I think its just an escape, like alcohol, or any other thing that makes you feel good for awhile, the problem is it doesn't last and you never get to the root of the problem, so, on and on it goes. Its a release nothing more. If you become bored in a relationship you are looking for some excitement, anything but having to sit and be with what you are and all the shame and guilt that resides within. Therapy is the only way the sooner the better.

@johnton6488

9 ай бұрын

Exactly, and I would like to stress that demonizing people with BPD regarding this and other topic is ridiculous. At least, most of us did what you described, not having any PD. And I totally agree, that intense and long term therapy is currently only and proven way to get better. There is empirical evidence for that.

@bad.chickie66

Ай бұрын

@@johnton6488demonizing NPD is bad too.

I'm 24 from California. I was 11 and abused by my neighbor who was 19. At that time, it didn't look like an abuse to me because I felt i liked him plus, at a point i kept visiting him voluntarily. even after we stopped dating. I'm not totally sure it was the pleasure thou. I didn't often enjoy it. I used sex as a way to punish myself for a lot of years. It was like it wasn't enough to just hurt myself I needed someone else to hurt me. At the same time, i felt like i had a lot of power, no one can call me a victim if i did it to myself right? Those were the thought in my head. I think the "hypersexuality thing" is declining. Though sometimes i still have that urge... you know from my stomach. I've avoided being alone with guys especially older men and tried therapy too. But i guess somehow it only gets better. Thanks for bringing it up, it really needs to be talked about. Why do i feel like I've said too much...

It's the demon of greediness

@cameroncook1932

5 ай бұрын

Npd?

These people with ADHD NPD and BPD should all avoid committed relationships because they can’t be faithful to just one person they always seek attention from people outside their immediate relationship it wrecks everything for the normal person

@nathananderson6987

Ай бұрын

Yes, and I’d give anything to go back in time and tell myself that

@kim_possible1974

Ай бұрын

That’s a pretty generalized statement. Yes, people should heal and learn to love themselves before jumping into a relationship. Does everyone?? No, they do not.

@stmichaeldefendusinbattle9876

8 күн бұрын

@@kim_possible1974you are right about not generalizing, but i would say 90% do! I have this issue and i live in constant pain, shame and regret for all the damage i have done… i have tried so many ways to heal and it seems it just gets worse and worse. So i try not to engage with anyone in more than a casual conversation because i am afraid of how i can hurt them

@LucPerusse

7 күн бұрын

@@stmichaeldefendusinbattle9876

Cheating was always my problem - I hated feeling trapped in a relationship. Ultimately the solution for me was to be in an open relationship. I have the freedom to explore so I don’t feel trapped, but I also like that my partner can do the same. The idea of being “everything” to someone is a pressure I can’t endure. Might not be the solution for everyone, especially if you have serious issues with jealousy, but thought I’d throw it out there. Love your channel by the way, so glad I stumbled on it by accident! ❤️

@non-ya228

10 ай бұрын

I agree

@johnton6488

9 ай бұрын

@@Tailionis If I get this right, you have BPD. But people suffering from BPD differ in many substantial ways. My BPD ex while having typical symptoms and with history of hazarduous impulsive sexual behavior was not cheating on me (I know, I know). It seems similar of what you said. But research show that risky, dangerous impulsive sexual behavior is really common in people suffering BPD. Back to my experience - she didnt behave like that in our relationship, BUT even verbalizing impulsively what she felt and what was on her mind in a moment, was after some time really enough to break me and to breakup with her. Yet I still feel compassion for people having BPD, because I had first hand experience of consequencies of BPD altered brain that led to substantial psychic and physical pain, most of us luckilly never experienced - like our comfortable feeling of how we feel about close person(s), our hobbies, our many times unelaborated feeling of having a purpose in life. etc. At the same time, it was driving me crazy as I felt genuine empathy towards her and at the same time feeling extreme anger, anxiety and all that unberable emotion rollercoster. That said I really hope I would never again having relationship with a person suffering from BPD, while feeling that unsettling feeling, that my brain can decide an other way:-)

@kim_possible1974

Ай бұрын

I wish that my ex could embrace this concept. I asked if he wanted to be in an open relationship and he responded boldly with an “absolutely not”. Well, that’s exactly what he needs. I just couldn’t be that partner for him. So I had to end it.

Trying to figure out if and how I can help a friend who is having this problem, but I think it might just be too dark and too much for me to process. I think professionals and priests and support groups are the best sources of help. To lay this on your friends can overwhelm them, even sink them.

Oh wow I don't even want to dwell on the fact that I think I'm hypersexual with my favorite person. That's a recipe for a disaster.

Very intelligent discussion on these matters. Thank you.

Its the most severe form of addiction. There is a therapy for that, it requires longer time for treatment than any other, even heroin addiction...

I think most crime even petty crime can be connected with abuse of the sexual function.

This is interesting. Psychology is so layered and esoteric in nature. But I’ve noticed in myself that hyper sexuality and obsessive sexuality has represented a couple things to me., It is sort of a escape from real life yes, but I think looking deeper it’s really catering to an insecurity that I have stemming from my teenage years. Being a shy young man and rather insecure, I didn’t have a lot of the experiences that many of my friends had. Later in life when I found that confidence I almost inexorably became hyper focused on sexual gratification. I realize inside of me every time I got to that sexual experience, a little kids voice inside of me was saying, “see you are desirable”. I don’t think it’s the sex as much as it’s the validation of someone’s self worth they think they don’t have.

Its a form of self harm.

Thanks for posting, watching for a friend (genuinely). The opinions and experiences in even the comments to date reinforce your point about the range and impacts. Shows I need to understand my friend's specific views on this, but for that I need total open honesty - but doubt I'll ever get that. Makes being understanding hard.

Im the 80s it was nymphomaniac. Just trivia for you!

😢😢😢 U don't know how frustrating it is

@EarlyMorningBarking

Жыл бұрын

I’m afraid I do

The only thing that made my hypersexuality dim down was becoming anhedonic and having my emotions completely become numb 😐. Wouldn't recommend this result. I think therapy and learning emotion regulation could help dim down hypersexuality. pwBPD simply feel everything stronger than most people. If someone borderline learns overtime to manage and regulate their emotions, they can apply the same skills to their hypersexual tendencies, maybe. Also cold showers do suck I agree

@johnton6488

9 ай бұрын

Perfect!!!

I hate relationships. Its like a full time job i cannot be assed with. I love sex though. My personal solution is i have a friend with benefits. Cant be bothered with the emotional bits.

@thebeattribe

10 ай бұрын

amen

great!❤ 🇧🇷

I got npd my girl has bpd definitely sex addiction i bet shes cheated alot damn

Dude… 😂😂 WTF?! Paraphilic desires?! Bc Wikipedia says so??? READ THE DSM5 if youre looking for facts. This is ridiculous!

@josephharbin9310

9 ай бұрын

Lol he's not wrong he's just being in general without being specific. He already explained everyone is different. That was an example he gave

@josephharbin9310

9 ай бұрын

But I'm not gonna lie I thought that same thing you did before I gave it another thought based on everything else be was trying to explain and state

@bad.chickie66

Ай бұрын

It’s true. My ex was seriously into the Daddy/Little Girl thing and I miss it like no other.

E S C O R T S

That's why we like swinging

@johnton6488

9 ай бұрын

You

Wow talk about boo hoo boring. How about we just repent repent repent? It’s here are it’s not going away so Might as well as make use of it in a healthy and safe way because it’s not going g anywhere.