He was depressed before this all began. That needs treated before anything else.

@coltonbradley9293

3 жыл бұрын

Well considering a lot of depression Stims from physical unhealthiness I disagree.

Same with mine. Ruptured aortic dissection. He should not have survived this and his brother died two years ago with the same thing. Continues poor diet, just wants pills to make it all better. Pushes it to the edge all the time. I have resigned that he will die and I won’t be able to help him. I encourage good eating and make healthy meals. He purchases the garbage he likes to eat. Binge diets inconsistently and gains it back. I am prepared financially and realistically. Impossible to prepare emotionally. Pray. God will take care of the rest.

if a death experience did not wake him up, then any speech or actions she takes probably won't either. He might have a moment of clarity at some point, and I hope it happens before it's too late. Unfortunately most younger people really don't think it will happen to them, even if it's staring them in the face.

@KC-dr3cg

3 жыл бұрын

You cannot control it. The love of my life wouldn't take care of himself. Age 55 Died June 17th.

Depression is real, it isn’t the blues. You tell him he is going to die and his brain says, “Good, I deserve to.”

@KC-dr3cg

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly without me knowing he was telling people that he thought everyone would be better off without him He hid his depression..if I had only known.

It doesn't matter how much you talk to him, he has to decide to change. You need to decide how much more trauma you can endure. Let him know he is traumatizing you with every cigarette, drink, etc., but if he was depressed before, none of this might matter because he thinks he doesn't matter. Edit: He has lost 40 POUNDS! OMG he IS changing, holy cow, give him time. This isn't going to happen overnight. You should be celebrating every day he IS heading the right direction. My comment before was thinking nothing had changed. It clearly, has.

“A near death experience? *lets fully experience that*”… Sorry, I fell out at that. LOL!!

Sorry lady, you can't control your husband. If he chooses not to change his behavior, you have to live with it. EVEN HIS DOCTOR told him not to drink until his 50th wedding anniversary! Going to a therapist or Dr. D is NOT gonna change him.

@crazeekids9744

3 жыл бұрын

She actually doesn’t have to live with it. If he does t care about himself or her enough to want to live, then she may decide to leave.

@Cathy-xi8cb

3 жыл бұрын

@@crazeekids9744 He will die soon enough. She doesn't have to spend the $$ to be out of the marriage.

@whitneyw.7919

3 жыл бұрын

@@crazeekids9744 Which would be stupid

@crazeekids9744

3 жыл бұрын

@@whitneyw.7919 that’s a matter of opinion. Some people would say that trading alcohol for life is not too smart either.

@Jane5720

3 жыл бұрын

She actually DOES NOT have to live with it!!!

Good advice. She has to get help for herself too, especially going through such a traumatic experience with her husband.

Pray for him and be patient. Maybe ask him to go to the gym with you and make healthy meals. Take long walks together. I hope it works out for you both.

@sueblack5794

3 жыл бұрын

He has depression probably, he needs help beyond god. Pray he goes and seeks help. She can't fix this either. It is way more complicated than a walk in the park.

He won’t make changes. Make sure life insurance is up to date.

@bettysmith4527

3 жыл бұрын

Hopefully they already have a policy, because he isn't getting one now!

This was really great advice, it doesn't matter "what she's comfortable with". Same w/ pple who want their spouses to lose weight. Often doesn't work because the desire has to come from within the person, not the spouse blaming, shaming , adn guilting the person to do what they want. Which is very hard though when someone as close as your spouse chooses to be obese or have really poor health when they don't have to.

Sounds like severe sleep apnea is a major trigger. People don’t realize that you can die in your sleep.

This is concerning to me. We recently had a woman at work who died. The doctor put her on some kind of medication for anxiety and she died in her sleep of a heart attack. I’m wondering if it’s the same medication and this medication is causing heart problems or exacerbating mild ones 🤷🏼‍♀️

@NurseBass

3 жыл бұрын

His anti depressant likely caused a prolonged QT syndrome which then caused an R on T event. It’s a common occurrence for antidepressants or psych meds to cause electrical issues in the heart. His heart contracted when it should not have and caused him to go into a lethal heart rhythm. This is why he received an ICD. It almost certainly was not a heart attack. I’m so sorry to hear about your co worker

@texasgina

3 жыл бұрын

@@NurseBass oh wow I never knew that about those meds. That’s scary

@Cathy-xi8cb

3 жыл бұрын

@@NurseBass Millions of people are on antidepressants and never have cardiac complications. For years, if not decades. How dare you even suggest to non-medical readers that this is a common occurrence? We know about the adverse effects of these drugs, and we know the greatest risk factors. They include obesity, drug and alcohol use, other medical problems, polypharmacy, advanced age, and pre-existing cardiac abnormalities.

Get adequate life insurance and prepare for a funeral.

Address your core wounds for you first, and then for those you ❤️ around you! *You are WORTH it!* Core wounds are usually the reason we self destruct or don't care about our health 😞

1:07 Delaney for crying out loud let the caller tell their story. The interruptions make it impossible to hear their story and it’s plain rude. How can you give advice when you don’t hear their story?

@nobleinthought8019

3 жыл бұрын

He's trying to tell them how he can relate to it and understands what they are dealing with by sort of "guessing" the main points of their narrative. The "rude" part of talking over them is likely his own ADHD.

My fiancee and I have this running joke about all of the behavioral changes we're making because middle age is so cool. We call it "what else do I have to give up?" We pretend we're on a game show. Fortunately, neither of us has heart disease, diabetes or arthritis. Yet. Fingers crossed and pass me whatever vegetable dish we've made without butter, oil or salt.

He’s gotta find his ‘why?’ She sounds like a parent to him saying ‘I’m not comfortable with x,y,z’. She’s gotta counsel him, dig deep, find his why, his motivation to get up, is it to see his daughter graduate college, see his grandkids? Find his why, and go from there.

Something that is rarely talked about many heart attack patients develop depression after heart problems. If they have surgery, it is extremely common to develop depression afterwards. It is believed it could be from the combo of heart problems and even anesthesia that helps it to develop. He may have undiagnosed depression and it is from his medical issues & even medical treatment. A good surgeon should warn families and patients about that outcome but very few do.

That’s like when Jerry Lawler had a heart attack live on WWE Smackdown where laid his head on the ringside table and appeared to be snoring (caught on the audio feed). Was wild.

And this is one example of why getting married terrifies me! I’m anxious just listening to this call.

@staceystrukel1917

3 жыл бұрын

What on earth does marriage have to with this? You can have the same situation dating for years or just living with someone.

@MrTmenzo

3 жыл бұрын

As in the movie dawn of the dead where the couple is sleeping, a random girl bites the husband and turns to a zombie instantly and trying to kill you? Huehue

@Cathy-xi8cb

3 жыл бұрын

Kerrie: please know that you can build resilience. People die, they end your friendship, they fire you. Resilience can be developed just like muscle strength. You have to find someone who can guide you, and then you will be able to face...life.

@teeduck

3 жыл бұрын

Don’t get married then. Simple

@nikkisigmon8090

3 жыл бұрын

Which part? That she feels that he isn't taking care of himself more, or the what-if stress? I went through a lot of the what-if stress the first few years of marriage, but would marry my love all over again.

I thought this was going to be my mom lol we're also in NY. My father has lung cancer and an auto immune disease. He was a heavy smoke heavy drinker he'll be 60 in a few weeks. It's really hard to change your lifestyle and I'm trying to be understanding but time is running out faster and faster. Then my mom got news that she has emphysema 😶 just crazy how one day you're fine the next you're not.

@Jane5720

3 жыл бұрын

It actually wasn't fine one day and bad the next it is a gradual build-up

Snoring respiration's can occur when a patient first goes into cardiac arrest, its not "suffocating" or "CHF", he was dead and needed defribilation and CPR, the snoring resps are because his brain isn't getting enough oxygen because his heart wasn't pumping. . Snoring respirations related to cardiac arrhythmia is NOT a "death rattle", two totally different things. The death rattle is the gurgling noise you hear in an actively dying hospice patient because of the build up of secretions that they cannot clear, because they are unconscious. . Snoring respirations are what you hear from someone who is in an arrhythmia and their brain isn't getting enough blood, thus not enough oxygen.

What do you do when you start taking care of yourself by finally going to the doc and getting on the meds he prescribes and changing your diet, etc but the daily home routine outside of that doesn’t change so the anxiety is still there?

Actually that is very interesting what he was saying about he sat up straight in bed because that is what my dad did right before he died. He had been unconscious his eyes opened he sat up and fell back dead

John wants to talk about a therapists lol maybe they can have a convo in a crowded dennys that seems to be your go to move

Eh? Woah, really- not heard of that therapy? Dang, that's the only way I am able to get through the stress of the what ifs- actually sitting down and going through the worst and making a plan for if that happens. Statistically improbable, but it's no longer "unknown". Better to be stressed in a calm environment for a small amount of time, then losing your mind and the household completely falling apart if/when someone passes unexpectedly.

This woman needed their therapist to bring them through his death...because it is coming. He isn't going to live a long life, and her therapist is very very smart to have done that. This man is going to die and she needs to prepare for that while living. The fact that Dr. D. doesn't know about that as a therapeutic technique? He is showing his lack of experience. It is very common for therapists that work with people with illnesses and families of people with chronic conditions.

@technomage6736

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah that was my thoughts. On one hand she can look at that worst case and cheer up knowing it didn't happen, but on the other hand he/she was preparing her for the seemingly inevitable.

@heyjess7232

3 жыл бұрын

I sort of agree. Were it me, I'd be afraid of what would happen if he did die, so talking through that scenario so it isn't a big scary 'what if' would help me. I also would benefit from the stuff Dr. Delony is suggesting, as well. Both have value.

@cg741graf5

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly: John was way off on saying therapist was weird or whatever.

@Shannon_Vlogs

3 жыл бұрын

Came here looking for this reply. I think she said she’s been in therapy for a while (correct me if I misheard) So, this therapist may know her very well too

@nikkisigmon8090

3 жыл бұрын

My thoughts too. It's definitely not a crazy tactic, and is a great way to process, plan, and moooove forward to living with a lower level of what-if stress.

You can't change him. All you can do is buy more and more life insurance. PROTECT YOURSELF (and your children if have any!)

@cg741graf5

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!

@HaloDaycare

3 жыл бұрын

This is an awful comment

@benwhitnell

3 жыл бұрын

This dude is almost the definition of uninsurable. Way too late for that if a doctor has been involved.

Talking through the death may be what she needed to work through. Her husband almost died and that is what she fears, which is why she is calling. Don’t knock another therapist’s technique without the full context or being in the session. If she keeps talking about the fear of him dying, I can see why she needed to walk into that and process that outcome.

Sorry, you can’t make your husband change…all you can do is decide if you want to be by his side or not. This may be an unpopular opinion but if he’s not willing to at least attempt to get healthy in order to be next to his wife then don’t waste the good years you have left on this guy.

Does the doctor look buff or not?

The sound of snoring is NOT the death rattle. Snoring occurs when the throat is closing off. Death rattle is the sound of saliva or phlegm in the throat that someone near death cannot clear. Too bad caller does not know the actual medical condition that her husband has, not that it matters on this call. I was just curious.

lol move to kansas :)

Failed surgery and meds messed him up. Figures

Lost forty pounds must be big guy still sound big snoring not a jokers real death knocking well anyway that what happens with my diabetes husband he never takes medicine he never wants to drop he Diet Pepsi, he never check his sugar just living life.

Sadly, she'll be a widow soon. Hope her Tinder game is on point.

John looking thick.

Jon is off base here. Not a death rattle. Sounds to me like he had potentially lethal cardiac arrhythmia which compromised his circulation and respiration. It’s a miracle he survived that

Bad advice from John.

@bettysmith4527

3 жыл бұрын

Why?

He’s gotta find his ‘why?’ She sounds like a parent to him saying ‘I’m not comfortable with x,y,z’. She’s gotta counsel him, dig deep, find his why, his motivation to get up, is it to see his daughter graduate college, see his grandkids? Find his why, and go from there.

He’s gotta find his ‘why?’ She sounds like a parent to him saying ‘I’m not comfortable with x,y,z’. She’s gotta counsel him, dig deep, find his why, his motivation to get up, is it to see his daughter graduate college, see his grandkids? Find his why, and go from there.