When you think about it, your relationship is probably the most important thing in your life.
It's the person you have by your side through all the many chapters of life that really defines the quality of your experience.
And if your partner is pulling away, walking out the door, and swearing that it's over for good, you are probably in a lot of pain... and understandably so.
What do you do from here? How do you deal with your breakup so you can get back together and put the past behind you?
That's what this channel is about. So subscribe and sign up at www.modernlove.life/newsletter to help and guidance through this challenging chapter of life.
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I am not sure which stage I am at. We were in no contact for a while and started talking a little over 2 months ago. My ex and I meet atleast once in 10 days and text each other every alternate day. This has been going on for a while. He keeps asking me every now and then if I am seeing someone new. I tried to stretch the boundaries a bit and casually mentioned a trip sometime in the future. But he clarified we're not together while sharing one ice cream with me...
I feel like my ex went in the third stage right off the bat but it’s confusing
My ex also just called me the other day after I went back into no contact just to show me something he found that reminded him of me
My ex saw me in person (bad idea I know) and the whole time he acted like we were together… like putting his hand on my leg in the car. Telling me about things that reminded him of me. Telling me about him crying or being sad before then. Saying things that imply he’s not seeing anyone. During while we hung out. Still calling me nicknames from when we dated. Holding my hand briefly when we’re out. Not pulling away from physical contact. I could pull away after doing something and he would pull my hand back and hold it there. Give me really long hugs several times.
(Bad because it’s a week out and he didn’t say he wanted me back)
My ex broke up with me because I am a mess. I have a lot of trama and I love hard but I often struggle to love myself. I didn’t know that the way I would talk about myself around her would effect her mindset as well. She broke up with me because she wanted me to work on myself. I started to go to the gym and go to therapy. Now she contacts me and tells me to come over and I do. We make love still and she cry’s in front of me when explaining her emotions. I feel like I’m slowing her down or holding her back. She deserves a guy who has it all figured out. I want to let her go but I feel she is having a hard time moving on. It’s the honorable thing to do since there is no time limit to when I could get better. I feel selfish for going to her home everytime she ask me to.
The tittle has nothing to do with the video
Clay is a good actor as well. 😊
Do flings count as rebounds or is it part of it?
I had an off day. Was distant. Because emotions got the best of me My ex is giving me the same treatment
Positive pull back is currently what I’m going through with my wife. Separate 6 months going on 7. I really have changed my life around and at month 5 she mentioned potentially getting back together. I think I heard that and started to get too close to her too fast. I’m continuing to show up for our daughter while giving her space. I’m the mean time I’m still improving myself and renovating my house 🏡 like I’m preparing to receive my family back soon enough.
I like giving my ex space
He asked for space (time undefined,). He did not call it a breakup. So Ive backed off for 24 days. Last reach out sbout his dog by text was positive. Im nentally balanced. Not sure if I should reach out?
Maybe I didn't read their mind and they wanted me to make the move! Will never beg
2:50
Does it count as a rebound if they just have a fling?
My ex bf called today and ask why I don’t call him. I don’t call because he’s seeing someone else duuhhh. Why would he want me to call him when he’s told me he doesn’t love me anymore and isn’t attracted to me (even though his rebound is a total downgrade).
Met new girl same week broke up with me two months later engaged and moved in.
Can’t accept her back. She was either another man
Very sorry.
Okay so i went over the crisis point, afrer 5 months of flirting and meeting up last weekend... I pushed a bit snd tried to leverage our connection asked him if he sees s future with me, he said no wnd to avoid hurting me that we should let the chemistry die on both sides so he can give his current girlfriend a better shot. He said we gsj reconnect when our bond becomes more neutral. That vould take years. I told him i love him and im not going anywhere that if he still needs me im always here for him. That he is the love of my life. Do i still stand a chance even though he chose her over me at the crisis ?
Don’t do it. Leave their complete tree 🌲 ALONE. Show strength 💪
My ex bf is in a rebound relationship. I gave him several chances to choose me over her and he didn’t. So at this point, I will never take him back. Moving on now. It’s over forever.
My ex broke up with me in February and we’ve have been up and down a lot since the breakup but sometimes we still act like we never split and on some random encounter we would still be intimate but now recently he stopped the intimacy because he wanted to work on our friendship but I saw a hicky on his neck the other night and he lied saying he scraped it in his pool but I wasn’t stupid and then we got in a huge fight about it him saying he’s single and he can be with whoever but at the same time he was still with me I don’t know if this is part of temporary breakups or I’m just the one not moving on so easily because to me I just thought it was to soon because we were struggling so hard in our relationships both communicating and trust were an issue and unfaithfulness. What do you think doc?
Great commentary. You're so mature for your age.
I bkew it. I finally started building trust and connection with my wx ( who is seeing somwone else ) but i aaked him if he saw a future with me after we hung out. I was pushy. He eaid he didn't see a furure. Also my mom sent him a crasy drunk text telling him to stay away from me. I will never forgive her. He asked for space to really move on. I am unable to accept that this happened. Is there still hope ?
What I can't wrap my head around is how they are able to even attempt to connect romantically with someone else so soon? I only tried a casual fling to make me feel better and I felt physically sick because it wasn't my ex. How do they even force the illusion of happiness around someone else like that unless they're a sociopath? I just cannot understand it. I don't even want to be around someone else. As much as they may have this internal conflict, how do they even make it so convincing that they're happy?
Ummm
It's important to difference the soft block and hard block.
Want to come back because the other person is not better than you, simple as that.
Going no contact is not always a bad thing. It helps you keep your dignity intact.
Can u do a video on why your ex revisits activities or places you took them/showed them
Excellent point of view! Finally the first advice about not applying no contact; thank you!!!
Do you have a video about Ex's withholding affectionate behavior, like holding hands or hugging?
... because you made an huge impact on them such as being the best thing since sliced bread. ❤
Good 😂😂😂
When you are getting on fantastic with your DA ex, and she dumps you out of the blue, a week after her telling you she loves you and sadly her oldest friend passing away... (I didn't know she was DA until she dumped me....by text...and I started to do some homework on relationship attachment styles). Telling me to leave her be and not to contact her, and that she was in a bad place. You don't have any choice but to go no contact.
I would say no don't do it, if he has not been in contact with you treating like you don't matter, and you're not a purity in his life
pretty much the same with my ex all the signs are there.. we seem to talk more now than we ever did
Just found your channel, and have drifted off to sleep for two nights listening to your 8 hour videos. Your voice seems made to soothe me into a deep, restful sleep. Many thanks. 💤
?? How do you do this if they want no contact? And why is this only on the perspective of the dumpee? Even if the dumpee does the work, why should it work the second time if the dumper stays the same? It takes two to ruin a relationship...
Is 4 years waiting to long
Wherever you are, Clay, I hope you're okay...
Would this be achievable by writing a letter ?
I’m separated 6 months the with my wife and her chief complaint for why she isn’t back is she believes I’m going to go back on my old ways. Last month reconciliation was on the table as we were hanging out quite a bit. Her mother went through something life threatening and she pulled away about 30 days ago. We went from her saying if we get back together around the end of June she would go on a trip with me then practically overnight we went from flirting to her talking about divorce again. She still pretty angry with me and has reached out to me and started argument over the last month like she’s testing me non stop. I’ve been non reactive while also respectfully asserting my boundaries. Stepped up in every way so much so her entire family is watching everything I do. I’m just going to keep going because it’s like they are waiting for me to screw up because my wife is so sure that I’m faking all my changes.
She says we aren't getting back together, but neither of us have filed for legal separation. She also keeps trying to talk to me, and saying it has to do with our daughter, but really doesn't.
My ex would always say “he doesn’t want to hold me back” “he can’t be in a relationship right now” he broke up with me a year and a half ago. He didn’t want to talk to me or see me anymore but he didn’t fully want to let me go. He sent breadcrumbs and wouldn’t tell me he definitely didn’t want to be with me. He would make excuses not to see me or talk to me instead and say he was too busy and stressed and sick or tired blah blah blah. He was clearly just avoiding me but he was still paying for a lot for me and would send me gifts for holidays and my birthday. Sometimes his breadcrumb texts were flirty and sexual but he wouldn’t see me in person or talk to me other then superficial texts. I finally had to end it on my end (after a year and 2 months of this) and asked him not to contact me anymore unless its important. He went away for a month then but started sending breadcrumb messages again after a month. After 2 months of breadcrumbs and me not replying he has stopped. I am very sad about it, but I don’t want false hope. I feel like he is obviously messed up mentally right now too and confused but I can’t help him if he doesnt want my help and he doesnt want to talk to me. I am sick of being confused as to what he is doing and how he feels about me. I don’t know if he will ever come back to me and want to be serious with me again. I don’t know how I will feel about him at that point if he ever does come back now too because he has pushed me so far away and hurt me so much
I stopped initiating texts as soon as i realized i was just a dopamine hit to them. I took away their crack addiction of constant validation. As a man, if you can't put in the same effort as im putting into you, then I'll unilaterally change the terms and conditions of the relationship. I've done my best, but now you'll get the same as you give. If you think that's petty, then i hope and pray you find a better man 🙏 but dont complain when you realize the grass isn't always greener.
CLAY'S LOW SELF ESTEEM LIKE BUTTON 👇🏾
It’s been 2 years ago and My ex still slanders me on social media and his friends are believing his lies too and they are saying hateful stuff about me and it’s humiliating… I notice his friends stalk my social media just to gossip about me and that’s why I gave up social media
This is excellent