How To Listen Without Fear-The Work of Byron Katie®
During an event at the Center for The Work in Ojai, CA, a woman questions what she believes about her daughter. One of her statements is “She doesn’t tell me about her life.”
“How do you react when you believe that thought?” Katie asks. “I’m devastated,” says the woman. “Did you come at her with an attitude?" Katie asks. “I did,” the woman says. Katie: “A daughter tells her mother that she’s moving. That's reality. And then there is her mother, the dreamer, living in the dream of past and future and missing the chance to interact with her daughter in the present moment.”
In the turnaround “She does tell me about her life,” the woman chuckles in recognition of her daughter’s efforts to communicate with her. She continues reading from her Worksheet, and when she gets to “I want Courtney to text and call me often, before I call or text her,” she laughs along with the audience. This statement, which once felt so charged, now seems ridiculous. “We’re only on the third statement,” says Katie, “and the way you saw the original situation has already flipped, because you're more awake to yourself than you were when you wrote it.”
Hurt is a tantrum. -Byron Katie
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Пікірлер: 32
This was beautiful and so enlightening. “Age has nothing to do with maturity” and “hurt is a tantrum.”I want to hold onto those ideas. Everytime i see people shift, i see their inner beauty and lovability shine through. They also become younger looking when they lose the fear they are holding onto. Thank you for sharing this!
@susandunn346
6 жыл бұрын
akjlm53 h
As a mother of 2 daughters in their 20's I found this very moving!
wow-I always get a major shift from Katie...thank you.
"Consider how much vigilance you have been willing to exert to protect your ego, and how little to protect your right mind. Who but the insane would undertake to believe what is not true, and then protect this belief at the cost of truth" ~ ACIM
Such a great session! Thank you so much for uploading it! It shows so beautifully how the Work works!
Thank you for sharing this amazing The work ! I'm totally fascinated it
Thank you, this was so helpoful as ssomething became so clear to me which I had been agitating on.
This is what happens when you think you OWN all people that are currently part of your life.
@ImCalebRosengard
6 жыл бұрын
Exactly
Love the clarity of this session
Thank you
Exactly why I sent a friend an email yesterday night.
It would be great if you can arrange the sound, I can hardly hear it. Thank you
@AnnaKayJulie
6 жыл бұрын
For me its okay, what could it be? :-/
Why is it that when I do the work, I can never really get clarity? My original thoughts and feelings fight against the turnarounds?
@holgerschafer4583
6 жыл бұрын
The first thought that comes to me: maybe the fact that you can’t get clarity about the work is in a way a very clear way of thinking. In other words it might be true for some or many of us not to do the work to get a certain kind of clarity. Could be much more fitting not to do the work then... Maybe you don’t need the work on those topics to get clarity about (those) things. Another thought that comes to me is: And if I myself had the thought you mentioned I would sit down and ask myself: I can never really get clarity when I do the work. Is it true? Many greetings from Germany.
@wallaceleewl9189
6 жыл бұрын
Did you try be honest on you?.Always be honest to you. Check if it work for you. I done that.
@wallaceleewl9189
6 жыл бұрын
Oh, I forget to add let the thoughts and feelings be there at the moment. Wait for the turnarounds to happen naturally. Be patient
@helioschan7705
5 жыл бұрын
In addition to the commentators above, it could also be because you have deeper beliefs which hold the original thoughts and feelings and thus the fight in place.
@callum7081
5 жыл бұрын
Go way slower and let the answers come to you. I had the same thing and his helped.
I guess I dont understand what does Byron Katie mean when she said that this work is meditation??? I thought meditation was about being silent and focusing on your breath not talking . Can anyone explain this to me . I do understand the work but not the where she saids the work is meditation .
@willfin3404
6 жыл бұрын
In a broader sense meditation is contemplation, deep thought to study/resolve something. The religious types of meditation are just more specific ways to meditate. The talking here does not take away from the fact that what the woman does is an internal process.
@TheVMCoach
6 жыл бұрын
Your definition is a very limited one for meditation. It's about being silent - mentally... maybe you're focusing on your breath. Maybe you're focusing on your ONE SENTENCE capture of your endlessly volatile thinking process. When Katie is speaking about The Work as meditation, she's referring to the later focus. Meditation is focus and silence...
@yanmingzhu1098
6 жыл бұрын
In my opinion doing the work is to meditate in each question. When focus on one particular thing, the mind would get still, which I think is meditation.
I usually feel sympathetic for all the people who do the work with Kate, but this woman in particular had so little reason to be angry that I got myself angry at her for having to do the work on something so trivial
@thinkpeace2012
5 жыл бұрын
Renan Colombini I totally understood and felt compassion for her, because I am a mother and have felt similar.
@karolinakrupa4820
5 жыл бұрын
Than you could do the work on your anger.
@helioschan7705
5 жыл бұрын
A little reason for you could be a world of reason for her. You can see the pain on her face as she was describing the situation. Doesn't look little! Only she knows what she has been through and why she reacts so strongly to her daughter's news.
@carmenl163
5 жыл бұрын
Maybe you missed it, but she is talking about her daughter going on plane away from her when she was two 5:27 and about all those years she didn't see her daughter. There must have been some big problems...
Byron disregarded this womans very real feeings of abandonment.This is no better a process than gaslighting. To invalidate someone's authentic emotional life like this is invalidating on a core level.Even if the daughter wasn't really excluding the mother,the mother is still experiencing a very painful abandonment,real or imagined, or" dreaming over reality" as Byron puts it.A more healing approach would be to go deeper into the mothers feelings of abandonment, respect and honor those feelings,explore them and discover their roots, in total empathy and acceptance, instead of calling them, a mere "dream" and denying their right to exist in the now, because they DO exist in the now...They may be feelings transferred from another time,applied inappropriately to now but that doesn't make them any less worthy of exploration,validation and support.The "dreaming over reality" may be so,but the dream is real and no less traumatic for being a dream.If this woman's original source of her wounded feelings of abandonment have been left unexplored, they will continue to arise unhealed and be reexperienced.Who abandoned this mother in childhood and how did she learn to abandon herself as a result? I still don't know and neither does she.These are the roots of what she is feeling and need to be addressed so she can truly heal.