An argument with a narcissist is a competition to them. They do not care about a better solution to the overall problem, they only care about winning the argument even if it's at your expense. Let me say that again, the narcissist cares more about being right and winning a petty argument than they care about hurting you.

@tudormiller8898

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly! Trying to have a reasonable conversation with a narcissist is useless.

@lilyghassemzadeh

2 жыл бұрын

They practically make the argument so stupid that you wouldn't want to be part of it in the first place.

@fridahmwenda7640

Жыл бұрын

That's true. I have experienced it

@GreeneChakra

Жыл бұрын

Thanks 🙏🏽 Now I know that I was right for blocking the Narc.

@BelovedbyAdonai

Жыл бұрын

They don't even want to be right...they just want to win. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bottom line...if u value yourself, you wont put up with drama and disrespect. A narcissist can only prey on the weak, so strengthen your mind and body and soul. Believe your worth.

@Shad0wC0mpany2

3 жыл бұрын

Very well said

@kimcovington4395

3 жыл бұрын

This is sooo true ! You have to do this or you will have hell on earth

@davidowenflores7737

3 жыл бұрын

know you're worth .. and add tax ! ...

@yolandafrelow5472

3 жыл бұрын

God help me self 💘

@davidowenflores7737

3 жыл бұрын

KNOW YOUR WORTH.. AND ADD TAX !

When my ex said "I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong in this relationship." my fucking heart shattered cause I knew in that moment without a doubt that this was completely hopeless.

@flamingoo3955

3 жыл бұрын

Im so sorry you had to go through that moment.

@AK-nl1et

3 жыл бұрын

How long were u with them for & how long did it take you to heal?

@IshyVideos

3 жыл бұрын

@@AK-nl1et been with them a little over two years. I went from back to back to back relationships that weren't that great, and never resolved issues with the first moving onto the next. We broke up last November. I would say somewhere last month things started to feel lifted off of me. I think for me personally, I finally learned that "Letting Go" is all about simply Acceptance. Of everything. More I've been doing that, the better and lighter I feel. . Apologize for the novel. Hope whatever pain you are experiencing, that you get the strength to confront it. It will suck a whole lot but has been the quickest way I have learned to be truly free

@georginafronda496

3 жыл бұрын

Same experience when my ex said the same thing. That’s when I knew it was definitely over and I was out. No more and he was never going to change. Once I heard that I could not unhear it.

@athleticamee6485

2 жыл бұрын

My monsterinlaw said the same thing to me. (After yrs of emotional abuse) Been no contact 2yrs and it’s beautiful.

My most favorite response to my most favorite narcissist in my life: "I understand how you feel, I just don't care." I've never found a phrase That was more freeing for me and aggravating to the narcissist than this. Not just because I said it but because I believe it and I live it.

@not-even-german4892

2 жыл бұрын

👍👍👍👍👍

@vhayashi7369

2 жыл бұрын

That is brilliant!!! Love it! 🙌😂😂😂

@peggynorton5535

2 жыл бұрын

Going to definitely use this

@neelapatel1081

2 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU - for providing me with empowering words.

@woodbrassandglass

2 жыл бұрын

@@neelapatel1081 I will only use my powers for good.

They love small talk. As soon as you question the relationship they shut up and disappear.

@thescapegoatclub

4 жыл бұрын

Dustin Francisco yes! that’s become my secret weapon! Who knew after so many years of them pushing me to share personal problems (that they then used against me) that when I told them about my biggest problem- them- they suddenly don’t want to talk. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.

@Shad0wC0mpany2

3 жыл бұрын

Amazing how they shut down when you point out the things they’re doing (which are wrong), and the issues within themselves...

@iammaximus614

3 жыл бұрын

I wished they disappeared so quickly

@sharonsleva4307

3 жыл бұрын

so true

@Meepsavage

3 жыл бұрын

Lol so funny and true Dustin my husband all the way

I got out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. What me really helped is realizing, seeing and believing that there is no hope anymore. Realizing that they are NOT gonna change. Please read that again. They are not gonna change. Seeing through their lies and hopegiving promises is something that I had to see before I could actually leave for good (before this realization I went back 3 times). I went back because of the hope that what he promised was true. But it ain’t sweetie so cut the crap and get yourself together. Give all the love you would give to them, to yourself and when you are continuing no contact you will feel so much relief and you get in an peaceful, fearless state! I hope you will all get there and that we are all gonna make it through.

@warbhu

3 жыл бұрын

Rule # 1 They do not change Rule # 2 If their lips are moving then they're lying.

@Shad0wC0mpany2

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your post. Almost same story here... It was very, very hard for me but I did it for me. I reinvested the amazing love that I had for her into myself! 🙏🏻

@suegilmartin3709

3 жыл бұрын

Esme Rules.. just want to say congratulations to you, for leaving!!! You deserve to be treated well and loved and not be abused!! Great job, Girl!!! You did something that is not easy, but you're hopefully in a better place now!!! Bravo!!

@charitymutsumbeyi7697

3 жыл бұрын

m

@AK-nl1et

3 жыл бұрын

How long were u with them for & how long did it take you to heal?

I have never been so happy to hear that an ex has moved on. I feel guilty for being so happy because I know that poor woman has no idea what she has gotten herself into..

@silkeewald3076

3 жыл бұрын

Right!!! But she also knew that he was married. It started out with lies.

@davidowenflores7737

3 жыл бұрын

her new room mate .. had no idea what she has gotten herself into ... 💥

@michellew3441

3 жыл бұрын

You feel sorry for her in a way even if she is by his side making your life crazy because you think I was there once. I hated his ex because of what he told me, for no reason other than he was a good story teller. After taking with others I learned the real story. You just look at her like, you have no idea, but I’ll sit here calmly and not give him a supply but you’re going to go through it next, buckle up girlfriend and there’s no hard feelings, I was you once too.

@michellew3441

3 жыл бұрын

By the way he was with me when he was still married with a story of we are going through a divorce and haven’t lived together for years but we just haven’t gotten around to filing and I was like ok, 2 years is decent a amount of time. That wasn’t the case. Yes they sold the house and lived separately but were still in a relationship. He was still married to me when he met his current wife. I was with him for 10 years and was the only one to have children with him, jokes on me I guess, I’m actually stuck.

@michellew3441

3 жыл бұрын

Therapy session over lol.

I didn’t realize that I was starving him I just knew that I hated him and I wanted him out of my life!! He left me in the middle of the night Yes I was devastated but now I’m so grateful !

@Star-fe8ch

2 жыл бұрын

Your lucky in that respect x

@lovestolaugh

Жыл бұрын

Hallelujah. I can hope mine does that same!

@HealingHappyAli

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad you're in a better place all around ♡

@lovestolaugh

Жыл бұрын

That was the best gift he could have given you!

@belindariojasjones2540

Жыл бұрын

I didn’t realize it either. Yes it hurts when they leave. But it hurts more to stay.

What I have learned from previous relations with narcissistic women is to never, ever engage again. You do not recognize their disorder early on, it takes months and then it is too late. Stay away, live alone and feel so much better.

@leehogg4624

Жыл бұрын

Well said

@lovestolaugh

Жыл бұрын

By the time you see it, it's too late.

@BlaecOleander

Жыл бұрын

Nah, bro. I believe in you and your worthiness of love. I feel you, though. Every guy I've ever dated was narcissistic, and I realized that some were, but not some others. I wanted to give up, but I just can't. Yeah I'm still single, but I use all those jerks to show me what I deserve and that if I feel bad about someone then I'm probably right. I don't know this, but I wouldn't be surprised if you, at least at one point or another, felt uncomfortable about that woman. A lot times we're taught not to be judgemental, but sometimes (more often than not, in my experience)it's a-okay. I guess I said all that to say that it breaks my heart to think of a jerk like your ex ruining love for you forever 🥺 I wish you the most perfect love for you. What you really deserve

It’s hard to look at a grown man with beard as a child. I’m working on feeling nothing towards anything he does or say but it’s like he keeps coming with new ways to get to me. My inside is screaming JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

@sandra8991

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe it helps to imagine him wear a diaper? Like imagine a unfriendly boss on the toilet or naked... they get less scary

@fatimahamer7131

4 жыл бұрын

Sandra Müller hahahaha that’s hilarious. I will remember that and it will be funny every time I think about it when he does his things 😂

@maryjflanagan1922

3 жыл бұрын

Keep at it. I'm trying very hard too.

@terenceklein7396

3 жыл бұрын

I honestly understand that feeling. They stick like epoxy.

@shellybahe8377

3 жыл бұрын

Omg!!! I know exactly what you mean by JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!

“Bully”- great word to describe them when they have learned about your sore spots and then prod to try to trigger an over reaction from you!

@KaliLinuxx

3 жыл бұрын

Mine accuses everyone of bullying him and labeling him. Pitiful. He got scared i got a therapist and screamed at me she better not tell me he's toxic for me. Seems he's afraid of his own self projected statements

@latoyadale5747

3 жыл бұрын

Generally speaking: People that trigger people just to get a reaction from you have to be one of the most miserable, evil, and demonize people there is. It amazes me how many people go through such bullying just to be labeled crazy behind the reactive abuse when they snap or react back. People should not have to suppress how they feel when they are being provoked and then expected to be normal instead of reacting accordingly. Society have normalized this behavior as normal whether you are a child, adult, or a person with a disability. There should be a law put into place that protect people from bullying that if person commit suicide behind a bully THAT/THOSE Bullies should be charged with murder just like a assailant regardless if the person had a choice not to do it. The laws of today are not really in place to protect such victims nor victims but it actually covers the offenders. In my whole years of living, I have never seen such a messed up Justice system in my life in which we would be better off not even having laws, a Justice system, or rules in which citizens abide by. I would love to see how that work out, wishful thinking right?🤔 I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be to much of a difference as now. Overall, the point of this message is bullying should NOT be normalized no matter who you are, what position you hold, age, or your status everyone should be equally treated and it is our right to live in peace. Bullying laws need to be ENFORCED not the victims being FORCED into SILENCE!🙄 Many people talk about standing against bullying but at the end of the day their actions prove nothing just vague words. Most of the videos, post, meetings that circulate nowadays about standing against bullying is a bluff/cover up with no results that protect the victims but mostly result in suicide of victims. Lord help this world!🙏🏽

@lesliedion5187

3 жыл бұрын

@@latoyadale5747 Eloquently put! Your voice is so on point and important! I feel like you should have your own channel! Lol! Sign me up!!

@latoyadale5747

3 жыл бұрын

@@lesliedion5187 Lol, thank you! KZread ain't ready for what I have to say yet😩 They probably end up banning me or shutting my page down🤐 I like the REAL & RAW Truth & Facts... Tell it like it is lol!💯

@princesspink0816

2 жыл бұрын

Yepppp my husband is a bully big time. He is so freakin abusive. I dont know what im gonna do.

It really is like being on a hamster wheel. For Your own good and peace,stay away from them at all costs!

I love it when a narcissists gets to suffer the consequences for their actions weather it,s him or her.

It's like they come after you to suck your energy, once that is achieved, they feel so good and re energized.

@mrln04

2 жыл бұрын

They're energy vampires

@jamoriah

2 жыл бұрын

TOTALLY!!!!!

@lovestolaugh

Жыл бұрын

Mine is an energy vampire too!

@Christrulesall2

Жыл бұрын

Archons in human flesh. Period. Not fully human, but possessed to harvest your lifeforce.

@eagleeye2300

Жыл бұрын

​@@mrln04 LITERALLY.

Here's what you do. Disappoint them and do things that encourage the discard. Make them think that they discarded you meanwhile it was actually you. Then they won't be so quick to hoover. It'll buy you some time to cut them from your life until they are trying to get back in. They won't try to get back in as strong.

@TomFox1

4 жыл бұрын

yes!

@Earthether

4 жыл бұрын

Mouse Lord thank you

@MrSamadolfo

4 жыл бұрын

🙂👍 yes i agree, be the dumpee ☺️

@kyndalgarrett3175

4 жыл бұрын

That’s what I did. I acted emotionally vacant. I didn’t give him the reaction he asked for. I smiled at him and encouraged him to get so angry he’d be WILLING to leave me alone. We’re having a baby in 3 months and I refuse to allow her to bear witness to his narcissistic rage. The screaming and yelling and threatening. Not okay. That’s emotional abuse to the child.

@gyamagya19

4 жыл бұрын

Mine was a total narc his mom too... just imagine how brainwashed i was for 5 months before i decided to leave... Mind games, jealousy, gaslightings, blaming, never thankful, everytime poiting dirty fingers, competitiveness, comparison, working like a slave in their home.. they were the worst... i was so blind the love bombing phase that he convinced me to move with him and his awful mom. i was lovebombed by eachother then devalued , i felt like a piece of shit. I never saw a creepy and strange close relationship between a narc mom and a narc son.. i escaped before they descarded me, they were devastated... now he tries to hoover me, but he moved with the new supply and his mom... same as he did with me. I wanted to warn the new supply but i don't want to give them the reason to think i care or to make me crazy and look stupid. They groomed the new supply and now they flaunt all 3 on social media... i can't wait for the new supply to actually see what is she into and run away like me... i pity her.... honestly.. those are monsters.

The narcissist (family member) that was in my life, who was destroying me to the point where I was sometimes considering ending my life, identifies as a "warm, loving empath." Once I learned more about narcissists and narcissistic supply, everything made sense. Good people want to give people chances, but it comes to the point where you need to step in and save your own life because these people are sick and WILL destroy you. The abuse and manipulation make you question your own sanity, especially if the narcissist is highly intelligent. After many chances, I decided to cut off the narcissistic supply and they are freaking out and trying to manipulate in order to keep me in their life. It was a painful choice because these types make the very early times magical before the monster within starts to gradually reveal its head. I feel that another reason why the narcissist needs to keep someone around, especially after a breakup (as a friend), is because the narcissist doesn't want to be viewed badly. It's not that they give a flying fuck about you (they don't). It's because they are a narcissist and can't stand knowing that there is someone in society who had bad experiences with them who looks at them with disgust.

@erikakarlsson5703

11 ай бұрын

My husband says that he is a warm empath but with me there is zero empaty. I think he is a covert narc. He ticks off every trait, especially the martyr. That make so much more sense to me.

My ex never gave me compliments. It was like dying in a desert crawling towards him while he held a glass of water drinking it slowly in front of me. One night I asked him to tell me three things he liked or appreciated about me. He immediately responded, "That sounds like a loaded question." He never did give me three things. 7 years and he never gave me anything but regret for the time I wasted. If I can tell anyone anything, time is your most precious commodity. You can never get that back. Please don't waste years of your life in toxic relationships becoming toxic yourself.❤️

@peterbradley2526

Жыл бұрын

Narcissistic person are bully's all of them .

@HailaAlexis

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry you went through that ☹️

@tonyconnor5691

Жыл бұрын

You get compliments at the start

@show_me_your_kitties

Жыл бұрын

Great advice

@cashainouno1035

10 ай бұрын

Get out of there!!!! It only gets worse.

I was scapegoated for 70 years! It feels so good to finally know & be free.

@allenone6970

Жыл бұрын

60 yr for me. Father. He died.

You definitely have to refresh yourself on these videos if you’re dealing with a narcissist, because these are things that take time to instill. Thank you once again for your hard work!!!

@tinaleonie5811

3 жыл бұрын

Yes its so hard

@kayg3405

3 жыл бұрын

This is true

@tbrown1484

3 жыл бұрын

Yes!!! I feel like a crazy person having to relearn the same lesson to remind myself that the situation won’t change!!! But I know it will all be worth it

@zibratesmom-giftsforlife8751

Жыл бұрын

I was thinking this - I’m gonna need to watch this video several times. It’s very helpful

@tonyconnor5691

Жыл бұрын

I watch these videos to confirm that it wasn't me although I'm no angel especially towards the end, but everytime I feel down I watch these videos

Distance has worked for me: just cutting off contact and limiting interaction when I have to see the person - like you said.

I already went no contact and the flying monkeys keep going. Lolol.

@Earthether

4 жыл бұрын

:-(

@cdkworks

4 жыл бұрын

I know how ya feel. I dated someone like this for 2years. I went no contact and cut them off completely. For 3 months she kept texting me, I never responded. So hang in there, it will stop just take time. Just wanted to encourage you in this.

@laurieoshell4913

4 жыл бұрын

Flying monkeys are so annoying! Hang in there!!

@kepistevoloboo6916

4 жыл бұрын

Me I swore if any flying monkey comes again, I'll make a report to the police then punch them straight in the gut

@cryonix380

4 жыл бұрын

No contact approach does not work. They will simply gossip or indirectly say things about you. The best approach is to stand your ground, be confident and confront verbally when they are direct and to cut all relations with them. Make them feel as if they are invisible. Another approach is to do things the opposite of what the narc says. They will eventually run out of energy and leave you alone.

Sometimes I think, 'what if I'm the bad guy' but then I think, 'even if that's the case, that's more reason for me to not have any more contact with them'. Awesome Video x x

@ravenazt3cz850

4 жыл бұрын

I've gotten some of my traits from my mom and dad and I refuse to let my son be exposed to that toxic behavior. So I've been working on inner healing. But my ex on the other had let's just say he got it bad. So yeah your right that's all the more reason to not be with that person

@robthom09

4 жыл бұрын

I try to surf many advice videos, and see many valid points, but I have never seen, lifestyle coaching, coupled with mindfulness, stress management's, etc... In life, I have often seen couples in which both sides say that the other is the abuser. I know people often don't change, but some people honestly don't know how. I was in a long relationship with lots if abuse from her. I made excuses for her during the first few years because she had multiple deaths in her family. When we finally saw a counselor, they eventually told me that she had deep rooted abuse and abandonment issues ( and I should abandon her too). I don't miss her at all, but last I heard she is still married for the last 10 years. We all carry baggage from our life experiences, just need to reach the point of partitioning those experiences and move forward. I am not suggesting blocking feelings, etc..., but life is not always fair, and one thing I think that most of us are missing these days is maturity and life-coping skills, from both partners.

@renaed9691

2 жыл бұрын

THIS COMMENT OPENED MY EYES

Everything you said was so true. I walked into my ex covert narcs traps often by reacting emotionally. Little did I know at the time I was giving him exactly what was feeding him. Thank you for your channel.

Such wise advice. Yes, don't respond with negative emotions to the narcissist's abuse, it's what they want. On occasions, when they accuse you, smile and agree, it takes the wind out of their sails!

Going no contact spiritually is a real thing. It's very strange to learn to literally hold onto and protect my energy like it's a physical thing.

My wife and I couldnt understand why her mother wouldnt leave her abusive relationship. Trauma Bonding!!! And she has an addictive personality. Everything makes sense now.

Starting this now . I’m tired of being cussed out after I pay all the bills and treat them like a queen

@Lovepeaceandchickengrease

4 жыл бұрын

same here, I'm the one paying for almost everything and handling everything and you come at me?! no, this stops now

@Earthether

4 жыл бұрын

i_vette exactly. I’m not exactly sure why I allow it. Not sure if I’m afraid of being alone or the feeling of losing in another relationship or that I can’t find someone who loves me for me? I suppose it’s all That ... So I hang on and feel bad when I get mad at being mistreated.. but the mistreatment goes up n down line a roller Coaster - nice mean nice mean nice.... It’s got to stop and I have To face being alone again

@LoveAJuneBaby

4 жыл бұрын

@@Earthether you're not losing, you'd be gaining the start of learning how to live and love yourself. That's a gain, be strong and have faith in your self worth.

@mikeackerman1174

4 жыл бұрын

Me too!! Then after all the bills are barely paid its the “where’s all the dam money go”? Even though it mostly went on HER credit cardsssssssssss!!

@MichyGW

4 жыл бұрын

I'm cheering you on.

Not reacting to narc is impossible They dont quit .....biggest annoying trait is they are always right ...never sorry..... god forbid they have consequences for their actions ...... Its a nightmare I agree with ( short responses ) & stay on topic i agree

@SilentFigure1

4 жыл бұрын

Google challenges the always right. But your right. What a nightmare.

@fatimahamer7131

4 жыл бұрын

I feel you

@tammyfitzgerald5336

Жыл бұрын

I block and keep blocking not responding

Use self hypnosis, write things into paper all of the qualities you didn't like about yourself, don't gave the narcissist the power to control you, Do affimations , Visualisation

Thank you. This was eye opening and helped me understand not to react to the emotional tantrums and back lashing the Narc does.

Thank you Stephanie. Great advice indeed! May l just offer some help to others also. All narcissistic people are basically bullies. They live out of a control based mentality and they dislike others who counteract their point of view. Remember this! Narcissistic people are hurting inside themselves. Their behaviour is a learned behaviour and to gain acceptance, they adopt ‘stand over’ tactics in the hope that others will yield to their ideological ideas and practises. Hurting people hurt people, abused people usually abuse people later on, bullied people bully others and so on.... Try look beneath the outward negative bursts of their behaviour and their controlling techniques and listen (intuitively) to their emotions. Underneath all their nasty behaviour (that you do not deserve receiving) is nothing but unresolved past turmoil that’s swirling around inside them. When dealing with narcissistic people apply the following: . Speak calmly and give short but very succinct replies. . DO NOT get into arguments (although it’s sometimes hard to not fire back)as this will only fuel the narcissist. . Always be civil and show NO emotions. They will read and react to your emotions. . Try have minimal contact with them (this can be hard, depending on your relationship with them) . Just be clear and in control of your own triggers and emotions. They are expert at pushing your ‘wrong buttons’. You deserve better and you are ‘worth it’. Guys! You have so much to offer and give to others rather than bow down to unacceptable behaviour. I hope this encourages you all. Bless you all. Geoff B. from West Australia

@sandygrays4066

2 жыл бұрын

Well said..... Stay safe and well

@zibratesmom-giftsforlife8751

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. That was helpful. 😌

Been going no contact with narc father for 5 and half months!

@craig3714

3 жыл бұрын

@Steven P Don't look bad k

I punched my ex in the face after he just kept saying REALLY nasty things to me... It felt liberating

@dwilliams171

3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤛🏼🤜🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼

@rosenyokabi608

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂i did it too. I can relate

@shihanUKS

3 жыл бұрын

...and what if it was the other way around? Feeling liberated alright...behind bars. Double standard alive and well...still.

@maryjanet.i.8724

3 жыл бұрын

My ex would try to push me over the edge but I always had the feeling that he wanted me to go that way so he could change the focus and my behaviour would be the main problem. I left him but it took me 13 years. Looking back I can’t believe I put up with so much bs for so long. Crazy. Such a waste of emotional energy.

@tawanachristian3396

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😁

My favorite statement to flying monkeys: "Oh, is that what he/she said? hmmm..." Pretend to ponder.. Then I change the topic and soon depart.

A Narcissist . Has no remorse. No feeling of guilt, no empathy to feel any hurt. They remind me of a species that's out to devour its prey. Like a lion killing a helpless Gazelle. They love the kill and the game of winning. You will often find these humans playing games with peoples minds. And also on Play stations Nintendo,s etc. For ever trying to beat the opponent which is you. You will never win because you are just the game. They have no capability to Love. They try but have fake nice personality..For every nice personality you throw at them they use it as a weakness in you. You've Lost the battle. Their charm is false. They are very cold heartless creatures that inhabit the Earth. Walk away as soon as you see a red flag. Unless you wish to be hurt.

I went no contact for 6 months which then gave him reason to discard me for him to save face. Those 6 months enabled me to heal with daily practices, and respond more than react. I became too healthy for him...

@tammyfitzgerald5336

Жыл бұрын

Amen I’m trying he said he sent a gift for him here lmao I threw it out 😂😂😂😂😂

I'm actually doing this just by putting up boundaries and it's working 😆

@daliborilic5358

2 жыл бұрын

Working still? I'd love to know, not for the hope, but reality.

@lovestolaugh

Жыл бұрын

I put up a boundary of him touching me less and he hated it. But I held my ground and kept up the boundary. I'm slowly starving him of affection, only because I don't have any desire to touch him at all, or sleep in the same bed.

A 2 year old emotionally. I use observe don’t absorb. She can tell me you’r nuts. My response. Wait for 20 seconds then ”yep”. No + or - energy given to this person who derives pleasure when others are hurt.

@NN-yq3yl

3 жыл бұрын

It is sadly thue, the narc gets a high, after inflicting pain.

Thank you so much! My first husband, now living with his 3rd wife recently engaged conversation @ my daughter's home. I thank God for the answer that came out of me and cancelled any personal challenge. Recently, he joined my chat list on FB & is engaging with extended family. I removed him from my list. I did not say anything to family on the list. Actions speak louder than words!

31 years of dealing with this type of situation and I'm finally figuring out that I'm worth having peace in my life . At this point in life I'd rather be alone and living in peace than having someone living in hell.

This is describing my babies momma to a tee. This realization can finally end the torture she has put me through for the past six plus years. I ended all contact a year and a half ago simply because I was getting destroyed. That means I haven’t seen or talked to my daughter either, but now that I know all this I think I can reestablish contact and not fall for her garbage anymore. It’s still going to be difficult but knowing this now I feel empowered for the first time since she hijacked my daughter and she had absolute total power and control over me. I might actually be able to take my life back again Thank God!! Thank you for these videos!! Life changing.

@nozukophungula8425

Жыл бұрын

All the best!!

I know this has NOTHING to do with the topic, but every time i watch your video and i cant take my eyes off your hair! Its so healthy & shiny, you should make a video on hair care :)

@supercharged1046

3 жыл бұрын

Was thinking the same thing, matches her beautiful eyes.

@traceylennon1204

2 жыл бұрын

OMG same!! I was thinking when my hair becomes healthier her hair is the goal...

Wow AHA moment. “You’re going toe to toe with someone who will cut you at your knees”

No contact is the absolute best course if at all possible !

Belive in God with all your heart that He will handle this abusive humans

@davidcoxinparis

3 жыл бұрын

No, you have to stick up for yourself, take charge yourself, because God ain't gonna do jack crap for ya! He's too busy being non-existent.

@gabriellecollinstherapies128

3 жыл бұрын

Flavia I’m doing exactly this because each time it gets to the court date he pulls a stunt so I’m really believing God will not ally this to happen next time which is November

I now delete her texts before I even read them. Helps me not get drawn in to her foolishness. Best thing I’ve done in years!

@TranquilWanderer

2 жыл бұрын

Genius

@tammyfitzgerald5336

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

If you want someone to leave you alone, just act crazy...act needy and generally just be unreasonable & nuts! Keep texting them stupid things, dont give them any space, become a bunny boiler...they will never bother you again!! I've had to do this with 2 exes in the past, one was a narcissist...it works a treat!

@tammyfitzgerald5336

Жыл бұрын

😂❤❤❤❤❤

@Angelina_Rava

Жыл бұрын

Thanks 🙏🏼

@rosieb471

Жыл бұрын

It’s not a bunny boiler, it’s a boiler bunny.

These videos have really shined the light on a large portion of what I went through separating from my family after life long abuse. I had to remove myself from my mother, stepfather and sister. The grieving part is so true. It feels so unnatural to cut off family; however, healing and having a satisfying life sometimes requires exactly that move.

It sounds like you are talking about self-presence. The knowledge that I am who & what I am, and that no one else has the right to define me, to me. So... no matter what that other person does or says, it cannot touch who I am... because they don't have the right to decide who I am... only I have that right.

@Lovepeaceandchickengrease

4 жыл бұрын

I like this!

@PeterKaitlyn

4 жыл бұрын

@@Lovepeaceandchickengrease Thanks. Hope it helps.

I really appreciate you bringing out how we can sort of become crazy and it only enables or confirms the narcs accusations. This whole rollercoaster ride is hell and unless you’ve dealt with it... it will look like the empath is a raging lunatic. It literally makes you lose your mind while in these relationships. Keep it together guys and girls. We have a journey but we will come out of it stronger and wiser.

You are very good at your teaching. Great that people are learning this. Not to blame anyone but to protect the people. Best to you.

I ALWAYS think these things; "How did I let this happen? How did I not just stand up for myself?". I've had the belief that everything happens for a reason and one is to teach you about yourself like you said. Its a tricky thing to accept someone did THIS to me and not feel like im playing the victim, like I COULD have stayed gone the first time I left; I kept going back and THAT was my choice idk that goes back to the misperception of the "good times" another video compared it to hitting the narc pipe; I kept going back even tho I KNEW it would be sh*tty again. Since I KNEW isn't that like my own fault; or is it because I was being manipulated into it? That's a harsh reality that I had my guard down I let him in my mind & I let him control me while I turned a blind eye and explained away ALL the abuse. There is years of my life I've realised I had blocked out probably as a survival tactic. Its painful, how a custom I've become to where I'm lonely and sad and stuff and its just so crazy how much alike it is to an addiction. I hate that I'm like immobilized w, idk how to explain it, emptiness. I thought I'd feel free after I left but I still constantly think of him and feel controlled by that. Its wierd; just like "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

I had many bad experiences with people like this and my best way to deal is being gentle and saying they are so amazing and staying away. Don't explaining too much, just basic answers, because I am occupied. "Oh I am so occupied with this and that" and stay away. Rock face and no emotions. Don't engage, don't try to be reasonable. "Oh I am sorry you feel this way" and that's all. Stay away. Don't talk to much with the person and don't deliver any emotions. 😊

You said all the right things I needed to hear.. I’m being as strong as I can and not giving in... thank you

My ex narc never seemed to last past a year in her relationships. Of the half dozen she told me about (i’m sure there were more) the theme was she was asked to leave or she was cheated on. Anyway, our “relationship” endured 4+ years. I had no idea as i do now just how toxic it was or that she was a textbook example of a covert narcissist, etc. etc. Am now Going NC for a second time... Your video made me realize i was indeed a fantastic source of supply to her and she’ll never likely find another as rich in supply as i was. I mean, there cant be two guys on this planet as stupid and naive as i was😒

@terenceklein7396

3 жыл бұрын

Sorry bud.

@jorgeloco

2 жыл бұрын

I feel you, i just noticed all this stuff like a week ago. I'm even dumber than you (No offense, I'm just following on your joke) :P. I came back to her 3 times for a period of 5 years. A month ago I was trying to get her back. So funny she used to tell me the new supply was an idiot, and about 2 weeks before we broke up she started saying she was wrong and that he was a great person (I literally allowed him to snort coke inside my car one time, and she used to say she wouldn't ever hang out with someone that did drugs). Guess who also was an idiot before she started a relationship with her? Me. Just waiting for one day to see the turn tables (because I literally feel all of this is straight up diabolical), because it is my sincere hope that this new guy nor any other person has to live through the same stuff I endured.

@Melissa170898

2 жыл бұрын

My gawdd I had a friend whom I’ve known for 16 years. Her romantic relationships were about her getting cheated on / leaving etc. I realized I was being used when conversations were ALL about HER. The problems were ALWAYS the same. I’d listen and ask questions but she rarely asked about me. If she did, the topic would go back to her. I ended my friendship with her a d yeah, I initially felt stupid but came to understand why I was friends with her. My logic was “poor friends are better than no friends”. I also don’t think she’ll ever find an excellent listener like me 🤣🤣. Wish them luck 😂

This is very helpful information, thank you. At times when he's raging, I can see him as a child, but now I'm going to purposefully view him as a child all the time, every second, every action & every word. At times, I'm giving him respect because normally, that's the right thing to do, but I realize now that I have to behave completely differently in dealing with a Narcissist. My counselor gave me some really good information recently that also helped me in dealing with my husband, and that is that he as a Narcissist doesn't feel the same way I do, so for me to expect normal behavior from him will do no good. 🤯

@oscarwilliamson6163

2 жыл бұрын

Regina Thorp,Hope you are not with a narcissist......

@BananaHannaah

Жыл бұрын

This exactly describes me and my bf😔

I'm loving you and Dr. Ramani! Aside from my therapy, your videos have helped me understand how to take control back of my life.

Thank you. You helped me understand why I do not “go for the jugular” as the narc does.

Great advice, it took me awhile about four years before I figured out what i was dealing with and so I starved her of supply, and when she figured out I lost interest she was ready to move on. Relief, now I can breathe.

Great video. I love how you mentioned how you won’t learn the lesson if you keep avoiding . I was once this way . Now I tell people exactly what my problem is with them on my way out .

Perfect! Another video I needed to hear. I can finally stand back and reframe the situation. Take back control of my path and remind myself that this person is just having a tantrum and they have issues. That way I won't get dragged down. Just stand back and observe without letting them cut me at my knees.

I was discarded and still hovered. The situation really did help help me see issues that I’ve had for years and begin to handle them and pay attention to myself.

Thank you, very well done. This is the most advantageous video I’ve seen yet in terms of tools to use when dealing with the narcissist. I appreciate your approach.

You're simply amazing. I wish I had watched your videos a ve-ry long time ago. So many nods, smiles of relief and sense of empowerment. Tomorrow is a whole new day.

This video was exactly what I needed today and flipped the emotional place I was in from being annoyed to being okay

How to starve a narcissist? Put them in their place and run like hell.

@Ultra1884

4 жыл бұрын

I do this with my ex who I "co-parent" with. Then turn my phone off 🤗

@MichaelRSaavedra

3 жыл бұрын

Putting them in their place doesn’t work. Because they will call U rude and disrespectful etc. They not open minded enough to value ur perspective.

@v4voodoo861

2 жыл бұрын

This isn't the right way to deal with a narc... but can't deny the immense satisfaction it gives 😁

The advertisements for roof replacement are really high quality

Thank you for this. Im just out of a 6+ year heart wreching relationship with a 53 year old man that acts like a young boy in puberty. Its been so hard ..the hurt I've had to deal with has been aweful. He is so gifted to always blame me for why things don't work out. He doesn't hear me when I tell him that I will not tolerate his porn addiction. His pantyhose addiction.his gambling addiction and believe me he is a monster with all this ..oh and the blow offs.. I gave him a brief chance and let him in. And it was going well for a few days... And boom he did it again went behind my back and made justifiable reasons for it. . Made me feel like i was the crazy one for not forgiving him again. Im working on myself and hold strong to not letting him back in. After all these years I know he will never change for the good. I believe he's been this way most of his adult life. Its just time for me to let go and live again and feel good about the person I am. Thanks for this video. It really helped.

@alwaysasolution5519

3 жыл бұрын

Block him for the rest of your life. Say nothing and don't respond to anything he does or says. As you build your self respect and establish boundaries, you will wonder what you ever saw in him.

@joanbaczek2575

3 жыл бұрын

So he’s a narc cuz he likes kink?

So thankful I found your content! Dealing with the narcissistic wife of my grandfather who passed away, I am the executor. This is going to be so helpful to return to when I have to interact with her :)

I’m going to start this with one of my co-workers tomorrow. Years of going through this with her. Finally a start... thank you

Thank you for your great content, if it wasn’t for channels like this I don’t know what I’d do. Keep up the great videos !!

Your videos are just so incredibly helpful. I can't thank you enough for making them!!

Very true! Welcome the tests. I’ve learned so much from these videos and it’s really helped so much in these interactions.

I’ve become financially dependent and want to separate after 15 years. I had no idea what this could do to my mental state. He continues to remind me I can’t pay the bills if I leave. I have faith and then he sneaks in when I’m tired and overwhelmed and consider staying. It’s an insane cycle!

@Jonsie1515

3 жыл бұрын

Same here. I started back to school! 14 years and I finally decided there’s no excuse! You will make it! You may not live a “fluffy” life but it’ll be worth it! Stay strong.

@warbhu

3 жыл бұрын

You will heal exponentially once you go no contact. I am 100% sure you will get mental peace by going absolute NO CONTACT.

These videos about dealing with narcissistic people have been most helpful. ♥️

You are the therapist I've never had, thank you for making these videos 😊

So good. I needed this topic today. Cant tell you how much your videos have helped me the last couple years since going no contact and divorce. Ty,ty,ty

@fatimahamer7131

4 жыл бұрын

Congrats on your divorce. I’m waiting for my turn lol

Any co-parenting with a narcissistic mother videos? Perfect word for them "bully" and highly immature, it's insane the insecurities they have and project on everyone else. Ohh!!! And it's always everyone else fault not there own.

@Tiamoya23

4 жыл бұрын

This is my mom. -_- it's always "me". And swears I don't like her. Makes me prove 2 her I do. It's nuts

@ashleyjackson6028

3 жыл бұрын

I would love a video like this to deal with my husband's ex.

@butterfly-sky

3 жыл бұрын

She does have a video on that!! Just look for narcissistic mothers by her name

Your channel is everything I need. Thank you for making this content accessible!

It's true , they always have to disagree with everything. It was very frustrating. Lots of people are immature in an alcohol society and not compassionate but narcissists are more abusive than that. With long term goals no matter what as they enlist others to abuse their victims.

I needed this video so much! Thank you! You’re so correct about the negative supply! I’ve never though of it that way! Also, the short sentences, great advice! It IS like dealing with a child, and you need to act accordingly. This is gold.

@oscarwilliamson6163

2 жыл бұрын

MissJeanie59,Hope you are not with a narcissist.....

@jeanieolahful

2 жыл бұрын

@@oscarwilliamson6163 not any more

@oscarwilliamson6163

2 жыл бұрын

@@jeanieolahful Which country are you from?

This is great stuff! So amazing!

I really appreciate your video! It is so grounded, and resonates with all levels of my being, you know, mental, physical and spiritual. You employ emotional maturity with boundaries. No more bleeding heart, dear one, I say to myself. Be kind, becimpassionate to all, including myself, first do no harm, but be grounded, and maintain and respect boundaries, including your own. It's like 🏄‍♀️ surfing, and it takes patience and practice. Loving kindness 💓

♥ this channel and your vids- keep posting Stephanie. We need this knowledge.

Hi Stephanie .Enjoyed your feed back and points to keep in mind .Very helpful .Your a great coach keep up the good work 🙏🇬🇧

@christianpulisic7784

2 жыл бұрын

Nicola Ribbens,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌷,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!

I just think your videos are great. Your videos are coaching me through my divorce better than any of my therapists!

@christianpulisic7784

2 жыл бұрын

Lisa Chen,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!

Gosh! You are so right and so freggin validating! I need soo much practice with this

Thank you for saying "responding versus reacting" as that is something I've been using and sharing with others. Love all your videos and information that you are sharing. You keep them right-sized and full of information and helpful tips.

This is great video. Sometime you must cut even family, sometime just hendal you emotions...But, if someone is very low vibe (family, friends...etc.) cut is only healthy option. Depends...of what is your dream and desire....And if you don't have anything in common with someone (including family members) but they are very drain still, choice is very simple (forget blood)... This is case by case...One thing is most important (my struggle before): learn to be independent and accept myself no metter what (without gilty all the time that I'm selfish).....And don't touch and change anybody else(even save them or help)....Very tricky....More we feel freedom inside we are more respected to everyone outside... I like right now to be alone and I don't participate with sooo many classical programs, but because that honesty to myself I lose needs to judge others....Just I chose for myself things I like right now, and refuse unlike.... We all strugle with concept that we are selfish if we want diffrent things and we want something else- when we see that something isn't best choice (what we thought)... More we are complete- we are free, naturally we respect everyone too...And yes, some people like me will find that is family and stroooong relationships can be difficult...And only way to save your soul is cut them all, because there are no chance to find way out and be happy....Respect what they are and don't try to change anything is the hardest choice but most respective for us and other people....but you can't reach that level if you are sucked every day and attach physical.... When we choice to focus on yourself and heal gaps we don't want relationship to complete us, we are more slower, more one by one oriented, and we just like to enjoy in silence (especialy if you are naturally more introverted)....Relationships exist for share love not for to fill the gaps... If someone come great, if not-great too, but now I like be alone most of the time, and maybe I will change that structure in future....This is only my perspective but I support others to lead their dreams and choices... I'm not fluent engl. so hope that I am understandable😉😊. When you are just You simply, you will never be food for narciss...neveeer.... I see all colors of narciss all my life (great lesonss).... You are beautiful ❤️

This is so helpful, Stephanie. Thank you! Especially the points like limiting the conversations and going emotionless with narcissists. Loved it!

i have watched many videos similar since 2020 when the pandemic started plus when i met the narcissist. yes same year! this is one of the BEST explanations . well done, real and to the point. we have the power to take our life back!!!

Thank you for all the content that you provide. I subscribe because I really enjoy listening to your calm and sensible approach. To me, this video is an absolute home run! I feel you provided the best explanation, distilling the most important understanding/lesson necessary to deal with and overcome narcissistic abuse. 💜

I lurv this. A fun concept I practice if/when being asked to justify myself is quite literally saying “why not” or “I simply feel so happy about my choice and I’m so grateful to God for every 👏🏼 single 👏🏼 part 👏🏼 of 👏🏼 it 👏🏼” Doing keeps me aligned with my intention / beliefs & reminds me to not take myself seriously in that moment; helps me snap out of the emotional plug-in-to-my-aura ‘attempt’ - no big deal. Be you >

Stopping being their supply makes them even more dangerous

@nadiamommy

3 жыл бұрын

You are absolutely right. In my experience I had to show my abuser that I would not hesitate to contact the cops and use the full extent of the law...I believe this was what saved me. Narcissists are about self-preservation and when he saw that I was not afraid to use all resources to protect myself he had to back down. I had to call the cops numerous times and spend lots of time in court for the message to finally sink in. Consistency and starving, for years if necessary, are the keys to success.

@lw2072

3 жыл бұрын

nadiamommy Good!!! Question what to do when they smear you even to the cops! Like Play victim did Get that order though but yes it extremely hard to deal with. Any tips?

@moniqueharris6154

3 жыл бұрын

@@lw2072 that is tough and definitely not surprising since they do not abide by any rules. I had to accept the fact that he would lie to cops, friends, family, and in court. There is nothing that I could do about it other than to consistently be the honest, reliable, calm, emotionally unattached, responsible me and establish myself as such. With both the cops and courts believing him, this only empowered him to continue with the harassment and get worse which was horrible but also allowed me to easily and quickly establish a pattern of behavior with email documentation of his non-stop harassment, verbal abuse, threats, and lies.

@lw2072

3 жыл бұрын

Monique Harris Thanks I know!!! I’m in a very similar situation And in the courts too. What helped me in another incident is that I took to the higher ups too. And me too. I will keep calling the cops is only necessary and Speak up if the (order) is trampled over!! I had to do the groundwork and it took all day but, oh well. Then I was almost told to apologize for the abuse done on me!!! They are not from this world!! Narcissist abusers. Is a whole level of abuse. More dangerous than physical abuse. These entities in meat suit lie to authorities and in court too. They will Play the victim But Justice will prevail!!

@sarahm2973

3 жыл бұрын

@@lw2072 gather evidence if you can

Describing them as children in adult bodies explains everything!

Love this. And yes, I feel like just keeping it short. I don’t extend anymore. I’ve tried being nice. Now, I’m cordial.

Stephanie, you have AMAZING advice! Thank you for enhancing my life by helping me to deal with a super difficult person. He has a dual diagnosis of drug use and narcissistic traits.😪 ❤

@christianpulisic7784

2 жыл бұрын

Beth Steen,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌹🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈 in your life!

@oscarwilliamson6163

2 жыл бұрын

Beth Steen,Hope you are not with a narcissist.....

So many gems. Thank you for these strategies !! Thank you in the context of bullying, this is truly helpful!!! Be abundantly blessed !!

I just want to say thank you sooo much for all your videos. They've help me so much surviving my experience.

I have been looking at many videos about this subject and other life coaches have also demonstrated the same cause and effect . Thank you for helping me understand what has been going on in my life at my work environment.