patreon.com/exoticalsunited for secret strategic content for mixed race women of color Dark Femininity Masterclass: exoticals-unit...
Жүктеу.....
Пікірлер: 179
@theeerarestjewel9 ай бұрын
I am so tired of "oh you look like my cousin". And then proceeds to have no evidence. Bish you wish you had a cousin that looked this good.
@Prettyredlady92
9 ай бұрын
💯💯💯💯💯
@theeerarestjewel
9 ай бұрын
@@biggieshorty They have to go out of their way to do so..
@uniquelyme3581
9 ай бұрын
Lol okay!!!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
Lmao
@madeleineclark2836 ай бұрын
Male cashiers who are rude to pretty female customers even when they are nice are such an embarrassment. It's so common. And so unbelievably pathetic
@user-jk1zq7fx3h
4 ай бұрын
Yessss
@sharchannel1836
4 ай бұрын
So true
@theeerarestjewel9 ай бұрын
I'd happily be skinny shamed any day.
@poohcanplay123
9 ай бұрын
💯
@lilac8794
8 ай бұрын
me too lmao. The benefits are more than the skinny shaming
@munequa81
7 ай бұрын
Same, especially as you age...everyone else will suddenly gain weight and you'll be skinny.
@msjohnson7744
3 ай бұрын
I’m continually shamed as my body type is slim/athletic - I will get comments like I look stressed, l’m too thin, they’re ‘real black woman’ 😂 when in reality they are obese and unfit with a plethora of health issues and have the audacity to shame me!
@char6201
Ай бұрын
Any Day 😂
@mikhalaa7469 ай бұрын
I just laugh when someone tries these humbling tactics on me. Cause clearly you noticed me enough to THINK you could bully me and comment on my body or looks.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
exactly 😂 if someone comments on my looks (negative or positive) it still tells me that theyre noticing me so....
@ailurii5 ай бұрын
1. Comparing you to other women and pretending these other women have a privilege over you. 2. Flirting with or "bigging up" celebs and women that look like you, but not complimenting you specifically. 3. Instead of saying that you're pretty, they'll be like "You look like my cousin's sister's neighbor's baby-momma." 4. Pointing out small flaws in your makeup/hair/clothes/body shape. 5. Getting you pregnant. 6. Marriage and relationship trapping (for various reasons). 7. People being mean to you for no reason. 8. Calling out when you're wearing lashes/weaves/nails/anything that draws attention to you.
@ExoticalsUnited
5 ай бұрын
Yes!
@TexanBeautie7 ай бұрын
"You look like my..." I usually respond saying that their relative, must be beautiful. Thank you.
@ExoticalsUnited
7 ай бұрын
Exactly
@LaFlor7189 ай бұрын
This is a much needed video for teens and young adults imo. A lot of us who are 25+ have been through this in a time before your level of realness was easily accessible EU. It hurts when you are around people and they claim to care but seem to want to hurt you based on things you cannot control (meaning any of the features you were born with). And don’t even get me started on the baby trapping… it’s insidious and scary.
@Sunshine_Hime
9 ай бұрын
I agree, I'm 22 and learning a lot from these videos
@LaFlor718
9 ай бұрын
@@Sunshine_Hime I am happy for that! I want more younger ppl to see and understand that nothing is wrong with them, it’s a hate filled echo chamber. Keep growing and glowing princess!
@sharchannel18364 ай бұрын
Lots of pretty women are there being humble already minding their own business and someone jealous comes along feeling the need to bully them...some people are so crazy...
@sydneilou9 ай бұрын
Omg! I’ve had mls men and black men say they want to get me pregnant ✋🏽😩 ewwwww they’re so bold.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
omg yes same! 🤢 they see it as a flex to say that YOU are one of their baby mamas 😂
@sydneilou
9 ай бұрын
I want to add that mls that are more black male identified are the ones who behave this way!! I know MLS men that aren’t this way
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedyea I recently found out that a guy from the hood where I grew up who had a crush for years, started making up that he had 6 kids with me. Freakin 6! We used to talk to each other and even made out from time time (teenagers), but to find this out all these years later and thousands of miles of distance between us and it’s like 🤮. Had my mother dispel the rumors for me lol. The nerve! My husband was not amused 😆. Funny thing is he was another MLS man, but mixed white and Latino.
@uniquelyme35819 ай бұрын
Beyonce definitely did upgrade Jay-Z... women are currency for sure!!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yes! When was the last time you’ve seen jay z songs topping the charts? He is not a music and performing icon like she is .
@uniquelyme3581
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnited So true.
@s3dghost
5 ай бұрын
Copium-dioxide 😂😂😂😂...
@evanderzufarsetiawan25119 ай бұрын
In the nutshell people being a bully and mean girl toward pretty woman
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yup!
@Ablessedbaddie6 ай бұрын
My ex got upset and told me I look like a bootleg Gabriel union lmao
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
😂😂😂 he was trying so hard to humble you
@vickiberry-60109 ай бұрын
I am so relieved to find this channel. I am a highly Melaninated American woman with 4c hair and both my daughters are mixed race. I am divested but my struggle and issues are NOT theirs! I love hearing a perspective that fits them like a glove!Your content really will help them better than anything I could teach and you have all the nuance issues I feel comfortable giving my gorgeous girlies! I will support this channel in everyway I can. Your perspective right on the 🎯 ❤ Keep on the winning streak!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
yes! i have lots of UABW and men on here who have mixed relatives and want to see things from our side! thanks for watching!
@psnob7 ай бұрын
Omg...I remember being at an event...I looked amazing...my dress...my energy...my smile was giving everything! It was an amazing night. A friend came up to me and said.. "what happened to your nose"? Really???? I had a small mark on my nose that I had to cover..not really that noticeable but she had to point that out VS saying...you look great! Smh
@TheMspoodle29 ай бұрын
Yes, I have had a grown older black woman do this to me and someone's kid while in Walmart. It's so insane.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
omg what is it with people in walmarts? ive been harassed multiple times in walmarts 😂
@Jennyxx-ie5jw
6 ай бұрын
Mine's always in McDonald's 😂
@TheUnAmbiguousExotical9 ай бұрын
Although I'm considered dark skinned, I have definitely been the victim of these harsh "humbling" tactics especially the last one 😬
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yup anyone of any complexion can go through these humbling tactics
@InfinityCelestial
8 ай бұрын
You’re beautiful
@margaridaguerreiro802
Ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedam I ugly?
@alaneofmyown9 ай бұрын
When you elaborated on young men/men bragging on their exes and being attached through the child 🤦🏽♀️ and this is why I’m an advocate for young people. My own experience has taught me so much. One good time and I’ve completely changed my life. A lot of men are lost self serving manipulators. Using pretty women in whatever way they can. Ugh, it makes me so upset.
@sacha74409 ай бұрын
This video🔥as a current engineer, I can’t stop counting the amount of times people are shocked by my profession. I started to downplay it. “Wow you’re pretty and smart?” I have also struggled w the body shaming. When I gain it goes to my ass and ppl have warned me about weight gain. I’ve also had people tell me I was too skinny. So annoying. I’d rather to just keep my hair straight. Too much obsession with hair and I’d rather focus on other qualities.
@rtgp2.0
9 ай бұрын
People prefer certain aesthetics to fit in with certain groups
@Thekenyatta
9 ай бұрын
Same, I got degrees and tech skills, but still got my cosmetology and esthetician licenses and man they get mad when they find out I have education. I’m learning to just enjoy triggering people with my existence. I was trapped, but I enjoy telling people I was and that makes them not want to say they are the man because they can’t take the attention in a negative light. Keep shining ❤❤❤
@goldn_k3 ай бұрын
Anytime I change my hair, people who are not fond me will say, "You look different." & I just say, "Thanks!" They always look so confused afterwards lol.
@hey-br6lo5 ай бұрын
I’m a 5’9” brow skin woman. The staring is endless. There was one time I was at McDonald’s some bald headed darkskin black man saw me and started laughing out loud. He was trying to rile me up but I just ignored him because I could have said a lot about him. The most hate I get is from short, fat, darkskin men or women or the occasional blond white woman.
@kobrak4426 ай бұрын
Omg i once did this eye makeup look and everyone loved it so much except the women i worked with. One even asked me "What did you do to your face? You dont look like yourself you look different!" I was like whutttt do you mean?? 😂
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
Right! That’s pure jealousy
@theeerarestjewel9 ай бұрын
I've gotten extremely use to people being me for me existing
@BlaxicanBeautyTV3339 ай бұрын
Very true on the relationship trapping!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
i feel like some men want to get with us so they can attract OTHER women to cheat on us with 😂😂😂
@gjinkalla23
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedthank you for validating me feeling crazy because I believe it is a liquid confidence
@AnnaForever1119 ай бұрын
I was picking up a Walmart order, because I hate going inside of a Walmart (I get followed and stared at) and the woman bringing me the order said I looked like a celebrity that I’ve never heard of lol. 😂I asked her who was that, because I’ve never heard of her. And she gave me a dirty look
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@jeaninewilson21706 ай бұрын
The random meanness is unhinged, and it’s jarring because most of the time I deliberately try not to put much into my look. Side note: I have just subscribed to your channel, and I’m binge watching a lot of your content. I was wondering if you ever thought on the topic of how difficult it is for introverted pretty “privileged” women to have healthy friendship circles?
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
Yes I’ve got more pretty privilege videos coming up soon
@reign_1158
5 ай бұрын
This the one.
@PrincessPink-is6kf9 ай бұрын
Omggg!! You just validated my feelings in so many ways. I truly thought I was crazy or just insecure thinking about peoples fav celebrities but then treating you differently (men and women) and as if they’re not around you because of their attraction for you. What’s the deal with that? They don’t even know the celebrity personally yet, give you weird as treatment while calling their celeb crush their “wife” or “sis” but barely compliment you. They know we look amazing if not even more than the celebrity. That shit is weird and I’ve always been annoyed by that.
@AFocusedLiving9 ай бұрын
Wow I’m getting flashbacks from these humbling tactics.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yes! You are not delusional! We have shared experiences. #prettygirlclub 💅🏽
@Exoticbarbie.9 ай бұрын
These tactics are on point and its great how you list them all in detail. These make so much sense. People are always telling me I look like this that person and the third. People have used alot of these tactics on me but im glad you are showing us what people are secretly trying to do and showing us we evoke a reaction out of people because we are that chick. ❤ Keep these awesome vids coming
@AnAdorableWombat19 ай бұрын
I just want to know why people think a big bum automatically makes them attractive or more attractive than someone with a small butt? A big butt only distracts from a busted face
@dw9524
9 ай бұрын
@@cutiepiea3687 to a certain extent. It also depends on the area you live in
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
Different men are attracted to different things. Not only dusty men like a prominent butt, the difference is only dusty men like it big and SLOPPY. Big (not huge!)but tight is desirable unless it’s fake.
@thelashayway8250
8 ай бұрын
It attracts pedophiles, perverts and men who only wanna have sex.
@Socratesbellesamis
5 ай бұрын
Depends on the bum. If the body is slim thick with a phatty, and the face is at least average the woman is considered attractive. This is why so many mixed baddies were pretty but still went and got their bodies done. (Bernice Burgos, Draya) Bad built women are usually haters and want only the face to matter. Some pretty+ curve-less or weird built women hate that body is a huge advantage. Body is a big part of privilege but one can only know that if you have body or have gone out with friends who have it.
@Socratesbellesamis
5 ай бұрын
If a woman is slim thick the privilege and attention is strong. A lot of mls women got their bodies done to increase their privilege. (Draya, Bernice Burgos) A women with a bum and proportionate body only has to be average to get the attention a pretty weird built woman gets. Body triggers inferiority sometimes worse than facial beauty .
@user-yc3vi3bz2p6 ай бұрын
can another humbling tactic be someone telling you you look older than you do even when you dont?
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
Yes, I’ve been told that before by an unambiguous girl unfortunately
@user-yc3vi3bz2p
5 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnited omg same thing happened to me too
@ericatheempress6698
4 ай бұрын
I was 21 and this 18 year old girl was like "I thought you were 30" literally most people assume I'm younger than what I really am for my whole life.
@misscee84775 ай бұрын
It really wasnt until i left a toxic relationship where all these tactics were used to realize.... Its because im fine AF 😂💅
@FunnyBunny2165 ай бұрын
This guy was trying to talk to me and I wasn’t fully interested. He started showing me pics of his ex, “o, your kinda my type look”!!! What??? Then he started to act like I had a booger and literally tried to act like he was picking it out of my nose. This guy was a lawyer/ engineer. He felt the need to humble me and I was a counter clerk omg! I have so many stories!!
@meredithgrey777
4 ай бұрын
No matter how "well-off" they are, they're still intimidated by beauty!
@lovespellmami9 ай бұрын
i always get told i looks like her 😩😍3:07 also can we talk about jealous siblings😒 me and my sister are two different skin tones and everytime she has something to say it’s always back handed like i’ll do my hair and she’ll be like “it’s not yours tho” so annoying
@Genuinely10
9 ай бұрын
Your Wild Pretty 💕
@lovespellmami
9 ай бұрын
@@Genuinely10 and you’re gorgeous 😍😍💗
@keirahleesha486
9 ай бұрын
THIS! I hated how my sister always did me growing up, making me feel bad about how I looked & the older I got I realized I wasn’t thinking I was better than her because of my features,complexion or hair… it’s always been HER. It’s so annoying & sad🤦🏽♀️🫤
@ash39419 ай бұрын
I did not expect you to go so in depth. A lot of these tactics (esp from men) I recognized as ways used to manipulate and use women but I hadn't thought of them as humbling -- that makes sense though. Once I was considered decently pretty, I got a lot of sudden positive affirmations on my looks. But I also noticed I was more likely to get random comments on my appearance that were strange if not outright negative. I didn't understand why anyone would say something insulting about how I looked when I never said anything bad about them at all. When I was younger I got very thin and while my face was nicer, my body was ridiculed -- by people who said I was pretty. It was weird. At some point people "forgot" all about the slim women they loved in the 90s and early 2000s and started comparing attractive thin women to boys lol. And yes, I used to get all types of Caribbean people saying I looked like their cousin.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Exactly . These are all humbling tactics that people tend to do on a subconscious level. They’re not always being malicious, people just don’t even realize that they’re doing it
@copiouscat
9 ай бұрын
To be fair, in my family and tons of First gen americans with tons of Carribean family from múltiple Islands (they was Island hoppin nomads🤣) everybody got a gorgeous exotic Cousin. But yeah this video is so accurate and relatable!
@veronicablossom75329 ай бұрын
I have had a few guys be big jerks to me. One was just yelling at me, cursing at me and making bossy remarks when he had no place to, and the other, just recently, went and snatched an item I was in the middle of purchasing and putting his arm way up telling me to get it, and then just minutes after that he started flipping me off a bunch of times for no good reason. And another put an ice cube down my shirt when I used to work at Burger King and I was in the middle of washing the dishes. So men can be cruel sometimes.
@april_dawn9 ай бұрын
Girl! All of these are so true!! 🤦🏽♀️🤣😂
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yessss!
@thegiftofgabby55816 ай бұрын
These visual aids have me rollingggggggg 😭😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@Kirstyburst5 ай бұрын
I have these issues so often and it's hard because I don't think I'm a supermodel I'm not conceited and I mind my business. like why are people so bent on humbling me when I'm kind as well. Ever since I was young especially once I started wearing makeup, hair getting into clothes etc. Both Men and other Women act in all the ways you mentioned.
@lilac87948 ай бұрын
i love how you have analyzed Jada Pinkette's situation
@ExoticalsUnited
8 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@betsy77305 ай бұрын
Wow, i did not know people were actually complementing me when they would say, "You look like someone i know," every time they first see me. And natively i would respond "i really dont feel like i look like other ppl 😂
@dawnslight6769 ай бұрын
when it's your family...uh
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Omg yes ! I need to talk about when your own family uses humbling tactics smh!
@Arela11645 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, I’ve had many of these experiences. You are freaking hilarious, though lol.
@NadiaAlyse5 ай бұрын
You are speaking about MY LIFE right now 😩 especially #9 and #10.. praying for all the pretty girls 🥰🙏🏽
@user-bx2wl7we5k9 ай бұрын
I can’t count the times dsbw or msbw have said I look like their niece or some celeb. WOW. 😩
@empressbthealkemisst5 ай бұрын
Wow 😮 I never realized that’s what was behind the comparison what an eye opener! 🙏🏾
@Aronia2222 ай бұрын
i didnt even realize these people tryna compliment like this! i have been told this so many times! literal strangers have done this to me!
@TheMspoodle29 ай бұрын
Do you have more negative experiences with non-black people ? There are so many nasty bullies on my job. I live and work with only ww. They love to assume that I'm jealous of their hair. I literally had one woman tell me that my hair is long because I'm half white.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
yes ive talked about that on this channel and have more videos coming up about that soon. i recently quit my job partially due to my jealous latina supervisor who also happened to be morbidly obese (literally like 400 lbs, no shade.) she was evil towards me.
@eenchantress5113
9 ай бұрын
Omg…
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedoh man, that’s a whole other layer-the jealousy of fat women towards fit women. You can feel the venom, they stare with such hatred. Didn’t stop me from running in my crop top athletic wear with my abs, but still 😝
@Arela1164
5 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnited I’ve had more negative experiences with black women, but occasionally with white or Latinas . I worked with a Latina who asked me if I wore a weave, believe it or not. She wishes she had my hair lol. Latinas can be very jealous and competitive toward mixed women and attractive black women. Even if they’re attractive themselves.
@Bromeliadsss5 ай бұрын
I get a lot of “you’re pretty for a dark skinned girl”
@sandracrump7 ай бұрын
This video Is 1000% true! The look a like thing is so True it’s annoying and pregnancies with dusties happens to a lot of pretty woman! Jenna fumes, nick canon baby mamas all are pretty for sure but status is baby mamas
@InfinityCelestial8 ай бұрын
Love your content. New sub ❤
@ExoticalsUnited
8 ай бұрын
Yay! #prettygirlclub 💅🏽
@gaudylady76 ай бұрын
17:15 OMG! I was texting my mom in tears about #9. I stopped going out & about alone for a while, luckily its too cold now. Around that time it was just so bad & I needed a break. Thank you!
@DeLaLuna0G9 ай бұрын
Yes to all of this!
@raqs_maya4851Ай бұрын
Omg😢you are so right!!! Exact all things happened to me😮😮😮
@ExoticalsUnited
Ай бұрын
Wow !
@madeleineclark2836 ай бұрын
Literally clicked on this video because I had to stop going to my favorite coffee shop because the old gray male cashier was nasty and creepy even though I was nice. Happens constantly
@KRW33215 ай бұрын
Just a different perspective…I don’t always tell women that I think they’re pretty because not everyone wants to hear unsolicited opinions about their looks. I’ve encountered women who have gotten irritated or uncomfortable when I told them they’re pretty.
@finurra39059 ай бұрын
this is soo trueeeeeeeeee
@Senoradedeus9 ай бұрын
Good video as usual, also i notice one particular thing when MLS/LSK famous women date black men suddenly their reputation go down (around other ethnicities ) and her image always becoming the light skin saviour ( malcom x , Rosa Park )... I hate it , they drain them , literally, bc i had similiar experiences they approched you with the tactic of " black checking " so you will feel the need to feel enough black , check beyonce music process...check Rihanna process , when Jay z or Asap Rocky has openly condem racism like Beyonce or Rihanna do ? They use them , they drain them and when is over ... They change them. Watch out , i learnt the lesson just on time! They see us as an instrument , MLS /LSK women particully ,taking this as history context pls, were " the daugthers of the white men" (was a black men who explained me that btwy) , white men used to kill their mixed sons and kept the daugthers close , in some occasions take care of them , also in many ocasions at least in latin american culture find them a white men to marry, keeping in mind white men have indeed sort of preference for MLS /LSK women is obsvious why black men marry them or want them.
@malaina64265 ай бұрын
One time I walked into a family gathering and the first thing my aunt said to me after greeting everyone normally was "you look thinner" ..no hi, no nice no to see you, nothing lol. I have really long hair and they love to refer to my hair as "flat" 😅
@Aronia2222 ай бұрын
8:06 plss that was me (had a r/s for a few months for this !) 😭😭😭😭 i definetly felt like a circus monkey being paraded around.
@SapphireEm3rald6 ай бұрын
I can count on one hand how many compliments I’ve gotten from women. Most have come from family 😅 I thought for a long time that women just didn’t compliment each other. Up until I got on social media and realized that wasn’t the case. I’ve only gotten complimented by family really. But when women do refer to my appearance, they usually just compare me to who they think I look like.
@tarshun2 ай бұрын
A discussion on the beautiful Jasmine Guy (Whitley) would be great!. She is the original “exotical” and worked with an upcoming Jada on a Different World. I always wonder why she didn’t make it farther but definitely should have been major…👀💕🤗
@Academiacaramelcurlz9 ай бұрын
“I got a cousin that look like you” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 MLS girl should say “mhmm I have a cousin that look like you too. She’s very dark like you… and looks like she’s from [insert randomAfrican country] and watch them get offended
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
LMAO SO TRUE OMG! They can say "i have a cousin who looks like you but shes even lighter than you!" but if you say "i have a cousin who looks like you but shes even darker than you" then its a problem.
@adriennerobinson4668
5 ай бұрын
It is a problem because it's causing further division.
@adriennerobinson4668
5 ай бұрын
It's like yall make being dark a mark of death.
@Academiacaramelcurlz
5 ай бұрын
@@adriennerobinson4668 it’s not us…… that’s the thing… the WORLD is in fact anti black… but black ppl further perpetuate the stigma of being dark! Especially for dark women! LSW and mixed women are NOT the enemy ! Of course some have the same toxic ideologies… let’s not be nieve…. But at the same time… whose voice screams the loudest? The dark skinned collective! The black population consists of MOSTLY dark skinned unambiguous ppl! That is the face of the community… yt who do they pedestalize?
@rtgp2.09 ай бұрын
The body build is a preference people have and what theyre attracted too,i prefer thick women or slim thick they aint have to have a hour glass but definitely gotta have thick thighs,you cant shame peoples body prefences,just associate with the right one's
@saluuud4 ай бұрын
I am thankful you made this video and some of your other videos ive watched.
@sirenthomas45959 ай бұрын
Lol i call em out and tell em to 🤬off
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
As you should! Lol
@lilac87948 ай бұрын
i'm East African but i have noticed how darker-skinned men always say that I should date men darker than me because light skin men are girly
@KimGreen-mo7do9 ай бұрын
Truth....
@clairewilliams77627 ай бұрын
Farkkk I get that all the time. The older women 🤢
@cynthiapickett74039 ай бұрын
THIS🎯🎯🎯💯💯💯🎤🎤🎤
@sweetnurnot109 ай бұрын
Producers used to say Jada was too short. She kind of would have had a hard time though
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Well she still was in movies so…
@hey-br6lo7 ай бұрын
I was at the pet store getting some food for my rabbit and I was minding my business when I saw some black guy staring at me from the end of the aisle, hiding in the corner of the aisle when I noticed him he started walking around the aisle and then got on the stairs above the aisle I was on pretending he was going to the 2nd floor. He kept watching me. I’m not even mixed I consider myself a brownskin girl kind of like karruche’s shade
@TabbyCakes3 ай бұрын
I had a guy tell me I look like his cousin. He pulls up a pic on his phone of a 60 year old, gray haired, darker woman 🤦🏽♀️ Whet? 🤣
@luckyMe_09 ай бұрын
I dicied to be one of those people..cause am tired of searching why people compete with me,mean to me ,envious...am tired of why behaviour like this.. I just mirror there behaviour...I want to say ur wig look nappy and u look like my cousin father mother ...😁 Jesus's I want to be careless for anybody to talk crazy things even if their jaw drop to the floor
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yes I might make a video on how to get revenge in these moments 😂😂😂
@sunmont146114 күн бұрын
I never hear that of Jada. And she never had the chops to be an oscar actress to be honest.
@Nkaazenia3335 ай бұрын
What is MLS?
@meredithgrey777
4 ай бұрын
Mixed or light skinned
@razaplaza35389 ай бұрын
Will Smith > Jada-Pinkett Smith 😂
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
he is. but jada couldve kept acting. she gave it up and decided to center her life around will which was obviously a huge mistake.
@ladyfortune78624 ай бұрын
What does MLS stand for?
@user-kf3we2yq4x7 ай бұрын
I does study get am pretty but I have no but Orr am pretty but am to thin or 🙄
@beige_baby7 ай бұрын
I’ve experienced sooo many of these examples in the video and other instances with people being weird towards me, but I’ve been told it’s all in my head…
@ExoticalsUnited
7 ай бұрын
Right. There are thousands of us at this point. We can’t all be delusional.
@thursdaylanejribgo81diego879 ай бұрын
One day I would love to do a live chat with you on Facebook or Instagram because there's a lot I want to get off my chest 🧰😮❤
Пікірлер: 179
I am so tired of "oh you look like my cousin". And then proceeds to have no evidence. Bish you wish you had a cousin that looked this good.
@Prettyredlady92
9 ай бұрын
💯💯💯💯💯
@theeerarestjewel
9 ай бұрын
@@biggieshorty They have to go out of their way to do so..
@uniquelyme3581
9 ай бұрын
Lol okay!!!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
Lmao
Male cashiers who are rude to pretty female customers even when they are nice are such an embarrassment. It's so common. And so unbelievably pathetic
@user-jk1zq7fx3h
4 ай бұрын
Yessss
@sharchannel1836
4 ай бұрын
So true
I'd happily be skinny shamed any day.
@poohcanplay123
9 ай бұрын
💯
@lilac8794
8 ай бұрын
me too lmao. The benefits are more than the skinny shaming
@munequa81
7 ай бұрын
Same, especially as you age...everyone else will suddenly gain weight and you'll be skinny.
@msjohnson7744
3 ай бұрын
I’m continually shamed as my body type is slim/athletic - I will get comments like I look stressed, l’m too thin, they’re ‘real black woman’ 😂 when in reality they are obese and unfit with a plethora of health issues and have the audacity to shame me!
@char6201
Ай бұрын
Any Day 😂
I just laugh when someone tries these humbling tactics on me. Cause clearly you noticed me enough to THINK you could bully me and comment on my body or looks.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
exactly 😂 if someone comments on my looks (negative or positive) it still tells me that theyre noticing me so....
1. Comparing you to other women and pretending these other women have a privilege over you. 2. Flirting with or "bigging up" celebs and women that look like you, but not complimenting you specifically. 3. Instead of saying that you're pretty, they'll be like "You look like my cousin's sister's neighbor's baby-momma." 4. Pointing out small flaws in your makeup/hair/clothes/body shape. 5. Getting you pregnant. 6. Marriage and relationship trapping (for various reasons). 7. People being mean to you for no reason. 8. Calling out when you're wearing lashes/weaves/nails/anything that draws attention to you.
@ExoticalsUnited
5 ай бұрын
Yes!
"You look like my..." I usually respond saying that their relative, must be beautiful. Thank you.
@ExoticalsUnited
7 ай бұрын
Exactly
This is a much needed video for teens and young adults imo. A lot of us who are 25+ have been through this in a time before your level of realness was easily accessible EU. It hurts when you are around people and they claim to care but seem to want to hurt you based on things you cannot control (meaning any of the features you were born with). And don’t even get me started on the baby trapping… it’s insidious and scary.
@Sunshine_Hime
9 ай бұрын
I agree, I'm 22 and learning a lot from these videos
@LaFlor718
9 ай бұрын
@@Sunshine_Hime I am happy for that! I want more younger ppl to see and understand that nothing is wrong with them, it’s a hate filled echo chamber. Keep growing and glowing princess!
Lots of pretty women are there being humble already minding their own business and someone jealous comes along feeling the need to bully them...some people are so crazy...
Omg! I’ve had mls men and black men say they want to get me pregnant ✋🏽😩 ewwwww they’re so bold.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
omg yes same! 🤢 they see it as a flex to say that YOU are one of their baby mamas 😂
@sydneilou
9 ай бұрын
I want to add that mls that are more black male identified are the ones who behave this way!! I know MLS men that aren’t this way
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedyea I recently found out that a guy from the hood where I grew up who had a crush for years, started making up that he had 6 kids with me. Freakin 6! We used to talk to each other and even made out from time time (teenagers), but to find this out all these years later and thousands of miles of distance between us and it’s like 🤮. Had my mother dispel the rumors for me lol. The nerve! My husband was not amused 😆. Funny thing is he was another MLS man, but mixed white and Latino.
Beyonce definitely did upgrade Jay-Z... women are currency for sure!!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yes! When was the last time you’ve seen jay z songs topping the charts? He is not a music and performing icon like she is .
@uniquelyme3581
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnited So true.
@s3dghost
5 ай бұрын
Copium-dioxide 😂😂😂😂...
In the nutshell people being a bully and mean girl toward pretty woman
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yup!
My ex got upset and told me I look like a bootleg Gabriel union lmao
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
😂😂😂 he was trying so hard to humble you
I am so relieved to find this channel. I am a highly Melaninated American woman with 4c hair and both my daughters are mixed race. I am divested but my struggle and issues are NOT theirs! I love hearing a perspective that fits them like a glove!Your content really will help them better than anything I could teach and you have all the nuance issues I feel comfortable giving my gorgeous girlies! I will support this channel in everyway I can. Your perspective right on the 🎯 ❤ Keep on the winning streak!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
yes! i have lots of UABW and men on here who have mixed relatives and want to see things from our side! thanks for watching!
Omg...I remember being at an event...I looked amazing...my dress...my energy...my smile was giving everything! It was an amazing night. A friend came up to me and said.. "what happened to your nose"? Really???? I had a small mark on my nose that I had to cover..not really that noticeable but she had to point that out VS saying...you look great! Smh
Yes, I have had a grown older black woman do this to me and someone's kid while in Walmart. It's so insane.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
omg what is it with people in walmarts? ive been harassed multiple times in walmarts 😂
@Jennyxx-ie5jw
6 ай бұрын
Mine's always in McDonald's 😂
Although I'm considered dark skinned, I have definitely been the victim of these harsh "humbling" tactics especially the last one 😬
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yup anyone of any complexion can go through these humbling tactics
@InfinityCelestial
8 ай бұрын
You’re beautiful
@margaridaguerreiro802
Ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedam I ugly?
When you elaborated on young men/men bragging on their exes and being attached through the child 🤦🏽♀️ and this is why I’m an advocate for young people. My own experience has taught me so much. One good time and I’ve completely changed my life. A lot of men are lost self serving manipulators. Using pretty women in whatever way they can. Ugh, it makes me so upset.
This video🔥as a current engineer, I can’t stop counting the amount of times people are shocked by my profession. I started to downplay it. “Wow you’re pretty and smart?” I have also struggled w the body shaming. When I gain it goes to my ass and ppl have warned me about weight gain. I’ve also had people tell me I was too skinny. So annoying. I’d rather to just keep my hair straight. Too much obsession with hair and I’d rather focus on other qualities.
@rtgp2.0
9 ай бұрын
People prefer certain aesthetics to fit in with certain groups
@Thekenyatta
9 ай бұрын
Same, I got degrees and tech skills, but still got my cosmetology and esthetician licenses and man they get mad when they find out I have education. I’m learning to just enjoy triggering people with my existence. I was trapped, but I enjoy telling people I was and that makes them not want to say they are the man because they can’t take the attention in a negative light. Keep shining ❤❤❤
Anytime I change my hair, people who are not fond me will say, "You look different." & I just say, "Thanks!" They always look so confused afterwards lol.
I’m a 5’9” brow skin woman. The staring is endless. There was one time I was at McDonald’s some bald headed darkskin black man saw me and started laughing out loud. He was trying to rile me up but I just ignored him because I could have said a lot about him. The most hate I get is from short, fat, darkskin men or women or the occasional blond white woman.
Omg i once did this eye makeup look and everyone loved it so much except the women i worked with. One even asked me "What did you do to your face? You dont look like yourself you look different!" I was like whutttt do you mean?? 😂
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
Right! That’s pure jealousy
I've gotten extremely use to people being me for me existing
Very true on the relationship trapping!
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
i feel like some men want to get with us so they can attract OTHER women to cheat on us with 😂😂😂
@gjinkalla23
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedthank you for validating me feeling crazy because I believe it is a liquid confidence
I was picking up a Walmart order, because I hate going inside of a Walmart (I get followed and stared at) and the woman bringing me the order said I looked like a celebrity that I’ve never heard of lol. 😂I asked her who was that, because I’ve never heard of her. And she gave me a dirty look
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
The random meanness is unhinged, and it’s jarring because most of the time I deliberately try not to put much into my look. Side note: I have just subscribed to your channel, and I’m binge watching a lot of your content. I was wondering if you ever thought on the topic of how difficult it is for introverted pretty “privileged” women to have healthy friendship circles?
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
Yes I’ve got more pretty privilege videos coming up soon
@reign_1158
5 ай бұрын
This the one.
Omggg!! You just validated my feelings in so many ways. I truly thought I was crazy or just insecure thinking about peoples fav celebrities but then treating you differently (men and women) and as if they’re not around you because of their attraction for you. What’s the deal with that? They don’t even know the celebrity personally yet, give you weird as treatment while calling their celeb crush their “wife” or “sis” but barely compliment you. They know we look amazing if not even more than the celebrity. That shit is weird and I’ve always been annoyed by that.
Wow I’m getting flashbacks from these humbling tactics.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yes! You are not delusional! We have shared experiences. #prettygirlclub 💅🏽
These tactics are on point and its great how you list them all in detail. These make so much sense. People are always telling me I look like this that person and the third. People have used alot of these tactics on me but im glad you are showing us what people are secretly trying to do and showing us we evoke a reaction out of people because we are that chick. ❤ Keep these awesome vids coming
I just want to know why people think a big bum automatically makes them attractive or more attractive than someone with a small butt? A big butt only distracts from a busted face
@dw9524
9 ай бұрын
@@cutiepiea3687 to a certain extent. It also depends on the area you live in
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
Different men are attracted to different things. Not only dusty men like a prominent butt, the difference is only dusty men like it big and SLOPPY. Big (not huge!)but tight is desirable unless it’s fake.
@thelashayway8250
8 ай бұрын
It attracts pedophiles, perverts and men who only wanna have sex.
@Socratesbellesamis
5 ай бұрын
Depends on the bum. If the body is slim thick with a phatty, and the face is at least average the woman is considered attractive. This is why so many mixed baddies were pretty but still went and got their bodies done. (Bernice Burgos, Draya) Bad built women are usually haters and want only the face to matter. Some pretty+ curve-less or weird built women hate that body is a huge advantage. Body is a big part of privilege but one can only know that if you have body or have gone out with friends who have it.
@Socratesbellesamis
5 ай бұрын
If a woman is slim thick the privilege and attention is strong. A lot of mls women got their bodies done to increase their privilege. (Draya, Bernice Burgos) A women with a bum and proportionate body only has to be average to get the attention a pretty weird built woman gets. Body triggers inferiority sometimes worse than facial beauty .
can another humbling tactic be someone telling you you look older than you do even when you dont?
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
Yes, I’ve been told that before by an unambiguous girl unfortunately
@user-yc3vi3bz2p
5 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnited omg same thing happened to me too
@ericatheempress6698
4 ай бұрын
I was 21 and this 18 year old girl was like "I thought you were 30" literally most people assume I'm younger than what I really am for my whole life.
It really wasnt until i left a toxic relationship where all these tactics were used to realize.... Its because im fine AF 😂💅
This guy was trying to talk to me and I wasn’t fully interested. He started showing me pics of his ex, “o, your kinda my type look”!!! What??? Then he started to act like I had a booger and literally tried to act like he was picking it out of my nose. This guy was a lawyer/ engineer. He felt the need to humble me and I was a counter clerk omg! I have so many stories!!
@meredithgrey777
4 ай бұрын
No matter how "well-off" they are, they're still intimidated by beauty!
i always get told i looks like her 😩😍3:07 also can we talk about jealous siblings😒 me and my sister are two different skin tones and everytime she has something to say it’s always back handed like i’ll do my hair and she’ll be like “it’s not yours tho” so annoying
@Genuinely10
9 ай бұрын
Your Wild Pretty 💕
@lovespellmami
9 ай бұрын
@@Genuinely10 and you’re gorgeous 😍😍💗
@keirahleesha486
9 ай бұрын
THIS! I hated how my sister always did me growing up, making me feel bad about how I looked & the older I got I realized I wasn’t thinking I was better than her because of my features,complexion or hair… it’s always been HER. It’s so annoying & sad🤦🏽♀️🫤
I did not expect you to go so in depth. A lot of these tactics (esp from men) I recognized as ways used to manipulate and use women but I hadn't thought of them as humbling -- that makes sense though. Once I was considered decently pretty, I got a lot of sudden positive affirmations on my looks. But I also noticed I was more likely to get random comments on my appearance that were strange if not outright negative. I didn't understand why anyone would say something insulting about how I looked when I never said anything bad about them at all. When I was younger I got very thin and while my face was nicer, my body was ridiculed -- by people who said I was pretty. It was weird. At some point people "forgot" all about the slim women they loved in the 90s and early 2000s and started comparing attractive thin women to boys lol. And yes, I used to get all types of Caribbean people saying I looked like their cousin.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Exactly . These are all humbling tactics that people tend to do on a subconscious level. They’re not always being malicious, people just don’t even realize that they’re doing it
@copiouscat
9 ай бұрын
To be fair, in my family and tons of First gen americans with tons of Carribean family from múltiple Islands (they was Island hoppin nomads🤣) everybody got a gorgeous exotic Cousin. But yeah this video is so accurate and relatable!
I have had a few guys be big jerks to me. One was just yelling at me, cursing at me and making bossy remarks when he had no place to, and the other, just recently, went and snatched an item I was in the middle of purchasing and putting his arm way up telling me to get it, and then just minutes after that he started flipping me off a bunch of times for no good reason. And another put an ice cube down my shirt when I used to work at Burger King and I was in the middle of washing the dishes. So men can be cruel sometimes.
Girl! All of these are so true!! 🤦🏽♀️🤣😂
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yessss!
These visual aids have me rollingggggggg 😭😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@ExoticalsUnited
6 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
I have these issues so often and it's hard because I don't think I'm a supermodel I'm not conceited and I mind my business. like why are people so bent on humbling me when I'm kind as well. Ever since I was young especially once I started wearing makeup, hair getting into clothes etc. Both Men and other Women act in all the ways you mentioned.
i love how you have analyzed Jada Pinkette's situation
@ExoticalsUnited
8 ай бұрын
Thank you!
Wow, i did not know people were actually complementing me when they would say, "You look like someone i know," every time they first see me. And natively i would respond "i really dont feel like i look like other ppl 😂
when it's your family...uh
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Omg yes ! I need to talk about when your own family uses humbling tactics smh!
Unfortunately, I’ve had many of these experiences. You are freaking hilarious, though lol.
You are speaking about MY LIFE right now 😩 especially #9 and #10.. praying for all the pretty girls 🥰🙏🏽
I can’t count the times dsbw or msbw have said I look like their niece or some celeb. WOW. 😩
Wow 😮 I never realized that’s what was behind the comparison what an eye opener! 🙏🏾
i didnt even realize these people tryna compliment like this! i have been told this so many times! literal strangers have done this to me!
Do you have more negative experiences with non-black people ? There are so many nasty bullies on my job. I live and work with only ww. They love to assume that I'm jealous of their hair. I literally had one woman tell me that my hair is long because I'm half white.
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
yes ive talked about that on this channel and have more videos coming up about that soon. i recently quit my job partially due to my jealous latina supervisor who also happened to be morbidly obese (literally like 400 lbs, no shade.) she was evil towards me.
@eenchantress5113
9 ай бұрын
Omg…
@ravenrebel3183
9 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnitedoh man, that’s a whole other layer-the jealousy of fat women towards fit women. You can feel the venom, they stare with such hatred. Didn’t stop me from running in my crop top athletic wear with my abs, but still 😝
@Arela1164
5 ай бұрын
@@ExoticalsUnited I’ve had more negative experiences with black women, but occasionally with white or Latinas . I worked with a Latina who asked me if I wore a weave, believe it or not. She wishes she had my hair lol. Latinas can be very jealous and competitive toward mixed women and attractive black women. Even if they’re attractive themselves.
I get a lot of “you’re pretty for a dark skinned girl”
This video Is 1000% true! The look a like thing is so True it’s annoying and pregnancies with dusties happens to a lot of pretty woman! Jenna fumes, nick canon baby mamas all are pretty for sure but status is baby mamas
Love your content. New sub ❤
@ExoticalsUnited
8 ай бұрын
Yay! #prettygirlclub 💅🏽
17:15 OMG! I was texting my mom in tears about #9. I stopped going out & about alone for a while, luckily its too cold now. Around that time it was just so bad & I needed a break. Thank you!
Yes to all of this!
Omg😢you are so right!!! Exact all things happened to me😮😮😮
@ExoticalsUnited
Ай бұрын
Wow !
Literally clicked on this video because I had to stop going to my favorite coffee shop because the old gray male cashier was nasty and creepy even though I was nice. Happens constantly
Just a different perspective…I don’t always tell women that I think they’re pretty because not everyone wants to hear unsolicited opinions about their looks. I’ve encountered women who have gotten irritated or uncomfortable when I told them they’re pretty.
this is soo trueeeeeeeeee
Good video as usual, also i notice one particular thing when MLS/LSK famous women date black men suddenly their reputation go down (around other ethnicities ) and her image always becoming the light skin saviour ( malcom x , Rosa Park )... I hate it , they drain them , literally, bc i had similiar experiences they approched you with the tactic of " black checking " so you will feel the need to feel enough black , check beyonce music process...check Rihanna process , when Jay z or Asap Rocky has openly condem racism like Beyonce or Rihanna do ? They use them , they drain them and when is over ... They change them. Watch out , i learnt the lesson just on time! They see us as an instrument , MLS /LSK women particully ,taking this as history context pls, were " the daugthers of the white men" (was a black men who explained me that btwy) , white men used to kill their mixed sons and kept the daugthers close , in some occasions take care of them , also in many ocasions at least in latin american culture find them a white men to marry, keeping in mind white men have indeed sort of preference for MLS /LSK women is obsvious why black men marry them or want them.
One time I walked into a family gathering and the first thing my aunt said to me after greeting everyone normally was "you look thinner" ..no hi, no nice no to see you, nothing lol. I have really long hair and they love to refer to my hair as "flat" 😅
8:06 plss that was me (had a r/s for a few months for this !) 😭😭😭😭 i definetly felt like a circus monkey being paraded around.
I can count on one hand how many compliments I’ve gotten from women. Most have come from family 😅 I thought for a long time that women just didn’t compliment each other. Up until I got on social media and realized that wasn’t the case. I’ve only gotten complimented by family really. But when women do refer to my appearance, they usually just compare me to who they think I look like.
A discussion on the beautiful Jasmine Guy (Whitley) would be great!. She is the original “exotical” and worked with an upcoming Jada on a Different World. I always wonder why she didn’t make it farther but definitely should have been major…👀💕🤗
“I got a cousin that look like you” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 MLS girl should say “mhmm I have a cousin that look like you too. She’s very dark like you… and looks like she’s from [insert randomAfrican country] and watch them get offended
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
LMAO SO TRUE OMG! They can say "i have a cousin who looks like you but shes even lighter than you!" but if you say "i have a cousin who looks like you but shes even darker than you" then its a problem.
@adriennerobinson4668
5 ай бұрын
It is a problem because it's causing further division.
@adriennerobinson4668
5 ай бұрын
It's like yall make being dark a mark of death.
@Academiacaramelcurlz
5 ай бұрын
@@adriennerobinson4668 it’s not us…… that’s the thing… the WORLD is in fact anti black… but black ppl further perpetuate the stigma of being dark! Especially for dark women! LSW and mixed women are NOT the enemy ! Of course some have the same toxic ideologies… let’s not be nieve…. But at the same time… whose voice screams the loudest? The dark skinned collective! The black population consists of MOSTLY dark skinned unambiguous ppl! That is the face of the community… yt who do they pedestalize?
The body build is a preference people have and what theyre attracted too,i prefer thick women or slim thick they aint have to have a hour glass but definitely gotta have thick thighs,you cant shame peoples body prefences,just associate with the right one's
I am thankful you made this video and some of your other videos ive watched.
Lol i call em out and tell em to 🤬off
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
As you should! Lol
i'm East African but i have noticed how darker-skinned men always say that I should date men darker than me because light skin men are girly
Truth....
Farkkk I get that all the time. The older women 🤢
THIS🎯🎯🎯💯💯💯🎤🎤🎤
Producers used to say Jada was too short. She kind of would have had a hard time though
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Well she still was in movies so…
I was at the pet store getting some food for my rabbit and I was minding my business when I saw some black guy staring at me from the end of the aisle, hiding in the corner of the aisle when I noticed him he started walking around the aisle and then got on the stairs above the aisle I was on pretending he was going to the 2nd floor. He kept watching me. I’m not even mixed I consider myself a brownskin girl kind of like karruche’s shade
I had a guy tell me I look like his cousin. He pulls up a pic on his phone of a 60 year old, gray haired, darker woman 🤦🏽♀️ Whet? 🤣
I dicied to be one of those people..cause am tired of searching why people compete with me,mean to me ,envious...am tired of why behaviour like this.. I just mirror there behaviour...I want to say ur wig look nappy and u look like my cousin father mother ...😁 Jesus's I want to be careless for anybody to talk crazy things even if their jaw drop to the floor
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
Yes I might make a video on how to get revenge in these moments 😂😂😂
I never hear that of Jada. And she never had the chops to be an oscar actress to be honest.
What is MLS?
@meredithgrey777
4 ай бұрын
Mixed or light skinned
Will Smith > Jada-Pinkett Smith 😂
@ExoticalsUnited
9 ай бұрын
he is. but jada couldve kept acting. she gave it up and decided to center her life around will which was obviously a huge mistake.
What does MLS stand for?
I does study get am pretty but I have no but Orr am pretty but am to thin or 🙄
I’ve experienced sooo many of these examples in the video and other instances with people being weird towards me, but I’ve been told it’s all in my head…
@ExoticalsUnited
7 ай бұрын
Right. There are thousands of us at this point. We can’t all be delusional.
One day I would love to do a live chat with you on Facebook or Instagram because there's a lot I want to get off my chest 🧰😮❤