I know exactly what’s going on. The caller is experiencing a lot of disappointment because he worked really hard and things didn’t go as planned. He feels reluctant to put effort into anything else in case that also doesn’t work out. That is due to fear of feeling disappointed.

@GenXMafia

2 күн бұрын

This is me in a nutshell. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for this comment. I have been trying to figure myself out now for so long and I just haven’t been able to put my finger on what’s wrong. You have no idea how much your comment helped me. I took a screenshot of it and I’m taking it to my therapist for my next appointment!

@SusanaXpeace2u

2 күн бұрын

@@GenXMafia yes this is kept me staying safe for years i didn't try too hard in case i failed too hard. And then in my forties I thought, ok, I can survive some failure, so i went for the grade above me five times and failed five times. oh boy, some of those failures hurt. But I think i'm stronger for knowing that i tried, i did, and i am ok now (although along the way, the failures hurt). Now I'm properly able to start accepting what I have because before, I felt like gratitude journalling blah blah blah would stop me from going forward. NOW and only now can i be ready for gratitude.

@cupidok2768

2 күн бұрын

Rage is so scary. Like road rage! He will attack me. How can i be with him

@Wildanimal864.

2 күн бұрын

That’s one of his many factors but not the only one.

@tunein2life681

2 күн бұрын

​@@cupidok2768You cannot be with him is your answer. He needs to work on himself with the help of a good therapist first. He's not ready for a relationship. He could hurt you, and badly. It's good that you recognize that in him, and you need to heed what your gut is telling you. 👍

Dude, I’m not spiritual or anything but I read the title and saw the thumbnail and it spoke to me. The video opened with “hey Justin wassup man” that’s my name. I need a minute to lay down.

@Matt.gaming1

Күн бұрын

Might be Jesus trying to get your attention… maybe look into Him

@juicyyy5765

17 сағат бұрын

Dude I had exactly the same thing

@Bori.1776

10 сағат бұрын

@@juicyyy5765 Dude I was tripping 😂

@L33tSauceProductions

5 минут бұрын

Ultimo lugar donda pensaba encontrar un boricua 😂

I can really relate to this call. 24 and just angry with no purpose. It really helps to be able to listen to this conversation.

Anxiety often comes when we feel like we have no control in our life, and we can then become overly controlling. When that doesn't work out, we become frustrated and even more angry. It's a cycle that needs to be broken. Find something in which you can have near complete control. Many people turn to building models, or miniatures of something- creating a world in which you have total control. Really, any creative expression can help.

@todd2324

2 күн бұрын

How will that help someone when they are in situations where they have no control?

@joshuathompson2864

2 күн бұрын

​@todd2324 I'm not sure how it works but when you find the small things, tasks, hobbies that are yours, really yours... it helps. Try it. It can be anything you like. Here is an easy one: Find a place to feed birds each day around the same time until you recognize the regulars. By then they will know you and have a special song for when you come to feed them. Only takes a week or so. Good luck.

@todd2324

2 күн бұрын

@@joshuathompson2864 OK, what I have found that helps me the most is doing things that are very difficult, where I have little control, and where I'm uncomfortable. By doing that, once I face challenges in everyday life, I'm naturally less anxious and better able to cope.

@S42069

2 күн бұрын

@@todd2324 When it's your decision to take these challenges on- you are at least in control of that decision making process. This is why ice baths are so helpful- intentionally placing yourself in a stressful situation, increasing your cortisol and allowing you the opportunity to work through it on your own terms. This makes it easier to tolerate that which you cannot control, and those stressful moments become minute in comparison to what you just put yourself through.

@todd2324

2 күн бұрын

@S42069 Interesting. I have found that when I train BJJ, although it is a decision I make to do it, I have no control over what happens during the training session, or how hard my training partners will push me. Sometimes, I do well. Other times, I'm struggling. My instructor always keeps us guessing. It's a martial art that pushes you mentally and physically to exhaustion. Once I do that, post-training, I look at ice baths as a time to relax :).

Really appreciate this call. Didn’t play baseball, but can definitely relate to something being an identity for so long, to no longer being it.

We all drift away from who we used to be. His is just more clear. Hopefully he can find the next chapter in his life and not hold on to the past.

This reminds me of what I went through when i left the military at 24. These transitions cause depression.

@GenXMafia

2 күн бұрын

I left the Army in 1995 at 29 yrs old. To this day I am angry and bitter. Hate the world the whole 9.

@mateo10734

2 күн бұрын

@@GenXMafiaI’ve never served but I’m 24 and feel the same way. I feel like an old man in a young persons body. I can’t stand people being immature and loud, especially when they’re older than me. I feel like the older I get the more of a critic and pessimist I become. Can’t stand people my age and don’t even get me started on the younger gens lol. I just feel like there’s so little to look forwards to everyday and everything is just so corrupt, it’s hard for me to look at humans and their actions in the world with absolute love, but I do with nature.

@moniqueengleman873

2 күн бұрын

ERIC?????? ​@@GenXMafia

This is a great show. I had the same story when I was 22 as well I made a huge mistake, and I was living in California, I moved to Texas and for the past 3 years I’ve been living in Dallas TX, I started working at a coffee shop and coaching CrossFit, met my wife, and now I’m moving back to California with a healthy and whole heart and a woman I can partner with in life! I’m 25 now, and can testify to this! You’ve got to do radical stuff to make changes in your life!

For me the older I got and convinced myself to care less and be less engaged on many things that doesn't really matter in the end, the happier and mellow I am as a person. I smile and laugh more (even at work) and sleep so much better. Getting older and finally wiser I guess...

@aeconiglio

2 күн бұрын

Isn't that the truth?!

I have chapters of my life that felt like entire lifetimes. Most from childhood were sad and fearful, so I was THRILLED when life got "good" at a point in my 20s. Life happened, and before you know it... you BLINK, and a new chapter has started... The anger came when I realized I couldn't go back. I couldn't travel back to the day before my mom died, or back to the day before I was hit by a red light runner, etc. It's especially hard when you go from a chapter that's beautiful and happy to one that's sad or scary or disappointing. I'm in a neutral time of my life, packed with lessons, and I'm trying to remind myself to be grateful for this time now and what it has to offer. Wishing anyone who sees this message lots of peace and self compassion.

@Lil-Whiskies

2 күн бұрын

Great way of putting it. When you get older (or just old) you do see your life this way, and how it changes and has phases.

@aeconiglio

2 күн бұрын

@Lil-Whiskies Agreed. When we're young, we don't yet have the experience of life giving us a new BETTER chapter. We're typically stuck in the grief. But getting older has given me the gift of time and perspective. I'm so grateful I didn't give up in my 20s... I almost did, but I'm grateful to be alive 🩷

@kimberlygorgoglione9237

Күн бұрын

Phases,stages and crazes all mixed in.​@Lil-Whiskies

@jared2.028

Күн бұрын

I can relate to this also, this episode spoke right to me and i needed to hear this for some help as im feeling down a little, anxiety sucks. How do you deal with your anger? For me i try and exercise or just go for a long drive and get away. My depression and anxiety comes from being 38 amd single and being on a farm isolated at times, sometimes it can be to much and i get like you and have flash backs amd regret.

@lindarockower6028

10 сағат бұрын

There's these wild violets running along the edges of the concrete outside our apt building. The landscapers cut 'em down, but they get darker & stronger, & keep coming back. More beautiful each time.

Being the mother of a son who hates me or acts like he hates me, I got some comfort from this guy's call. I understand that you need something to connect over. My son and I, we used to connect over him being a kid, stories, fun, there just doesn't seem to be any thing obvious to connect over as an adult, even though we're both into fitness.

@hillarybillary21

2 күн бұрын

What a strange comment. “We connected over him being a kid, now that he’s an adult we just don’t connect”. You’re the problem, lady.

@hillarybillary21

2 күн бұрын

Enjoy your weight machines at the gym.

@juliec3437

2 күн бұрын

I'm sry , yes, this is hard. I have a similar thing in that we don't rly share common values any more.

@Cashhhhew

2 күн бұрын

@@hillarybillary21lol some parents truly only like their kids when they can control their every move. Once they become autonomous adults they don’t find the joy in it anymore. Very sad.

@standground7956

2 күн бұрын

I honestly don’t think your son hates you. It’s just hard for some of us men to find relatable things to connect with mom as we age. I didn’t get a stronger connection with my mom until I got married and had children. *Your son loves you, he’s just young and frustrated at life’s happenstances just like many of us men.*

Thank you so much for providing real advice for men. This is so hard to find. Thank you.

Jennifer Melphi on the Sopranos said “ anger is depression turned backwards “. I thought that was the perfect analogy. Something to think about

Man, I relate to this so much. When I quit playing ball at 17, finding your identity is hard. You feel all this anger and resentment at yourself. Thank God for the Air Force, it gave me belonging again.

@0num4

Күн бұрын

Are you still in? I found leaving the Army was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, especially after a couple of enlistments where I really became fully enmeshed in the military life. Thanks for your service, even if it was the Chair Force 😆

@Nido17

Күн бұрын

@0num4 exactly! This is my 12th year, so 8 more to go at least. I hope I'm blessed to finish it out. Hey, it's all love my friend lol. Love all my fellow branches!

I also found rage and resentment in letting go of my childhood dream of playing baseball. You’re forced to find a new identity all over. Be strong

Iyanla Vanzant teaches that underneath rage is pain and/or fear. In the context of the caller, this so rings true: He feels like he's lost his life's dream and identity, his team, disappointed his parents; that's gonna hurt, no question. Not knowing what's next and feeling stuck and being frustrated about living with his in-laws... I totally get why he gets pissed off at everything and everyone. I feel that!

He's 22, the 20's are tough. Everyone thinks you are having a blast, and it is fun to be young and adventurous, but it is also a time of great uncertainty, your personhood is not fully formed. Everyone acknowledges how difficult the teen years are, but they don't automatically end when you turn 20, personal struggles bleed into the next decade for awhile. If you don't have goals it makes it harder, you can drift aimlessly and sometimes get completely lost. I didn't get right with myself until I was 29.

I am not literally this guy but I am in a very similar situation. I’m about to ship off to get my Master’s. I spent all my time in college working and studying. Never partied, drank, etc. I have made no friends, no deeper connections. Nothing. I work, study, work, and eventually I will die. It feels like that is all there is left to life.

@thematrix3663

2 күн бұрын

You need to do something meaningful which is usually found in Christ. You were created to worship but at this point it is your job so you feel unfulfilled.

@butimbobbywitdatool

Күн бұрын

A bit similar to you. I wanted to pursue a PhD right after college, but I chose to explore my options instead (aka work a normal job and build a savings). Never have I experienced such despair in my life. Actually wanted to kill myself for a while. Like ^^ said, find something that gives you meaning. Something that can’t be ruined by a sense of obligation. If you are able, I’d recommend volunteering at a food pantry or shelter or any cause you are passionate about.

@cyanideinmycereal1077

Күн бұрын

@@butimbobbywitdatool Everything is an obligation. There’s no point in doing something if you’re not obligated to, because then you’ll never do it.

He's so young; he doesn't have to conquer the world before he is 25. There are so many places to go and things to do and perhaps he should just enjoy some of it.

Cutting out pornography completely helped with my anger.

@frankalmanzar3492

2 күн бұрын

My anger is present when I do semen retention for more than a couple of days. So I think for me it’s the other way around lol. I do believe anger can be sort of a good thing if that energy is abled to be channeled into other things I suppose like social life or working out. But maybe in your case, you were addicted and so maybe your anger came from feeling or being addicted.

Rudolf Steiner (German pedagogue from the beginning of last century) said that anger is composed of misaligned creative energy and misdirected willpower. Always found that a fascinating idea, and it comes up again hearing this young man talking about his stuckness. I hope he finds himself a new tribe and a new adventure (or the other way around) ❤

I have an ex boyfriend who left hockey. He had a full ride to Boston University and didn’t end up going pro. He plays in adult leagues and referees children’s games. That is his way to stay in the game. My ex boyfriend works in a field that has nothing to do with hockey and sports. He is a store manager who is looking to become a regional manager. Monterey is a beautiful place to live. Before you move to Texas, look up their property taxes. The government has to make its money somehow when it doesn’t have an income tax. With firefighting you are serving your community. It’s a great place to land even if you don’t feel passionately about firefighting like you do about baseball. There might not be another career about which you feel that passionate. Does my ex boyfriend feel passionately about store management or any of the other jobs that he’s had since hockey? No. He doesn’t mind the career and he has a full life outside of store management. Kind of like everyone else who goes to work and didn’t find their zen through their career. Maybe find a therapist who helps athletes transition to life after sports.

@JudePi-jx7yo

2 күн бұрын

Lots of good advice here.

I’d also encourage anyone who is having these feelings of anger and rage to look at a couple other things as well. The first one is simple and it’s tracking what time of day you’re seeing these issues the most. Are you hungry? A lot of people have blood sugar issues and their moods change drastically when they haven’t had anything to eat in a while. Getting hangry isn’t always noticeable by you and it can feel a lot like everyone and everything around you is driving you crazy. After lunch, this calms a bit. So look into that and bring it up next doctors appointment. Similarly, lack of sleep can make you very irritable. So definitely look at these diet and lifestyle factors that could be contributing to those feelings. Next, it could be spiritual. Look at your life, your vices, what you are prioritizing, etc. If you’re drinking to the point of getting drunk, engaging in bad habits, not giving thanks, looking out only for yourself and not others…that can rot your soul and cause you to be prideful and angry. Practice kindness and charity. Fight the selfishness. Do for others-expecting no praise. Offer up your suffering for past misdeeds. We are body and soul. When we are angry, it’s because something is misaligned.

@professorpurp970

2 күн бұрын

Good points! You're an awesome person. Have a badass day.

I'm in the same boat, I just graduated college and have been so frustrated that I haven't been able to land a Job in my career field and I currently hate one of the jobs im working at now, but I just started going training to be a professional wrestler to try to help relieve some of that anger and bitterness.

This was a good call because the caller gave concise information and had good insight even though he wasn't sure why he felt the way he feels.

I was 16 and had redone my room, top to bottom, painted, tore up the carpet and laid down tile. Did it all. Got to live in it for 6 months, had to go live with my grandma for reasons, and then the house was sold a few months later. That was ten years ago. It’s done irreparable damage to my reward drive and I find it difficult to do anything that requires a moderate amount of effort because it feels like it won’t be worth it. Or that I won’t be there to even get the reward for my effort and it’s still an ever present worry

@sarahbrown5763

2 күн бұрын

Try to think about the work you did as good practice and making you better at all the things you did. Also maybe give yourself credit for helping the family make the house worth more money.

@professorpurp970

2 күн бұрын

The material world isn't where satisfaction is gained from. The most rewarding tasks are those done on the mind. With that perspective you learned when your brain wasn't fully formed, nothing being worth it is 100% guaranteed if you don't even put in the effort to begin with. When you put in the effort, good results aren't guaranteed, but it increases the probability of a desired outcome. It's the effort that matters and it's what you should find a way to reward yourself for. Something small/healthy you enjoy-- a nice meal, a good coffee, etc. Andrew Huberman has a great podcast that covers the dopaminergic reward system in our brain. Lastly, I was kicked out at 17 and I had to live with my grandparents too. When we're 16 we have a lot less control over circumstance. Now that you're older your labor can't possibly equal anything less than something profitable whether physically tangible or not. Labor = Profit is a universal law. Good luck, some things turn out better than you can imagine.

@mariaking4950

2 күн бұрын

That's really tough and I feel for you. Dealing with disappointment and not letting it dominate your life is what will build character and confidence. Life is full of let-downs, that's just a fact. Try to be strong and take it not just on the chin but as a real challenge....set another goal, pick yourself up and keep going! Read "If" by Rudyard Kipling.Good luck my friend.

@pld-wc7gf

2 күн бұрын

Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to anyone. If you have a home to live in, you have a better life than a lot of people.

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974

Күн бұрын

@hag8752 are we related?! Wow! I identify so much with feeling like efforts are discarded and not wanting to try again 🥹❤️

Thank you Justine and John for this call, it helped me 🙏🏻

Delony nailed this one. I have direct experiences in this dude's whole story. He sounds like a stud. Move to Texas, get a job anywhere to start. Settle in and plan your future. You need a change of scenery. I have a feeling my man will be ridiculously successful in life once he's able to move on.

Gosh Dr. D you’re so incredible. I smiled through this so big because the passion you have for sports came through big time. The way this man called in and needed to hear exactly what you said is just magical. A lot of young man can benefit from this page.

I know this story bc I lived it as well. Overbearing dad who had a terrible temper and full of anger and you live with that and it turns into your own anger. You play baseball and love it and then it’s gone. Jesus was looking for me and I didn’t even realize it and He is what I needed. He took away the anger and gave me a new identity. Instead of anger it’s calm. Instead of love for things of the world it’s love of God and the things of God and Gods people. Focus on Christ. Go to church, talk to that friend or family member

@SteveWillNotDoIt1984

2 күн бұрын

Fair enough. But honestly, where do you get your info in order to come to that conclusion? My son has terrible terrible anger issues, and instead of getting help for it, he constantly says that I was an overbearing dad with anger issues. Keep in mind, that I've only spanked him two times in his life, the last time when he was 12, and I've probably yelled at him less than 10 times in 20 years, even though I'm a single father and his mother was never in his life since he was 4 months old. We have so many young men nowadays, running around blaming their problems on their dads, that it's a snowball rolling down a hill. Every young man of this generation now feels like any issues they have mentally or emotionally, or sometimes even physically, they have to just blame on their old man

I was this kid on my early 30s except I was depressive and not angry. I got fed up and moved halfway across the country with no plan. 2 years later I'm making great money, good job in a field I never would have thought I'd be in what so ever. Feels so good to just make progress.

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974

Күн бұрын

I'm 22, thank you for giving me hope 🙏🏿❤️

This used to be me (non baseball) I went to therapy with the attitude (nothings wrong with me but I’ll try it) and it opened the flood gates. I realized I had traumas/ deep wounds from my childhood I had been suppressing with the business of life. I was angry ALL THE TIME. I too couldn’t control it. 2 years later I’m not perfect, but man do I have more peace now that I’ve worked through those things. Praying for you Justin, I’ve been there. Put in the work, go to therapy, love yourself enough to do the healing work and you’ll be a better man for it

@kayligo

2 күн бұрын

Sounds like you found a great therapist! Any advice when looking for one?

@DudeSweet072

2 күн бұрын

Nice

A buddy of mine played division one football and played in a huge bowl game. He played against guys now famous that you would know the names and he was a rock star heading to the NFL. Until, he blew his knee out at the end of his junior year. Today he's the best Dad ever with a beautiful family and a very successful leader in business. Being great in sports can be evil or an incredible gift. My buddy is humble and not bitter. It will destroy you if you let it but it's also your secret weapon because you understand teamwork, getting the job done and what brings on success while knowing how fortunate you were to get there in the first place. And, most importantly it's just a game. John was the right guy to call because he inspired the caller to just get out there and be himself and experience life. He's a sharp young guy that will do very well if he choses. And, John knows baseball so even better. Nothing is going to break. Wishing this guy all the best.

It's hormones, I was the same way at 22. 32 now and have a better temperament and can control my emotions better.

@EXDna

Күн бұрын

Its perspective man. That's an excuse. Regardless of how you feel, you have what you think, know, experienced. Most of us, unfortunately, learn by doing and failing. The lucky ones can learn by listening

Mediation helped me with anger , it mentally rides you of baggage , you learn about the nature of the mind and can start to relax

FEELS! So much pressure when it feels like you always have to prove something just to stay stable in any relationship I'm 22 and boy it has been definitely a triggering thing until I decided to just pace myself and trust that I am loved regardless even if it seems delusional to your own self within your reality. Sending prayers to everyone ✌️🙏

@vickimerritt2832

Күн бұрын

Try to get a job on a ranch, hard work but you need to deprogram from the performance mode. Try several things to find you.😊

I would do anything to live in Monterey CA. Don't give up that peace. I'm 31, dropped out of college with a semester left. Don't let the pressure get to you. I make 6 figures now doing exactly what I was going to school for. It GETS BETTER.

That is the transition of any life altering experience.

I applaud this young man for calling in. I really admire someone when they can talk about their true problems. I wish him all the best. ❤❤❤❤Don't give up. ❤❤❤❤

This was brilliant!!!

Monterey is the most beautiful city right on the Ocean. Not a small town with nothing going on. I live in Santa Cruz Learn to surf, help at the Aquarium, go on boats to help count the fish 🐟 So so so much to do here.

Brilliant ❤❤❤ fantastic ep…really spoke to me, good luck Justin - home run!❤

My ex was like this he was unlivivable and everything we did set him off, then it turned physical on me and the kids. He still is like this and his life is a mess now. Get help asap please!

@araceliramirez7315

2 күн бұрын

My ex would get mad all the time and yell at me infront of my kids and his once. Criticize me and my kids. He broke up with me every 2 months when he'd get mad over anything. He never got physical with me but living on eggshells feeling like crap about yourself sucks! Hope you found someone that truley loves you and treats you with respect❤️

@rustyshackleford6637

2 күн бұрын

How do they help this

@JustinCase780

2 күн бұрын

Oh jeez...this call is not about your loser past guys ladies. 😅

@IHateNicolasCage

2 күн бұрын

@@JustinCase780 Men are gauged on what they can provide, as you know. This man is realizing he cannot provide with the one thing he has been great at, and that his identity is wrapped up in. This listlessness and depression is easy to see. He needs to reset the expectations of his entire life, and that is difficult when you have been laser focused on one thing. He feels, right now, like a failure and he doesn't know how to move on to something else. From a man's perspective this is easy to diagnose, but admittedly difficult to cure. You nailed this of course because you understand it. It has nothing to do with any woman and is likely not a long term indicator of behavior, he just needs a new mechanism to channel it.

@billmcnealofwnyxnewyork464

2 күн бұрын

@@JustinCase780This is about finding direction in life, it’s not a relationship call in the least.

love hearing about a family getting closer

@SassyL62

Күн бұрын

or the hope of

Prayer and meditation helps a lot friend. Find the answer to why you're so angry. Exercise too. If you're _Mad at Dad_ and can't stand religion, try reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

yup. can totally relate. I felt this way after my college ball career ended. I immediately felt isolated and so lost, so I got into coaching. Not sure what I'll do after that, though.

God knew I needed this episode

Wasn’t a D1 athlete like this guy but I was a very competitive athlete all through HS. Being a ball player was a massive part of my identity and when I gave it up after enjoying the initial freedom of just being a regular college student I started to feel a pretty big void in my life. It’s a very difficult transition when a sport has been your highest priority and then it’s suddenly over. You feel very lost. What this guy is struggling with is normal for someone in his shoes. He’s going to be fine. He also seems pretty smart and articulate for a 22 year old. He just needs to find his next path in life. He’ll probably find a lot of success in whatever he does.

Eyyy another Monterey person. I find that I've moved to anger quicker when things feel out of control. It's an attempt to try to control and hold on to whatever I can. For some reason when I was younger my first go to negative emotion was anger even if I was sad. Emotions weren't really embraced too much in my household when I was growing up. Maybe you are going through something similar? When I started to identify what I was really feeling and rechanneled the energy into the correct feeling the anger actually went away for me over time. But it definitely took a minute because the other emotions were harder for me and felt really uncomfortable and vulnerable.

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974

Күн бұрын

Thank you so much 🥹❤️

It's hard not to be angry in your 20s nowadays. The economic has been on the downturn for a decade now, housing is overpriced, inflation through the roof, companies require years of experience for entry level roles

I’m full of rage . 21 here

A big life transition and extreme disappointment happening simultaneously at his age feels like the end of the world. I felt like that as a teen mom at 18 but actually I love my life! I’m not even 40 and my kid is going to college already lol 😝 it’ll get better with life experience and seeing more than what’s in front of you at your worst. I’m rooting for you!

He sounds deppressed Anger is a sign of depprresion

The answer is in the title of the video, Justin san. You're 22. Keep going. Always keep going.

He sounds like such a nice young man. Post college is a tough time. Big shift. Didn’t like that time at all. Hope he finds his happiness. He deserves it!

I feel the same rage and i wish i was your age. I watched my husband of 30 years die and i still get trigged fast...PTSD

Same here at 46. This seething rage just below the surface I'll be fine going good and one little thing will just throw me into a rage. Been that way since I was a kid. Don't know where it comes from.

@dhall936

2 күн бұрын

Same here at 45. Im outwardly quiet and self effacing, but there's always been a deep sea of rage, anger and judgment for others beneath the surface. Felt like ive never had complete agency in my life and dont know how to do the work to move forward to have peace and stability. For those out there at any age feeling the same way, hope you can move beyond this.

You forgot to bring up health issues that could be a cause of anger and anxiety. The first thing I would suggest is a full medical check up. Iron, thyroid, hormones, blood sugar,vitamin d , sleep, caffeine such as red bulls, coffee, soft drinks.

@kelsiemitchell8499

2 күн бұрын

Yes, and mental health like depression, etc.! It seems like sports was just a temporary outlet for him. I am surprised it wasn’t mentioned first.

I hope this young man can make this transition. He sounds smart, insightful and wants to conquer this. Our world needs real men these days! Best of luck finding a way forward with new friendships and work life.

@Justin I can empathise with this completely. I'm a 36 year old Englishman, who's about to have his first child, and I've decided to leave the Computer Games industry as it's chronically underpaid and overworked. I spent my adult life chasing that dream, joining the industry, and working in it for 8 years...only to realise it was naive and selfish of me. I'm changing careers and ever since deciding to do so, my frustration and anger has increased rapidly - much to the concern of my wonderful wife. We feel as though we've wasted time, or become a failure; but we're only going to be a failure if we don't realise this change is necessary, and move on from it. We're dealing with the perception of instability and a lack of forward movement, I believe; and once we pick the momentum up and start making progress in our new direction, I think we'll feel far better.

I understand this young man. My frustration turned to rage after realizing life was not actually going to get better (which had been the hope that carried me along) but, quite the contrary, it just keeps getting worse, decade after decade. The realization that life has no value and God doesn't care, broke me for a long time. I genuinely do not understand how everyone isn't full of rage.

@jeffreykromer325

2 күн бұрын

Hey man, I just want to say I have no idea what you’re going through but God does love and care about you more than you ever could know. He will help you if you ask for it. I know he did for me.

@j.davila4523

6 сағат бұрын

Try shrooms bro

No clue if this is applicable for this guy, but LONG TERM alcohol abstinence & sobriety helps overall outlook and mood. Short term it don’t feel like it and at 22 he may be feeling this way not realizing the relationship. Also, growing into adulthood is challenging. Good for him for recognizing and wanting to address before it develops into a bigger problem.

Why did you make this video for me? Too close to home.

@ivanherrera3088

2 күн бұрын

Facts.

I feel the same kinda, I played baseball n feel lik I lost my identity when it ended n have also had severe anxiety my entire life

aw..i could cry 😢

I hear some self sabotage. He was playing ball got into a toxic relationship and was drinking a lot. Everything went south and he quit playing ball.

Yes ,we all have that cz we didn't find anything that make us happy ,find something that for you ,you will care less about other

So glad he decided this before kids and a mortgage. It becomes tougher the more you stack on

@helloanonymous9288

2 күн бұрын

Why do you think he's going to have children?

I’m 47 years old, I’ve worked 2-full time jobs all my life. I manage to own a piece of the American dream in 2021. I find myself frustrated all the time. I anticipate all the cost of owning especially with property tax, insurance, maintenance. I’m exhausted, frustrated all the time, and I feel like my future will stay the same if I don’t make drastic changes. Therefore, I’m putting my house up for sale. Thank God the market where I’m at is still strong and I have equity. This is the only way I can find rest. ❤😊

So glad I remarried a man who had done his body work in therapy. It’s an emotionally honest relationship as a result. Men expressing disappointment, sadness and other feelings of loss and rejection as anger is socially acceptable. Truly appreciate Dr.Delony keeping his male callers honest. There’s such a ripple effect throughout all their relationships.

Achievements and dreams not being met, having to keep parts of your true self secret from the world and your family so you aren’t judged and rejected(sexuality etc) , poor romantic success, people abandoning you over the years etc……all this can fill a young man especially with rage.

Man...kind of envious of this kid. He's me down to a t, but I would just dissociate throughout my 20s dealing with a lack of a life and a hard profession...until someone close to me had a near life ending experience and I got involved in their mental health care. I started working on me and then lockdowns happened months later for two years...so now I am in my 30s and in this same place again. He's got an extra decade, keep going kid, you got this..try something big for 2 years. If it doesn't work, try something new again for 2 years. You don't need to figure it out by 25. Some stability by 28 is a good goal, whether great friends or marriage, a career, or financial freedom of some sort.. give yourself time to try things and gain momentum in different aspects of life.

What he is feeling is frustration...of things not going the way he invision in his mind...and as a result of he not coming into terms with his own frustration...is what is causing his anger or more so... he being irritable often or more than normal.

I wish he said more then yeah this was a great call

A perfect candidate to hear and digest Jordan Peterson’s lectures.

I have a short temper too mainly with strangers like road rage and out in the public. That's why I avoid being around people.

@californiadreamer2580

2 күн бұрын

I used to have a similar problem. Therapy/ counseling helped a lot! I'm not a particularly " social" person to begin with, but learning skills to successfully manage my frustrations, anxiety, anger and short fuse ( self control) when I was younger helped immensely. At this point , I haven't developed health issues that result, related to those emotions, like high blood pressure, etc. ❤Not to mention avoiding "physical effects" like incarceration.

"If men cannot struggle on behalf of a just cause they will struggle for the sake of struggle.They will struggle, in other words out of a certain boredom: for they cannot imagine living in a world without struggle." -Francis Fukuyama

I feel like this, but I was diagnosed with bpd

Keep tabs on your thoughts when you get frustrated or angry and follow trains/sequences of thoughts to a source. This is a process. If the source is a thoughtof a person or people, try to figure out the sequence of their thoughts. Prepare yourself, if you can add something positive that's great, if not, limit your time with some people or avoid them. Remember, a bowling ball doesn't have to hit every pin to knock them all down. If your train/sequence brings you to cigarette smoke or something like that, stay away from it.

same, but 10 years further down the road

I cried

So you're looking at the presenting issue, and then asking about the root of anger. He had hope and expectations for a future that builds an identity he can walk into. But the job, or career could never be the identifier for who he is. Anger started as a child, he said, so he seemed to be saying he senses he was not enough to hold his father's attention and mom had her own way of displaying emotions where dad did not. Anger and depression are what are familiar to him. He could learn to develop a range of emotions.

I swear the caller is reading my profile. How are we in the exact same scenarios?

I get angry because people piss me off. If they would stop, I wouldn’t get angry. The older I get, the better I’m able to use it creatively.

This is so me lately lol idk if it's prejudice or anxiety at times but ill be praying bc the Holy Spirit changes things

Someday you will be out somewhere and someone will come up and wrap you in a big hug and yell "this is the man that saved my grandpas life!!!!". And you won't remember who that patient was because there have been soooo many. Happened to me, I guarantee it will happen to you.

David Googins comes to mind

If you know your parents love you and your just trying to deal with some stuff first thing is do whatever you gotta do to have a relationship with your parents and loved ones. One day you’ll wake up and they aren’t there anymore and you lost that chance and then you have one more huge thing your trying to deal with.I’ve lost two brothers, both parents three friends and one cousin in the last five years and it sucks. You don’t get a chance to redo your last words to those you love and the bad thing is you never know when your last words to anyone will be..

It’s called depression. In our society anger is the only socially acceptable emotion for men to express. He needs to talk with a counselor, have a good cry and develop a support system outside of sports.

i am 24 and same. I get mad at my bf or mom for no reason

Fire depts are struggling to hire nationwide. He could move to almost anywhere and get on one, if he’s interested.

Someone I know was angry all the time like this. She went to the doctor and was diagnosed with diabetes, at like 18. Once she began taking insulin, she felt a lot better and wasn’t angry all the time. Maybe you should get a blood test and look for a medical reason for your anger before getting all psychoanalytical.

I personally gave up on life 15 and a half yrs ago

A good gym and a good Jesus following church would also do this young man a world of good.

When he said he's "living with his aunt and uncle in Monterey", who else heard "Bel Air" 😆

I live in central coast California if u want to be friends Justin 😊

This is a complete reprogramming of ones body, soul- all the way from a cellular, physical, emotional, spiritual, and hierarchical level.

All your life you work hard on a plan, and then it just fizzles. It's disorienting until you find your next passion. The small town is not the place to be right now for you. You might enjoy the EMT gig in another place if you try it, but if not try something else.

21 and same

Part and parcel of maturing, as you realize life is not a piece of cake and you are not going to get most of what yoy want. This guy must learn that he is entitled to his feelings and they may be valid, but he is not entitled to take his anger and disappointment out on anyone else. He needs to find other ways of coping..