*”figuring out if you’re trans is such an exhausting topic”* ohhh myyy goddd it sure is man.

@boiledkettles6066

4 жыл бұрын

Sofeea DeLeon ugh it is

@ew992

4 жыл бұрын

Right!

@rowena4663

4 жыл бұрын

OMG ugh it IS

@idk-ou2qm

4 жыл бұрын

bro young me would only pick out boy clothes from the store so I never felt off, I was so confused when I found out about lgbtq I know now that it was so clear

@idk-ou2qm

4 жыл бұрын

also I would only play as male in any game if I had to be a girl I wouldn't play

Me: :) The voice inside my head: WHAT IF YOUR NOT TRANSSSSSSSSSSSS Me: :(

@benihyaamy4227

4 жыл бұрын

Collin Beltran literally me every day

@deadmed9345

4 жыл бұрын

I feel this

@idontknowwhyiamherewow7780

4 жыл бұрын

This is me 24/7 I’m terrified that I’ll come out and not really mean it then if I’m allowed to, I’ll physically transition and do testosterone and still not feel comfortable and then have to spend more money to de-transition which might be troublesome

@redrebels7071

4 жыл бұрын

Relatable.

@w4ltersubs548

4 жыл бұрын

Hopefully some fucking dumbass doesn’t have to ruin this reply section 🥺

I'm stuck in this loop of "am I really trans or do I just hate myself?" *I've been in this loop for years. send help-*

@mooncrumble9036

3 жыл бұрын

@@lynnashton1926 I've scimmed through the channel just now. Seems like a helpful tool & I'll be sure to check it out more. Thanks for the recommendation C:

@mxchikai

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@zachrustenburg4657

3 жыл бұрын

I honestly feel the same way, it’s like a sort of identity crisis if you look at it in a certain light. And it really sucks, because I’ve been depressed ever since my body started changing back when I was a freshman. Honestly, it’s been four long school years of confusion and depression but I kept it bottled up really tight and I just told people I was depressed because of *insert random sad thing here* You should definitely not jump into this decision blindly only to find half way through the process that you actually don’t feel trans and you end up regretting your decision for the rest of your life. That’s why I’m really doing some research and considering it deeply before I decide. I should add, I am currently male and am considering transitioning to female.

@Jasmyncortez

3 жыл бұрын

Same here idk if it just my head I been going throw some depression and some anxiety and it keeps coming in my head about trans stuff and Idk if I can handle it is so hard for me to make a big decision like that idk wht to I feel like I should just wait till I’m in a happy place and feel more better to found out that that’s we’re I want to be and I idk if it’s just a phase are not are just my over thinking crap.🥺

@jemstevens3345

3 жыл бұрын

Saaaame. I’m trying right now to attempt being happy before I make any decisions about my gender, so I’ve booked a therapist and have to go to the gym for a school thing. If it’s about my body and not my gender, then going to the gym will help me realise. If it’s a mental issue, hopefully therapy will help. But ima just give it time, ATLEAST 2 more years to try and work on myself!

Me: I think I'm trans Also me: What if people say its a phase? What if my friends leave me? What if my dad yells at me? What if I'm wrong?

@mivabricks11

4 жыл бұрын

Same. I’m pretty sure I’m genderfluid, but idk. Maybe it’s a phase! Ahhh.

@cricketuhm

4 жыл бұрын

same

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

Allie.Madison check out Pique Resilience Project

@tryhardthewof6936

3 жыл бұрын

That's what I'm going through now I've learned that I'm confident and I like my new pronouns he/him

@xxaangell08

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so scared to tell my parents so want to be a boy because when I was 10 I told my mom I want to be a boy she said no you were born a girl you stay a girl. Or sometimes she would say don't say that. I am so confused help.

I feel like life would be so much easier if I was born a boy Who’s with me ❤️❤️ 👇🏻

@thenonhumanalien5423

5 жыл бұрын

Zeppy Playz I need help I think I’m mtf but I’m like 60 percent male and like 40 percent female is that enough 2 be trans I need help

@MillionaireMindsetmental

5 жыл бұрын

Who do u feel comfortable being and most happy being that’s all that matters

@robertperry9438

5 жыл бұрын

Zeppy Playz same I hate being a girl so much

@chickennuggetog3897

5 жыл бұрын

Same

@forrealleiirichardmckee4611

5 жыл бұрын

Girl here

“I just want to say a FEW words” ..... the video is 18 minutes long...😂😂

@AsterSpain

5 жыл бұрын

Best 18 minutes this day

@imoneofthegayestpeopleyoul8866

5 жыл бұрын

Ye, more like 19 lol

@wcsxwcsx

5 жыл бұрын

That's OK, he has a lot to say. He has a lot to work out in his mind.

@konnermonkey7694

5 жыл бұрын

Dan Harvey that’s what I was thinking

@julianangell4535

4 жыл бұрын

18 minutes well used

Me: I’m trans Also me: no I’m not Also me: I’m a demiboy Also me: what if I’m cis Also me: I’m genderfluid Also me: what do I even feel like- Edit: haha I’m a boy(demiboy?) It feels good to finally know :’D

@moonlightautie474

3 жыл бұрын

Me 😖

@IslasYT

3 жыл бұрын

I feel you 😔

@doobsk

3 жыл бұрын

s a m e

@emelylopez3648

3 жыл бұрын

ME

@lemoncookiesryummy

3 жыл бұрын

I literally have been feeling like that all week *cries* (I might be trans-)

i’m scared that i just convinced myself that i’m trans to just be “different” like i want to be called he/him but i don’t want to go though all the surgeries and medication

@uhm9469

3 жыл бұрын

You're really brave to accept thoughts like that and not let ego get in the way of really thinking about yourself and who you are. You've got this 💕

@dumpsterracoon9920

3 жыл бұрын

You can be trans and not want surgery/hormones! That’s totally valid :)

@leaiga-riverhills7674

3 жыл бұрын

Same, I'm scared too

@sp0rkb018

3 жыл бұрын

as a trans boy who wants t and surgery and stuff you are valid my dude :D

@sircommentthecommenter4501

3 жыл бұрын

i only want top surgery and a bit smaller hips because i want an hourglass shape but in the way a boy has it yknow?

Me: Am I lying to myself? Am I really trans? Also me: *gives the biggest smile in the world because an 8 year old said he* edit: damn this comment makes no sense now cause im nonbinary lmao

@idontknowwhyiamherewow7780

4 жыл бұрын

Sameeeeee.

@Stephanie-lk5jf

4 жыл бұрын

literally me when i tried binding my chest the other day and my chest was flat, i was so over joyed

@valeryvalentine2237

4 жыл бұрын

Thats me must be lying to myself, am sure i'm trans idk doesn't matter i'm poor anyways

@call_me_anarkiddie8134

4 жыл бұрын

Dude, same.

@kay-nc9lt

4 жыл бұрын

I feel you

i wish life was like a video game, like you could pick your name and gender.

@lunarsystem

4 жыл бұрын

Y E S

@alexboiarko3543

4 жыл бұрын

Who doesn't

@avapomu

4 жыл бұрын

The white girls will name themselves “xXprincessAngel238” like they on roblox

@Menchii_

4 жыл бұрын

Omg yesss! It would make life easier, me choosing what gender I want to be and name

@alessandrosgueo300

4 жыл бұрын

Not all games are the same.

most people online say they had a moment of "yup thats it thats me" when they found out what transgender is this video is my "yup thats it that's me" moment

@oreopug7986

3 жыл бұрын

I recently have been having trans thoughts,it’s been messing with me.This video is clearing a lot of things up.

@limpbitkiz

3 жыл бұрын

@@oreopug7986 same

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

Why is that? Do you know what actually makes someone have the conditions of true gender dysphoria?

@jamieisnotokay3298

3 жыл бұрын

haha! I had a "oh sh*t" moment- It was so shocking to me.

@user-bs8ee7gs1w

3 жыл бұрын

I come back to this video about every year that passes. I still relate to your comment and feel so much better about things. I'm still trying to figure it out but bit by bit it gets clearer to me. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense 😅 but yeah it takes time

"Have always felt like something was wrong" *Panic*

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

Halo The Weirdest Dolci check out Pique Resilience Project

@beagobuzz

3 жыл бұрын

Bakugo oh no. You poor devil.

@Fluffybunniii

3 жыл бұрын

@@lynnashton1926 tf is that

I am convinced I am trans but I'm scared if it's a "phase" like my mother says it is Edit: To those who need to hear this The moon goes In phases and that's as natural as it gets so dont fear its natural to go in and out of phases

@duckie7767

5 жыл бұрын

Niki Jones me too :(

@nikijones4708

5 жыл бұрын

@@duckie7767 We can survive together 😊

@duckie7767

5 жыл бұрын

Niki Jones 💙💙💙 :)

@nikijones4708

5 жыл бұрын

@@duckie7767 I said to my boyfriend if I came out as trans he said that I'm not and all that so Idk what to do

@duckie7767

5 жыл бұрын

Niki Jones oh :(( i actually havent been in that situation but i think you should properly explain to your boyfriend and if he just doesnt understand at all, then you should break it off , because it will be better for you. but ofc you dont have to take my advice, i hope you can find a way, i believe in u

*18 Minute video and no adds, he's such a good guy*

@32shortcake

4 жыл бұрын

I have no life maybe he doesn't do yt for money

@cia6405

4 жыл бұрын

I got two ads before the video

@lucac4964

4 жыл бұрын

@@cia6405 me2 lol

@zekalm9917

4 жыл бұрын

There’s now 1 ad in the middle

@eiroswrld9825

4 жыл бұрын

1 add

I think I’m trans but the thought of transitioning scares me so much because I don’t want to disappoint my mom or confuse my dad or friends. I don’t wanna lose people. I’d rather die unhappy and loved than live happily and hated... and that’s a sad realization :( ❤️

@tanner3806

3 жыл бұрын

I completely understand and I felt, and still feel the same. By "felt" I mean, I came out to my mom a few days ago, I was terrified that she'd be disgusted, disappointed, angry, etc. But she wasn't, she said she heard of it, and that she'd look into it as well, it made me feel hella validated that she'd even try. Its cheesy as hell but, regret always comes from a missed opportunity, and letting go of happiness would become a regret. Would you rather have a life you can look back with some sense of joy that you tried, or a short lived one full of thoughts of everything ya could've done? I know, that was a bit much but it hit home for me, you're seriously selfless, + I hope it gets better for you, genuinely, you deserve unconditional love and joy just as much as the next person.

@yuulfuji

2 жыл бұрын

Hey how’s it going now?

@Jack-px8lf

Жыл бұрын

yeah but when ur older u realize these ppl die, etc. all you have is urself and need to be able to love urself

@ericab65

10 ай бұрын

life is just too short to wait 😭

@cool_bug_facts

5 ай бұрын

I would rather live as myself and find new people who actually care about me than experience the empty love of people who only know a facade and would hate me over a characteristic that's out of my control

Hi. I’m Sam. When I was young, I was very girly. Disney princesses, all that jazz. I’m still pretty feminine, but I now identify as a slightly feminine trans guy.

@isaak1748

3 жыл бұрын

I feel similar to you, however I still haven't figured out what I am yet.

I really, really want to be a boy, but I don't know if I have dysphoria.

@edenp2465

4 жыл бұрын

It's ok to take some time to figure things out. Dysphoria isn't always obvious either.

@cosmonaut2863

4 жыл бұрын

You often here most trans people having terrible dysphoria, but you don't need to. Even if you just have a tiny bit, you're trans. Never doubt yourself just because your dysphoria isn't as bad as someone else's :)

@cosmicmoon_1

4 жыл бұрын

Same. Like, I really want to be a boy, but at the same time I want to stay as a girl? I’m so confused, and I’m scared. I’m terrified my mum won’t like it. I’m terrified everyone won’t like it, and I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think it’s just a phase like others say, but sometimes I believe there’s more to it than just a ‘phase’. And even if it was a phase, shouldn’t people be respectful anyways? Kids who go through ‘phases’ like this and decide they’re not actually trans, or gay, or anything else should still be given support, because it’s teaching them who they actually do like. In this essay I will-

@kelpman_clark7787

4 жыл бұрын

naruto uzumaki if you don’t feel dysphoria your still valid!!

@kelpman_clark7787

4 жыл бұрын

yes.hi. hello hey! There is a small chance you might be bi gender. You should look it up it could help my friend:)

I feel like I’m selfish for even thinking I’m trans. I get told by all my family “you have such a good feminine body” As I go through female puberty I get told I have a great female body but...I don’t want it. My friend says stuff like “I wish I could have your breasts” and I just feel like saying “I’d swap any day”

@MoMo-qy1vx

4 жыл бұрын

I understand you. There are moments where my parents comment on my breast size and say "Your husband will be pleased in the future" "Oh there is a lucky guy out there" "You have a great size" which frustrates me, since who said that my body is specifically for somebody else's pleasure, and just like you, I would swap them any day but not feel bad about it. This is my body. What I have is mine, and it's up to me how I'll deal with it. You making changes to suit you is not a waste, because the topic is you and not somebody else, and it's about making yourself comfortable and content with who you are, and not someone else. If you believe that changing your gender is what you want, then look into it, try it, do it, because it's a choice you believe will make you happy. You wouldn't change your gender because somebody insists they "feel like you should be a boy/girl" because that shit is none of their business. Love yourself dude and don't let others' opinionated beliefs of what you should do with your body and not because it's what they believe to be "right" navigate you during your path in life. It's not selfish to want to be happy in life and become who you want.

@shaggyrogers0w0hu25

4 жыл бұрын

Same here

@p3gasus-M

4 жыл бұрын

Same.

@nekoperez1859

4 жыл бұрын

I used to get told this all the time and my friends didn’t understand how I would switch with them being a cups, but binding would be so much easier. I didn’t realize for the longest time that that’s really what I was thinking. That it would be so much easier to hide and present if I could just switch with them...

@Mcnoggts

4 жыл бұрын

no, my name is tyler; dude, same. From all the happy cis girls that would love my body, why me?

me thinking im trans: :) my head: what if youre lying to yourself or youre gender fluid? me: *confused gay noises*

@zayraat5375

3 жыл бұрын

Haha same here- :,)

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

I was born with the condition of gender dysphoria, and I know what it's like to be born with these conflicting thoughts. I never really felt like I was missing anything. Just that, I don't know what to do, or who to be, or a lot really, but not really felt lacking, just conflicted, depressed and suicidal for about ever.

@ilikecats7980

3 жыл бұрын

I've been unable to not go with masculine clothing, since I was so young, I never fit in with any girls I never felt comfortable as a girl but I've lived 24 years as a girl and I'm so confused Ive been questioning for literally 10 (longer!) years and I just can't, it's so many thoughts and so many doubts and then so much DOES make sense though as well.. why I never wanted the massive boobs I had when I was younger, when I hit puberty, and why Now I've lost so much weight (Ihave an eating disorder🤦‍♀️) but now my boobs are tiny and it makes me happy?... I want them to be smaller, nonexistent.. it's so CONFUSING Like wtf am I just insane idk LOL I'm seeing a gender therapist tomorrow so.... Idunno. I'm gonna keep being my "guy" self until I figure out more I guess.. I just feel like, I have never seen myself as female... I can't be in feminine dresses/skirts it gives me literal anxiety and like.. I don't mind eyeliner (I've spent most of my life wearing it, since I was 14) but like just because I like a little makeup and nailpolish.. it confuses me as I feel wrong since it's associated with fem stuff but like is that just society's construction of gender roles being enforced in my head from 24 yrs as a girl or????? Omg CONFUSING AF

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

@@ilikecats7980 Are you insecure about other people seeing you?

@abigailfowler6358

3 жыл бұрын

Yeeeess

I’m so terrified. I feel like I’m feminine but I don’t like being... me. I want to be a boy but I want to be feminine too and I don’t know if I’m trans or just confused. Thank you for making this video. It’s helped me a little :’)

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

- VanderSluys check out Pique Resilience Project

@elliottlupin

3 жыл бұрын

I feel that with me as well. But the truth is, some boys are feminine, and that's normal and okay. Also, the fact that I was raised as a girl, I was pushed to gravitate toward more feminine things, like dresses and nail polish. Over time of always dressing and being girly, some aspects of it has stuck.

@kashalakasha2092

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way! I feel like I WANT to be a boy, but when I think about actually being one it terrifies me, because it always comes with the idea that I have to give up the feminine things about me that have been part of me my whole life. It's honestly bullshit. The only person who gets to decide is us! Hope you're doing okay, you got this :)

@won6934

3 жыл бұрын

Same, is like I don't like to be a girl but I don't really feel like a boy :(

@xxserpok_259xx8

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe genderfluid?

I don't understand myself. I absolutely HATE being a girl and want to be know as a guy and look like a guy ect but I don't think I'm trans. Anybody else feel the same way? I question myself so much and don't know what to do.

@SamM-gy9dz

5 жыл бұрын

Kids Account I can't dictate what you are or anything, I just wanted to skip in and try my best at advice. Maybe you're like nonbinary or agender? That would explain why you hate being a girl but don't think you're trans. Or do you really fully wanna be a guy? Because then, I'm sorry but I sadly don't have an answer :/

@shadowmare9620

5 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way. I'm currently dipping my toes into the label non binary but not 100% sure

@lovejumex7689

5 жыл бұрын

Bro, I feel ya

@gypsygal6492

5 жыл бұрын

Kids Account same!!!

@ambivalentambiguity6435

5 жыл бұрын

you could be non binary

For four years I feel like I’m a boy or non-binary, but I worry if I’m just jumping on the bandwagon.

@kullinai

4 жыл бұрын

mood, i've desensitized myself to dysphoria and i kind of numb it away and dress like a girl & it makes me think i'm a trender but now that I watched this I.. I've been explained entirely. these are all of my life experiences

@atlas5191

4 жыл бұрын

@@kullinai same

@mrchunk07

4 жыл бұрын

i feel like im non binary but i dont know if i might be a boy instead im so fricking confused

@PercabethLovernot

4 жыл бұрын

i feel the exact same waY! i’ve been confused for over a year :(

@mrchunk07

4 жыл бұрын

@@PercabethLovernot :( this may sound a bit weird but I'm here for u and will support ur choices

I'm getting really convinced that I'm trans since im going through a "trans phase" for the THIRD TIME but the overthink is really painful. Thank you all for listening to my angst rant.

@user-mg5tm8nu1p

3 жыл бұрын

i’m in the same boat at the moment- it’s so confusing!

@same0533

2 жыл бұрын

It is my second time going through this

@fredhasopinions

2 жыл бұрын

I’m on my fifth or sixth longer phase and it’s getting exhausting. There’s probably something I’ve got to take care of here, but what if that thing isn’t being trans? And even if it is, how could I ever do something about that? Ffs.

@Gaibreel

2 жыл бұрын

This is how I was. When I finally found out what trans was I started but would back away and years later go back to it. Then run away. It wasn't because I wasn't trans. It was because I was so afraid of my family and rejection. I kept coming back because it will always be there. So I decided enough was enough amd got on hormones. What really kicked it off was the regret i was having. I didn't want to be 30 and transition. I wanted my youth in th4 body I felt I was meant to be. It hurt I wasted so many years in fear. People around me getting married having kids and living life. And I got angry because I was here stuck. And I said no. They can live their lives and so will I. This was when I tried coming out years ago and got rejected hard and told wait until im 40 and have lived life. Ans the anger I feel typing that. Its not fair I have to wait because people don't like the idea of me being trans. To sit around and incomplete

@marley5083

2 жыл бұрын

I feel you!!

I can't express how much I LOVE when people refer to me as he/him. Or even sir. And I desperately want to seem more masculine to everybody else. But its so weird because I'm FINE when the world sees me as a girl. I don't have intense body dysmorphia and I wear feminine clothing every now and then. And when I was younger I never felt anything that other people have said they felt. So its left me very confused. Maybe I just like the excitement of transitioning and want that for myself? Should I try they/them pronouns?

@joemama5471

3 жыл бұрын

I would try He/she or He/they or even she/they!

@Leolourdes167

3 жыл бұрын

That’s word for word exactly what I feel

@emiven9592

3 жыл бұрын

omg djjsjd thats exactly my situation lmao

@sofiemosegaard1652

3 жыл бұрын

i feel that exact thing... But after this video i am stuck on the thought of being a perhaps feminine guy or physically a guy and just dressing however i want? All my life i have seen myself as female and never felt immense dysphoria about it, but i have also felt such satisfaction and more actually euphoria when looking and/or acting as a male. Because i look at e.g. Kurtis Conners photoshoot (google it) and really wish that would be me. Or I look at any male dress in whatever doing whatever and defying gender roles through their behaviour and I feel such envy and wish that is what i looked like. But man am I scared that i will end up being wrong 😬

@cham4159

2 жыл бұрын

that's very close to my situation, although i had some of the experiences in the childhood that were related to me wanting to be a girl and feeling genuinely good when perceived as a girl, not as a boy. i had this moment when i just for some time tried they/them pronouns to figure out, it kinda helped me to get closer to this place where i question myself whether i am in fact a trans girl, even though i don't necessarily feel very dysphoric about my body and stuff like that they tell you need to feel about yourself to be trans. so like...... good luck to us and i'm glad there is a space on the internet where we can be free from transmeds and be more gentle to ourselves, because trying to figure out who you are really is exhausting

I never knew that a person could describe me so well without even knowing it

@lunarsystem

4 жыл бұрын

SAME

@hannahy.3854

4 жыл бұрын

this actually helped me SO much

@tjasaravnikar3625

4 жыл бұрын

Same here

@bluefire6722

4 жыл бұрын

mordekai yeah I know I literally feel the exact way he described

@calilafollette8024

4 жыл бұрын

mordekai same that’s all I was thinking about during this vid

Y'know I kinda relate transitioning to jumping into a pool. I start by dipping my feet in the water, wanting to test it out. My friends tell me to jump in, but I don't know what the water feels like / how to swim so I want to take it slow. I start to go down the steps in the shallow end slowly, the water raising to my ankles, calves and knees. Eventually people start questioning me, saying "Why aren't you swimming? Don't you like water?" My friend attempts to splash me so I take a step back. My mom questions me, saying "Are you sure you want to go swimming?" My friends all urge me to swim and ask questions on why I won't swim. My mom tells me I can't swim without a life jacket and that I should just leave. When I look into the pool I see people swimming easily like they know what they're doing. It's all overwhelming. *_My friends all urge me to transition. My mom tells me that I'm not ready and that I need to wait. When I look on the news all I see are people who have already transitioned, or are sure of their actions._* Does this make sense?

@ritsukaaoyagi8239

5 жыл бұрын

Totally I can relate so much

@sofia-jq3ke

5 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU

@kingferret

5 жыл бұрын

it makes perfect sense, thanks.

@DylanTheDuck18

5 жыл бұрын

Melisa Ransford it makes sense, can relate

@emiliaolsson1759

5 жыл бұрын

Melisa Ransford YEEES

I remember this one thought I had was "I'm a lesbian, but I feel in the sense that I'm a straight guy." and that's when I was luck 'uh fuck what does that mean' and I pushed it down for a few more months... and then the thought kept reoccurring "I know that I'm a lesbian but it feels really straight." and then it was more and more things like "I'm not happy with my chest being visible so let's layer up." and "Oh my god my hair makes me want to kms." and the thoughts kept growing. I was attracted to men too but didn't like the thought of being 'the girl' in the relationship. Those things are what brought me to this conclusion, and I just hated female pronouns and my name and had a continuous identity crisis since the age of 7. I feel much more comfortable with a relationship with a guy because I wouldn't be 'the girl', it would just be two dudes. So yeah, it took a lot to figure out that I was a bi trans guy.

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

What, interesting.

@sam-gf6ub

3 жыл бұрын

i feel the same way as you, im bisexual but i want to love a girl the way a boy loves a girl, and i want to love a boy but in the way boys love other boys. Im 18 and it didn't occur to me until recently that I could be trans and so hearing that most people figure out when theyre young is hard for me because im so confused and have no idea if i want to be a boy or if i just want to be more masculine?

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

@@sam-gf6ub Strap ons. Problem fixed. Masculine female, nothing wrong with that, and yes all Trans people know at an early age, like I did. High chances are, you are not Trans and are just going through a phase.

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

@@sam-gf6ub Also it seems you only want to be a boy for love, do you want to be a boy for all the other parts of life?

@sam-gf6ub

3 жыл бұрын

@@hllyenaylleth9576 I do lol, and please don't tell me if im trans or not all people realize in different ways. I was just relating to the comment I do experience dysphoria

me: uhh i think i might be a trans ftm also me: no you're just a cis girl who's on tiktok too often and you'll get back to being cis after hitting 16 me: but wait no i'm thinking about this for months also me: maybe you're nonbinary?? also me: or maybe you're having a phase???

@LowlyEidolon

2 жыл бұрын

I was thinking abot being trans for almost a decade before I realised there was no other way of life that would lead to long term happiness. Months is a drop in the ocean when you hit 20 or 30 or 40

The word, "overthinking" answered my question, I realized that that's exactly what I was doing, overthinking, thank you!

@liquidduck8052

3 жыл бұрын

666th comment omg omg omg

@sophieprouse867

3 жыл бұрын

i always think “what if i’m not trans and i de transition” and that’s the only thing holding me back

@liquidduck8052

3 жыл бұрын

@@sophieprouse867 Have you tried writing down what you feel?

@darwinwatterson4568

2 жыл бұрын

@@jessiewolf3076 ENFP here, funny how we're very opposite and yet have the same overthinking problem, i solve it by writing my thoughts down : )

@jessiewolf3076

2 жыл бұрын

@@darwinwatterson4568 i was wrong about my type back then im actually ENTP with a bit of anxiety, depression, family issues and gender dysphoria. When i first got in MBTI i thought i was INTJ but that was just a face mask that i used for years. Later i've found out im actually ENTP

As a cis gender heterosexual man let me say that having recently explored and researched gender and identity, yours is best video on this subject I have seen. It amuses and disturbs me in equal parts that there is a myth of what it feels like to be a boy. Male or female, cis, Tran or non-binary no-one really feels like a boy, you feel as you, and perhaps your experience does or does not align with your personal idea of what a boy feels like, but there is no true objective, discernible universal male experience. It’s a great video, and I think it’s important. All the best.

@captainhook4258

5 жыл бұрын

Hi, I just read your comment and I want to say that you are a wonderful person. You seem very accepting, and that is, unfortunately, rare where I am from. But I do thank you very much for what you've said, it gave me confidence.

@cici-tl9kq

5 жыл бұрын

:+) you are a great person.

@theelevatedsheep

4 жыл бұрын

ILoveFlipside I wish my parents were like you and didn’t just laugh or say things

@myfashionpoint

4 жыл бұрын

I stan an ally😌🤚

@Casey_8001

4 жыл бұрын

Is this a supportive straight cis person?? Whaaaaaaat?

I’m confused. What if, i’m not actually a tomboy? I was born as a girl who never really did sports, or any “tomboy” things. I enjoyed makeup, art, and fashion which are “girl” things. But, i’ve always felt like there was something big in my life that was missing. Now I just realized that I may be trans, but i’m not sure.

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

Probably not, I would talk to a therapist. I don't know what you mean by missing, but I was born with the condition of gender dysphoria, and I know what it's like to be born with these conflicting thoughts. I never really felt like I was missing anything. Just that, I don't know what to do, or who to be, or a lot really, but not really felt lacking, just conflicted, depressed and suicidal for about ever.

here’s how my list of identities went: cis genderfluid trans nonbinary trans (current identity)

@kasper2711

3 жыл бұрын

Same but a little different, here’s my list: *cis female* *transmasc* *cis female again* *enby* *and now Enby/Transmasc :)*

@lucyfer_the_bat

3 жыл бұрын

mine cis male (almost 16 years) bigender (about 2 months) trans female (current)

@Life-uu5yo

3 жыл бұрын

Me: Cis - lil transphobic Cis - big transphobic Cis - I dOnT fEeL lIkE a MaN sO i’M nOt TrAnS Cis - non binary is cool nice. Confused void Agender Btw I still feel like a confused void lol.

@roro6.20

2 жыл бұрын

here’s mine- cis girl non binary gender fluid (for a day because i was confused) non binary (still questioning if im actually trans)

@myles6580

2 жыл бұрын

Mine went: Cis She/they Demigirl They/them Non-binary And i think right now i might be a demiboy or genderflux lmaooo

I'm very relieved to hear a story like this from a trans man. I always hear the "I've always felt uncomfortable" and "I've always known" stories and doubt myself. Your experience is much more akin to mine. I've been trying to figure out my identity for a while now and a part of me always chimes in with "you're not really trans, you just enjoy the theatrics of being something you're not" and I don't know if that's my rational side speaking or the self-destructive side. I've always had the misfortune of never being able to tell them apart.. 😕

@Yes-wj9iz

4 жыл бұрын

S. Hawkins Same.

@rainbowsparkles8582

4 жыл бұрын

when a voice is saying something like that to you, you can guarantee thats not rational. Being rational doesnt involve being cruel/judgmental. now if a voice was saying something like "i may be trans, i might not be. it may take me some time to understand how i really feel." then that is a more trustworthy way to speak to yourself, right? hope you are doing okay with yourself these days. This goes for anyone who needs to hear it.

@sick_icarus

4 жыл бұрын

rainbowsparkles I really appreciated this reply. I’ve always been rather cruel to myself, and while I’m actively trying not to be now that I’m older, that cruelty is deep seeded enough that I still have a hard time recognizing its more subtle forms. It’s been about a year since I first started questioning my identity, and while I still doubt myself- I think the simple fact that the idea of not being trans/ never being able to be a man still makes me feel what I can only describe as grief says that whatever it is making me feel this way goes a lot deeper than theatrics. Thank you very much for your message to me and if you, too, are on a journey, I wish you all the best throughout it.

@cricketuhm

4 жыл бұрын

me me me

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

Give yourself time. It's a great feeling being whole. You may think such due to what is going on in society. If you really think you where born in such a way, seek help. I am born such a way, with mental defect a part of this brain is the other sex, and it sucks a lot. But with therapy and my own confidence, I am able to get over it and be happy in my own body. There are many fortunate people who are not born such a way, and you are probably one of them. Many people who transitions and where not born with a mental defect regret it later on and detransition.

“Eat drink and don’t hurt yourselves” Me: you can’t tell me what to do! I’m 13, I’m practically an adult

@31vinaa70

5 жыл бұрын

samesamesamesame omg

@victoriakaercher2755

5 жыл бұрын

ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEE

@assassinscreedreallifepran1080

5 жыл бұрын

I'm 12...

@eliomarechal405

5 жыл бұрын

@@31vinaa70 the same too

@abclangford

5 жыл бұрын

😂 meeeee

I don’t know if i’m transgender or not. I was born female, and now i’m starting to feel the like opposite gender. Something just started to feel wrong around the time I hit puberty and then learning about what being transgender is.

I always felt something was off or different when I was younger, but then I got diagnosed with autism and kinda just blamed all my feelings on that. Then around the beginning of puberty I disliked my breasts and period and hips and every other feminine body part. I always came up with excuses for it, such as hormones or 'I want to be skinny' or 'I want to fit the beauty standard' but as I started to grow older and (only slightly) more emotionally intelligent, I realised that none of that would make me happier. Then a friend came out as trans, so I started to question my gender and found out I wasn't cis.

@sadina1348

Жыл бұрын

yes I also blame my autism for not fitting in and feeling off, then I blame my asexuality for disliking my girlyparts. I also really cringe at my voice being high but I also just blamed it on people calling it loli like. when I started puberty I had really big problems so I was kinda busy and didin't bother to even think about looks or who I am or what feels right, only now that I got better I start to question myself and think what I want from life so its hard to identify any signs from my past.

@SunIsLost

Жыл бұрын

I'm different, but mum put all of that to my Autism

I’ve come out to my parents before and they said “its just a phase” and “but you like girly things!” And Ive come to realize yes, I like some more feminine things like makeup (I cosplay) and I like shoes and going shopping with my girl friends, but I can still be a man! And my mother says “you like dresses and nail polish, and you like long hair!” No mom. You like that. And you force it on me.

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

Deadbeat_ Coffee check out Pique Resilience Project

@MelanieMendoz

3 жыл бұрын

I like make up and my hair.. cause I can dye it however I want it- but I hate my body.. I would rather have a boy body then my own body- but my own parents would not want me to be trans so haha the fact that I found your comments just made my day cause honestly it’s all true

@meloncat4882

3 жыл бұрын

Just be you it's ok

@majaolsson5067

3 жыл бұрын

OMG right? I think i might be trans however I have these thoughts in my head that are like "oh but ive always liked girly things and i love the colour pink. I cannot be a guy" but then i remember that some gay guys also loved pink stuff and playing with barbies when they were young, but they are still considered men. So why can't I?

@hllyenaylleth9576

3 жыл бұрын

That's not really a man, is it?

I feel comfortable as a female but the thought of being a guy makes me so happy and i don’t know if that means anything

@deer8teeth30

5 жыл бұрын

Twitch Me too

@kelpman_clark7787

4 жыл бұрын

Twitch Heyo my friend- there is a chance you could be bigende

@pencilCasey000

4 жыл бұрын

if ur fine as a girl then No ur not trans. sorry. it’s not a cute game it’s serious.

@taranhartell2459

4 жыл бұрын

@@pencilCasey000 it depends tho. I'm non binary but trying to be very masculine and before i started presenting as such i was "fine" as a girl. Simply cause i didn't know better. Then when i did do that i suddenly felt really dysphoric when presenting as very feminine because now i realized that was wrong. So it depends seeing i was fine at first too

@angelapantano4972

4 жыл бұрын

@@pencilCasey000 no need to be hostile, we're all here to learn

when I was 4 I used to run around my school telling everyone I was a boy and would cry if they said I wasn't and I'm still not sure if I'm actually trans. it's such a hard thing to figure out.

Me: I think I'm trans I like being called a he My brother:"give it time" "wait until your older your probably just confused" "you don't know anything about binding or taking testosterone" Me: what if Im not trans? What if it's a phase? What if I'll regret this later?

@isaak1748

3 жыл бұрын

Same :( I'm scared that if I start transitioning and later regret it people will think poorly of me

This helped me so so so much and I am pretty sure that I am transgender and when ever I say „I’m a boy“ It feels really right

@aandjae

4 жыл бұрын

C r a y o n. Fuck dude This hits hard

@SpicyCoffee

4 жыл бұрын

@DeerieCake you can speak to if you want. I'm going through the same thing and I think I may be able to help you

@Dannysaurus606

4 жыл бұрын

x2

@C41C1UM

4 жыл бұрын

Same I don’t feel like I’m meant to be a girl

@AshieASMR

4 жыл бұрын

I’m having a mental crisis every fucking night and I don’t know what I am anymore I am feminine but i much prefer to be a petite boy Plus im bi and i feel like live as a male would be so much better. I dont know what to do cus im scared that its gonna be just a phase

Let me just say, *What a beautiful Fall Out Boy poster.* Edit: so I watched this video again a year later and I didn’t know that I already seen this-

@lexiisdrowning4566

4 жыл бұрын

Ugghhh finally someone noticed it

Your story is just so similar to mine that I started crying and felt so relieved that I'm not alone. Thank you so much

I’m 11 and I just don’t feel comfortable every time somone says: “there SHE is” and “oh HER hair is pretty”. and every time somone says my name like: “ hey Elizabeth!” It just doesn’t sound right..

@Scottie_shea

3 жыл бұрын

yea

@skybitz3746

3 жыл бұрын

Hi. I'm thirteen. I'm the same way.

@Haerinmato

3 жыл бұрын

Same

Your voice has changed so much :D

@eevialina2067

5 жыл бұрын

Gay sheep yea he sounds so different!

@caitlintheunicorn8439

5 жыл бұрын

Gay sheep ye I was watching one of his earlier vid then came on to this like wow ...😂

Why. Do. We. Have. The. Almost. Exact. Same. Experience. Wth. Edit: why did the volume just change randomly aaeeeh

@rafaelcarpes6344

5 жыл бұрын

Why tho lol

@olavivans.3573

5 жыл бұрын

Same here mate I was so shook lol

@andrewhaley4240

5 жыл бұрын

Me too

@ghostly8933

5 жыл бұрын

Same here~

@moz3yy

5 жыл бұрын

Me too. It was exactly the same and it was wierd

This is explaining how I feel exactly. This video clears everything up so much and now I completely know my gender identity. I know now that I’m trans. Thank you so much!

"I wanted to know so desperately and I wanted to know now. My brain hurt" yeah, I'm there. Tension, even crying it's so hard as I desperately want to know so I can get on with it. Thank you for making me feel that this level of questioning is normal and ok!

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

Maz Skinner check out Pique Resilience Project

@mazskinner2166

3 жыл бұрын

@@lynnashton1926 why are you pointing me to a bunch of people who made a mistake, where they are not trans and have detransitioned? The small amount of people who regret transitioning amounts to 5% at most of people that transition (I think it is a lot lower than that) compared to 95% or more who live better, more authentic lives because they transitioned. I am questioning which means I am not clear enough to medically transition. It doesn't mean that I should never transition because I might regret it. I will know if it is right for me or not and until I am clear I won't take those big steps. Are you saying that everyone who calls themselves trans are not really trans and that everyone who transitions is making a mistake and will regret it? You are denying the existence of real trans people who's lives improved when they became themselves.

@user-jz7vp7kg1u

Жыл бұрын

that was me last year, but it's slowly getting better

Me a few years ago: I know I’m a tad boyish but I would never change my gender. Also me a few years back: damn it! I wish a was a booooy! *here I am now and I’m stealing my dad’s clothes that don’t fit him anymore*

@felixmckinney9203

4 жыл бұрын

Lol I'm at that stage you were a few years ago but I'm still researching if I'm ftm or not

@theelevatedsheep

4 жыл бұрын

@Ella McKinney aha yea that stage is a little stressful I think the best way to find out is to try it out ask close friends to use he/him pronouns and your chosen name and if you don’t like that’s ok and if you do like it but later on you don’t that’s ok too good luck - w -

@cherryfizzer4076

3 жыл бұрын

Same, Most of my friends are boys and i fit in with them more, im very tomboyish and since i was small i always wished i was born a boy

@cyril691

3 жыл бұрын

You can feel like a boy and still be a woman. "Looking like a man....Feeling like a woman." Grace Jones Androgyny is nothing new. It's been going on since we've had societies.

@Lukas-bq7wn

3 жыл бұрын

I steal my brothers clothes hehe

KZread is high again. 50 views and 66 likes.

@baconcat2458

5 жыл бұрын

Aww Kovu! ^-^ thanks for the heart on this practically pointless comment 😂 I love you! Been watching your channel for years!

@gmurphy1028

5 жыл бұрын

What can you do, KZread just likes sweet sweet drugs

@chandlervvn2435

5 жыл бұрын

I feel like no one understands this. You have to watch for a certain amount of time for it to count as a view, but a lot of people like the video before getting to that time, hence the likes being higher than the views

@assassinscreedreallifepran1080

5 жыл бұрын

KZread is drunk again

@allisonleakypipe6590

5 жыл бұрын

@@chandlervvn2435 Woooosh

Man I’m gunna cry watching this video. I’ve been questioning myself for months and I’ve related to every bit of it, I know dysphoria is different for everyone but oh my god this is me. I’m a boy and I’m finally happy to say that, I can’t stop smiling now that I’m saying that. I’m a boy :)

I made the mistake of telling my parents when I was trying to decide. And I think because of their reactions it has affected how I think when I ask myself Am I trans? Because it will always be in the back of my mind what they said. Like, "You're just being influenced." "You don't like doing masculine stuff." "It's a mental illness." "I can't call you a boy you're a girl. You're just trying to hide from being yourself." "You only want to be trans because you don't feel strong." And I just am so confused.

Christ I feel like you just took my brain and ripped it open. There are so many things in this video that made me feel better. Thank you. You just changed my life man.

Kovu i’ve honestly watched 1 million videos about how to know if ur trans, but this is by far the best one. I could relate to ur experiences 100% and I‘m glad I‘m not the only one who feels like that! Thank u a lot for this Video!!

@Kovukingsrod

5 жыл бұрын

LazyFace that feedback means so much to me, I’m so happy to hear you found it relatable and perhaps even helpful, possibly. Thank you!😁

@Sam-be8st

5 жыл бұрын

same man C:

@Libbychicken

5 жыл бұрын

Agreed!!

@sigg8614

5 жыл бұрын

I related as well. I'm masculine but feminine at times and would try to force myself thinking, "I'm just a tomboy." I came across the word transgender and felt kind of relatable. I feel more comfortable dating girls, but still am a girl and can't find myself, etc, but this vid helped.

@kareemxo3

5 жыл бұрын

❤️❤️

This video perfectly describes how I've felt growing up and now, not knowing or saying stuff like "I was supposed to be born a boy" From a young age like I hear about makes me question if I'm actually trans a lot, but hearing other stories helps a lot :)

as a t guy with ocd, it makes overthinking being trans so terrible because your brain just simply cannot leave you alone with it and it causes me actual panic attacks 😭 but then there are moments of clarity where i feel completely confident with my identity and i just have to remind myself that its my brain trying to sabotage me

I'm a transwoman and I wish I could transition :( It's much better to watch a transguy compare to a transwoman because I wouldn't envy a transguy as much as I would with a transwoman who has transitioned.

@mooncrumble9036

4 жыл бұрын

I used to be really confused by transwomen before I was educated because I remember thinking "who TF would choose to be a girl" I later found out it was internalized transphobia and now.... *To the theme of Final Countdown * iT's a mEtAl bReAkDoWn

@pyrokinetic8995

4 жыл бұрын

@@mooncrumble9036 transwomen provably think the same about transmen

I am ftm trans and almost all my family say "you cant decide what you are until you're older.' I've gone through very similar things as you.

@ninxskii

5 жыл бұрын

I'm gonna tell you what my uncle told me. "Yes, you are still really young, but I don't think you are too young to know who you are and who you wanna be."

@livewithme1109

5 жыл бұрын

My parents tell me this so much, I know where you’re comin’ from

I want to transition medically so badly, I can't watch pre/post transition videos because it gives me so much dysphoria that I will never look like that but I'm scared of hating the way I'd pass or look once I get older. I've been out as ftm for almost a year and I'm so worried that if I transition, I might end up detransitioning later. To everyone else in similar positions or watching this video to get a better idea - we can do this. We'll get there one day❤️

I’ve realized a few key things that have helped me figure out that I am trans, and your video really helped solidify this. 1) most of my anxiety and fear stems from worrying about what other people will think about me if I come out or transition. 2) sometimes I don’t feel like a guy bc even when I make a big effort to look more masculine I still look like a girl/easing one type of dysphoria sometimes increases another. 3) I dislike the stereotypical Straight White Male™️ and don’t want to be associated with it

as a fellow trans man who went from stargender to demigirl to genderfluid to agender to bigender and finally trans, bless you for this video its wonderful to hear i'm not alone

@sofiaandersson1628

5 жыл бұрын

Can you explain what the hell "star gender" is please I'm so confused I've been seeing it every where and have no clue what they're talking about

@meowmeow6676

5 жыл бұрын

@@sofiaandersson1628 that's one of MOGAI genders. They use strange pronouns and/or saying that "u dont need dysphoria to be trans"

@blankspace8707

5 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately sAme

I thought I would miss the high pitch voice and I do but that voice is so amazing and I love you and the voice is like a sexier Ryan gosling

@Kovukingsrod

5 жыл бұрын

Viper 73164 thank you so much! That makes me happy, actually 😊

@adaraparry193

5 жыл бұрын

Trueeee

One of my friends came out as trans about a year and a half back, and another came out as gender fluid about 4 or 5 months ago. These are the first people who aren't cis that I know, so whilst I was exposed to the trans community online, I didn't really get a full sense of it. For the past couple of years I've been spending tons of my time questioning my sexuality, and about a month ago, I just told myself I was gonna put whatever I was on hold. During the time previous, I havent even thought about my gender identity, and assumed I was cis, just because I was so messed up in the idea of sexuality. Now I think I might be trans, but I'm really not sure how I feel about the idea of identifying as male, or another gender besides female really, but I spend so much time looking down at myself wishing my chest was flat, and wanting to experiment with pronouns but being too scared to. Part of me also wonders if I just want to fit in with my ftm and gender fluid friend respectively, as they are both really close. Am I just telling myself I'm trans, or do you think there is genuinely a chance I'm not cis? Edit: When I was younger, I used to play with only boys, and I distinctly remember telling my ftm friend when I was eight ish that I wanted to be a boy. Kinda ironic that he was confused as to why

Okay so I've come back to this video after about 5 months because it popped up on my recommended again. I just wanted to say a huge thank you because this was the one video that took away a lot of uncertainty about my gender, got me out of the loop of 'I feel like a boy but I'm probably just faking it' and helped me realise my true self. When I watched it the first time, something just clicked, and I can now confidently say that I'm trans (ftm). I've since come out to most people I know, aside from some classmates and relatives that I suspect would be very unsupportive, but I'd never be where I am now without this video. Thank you so much for making this!

I’m 13 and I want to cut my hair short like a boy (it’s really long right now, about a foot) but my mom would be like, “nAH yOU’d loOK liKe a BOy..!!” and I would say, “k fine.” But in my head I would say THATS THE POINT MOTHER

@camelliaxx_698

4 жыл бұрын

just cut it short yourself but make sure it’s really messy and then she’ll have to take you to get it cut better ;)

@humandefinitely

4 жыл бұрын

@@camelliaxx_698 how do you have this good of an idea

@camelliaxx_698

4 жыл бұрын

human my mom’s a hairdresser but refuses to cut my hair short so i have to go to great lengths to get it short :,)

@humandefinitely

4 жыл бұрын

@@camelliaxx_698 oh-

@motherfrickncactus9331

3 жыл бұрын

Same. But I said it in my head...

That's exactly how I feel I'm a 12 year old girl but I'm scared that once I do change into a male I'm going to regret it.

@felixmckinney9203

4 жыл бұрын

Yes I'm 12 too. I have always been a "Tomboy" but something hasn't felt right ever since February. I'm still figuring it out but being called male sometimes makes me feel good, but I am worried I will regret it which makes think I'm gender fluid.

@theyadore_kaior7531

4 жыл бұрын

@@felixmckinney9203 i relized that i am transgender I've recently came out to my friends,my,parents,siblings,auntie,uncle and grand parents and they all accept me,my mother said that once im 18 she will help me with costs,she said i have to be 18 because i might be confused due to having friend that are pansexual/non-binary and bisexual they even started buying me mens clothes i hope u can discover what you are soon ~Anthony (my boy name)

@mep8417

4 жыл бұрын

same 😭😭😭😭😭 idk if i’m a demiboy or just a transboy

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

LilBaby Coco check out Pique Resilience Project

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

Ella McKinney check out Pique Resilience Projest

WOOOW! With this video you actually described my "story" and you made it clear to me who I am. I'm really grateful to you.

Honestly I’ve been struggling so much with everything and I clicked on this video not expecting to relate as much as I did. Literally everything you said described me perfectly. Thank you so so so much for posting this. I’m sending it to my mom so maybe she will understand better.

I don’t know what this is going to sound like, but here we go. Get ready, cause this is going to be long. I’m Jamie, and I’m just shy of 14 years old. As a child, I was very feminine - I liked disney princesses, and faeries, and putting on sparkly dresses, and wearing skirts, but, according to several of my diaries, I always felt...more boyish? I don’t quite know how to explain it, but even as I wore pink tutus I wrote in my diaries that I felt like I was a more masculine person as a whole. When I was about eleven years old, I started to be exposed more to what girls did, or do, once they get older - makeup, bras, fashion, children, the whole nine yards. It all just felt odd and out of place on me. I began to resent these things. I didn’t want to do anything that was, according to my parents and those around me, a part of being a woman. I didn’t want to be a mother, or wear a pretty lacy bra, or put a bunch of colored powders on my face, but as an 11 year old, what I did want was to fit in. The most my little heart ever wanted was to be liked by other people, and for that matter, *well* liked. So, I tried doing makeup. I did my hair, and I even wore a dress to the big spring dance with my girlfriend at the time, when I was twelve (my mom’s doing actually, I desperately wanted to wear a tux). Anyways, I continued feeling like I wasn’t feminine enough, that I needed to be girlier or sexier if I wanted to feel good about myself, yet, at the same time, I had an undeniable urge to cut all my hair off. I didn’t understand that feeling, but I would constantly push my hair back after a shower and smile at how cool I looked. So, right before 7th grade, I got it all chopped off into a pixie. For the first few nights, I felt angry about it. I missed my long hair - I’d had hair beyond my shoulders for about 7 years before that - and I regretted getting it off. I didn’t feel as feminine, and I thought people would think I was a dumb-looking lesbian (I was not, in fact, a lesbian). I wore revealing tank tops and chokers, and wore makeup and curled my hair. But, no matter how hard I tried, it always felt...wrong, and the crushing reality of womanhood bore into me like a nail driven into a board by a hammer. I started dressing slightly more masculinely, without binding, and when people called me “sir” or “gentleman”, I felt incredibly happy. I wanted people to think I was a boy, and actively tried to make people think I was. This...more than tipped me off that something wasn’t right here. So, I told my best friend who had also recently come out as trans, that I had feelings that maybe I wasn’t actually the gender I was born as. So, we hatched a plan together to get our friends to call me by they/them pronouns. And, it worked! I started wearing this sports bra that flattened my chest, that I had gotten several months prior, and wore more neutral clothes, and my confidence got far higher! I wasn’t insecure, I wasn’t pulling up my shirt, I wasn’t fearing people would stare at my chest, or worse, my butt. I felt...a whole lot better. However, I still felt like something was missing. I had started to absolutely despise my body. By now, I was fantasizing constantly about being a cisgender boy (not like I hadn’t been doing that since I started questioning, but it increased in frequency). I wished for masculine genitals, and truly hated both my primary and secondary sex characteristics. So, yet again, I consulted with my best friend, and he began to call me more masculine pronouns along with they/them. Later, I even picked a name, and they began calling me by that, too. Now, I felt a bit more fulfilled, and I felt at peace that maybe I could be seen and accepted as one of the boys. However, I still constantly questioned myself, and felt uncomfortable when people would call me my preferred masculine pronouns in public. What was odd was, she/her was unacceptable, They/them was still a bit too feminine, but he/him just made me uncomfortable. I started thinking, *what even am i?* I still think that today, honestly, though it’s only been about 6 months since then. Now, I go by a mixture. I’ve come out to most people, I use the men’s restroom on occasion (though i usually either use the teachers’ ungendered single-person restrooms, the cafeteria’s ungendered single-person restrooms, or the women’s room) and I’ve even come out to my mom, who refers to me as my chosen name and does her best to use neutral pronouns (it was her “compromise” with me when i tried to come out as trans, not once, but three times). My dad knows, and I know he knows as my mother informed him when i tried to come out, yet he still refuses to call me Jamie, even though literally everyone I know does. Anyways, I don’t really even know what I am anymore and I’m trying to take things one step at a time, really figure out who I am as a person, and what I want. All i know is, I am not a girl. I may have been at one point, nobody knows, but what I do know is that I am not a girl now. I hope some of you can relate to this, and if anyone has gone through something even mildly similar to what I’m currently going through, I am in desperate need of advice. I have no clue where I’m going, and the journey has been hard, but I refuse to give up until I can safely say that if I die tomorrow, my gravestone will not read my deadname.

@pillowverhoeve7491

4 жыл бұрын

I have the exact same thing, except that i didnt have diaries, but always wanted to play with my nephews instead of nieces and always have had like fighting. Also i have never worn bras. Since puberty i stopped wearing dresses and stuff. So i have the same thing as you have/had. But then without the extreme girly things in puberty. And the fact that im still at the beginning of my trial. I also tried to kinda come out to my mom, but she sais its just a phase. An I dont know!!! And i dont know how long ago you sent this (and im too lazy too look) so if you have found out who you really are, or if someone else has advice, i would really appreciate that. I just think that everyone has to support and help others, even tho you're not part of the LGBTQ+ community

@pillowverhoeve7491

4 жыл бұрын

@@androidbutterscotchkitty same, like litteraly that

@bubbleboi1895

4 жыл бұрын

I feel kinda the same way as this and the guy in the video- like a mix of all. Anyway yall didnt ask but u can have anyway, my story:::: Alright so im near 14 and ever since puberty started (yr 6?) I have had struggled with e v e r y t h i n g!!! Sexuality and gender are things i cant figure out for my life!! ;-; Anyway so ever since i was 10 ive had long periods of time where id be 100% convinced i was a ftm and id bind and dress accordingly and cut my hair...my family never knew about them they just thought i was a really butch lesbian😂😂 my friends didnt know and sometimes (all the time) if someone would mistake me for a boy id have a little high moment and now that i look like a fully fledged w o m a n i dont get them anymore....i was girly as a kid but i was always one of the boys until the boys realised it was kinda weird to be hanging and playing zombies or spies with a girl and so as a little lonely 8 yr old me- i decided i wanted to wear trousers to school and have a pixie cut. I wasnt allowed the pixie cut on account of me being a being with a vagg and my dad couldnt comprehend that little girls could have short hair. So my plan of getting my friends back didnt work and i was taken in by the girls and so such thoughts of being onee of the boys left my bigol brain for a few years and now here i am doing a rant because im a nervous reck in yr 9 whos scared shitless of all of this stuff- i didnt turn out very well in child standards from grade 3 as in i was a selected mute who refused everything including food cuz i was self consious of my weight being different and im now a smoker, someone who eggs houses, starts reckless fights, drinks and so on....i have no one who i can talk to anymore cuz my therapy was kinda cut off and i have no where to vent so idk i think ive outdone my welcome- cya hoes

@jp-si4hz

4 жыл бұрын

I felt the same way about people using male pronouns at first. People had called me she and by my birth name for 14 years. So when people starting referring to me as he and my guy name, it felt uncomfortable. I've known I wanted to be a boy since kindergarten, so I was confused when I felt so uncomfortable about people calling me male pronouns and a male name. I realized that it just takes some time to get used to it. It now feels really natural for people to refer to me as male. So basically what I'm saying is that just because it is uncomfortable to change at first, doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't trans.

@apparent_

4 жыл бұрын

hi there! i grew up with the idea that girls are feminine & boys are masculine so you’re not alone. for me, i never really questioned my gender identity until two years ago but always felt like something wasn’t right with who i was. i came out as gay in 7th grade, but still felt like i’d rather be a boy than accept my sexuality so i started dressing more masculine. when i went through puberty, i never really liked my body/chest (even if its small). recently, i’ve noticed how she/her pronouns make me feel & have come out as trans to my mom. there was a certain point, in my life, where i was extremely feminine & actually enjoyed being a girl.. but now its definitely changed/or i’ve come to realize i’ve never felt cis or trans. sometimes, i don’t want to be anything & remove all types of labels because i know it doesn’t define me.

Most people when they find out what transgender means: oh... ok... Me when I found out what it was: *scrolling through wattpad and finds my favourite artists coming out letter* Also me: *has an existential crisis at 10 years old*

@Valentinesauce

5 жыл бұрын

I NEED MOUNTAIN DEW RED biggest mood ever tbh-

@lexiisdrowning4566

4 жыл бұрын

Oh hey Clikkie

@janicec7518

4 жыл бұрын

nice pfp

@myfashionpoint

4 жыл бұрын

I FOUND A CLIKKIE

@Charles-qx6yz

4 жыл бұрын

Lol me

This video is so comforting to me. I'm currently in my second spell of questioning my gender. I aborted the first time because I took things too fast and got overwhelmed and tried to be what I thought I needed to be to be trans. I'm being a lot more careful this time, and I feel a lot more comfortable now. What you said about not being comfortable with he/him pronouns at first really set my mind at ease, I haven't seen any other transmasc people talk about that and it was giving me a lot of anxiety. Thanks so much for this

This is exactly what I needed to hear, I cannot thank you enough for this!

I can’t help but notice the save rock and roll poster in the background... That’s my fave Fall Out Boy album lmao

@lexiisdrowning4566

4 жыл бұрын

Omg hello yeemo

@janicec7518

4 жыл бұрын

i like ur pfp

Recently, my friend Jenna has been quite rude and has been saying I'm not transgender. She's stopped referring to me by my trans name, and she calls me by my old name. She's making me doubt myself and I'm feeling nowadays that I'm just lying to myself and to the world, like I'm being a "trans-trender". I don't want to think like this, but my parents don't believe me either. I can't cut my hair, I can't do anything. I'm trying to get better, but it's so hard. This video helps.

@ev3613

4 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. Your friend is not a friend if they do that.

@CathyNguyen-nw7zm

4 жыл бұрын

Leave Jenna. Stop being her friend. Avoid her. If she doesn’t support you, then let it be. YOU are the only person who knows truly. And if it makes you happy to be trans, go for it. You be who you want to be.

@digital_ferret6866

4 жыл бұрын

Idk if this helps, but if you have long hair you can put it in a high ponytail, bobbypin or headband to keep it down, put on a hat and boom, guy hairstyle. I really hope that no matter what, you can work through your feelings

@Lemonboy_32

4 жыл бұрын

Im so sorry to hear that

@juicecarton5076

4 жыл бұрын

Jenna sounds awful and she’s not a true friend if she treats you like that. Remember YOU are the only one who knows what you are and Jenna has no right to tell you if you’re trans or if you aren’t. It’s your body not here’s and it’s unfair she’s making you feel that way. I know it’s hard but you can get through this and one day you’ll have yourself figured out :)

I relate so damn much to your overthinking/doubts/anxieties you describe.... it's SO nice to finally see that someone else has so many similar thoughts.

we seem similar. not too long ago, I thought I was genderfluid. now I think I’m non-binary, but I’m not 100% positive. I’ve never pictured myself as a guy, and all the guys at my school are very rude, annoying and homophobic. I know a lot of guys aren’t like that but I still don’t feel like I’m a dude. I’m still confused

I relate a lot I questioned a ton of things! I was unsure a LOT, but eventually ended up in a place where Im super happy and content. :)

@willbyers_clizzy

5 жыл бұрын

Ash Hardell is that really you ash? love you you're so fun to watch and you taught me a lot

@gae6495

5 жыл бұрын

ASH!

@kalynnstephens1957

5 жыл бұрын

MY FAVORITE KZreadRS KNOW WHO EACH OTHER ARE!!! Dis made my day!!

@user-pe8uk4mi8y

5 жыл бұрын

Omg hi ash!!!

@evelynn4290

5 жыл бұрын

Ash Hardell omg it’s ashhhh

oh shoot i used to do that too... the “i would wake up, eyes still close, and the first thought that comes into my mind is: do i feel like a boy today? and the answer was: i feel like ‘me’”. shit i can relate so much throughout the video... but, unlike you, i still haven’t figured out what i feel comfortable and confident with... i hope one day i can live comfortably without overthinking gender. thank you for always making really helpful videos, kovu❤️

@theapostleofpeace

5 жыл бұрын

I would have days where I'd look in the mirror and see a female, and days where I'd see a male. I still get them and on the 'female' days I have the worse dysphoria. I don't really think much about how male I feel. It's more in the looks. My first thought when I wake up is 'I don't want to get up' followed by 'shit, I better feed the cat.'

@tyson5222

5 жыл бұрын

same :((

@lostinspace4008

5 жыл бұрын

I have the same Problems. But i am Not sure, if i am transgender or nonbinary. I am so confused. I would like to Talk to a nonbinary Person to exchange thougts. So if somebody is nonbinary and want to Talk with me, i would be very thankfull.

@jananobanano9377

5 жыл бұрын

Oh me too I'm eve still doing it sometimes. But nonetheless I have no fricking idea where I might stand in the genderspecrum. The worst part is that I naturally ignore the topic and every time I see a related video( I subscribed to many trans and nobinary people when I started questioning this part of my identity) I just get reminded of the mess my head is in right know because of this and I'm just so confused and hopefully someday I might feel like I found something im comfy with😓🤧

This is the most validating trans video I’ve seen!! Thank you for making this

I've watching your videos for years... I remember seeing this when it was first posted and I was so grateful. and I still am!

My gender has me stressing 😂

@oliviacarroll5231

5 жыл бұрын

Uh Oh same though

@mackanimations4945

5 жыл бұрын

Same here, I need help 😂

@orionzea6146

5 жыл бұрын

SAAAMMMEEE I AM CONFUSION

@radiosilence289

5 жыл бұрын

same..😅

@jonesjones6941

5 жыл бұрын

Honestly a fat mood

I'm at puberty and I've only just started questioning. I've seen so many videos of people saying that they knew they were trans all their life and that confused me more. Im starting to think that I might not really be trans because I think I'm really "late". Seeing this helps because you've told me that people realise more at puberty. Thank you for this video!

@knaloxone4986

5 жыл бұрын

idk same here, I’ve been questioning for about a year but I always thought I was just being influenced by media and wasn’t rly trans because I was girly growing up

@atlas5191

4 жыл бұрын

@@knaloxone4986 me too :/

@idiomatic444

4 жыл бұрын

Mate same, I was pretty girly as a young kid (still the most masculine out of my friend group) and when puberty hit I've never felt so out of place and confused.

@cricketuhm

4 жыл бұрын

i questioned abt a year ago, decided i was lesbian, was happy. NOW IM QUESTIONING MY GENDER 😻😻😻😻

@blue_1080

4 жыл бұрын

Same

Oh my god man, i hard to stop the video because i stared crying happy tears. Everything you said, i could relate too. Since i’m coming out in 5 days, being insecure and unsure about regretting the next few decisions has been a big thing for me. Thank you so much for this, it’s helping me!!

your experience literally feels exactly the same as mine and it’s making feel so much better... even the EDs and the “bad thoughts”

Here’s what makes me half think I’m trans - I hate my chest - I don’t feel comfortable in girl clothes - low-key wish I was born as a boy - I don’t like she/her pronouns - I absolutely HATE the stupid feminin nicknames my dad uses - I HATE dresses - kinda wanna try T - hate and cringe when somebody says boobs/breasts (God even hate typing it) - I like when people accidentally use he-him pronouns or genuinely thinks I’m a boy - HATE my real name Reasons why I think I’m NOT trans - it feels kinda weird when somebody uses Riley (my name that I kinda want) - I feel like I’m going to do something that I can’t undo and then I’m going to hate myself even more - I don’t remember what I was like when I was younger so I don’t know if I was a girly girl - I just feel like it’s going to be a mistake - I’ve never tried using a packer - idk if I want a male body (mainly the private parts) So idk if I’m trans, need help, sorry :/

@pinupop1234567

4 жыл бұрын

Echobox Gacha you don’t need to get surgery to be trans!

@echoboxgacha5127

4 жыл бұрын

pinku, I know, but idk if I am actually Trans

@pinupop1234567

4 жыл бұрын

Echobox Gacha ahhh i see i’m kinda in the same boat. :/ we can get through this !

@echoboxgacha5127

4 жыл бұрын

pinku Yay! confused buddies!! Tho if one of us finds out what we r, can we tell the other one how we figured out plz?

@lynnashton1926

3 жыл бұрын

Echobox Gacha check out Pique Resilience Project

OH MY GOD I HAVENT VISITED YOUR CHANNEL IN ALMOST 4 MONTHS NOW OMFG MY BABY STARTED T IM SO PROUD AOSHSJSUSVSJS

@trevorransford

5 жыл бұрын

aSJFIFNDJF I'M THE EXACT SAME LIKE I'M RLLY PROUD??? HE LOOKS SO GOOD

damn this is the most relatable video ive ever watched im so happy to finally see a video where someone talks about doubt, this really helped me a lot!

god I love this video it manages to calm me every time I have a hard time and I’m doubting my identity. Thank you so much

This video explains my thoughts almost perfectly. It's crazy how somebody from the opposite side of the world can have the same experiences of you.

You are amazing :-) and a gorgeous guy. I'm not trans but I know this info is important. Stay awesome Mate

@Kovukingsrod

5 жыл бұрын

Red Hood thank you so much!! :)

@redhood8141

5 жыл бұрын

Anytime :-) I get excited Everytime I see a new video of yours get posted. Can I ask you a question?

@BauhausBarbie

5 жыл бұрын

Red Hood true

@redhood8141

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks Arty :-)

@gayeden7160

5 жыл бұрын

I see you everywhere like how Morgan lemons is everywhere lol

Holy crap dude. Your the most amazing and honest youtuber iv’e met. Thank you so much and keep doing what your doing. Your helping so many people.

you have no idea how much this video helped me. i’ve been wracking my brain for so long every. single. day. and your honesty and transparency has lifted the biggest weight off of my chest. thank you thank you thank you a million times over

ur voice is super deep! damn

my mum seems to think im not bc ive never shown signs and shes made me doubt myself so much

@Kovukingsrod

5 жыл бұрын

Phan is life as I wrote in the video, sometimes it takes time for you to “evolve” a bit!

@geekyauartist322

5 жыл бұрын

Well push on and try talking about how you feel. But make sure you can give them some space to think about the subject! Continue forward!

Everything I have been feeling and going through has been weighing on me terribly. This has helped me immensely with realizing things and that my doubts and worries are normal. Thank you so much!! ^^

I was actually speechless. jaw to the floor when I first watched this. I've literally NEVER related to anything more than this video. Thank you so so so much Kovu for making this, and helping me finally understand where I fall and how to understand myself❤

"Hi I like riding horses 😏😏" you dirty-minded 😂

@Kovukingsrod

5 жыл бұрын

Julia Bo ;))

I needed this so so bad. I recently came out to my mum (it was an accident) and she has ignored it since so i honestly dont even know anymore. It was so so so helpful

@Ardo2327

5 жыл бұрын

Ash Pickett I need to come out this year but I don't want to 😩 I just want people to let me be who I am

@Kovukingsrod

5 жыл бұрын

Ash Pickett I really hope things get better. Sending love your way!

@ohhi5325

5 жыл бұрын

@@Kovukingsrod sending love to you too kovu!!! 💙

@Anonymous-uw4sr

5 жыл бұрын

I can kinda relate.. I didn't really know what I was doing... I tried to tell her that I'm questioning my gender identity.. but idk After that my mom just ignored it... or we just didn't talk about it again

@alicjadamiecka7272

5 жыл бұрын

Samee my parents also ignore that. Such a pity they don't accept me. Hope it gets better for you.

thank you so much. a lot of these videos are always either "you're valid no matter what transition if you want to" or "you should know."

this video hits so close to home. i can’t thank you enough for making this. my younger self, when i first began questioning, stumbled across kalvin garrah and watching his channel made me believe for a very long time that i wasn’t trans, because his views are ‘you must feel VERY dysphoric to be trans!!!!’ ‘you must be BINARY male!!!’ etc, but this video right here has reminded me that there is no formula to being trans. you feel the way you feel and nobody should try to invalidate that.