Thanks for taking the time to watch this video. I hope you and all your loved ones are safe during these uncertain times.

It would make more sense if they would just reach out instead of playing the jealously game. That's the kind of behavior that burns bridges, and they don't even realize it

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

that would be a good idea @adamoart211 in a theoretical context. But in reality, some people are not that good in truly expressing or even communicating their own selves.

@yohankoo8363

3 жыл бұрын

The truth is they don’t know what they want that’s the problem .... only time will tell

This makes me feel confident I made the right decision leaving him behind. This lack of maturity is a turn off. Thanks Clay 🙏🏽

video starts at 01:30

My ex gf of a little over a month, just recently unblocked me from her stories and has been posting way more than usual and today posted something about how some guy was talking to her. Pretty sure she’s expecting me to respond, but I think it’s pretty immature and attention-seeking. So, I’m just going to leave it alone.

When your ex has been contacting you and then they flex their new relationship, and you block them because you don’t want them to contact you, ever, when they claim to be in a relationship with someone else. I don’t care, I don’t want to be a part of any of his drama and I already set a clear boundary that I never want to be contacted by them if they’re “seeing someone else”.

@shanas.7306

Жыл бұрын

Fucking same issue now! Ugh

Clay, Your advice at the end of this video is gold. It should be at the very start. I have now seen a different side of my ex. My other thoughts on why they do some of these things….. They want you to hate them and the relationship you had. In a sense to make you go away.

@ClayAndrews

Жыл бұрын

@briteidea08 , thanks for your feedback and for sharing your thoughts. Truly appreciated. :-)

@briteidea08

Жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews Have a Happy Thanksgiving!! Thank you for all the advice you put out.

@ClayAndrews

Жыл бұрын

Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. :-)

Hey Clay. Really enjoying your videos. This one kind of hit home. My ex who I share a 4 year old son with yesterday was opening talking about her new relationship. It really stung. I had hurt her early this year so maybe she is justified but at the same time, after your comments I’m wondering if I should just let her go. I’m questioning her character now.

@ClayAndrews

3 жыл бұрын

Hi there, letting go is a personal choice and has to be well thought of. It should not be based on anybody's opinion. Because you have to take ownership and accountability if you would decide to let the person go.

My ex has done a few of these for the past two months since we been broken up now she's in a rebound and it seems the new guy has some insecurities. Now he's tagging her in memes on his Facebook wall and just added a picture and tagged her in it of both of them together in his tow truck whike he's working with hash tags of tow truck girlfriend and riding partner. I haven't reacted or even acknowledge. I'm happy for them both i hope it works out for them. Especially when she's still watching my story or trying to get a reaction out of me

@Volted_Z

3 жыл бұрын

Same situation, but I don't wish the rebound relationship well with my ex...She keeps watching my stories and trying to make me jelous with her new partner but I too am not reacting

@waifubtch6208

3 жыл бұрын

Bro ikr but my ex is Tryna make me Jealous and I don’t care XD I just came here to see what it means

He has no emotions after I found out he was seeing a woman from a dating site while he was still in our 3 ldr relationship and two months later is engaged to her and moved in with her yet he had been in contact with me. I found out a few weeks ago. I congratulated him and wished him well, asked why he wouldn’t tell me his answer was he was afraid it would hurt me. ???? I said what the heck did he think finding out like I did he had done to me. He only said he was still open range, and that I was being cold and I shouldn’t sweat the crap

Clay you should make a video on how long does each stage and the whole process takes to get back with your ex. You're the best, hello from Colombia.

@spiritualrituals9603

4 жыл бұрын

Totally agree. We really do want to know how long each stage takes in a break up... I we are in a no contact, how long is relief, curiosity, anger, guilt etc take.... Please

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

There are no specific time frame for each stages. Remember, we are dealing with people with feelings and their progress will depend on the internal and external factors that they are going through. What is important is we focus on the process and not on the time frames.

It’s been 3 and a half months now. Thinking she unblocked me on IG to show off she’s seeing her ex in an LDR. Starting to think I was a rebound.

I see my girlfriend flirts with another guy so I left her and another guy propose her, whenever I tried to get her back she come to me, but with mixed feelings , now she insult me in front of hole public... Please Help me I truly loved her 😭 Many thing are missing in our relationship , that way she go I know her form 1 years

Hey clay, I think that my ex is trying to make me jealous because me and him work at the same place but he was allowing his new girlfriend to come up to the job while everyone is outside on break, I guess he's showing his new girlfriend off or something and now I have a friend at my job and my ex and my friend is hanging out with each other

My ex posting some relationship related post, like she was hanging out with someone but no one is reacting to her post

I was hoping you'd say what they are doing this.

Before we broken up my we had a fight i told her am moveing away to break up with you an now we been broken up for 5 monthes now she in a long distance relationship the guy lives 2 hours away she tells me he better then me an thats shes moveing away an she told they have not had sex yet so what kind of rebound is this werid

I'm not sure. I need someone's opinion. She started sending pictures of a guy with a muscular body, a great length and curly blond hair while we were calling and she told me he kissed her on Valentine's Day when I couldn't be there.

My ex is doing 4/5 of these but i understand why. I honestly took him for granted, I wasn't the nicest girlfriend 🥺 I regret it...I treated him like I didn't care while he was trying to get me back. Now he's dating her and tells me about it every chance he gets but then tells me he misses me all the time and will always love me.

what if your ex messages you to tell you how meny guys she's slept with and how good it made her feel I replied and acted like I didn't care but the truth is it hurt so much it's been 6 months but I just didn't expect her to say stuff like that and it felt like it was to make me jealous or hurt me.

@estevanruiz31

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you got rid of her.

I'm not jealous type they are jealous of me

I got some real questions that have not bin answer yet

Can I have some advice please? My ex broke up with me and said "she wanted to stay friends" and I don't think I made it clear what I want. I said "I don't know if I can be friends and need some space to think". She eased off communcation with me. I didn't say if she changes her mind let me know. The last convosation we had was an arguement :/ but I did break no contact twice to ask if we could resolve things and try and work it out so is that enough for her to know that I would still like to work things out in the future?

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

Hi John, you have to work on communicating your intent clearly. Meaning, you have to say what you mean and mean what you say, If you wanted to tell her if you both can resolve on things and try to work it out, follow it up with actions. But if you mean more than the content of what you are giving to her, verbalize it as well that you wanted to work things out in the future. Always never assume on things.

@Thelonglostginger

4 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews Thank you so much! Communication was a huge issue looking back on our relationship and something we both need to work on

My ex boyfriend and I live together and we’ve been on really good terms. However, I’m stuck as being the friend with benefits - he told me that he only sees what we do as friends, from hanging out to hugging me and comforting me, and even sex. He told me today that he would tell me if he ever wanted more. It seems he isn’t interested in getting back with me at all. What do I do?

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

Hi Haylie, Living with an ex can truly be a challenge as you have to exert more effort in the process. To void being fallen into the friends with benefit situation, you have to set healthy boundaries with your ex.

Thank God..my ex has done none of these signs. He is just hot and cold.

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

That's great to hear @Tasha. :-)

@cocoluv0835

4 жыл бұрын

@@andrewpaul7884 no i desire be back with him. I don't need anyone

This is all so hard. Can someone please advise me?. My ex is hot n cold n is now ignoring. He told me I need to leave a door open for him to communicate in the future...he’s currently telling me he’s dating someone and happy

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

Hi Ella, I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. It seems like your ex is at the test drive phase. Will you be in acceptance regarding your ex's decision for now?

Can someone just talk to me...?

What if they make their rebound relationship public on social media and block you?

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

Hey Jesus, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. How did you handle the situation when she blocked you on social media?

@jesuscastro2946

4 жыл бұрын

Hi clay, for now I’m just letting it be, I’m not begging or anything like that, but I’m just a little curious to know if she’s doing it to make me jealous or something, you know.

There is a 6th stealth way, it is when we post music links to each other he doesn't seem to pay attention or explain what he likes about the rhythm/music/lyrics, just posts names of burlesque female singers, "you can check her out too", but with a disconnect to the musical content. In my turn i text about my passion for certain harmonies and sounds and rhythm but if it is a male artist I'm posting he immediately responds with the burlesque artists he hardly even heard a song of. "I don't know the details I just like her" It can be confusing. I think he thinks that it's 'my turn' to ask him out to meet this time, (but he probably learnt from childhood or past experience to not communicate his needs) which I will, next week when I have the means to get to his town. I'd really like to see him. He sort of postures and implies that there are presents he will give to female friends. Seems a bit too much information. I'm going to try some emotional connection and ask if he shares my feelings about what some song lyrics (happens to be his favourite song lyrics) say. "Do you also, like me, feel at times that .... [feeling]?" Trying to get us both on the same team.

What happens if ur ex says oh I'm talking to someone new? now an all I said ok good for u an then I tease him I had someone to

@ClayAndrews

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Selena, talking to someone is just like getting to know the person. I hope you won't feel threatened by that. It is normal for him to talk to someone else as technically he is single right now.

@Selena-li1px

3 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews what happens he said he miss me an thinks about me then I got weak bcuz I cared for him so he got mad at me bcuz I have priorities and then he said f*** your apology but then he inbox me sending me pics of him and saying I'm going missed this 😂😂😂so immature

Hi Clay!, so since breakup me and ex have been talking meeting etc after no contact, but over a week ago she stopped initiating and then contacted after a week to meet for walk but then I have had to initiate. found out its because shes seeing someone, its been 3 months since the breakup, and like I said weve agreed to stay friends as we were before the relationship and have helped eachother through a lot in personal things which she used to still tell me about after the split. shes already slept with this guy after what I can only assume is a week and half after she went off texting and is putting him on social media stories which is something out of character for her especially after seeing/speaking to a guy for a week and half!. but still met me for a walk just doesn't try text I have to initiate. she has just canclled on walk tomorrow saying something has happened and in a down mood so doesn't think meeting up is good idea she needs to be alone! I just said not a problem hope shes okay maybe another time. my question is, is it a rebound? and should I do no contact again or continue to try initiate texting until she starts opening up again? Thanks in advance and thank you for all the videos your a great person!

@ClayAndrews

4 жыл бұрын

When it comes to your question if it is a rebound or not, it may be a yes or a not depending if 1. your ex had fully moved on from her relationship with you or not 2. she is emotionally available in her new relationship. If ever you will do ANC what is your personal goal that you are trying to achieve? In what way ANC would make an impact for you?

@seljadinprdolesku300

4 жыл бұрын

So you had to work your way into relationship for months,possibly years and then comes another guy and jumps into her bed after week and a half. As a cherry on top you also have to listen about it from her. She gives more respect to some random dude who knows nothing about her than she ever did to you. Do you have a spine or modicum of pride and dignity? If so - ignore that piece of crap. Please learn to respect yourself.

First

Clay: It's about one-up-ing. The Ex often thinks that We dumpees tried to make them jealous/envious of some cool event we told them about that we did. Some people are MORE sensitive than others. Some exes are very sensitive. I discovered this a few days ago. I texted him that a mutual (female) friend just left my house and we had talked about some cool pop band (I thought my ex would love to text some about that band, get inspired by me mentioning it, and I often praise him for his musical tips). He replied by telling me what cool things he will do this Saturday (meaning: not asking me out) in Paris. "With my oldest friends" He always does this one-upping , and I don't think he is aware of it. He sort of likes 'gaming' with me, like with his guy friends, while I thought I was honestly telling him about something he'd like to hear and connect about. I have to watch very carefully to not write or say words which he can interpret as me performing. He is not a narcissist though, very empathic in many ways, but extremely cautious about anyone getting close. He only 'games' when protecting his privacy or pride. So I needed to try and take it a bit deeper again, wished him honestly a good time in Paris, and asked how he is doing with missing a choir in his neighbourhood church, which he told me about. Wrote to him that I empathize, and feel emptiness when not having communicated through singing for a longer period. I hope he feels safe enough to respond. Being vulnerable/connect without performance, is what I'm hoping we can achieve longterm.