So when you hear someone tell you to "grow a pair" ~ think of it as "a pair of extra ears" ;)

Hello, I wondered whether I could use this video in a training session for e-learning around communication bariers. Would this be OK?

Very good presentation.

biased expectations are my biggest weakness

Memo: the solution for misscommunication is meta communication

So which ears does he use? Which does she use?

@diekritischestimme

8 ай бұрын

They are both bad in communication and they only hear what they want to hear, based on their prejudices (thinking: "He is always lazy" or "she doesn't care that I am working the whole week"). Nobody should say something like what the guy says in the example in the first place. Rather communicate like this: "[Sorry, dear, ]do you mind closing the window? I am quite tired today." Then if the woman would think he is lazy and should do it himself, ok. She could also put that more nicely, e.g.: "I know you are tired, but I need to do a lot of things right now and you are closer to the window than I am, please do it yourself" (or something like this, but it doesn't make much sense in this example, because discussing this takes way longer, more energy than simply closing the window - if any couple has a fight over such a trivial thing, I guess they are in serious trouble anyway....)

@nelimaliz4881

7 ай бұрын

She uses Apeal he uses factual communication And that's how men and women are different

Sorry, but the video totally fails to bring the most helpful message to the viewers attention: Learning that each message has four sides and how to notice them. Most communication problems already disappear, if people take a short moment to process the information and simply think: Why did he/she say that? - in that regard you chose a really bad example, because you chose the worst case scenario - nobody cares about the factual information, neither how the other feels about it. Of course in that scenario people need meta communication and discuss how they feel, but it is much more important to AVOID conflicts, with good communication and the four sides model really helps with that. For instance you can include clear hints WHY you say something. The best example is the phrase "FYI". (For your information) I can say: "FYI / Just noticed / I just saw / I learned" etc. to introduce a statement which is meant as factual information. This reduces the risk of the other to misinterpret the message as criticism or as an appeal. In the same way you can introduce clear hints for the other messages: Appeal: "I would like you to / Could you please / Do you mind...." (close the window) Self-revealing: "I am tired, could you please..." (close the window) "I don't feel well today..." Relationship: "You seem to get angry with me when I ask you to close the window." "I noticed, you get irritated with me when I ask you to..." The most important thing here is - if you communicate clearly WHY you say something, you won't be ending up in the "relationship" side of the model. Notice how these messages interrelate: 1)clear factual information communication potentially avoids misunderstanding/conflict 2)clear self-revealing of one's needs/problems potentially avoids that the other gets offended by your wish 3)kindly asking what you wish the other to do (in an appeal) also avoids getting a conflict 4) carefully expressing how one feels about the action of the other person, while avoiding to blame them (better say: "I feel sad, when..." rather than "because of you I get sad" or "You are responsible for me getting sad etc. it is "I" statements VS. "You" statements)