If you build a very nice and firm relationship with him, where he can trust you for real (which you probably do already, you dont seem to be an abusive/neglectful parent at all), he will always open up to you if something happens when you are not around. You can seek videos on the matter and get advice from professionals, but if you are a true friend to your son, he will open up. Always reassure him that he can trust you, and dont pressure him or curse him if he tells you something you might not like one day, just talk to him and try to understand what goes on in his mind, and guide him if you feel its needed

@tikusblue

Жыл бұрын

Yes I agree. You can't save your child from experiencing painful and difficult things in the world sadly. All a parent can really do is to give their child a safe and loving foundation. Making their child feel that their mother will be there to comfort them and help them through it, no matter what happens.

@nancie7487

Жыл бұрын

Tai Chi teach your child this. I taught my daughter Tai chi, and no one messed with her. Sorry, it might be spelled wrong. It's really easy for a child to learn right away. It does not take years.

I myself was bullied for 4 years by my classmates, no particular reason they just decided they didn’t like me. I genuinely believe that people who have suffered from bullying are the strongest people out there, thank you for sharing your story 💖, you are loved

I understand. I was bullied once in jr. high. A group of girls was making fun of how I dressed (because I was poor, I wore the same outfit every day). I ignored their comments. Even though they never bullied me again because I didn't respond to their attacks, deep inside, I felt hurt and ashamed.

So sorry you went through that Yumi. I think you can't prevent your son from being bullied, but just by being such a loving mother you will be able to help him through it if it does happen. And he will be ok.

Thank you for sharing your story Yumi. I can totally relate, I don't have memories where my classmates didn't bully me. It started very soon in my life and lasted almost highschool (since 7/8 to 15 years old). They always insulted me for being fat because I've always been bigger than other girls and they made fun of me for my body, then for being shy. When I grew up a little they bullied me for being poor, my mom cannot pay my tuition so I changed school, when my new classmates bullied me again. One of the girls was so aggressive that she punched me several times. In my teenage the bullying changed to just ignoring me at all costs. So I know how it is, I can feel why you are struggling with this feels about your son. But you're a dedicated mother and he will trust you and be brave, he will stand and defense himself. Send you love to you. And thanks for reading to everyone who did it. We are not alone now, we can be the adults that we needed as a child.💕

Someone who tells you ugly she is just projecting her own ugly character. Whereas you , yumi u r a nice girl n be the way u r. Don't change for others.

Children can be very mean. No filter.

In a larger daycare he will be grouped with kids his own age, and those in charge should be attentive and not let him be bullied or harmed. Thoroughly check reviews, try to get referrals from friends, and visit a few places before deciding. I would be concerned about those things as well, but I think he’ll do great. He’ll make lots of friends. 🥰

Yumi, I understand you're worried and want to protect your son. Kids are cruel, it's just a fact. Everyone faces this kind of thing at some point, and it's better for him to be socialized and prepared for it early so he's not shocked or frozen by it when you aren't there to defend him in daycare or school. No one can avoid being hurt. Everyone experiences something that destroys their confidence when they are young, even the most sheltered and privileged children. Your son will learn from these experiences as they happen and will build his confidence back up the way everyone else does. Try working on building up your own confidence and set a good example for him and build a trusting relationship. Kids pick up the attitude and confidence of their parents. If we are too emotionally reactive and worrying, our children will grow up to be worried and anxious, as well. This will be perceived by other kids as weakness, and they will be more likely to be targeted. Teach your son that he is his own person and is capable of being in the world without you hovering behind him and always ready to intervene and become emotionally reactive to what other kids do/say. Also: try not to make a habit of being directly confrontational with other people (e.g., your neighbors with the smoking problem, or other parents in public spaces) regarding your son unless it's absolutely necessary. This may embarrass him in the future and lead to more bullying, and he may avoid telling you about it as a result. Good luck with everything!

Honestly it's impossible to keep every bad thing away from your child forever, including harsh words. Sometime kids are just rude and insensitive, same with adults, except kids don't always know better. Of course there are things you can do to help keep those things to a minimum, like talking to the teachers or daycare workers about your concerns, mention he may need extra attention if he doesn't have the ability to speak up yet, and just discuss with them about ways to keep him safe and well cared for. But really the best thing you can do is just to be there for him as a guide to help him navigate through life's challenges. Let them know that they are loved and that you will always hear them out no matter what happens, and that they can open up to you or their teachers so that if anything ever does happen so that they will know they shouldn't be treated that way and seek out help if they feel unsafe in any way. Your son is very young so obviously he will not always understand what is going on or how to respond to certain situations, so it's a good idea to just have chats with your son the best you can about how he should or should not be treated, like if someone pushes him, to tell them to stop or go get help, etc. You can be there for him the best you can, but sometimes things will happen, they might fall down every now and then, but the important thing is not to prevent them from ever falling down, but teaching them how to get back up and motivate them keep going, knowing that they are loved and cared by their precious mama. That being said, please encourage him to seek out friendships and surround himself with kind people, and to be kind to others, and have fun, because when you have friends it really builds up your confidence and helps you get through tough times :)

Thanks for sharing Yumi, it's very hard to talk about stuff like this, I really admire you, in my eyes, you are one of the best persons I know, talented, smart and loving, not to mention your great sense of style and beauty that reflects in everything you do and are, I wish one day to be a great mother like you, that always loves and tries to make the world a safer place for her child.

I understand how you feel I was bullied from elementary school up until mid high school. My confidence dropped so bad and it didn't help either the sport I was in, that enjoyed, my mom took me out just cause I didn't understand what all star was, I was like 6 so of course. Now that I have my own kids I worry everyday how their time in school would be. My first born will be starting preschool this year and I'm scared but excited lol. I just hope I'll be a better parent than what my mom was to me when it came to bullying. She didn't start advocating for me until the damage was done, and I stopped telling her about it.

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you Yumi! I was also bullied because of my chubbiness and weight at school. It's not fair and it's cruel of children to do. U pray that your son doesn't get bullied, and instead he makes a loy of friends and precious memories in his childhood. I would love to hear more stories from your life Yumi. Thank you for sharing something personal with us. ❤

Raise your son to stick up for and defend himself!!! Self defense classes or martial arts. You can’t protect your children against bullies sometimes but if you teach him to stand up for himself he will be ok.

I'm sorry you were bullied, there's no doubt there are some mean kids but you can't hold your son back because of what you went through. I know it's scary, all of us mothers are a bit afraid when they have to send their kids out into the world. But he needs to be around other kids and learn. It sucks but we cannot protect them forever. I wish you all the luck

Thank you for sharing!

Hi Yumi, I can relate to being bullied in school they are insecure, just have to ignore them.

from AhaParenting: "Early school (and two years old is early developmentally) can even be a risk factor, because it asks so much of kids. We don't see this because we don't want to see it, but many two year olds who start school begin compensating for the stress in other ways -- they regress, they hit their little siblings, they have bad dreams, they get more clingy."

Your perfect 🥰 kids are just mean

U will have to teach ur son how to stand up for himself n ignore people….especially if u r living in the city.

🥰🥰🥰🥰

We pass on our traumas to our children. You can and will, learn together. ❤

I wish there were better rules in daycare.

Wow that’s horrible. Was this in China? I noticed they will tell you if your even slightly overweight. She was just jealous because you are nice easy target. I was so depressed when I was 10, school is not easy.

Just be in the moment, Stop projecting your negative experience on the baby. Thinking that what you had experience will happen to your child. Enjoy your baby by creating positivity. Your experience is very unfortunate being bully by a insecure nasty girl. I was bullied when I was young at school. I had to hide in the toilet every break time to avoid my tormentor. It was physical and verbal. This is in the 70s in England. I was nine years old . It was very unpleasant. Especially I cannot speak English very well. I came from Hong Kong. You need to move on. Cultivate ,and nurture positivity, goodness, there is always unkind people in this world, the best thing todo is be in the here and now.

This is why I hate school cause they have bullies in my old primary school and secondary high school!!!! Kids just being mean nowdays....

Maybe she was jealous. That sucks that you got bullied.

Here's the thing love. Listen up everybody makes fun of everybody. I was put into ballet at 3 years old and by 5 I was in gymnastics. I have eller's Dan Lewis syndrome connective tissue disorder I'm hypermobile. I was rolling my ankles. The doctor said she can speak and understand things fine put her in ballet. It will strengthen the muscles she needs. By the time I made it to school.. I had a six pack. I was the tiniest kid in my class. I got called hypercolor. Cuz at the start of the year I would be extremely tan.. and by spring I would be pale... I also got called thunder thighs. I was a little kid.. I would laugh at them and say okay can you do this? And do a back handspring walk over. Or do a skip and a round off. That's a cartwheel without your hands.. I was the only girl that could climb the rope. I had muscles. I had a six pack.. This was all the way through school.. And I found out that the girls were jealous. You may think oh it's because of what was cool. No. People are mean to people that they're jealous of.. And no matter what people push for drama. Which is ridiculous. When you speak of your little one getting trauma. I can see a child biting him or hurting him. But mental trauma from a boy picking on him. Darling that's how we build character.. A boy that had never been picked on.. stands at the park one day and starts bawling his eyes out and gets picked on even more. You have to have a little thick skin to give back in life.. here's where you can teach your son confidence. That it doesn't matter what other people say.. You let him know people may pick on you. My mom would say. Water off a duck's back. Float don't flounder. Shake it off.. leave their negativity with them.. We don't accept what does not serve us.. She also told me.. And I tell people this all the time. Your will is your way. Wherever your will is there is your way.. anything conceivable by your mind is possible.. The only one that stands in our way is ourselves.. Don't overthink don't over contemplate.. go with your heart. Be kind. Be honest.. And have fun. Don't allow others to ever discredit you. You don't have to accept what they're giving out.. And this was so sweet. Always be the weeping willow for her branches way with the wind Never snapping with the storms of life... Take heed a willow's strength comes from the roots up. It will not grow where there is no water. Thinking its roots deep into the earth. Taking hold to weather any storm of life. A farmer was able to finish that story off for me... When you say about a person picking on him. That's going to happen no matter what you cannot shelter your child from that... You know it's so funny. My mom was right. Many of the kids and girls that made fun of me were jealous.. And I never allowed their ignorance to bother me. I made more friends that way. I always stuck up for the underdog.. I stood up for individuals even if they were rude to me. I'm an honest friend and if you ask me to hold a secret it will be ours to keep. And throughout the years the people that picked on me became very close to me. Because I never let it hurt me. And I walked with confidence. And truly I had a lot of fun just like my mom told me to. I think finding a religious preschool/day care will be better up your alley. They are very strict on watching the children making sure everyone's happy and not picking on each other. To me it's a higher standard unless you're going to a Montessori School. Those are expensive. It matters the ages that are kept together. This is how they learn and build character. Just because your times were bad.. doesn't mean all will be bad for him. It's important, that you don't set him up as a shelter child and push your traumas on him. I'm not joking honey. It's time to be brave. You can be villagant but it's time to be brave. Mind where you put him. And you can't stop the bullies. You never can

Oh yes I agree. My mother wouldn't let me go to a daycare or a preschool until I could speak that was around 3 years old. And I could point things out and do things go potty all that other stuff.. defend myself if I needed to. I can understand. Very much so. My mother sent me to religious preschools. They are well watched over by nuns. If you go to a Catholic one. Protestant is very upstanding. I'm not religious. But no joke huge difference between daycares and preschool/daycare. I went to five of them until I found one I was comfortable with.. I was advanced for my age.. Taking a nap was out of the question. By 3 years old. I was done. But I would go to bed at 7:30 and be out by 8:00 p.m. up at 6:30. Sometimes seven... At these places you can actually find assistance. Everybody is eager to help. And the children are held to higher standards. You may want to think about that. Especially if you have to do care. And he can't speak. I'm not religious at all. But if I had to work. That would be my choice where I would put my son..

fat??????. That people is crazy. Maybe they want to be like you and they can't

🇺🇸 ❤️ 🤍 💙

It says more about them then you! I think those type of people have no respect for others or themselves or no emotion intelligence or self awareness! 🤍