Starting Over...Yes. I survived stage 3 bilateral breast cancer at 37 years old, and here I am at 44... my life changed entirely. New job, new home, new friends, new boyfriend (now fiancé!), new outlook on life, new priorities, new goals, new purpose. It ALL changed--most of it at once and beyond my control. I had no choice, but to accept it and start over. It was hard, and still is at times after all these years, but a new normal can take a while, especially after a HUGE life change. All the best to everyone out there starting over! Cheers to you! You can do it! "The only constant is change." And yes I totally agree with Michel, there really is a grief process...and it isn't linear. It can sneak up unexpectedly. And yeah, take a social media break or unfollow whatever makes you feel bad. xoxo.

I found you when I first started going through my divorce process. It was really nice to find a content creator who went through divorce as I’m now going through it. It makes me feel less alone. I really enjoyed this video, it was so helpful, and really helps shift your mindset!❤thank you for sharing!!!

When i started looking for divorce content you were one of the first people I found and this content has really given me a lot of hope. I'm not religious but I appreciate your loving understanding and I hope you give christians a role model on how to have your faith but be empathetic to people in other situations I don't see a lot of content like that ❤️

The saddest part is when you go through a breakup and you have all this extra time but you realize you have forgotten who you are and what your hobbies are.

It's real easy to trap yourself in a new apartment and fear leaving. I've struggled with this one, but you make valid points here: I love just finding ways like you mentioned to seek our positivity however it looks, but toxicity does the direct opposite and kills you. Thank you for telling me it's okay to wake up one day feeling happy and another to feel like I'm lost and confused and upset or emotionally drained. Thank you for telling me the grieving loss is okay, but it's really easy to think it's not when you are in the middle of it and that it's not normal.

I just started a pottery class yesterday and had so much fun. I'm such an introvert who's afraid to socialise but I did so much talking and everyone was so lovely

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Awe yay I love this!! So glad you had fun🎉🎉🥰

The things that helped me through my separation from a very toxic relationship (of 13 years!) Were super simple. I left my job. I had an aunt who could take me in for a while so i could leave my state and truly get the space i needed to get through the worst of the pain. Then i lived with a friend in a different state for another 2 years. (Ended up dating, now we have an amazing child together and love our family) for me, the physical distance and the time not working were so essential. I could let my feelings just happen instead of having to suppress them. I found a support group i went to for several month's. I challenged myself to speak up at every meeting. Just getting practice at talking to strangers instead of hiding in my shell and letting it grow even more intimidating to talk over time. I did do therapy, and it definitely helped. And i tried very much not to give myself a timeline to be "better" by. It took 13 years to get as broken down as i was. I wanted to be better after a year. Even that felt like forever. Honestly, its been 5 now, and i didnt start dramatically getting better until after 3. Im still not 100% where i want to be, but i AM at a point that is good. And telling myself daily it takes as long as it takes helped to keep the panic over this is taking too long at bay.

I just recently started following you and I can't tell you how much much I needed this video. I am actually moving back to my home town in Dallas after a few months living in Austin. I have been struggling sooo much with Austin living, my work life balance, wanting to be closer to family, etc. So many of the things you mentioned here are exactly what I have been doing to get plugged back into Dallas again. Giving myself a ton of grace coming back to Dallas! so excited but I am also looking forward to that "refresh mindset". So glad I found you! :)

I love your wisdom and always relate to your advice. Thank you for not being afraid of pouring your heart out ❤

my husband filed for divorce from me & im 19. we were together for a year & a half, married eight months. i found you when we first started struggling in our relationship & prayed hard that i wouldn’t be going through a divorce, but here i am. thank you for your words. thank you for your wisdom. thank you for your kindness.

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

I am really sorry friend!! Praying for you during this difficult season!! 🤍🤍

@AshleyMurphyArt

Жыл бұрын

Lifting you up Kadee, may you see His mercies new each day as you begin to thrive in this season.

@debrawildrick9601

Жыл бұрын

Not an easy road. My thoughts are with you. I just hope that you do not blame yourself only. It takes two. xxoo

@mylienichols9359

Жыл бұрын

I am in the process of divorcing my husband at the age of 22 and we were only married for 3 years. I understand the pain and fear, and I hope you are doing a little bit better now.

loved this chat so so much :') thank you for sharing so openly. walked through a breakup the beginning of last year and am going into another season of change this fall; all these points resonated too much with me & are so true

Great advice for anyone who feels stuck, and feels they don’t know who they are anymore. Thank you.

I know you’ve been through a lot & that’s why you have this sense of clarity but I have to say that you are so much wiser than I was at 26❤

I am 41 year old, married, Jewish, pretty liberal woman with a terminally ill 7 and a half year old daughter and i just love your content so much even though we have aeveral differences in our place in life. Its been amazing to watch you rebuild yourself and your life. You are such a kind hearted, sweet, creative, funny, silly, talented woman and I am thrilled to see you where you are now.

@katiebo-batie9267

Жыл бұрын

Sending you all the love and hope to keep you strong❤❤

@jeneinstein

Жыл бұрын

@@katiebo-batie9267 thank you so much.

@lesliefleming6634

Жыл бұрын

Thinking of you! ❤

@jeneinstein

Жыл бұрын

@@lesliefleming6634 thank you so much.

@lorralorra222

Жыл бұрын

Be strong my dear, my prayers are with u xxxx

Hey Michel. But I found your video last year when my life hit rock bottom. I was depressed and leaving my bed seems like a huge deal. Watching you heal and transform to this beautiful version of you gives me hope that I can do it too. I signed up for therapy and am currently in my first year of my PhD program. For the first time since forever, life seems worth living. Thank you for making me feel less lonely in my healing journey. You truly are a blessing during the difficult times.

This is really good advice! Thank you for being so thoughtful and kind!

You always amaze me with the great advice you give. Very thoughtful and wise. ❤️

Always love your vids. Thank you for being such an inspiration in my life 💗

I needed this.. so much. Thank you.

The timing of this video 🙌 Thank you for the tips!

Michel - you have no idea the impact your channel has had on my life. I needed this. I recently ended a long term relationship, moved home to Texas (across the country), and found a new job. Change is scary, but can also be so profoundly beautiful. Thank you so much for this community 🤍

This is perfect timing for me. Moving across the country and starting a new job in 2 weeks. Thank you for your videos ☺️

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Yay I am so glad it was helpful friend!! 🤍🤍🫶🏼🫶🏼

Thanks Michel. My husband and I moved from Alberta canada to Pennsylvania. Our kids stayed in Canada and we're now living with my mom. We're here to care for her. It's been so hard to have given up so much and my whole Canadian life. But my husband gets to live an American life now and hes loving it lol I enjoy your channel so much

You're an angel for sharing this,you have no idea how much I needed to hear it. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart 🩷🎀✨️

I met my two bestest friends, girls that I consider family and have enormous love and respect for...and we were all brought together through failed relationships and the journey afterwards....tons of crying together, discussing the "whys" and literally baring our souls to eachother. Lifting eachother up, being a landing place for one anohter....just an incredible gift which is the understatement of a lifetime. I was SO LUCKY to land with them.

I love this, what a brilliant topic and conversation 🌟

Meetup is a great resource. I am from California (SF Bay Area) and have lived in Paris, Alabama, and most recently Albuquerque and I used Meetup to find people with whom I share things in common and I have found great friendships this way.

This was a great video....very relatable and valuable. Thank you!

Love you content, very relatable for a twenty something girlie ❤

Such fantastic advice!

Thank you for these recent videos Michel! I've realized recently that my relationship isn't fulfilling me and am getting ready to leave. It's been five years that we've been together and we've started a life together. I appreciate this video as it's helping me guide my way through.

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Sending you love and peace during this time Jackie!! 🤍🤍

Some great tips. Man, I wish you tube would have been a thing when I was a struggling divorced single mother. I was so lost for so long. I think that’s why I enjoy watching you so much. You are doing so great. I cheer you on every video.

needed to hear this! very inspirational

I can’t Thank You enough for your honesty and you being forthcoming with us! You have a good heart, and it shows! Ohh to be 26 again! 😂 35 years ago I was just starting out in a relationship that continued in marriage that did end up in divorce! So, I understand the having to start all over again right from scratch! Stay strong 💪 and keep growing!

This is my last year in the East coast before I move further West and this video helped me so much! I really needed to hear this! Starting over is hard but I’m oh so excited!

Thank you Michel, that was really helpful ❤️

This video comes during my own start over so it really helped here this, Thanks!!!

I think the in between changing motion of healing and growing to be back and better is hard to grasp because I lack patience, so I expect immediate results, and I’ve learned it’s not linear so be patient with yourself, listen to your body, and praise yourself for the good days.

Thank you Michel for this 🫶

change is so hard but these tips are so true !

Really found this helpful Michel!

Didn’t expect this video to be helpful to me because I’m not going through a divorce but I am starting over in other ways. I just moved across the country, house shopping, and starting my own business.

I love these sit down informative chats so much. I really resonated with this video...ive moved from my home country (UK) to 3 countries in 6 years (Malta, Cyprus & Mexico) ...i completely agree with initially feeling settled and then it hits a few months later 😮 its definitely a process!!! 🙃

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

🤍🤍 Thank you friend!!

I never comment. But this video was LIFE CHANGING. I recently retired and sold my house and moved into an apt in another city, etc........I have been slowly doing it myself and just recently joined a walking club and a pilates class. Baby steps................... Love you!

Great advice 😊. Thank you 😊 x

I don’t know that taking off time when you’re going through something like a divorce is a good idea. Sometimes it’s better to keep your mind active instead of dwell on what’s happening.

Hey, I just wanted to say that it really means a lot personally that you are a Christian who embraces the lgbt community and it gives me hope that more people will be more accepting in the future💜

@m.a.8032

Жыл бұрын

Yes, how very Christian.

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

This is very touching! Thank you and love you friend!! 🤍🤍

@jenniferroy6288

Жыл бұрын

Agree! You show love and light!

@daynabee5521

Жыл бұрын

As Jesus loved all.💜

@m.a.8032

Жыл бұрын

@@daynabee5521 no he didn't. It's amazing how people change their religion and still call it the same

This is incredible timing. In the next few months I'm either going to be solo parenting for 9 months out of the year, OR, our whole family is upping and moving continents for a year. It's terrifying and so incredibly exciting.

I wonder if asking for help is at times cultural. I’m Mexican and we think nothing of asking for help. We have a communal mentality, we live life together, share (maybe a little too much at times), and know that we will help each other. I noticed that my non-latin friends have declined my help more than my latin friends.

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Oo it definitely could be!!

@karinalumen9722

Жыл бұрын

I think its also because a lot of people “offer help” as a curtsy and dont mean it. So they dont want to be a “burden” because -helping is a burden in their mind. it was the biggest hurdle as someone that grew up in a “help” culture to understand anglo communities

@user-mv2tg8hc8c

Жыл бұрын

@@karinalumen9722 Makes sense!

Very nice suggestions. Surround yourself with positive and look for something that helps your heart and mind. My ceramics class brings me joy too.

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

🤍🤍I love this!!

I Love ❤️ that you are are so "Emotionally Mature" at such a young age! I am going to be 60 this year and I enjoy your vlogs and learning from you! Thank you for sharing yourself in such a public way. 😊

Thank you, I’m going through some big changes too new job as a result of a bad relationship trying to rid myself of resentment.

Everything about your content reflects YOU - beautiful, cozy, inspiring, honest, kind, impressive and meaningful! You share your love of the simple things with us and I appreciate every minute of it. Your channel is my happy place 🥹

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Awe, thank you for the kind words friend!!🤍🤍

Such great advice! I find so much comfort in your videos. Navigating finalizing a divorce and moving abroad at the same time is a lot. I find it helpful to focus on being grateful for the opportunities I have and for new adventures. I think the getting just one thing done a day advice is really great advice, so you don't burn yourself out. I've started doing an energy check. Asking myself do I have the energy for that task? And, if the answer is no and nothing is on fire I put it off. Really hard for me. I'm the get everything done on my to do list person, so this is new but liberating!

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Oo I really like that!! Thanks for sharing friend!! 🤍🤍

Hi, Michel! Happy Monday and welcome to first day on the fifth month of May!😊😊😊😊😊😎☀💙💙💙💙💙🌷💖💖💖💖💖💖🎇👍.

This video really helped. I just went through a bad break up and now i feel like im a little lost with all the time that i have now 😅. Thanks for reminding i can just do whatever i want and thats ok.

..Hi michel i experienced that kind of start over in my life..leaving my abusive partner, moving to another country to live in and its really hard because its completely different from where i came from but I eventually cope in and I'm happy and content in my life now and i found the love of my life too 😊❤😊

The biggest for me was having compassion for myself as I was moving and starting school

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

YES YES YES !! 🤍

This is my favorite video. Its been great to watch your videos, i just found you recently. The last year and a half has been a nightmare for me. My mom got covid and unexpectedley died, I quit my job and decided to give up that career completely (my mom and I worked in the same field and together for 5 years). I felt depressed and lost and worried about my future. After a few months I decided to get a completely different degree online. So i started school all over again but then I found out that my boyfriend of 4 years (but known for 14 yrs) was having an affair. So in the midst of an extremely hard semester and now shock and heartbreak on top of it, I had to pack up and move cities to come back home with my dog. I have been battling grief and extreme heartbreak and just really shock of what life has thrown me. I got off of social media and have been focusing on school and being with family and friends. Loss and grief are definitely not linear but its important to pick yourself off of the floor in those moments. You get a tiny bit stronger each time. I've also learn how vital it is to lean on God. From other people that I have come across I believe what you said is the most real thing, learning to pivot and start over is something everyone will have to face at one point or another. Thanks for making this video and for just being you 🩷

Thank you for this video hit home

Hi Michel good morning happy Tuesday morning and I hope you having amazing day today and I loved your vlogs and you are amazing Supporter

Heya Lady! I'm a new small business owner, and I'm not really sure what I need, can wait on, or have recommendations for habits and practices. Could you do a video or series on this topic! Love you lady

Lovely video. Micheal ❤ hope doing ok. Have a Good week 🥰

I'm starting my first "real adult job" on Thursday, so big change is coming for me. Thanks for the video❤

@SF-op5ix

Жыл бұрын

You’ve got this. Just did that last year. Be gracious to yourself. There’s going to be a lot to learn and take in and that’s normal.

@chrissiedcohen

Жыл бұрын

Congrats! Ask all of the questions! That has always been one of my favorite things when hiring new staff!!

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations friend!! You got this! I’ve heard it takes a year to fully learn the job, so please have grace for yourself🤍🤍

@fully_book_ed

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for the support and kind words!❤

I been there and as scary as it is? It also is exhilarating. Learning who you are now and what your likes and dislikes S I anyone going through anything big, I live by this quote “Everything happens for a reason”. ❤❤

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Very true friend!!🤍

Yes I needed this. After 26 years my husband left me. Just totally broken.

@juligabehart

Жыл бұрын

❤

@blueseptember2174

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. It's mind boggling. ❤

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry friend, thank you for sharing your story with me!! Sending my love to you during this difficult time!! 🤍🤍

@AshleyMurphyArt

Жыл бұрын

My goodness… here’s a piece of encouragement from another here in this community…. You will flourish…. Times are the hardest when we think but I already was… there’s something magical about being in a new season and having to walk it out. Just know people believe in you, people need you and you are kind and loved.

@SuperCandyjunkie

Жыл бұрын

@@AshleyMurphyArt Bless your heart. Thank you for your response. Some days are really hard wondering your worth. I just have to find it and believe in myself.

I love this!!!! I am "starting over" in a way because I am in my first ever relationship and I am wanting to eventually start over and apply for my Masters which means moving to Baltimore as well (currently I live half an hour outside of Baltimore) and I want to do Research AND I have to do Clinical Rotations. And I love all the changes I have coming my way and it is scary...but it is AMAZINGLY scary!!!!

@2134knees

Жыл бұрын

And I struggle with asking for help as well. And I love helping others but not sure why I struggle with asking for it!!!

@2134knees

Жыл бұрын

And I also get in my own head about things.

5 years ago i got divorced, moved back in with my parents for 6 months, moved 1 hr away to a city (I'm from a small town) started a new job, and got my own apartment. It takes help from loved ones to handle it all well 😅

The cover picture for this video makes me giggle because it’s very similar to the cover photo on your latest Q&A

kinda random but i saw you have an Ally bank card, do you like it?? i have a savings account there but that’s it. do you recommend and do you do the roundups and stuff? love you, friend!!

Aesthetic wise I get the old film look, but the effect can be flashy on lighter clips. I needed to turn my phone around to listen because the effect was causing a headache and overstimulation, but for others it could cause seizures /gen

When Michel said "and I know I'm 35" I was like wait wait wait Michel we're just 26 😂 then I realized it was an example 😂

did you ever act on Rizzoli and Isles?

🥰

I always like your videos.. nothing wrong with your content.. you are great! Also, I wanted to share a reminder.. no insult intended. Think about the using soy candles to reduce chances of the fragrance or essential oils getting into the air for Max. xxoo I hope I didn't offend you.. You are a perfect Mom for Max. I just try to spread info if it could help. I think you are GREAT and love watching your videos. Jordy is the best and I am happy you found each other. You are blessed.

You're like a therapist ❤😮

❤

I just lost my job as I was affected by layoffs last week, have to start over in lots of ways so excited to watch this video!

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Sending you love friend!! 🤍

8:39 - Something you said that was meaningful to me was when you said to be intentional about taking time to do something you enjoy. Maybe that means taking a walk, or walking to a local coffee shop. I am not currently in the middle of a huge life transition. But a couple years ago, I was in college. I had dropped out in 2020 because it was too much for me. I was getting burned out, with my class assignments, but also the life stressors in other areas, like, I was also moving at the same time. Not to a different state, just a different house. Anyway, there are other things around the house I need to get done. I was so stressed, so I just let those things go. And now, it's so overwhelming to just think of doing what I need to do. I never thought about being intentional about taking time to breathe, whether it's going for a walk, or going to a coffee shop, or whatever. There would be times when I was in college, and I would stop to breathe. Not because it was intentional, but because I was drowning and I needed to come up for air. It wasn't out of intention, but out of necessity. And I think that I need to change that going forward. Whether it's going through a huge transition or even just tackling a huge project, or being a busy college student, I will need to learn to intentionally make time to breathe - instead of just trying push through. It could help me avoid burn out in the future. Thank you for dating this. It was what I needed to hear. Seriously, this could be life changing for me.

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing friend! Proud of you for knowing what you needed to do and change! You can do this, it can be so overwhelming! I find taking one day at a time helpful!! 🤍🤍🫶🏼🫶🏼I’m rooting for you!

@valerielinares2068

Жыл бұрын

@@MichelJanse you're so sweet, thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment. 🙂

Gurl, i wish i had a sister 😅

🧡💛🧡💛🧡

Hola😌🇨🇱🌹

Finding a biblically solid church that stays true to scripture, is a great place to find friends. It’s very hard to find a true church these days though, that teach the gospel and are not WOKE.

Consider this: No one can 'make' you do anything, we talk ourselves into the feelings of being made fun of...it's called self sabotage. Be responsible for your decisions! No more He or She made me...uh uh uh

💋💋 Michel 😍🥰

🫶🏼

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

🤍

Who in the world can divorce you?

@cristamartin3070

Жыл бұрын

She divorced him, because his decisions did not morally align. Period.

@r.m5883

Жыл бұрын

@@cristamartin3070 he was a criminal! Who morally aligns with that

@liliesofthefield5310

Жыл бұрын

​@@cristamartin3070 I wasn't her choice, she said so in her first divorce video

@lolal-t2027

Жыл бұрын

Well you must be new. Their mariage fell apart because of unfaithfulness(from him) and he was just a terrible person overall.

@cristamartin3070

Жыл бұрын

@@liliesofthefield5310 of course it wasn’t her choice! HE LEFT HER NO CHOICE!

Thank you so much for this video michel. 🤍 In january I was in busy season in tallahassee with a boyfriend and a great apartment. Then my puppy got attacked by another dog, my boyfriend and I broke up, and I had to move back to my hometown for the first time since I was a teenager. Today I started a new job, on June 30th I move into a new apartment. I joined a new church down here. Absolutely everything changed for me but I am trying to adapt to the change and lean on my faith as a christian. I paid for therapy. I just got baptized last month. I'm doing the best I can but man the last 4 months have been extremely hard. Completely starting over. Truly thank you so much for this video. 🤍

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry friend, thank you for sharing!! Praying for you during this change and that you would find great community🤍🤍

No to the outro song, try again 🫶🏼

Love this!!!🌸!!! Everyone should watch this… it’s very inspiring and relatable in so many ways. It really is ok….. it’s ok to except change and to grow and change. 🤍

@MichelJanse

Жыл бұрын

🥹🫶🏼