Mark: “He’s probably not got a lot of electrical resistance on him” Steve: Is rubber

@amildlydisappointingsalad6058

3 жыл бұрын

I just played the video, read your comment and he said it right as I read it

@azurejohnstun7976

3 жыл бұрын

I said the exact same thing 😂

@llllexllll

3 жыл бұрын

i said the exact same thing

@Waylon-Pierce

3 жыл бұрын

I was ur 1000 like lol

@Isa-pe5qp

3 жыл бұрын

lol I’ll mo now uio noilio noit’s okthe otheoiin the uuu o myo bo I uo moms momuuuu imiiiiiiouuuuuuuuuno

The chances of seeing Markiplier angrily walking towards you in a dark alleyway is low, but never zero.

@miraakthedark8849

3 жыл бұрын

And now he is armed with a taser baton and a whip.

@Rahian_El_1

3 жыл бұрын

miraak the dark *a t a c t i c a l w h i p*

@johntf2official

3 жыл бұрын

h

@noneofyourbusiness27

3 жыл бұрын

This has been a psa

@starkitty66

3 жыл бұрын

Peace was never an option

mark: “ im not a masochist” also mark: “ow this whip hurts real bad” *whips himself again*

@selkrasouza6262

8 ай бұрын

Just gotta make extra sure

@BumbleWick

5 ай бұрын

@@selkrasouza6262yeah gotta make sure if the whip is hurting you or if your hurting the whip

@ladybloodymoon4512

4 ай бұрын

Mark later: this is kinda kinky

mark genuinely thinking that the rape whistle is to.. defean an assaultent instead of alert others is honestly peak comedy.

@0_dearghealach_083

2 ай бұрын

It's not meant to deafen them???

@camuscamel9815

2 ай бұрын

@@0_dearghealach_083it’s meant to alarm others to get them to help you

@Iizzzzzzz

Ай бұрын

😂

@t1ny.b1t3s

Ай бұрын

⁠@@0_dearghealach_083it’s supposed to alert others, but the noise can both scare the attacker off and hurt their ears

@kylethewolf

18 күн бұрын

@@t1ny.b1t3s if it was made to sound similar to police siren, that would be more effective I think

this feels like mark kidnapped us and is showing us how not to get kidnapped next time but he's not very experienced

@frogselle0fficial233

2 жыл бұрын

AGREED

@the.kazzie

2 жыл бұрын

i think in a way most of his videos feel like that

@dewdebew

2 жыл бұрын

I- yes

@HappyMatt12345

2 жыл бұрын

LMAO

@Davybackdead

2 жыл бұрын

It's tough love

I also like how Markiplier is actively trying to replace the one thing he truly lost, not unus annus, not even Ethan, his dearly beloved tactical shovel...

@emperorpalpatine373

3 жыл бұрын

We don't mention it around here, you know how he gets if it is named

@grantman5148

3 жыл бұрын

Yea, let’s hope he doesn’t make a video and call me out😂, let that piece of Markiplier history Rest In Peace

@MarinaaAria

3 жыл бұрын

He lost it???

@grantman5148

3 жыл бұрын

@@MarinaaAria he did, but it’s a mystery how???

@oberfeldwebelhans7652

3 жыл бұрын

@@grantman5148 Dude how did he?

Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also Mark, mere seconds later: Bonks mannequin head on head

I love watching mark struggling to put together a dummy and realizing he went to college for engineering.

Wait, so I'm confused. Am I supposed to buy one of these items to defend myself, or am I supposed to call Markiplier when a threat arises? Does he come with a self-defense item included, or should I have one on me? And when Markiplier attacks me, do I call Markiplier to protect me from Markiplier? I have so many questions.

@maggiemccauslin1084

3 жыл бұрын

Lol imagine

@mwebb8434

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

@RowanRen45

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

@inouye6594

3 жыл бұрын

𝘠𝘦𝘴

@JS-qi1ou

3 жыл бұрын

I mean all of those options are useless

Every time Markiplier claims he's "not a masochist" it's immediately followed by him getting hurt somehow

@joelvz8639

3 жыл бұрын

Omg fucking true can't stop laughing at that

@ohheyitsguy

3 жыл бұрын

"guys, stop calling me a masochist, I'm just testing myself" says as he pours salt into his eyelids "I just wanna know my limits" he lies, sewing sandpaper into his jockstrap "Honestly, the joke needs to die now" comes his voice from an actual Iron Maiden

@amerk5456

3 жыл бұрын

As if it was meant to be done

@ZANEKO-

3 жыл бұрын

THATS SO TRUE LMAO

@tristenarctician6910

3 жыл бұрын

999th like

Markiplier was ADHD mode throughout the whole video, this video made me laugh more than I ever did in my life

@baileyelizabethmiles1559

7 ай бұрын

When you forget to take your adderal and have a manic episode and get it on camera

Honestly is someone pulled out a collapsible staff when squaring up I’d be terrified

Let this be a lesson to anyone willing to attack Mark. You could probably just stand still and Mark will end up hurting himself.

@iceninja1997

3 жыл бұрын

You right

@TacitusKilgore347

3 жыл бұрын

Well yeah but who would even slightly want to hurt mark

@mewmewmofo

3 жыл бұрын

this had me dying and rotting on the floor

@SA-gl1ri

3 жыл бұрын

Self offence

@krisdoesart9643

3 жыл бұрын

@@SA-gl1ri brilliant

Alternative Title: I’m a man who owns five ovens, several tactical shovels and now self defense weapons

@reap3514

3 жыл бұрын

A true king honestly

@vampirevenus

3 жыл бұрын

Don’t forget the inordinate amount of sex toys he bought as a business expense 😆

@joelmichaelviado1226

3 жыл бұрын

And the most powerful handheld flashlight on the planet.

@cudydaze79

3 жыл бұрын

And an ass load of poptarts

@AtomBrown69

3 жыл бұрын

Take my like

Mark going through the 5 stages of grief while trying to build Steve is such a mood.

17:18 those alarms are actually really great for when you’re walking alone and you need to get attention really quickly if you’re an emergency situation

"Don't try this at home" *is trying it at home* "Be careful" *hits himself with the tactical whip*

@nicolea2839

2 жыл бұрын

I WILL try at home

@halzion

2 жыл бұрын

"people might mistake me for some kind of a masochist..."

@goldenyam3010

2 жыл бұрын

But then people might mistake him for some sort of masochist

@lvbboi9

2 жыл бұрын

"Do as I say, Not as I do" I guess

@ArthurMorganTheGOAT

2 жыл бұрын

I was reading comments and then he hits him self with whip

"because people might mistake me for some kind of masochist, which isn't true" *thinks back to the 100,000 steps in a day video*

@DyslexicMitochondria

3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@danielretardo7075

3 жыл бұрын

@@DyslexicMitochondria I was curious about your username so clicked on your profile. Your channeI is a hidden gem bro

@saliosnoctin7797

3 жыл бұрын

...then proceeds to hit himself with a whip...

@c0n22

3 жыл бұрын

*Doom music intensifies*

@ibzenjoyer8822

3 жыл бұрын

What are you doing here ThirtVirus

Imagine trying to attack Markiplier and he just pulls out a whip and starts smacking you to death lol

@mossycrown

11 ай бұрын

I would thank him as I die

“IMMA NA DIEEEEE IMMMMM GOINGGGGG TOOOOOO DIEEEEEEEEE” was majestic 20:06

mark’s not a masochist, he just wants to test the maximum of his self defense

@DyslexicMitochondria

3 жыл бұрын

xd

@hammyhamster229

3 жыл бұрын

Just wants to test his limits

@rimuruains3601

3 жыл бұрын

that's what a masochist would said 😂😂

@Ori_nament

3 жыл бұрын

He's minmaxing his defense stat by putting himself through trials and training

@snipershot6014

3 жыл бұрын

Marks next video: I went to the hospital cause I broke my ass.

Markiplier "i'm not a masochist" Also markiplier "i need a woman who can crush my head between her thighs, it's not sexual it's a power thing"

@thetruth7264

3 жыл бұрын

What horror has Mark committed to anger out pirate king Monkey D Luffy

@Pixal_Dragon

3 жыл бұрын

I need that too, except they have to be anime thighs

@nastyfoxz8021

3 жыл бұрын

DAMN IT YOU STOLE MY JOKE

@Karlach_

3 жыл бұрын

I can't wait to watch his playthrough of RE8, it's gonna be so good.

@Moneymaniac32r984

3 жыл бұрын

That’s not what that word means

2:14 “DYSLEXIA OVERLOAD” *Me, bursting out laughing in the corner of the room.*

"You're in a peculiar situation of having too much money." Can't relate.

"I'm NOT a masochist!" -Mark, literally hundreds of times right before he willing puts himself in pain, as if he was some sort of masochist.

@TheChordstruckPony

3 жыл бұрын

"I've always wanted my head to be crushed in between someone's thighs. And I know which part you're thinking, but that's just one of SEVERAL options."

@enter_feeling6042

3 жыл бұрын

@Jay dude... think for like 2 seconds before you write something. People that are the furthest from a masochist would avoid pain at all cost.

@FlaschenJoe11

3 жыл бұрын

He's not a Masochist.....he just wants to see what he can take

@enter_feeling6042

3 жыл бұрын

@@FlaschenJoe11 on the spectrum of masochist to not masochist he's pretty far in the masochist spectrum

@aliceh5289

3 жыл бұрын

@@enter_feeling6042 dude please, he was obviously being sarcastic

Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also mark: "Tactical whip."

@yawntube9962

3 жыл бұрын

"Attract a mate" lol

@TryNotToLie

3 жыл бұрын

the comment right under says the same thing the same thing-

@ayefu

3 жыл бұрын

"He likes his ass the way it is"

@8-ball350

3 жыл бұрын

Noice

@icyhot8167

3 жыл бұрын

What are you doing here???..go hunt crankgameplays or something

I love how Mark is like “I’m not going to use these on myself. I’m not a masochist.” And lixian disproves that statement almost immediately 😂😂😂😂

29:07 After watching Hard2Hurt, I realize that Mark does NOT know how to fight. The tacticle whip is easily the best self defense tool in this lineup. The flashlight baton they chose has many issues, as it can easily be grabbed by the aggressor, very obvious you have it, seems rather difficult to activate the taser aspect (Especially under pressure of a real fight), and Mark doesn't even really test how blinding the light aspect is. I also noticed how Mark didn't follow through with their strikes using the tacticle whip. It doesn't bounce back if you FOLLOW THROUGH, and that also amplifies the damage! Not to mention people can't really grab it too well in terms of leverage due to the pliable nature of a whip. And you can SWITCH to lethality by using that sharp tip of the handle in close range.

It’s a competition... Mark: rates takis Ethan: rates fries Mark: *pissed* .. rates self defence tools

@paulinaderegowska4757

3 жыл бұрын

And it's def. the most useful.

@aaa.-.6831

3 жыл бұрын

@@paulinaderegowska4757 I don’t know the talkies video was very informative

@prynxeofdarkness

3 жыл бұрын

Its deleted channel,,, from a distance

@aaa.-.6831

3 жыл бұрын

I didn’t realize I wrote friends not fried until now omfg I wrote this half hour ago

@TravelerZ24

3 жыл бұрын

Just give me an entrenching shovel and I'm good

Guys, he's not a sadist. He just wants to see how far he can push Steve's body.

@Jimmysmum069

3 жыл бұрын

Lol, ur Runa pfp is pog

@superqmod696

3 жыл бұрын

He’s paid you to say that, hasn’t he?

@scarychy8729

3 жыл бұрын

steve approves this message

@kyutogreywolf4292

3 жыл бұрын

@@superqmod696 he dont pay people lest its for items

@biscuit3456

3 жыл бұрын

@@kyutogreywolf4292 one would hope he pays his editor as well

14:47 *rattles of list* "I'm not going to remember any of those" Relatable

I’m sorry but the line “you gotta keep yourcount aselfable” had me cracking up. Ps: I think he forgot to pop up the little thing to blow up the tough guy.

Mark: "I'm not a masochist." Also mark: hates manaquins (buys one), whips himself, flogs himself with a wallet, plays with a knife (scaring himself in the process), and stabs his hand with a spike.

@gamepapa1211

3 жыл бұрын

That's just pushing the limits of his own body.

@grewleo

3 жыл бұрын

@@gamepapa1211 This is what it means to go even further beyond.

@the_moon_gazer

3 жыл бұрын

Every masochist

@JUN0100

3 жыл бұрын

And also gets into the hospital alot

@carlover_1298

3 жыл бұрын

*pain is our speciality*

Alternate title: mark definitely not proving that he 100% isn’t a masochist

@cassper2020

3 жыл бұрын

Markiplier should try every peep flavor

@GamerPro-wd7eh

3 жыл бұрын

Boooo

@riahtrinity1168

3 жыл бұрын

@@GamerPro-wd7eh alright fine lol

@littlestar5830

3 жыл бұрын

or Mark not knowing how to use self defense tools

@truebluebloodylegend7925

2 жыл бұрын

Not only can you hurt yourself with the spike, you can also shrexualy arouse yourself

"You're under attack from me! Who's protecting myself from you!"

"today we are going to test non lethal options of self defense items" *Pulls out a mini-axe with ten sharpened butt plugs*

Mark isn't a masochist, he's just testing out his pain tolerance

@AtomBrown69

3 жыл бұрын

Hmm, sounds like something a masochist would say

@whelli9226

3 жыл бұрын

Sure, you can tell yourself that, but we all know the real reason he's inflicting pain on himself

@EpicMuttonChops

3 жыл бұрын

@@whelli9226 he's trying to get the thrill from unus annus again

@cvsp.c

3 жыл бұрын

@@whelli9226 It's a joke, you know that right?

@YaBigGaymo

3 жыл бұрын

It's only masochism if you like it hahaha

I like how it went from non deadly to staving in the eyes

The noise thing actually seems useful for SA resistance. I would still recommend carrying a weapon as well in case the attacker isn't discouraged. (pepper spray, tazer, etc.)

“PeOpLe mIgHt mIsTaKe Me FoR a M a S o C h I s T” oh no good sir, there’s no mistake.

@calebcraft8190

3 жыл бұрын

lol ikr

@Basstez

3 жыл бұрын

Definitely no mistake. Unus Annus proved that lol.

@infamouseneet3992

3 жыл бұрын

@@Basstez what is **** ****, never heard of that before

@Basstez

3 жыл бұрын

@@infamouseneet3992 Had to be there.

@lucywilson6075

3 жыл бұрын

@@infamouseneet3992 just had to be there buddy, you wouldnt understand

"YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK...from me...WHO'S PROTECTING HIMSELF...from you! And you're about to be DESTROYED! Except, you have ME on your side!" -Markiplier 2021

@xtremethegreatone9775

3 жыл бұрын

Best statement from popular youtuber, Markiplier.

@rockstarfoxy6381

3 жыл бұрын

Bruh

@jadenybrown1070

3 жыл бұрын

Yes we watched the video to. We all have ears

@Sky-hz5sp

3 жыл бұрын

@@jadenybrown1070 All good quotes are quoted by other people.

@icebreakerce1942

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao

The Ham-axe-ench multitool actually does serve one potential useful purpose in self defense: It looks like a tiny hatchet in the dark. Hold it up and charge at your attacker while screaming. If they have any sense, they'll think you look insane and will run away.

If Markiplier has an electric baton he is gonna end the world as we know it.

Markipliers catchphrase is slowly becoming "I'm not a masochist"

@jakomioftherose2434

3 жыл бұрын

Unus Annus said otherwise.

@Cloud24774

3 жыл бұрын

@@jakomioftherose2434 *Unus Annus? wHaTs tHaT?* (please dont take it for real XD)

@camelmanguy9181

3 жыл бұрын

I mean Unnus Annus died, kinda. So it would seem right for his catchphrase to change lol.

@vakuArt

3 жыл бұрын

"Hello everybody, I'm not a masochist, and welcome to..."

@camelmanguy9181

3 жыл бұрын

Lol

I keep remembering Sean saying about mark “I can’t tell if he’s a genius or an idiot”

@macncheesy0548

3 жыл бұрын

Lol and both wade and ethan have told him something along the lines of “youre the smartest dumb person i know”

@Restilia_ch

3 жыл бұрын

The answer is "Both? Both. BOTH. Both is good."

@altsc

3 жыл бұрын

Idiotic genius

@kar3n1nblack77

3 жыл бұрын

Its spelled SEÁN

@kar3n1nblack77

3 жыл бұрын

Lol im joking

This is literally on the top of my list of videos that make me laugh every time! Mark has literally pulled me out of depression countless times. With Mark tries, Mark’s mom, Unus Anus, Try not to Laugh and so many more he never fails to cheer me up when I’m down.

When he said “IM GOING TOOOOOO DIEEEEEEE” I honestly vibed to that

I don’t think Mark has interacted with another human being in a while.

@aserta

3 жыл бұрын

There's only Steve. And Steve ain't exactly whole.

@graciedowning566

3 жыл бұрын

well besides amy

@airsickspace9272

3 жыл бұрын

@@graciedowning566 remeber Amy is robot

@mat8791

3 жыл бұрын

Considering the last time he interacted with an actual human being said human died. (You know if you know, if you don't, that's fine. A year flies fast.)

@SG-pu3rx

3 жыл бұрын

@@mat8791 what?

Favorite Mark Quote, “Newton’s Laws are a bitch”

@DyslexicMitochondria

3 жыл бұрын

hahaha I started lookingg for pepper sprayyy after someone staaaalked me on my yt chaaannnellll yesterday. Please stay safe everyone and everybody

@GMF_Podcast

3 жыл бұрын

Me learning Newton’s Laws in school: *taking notes*

@mattearenzi8972

3 жыл бұрын

@@DyslexicMitochondria Hi ily and OMG i loooooove ur chaaaaaanelllllll

@dhaniel6328

3 жыл бұрын

Best.

@theenduriangamer5509

3 жыл бұрын

As a Physicist, I can unironically agree with that statement. Newton's laws ARE a bitch.

What made people think those pop out canes are a self defence thing? They’re a magicians cane, it’s literally just a magic trick, it can maybe hurt you if you fuck up whilst deploying it cause the metal can be a little sharp but it’s literally thin aluminium

Ease of use, Speed of Deployment, and *paaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn* gotcha

Mark is like a child trapped in a mans body, that’s what makes him so great

@blurryface5281

3 жыл бұрын

True

@jp-zp3ds

3 жыл бұрын

Can’t really see that to be honest

@takahariyt4595

3 жыл бұрын

Nah he's just a happy man

@DeadEyes63

3 жыл бұрын

If we can see the beauty in a man child we can truly see and appreciate the worlds best people

@Vyclops

3 жыл бұрын

he is

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM MARKIPLIER: stand still. He’ll probably just get himself hurt.

@makingvideosforyou647

2 жыл бұрын

Yep

@Emma-if5er

2 жыл бұрын

HA-

@decentlysmartforanidiot8284

2 жыл бұрын

step away from the splash zone first, otherwise he might hit you too

@theblade9394

2 жыл бұрын

Yes

@xuo6814

2 жыл бұрын

True

Mark:I'm NOT a masochist Also mark:*almost broke a window*

Watching him try to build the mannequin is like a man trying to figure out the female anatomy 😂

So I'm being attacked by Mark because mark is defending himself from attacking me but luckily i have mark on my side. Seems legit

@Alexander_productions

2 жыл бұрын

hes fighting me and himself

@phoebusapollo8365

2 жыл бұрын

@@Alexander_productions from himself

@Place_Your_Order_Here

2 жыл бұрын

@@phoebusapollo8365 With himself.

@gault6546

2 жыл бұрын

@@Place_Your_Order_Here for himself

@thereebstir9572

2 жыл бұрын

@@gault6546 by himself

"can't get Steve off" It's OK Markiplier, everyone's needs are different

@wherecanyoubemylove

3 жыл бұрын

Thats what she said

@DueNorthGaming

3 жыл бұрын

Minecraft Steve

@bertoandon9681

3 жыл бұрын

"Let me go down on him"

@iam_crumb

3 жыл бұрын

XD

@tannerlheureux4164

3 жыл бұрын

All I need for defence is a twisted tea🥵🥵

The collapsable staff at 27:48 looks like a light saber

We ain’t gonna talk about how at 11:49 he was actually about to break his window

@NavyDigital.

Ай бұрын

We are

I love how he’s still trying to defend him not being a masochist

@sensational7335

3 жыл бұрын

Non masochist topic Markiplier: I'm NoT A mAsOcHiSt

@micahrose303

3 жыл бұрын

*proceeds to whip himself*

@TaeyonRose

3 жыл бұрын

A battle no one can win

@TheTrueDoomSlayer

3 жыл бұрын

That's the best self-defense

Friendly reminder he is NOT A MASOCHIST just testing the limits of his body.

@visor2723

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

@j4ne._d0e81

3 жыл бұрын

Of course

@potatonumber200

3 жыл бұрын

Duh! Why would he inflict pain on himself if he was a masochist?! Everybody knows that!!

15:48 Those things are commonly used here in Japan too. Very useful. When you're being targeted or attacked, you pull the pin and then throw it. The attacker would usually go for the alarm since it's out and attracts people. That's when you run away

24:18 I was laying in bed, about to fall asleep, and the balloon popping startled me awake 😂

mark: *literally was gonna be an engineer* also mark: *struggles to put together a training dummy*

@amnesiapilot7367

3 жыл бұрын

WRONG TYPE OF ENGINEERING XDXDXDXD Putting stuff together is my field (mechanical). Mark liked the science too much (switched from the imaginary engineering field (civil) to a real field (biomedical))

@catanana312

3 жыл бұрын

He was going to be an engineer? Since when tf

@ivorytitan7653

3 жыл бұрын

@@catanana312 He studied engineering before his youtube channel. He dropped out so he could continue his KZread career.

@amnesiapilot7367

3 жыл бұрын

@@catanana312 he went to college for it before he did youtube. He has talked about it so often 😂 he started in civil engineering and then he switched to biomedical, which is probably why he chose youtube over engineering 😂

@nonexistent4270

3 жыл бұрын

@@amnesiapilot7367 OHHH PFFFT. I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ENGINEERING OOPS

What fills me with joy is that steve is apparently shorter than mark which in my eyes would imply that mark is defending himself from a child

@prettyfunny7616

3 жыл бұрын

All short people are children ✍

@mislaymae

3 жыл бұрын

so with what i read, short adults don’t exit and are really just children pretending to be adults... makes sense

@amandachristensen8189

3 жыл бұрын

Can confirm, we are, in fact children 🤣

@-Anemr-

3 жыл бұрын

Children are scary, OK?

@spid333rlilly

3 жыл бұрын

@@prettyfunny7616 as a short person, y e a

You can see how close the intrusive thoughts are to winning when he almost takes The Stinger to the window

The part where Mark's head explodes always gets me 🤣🤣🤣. 3:54

“If I get a discount on ending someone’s life, you know I’m gonna take that chance.” -Markiplier 2021

@wolfenwingsable

3 жыл бұрын

Markiplier, ending lives at a discount

@d.v.5613

3 жыл бұрын

I heard him say that right as read that, absolutely perfect timing

@minerxen

3 жыл бұрын

Hand to hand combat. An optionally free way to kill someone.

Sometimes it hits me occasionally, to think this is the same guy who comforted my crying sister at a comicon once upon a time.

@user-rm9lg1zc7o

3 жыл бұрын

Aw that’s cute

@memesifoundinmybasement311

3 жыл бұрын

👌👌👌

@greypug7769

3 жыл бұрын

I wanna like but I don’t wanna ruin the 69 likes

@thehalobro9622

3 жыл бұрын

@@greypug7769 too late

@videosongsable

3 жыл бұрын

But you got to love the guy, he is funny about it

“You gotta keep your count aselfable” fav quote

Mark trying to put on that bracelet was like a mission impossible scene 😂

@user-ox7bh4hc6f

Ай бұрын

1

"You're under attack from me, who's protecting himself from you, and you're about to be destroyed, exept ...you've got me on your side" ... I can already tell this is going to be a great video

@Daughter.of.Samyaza

2 жыл бұрын

I wanted to be the 1st person to comment on this comment

@cassie4131

2 жыл бұрын

"Big mama jamba"

@HappyElsen

2 жыл бұрын

I like how this bit of silly nonsense he said kinda perfectly describes the relationship between his engineer Mark and Captain characters from in space with Markiplier. Fuckin Captain I trust you but I gotta kick your ass for the greater good, lmao

@localareakobold9108

2 жыл бұрын

UwU

@seynpurrp

2 жыл бұрын

you're* kiddo gg ez

I love that right after he says im not gonna test the weapons on myself he proceeds to hit himself with steve mate really forgot that people might mistake him for a masochist

you know the best part about this is not the actual review but mark attempting to assemble the damn dummy 🤣

Mark: "People might mistake me for some kind of masochist..." Everyone else: "You masochist"

@neptune1564

2 жыл бұрын

3:09

@exotic_snacks819

2 жыл бұрын

"I might whip my own ass" lol omg the whip though

@mune3351

2 жыл бұрын

@@exotic_snacks819 10:54 feels personal, I feel like he is calling me out for thinking he is a masochist

@ares8223

2 жыл бұрын

I have the power to change it from 2.9 to 3k

Imagine breaking into a home and just hearing "Amazon self defense activated"

@lilbluridinghood6296

3 жыл бұрын

Alexa, destroy the intruder.

@dandandydan

3 жыл бұрын

😭

@ieatcrayonsforbreakfast7887

3 жыл бұрын

Alexa, launch the nuke

@anotherdaytobetheslayer7091

3 жыл бұрын

Alexa, we need guns

@ReddyRAD

3 жыл бұрын

Alexa, deploy the knife-wielding roombas.

22:13 I think i want that bracelet now

My unkempt quarantine hairdo: Stranded on a desert island Markiplier's quarantine hairdo: Tortured artist spiraling into insanity as he completes his ultimate work

@DolusVulpes

3 жыл бұрын

So Mark looks like he's from Layers of Fear?

@hxneyedbellsss

3 жыл бұрын

@@DolusVulpes no he’s Amazon Keanu Reeves this has been established

@nomasan

3 жыл бұрын

@@hxneyedbellsss no... almost correct... but he's more like Amazon Reanu Keeves... there's a big difference

@landroverrangeroversporths2569

3 жыл бұрын

Dollar tree Keanu reeves but with 0.1% more swear words

@altsc

3 жыл бұрын

@@hxneyedbellsss Amazon Reeves?

Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also Mark: hits his head against a dummy repeatedly, buys a whip, buys a paddle wallet

@presidentjohnhenryeden9450

3 жыл бұрын

Oh trust me I’m a masochist too and I can verify that this man is almost as crazy as mien fürrer

@rainxer9561

3 жыл бұрын

@@presidentjohnhenryeden9450 Idk if that was a misspelling or was on purpose, but i can only get that offended and agree at the same time

@presidentjohnhenryeden9450

3 жыл бұрын

Rainxer it was intentional because of the Meme

@rainxer9561

3 жыл бұрын

@@presidentjohnhenryeden9450 what a cultured man you are

20:35 he he he he

@the_bob_147

11 ай бұрын

Profile pic checks out 😂

@Wutsizbukkit

11 ай бұрын

[Undertale talking noise intensifies]

@PopVR-qj3ns

Ай бұрын

Bur ur urp

You gotta love Mark for testing and approving Amazon self-defence weapons for the safety of the viewers, The True King Of Fnaf and KZread!

I will never not laugh at the fact that a “magician’s pocket staff” has become a self defense tool in the eyes of the public

@big_boi_chris7410

2 жыл бұрын

Epicly

@kridcal0

2 жыл бұрын

Hahaha! Lixian should’ve edited mark with a magician hat when he popped that thing.

@RinSyuveil

2 жыл бұрын

Well when made of strong metal it can be… but it’s more likely to cut your finger or explode in your pocket before it will be useful so it’s better to get the flashlight baton and stun gun if your that afraid at night to walk alone

@Just-A-Nemo

2 жыл бұрын

It'll bend after a single hit Edit: "I'll" bend after a single hit. How did I not notice that

@siraxlrose5659

2 жыл бұрын

@@RinSyuveil or a gun

Mark: "It's a tactical PEN" Me: "Alright, calm down Percy Jackson"

@ronvanawesome3281

3 жыл бұрын

@Clara Hoffman It's just too perfect! The flash light isn't even that good, like the faint glow of the celestial bronze. And being a pen is only its secondary use!

@richtyty9416

3 жыл бұрын

YES

@moonthehuman

3 жыл бұрын

Noice👌🏽

@aidenluong4634

3 жыл бұрын

That is a 10 out of 10 comment

@prince_damien_of_darkness

3 жыл бұрын

I have found my people

He’s making this video to hard to watch at 1am while my family is sleeping 😂😂

Him almost testing the window on his own window killed me

It's midnight, you're in an alley. You see Markiplier running at you, anger in his face. You aren't intimidated. Roll for laugh chance.

@JL-iw6pq

3 жыл бұрын

*rolls

@killuazoldyck7442

3 жыл бұрын

I got a 1... I think I might be doomed

@twelve1738

3 жыл бұрын

I rolled a 14.

@witchhazel4443

3 жыл бұрын

Ehh I got an 18

@totallyahumancalled_evan1097

3 жыл бұрын

I got a Nat 29

what i understand from this video: - you need to deal a mixt of physical and magic damage to robbers otherwise it will not be effective - markiplier is a masochist

@randomguy8092

2 жыл бұрын

@very_cool It was a joke, I think.

@gos358

2 жыл бұрын

*Do you want to have a bad time?

@TheoStarlight

2 жыл бұрын

nonono you don't get it, he isn't a masochist, he just wants to see how much pain he can handle!

@froggy3203

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheoStarlight oooohh yes of course

@MrRose41

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheoStarlight ahhh you're right! 💀

the "screechers" as i call them are more of an alarm for other people if your getting taken or robbed than a self defense tool. That's why they come out so easily

I've been crying and laughing this whole time. You're still very funny I use to watch you a while ago when I was younger. You're the best you definitely put a smile on my face today 😁

Marks transformation into Keanu Reeves is nearly complete.

@Pinonyan

3 жыл бұрын

Lol🤣 he's unintentionally going for that look though

@STA-3

3 жыл бұрын

Markimoo in the Matrix 😂

@EveInTheMachine

3 жыл бұрын

Yep! He's nearly ready for his parody of the Matrix that I'm imagining in my head.

@r.j.penfold

3 жыл бұрын

As long as he isn't goin' for the John Wick parodies. Chica'll never forgive him.

@finstrike7

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. He just needs to shed a few ponds.

The public: Why does Mark go to the hospital so much? Mark: Records himself showing off cheap self defense weapons and pointing a taser at his face.

@swiftlyaswiftie

2 жыл бұрын

Mark is the real life equivalent of Luke shining the lightsaber to his face

This is a perfect representation of my ADHD when “nothing” is going my way. 🤣

"The more money you put in the more damage it does." Real life pay to win 💀

Everybody: “Mark’s a masochist.” Mark: *There is no war in Ba Sing Se*

@santiagotafoya7906

3 жыл бұрын

I was literally about to type this exact comment

@Chelseyanne8

3 жыл бұрын

Facts

@TheRoganExperiencexx

3 жыл бұрын

@Deceased_ he probably watched it 2 hours after that person commented and then found the comment 💀

@thisispissingmeoffroyally428

3 жыл бұрын

@Deceased_ you're not smart

@santiagotafoya7906

3 жыл бұрын

@Deceased_ and that makes sense how?😂

Mark acts like me when I'm hopped on caffeine and red bull

I used to feel bad about being dyslexic, but after this video, I’m glad to say I’m happy to be a happy problem

Mark would be the one Jedi to impale himself with his own lightsaber.

@jjmar3875

3 жыл бұрын

Except he would do it on purpose, just to test his limits, not because he's a masochist- he's not masochist- he just wants to see if he can take it.

@TheJege12

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, either on accident, or because he "wants to see if he can take it" :'D

@seriasbaconluv

3 жыл бұрын

He would try to impale himself on a non-vital organ too. Just to then see if he can use the force to heal himself.

@pierrelemagnifique205

3 жыл бұрын

When Darth Vader told Mark I am your father Mark replied with: Choke me daddy.

@midokankaito

3 жыл бұрын

@@pierrelemagnifique205 XD

Marks doctor sees title and thumbnail: "sigh, nurse get a bed ready" Nurse: "why?" Doctor: "just a feeling"

@shdwfxgamerz7667

3 жыл бұрын

Why do I feel like this has happened before 😂😂

@laughing_jackal6291

3 жыл бұрын

Nah nah, that doctors gonna say it with a lot more punch like- "NNNEEURSE!!"

@doc874

3 жыл бұрын

You got my reaction pretty much perfect

@potatonumber200

3 жыл бұрын

"Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance! But not for me!!"

@deadcoen5684

3 жыл бұрын

Nurse!!!!!!!!!!!

mark hitting highnotes while he says he is going to die makes my ass laughing rolling on the fooor

3:35 French revolution all over again 😂