I'm 34, and let me tell you my absolutely favorite thing about early/mid 30's: you're old enough to have the wisdom to understand how young you still are.

@kellyhopchin2922

Ай бұрын

Honestly, kind of needed to read this. I'm 29 next month and I'm so afraid.

@shelleydenison

Ай бұрын

@@kellyhopchin2922 welcome to the best years of your life, my friend 🧡

Happy Birthday Cheyenne! From your Pre-cal teacher-Ms. Suarez! So proud of all of your accomplishments!

A few years ago (I'm about to turn 50 years old and I'm from Sweden) I came across this poem by Kristina Lugn on the street one day (roughly translated) "There is grief in living. If you don't understand that you'll never be happy". It blew my mind. And I'm someone that doesn't understand poems, at all. (Not sure if it was supposed to be a poem though) It's really hitting hard now that my parents, my friends, we're all ageing and we're starting to be closer to the end than the beginning of life. There's not much one can do about it but it is so very saddening. It is grief. On a lighter note I love how you dealt with your inner critic by saying "I love you" every time you said or thought something bad about yourself. I'm definitely going to try that out for myself. Much love and Happy Birthday from Sweden!

I'm turning 35 on the 20th, and this made me all sentimenty thinking back to turning 30, and how at peace i was to be hitting that age. 5 years down the line, I'm still peaceful. My life is cozy and warm, i get to play pretend with my friends too. And I love myself, I love the things I used to hate (my body, my armpit hair, my loud laugh, my autistic mind). I'm so happy I made it here. I'm so proud of teenage Fern for not giving up. I'm proud of 19 year old Fern for moving out on her own. I'm proud of 31 year old Fern for leaving a relationship that was bad for her. And I'm proud of 35 year old Fern for still being happy to learn and grow. I'm proud of every piece, part, and aspect of my journey. Happy 30th Chey, and welcome to the next leg of your journey

@shelleydenison

Ай бұрын

I love this so much! I turn 35 this year too, and I just feel so much peace about my age and about the passing of time.

@ozzyy2886

Ай бұрын

omg we have the same birthday, although i turn 18 on the 20th! i think reflecting on age and experience is valuable at every point in life and i really hope that i will have a peaceful cozy time in my 30s (yes in a long time but still). im so grateful that im as young as i am, and at the point of loving myself and working through the bad things in the past. i find these accounts of people older than me to be very comforting because maybe adulthood isnt as scary and chaotic as it seems and maybe i will get my peaceful cottagecore and knit/crochet dream

@polarknight856

Ай бұрын

Me too! It feels nice to be older and able to pass down my knowledge and life experiences to younger friends :)

sobbing, crying, weeping... this is such a lovely reminder to be kind to ourselves, and that there's always a better tomorrow on the horizon. I'm about to graduate college and have been a twinge frightened of moving onto the next phase of my life, so thank you for sharing all your thoughts on this stuff 💕 happy happy birthday!!

cheyenne, you might not see this comment, but i’m 24 now and have been so cruel and unkind to myself with my self-talk. your video made me believe i’ll get better and that life only gets bigger, that the world doesn’t end because i feel myself not living up to what i want. thank you for this video, it feels like a warm hug 🍁

oof, this really hits. im at a pretty large turning point in life, and am extremely nostalgic and sentimental all the time. i've been doing so many things to revel in nostalgia, like playlists, content, etc. because i just Want It Back. there is so much i long for and it's basically adult-ified childhood. the wonder, joy, laughter, fun, and beauty of adolescence but in a grown context. i'm not near turning 30, but i totally relate to your experiences with sentimentalism and nostalgia, and not wanting to let it go, or just wanting to go back. i understand. thank you for this video

Hi Cheyenne, I've been subscribed to you since pretty much the beginning and I remember those sad videos in the small apartment and how comforting they were at the time. I turned 30 in January and feel like I could have made this exact same video. That journey of self-love is one I've been on for at least the last decade and to be in a place where I can truly say I like who I am is a wonderful revelation. I'm very much enjoying being 30 so far. I spent so much of my early 20s wishing I was older and so much of my late 20s wishing I was younger, I feel just right now. Thank you so much for making this and I hope you enjoy being 30! 💛

You shine so bright Chey

@apple.cheeks

Ай бұрын

After I turned 25, I also felt a sense of dread and sadness that everyone else around me was getting older and that time was still moving on even when we aren't ready for it to. Now I'm almost 27 and lots of these feelings are bubbling over, thank you for sharing from where you are now it's comforting :')

preemptive grief is exactly what i’d call that feeling. i’ve been feeling it a lot lately, esp watching my parents get older while they live far away, wishing i could spend more time with them than i am currently able to. also the visual of looking back and seeing all your past versions of yourself resonates so hard for me. i picture my younger selves as nesting dolls that live in my chest right next to my heart, and sometimes i metaphorically take them all out and line them all up and check in with them and let them express whatever they’re feeling or thinking about our present life, then once they’ve expressed themselves, i stack them all back up inside themselves and tuck them in to my chest next to my heart, and wait for when i hear them rattling around when they need to be heard again. all that to say, this was emotionally cathartic and comforting and wonderful to listen to, and i love you so much, all the way from the other side of the country, happy birthday you beautiful wonderful ethereal human 💕

I relate to this SO much. The exact same thing happened to me at the same age. 29 was the onset and I turned 31 a few weeks ago and the moderate to severe existential dread has only just started to settle. Likely because I’ve found some life direction to distract me lol. Preemptive grief is a pretty good way of describing it tbh. Wishing you well from someone the world away but a mile apart 🥹🌙

Crying on the floor of my childhood bedroom listening to this rn I turned 21 a couple months ago and I’m in the same situations I was in at 16 when I was the most mentally ill (pre medicated). I live with my parents bc I can’t afford to move out despite my best efforts and it’s so easy to have a feeling of downward spiral and being stuck. I graduated college and nothing has changed. I was diagnosed with autism and adhd as an adult and I’m on the same track you were of trying to heal those childhood patterns of self hatred, but I don’t have the space to do so bc I’m where it all happened

I went into this video thinking it'd be a chill chatty video and now I'm feeling so... grounded and reflective and hopeful. I've been watching your videos for 7 years now (I was 17, now 24) and aging has always made me so scared because I wonder if I'll ever get to live any life that'd be happy. It's been rough, but I like the process of looking back at your younger self and talking to them. I'm thinking back to 17 year old me and I was so devastatingly sad. I didn't think I would ever see my 20s. Now I've come to a place where I'm loving myself where I'm at, I feel so confident in the person I'm growing into. I've looked up to you for so long now and it feels like I've got to watch an internet big sister do all the scary things before I do and it makes me less scared to go through it myself. I've been made brave by your videos and sincere thoughts and ramblings. (Not to mention you've been so kind to me in IG dms the random times I reply to your stories or have something to tell you :D I know answering strangers can take a lot of mental energy so it's really meant the world). I hope you have an amazing birthday and thank you so much for sharing this video with us. I finished the video 10 minutes ago and I'm still crying haha. I'm so happy to call myself a Cheyenne Barton fan 💛💛💛 Take care! - Sarah

Is anyone here 40 or is it just me? My body hurts most days, I need to keep a check on what I eat / drink every day day after day else my body starts to behave badly, I feel like perimenopause is coming up or already happening with me right now, I am surely having a sort of a mid life crisis. Iv come out of depression and deal with anxiety every day. I am single, divorced, design entrepreneur who is also dating someone 15 years younger and there are days I feel like idk what the fuck I'm doing despite trying my best every day. Ageing is hard but also cathartic at times. This video resonated so much with me, you've expressed it beautifully. you're special Cheyenne! HBD

I'm turning 27 soon and everything you said I really relate to. From the ADHD diagnosis (still trying to find a med that doesn't also trigger anxiety 😢) and that melancholy feeling. I remember last summer telling my therapist it almost felt like nostalgia and grief for what I thought the world would be like as a child and how it compares to the real thing. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and yourself!

As someone who has just entered her twenties, this video really hit home for me. You're such an inspiration to me Cheyenne! Onwards and upwards!

I just turned 30 a couple days before you, and can totally understand the whole sentiment about it. Turning 30 feels so big, so grand, yet its just another day, kind of. A lot of my co workers are in their early 20''s, and they always asked me about my thoughts about getting older. During talks with them I realized: getting older isn't too scary, and that I'm excited for my 30's. That I am grateful and happy to have made it until here. 2024 so far is about being nicer and more compassionate toward myself. This video was a nice and gentle reminder that everything will be okay eventually. Lots of love and happy belated birthday dear cheyenne! ♥

I’ve looked back on my journal and at some point I started occasionally ending entries with “remember I love you, even if you don’t love you” and I think that’s lovely. Congratulations on a new decade dear🥰🎉

I secretly establish a one-woman fan club for every single pet of my favorite illustrator/youtuber in my mind and from now on, I want to be referred as the president of Pepper fan club. Thank you.

i've got a few weeks left of 29...holding onto this beautiful video for the time between. honestly i never thought i'd get here- my 20s were like a whole lifetime of woes and trials, and being here feels like the end and the beginning all over again. i've had little breakthroughs in habit, understanding that i'll grow older, that i will, that i am, that i want to. let's all get into our 30s!

Well at the age of 73years old.I am moving from a place I loved.But it is not safe for me here anymore.The years go by so fast.Your at a age of great life.A d your art will help you through this.

Wow, I resonated so much with almost everything you said. I just turned 30 this past October and can honestly say I think it's going to be the best decade yet. Hoping the same for you! PS I also have a Pepper cat 😂

@marissah7765

Ай бұрын

PPS Happy birthday!! 🎂

lots of love!

I did not have crying on my to-do list today. This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing part of your meaningful milestone with us. Wishing you a very happy birthday. 🎂🌸

Happy Birthday! I definitely have been feeling this with noticing things about myself that weren't present when I was younger. I'm 28 now, but have noticed changes on my face, body, and movements. But at the same time, I know that I'm excited to get older and see what the future holds. My 20s held so much sadness and pain from just trying to figure life out.

Happy birthday to such an inspirational person!

Thank you for this glimpse into your thoughts and experience with turning 30. I personally am still 29 right now and I will admit it's been on my mind a lot. I still have 9 months until my 30th and I'm terrified, nervous, scared but also at ease knowing that 30s is when you have the wisdom to understand how life truly is and built your personal identity. There's so much pressure to get everything right during your teens and 20s that it seems silly looking back thinking everything had to be solidified then. I aim for my 30s to be a time of exploring and freedom. Freedom of expectations and people pleasing, and exploration of languages, cultures, hobbies and countries. I am both looking forward to and dreading turning 30. While I do have a baby face so I generally receive compliments for my youthful appearance, I can't help but notice the ever-increasing crease across my forehead and the deepening laughter lines. Such a strange time to be alive. Happy birthday and my sincerest wishes for your happiness, love and joy moving into this new chapter of your life. ♥

I turn 30 this September and I've been feeling like I've already turned 30 two years ago. And just a few days ago it kinda hit me that "Oh, my brain has already been set to 30 that I didn't really fully enjoy being 28 or 29." Not that it will feel any different, as you said, but I got sad because I didn't let myself fully enjoy the ending of my 20s. I'll never be 29 again... And I started crying when you were talking about Inner Child work and talking to your 14 and 16 year old self. Uff.. I felt that, because that's how I used to talk to myself too. And same as you, now I have only love for myself, even when it get's hard. What you said in this video resonated so much with my current situation. Thanks for this. Sending love! ❤

I am only 22. Recently I started to feel kinda nostalgic about the past and at the same time excited for all the future awaiting. I follow you since I was in my first year of highschool and now just a few days ago I graduated college (yes I studied digital art

This was so beautiful. I am heading into my 30s soon and I always had a fear about getting older. I was literally crying. this was just so beautiful! It made me think of all the times I talk to myself so harshly. I cant remember if i ever said " I love you" to myself. you are inspiring.💚

What's great about aging is the many things, people, experiences, and knowledge we gain, yet also lose, along the way. Even though it is sad to see our ages increase over time, never able to relive what and who we've lost, who we are now will always be a museum of our entire lives. Here's to gaining more paintings in our museum. 😌🙏🥂

I'm so late but happy belated birthday to a very wise-beyond-her-years 30yo! I didn't expect to tears up at the gym this morning and yet here I am! 😅 What you said starting @7:04 reminded me of a poem I read a few months ago on IG and didn't save (!!!) but it was something along the lines of : "I hope when you come back home to yourself. There will be flowers lined on the porch to cheer you up. Left by all the other versions of the woman you used to be." I wish I could remember what it was exactly and mostly who the author is, if someone can help!

I'm really needing this wisdom and comfort as someone who is in the phase of being cruel to myself and not having any support for adhd and feeling like a failure all the time. thank you for sharing your thoughts, everything you said is a big comfort to me.

I related to this so much. 2 years into my 30s and it is genuinely a lovely time. Im doing more for me and its so amazing. Including playing D&D too! I never thought Id be the type to not only play but love it and look forward to the weekly sessions. Life is something.

I have been watching you for 5+ years and I feel as though I have grown with you. While we are at very different stages in life (I am turning 22 in a few weeks), I have learned and grown up watching your videos! This one in particular really hit and I wanted to thank you for making it feel so hopeful. I am on the precipice of big life changes that are exciting and terrifying, but knowing my life could end up even a little like yours is such a huge comfort. Thank you for creating and happy happy birthday!

Man I needed this today. Very well done , sending you much love :)

You are such a lovely person. Happiest of birthdays to you!

Yeah YOU are great! Happy birthday to you 🎂 Thankyou for being here and thank you for being a little warm gentle beautiful creative inspiring part of my life, love you too!

you described exactly how I have been feeling.. Im only in my mid twenties but I feel a heavy sense of what I call anticipatory grief. Its a heavy feeling, but the only way I can think to cope with it is by enjoying the present and spending time with those you love. Wishing you the best!

I found you through the bujo community way back in 2016 and I didn't get hooked on your videos until that one video when you first moved to Seattle in 2017 (I think?). I remember you were in your dark kitchen and my heart just broke for you because I remember feeling that same exact way, and you felt like a kindred spirit, like, "I'm not alone in this; this feeling is hard and heartbreaking, but not something to hide." You helped me try and be kind to myself, and while I still have my struggles with that, I watch your videos and they make me smile and remind me to be kind. This is random, but you also taught me that mediocrity with hobbies is acceptable. I would wave off a hobby I've been wanting to try because I was afraid of being bad at it. Like, huh? So what? If I want to make pottery I'll make it! The PNW can be so tough (I'm from Oregon). The SAD and winter sunsets at 4pm are rough, but I'm so happy to be seeing your progression through the years and how you stayed in Seattle, because it really is a great city. Happy 30th!

Happy Birthday Cheyenne and thank you for making this video.

Thanks for the reminder to be kind to ourselves now and for those littles ones inside us ❤ Happy birthday Cheyenne!

Happy birthday, Chey!

Happy Birthday!!

happy birthday cheyenne xx

as it gets nearer to my birthday and i’m getting closer to 30 myself… this makes me very very sentimental. very beautiful video chey 🤍

Happy Birthday!!🥳

Happy Birthday! ❤

Love this and love you. Happy birthday Cheyenne ❤ welcome to 30 🤗

Happy birthday! and happy new decade! I always love watching you're videos and you are a big inspiration to me. You're amazing, keep crying and laughing and feeling, do whatever makes you happy and keep being you!

thank you! this felt very healing to watch 🌿🌸

Happy birthday to you 💓

A late happy birthday! Thank you for this video. Your words are just what I needed today. ❤

Hello, This was the sweetest post. Hitting 30 is definitely a special time of looking back, but also looking foward. How lovely that you have cultivated the maturity to do so with love, compassion, and gratitude. ❤

You’ve come such a long way Cheyenne❤We love you and you are indeed amazing 🫶💕

Happy Birthday! 🎉🎂❤️ 30 are good!

happy birthday Cheyenne! love you!

i have been watching you since 2017/18 (when i was 16) and i am now 23. this has been my favorite video of yours by far, i feel like ive grown up with you. and seeing your radical self acceptance flourish in your monologues has been so beautiful

Happy Birthday!

thank you for this video; it was so lovely and reassuring and your genuineness is so refreshing

Сheyenne, thank for it ❤ and Happy birthday😻

this is so beautiful

currently stuck waiting for the end of the year when the things already planned to change my living situation will happen and just waiting and feeling like I'm wasting away until then I'm very glad you're feeling good about turning 30 and I hope you have a happy birthday!

happy birthday Cheyenne! 🥹💜

This was such an emotional and touching video. I was weeping with you. You are a beautiful person and I love you. Im new to your channel and I feel like i’m visiting with a good friend when I watch and listen to your videos. Happy Birthday! I hope this new chapter in your life brings you all the wonderful things!

I like how open you are, and I feel like a friend. Thank u for these talks, it been really good and helpfull for me. Happy birthday

Thanks for sharing, Cheyenne ❤ Happy belated birthday!

happy birthday cheyenne ! this was such a beautiful video the ending definitely got me teary eyed ive been watching you since 2017 or something wild like that and we’ve both come so far since then

this was so beautiful. thank you for sharing it with us, Cheyenne ❤️

this was lovely and cozy- i needed it - thank you for making it. wishing you a wonderful year.

I love this type of videos from you! tk

Happy Birthday, Cheyenne. And thank you.

when you mentioned older i audibly went OUUUUU.... that whole album is a punch in the gut, but it's also this hug, it encapsulates so much of the sadness that exists in life, in the fact we lose things and time is running out and everything is so scary because it ends... but that is also what makes them worth, the fact things end. it's a hopeless cycle we can't stop, only live in it. on a more cheerful note, a song about aging and looking back that cheers me up is laufey's 'a letter to my 13 year old self', it makes me cry happy tears!! this video, maybe because you made then when you were still 29, also felt like a letter to your older self. so much kindness in it. here's to one more year on this earth!!!! may this birthday gift you with so much joy that you lose track of it!

Happy birthday ❤

I haven't watched the full video yet, only about a minute and a half in, but I wanted to let you know that your videos and art have influenced who I am incredibly (in the sense of my art practice, confidence, and general outlook on life) and I am happy about that. I started watching your videos when I was 17, going on 18, in 2020. You helped me a lot through my change from a teenager to a ~real adult~ over the past 4 years in a way I can't describe. Maybe just because your videos keeping me company, because I don't have many people to craft and draw with. I hope your transition from 20s to 30s is lovely and full of good times. Thank you for sharing your art with us all, and I hope your birthday was wonderful :)

Happy birthday Chey! This was truly such a lovely video and to see the growth and just the passage of time through videos and just being a viewer of your art is truly incredible to see and brings so much assurance to me that I'm not alone in both experience and emotions. Time continues to go by but here I am, still here.

Happy birthday Chey!!! This was a really lovely video! thank you for making it and sharing it with us! I'm turning 30 next year so I will definetly come back and watch this video is so inspiring.

This video was so, so beautiful. There’s really nothing that I can say that hasn’t already been said by others in the comments, so I just want to say thank you for sharing your story, your vulnerabilities, and your hope. You are a beautiful soul, and the world is so much better because you are in it 🫶🏼 Happy, happy birthday!

Wasn't ready to cry randomly while I worked, but I needed it, thank you

I love the way you spoke about journaling. I recently read some of mine from a few years ago and it's such a gift to have this record of what I was thinking of and caring about. Happy Birthday

cheyenne i was crying at the end right there with you. this was heartwarming and beautiful and helped me feel less alone. cheers to 30 !

LOVE U SO BAD!!!! My misty little eyes :'~) amazing incredible video bepper is the best

Cant even describe to you how helpful it is to hear someone talk about all the things ive felt recently.

thank you for this video, i found myself tearing up many a time while watching this and i think i’ll come back here often. i hope you had a wonderful birthday 🌙

This is so beautiful and gave me all the feelings ❤

Think this is one of your best videos

I've watched from the beginning. I'm so proud of you, how far you've come and all you've been through. I totally understand your feelings. When I turned 60, 2 years ago, I went through similar "feels" moments. The coolest thing is that we are always 29 inside our minds. Our bodies don't keep up. But, we always get to be who we are inside our heads! Free😊

@marykayhaywood7534

16 күн бұрын

AND!!! IT GETS BETTER GIRL!!!

Happiest birthday Cheyenne, I've been watching you for so long it feels like we're growing together.

This is so special cheyenne, thank you so much for sharing your life & learnings with us. Happy birthday, dear! ❤

Thank you for sharing this. Something I think I’ll look back on in 2 years when I reach 30. Maybe I’ll cry even more then haha ❤️

I’ve been meaning to journal about being 30 now but couldn’t quite figure out the words that I have been feeling. This mirrors my thoughts perfectly and now feel inspired. Thank you so much for sharing your reflections. So excited to keep hearing from you ❤

Belated happy birthday Cheyenne! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I totally understand where you are coming from as I had more or less the same thoughts when I turned 30 as well. Enjoy the simple things that life has to offer. Keep on dreaming, keep on learning and evolving into the bestest version of ourselves. Sending you prayers and positive vibes from across the pond. 😊💝

Many happy returns for the day that's in it! I turn 50 this year and at this stage of my life I'm just not bothered about as much anymore, life absolutely flies by, make the most of it, take time to appreciate who and what's important to you. Thank you for sharing, x

Feel so much of this, especially when you got emotional about being grateful for this time of life. I recently said to my mom that I might actually enjoy my birthday next year and I've been happier the last couple of months since getting on anxiety medication

forever inspired by your ability to document and reflect and put thoughts into words, imperfect as they may be. onward and upward ! happiest birthday wishes, sweet chey 💕

I am so incredibly grateful to you for sharing your therapy journey of inner child work and that approach to talking to yourself because have some similar-ish issues of incredibly negative self talk and thinking about talking to a younger me like that is making me also want to bawl my eyes out and boy oh boy will this be something to talk with my own therapist about this week and possibly many weeks and feels like a potential breakthrough.i could not be more grateful. Thank you as always for sharing your vlogs, I always appreciate them so much ❤

Happy Birthday Cheyenne!!! This makes me so nostalgic because I started watching you when you were 23 and I turned 23 last week! You've been such a good company through the years and I'm so grateful to have found your art and your videos!! Sending you loads of love❤

Happy Birthday Cheyenne! I’m so proud of you and I hope you have a wonderful year ahead. You’ll never be 29 again 💖 thank you for this special video

oh how wonderful its been to watch you grow and grow along side you (its a lil parasocail I know) but I'm just a few years younger than you and seem to be going through all this same moments with you, from your journal bulletin and sad videos (I was depressed then too) to now, being late diagnosed ADHD and figuring out how to reframe the awful self talk, I empathize with all those growing pains. So proud of you! cant wait to see where life takes us from here (:

Thanks for sharing your heart with us! This video was thoughtful, introspective, relatable, and caring. Morgan Harper Nichols has a quote/affirmation that says " I making room for things that heal my heart". I like how you discussed music because music is helpful in so many ways! Diane in Denmark here on KZread gives four self-care assignments on her Friday videos and she mentioned finding new music one week and Mariane Cresp also mentioned music in her boost your mood video. Happy Birthday, wishing you joy!