This chick wanted to erase the baby's daddy and replace him with her ex. That's insane and she definitely needs help.

@JasperRoberts-jx6jj

7 ай бұрын

Ok I wanna say that her ex isn’t an ex he’s the dead baby daddy/boyfriend she never got over. Don’t get me wrong I think she’s completely in the wrong and so are her family and friends but personally it rubs me the wrong way that op keeps calling him an ex. Likely if he was still alive OP would never have been with her.

@magicstuart4912

7 ай бұрын

@@JasperRoberts-jx6jj But the "ex boyfriend" is an ex. By definition, the unfortunately dead man is her ex so I don't understand your argument here. What rubs me the wrong way is how inconsiderate OP's wife is.

This is not even about the surname, it's about she still not over her late husband.

He should also get primary custody as well for both kids

@LEVAR20

7 ай бұрын

He can only get primary custody of the child that is his. Since he never adopted the son also the mother would have to approve or have her rights terminated before he could. Even in the UK I would think that he couldn't do that since besides being a step parent he has no real right over her son.

@hopeayiasoumi27

7 ай бұрын

@@LEVAR20 I get that about the son but I was looking at it from a point of that to the son OP was the only father figure bringing him up and can clearly see how bad his mum is doing and can’t look after kids properly since the first husband died. It’s a bad situation all around for everyone involved but isn’t fair that husband 2 had to take the responsibility when the wife wasn’t fully recovered from the loss and used him essentially as a placeholder husband and probably would have expected him to change his surname to the first husbands once it got to that point if it went on too long. It’s just a bad situation all around

@Dayday-xj3hc

7 ай бұрын

@@hopeayiasoumi27I get where you are coming from, the wife, her family and her ex in-laws are insane! But OP has not rights to his stepson so unfortunately, he needs to stay with them. But thank god he has his daughter because wtf that story got me shaking. I’m a woman, like hell I would give my baby my exes last name, I don’t even want to give my baby my last name, I would be more than happy to name my child after *their* bio dad. The only way I wouldn’t is if, he waves his rights away, he is abusive person or a complete psychopath, but why would I have a kid with someone like that? Also quick note, can we talking the ex in-laws!!! In what universe did they think they can take OP’s baby? If it was OP’s in-laws I would still be annoyed but it would be understandable because they are the bio grandparents but these people are complete strangers! They had every right to take their grandson but not the baby!

@jamestown8398

2 ай бұрын

That would be right, but unfortunately I don’t think the law is on OP’s side. It seems like the best OP can do is reach out to stepson when he turns 18.

She doesn't love you, you're a placeholder since the love of her life passed. Divorce her and raise your kid. Terminate parental rights if she starts acting even more insane

When he said "i looked like her ex the only difference was a slightly different shade of hair color" it made perfect sense this whole thing the only reason she got with him was because he looked like the man she wanted to be with and her whole family is awful as well

It seems like your wife hasn’t fully mourned her ex yet.

@Ainiewainy

7 ай бұрын

He has no right to the son..

@urieldraconis857

7 ай бұрын

He’s not keeping the son did you even listen to the vid?

There are actual _legal issues_ on the line when a parent and child don't share a surname and have been cases in which it got serious such as when a father couldn't see his daughter in the hospital after a serious accident due to them not sharing the same surname as well as police taking a child away due to a misunderstanding involving surnames.

@LLandS18

7 ай бұрын

Well there's actual criminal charges coming down from getting someone locked up in an institution because you admittedly lie to the police about them being suicidal. In fact there's a case going on right now with the police officer who did that to an ex-girlfriend. And he's going to jail for 15 years. That's where this guy's going. And when he contacts the solicitor that's what his solicitor is going to tell him. So the baby having or not having his surname is literally the least of his concern. Also, he has no legal right to keep that child away from his mother. She may be acting on reasonably but he's acting criminally.

@urieldraconis857

7 ай бұрын

Did you even listen to the video? She clearly said she would kill herself and has a ton of mental issues going on this is not something to take lightly. Postpartum depression is no joke and there are plenty of story’s of mothers not only killing themselves but the children as well. Legally he can’t keep the son and he didint but he’s in the right keeping the girl away from her till she gets the help needed

@LLandS18

7 ай бұрын

@@urieldraconis857 I went back and listened to it. When exactly does she say she's threatening to kill herself. In fact, OP said he lied to the cops about the fact that she was going to kill herself. He's also not a doctor. He cannot diagnose her with postpartum depression. So give me the time stamp.

@aliciamurray5534

7 ай бұрын

@@LLandS185:56 she said she would rather kill herself then have his surname on his baby that is threatening her life.

@saradepetrini4886

7 ай бұрын

In the US, there is no law saying that parents and children need to have the same surname.

As a woman, I have to say, OP's wife has gone insane with the grief. Threatening to unalive oneself to keep the ex's name alive? I mean sis could have just gotten a sperm donor involved if all she wanted was a playmate for her ex's son. But nah, she wanted all the comforts of a marriage and husband all the while in the head she is still married to the ex. Also, the ex also sounds a bit deranged. So many soldiers come back from deployment, very few commit S. He was a special one. No wonder OP's ex was and is still attracted to that guy.

@kellharris2491

7 ай бұрын

I would agree with everything you said except for the jab at the veteran who killed himself. You have no idea what you are talking about. There was a year were we lost more soldiers from suicide then war. Look at all the veterans so messed up they live on the street. It's absolutely disgraceful to insult him like that. Shame on you.

@disturbed0insane

7 ай бұрын

@@kellharris2491 I don't give a $hit about your pathetic attempt to shame me. I have zero respect for people who decide to take up arms against civilians.

@sambryce321

7 ай бұрын

⁠@@kellharris2491The Uk does not have the same problems of veterans being homeless or committing suicide as America does. Although I do agree that it is a tasteless comment, he is right that it is fairly unusual for a uk veteran to commit suicide.

@VRDejaVu

7 ай бұрын

@@kellharris2491 typical of an American to assume all the world has the same mental problems...

@farmerned6

8 күн бұрын

@@sambryce321 "Uk does not have the same problems of veterans being homeless or committing suicide as America does" Really? its a KNOWN fact More Falklands vets committed suicide than died in the conflict, I hate to think what the final tally of deaths will be from the UK Iraq/Afghan Vets

She used her husband, it was clearly never love. She has serious problems, as do her friends and family if they think any of this is normal

Let’s be realistic here, it’s just insane that after so many years he hadn’t realised that he played second fiddle in her life.. there’s no way. At least now he’s doing what he was supposed to do.

@pandablair4226

7 ай бұрын

I think she was able to cover it well until she saw her new born baby looking like her deceased husband

@GeorgeGiann

7 ай бұрын

@@pandablair4226 that’s really… sad. 😔

@twit3537

7 ай бұрын

I think she had an easier time hiding it because he *looked* like her ex husband and there are not many times direct associations to her ex (like name) would be obvious. Plus its not something you would want to actively probe about and thus simce OP qlso didnt personally know him h3 wouldnt connect stuff like: Say she picks his favourite color for OP to wear Wanted their honeymoon in a vacation spot her and her ex always wanted to go or was the location of theirs Keot trying to suggest vhanges to things or hobbies that OP likes that more align to her ex (which he wouldnt know about if he didnt know the ex personally). Like we saw this from the only baby name she agreed with OP which was one her ex and her choose but OP had no idea until it came out even. So overall she was just very good at hiding her behavior imo

@aprilb1273

7 ай бұрын

Maybe the hormones brought up those feelings?

The way things turned out ... I am surprised things went his way.

Oh hell no! Do not do that! She is insane and needs to not jave a kid

Sis is projecting hard and definitely needs some help. And as someone that grew up in an household where it was all half siblings with different surnames, I can tell you that nobody cares.

This is some 🐂💩. It's crazy to want give a child the ex's last name when he's not the father.

How are people actually on her side they should be seriously concerned for her inability to start a new future instead of living in the past. It's sad her ex died but it's not fair to anyone to live in the reality pretending it didn't. It's only depriving the son of a living dad, the daughter of her only dad, the wife of a partner that's alive, and the ex's family from moving on and having closure for their loss. No one has anything to gain from the baby getting the ex's sir name it's only going to make things worse for everyone.

Re-read the story carefully, wife was useing her maiden name during her 1st marriage, but changed it after 1st husband died. Refused to take 2nd husband's surname - saying it was an stupid surname, refused to hyphenate for herself or for the step-son he wanted to adopt, or for the baby girl they just had together and threatened S, yeah, no she's being more then unreasonable, she needs help.

@emilyjohn2034

7 ай бұрын

Don’t forgot the son ALSO wanted to be adopted the poor son wants OP to be his dad

Good for you. I have to say I felt like I had a right to name my kid bc I pushed him out but it’s not right. But naming kid after ex is insane. It sounds as her family is not reasonable.

The woman is absolutely awful. She has no respect for her husband. Her family is no better, so no wonder she turned out so horribly

Finally a man that stands his own in these stories. Good for that guy.

Holy hell your wife is being totally unreasonable ! NTA your wife really is not interested in your side . She is mentally unstable ! Make sure you have everything recorded keep a diary of the goings ons. Good luck!

If she changed her own surname to her ex’s to match with her son and had kept it into marriage, I’d understand it more, but she did not. Forcing the ex’s surname onto a child he’s not connected to and completely ignoring her husband’s wishes is ridiculous. Her ex’s parents are out of their minds too

i’m honestly glad things turned out for op it’s sad it had to come to that but i think he did the best he could in his crazy situation

She desperately needs help. Being so hung up on her ex and diminish the baby daddy's presence is insane.

Divorce her

If you don’t want my name you don’t want my ring.

@l0rdapophis

7 ай бұрын

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

@LuluGen689

7 ай бұрын

Women are ones who go through pain to give birth, men don't do anything but grape them. It's only fair if the woman gives her last name to her baby because she did all the work.

Good for OP!!! He did what any chick would have done

Nah man, divorce, she is crazy over her ex, that why you don't date single moms.

@Manyshapes

7 ай бұрын

Lol. I’m 😂only dating guys who have kids bc guys with no kids want to courtmarshall kids without first bonding with them.

@phoenix4991

7 ай бұрын

@@Manyshapes that's not the case for every single woman but most single moms who come out of a long relationship still 90% of the time have feelings for their exes or need to have a relationship with them for the sake of their kids , so single guys are better off dating single women , simple as that.

@VRDejaVu

7 ай бұрын

@@Manyshapes Let me guess, you want the man contribute financially to your kid(s) from the get go but bond for years before allowing him, if ever, to parent? Very typical.

She’s forcing him, and the son doesn’t mind. She’s not over her ex husband.

It sounds like she doesn't care about you buddy. It's about her and her feels, you are not included in her life

I would divorce her.

Yup that woman is crazy she can't let go of her ex husband she really used op to try to my a family of her ex husband and the massed up is her friend and family are taking her side even the ex husband family

These people are nuts

I will continue to pray for you and your children.

NTA, the 12 year olds name should be the same but if she doesn’t want to name the new baby after you she cares more about her exes feelings rather than you and that’s toxic. You also shouldn’t have called the police because that was in the hear of the moment and you used an argument for an arrest.

@disturbed0insane

7 ай бұрын

Nah, he did right. She would have fled with his baby if he didn't have her committed. Also, it's pretty insane to threaten suicide over a dead guy's name.

@Jogoattheflamedisaster

7 ай бұрын

@@disturbed0insaneI see your point

@TheGosgosh

7 ай бұрын

If someone‘s threatening to sewerslide, that’s literally what you are supposed to do: call emergency services. Case A: they are really unwell and accidentally revealed how bad their head space is right now. They need help asap. Case B: they joked about doing it, didn’t mean it at all. Pretty messed up, they need their humor/situational awareness checked…though police is in that case a bit much. Case C: they try to use it to gaslight/force you to do something against your wishes. They clearly need help, though not as urgently as case A.

@LuluGen689

7 ай бұрын

If she doesn't have ppd he will go to jail atleast for 15 years. Imagine going through pain and giving birth just for your husband to pull this stunt for a surname.

@TheGosgosh

7 ай бұрын

@@LuluGen689 Imagine being emotionally and financially invested in a woman for years, especially her son with another man and then the pregnancy with your own child, only to find out she’s maximally deluded, and her family supports her and mocks you behind your back. On top she thinks that it’s a valid response to threaten sewerslide to not getting her deluded ways.

That escalated quickly

Naw. I'd be done with her. He was clearly a placeholder husband for the dead one. It honestly sounds like she resents her current husband.

I hope she gets healthy after this whole situation, but he should get sole custody. She will absolutely take that child and flee the state. Keep your daughter safe!

Good for you man.

I never understood why people say it’s 2023 so let’s change traditions or try to take your masculinity. People are wild.

Wife isn't over her first husband. She needs therapy.

Is there an update?

Your wife still has an obsession with the first husband I believe that this obsession with this love that she has for him will never go away I believe that it's just better for you just to separate and just file custody over the daughter because she's not going to let you see her because she's going to think that that that daughter first is not yours is his

Your Kid - Your Name Should not have let her keep her ex's Name to start with, there's an argument that she kept her Maiden Name, but she took her Ex's one, She had No reason not to take OP's , or Marry him if she though he wasn't worth it.

*HELL NO!* SHE CAN GO..... *Sigh * Control... The child gets his father's name, end of story. She should have her husbands name, not her ex's. End of story. The kid from the previous relationship can chose to keep his name if he wants. But to dare try to deny a father the right to have his child carry his family name... I'm only 40 seconds in and I can't stand the wife right now. Absolutely she's in the wrong.

NTA she's wild

I will either hyphenate my surname or take my future husband's surname fully. That is insane. It was a red flag for OP when his ex didn't want his last name. Sis needs mental help.

Bro I listen to these reddits stories and think how can y’all spend months maybe even years and not realize they are psychopaths and be like that’s wifey material or husband material and marry them, have like 9 kids half of them not being yours, divorce them, lose everything, and then get back on y’all’s feet like wtf (I’m just exaggerating things but I’m sure I’m not far off😊)

This women is crazy 😅😂😂

I rather how did OP not see any red flags with her and married her. Cause she sounds super crazy and her entire family and friends as well.

Mothers DO NOT get ANY priority over a baby just because “they carried it” I am so tired of this being an excuse. Once that baby is out of your body it is 50/50. You don’t get to hold above your baby daddies head that you carried it, because he couldn’t carry it you were the only one who could, that doesn’t give you more rights to your SHARED baby.

You NEVER sleep on the couch. End of story. I don't care what the argument is. If that is a feasible "punishment" in your household, (and only applies to the man, of course) It's a terrible sign for the relationship.

She never loved you, you were her cash cow

😮

That’s why you can’t get wit these damaged goods women if you want peace

honestly you need a divorce. she isn't over her ex and wants a crazy amount of power just because of biology. she sounds really disgusting and controlling

This woman is crazy

This is why you don't date a single mother

I thought they meant solicitor as in the sex worker type-

@professorrosenstock5026

7 ай бұрын

I thought JW at first

Leave. Seriously. Leave

Paternity test

6:33 what a Chad

Yet another reason not to get involved with single mothers.

@LuluGen689

7 ай бұрын

single mother or not no woman will marry you anyway

@Mercer526

7 ай бұрын

@@LuluGen689 I am married with a kid, try again

@LuluGen689

7 ай бұрын

@@Mercer526 i feel bad for your wife and child

@frogbrain944

7 ай бұрын

​@@Mercer526 so if you died you would want your wife to stay single forever and raise your kids alone? Or if she died you would never date anyone ever again? (I mean I wish a happy long life to you all, just a theoretical question) If someone becomes a single parent in their twenties do you really expect them to never date again? There are crazy people with kids, there are crazy people without kids OP's wife is crazy but it has nothing to do with her being a single mother, its about her not being over her late partner. Like really her having a son is not a problem, she just tried to use him as an excuse to give her baby her late partner's name, cause she's not over him, other then that her having a kid from a previous relationship is not a problem, op even wanted to adopt him. The wife could be without a kid but still not over her ex. If she was over her ex then there would be no problem with a kid from a previous relationship, they could live a happy family of four So yeah date single mothers, don't date people who are still in love with their ex and use you as a placeholder

@Mercer526

7 ай бұрын

@frogbrain944 we've discussed it, and neither of us would remarry. We have a great support system with our families, and my kid won't be without a mother or father figure in their life. Bringing in a complete stranger into a child's life and expecting them to fill a vacant role is not healthy for them and shouldn't be encouraged.

Their both TA, what he did made me absolutely disgusted. Yes, wife needs help and greif counseling, but seriously.

@miss_taps

7 ай бұрын

He didn't did anything to be called an a hole for real dude.

This guy is in for a rude awakening when the full force of the law comes down on him. You can't lie to the police and say someone suicidal when they're not. You can't have someone committed when they're not diagnosed with something. In fact, what he did in the United States and in Canada is a federal offense with prison time up to 15 years. It's a really serious thing that he did. I work with abused women and xx abusive partners used to do this. And they're all in jail now. And it's really really easy for her to prove that he's lying. Sure she's being unreasonable. She's being crazy. She's clearly grieving. But grieving isn't mental illness to the point you're unsafe to be around your child. Keeping his daughter away from her mother is also illegal. Just like if she was keeping the child away from him. This isn't going to end well for him. So yeah, well she's acting unreasonable he's acting criminally. And it sounds to me like he's continuing to lie to social services. Cuz the fact that she was really prove to me they found his statements unfounded and let her go. When you're in custody cases you have to be smart. You can't have knee jerk emotional reactions. Because they're always going to come back and bite you in the butt. And that's what's going to happen to this guy. He's going to lose custody of that child. And then she'll just change the name.

@Falcorria

7 ай бұрын

lol you weren’t there. When someone goes to that level, you take them seriously. Did you hear the part where the place that was keeping her didn’t think she was well either? Also, it’s in UK.

@mattteekel8237

7 ай бұрын

You're obviously un well yourself.

@rebekahdecavit2354

7 ай бұрын

She threatened to commit suicide and admitted it to the police. Of course she told the police it was a joke, nobody wants to be sent to a psych ward. With the way she was acting, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to kill the baby just to keep the husband from getting to name her. I would have called the police too. Also, they didn't let her go because his statements were unfounded. In fact, it sounded like they kept her for longer than the mandatory 72 hour hold due to her behavior, meaning even they thought she had issues. The fact that she threatened suicide to begin with means she unhinged anyway.

@LuluGen689

7 ай бұрын

He should to go jail

@OKAYOKAY420

7 ай бұрын

I don't know how to hold back from telling you how much of an idiot you are.

How can he do that to his wife…it’s her baby and now she can’t see her she just wanted a name to remember to keep the ex alive a bit…

@mantasvilunas2636

7 ай бұрын

The ex is dead,he can't be kept alive,it's an insult to her husband,and by saying that she rather die than give her husbands surname to her baby it shows that she is clearly a nutjob who can't get over her ex and wasn't ready for a marriage

@mujtabarehman5255

7 ай бұрын

How can she do that to her husband…it’s their baby and now she can’t see her out of her own fault of being insane and wanted to keep a dead ex alive in her new relationship

@yuukiara

7 ай бұрын

How can she do that to her husband? It's THEIR baby which the dad ALSO raises. She hasn't gotten over her ex and still clearly loves him, she clearly has issues.

@Exorcist-light

7 ай бұрын

@@yuukiara maybe but it’s the daughter that I’m mainly worried about it’s her mom he can be mad all he wants but his daughter should matter first they should just solve there problems separately if they bed a divorce get a divorce but at least let her see her baby

@Exorcist-light

7 ай бұрын

If the court says no then she can’t but nothing happened and that is her daughter