Many English-language haiku poets have reduced the syllable length to 10-15 syllables. The Japanese language counts sounds, not syllables, therefore, most 17-syllable English haiku are too wordy. Higginson said that 12 to 15 syllables in English better approximates Japanese haiku in the number of words and the information given. Try it. You'll love it. Here's one I published in a haiku journal in the early 90s: The rain puddle in the car roof dent -- holds the whole moon Here's another favorite: Rainy blacktop her shopping cart full of yellow bananas

@lesnyk255

5 жыл бұрын

Love your 'ku! Strikingly visual, esp. the 2nd. Are you familiar with haiga? Essentially haiku with pictures. I've got a few posted at my YT channel. Feel free to peek at them or not. I tend to favor either a 3-5-3 or 4-6-4 structure, but there are times when strict line breaks ruin the flow - so I give myself permission to break them where they need to be. An example: "birdseed enough... / until / the evening grosbeaks". Eleven syls, but a strict 3-5-3 would have rendered it as "birdseed en / ough until the eve / ning grosbeaks". I let brevity and clarity of image trump the syllable count.

@donbaird

Жыл бұрын

You're absolutely correct. English is monosyllabic which brings about a problem when writing haiku; while Japanese are writing haiku in 9-11 "words" we often end up with almost 17 words -- one syllable per word. The most effective ELH is about 9 words. This brings about the closest emulation of Japanese intent. Haiku, the word itself is two English language syllables; in Japanese, it is 3 (ha-i-ku). Herein lies the problem. Geisha is two EL syllables; in Japanese sounds, it is three -- ge-i-sha. Our language is syllables, there's is "sounds." An interesting way to write them in English is short/long/short. There is no rule about this in Japan; but it helps begin to understand haiku and its Japanese feel and rhythm.

@jamesaritchie1

Жыл бұрын

It's pure junk written by those who can't or won't follow rules.

@jamesaritchie1

Жыл бұрын

@@donbaird It's complete BS. What anything is in Japanese is as meaningless as a fart in a tornado. In English, a haiku is 5-7-5. Period. Trying to make it otherwise is something only people who shouldn't be writing a grocery list would do.

@Serendip98

10 ай бұрын

"The Japanese language counts sounds, not syllables". No, they count "mores", a long syllable = 2 mores.

Frost bitten hands, blue Yet it melts the souls of man Twisted storm, one's heart Here is my haiku

Perfect architects Never make any mistakes Or create anything..

Moonlight waiting still Shivering in the cold night, Dancing Feathers, wind.

Down from the mountain Through the darkest woods we run. Still the tiger follows

I live on a barrier island, and we just went through Hurricane Florence. Trees are leaning west. Many fractured by the gale, Blown past three high tides.

@UCHISASK

3 жыл бұрын

Oh wow thats actually really good

Very nice overview and advice. Nowadays, however, would-be writers of haiku are encouraged to abandon the 17-syllable model, keep the three-line format, but maybe use fewer words, to follow the Japanese reality that 17 syllables in Japanese language, generally yield fewer actual words in translation than they would in English. Also, western poets have often experimented with writing haiku in only one line, or two.

@thementorproject925

2 жыл бұрын

If you abandon the poetic traditions, it's something else. So, call it something different. But, don't call the result haiku.

Considering taking a moment a day to sketch out a thought. A poem a day Makes one slow and contemplate - Now I am refreshed.

In spring's noon bright light Poem now ink on paper Memory blossoms. -Lance Carter

I did this about my hobby - cycle time trialling but it equally could describe running and other physical activity In hot, cold, wet, dry Chasing times and distances A lonely pursuit

Well-crafted haiku Is difficult to do right By light of cold moon. -Lance Carter

You are not my own No. You belong to many I am still alone

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

You had smol pp They had more pp So I’ll be back at night Have the dinner ready

yo, this is legit -- pausing, the height of summer ripe avocado

Challenge from a friend: Life according to Haiku! Starts and ends so soon!

@slevinchannel7589

3 жыл бұрын

1) Ok BUT WHY? Why is it 17 Syllables? How does that make it Art? Why all that? Sounds so arbritary and random! 2) What i am thinking of when i mean the same amount of words as Lines (for example, 4x4 or 5x5 or 6x6)?? Remind me, whats that?

walking in the park. I saw a dog; lost forlorn. One wag of tail love

@adrianngwengqi7772

4 жыл бұрын

Ronald Daniel nice

I am recently learning about this style of poetry and I was wondering if this one I made would be considered a true haiku: Midnight toads sit still, Waiting for the right moment To belt out sweet tunes.

@hoseokkidiwani4812

6 жыл бұрын

em/ey/see/81 love your haiku 😊😉👍🤘

@C2G2

5 жыл бұрын

em/ey/see/81 LOVE IT GREAT JOB! ❤️💯💯💯💯🌹

@marthenbone4024

4 жыл бұрын

On One Full moon night She watched shooting star alone And voice called her name

@Serendip98

10 ай бұрын

The sounds are harsh to my ear : midnighT ToadS Sit STill... sweeT Tunes. Difficult to prononce. Can't hear any "sweet tunes" in there, and anyway no toad tunes.

@emeysee8141

10 ай бұрын

@@Serendip98 Thank you and sorry. It does sound like a mouthful.

it gave me a shiver that dark shadow in the tree whispering my name.

A haiku about corn: Ancestral Spices A maize with no beginning Labyrinth of my past

@wafflefriesWAFFLEFRIES783

3 жыл бұрын

Now that is a delicious poem! 😋

@slevinchannel7589

3 жыл бұрын

@@wafflefriesWAFFLEFRIES783 1) Ok BUT WHY? Why is it 17 Syllables? How does that make it Art? Why all that? Sounds so arbritary and random! 2) What i am thinking of when i mean the same amount of words as Lines (for example, 4x4 or 5x5 or 6x6)?? Remind me, whats that?

Thanks very nice intro. Including examples might make it even more helpful!

Just discovered your channel. Love it and it is so very helpful to me. Thank you so much 🙏

天日した 風の音や 戻らる My Japenese poem. Translated: Under the sun [hearing the] sound of the wind--- returning back

Stopping by the woods On a snowy evening So peaceful, but I must go

@donavuansalazar1316

4 жыл бұрын

Beautiful

@eclairz9275

3 жыл бұрын

Quite evocative. It reminds me of "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening " by Robert Frost. Your syllable count is off though.

Dancing for the moon Not an obligation Yet my heart cries for the sun

@slevinchannel7589

3 жыл бұрын

1) Ok BUT WHY? Why is it 17 Syllables? How does that make it Art? Why all that? Sounds so arbritary and random! 2) What i am thinking of when i mean the same amount of words as Lines (for example, 4x4 or 5x5 or 6x6)?? Remind me, whats that?

Shadows dance and play, as she sat under the trees. Watching life go by!

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

Woooow see this one needs to be on the top. Just wow.

I have just started to be interested in Haiku and have only written one so far. I would love to hear what you think of it and if you have any help that would be wonderful! Thanks so much for this video. Here is my poem. The Apple tree died The brown leaves fell to the ground The birds mourned its death.

We have to get back on the origin of Haiku. Nobody notice but Japanese language has a particular "alphabet" that are only syllables and voyels. Ours, French or English, is letters that combine into multiples words and melody. Japanese's is limited, that's why word mean many things (like Shi for Death, Four or White). They focus on the use of words to describe. Ours focus on their melody, thus sound superficial content-wise. That why our language isn't compatible with Haikus. Their shortness seduce a lot of internauts but doesn't realize it is originated from a syllabic-based language. Haiku is the most abused form of poetry. It isn't an easy art like Minimalist or 4-komas. We use them blindly. We create ambuigity. Why not use couplet? But I greatly encourage the writing of Haiku. It is part of Poetry culture. Here are two I would like to share, translated from French: The florist leaves His boutic without a word The flowers faded Under the hot sun Of a tropical island - The sound of pages

Good haiku is very hard to write. Most of the time people reduce this great poetic art to a number of syllables. This is how a good haiku should look: Unfolding a map the cherry petals connect Europe and Japan Eduard Țară (Romania)

@Serendip98

10 ай бұрын

True, that's a good one.

Steam from coffee cups, Entwining and spiralling, As lovers eyes meet.

Embrace solitude I broke. The window shudders Drying wiped tears

CASCADES Cascades of stars fall, On my bleak world, with pure love, You repaint the sky. Haiku by Cody Barbu

Carmalized treetops Leaves departing their birthplace Yet roots never change

Oceans Peaceful calm water Wind erupts storm approaching Stillness shattering

Thank you so much

she is beautiful the waves close over her down down a slave to pearls.

Thanks for your advice. I'm free lately so I continued making haiku. I wanted to know if this one is a modern haiku or which of the two considered modern and why? Your suggestions for my improvement is greatly appreciated (by the way I'm from Philippines 🇵🇭🙂). 1-"Road Safety" Safety in the road, passenger's life is at cost gear up or die young! 2-"Crying Flowers" Flowers in my sight, unveiling sadness and fear blooming after tears. ♡mafe falcuto 🙆‍♀️

@donbaird

Жыл бұрын

Haiku do not have titles. The best way to begin is by constructing a fragment/phrase relationship within them -- where two images are contrasted (a very basic way to see it). teetering grass - just moments ago a dragonfly Teetering grass is the fragment; the next two lines are considered the phrase. Read a lot of them. It becomes apparent rather quickly that way. waning moon . . . the scent of autumn in a tea cup Fragment/phrase again. You can also change it so the phrase is first, fragment 2nd. Hope this helps, though brief.

@Dog_Association

10 ай бұрын

I love both of these

Quiet prayers sent there Snows of the high Himalaya shelter ancient gods

@sophiaangelini4368

4 жыл бұрын

Lovely. Will be remembered.

@ishusingh7859

3 жыл бұрын

Himalaya itself has 4 syllables so it is not haiku

@meervi77

3 жыл бұрын

Try HI MAL YA the intended sound. Could leave out that a but seemed wrong. In English 5 7 5 is the ideal but allowances have to be made. Quiet prayers sent there Snows of the high Himal ya shelter ancient gods

@ishusingh7859

3 жыл бұрын

Sorry for telling you wrong. I now understand rules are only for conservation of meaning of haiku. If you respect the reason of haiku Every thing is fine

@meervi77

Жыл бұрын

@@ishusingh7859 English haiku are 5 7 5 but can be a so called liberated haiku with extra or less in any line if the image or thought of the poem needs the variant.

Question: What about several 3-line haiku poems put together under the same theme? How do you call this?

@sean_2719

4 жыл бұрын

poly-haiku poly-ku?? i dont know. i dont think theres a name for it. would be an interesting idea, though; several haikus in one

@slevinchannel7589

3 жыл бұрын

1) Ok BUT WHY? Why is it 17 Syllables? How does that make it Art? Why all that? Sounds so arbritary and random! 2) What i am thinking of when i mean the same amount of words as Lines (for example, 4x4 or 5x5 or 6x6)?? Remind me, whats that?

@Serendip98

10 ай бұрын

@@slevinchannel7589 The rhythm of 4x4 has nothing to do with 5 / 7 / 5.

I'd love to see/hear some examples of what you consider to be good haiku, especially with either an obvious juxtaposition or one you can easily point out if it's not obvious. I have a couple I'd be willing to share but can't locate them at the moment.

@poesho

8 жыл бұрын

+Angela Micheli Otwell The Basho haiku about the frog jumping into the pond is great, but it can be a confusing example since most of us have to read it in translation. Anyway, here are 31 translations - maybe the truest translation is in there somehwere: www.bopsecrets.org/gateway/passages/basho-frog.htm I think this is a great example (as if I have a right to comment on the effectiveness of a haiku when looking at the guy considered to be the father of the form!) because it sets up the juxtaposition of silence and noise, or of the pond and the frog. It's one of those poems you can really meditate on for a while: The frog represents life; the pond, stillness; and yet the sound only exists when the two combine...I dunno, there's something about it that really speaks to me :) I'd love to see your suggestions if you can track them down.

@amotwell

8 жыл бұрын

+Poetry Show This week is a busy one for me, but I hope to pick this convo up later. Thanks for getting back to me so quickly :)

@juliashaw1

5 жыл бұрын

Learning to Haiku! Snapshot of a pond can miss: The Bashu frog splash!

The Oak and The Kite - Past crooks of midnight sullen, hateful song is sung An crow’s keen watching. Unnerves the front porch A hanging oak tree gasping because of a kite Shadows now dancing, Oh out before the tree eyes A dead thing hanging.

Here's mine: Sitting in the dark My last night here - a train sound Turns time inside out

Shaking earth I fall. Rising from the sand I see Ocean gone. I run.

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

So I liked. Then I comment. Should I sub?

The dead bird i saw Singing in her golden cage Was our English Queen..

I'm not normally able to comment on YT, but this gives me an opportunity to share a Haiku that I've written recently. This is "Morning on Baker" The darkness recedes And a ray of sun hits peak A fish bites the bait

@Serendip98

10 ай бұрын

No title for a haiku.

Hello. I would like to know if these words honor the tradition of haiku? I so appreciate your videos. Thank you. Evening sun dropping Symphony of cicadas The mountain shadows

@yoga.theawarenessinstitute482

3 жыл бұрын

@Rafael Roy no worries. 😌

@MagentaCarpet

3 жыл бұрын

@@yoga.theawarenessinstitute482 I thought it was sweet, I love the sound of cicadas

@yoga.theawarenessinstitute482

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you. 🙏🏼

@slevinchannel7589

3 жыл бұрын

@@yoga.theawarenessinstitute482 1) Ok BUT WHY? Why is it 17 Syllables? How does that make it Art? Why all that? 2) What i am thinking of when i mean the same amount of words as Lines (for example, 4x4 or 5x5 or 6x6)??

the night air is cold angry hands washing my hair dear god i’m lonely

String of red jewels, Climb a black satin shoulder. Night rush hour traffic.

ashfall the tears that leave her eyes

A Samurai tale--- Fear me not little rabbit--- Lets share this quiet spring

My first haiku try The red balloon Released into the sky And bang, it pops

she is beautiful this whisperer to magpies she wore blue today

Apes, that's all we are Climbing down the trees, with keys To a red Tesla

Scorching summertime a greasy, moist burger cooks Whilst watching the heat

The Haiku of Basho - 3 Links; Basho's Trail, The Narrow Road, and Haiku 1) Basho's Trail Follow the trail that inspired the Japanese poet Matsuo Basho’s most famous work. In the footsteps of Japan’s haiku master Excerpt: Basho's trailMatsuo Basho was born in 1644 and by the time of his death in 1694 had become one of Japan’s most celebrated poets. In 1689, the haiku master -- known for his rejection of urban life - took a 2,400km trip through the northeastern provinces of Japan’s main island, Honshu, and this trip inspired his masterpiece, a book of personal narratives and haiku called Oku no Hosomichi (Narrow Road to the Deep North). After Basho left his home in Edo (Tokyo), he walked north through the uplands and lowlands of the northern province of Tohuku, then headed southwest along the shores of the Sea of Japan to the central city of Ogaki. Three centuries later, people still travel parts of the same trail on a pilgrimage to follow in Basho’s footsteps. www.bbc.com/travel/story/20121009-in-the-footsteps-of-japans-haiku-master +++ 2) The Narrow Road to the Deep North book by Basho, entire contents online, free (wikipedia excerpt) Oku no Hosomichi (奥の細道, originally おくのほそ道, meaning "Narrow road to/of the interior"), translated alternately as The Narrow Road to the Deep North and The Narrow Road to the Interior, is a major work of haibun by the Japanese poet Matsuo Bashō, considered one of the major texts of Japanese literature of the Edo period.[1] The first edition was published posthumously in 1702.[2] The text is written in the form of a prose and verse travel diary and was penned as Bashō made an epic and dangerous journey on foot through the Edo Japan of the late 17th century. While the poetic work became seminal of its own account, the poet's travels in the text have since inspired many people to follow in his footsteps and trace his journey for themselves. In one of its most memorable passages, Bashō suggests that "every day is a journey, and the journey itself home".[3] The text was also influenced by the works of Du Fu, who was highly revered by Bashō.[4] Of Oku no Hosomichi, Kenji Miyazawa once suggested, "It was as if the very soul of Japan had itself written it."[5] pdf file: minookatap.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/the-narrow-road-to-the-deep-north.pdf +++ 3) Classic Japanese haiku, including those of Basho www.sacred-texts.com/shi/jh/jh02.htm

Evening rain stops Frogs start croaking in the dark My mind awakens

My masters advice. The Pass at Ashigara Best to use horses

there in the temple her cloak of white eyes so grey the goddess of the moon

English syllables and Japanese sound units are very different. The 5-7-5 rule does not work for English. In English, it would be closer to 3-5-3.

FORTRESS Old fortress, you search For the eyes that watch you dear, Black veils wail in white. Haiku by Cody Barbu April 25, 2021

a star fell years ago. eyes burned in the alien sun. lost far from home. Tears

A truck by my hill taking every time my soil seeking depth in it

a field of landmines - red daisies

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

Good one

@jaundrevanbreda

3 жыл бұрын

@@user-gq6dg7ee6d Thank you.

three men high on drugs one is angry, huts his fist soaked by the rain

Kind to all nearby Pray for those so far away Tide of pain, recede

Goodbye” Peace? Ball up your fist. I am waiting in the cold. Fight! Don’t leave me here. -Amber L.

a fox and cat will sometimes just dance under the moon fireflies and crickets

FORTRESS Old fortress, you search For the eyes that watch you dear, Black veils wail in white. Haiku by Cody Barbu

my father sent ravens but the bell in not ready the village must wait

Lotus grows on rock Both nestled on wet shoreline Tides pull them apart

Young flower budding By a busy boulevard The traffic rolls on

Idle thoughts explore And paint, inaccurately Landscapes of the mind

Deep woods. Now the rain. Warm in my tent boots off lights out Tomorrow the mountain

VENTILATOR As the sun goes down Standing on tiptoes - i stretch To catch my last breath...

I made a video on haikus, if anyone is interested!

under leaf litter in the empire of the ants a beam of moonlight

leaving my body then getting small even smaller ion glow of atoms

1) Ok BUT WHY? Why is it 17 Syllables? How does that make it Art? Why all that? Sounds so arbritary and random! 2) What i am thinking of when i mean the same amount of words as Lines (for example, 4x4 or 5x5 or 6x6)?? Remind me, whats that?

@atsukorichards1675

2 ай бұрын

Haiku came from the longer poetry form, 5-7-5-7-7, and took the first half. And those 5 and 7 letter combinations sound very nice and fit-in, rhythmically, in Japanese language. It is hard to explain - but it is usually lost when Haiku is translated into the different languages.

A pain in his chest Where his mother nurses him Grandad waits to die..

High above these walls faded flags wave in the wind ghosts of kings reign here

Fötter som svampar Instängda hela dagen Havet känns så kallt

@atsukorichards1675

2 ай бұрын

I like it! お見事!

Lovely was the land Then a cold wind came for us The men from the East

Haiku is plural, the singular is haikai.

Haunting the words are Uttered harsh at the drive through Ice cream machine broke

Why is everyone watching in 2020

we can all agree for a fact 70% of this dude's subscribers are boomers

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

Some boomers are awesome. Like that guy who lived till 114.

Haiku are serious stuff to some. The rules the rules they shout yet post no example of their own for instruction.

Ghost Of Tsushima brought me here-

The spastic robocop Climbing into his wheelchair Was not quite PC..

Google classroom brought me here

It is a fool’s job Stepping into the darkness Without prior knowledge (Is it a haiku though?)

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

This is trash and so basic.

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

And it doesn’t even paint a picture, just some advice bs, prior knowledge? That’s spelling out, “Be afraid if you don’t know” You coulda even did something like this. Stare into darkness. White folks in scary movies. It’s minimum wage. In fact I’m gonna post this ur horrible.

@eanderson9599

3 жыл бұрын

@@user-gq6dg7ee6d damn bro chill

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

@@eanderson9599 Lol I remember why I did that. I was hoping she make some funny insult haiku xD

What is wrong with me I cannot write a haiku Oh shit i just did (Feel free to judge,this is my first haiku)

Haiku is not easy, at all.

Perfect architects Never make any mistakes Or create anything..

The dead bird i saw Singing in her golden cage Was our English Queen..

A Samurai tale Fear me not little rabbit Lets share this quiet spring

@user-gq6dg7ee6d

3 жыл бұрын

A rabbit tail But you have a sword I hear fire, bye.

@meervi77

3 жыл бұрын

@@user-gq6dg7ee6d I try to paint a picture in my haiku. I see a horse with all the trappings. Samurai with sword in scabbard over his back. Leather creaking as he bends to drink. There. A rabbit by that tree. Ha I see the world in that second.

Well-crafted haiku Is difficult to do right By light of cold moon. -Lance Carter

Lonesome coyote In his den safe from the storm. Mother come home soon.