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@visualgirlabouttown553

2 ай бұрын

Not only bossy coworker telling me what to do, she was going around me and doing my work...which was not her swimlane at all. Then she replied that she WILL do what she wants and complained to her manager, who enabled her. When I didnt say thanks twice to a fake thank you, I was told I had tone, then was minutely micromanaged by said coworker. Person just wanted to protect her lazy. My being hired on to restart a project that had been sitting for nine months meant she woukd have to work and stop telling the business no. I felt like I had stepped into a huge pile that managers knew about but didn't want to deal with. Once she got that nod, the real "fun" began, she became a rabid dog. It was time to move on.

How to deal with bossy coworkers: Ignore them and move on. Don’t give them attention and eventually they’ll leave you alone. It worked for me

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

If you are able to do that--that would work :)

@SqueakySassy

8 ай бұрын

Finally had enough and started trying this approach today. Fingers crossed!

@abigailfrancisco1709

4 ай бұрын

Yeah until he actually became manager and I didn’t know that he became manager and I was still ignoring and he had a chat with me in the office tellin me my attitude is unacceptable and he could send me home and I asked if he was a manager and he said yes, BUT BEFORE HE WASNT A MANAGER like what??

@mohammedsouali2102

3 ай бұрын

Didn’t work for me. She kept nagging because I was doing my job to the point and not her. It got so bad that I needed to tell her to shut up on my 5th day of work because she kept nagging me for doing my job well. Never talked bad to me again in front of my face, just behind my back. Setting boundaries is the best solution, the name tarnishing and backbiting is where you should just ignore it

@FarBear-by6rw

3 ай бұрын

I ask them "oh do you sign my paychecks?" Yeah it's blunt but it works

Nearly every toxic coworker or boss is still responding to the abuse they suffered at the hands of someone else, i.e. their parents, siblings, etc. I've found this to be the case nearly every time I get background info on someone acting like a jerk. I've been gracious to all of them even when they were flat out mean to me. In the end, I left or watched them leave because their toxicity is unsustainable in the long term. It costs employers a lot of money, down time, and productivity. If you have a toxic person on your staff do your employees a favor: fire the toxic person...today.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

I agree.

@Seca1973

Жыл бұрын

But is a union company, fire someone is so difficult task.

@ivybichon8582

Жыл бұрын

I wish that this was necessarily the truth. I seen so many people come and go in my department because of one toxic individual. She’s been brought to HR and yet she is invincible. I finally had to leave and it cost me my mental health and financial loss. I don’t regret leaving. However, companies need to be more proactive in addressing the problem. I ended up getting unemployment. That’s a financial loss for the employer.

@antmanselector

6 ай бұрын

​@ivybichon8582 in that case you should leave negative online reviews and comment about your experiences with toxic employees while working there it will warn others who may see your review ND if enough people leave negative reviews similar to my apartment building ppl are gonna know to avoid it

@shellieperreault6262

6 ай бұрын

How long? I've been taking the high road for a long time, and the toxic person is just not leaving or getting reassigned or getting fired. I'm almost at the point of being the one to leave.

Very timely advice, my wife is being measured up in her new position as a manager. Simply because she started from the bottom and earned her way up there through sheer hard work and skills. Thank you, I appreciate your post. 🙏🏽

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome erictubero and thank you.

I find that bossy coworkers: 1) don't feel seen or heard. 2) want to show they are helping when they are not, and 3) they want to take part in your success..in sum, they want to feel needed.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Yes.

@georgemtz8829

10 ай бұрын

You got it clear as day 🎉

@tiffany3319

9 ай бұрын

You hit the nail on the head! I’m going through this right now this woman is needy as the day is long!

@jeanudo762

3 ай бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Is this really true? What should other coworkers do to support their colleague that displaying such behavior?

@helendsilva8321

3 ай бұрын

@@jeanudo762 Great question. In working with clients who experience this from their colleagues, we can definitely practice some of what Dan has modelled. We can also create opportunity for the person to then feel heard, needed, is valuable. The energy between you and the other person can change dramatically to be a safer more harmonious one. What often happens is an ego boxing match. Dan has modelled an ego- absent response which is very simple: "Thank you." "Thanks for the tip." etc. Dan's tips work. What he teaches is what I am often working with clients on when they experience bullying, feel insulted.

See the thing is, since bossy coworkers are unwilling to think about the impact of their bossiness, I am therefore unwilling to think about the impact of my response. I realize that effective communication can be something that's tough for bossy co workers to grasp, and I sincerely hope that each of them learns that skill for their own good.

@TheWizardOfWords

11 ай бұрын

Jordan, the impact of the bossiness of bosses is all on them. How you respond is on and about YOU. Why let their disrespect and ugliness spill out onto your responses? I don't understand that, and I don't think that is who you are. Don't worry about the skills they learn, Jordan; worry about the skills you are learning--worry about the person you want to be and the true image that you want to project.

@EricaChavira-on4oz

Ай бұрын

Thank you!

Great stuff, Dan. The point @4:15 about saying things in a loving way is really about who we are. That was a killer point! Every part of this was pure gold.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Alex. Congratulations on the growth of your coaching company.

@alexanderlyon

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you, Dan. I appreciate it. You have been and continue to be a role model for me.

Brilliant advice, It’s okay to secretly feel initially irritated 😤, however it’s it not okay to snap back. It’s always best to reach down and choose a kinder way to say what you really want.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!

This helped me so much today; yesterday, I was fretting about always feeling bossed around at work. This video elevated my understanding of using kindness as a moment by moment goal; that has real relevance and meaning. Great tool that I can use and be mindful of in the Big Picture. Thanks so much!

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

You're very welcome, S.

This channel is super helpful, because it lets you find the right words for situations in which you probably won't have the time to think about what to say or how to say it. My intuitive responses are often overly aggressive or overly polite, so having small prepared phrases like "Thanks for the tip" or "I appreciate the advice" is really useful!

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

That's the goal, Marius--I try to give you the words that will help you mindfully handle challenging situations. Not the theory--the words.

@bballforlife1231

Жыл бұрын

my guy.... I AM YOU... in a different place and a different time. Either I come of as way to strong or I am a doormat. No gray-area. work place politics does take a certain level of finesse tho. ANYWAYS THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DID/DOES YOUR BOSSY CO-WORKER DO AND WHAT DID YOU DO

Boy did I need this!! I've been struggling with a position I've been put in recently. Newest employee but the only one with actual training for the job. It's taken me a lot of work to find peace in myself and I've been struggling with how to communicate with them and not use words that come across wrongly abrasive.

Wow. Unexpected philosophical ending. I love it!👍👍👍👍👍 Not only you dissected the problem, possible solutions and which one is effective, you also gave the deeper reasoning why this problem is futile to solve in the first place! Your channel deserves 10+ million subscribers 🔥🔥🔥 Thank you for your

I love your videos so much! I struggle with sticking with assertiveness and sometimes let people walk over my boundaries

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

And when people walk all over you, it doesn't feel good. I hope this video helps you, Michelle.

Spot on ! You are such an amazing person and your advice is absolutely right. Happened to me in my job and I had to learn through experience that it is much better to keep back your nerves from exploding and deal with these type of people in a loving way. You will be saving yourself a lot of trouble later 😊 Thank you so much and keep up your amazing personality and good work xxx

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Many thanks, Romaine, and I hope you share this video :)

Your channel amazes me. You seem to know and address every problem I’ve ever dealt with in the workplace.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

I was in the workplace quite awhile before I found my way to communication training, TheClayBearTravels.

If you’re constantly professional, kind and respectful, and that is NOT working , now it’s plan B! Handle your business, and at that point do what’s best for your mental health no one else’s

@ZeroOneZero-bi1ww

Ай бұрын

I have to agree with you here. I do like his approach, but there absolutely has to be a Plan B alternative. Reason being, a coworker who is being perpetually bossy, and trying to walk all over you is most likely not going to stop doing so, until they have a reason to. So, you are going to have to find some sort of way of pushing back. Which hopefully doesn't blow up in the workplace, and negatively impact your mental well being and career trajectory etc.. Yeah.. ultimately this is the main problem that most people have. Most people who sought out this video are probably in this situation. They know deep down inside they need to do something, yet are not exactly sure what that something is.

Incredibly sound advice for EVERYONE!! A+ again Dan. Thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Many thanks, N M. Please share--with EVERYONE :)

Always valuable advice Dan. I’ve learned so much from you. Thank you ❤️

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

I appreciate your taking the time to write, Bambina. I hope you share these videos.

ALWAYS such great advice! Thank you thank you thank you!💕

You are a better man than me. I go straight to the "PISS OFF."

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe next time you won't, Earthcat. It's really not helpful in the long run--helpful for YOU.

There's nothing that you have to say that you can't say in a loving way

She called me sweetie and I hated it. Thanks to this guy, I know next time it happens, I can say "Brooke, come here a second. My name is Kitara. You don't get to improvise."

I tried this the other day, several people were bossing me, shouting at me in my face , make me carry things and run all over the place. One barked an instruction , I said " ok thanks for the tip sweetie, ill think about it " well that got my sergeant really mad and they kicked me out the army!

@TheWizardOfWords

10 ай бұрын

My father was a Marine. He would have called this a typical Army story :()

This was a great tip because my heart has been hurting by pushing an outstanding person away for being so bossy. The power of a "Than you".

Being switched on, wise and diplomatic and well presented verbally, you can always come out graciously from any situation you may choose to act not react ....so happy days. Love your videos 😉

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Coach Angela P. Wilson! Please share any of these videos you find helpful.

Thanks Dan for another great piece of advice. This really came in at the exact time I needed to hear.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful, Shashi K. G.

Great message!!! God bless you and your family. I have been loving to a long term PIA at work. When I match their soupy poopie attitude I never feel great. I always work on staying in the pocket and respond w kindness. It’s simply the way

Thank you for the wonderful advice. I am dealing with a new coworker and I found myself being rude after having to deal with him. I will definitely respond more lovingly and not let EGO get in the way. Again, thank you for this wonderful advice.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Very happy to help Otter.pro

Thanks for reminding me why I left the office a long time ago. Because I worked in the field, it was easier to avoid too much contact. And I had a great relationship with the office people in all the departments, some I had known a long time at work. Wouldn't change a thing.

This was the kind of advice I was exactly looking for. Thank you.

Your communication style is great! I love your videos. Thank you for helping us communicate more effectively. 😊

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome strangeclock :)

Thank you for this video, very informative and helpful ❤🎉

You are just so awesome! So kind…..and very enlightened 🌟

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

I try; I fail; I try again. I hope we all do.

Always so good. Thank you. I’m currently needing help to find my kind loving words as I am having vile false claims made against me. I feel slimed and so disappointed in these people and that I didn’t listen to my doubts.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

It's difficult to continue to be mindful when those around you are being spiteful. It helps to remember that how you respond is about YOU and the person you are. How they behave is about them.

I love this, I have always thought that the communication is a reflection of the person saying it. Thank you so much for these beautiful videos! I have passed them along. You may have already done a video about taking to family, (as opposed to colleagues at work) but if not, that may be another good video idea for you. I work for myself, so I do not have colleagues, but this advise is perfect for any situation. 🙏🙏🙏

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

I have a few on talking to family--especially difficult people at holiday time. You'll find them right here, on my channel :)

Thanks again for reminding me that it's always possible to be loving selfless way. I think it's appropriate in any relationship, not only between coworkers.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! Without question, prod exit.

Such great advice, and a reminder to speak living words! Can’t wait for the holiday series:)

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Coming soon, to a holiday KZread channel near you, Vic.

This was hard to hear because I want to go awfff on my bossy coworker but she is 20 years older than me and you’re right it wouldn’t serve me well. Also she embarrasses herself anyway because she’s wrong sometimes ha! I’m going to use the “I’ll take that under consideration” and “thanks for sharing” route. Help me Jesus! Whew!

Excellent advice! Thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome, K K.

Hello Dan, Great stuff - you’re the best!

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Jerzy!

love this and you and your work and contribution - subscribed

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Welcome aboard, Cosmic Sweeper, and please like and share these videos.

Everyone I work with has asked me for help at some point everyone I work with has told me what to do when to do it and how and I’ve been delighted. There’s one guy where it’s different. It’s constant it’s demanding and flat out overbearing yet we have the same position been at the job the same amount of time and when I don’t do what he wants when he wants he gets an attitude and gets more demanding. Not to mention he thinks he’s allowed to touch people whenever he wants disguised as a pat on the back or the ribs or a creepy squeeze on the arm. Seems like an entitled narcissist who tries to take ownership of people and I’m not dealing with this at work. Thanks for helping.

These days many companies has a horizontal way of leadership and sometimes these coworkers can influence a lot in your feedback be careful and be sure they can’t screw you because many can do some harm

@ZeroOneZero-bi1ww

Ай бұрын

Exactly! It is not like years ago whereby most people had a definite and defined supervisor, who solely determined his/her workplace performance review & outlooks. A lot of supervisors/ managers these days have team leads. In addition to longer term employees who are not officially in leadership roles, but in which they have a good working relationship with, and rely on for input in some way. The later type of employees can also have a negative impact on how you are seen by the supervisor and company as a whole. That is why it's a fine line to walk dealing with bossy coworkers. For your short and long term mental health sake, you don't want to let them walk all over you. Yet, you also don't want to fall into some scenario whereby they become your sworn enemies on the job as well.

Whoo whee! The bossy pants you portrayed in your first skit is the reason why I'm self employed... 😆😆 I can't with those people, so I don't... 😂😂 I love your videos! Your advice is such a huge help and blessing! Kudos and props to you and all you do! 👏👏

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Some of us work alone, kimsteel366, but so many many others can't do that, for so many many reasons :)

You are a true blessing to others and you explain things really well!!! 💯

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Bags inTheReal.

I am grateful to God for Dan and his teaching. Thanks Dan!!!

Great video! I get the idea to focus on myself.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Yep :)

I love it. Thank you!

I love the way you communicate Dan I wish I naturally spoke like you

Loving words. I need to focus on this.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

We all do, and it's not always easy.

Thanks so much for your help. I’m working with a know it all and think it’s a great idea to approach situations with love

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Chris.

Amazing Dan O Connor!

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Alicia Torres :)

Thanks.. I needed this reminder 👍🏻

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

You’re welcome 😊

Thank you for your wise and loving advise.

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome.

HELLOOOO! I am so happy that I found your channel, you're amazing!

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Tania.

You are hilarious and your lessons stick with me. Thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Pam.

Thankyou Dan!!! I will try to remember 'loving word's. It's very hard when somebody is not doing that for you ore treating you with not much respect.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

It is hard, but ultimately rewarding because you are being the person you were meant to be--kind, compassionate, and loving--and not egocentric.

@jodieiscool9351

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWordsGracias xx or in Australian..."yeh no worries thanks mate" 😂😂 (no really, you always reply to me, I appreciate it so much, thankyou Dan )

Absolutely brilliant video - very well timed. Pandemic has forced me to take team member jobs when usually i was team lead - I've heard myself slipping into auto reflex (guided suggestions to change colleagues tasking format) #SelfCringe Thankyou Dan You're amazing

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks much Pocket MinxUK.

Great video! The Holiday video sounds interesting can't wait to watch it.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Stay tuned llrga.

I love you 🙌. Thank you for this. Glad your vid is the first one that came to me to guide me. I couldn't have asked for better guidance than this.

@TheWizardOfWords

4 ай бұрын

You're so welcome, Kim.

Great advice. I was in this predicament today and I almost said thanks, but i didn't want my tone to be off so i chose to say nothing.

What great advice, thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am currently facing this and it's been a cycle which has got to stop. You got a new sibscriber

I have a young girl who was in the area I got put in charge of recently and she was coming over to inform me of things and tell us what to do. She would only be covering my days off, but she was spending her day complaining about everything to anybody who'd listen, so I sat her down with our manager present and I told her that I no longer want text messages and complaints about her, and that we are losing another employee so we need to start working as a team and I want us all on the same page. There will be no more leaving work for the next person and I know shes a better person than being the complainer constantly.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

I think you handled it well because you handled it DIRECTLY WITH HER, and your manager, rather than going behind her back and engaging in destructive gossip that wouldn't have helped her, your team or you. Kudos to you. She was doing far more than giving helpful advice; she was apparently damaging the team and the atmosphere and you put an end to that.

@ham3749

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you! Shes been way better since! Shes really a nice girl, she just needs maturity which comes with time ( hopefully lol).

I remember I was in the same situation. The two of us were the top managers and the other acted like they know it all, had a rookie manager come aboard. The rookie was trying to give us some new ideas. Well the rookie in about a year became our new boss.

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

Ouch.

@christinatocila4084

Жыл бұрын

I was happy for them. Am happy for good things that happen to good people. And they are a great boss, they have a degree in marketing management and communication and they got me to watch your KZread channel.

I agree with your approach. There are plenty of times that I've regretted what I've said in anger or irritation (believing that I had to put the person down, to "put them in their place..."), but I've NEVER regretted being gracious. "Discretion is the better part of valor." Don't let someone yank your chain! And, as the old Chinese saying reminds us, "Thy friend has a friend...and thy friend's friend has a friend...therefore, be discreet!" *Especially in the work place!!*

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Well said, RS.

Thanks. I'll try to take your advice, kind and serious advice. I ' m a new in a field, specially in communication, and had/ have hard time to adjust toward environment at work. Specially on this sbj. Thanks.

Love that. Follow-up question: If management see you thanking someone else for unsolicited advice as described in the video (but more subtle) they may assume that person is more experienced than you and consider her/him for a promotion before considering you. What is the best way to handle yourself to prevent this as you are more qualified than the other person? Comments like "let me give you some background" and "just so you know" out of no where.

@simonac4811

2 жыл бұрын

I hope nobody will hold helping and giving...

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Cyndi, hopefully management is smarter than that, and will recognize the advice for what it is--unsolicited--especially if your work doesn't reflect the advice given. And if your work does reflect the advice--you owe a debt of gratitude to the one who gave the advice to you, right? :)

@reneep4181

2 жыл бұрын

@UC5Zb02pmVD2VA7lnx8mV4gw Bossy coworkers are insecure and need to validate their existence by playing supervisor. I see no reason not to put a coworker in their place in a professional manner. There are far too many shit-starters out that should not be stroked. There is also a huge difference between offering a coworker a little help and taking it upon themselves to supervise. I direct all questions to my supervisors and not coworkers. Even if a coworker offers advice, I always check in with my supervisors because I receive my assignments directly from him. I agree that we need to watch the way we speak to people, but there are times when we also need to be firm and find a professional way to say piss off.

@redfuse8369

8 ай бұрын

​@@reneep4181I 1000% agree with this.

Thank you , I agree with you sir , i m trying my best to always give love to people no matter who they are , because l remember in a movie " peaceful warrior " that the people who are difficult to love are the ones that need it the most .that movie really touched me , and i know that we are born to love Life , people , animals plants ..... everything 💖

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely, Imene. Everything! That's the goal.

Great video!

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you oceanblue, and I hope you share it.

This video came about and I enjoyed it

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Wonderful, Ladybug.

Yeah I got one of those a few guys on my team. Been working twice as long as him, I just let him think he’s right… he’s not a bad dude, but some of the things he’s telling me is just contrary to our industry and my experience.

Hey Dan! Even though I retired from MLGW I still value your videos❣️

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Jannette! Great to hear from you. How long have you been retired??? And how are things at MLGW--one of the most fun training sessions of my LOOOOONGGG career!

Lol 😂 love the videos ! You rock

I've struggled with this. I respond graciously, but they become more insufferable; bossing me around even more often to feed their own ego.

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

Lisa, gracious is good, but you must combine it with assertiveness and the power of NO.

Such great advice, Dan!!! 🕊️🥰

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Such a good video about being gracious.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Chris.

I just started a new job and I am already receiving unsolicited advice from a co-worker about EVERYTHING I do. If I say anything and he doesn’t agree with it (which is most times) he interjects and gives his opinions as if it’s facts. My boss has witnessed this numerous times but doesn’t say anything about it and I wonder if it’s because this bossy co worker does it to him too when I am not around. There are times that I think this bossy co worker is weaponizing his tenure/expertise to shut everyone up and do what he says because he knows a lot about the work we do and everyone is pretty new to the team. I am starting to feel like this was a wrong career move. I am trying to remain professional but he is really aggravating me to the point I am mentally exhausted at the end of the day. I don’t want to work with him but I have to because of our roles. I don’t know how to tackle this. Any suggestions?

@ExoticGTRX

Жыл бұрын

Hit them with kindness and continue to do ur job the best way as possible. If he starts to complain to the manager having issues with u don't say anything and let him expose himself. If that doesn't work out, continue working until u have another job lined up

This was helpful!

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Happy to help.

Thank you this video helped me a lot I've been dealing with a bossy coworker. It will implement this I want to be a loving person

Yup this is EXACTLY how my newest co workers are at BOTH jobs I hve. They don’t go into the last part of this but they act like my boss.

Your videos have changed my professional life. Thank you so much! Please keep making them. You are amazing!

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! Will do.

The perfect example of not getting what I want but what I need

The only time I ever snapped back was when my manager kept pointing out every mistake and micromanaging my behavior when I was FIXING my mistake. Kept saying,” you don’t got it you don’t look like you got it” in a sassy and passive aggressive tone when I politely said ,” I’ll take care of this” .

I have asked bossy meddling coworkers to stay in their swim lane or, I would direct my work to them. Not sure how well this went over but I found it necessary to stop the madness.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Not a bad idea, if you're in a position to do that, Renee.

Here is an example: a more junior colleague who, when the boss is away wants to "organise" their colleagues. "Remember to file your documents here", "have you followed up on this". Not in a friendly way but in, I am the boss while thr boss is away, way..

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Yes it's true that giving orders is different from a colleague offering to "help"when you don't really need it.

Point of Experience! Saying’Thank you’ has been acting as a misinterpreted invitation for reoccurring interference. I found myself defaulting to the course of referencing the person who is monitoring my work. This technique works best in my situation. The know it all coworker is top dog in knowing how they believe things should be done ‘correctly’ - but doesn’t always match the executive director’s vision and practice. People 🤦🏻‍♀️

I wouldn’t usually suggest escalating the problem unless it’s affecting productivity or wellbeing, but sometimes it might be helpful to suggest meeting with a manager to clarify your roles. One time a friend of mine had this coworker who kept bossing her around, but it turns out that management was vague about each person’s responsibilities, which led to preventable confusion and frustration. The coworker thought she was supposed to be managing my friend, or in charge of a certain aspect of the project.

I think the thank you would satisfy lots of people and they would move along.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

That's my experience.

"If you want your experience to be a loving one. Speak loving words. All the time. You can do that. I can help." I love you Dan! The more I learn about your approach and try it out on real life, the more I'm convinced of the usefulness of this approach to communication. I'm saving up my money to buy your course.

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

Trumpstersareturds--write Jean at jean@danoconnortraining.com and she'll help you out.

Love this 💕

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

Be sure and share these videos, Ann :)

This is such great advise !!! I wish I could have seen this before ……. Ugh . I let my ego react … oh dear

you almost made me cry..... I loved it ..spread love!!!💕💞💓

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

I will spread love--and you too monicas.

Thank you Dan! I’m managing an older “nit picker” and this really helped me

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

Glad it helped!

Oh wow, you have great insight. Thank you for this. I find that I am gracious with employees and bosses, but these dotted line people drive me crazy. I will try to remember to be gracious to all. (So hard sometimes when people treat you like a novice when you have way more experience, knowledge and skills.)

@lessismore8533

7 ай бұрын

Agree it sucks

that bit of genius at the end was a pleasant surprise, i have to share this with the world they need to know

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, please do share, Amber; the world needs to know about these analogies. :) :)

this is good advice its very true

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Kathryn. I think kindness always trumps ego.

Is it bad that I want to say I love you to pieces? I wish you were my co-worker! Your energy keeps me going and your advice saves me from the HR office.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

I hope that's a good thing, DF :)

@heatherweigold1046

Жыл бұрын

How can I stop myself for b o s s y people around

Yep, love it

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, jimmshorts (interesting name :) :) )

Here's one: Many years ago I was to review a contract written by an "equivalent" co-worker. The scope of work started with "TD&I equipment and...." Being a grammar nerd I disliked the initials in the beginning of a sentence. Also, I did not know what those initials meant. I went to his cubical and asked him what TD&I means. He loudly responded "You don't know that means Tear down and inspect?" Surely, he felt as though he scored on me. I told him I did not, that is why I asked. Seconds later I WISHED WITH ALL BEING that I had said: No, I don't. My prior experience was with multi-million dollar research contracts, not small dollar repair orders, a*****e! I may never run into a situation like this again, but someone else may. What would have been a better way to handle it?

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

That wish was your ego speaking, Celeste. You responded honestly. The only thing you MIGHT have added is "Charlie, that's the problem with using initials that you don't identify. Writing out the words would remove all doubt." However, I think you handled it well, and now should let it go. If he yelled out his answer, he wanted to score, but you know you're not in a game. Let him play without you.

@celestebenson3519

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for putting this into perspective for me.

@marilynmarilyn2755

2 жыл бұрын

Acronyms are not always a good idea…good for you to ask for clarification