Жыл бұрын

    If he’d wanted to, he would.

  • @okashi10
    @okashi10 Жыл бұрын

    You make such a good point in this video: when people adopt someone else's excuses to describe the situation. It can lead to letting someone get away with all sorts of things... not just being distant, but even more harmful things. One of my friends was dating a guy who told her "I want to keep our relationship a secret to protect it" and she adopted that like "oh our relationship is so new and people might judge so WE'RE keeping it private." But what that really led to was him isolating her from her friends and support networks, and cheating on her with 5 other girls (many of whom also thought they were just "keeping their relationship private").

  • @latani21
    @latani2110 ай бұрын

    Don't be vulnerable with a person who is just not there for you. Your instincts is telling You already, this is not the one. Hear it. I am not with you in this one Matthew. I can be only vulnerable with someone who dares to asks...what is going on with me. If u push me away, I give you tw same energy back. If you ask, I will say the truth.

  • @Inca1122
    @Inca1122 Жыл бұрын

    Oh Matthew, you are a Godsend. I had this exact situation come up this morning and I didn't know how to reply without sounding "needy" or a "doormat" OR ghosting because I wanted to "show him". This helps me reply with respect for myself and what I want and put me in the drivers seat over my needs.

  • @sanna1984

    @sanna1984

    5 ай бұрын

    How did it go?

  • @starcharx9139
    @starcharx9139 Жыл бұрын

    We were texting for two months and he just stopped communication. He eventually asked me out on a date weeks before but always flaked when it came to actually planning and kept saying we would meet up one day. One day I had enough and just texted asking if anything is going to progress past the talking stage and he has not replied. I can see now he was just stringing me along.

  • @daniellehenecia_dprdreamers06
    @daniellehenecia_dprdreamers06 Жыл бұрын

    If that guy was interested in the woman they would of made her a priority not an option. Dating is hard enough without having someone that they think you aren't important or enough for them. Thank you Matthew for your always honest insights to dating and relationships. Another stellar video! 🙌🙌👏👏👏

  • @pinkroses135
    @pinkroses135 Жыл бұрын

    Being vulnerable with someone emotionally unavailable sounds like a bad idea and trying to get him to see your humanity is also a huge red flag. Men prioritize what they want like crazy. No "making" a chase required. He doesn't care. Be honest with yourself and move along.

  • @CiaobellaAmour

    @CiaobellaAmour

    Жыл бұрын

    Facts! Learned this lesson the hard way....

  • @deem4690

    @deem4690

    Жыл бұрын

    Facts love you Matthew but maybe do a long video on em unavailable men

  • @jinnms6639
    @jinnms6639 Жыл бұрын

    The exact same thing happened to me, his schedule is too packed and he said “it makes me miss you more when I talk to you” so he said he couldn’t talk as much as usual, and we already down to only talk once a week. Total bs😂

  • @gigig2345
    @gigig2345 Жыл бұрын

    men hate to hear the word disappointed and will see you as desperate

  • @elep4043
    @elep4043 Жыл бұрын

    We in a Wild West dating scene, Matthew. We’ve been vulnerable with men as many times as we got hurt. We tried it all.

  • @kristir1262
    @kristir1262 Жыл бұрын

    Wow. It's kindda mind-blowing that someone has the exact same issue as i do, at the same time. My one and a half month guy has been very disinterested lately, and no communication for bit over a week. He was genuinely busy (we work in different units of same entity)... But that doesn't mean i forgive and forget all the tears i cried 😑. Something needs to change. Peace to all ✌️

  • @iammorrissey

    @iammorrissey

    Жыл бұрын

    One whole week and no communication means waste of time, investingin waiting will highly likely bring nothing.

  • @boglarkatoth102
    @boglarkatoth102 Жыл бұрын

    I loved the fact that you're giving templates of how some messages can be phrased! It actually makes me realize that sometimes when using such messages, I was gaslighted into thinking that my message was too much but seeing such a message from you makes me realize that I drew the wrong conclusion. There was nothing wrong with the message, all I had to do was to realize that the person I sent it to was not someone I was compatible with.

  • @Tamarindgyal
    @Tamarindgyal Жыл бұрын

    Met a guy, he was only interested in one thing, we discussed it. After I clearly thought about the fact that that doesn’t reconciled with my needs, I stopped and remained friends. Super crushing approach, like going cold turkey!!! Brutal. But it had to be done, everyone gets to choose, he also has that right and I need to accept it without attitude.

  • @soul-etude
    @soul-etude Жыл бұрын

    A very powerful video Matthew. Thank you! I have now discovered the "we concept", that you unmasked that truly interferes quite often with the new relationship where "we" is not actually yet even established. Your videos have helped me much to express myself sincerely and openly. And oh my God, it gives me so much strength and confidence. Saying what you feel is such a force to reckon with! And you are so right that it makes us more human. Thanks a lot!

  • @lizf2610
    @lizf2610 Жыл бұрын

    Your advice is always so comforting and reassuring while simultaneously being so helpful

  • @mimi7914
    @mimi7914 Жыл бұрын

    Excellent point!!!!! I think too it is SO difficult to locate/find someone that we have feelings for in the first place so that when it does happen we make excuses and close our eyes to red flags unfortunately.

  • @tasrajwani
    @tasrajwani Жыл бұрын

    I love the vulnerability filter breakdown! Brilliant! I should do this more with my self- admitting to what I really feel and want, unapologetically.

  • @roser8911
    @roser8911 Жыл бұрын

    I was begging last year because he dumped me and blocked my number. He unblocked me on 9/27/2021. And he showed up at my new gym on 12/14/2021 and he started to chase me again. He was like “hey how are you? Can I work out here with you? I said “hey it’s good to see you, I’ll talk to you later”, and I never went back to that gym. So recently back in 8/4/2022.. he showed up at my new gym again and I acted cold to him. He regret losing me 😂…

  • @madeleinedoyle1790

    @madeleinedoyle1790

    Жыл бұрын

    Way to take your power back! Brava!

  • @SonuSharma-ch9mh

    @SonuSharma-ch9mh

    Жыл бұрын

    My ex tried to reachout recently after a year i didn't look back.

  • @Berserker793

    @Berserker793

    Жыл бұрын

    Good. A man should never look back, only forward.

  • @lovingloyallibra432

    @lovingloyallibra432

    Жыл бұрын

    Rose R, They always come back after you have moved on and got over them and they always regret losing you after they were mean and mistreat you, when they find out the grass wasn’t as green as they thought with the other person they dumped you for… I have been there before… It is definitely a hard struggle when you really like a person but your story will inspire someone else… I am proud of you… #GirlPower💕💕

  • @boomerangsruckflug8513

    @boomerangsruckflug8513

    Жыл бұрын

    Best reaction ever! Meaning kick idiots out of your life asap leads you one step closer to the right man!

  • @naturejelisabeth
    @naturejelisabeth Жыл бұрын

    Thank you 4 sharing, what I really like about what you teach is, that it is so respectful and about underlying values!🌸I suggest your channel a lot to people, who are unhappy in their love life!👍🏻

  • @do.s.8875
    @do.s.8875 Жыл бұрын

    IMO If someone disappears during weekend it means he is in some relationship or mariage... Single person is available during weekends or at least keep in touch but definitely doesn't disappear completely.

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 Жыл бұрын

    Your videos help me feel safe to face my vulnerability. You’re always so warm and gentle and it helps. Thank you so much.

  • @MadameJohnnyDepp
    @MadameJohnnyDepp Жыл бұрын

    I ❤️ how he shows the actual Text example. I hope Matthew shows more videos with text examples

  • @jessicaappel538
    @jessicaappel538 Жыл бұрын

    The fact that Audrey is in the thumbnail makes my heart so happy! Love seeing your relationship unfold in those little ways ❤

  • @themystical3282
    @themystical3282 Жыл бұрын

    Matthew you are such a down to earth, kind and sweet man. I hope you've had a great start for 2023! :) May your creativity expands as well as your willingness to help people out there.

  • @nishaniahangama308
    @nishaniahangama308 Жыл бұрын

    He always talk on to the point no BS . Thank you Mathew for educating us

  • @haileypoulton708
    @haileypoulton708 Жыл бұрын

    I’m in a similar situation right now and I’ve been wanting to talk to him about it. This is a great way to ease into that. Thanks Matt!

  • @greek1834
    @greek1834 Жыл бұрын

    I decided to pull away because she would never text first or take days to respond even though she would watch my stories and still not respond after I texted to make plans. It’s unfortunate cause the 2 dates we went on were great and the chemistry was definitely there. Instead of just communicating effectively we just resort to ghosting in this day in age. This whole situation really messed with my mental state. I know my worth and I’m definitely worth more than this. My questions is: Should I remove her from social media?

  • @sflo4538

    @sflo4538

    Жыл бұрын

    I would maybe try to unfollow her or block her stories or from her seeing yours but not remove her completely.

  • @Keshitabg

    @Keshitabg

    Жыл бұрын

    Ive been in your situation and its horribly painful

  • @chuckie826

    @chuckie826

    Жыл бұрын

    No response is the response Period

  • @elaisja

    @elaisja

    Жыл бұрын

    It’s YOUR social media. Do whatever brings you peace. If you want to keep open communication for the future, then maybe just block her from viewing your stories. She might wonder what happened to you. But if you don’t care to speak to her again, just remove her altogether. Whichever brings you peace.

  • @lmvdam

    @lmvdam

    Жыл бұрын

    If its difficult for you too see her stories/posts u can limit what u see from the profile without unfollowing

  • @lisaholm9710
    @lisaholm9710 Жыл бұрын

    You are helping me so much. I'm in the middle of all of this and feeling very vulnerable.

  • @nursesam1740
    @nursesam1740 Жыл бұрын

    MATTHEW HUSSEY has done it again! I love hearing content in many different facets because it helps reiterate standards and allows that vulnerability to come through early on so that time isn’t wasted. You constantly reaffirm to establish that we have a great time and a great life apart from the relationship we are starting or are currently in. This allows established ways we can be bold which prevents sooo much time being wasted. Feel more high value in the last two years than Im my whole life. Thank you!

  • @tanjailic4457
    @tanjailic4457 Жыл бұрын

    Your videos are getting better and better all the time.. you are building the story the right way, you are funny, intelligent and you really care, it shows, thank you very much for your effort

  • @btdtpro
    @btdtpro Жыл бұрын

    I feel like a keyword in this is "deepen" a relationship. Deepen could mean a lot of things, but I bet the translation is, "get more commitment or buy-in from the other person." I could maybe even be put, "I like the feelings this guy has brought to my life. The feelings of excitement for what could be. The feeling of being desired, of romance, of being sought after, of my positive traits being recognized. In fact I've already formed a bit of an addiction to these feelings, and this makes me worry about losing access to this drug. How do I get the supply to sign an exclusivity contract? When he's doesn't seem to be trying to sign one with me" If you want to deepen any other relationships in your life, family relationships. co-workers, friends, etc, no one thinks of exclusivity commitment. They think of having deeper, more honest, and personal conversations, or sharing experiences, trying each other's hobbies, etc. I've had several relationships where I noticed pretty early on, the women were really pushing for commitment. I have no problem with commitment, but my focus is always, what I would consider the truer meaning of deepening a relationship, actually getting to know each other. I know Matthew has to keep the solution kind of nonspecific, so many people might be able to use it, but for me, the solution kind of feels inorganic. To me the issue wouldn't be her just not hearing from him, but him taking a long time to reply, since it would be weird if she was disappointed not to hear from him, if he was the last one to text. So what did she text him that he hadn't replied to? Ideally if they want this to go somewhere and have been texting for a month and a half, they're talking about deeper interests than just wondering what happened that weekend. Is he working on a project for work? Is he stressed or excited about it? What is happening with him and his family relationships, friendship relationships, hobbies, etc. With one woman I dated, who I really got along well with, at any given point we had at least two text conversations going on at the same time between us, because we had so many topics of interest between us. We'd be talking about work, books and shows, articles we'd read, things happening with us and our friends, our ideas and goals, all shooting back and forth. We never had to wonder about deepening the relationship, we just were. So to me it's less about how to hear from someone more, but instead more about why the topics of conversation aren't causing engaged responses. Letting someone know you're disappointed they didn't do something, might make them do it more, but my preferred way is to increase their excitement to do it. It's almost like sex. Let's say you text a guy you'd been dating for a while and have had sex with, and say, "Loved our time together this weekend", and he replies, "Me too, a little disappointed we didn't have sex though". Does learning you disappointed him, arouse a desire for sex with him? or does it kind of turn you off? I mean, there's either a reason you didn't have sex, like you'd had a fight or something, or him wanting to have sex that weekend was news to you, in which you're thinking, "well you could have given me a snuggle or kissed me on the neck or something. Something to show me what you wanted while exciting me to match your state of desire." Conversation is the same. "Hey, how was your weekend?" reply, "I had an amazing weekend! I'm excited to hear from you, I've been dying to know how (the big pitch), (your hiking trip), (the talk with your dad), went. Side note, if after he tells you how X thing went, he doesn't then ask you something, "but tell me what happened in your amazing weekend", or follow up on some previous conversation point from earlier texts.. or both; then dump his poor conversation skills have’n ass. If you have to carry the conversation alone, guess how much help you'll be getting from him if you're ever carrying his baby.

  • @thehealingfairee

    @thehealingfairee

    Жыл бұрын

    This was all beautifully said!

  • @NorAin303

    @NorAin303

    Жыл бұрын

    Whoa, this makes so much sense. Thank you for putting them into words!

  • @carly8056

    @carly8056

    Жыл бұрын

    Top comment. You could make your own video and give Matthew a run for his money on this subject. 🔥🔥🔥

  • @btdtpro

    @btdtpro

    Жыл бұрын

    @@carly8056 Thank you! I really appreciate your affirmation. I should say though, I've been watching Matthew's content for close to seven years, I believe. I've got to give him credit in helping me in my formulating of thoughts and words on topics like this.

  • @btdtpro

    @btdtpro

    Жыл бұрын

    @@thehealingfairee Thank you!

  • @EDA_OFFICIAL_1
    @EDA_OFFICIAL_1 Жыл бұрын

    Really loving this, great work Matthew

  • @casperinsight3524
    @casperinsight3524 Жыл бұрын

    Effective communication will make or break a relationship. TY for keeping it real with your words of wisdom ~ Much Appreciated 😎😘

  • @lillyhu7399
    @lillyhu7399 Жыл бұрын

    It is supposed to be like a best friend, you catch up where you were last time, no matter how much time has passed. You use the schedule to feed the relationship.

  • @clissandre8681
    @clissandre8681 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you Matthew a lot for the free chapter and this video. I haven't had the feeling that I was agressive but I speak out straightforward when I want to communicate. I think it will be better To use your method

  • @bnb0510
    @bnb0510 Жыл бұрын

    I just don’t understand why people, women in particular put up with this stuff. If he’s telling you your schedule is too busy, you travel to much, your job, blah blah then he’s just not that interested. Period! Thank you next!

  • @purpledoodle06
    @purpledoodle06 Жыл бұрын

    Wow I literally did this last night, glad to have reassurance that what I did was right 😊 you’re right, I’m someone who wants a real relationship, so I have to own up to it, so I can communicate my standards and boundaries

  • @familypfya
    @familypfya Жыл бұрын

    That was me for 1 year and a half. You helped me let this person go and also move on…

  • @carneliaOT
    @carneliaOT Жыл бұрын

    Such a timely video for me. Thank you!

  • @sarapowell46
    @sarapowell46 Жыл бұрын

    I LOVED this video! So insightful and practical. Thank you!

  • @siuzannavyshneva6312
    @siuzannavyshneva6312 Жыл бұрын

    That was beautifully genuine and meaty! Huge thanks!

  • @IIISincerelyIII
    @IIISincerelyIII Жыл бұрын

    All teaching aside. Matthew, how do you remain to never age. i'm 26 now and i've been watching you since i was 12 years old. i just thought that was insane. i can tell you're a man that definitely loves himself and definitely cares for his body on a daily. just a compliment. lovely teaching and thank you for the videos. ❤

  • @karanprashantsaxena7408
    @karanprashantsaxena7408 Жыл бұрын

    Hi Matthew, I know your channel and program are mostly for women, but I have recently been going through quite a painful rejection - and your videos has been helping me a lot. Thanks, cheers.

  • @pinkroses135
    @pinkroses135 Жыл бұрын

    She may hurt now but boy will she be hurting 10 years down the road if this continues

  • @ayonalovecoaching
    @ayonalovecoaching Жыл бұрын

    Such a quality video, I admire your work ethic Matthew. Beautiful masculine energy. Feels really good to watch.

  • @yejinlee4641
    @yejinlee4641 Жыл бұрын

    This is truly amazing, so much to learn and I can't wait to put these things in my situation immediately!! Thank you Matthew

  • @julanre3160
    @julanre3160 Жыл бұрын

    Amen Amen Amen to this. So excellently stated. 💝

  • @0Enidan0
    @0Enidan0 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this video, Matthew. Being vulnerable takes courage--the courage to risk being hurt again and again. But, I do believe that without a risk, there is no reward. Vulnerability creates the opportunity for great victory in relationships--for something real to be cultivated. This video really validated a recent experience I had. I remembered your advice about putting myself out there, and even though the relationship didn't end up where I wanted it to go, I am proud of myself for owning my needs and "keeping my side of the street clean." Would eventually love to see more content from you on relationship advice that moves past the initial stages. Thanks for all you do.

  • @nicolesuarezvargas5644
    @nicolesuarezvargas5644 Жыл бұрын

    Amazing video Matt, just what i needed to hear!! Thank you for your work, i appreciate it so much! 🙏👍💕

  • @rebecca4958
    @rebecca49585 ай бұрын

    Thank you Matt for all you post. The pattern I wish to change and release is the need to people please and then feel guilty if I do not. I need to release the guilt and that doing things for myself and not others is not selfish 🤗❤️😊

  • @jenniferknippenberg9554
    @jenniferknippenberg9554 Жыл бұрын

    Omg! Thank you Matthew! I wish I had heard this information 9 months ago.

  • @jenniferward1557
    @jenniferward1557 Жыл бұрын

    Amen Matthew. Love your deep decernment

  • @indrajukame
    @indrajukame Жыл бұрын

    This is books. The real life is quite different. Not all of men are as intelligent to understand this message and to respect that. Actually, the largest part aren't. My longlasting relationship started totally off the bookshelf advices and it lasts. The previous ones when I tried to listen to different coaches- didn't last.

  • @mariagi97
    @mariagi97 Жыл бұрын

    Hey Matthew! Another lovely video of yours! Could you PLEASE make a video discussing "is he shy or not interested?" I am sure quite a lot of ladies have been troubled by this question.

  • @cintalopez-teijeiro5683
    @cintalopez-teijeiro5683 Жыл бұрын

    Not the subject but I love your English! Not my mother lenguage so I really love when someone talks as clear/neat as you. Thanks for It.

  • @daraevdokimova2836
    @daraevdokimova2836 Жыл бұрын

    jeez this is a bullet right in my head... why I keep getting in these relationships

  • @MariaK222
    @MariaK222 Жыл бұрын

    You always make time for the things that are important to you! :)

  • @mundea
    @mundea Жыл бұрын

    loving the new thumbnails, big ups Jamerson

  • @jojkavargova6704
    @jojkavargova67045 ай бұрын

    Amazing, this is hard enough as we are scared to be judged nowadays only because we clearly say what our desires are. ❤❤thank you Matthew 🙌

  • @shielacaasi3139
    @shielacaasi3139 Жыл бұрын

    Captivated by your insights. Wonderful advice. You made me a subscriber😊. Looking forward to hearing more.

  • @angalmeida29
    @angalmeida29 Жыл бұрын

    You are just brilliant Matthew ! Thank you for this

  • @mendycgrace804
    @mendycgrace804 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for this.

  • @lja530
    @lja530 Жыл бұрын

    I love how you get so rant-y at the end.

  • @kailashbtw9103
    @kailashbtw9103 Жыл бұрын

    such good advice! it makes so much sense now...

  • @boomerangsruckflug8513
    @boomerangsruckflug8513 Жыл бұрын

    And what expect? Do we really think, we'll get an intensive love in return from a guy who's already in the beginning not really interested??!

  • @CiaobellaAmour

    @CiaobellaAmour

    Жыл бұрын

    All these videos online telling women on what to do to gain the guy's attention,get him to chase etc ....like that's a whole lot of work

  • @fiberisacarb9877

    @fiberisacarb9877

    Жыл бұрын

    Exactly

  • @reganhill5510
    @reganhill5510 Жыл бұрын

    Awesome video!!

  • @SlippyLu
    @SlippyLu Жыл бұрын

    Aaaah that Zen guy... Thanks!!

  • @amandafelton1516
    @amandafelton1516 Жыл бұрын

    Yes M. I agree.

  • @IamwhoIam333
    @IamwhoIam333 Жыл бұрын

    I have my first long distance relationship and he does have a busy schedule. So we text alot. I don't make any demands. I tell him about my day, I try to share cute personal stories so he can get to know me. If I don't hear back I don't stop telling him me and my day. I don't stop living my life because of this relationship. If he makes a demand or negative remark I turn his statement right back at him. If he responds like a child I ask him how old he is; that I don't want a relationship with a child or anyone who can't stand on there own two feet. I will get the silent treatment sometimes but I don't react to it. I either trust him or I don't. So whatever he wants to do with his anger is up to him. It's his, he owns it.

  • @IamwhoIam333

    @IamwhoIam333

    Жыл бұрын

    Done

  • @cryscris

    @cryscris

    Жыл бұрын

    I don't do 'silent treatments' at all. That shows your communication skills are below par. Making demands are dealbreakers as well because that can evolve to manipulation and being emotionally abusive. I can't trust someone like that and if I can't trust you I can't be with you. I'd exit stage left.

  • @vjcarter4657
    @vjcarter4657 Жыл бұрын

    I’m glad I show my humanity.

  • @christabelemojevu
    @christabelemojevu Жыл бұрын

    This video is everything 😩

  • @stefycute6792
    @stefycute6792 Жыл бұрын

    A good way to show vulnerability. I hope you post more of this.

  • @archgonz9204
    @archgonz9204 Жыл бұрын

    Your contents are awesome❤

  • @chelseamassaro3185
    @chelseamassaro3185 Жыл бұрын

    Love you, Matthew ❤

  • @user-sw4ze1jr4z
    @user-sw4ze1jr4z10 ай бұрын

    Agreed, Matthew.

  • @annam8515
    @annam8515 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you, learn so much

  • @legacy1407
    @legacy140711 ай бұрын

    yea witch one