It is so true! I was his caregiver for 4 months i could not believe how fast it happened! I was so shocked, there was no one there for me. Everyone was mad at me, i lost him to a wicked disease. We were supposed to retire, travel, just soend all of our time together. I still cannot believe it, i lost the touch, feeling of loved back, the smile, touch, eating together, sleeping together, talking together, hugging, just hsnging out together, working together, i cannot believe it! Mentally, physically for him, WHAT A ##$%$$$ DISEASE! I AM SORRY! I AM NOT ANGRY AT HIM, I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

I cried while I listened but this video is very helpful. Thank you. I got the book.

I'm greiving now even though my husband is still alive. He was 55 yrs old when he was diagnosed with ftd and his language skill have gone down hill since. I miss our conversations and the way he used to look at me with real loving eyes. Now I'm just someone who looks after him and cares for him full time. But I do find some positives like he can sing the words to quite a lot of songs and that's where I can only communicate with him .

Thanks for this video Natali. I have been living with my wife's Younger Onset Alzheimer's for about 10 years. She just turned 61 this week. I retired early last September at the age of 61 when it became impossible to work and take care of my wife with the use of day care for adults. I moved to Canada with my wife since she is a Canadian citizen and I have dual citizenship after living in San Diego for many years. My thinking was that the public option for Long Term Care would be better in Canada. I live a day to day existence...getting through one day at a time. COVID 19 has made everything 10 times more difficult since Social Services generally available are on hold now. I think daily about how my wife is losing bits and pieces of herself. Longer periods of confusion...anger...fear...shorter periods of lucidity. We are applying for Long Term Care and I am conflicted. I want the best care for my wife...but also want to have my life back someday. I will take a look at the book you have recommended. Thanks again...

The losses don't only go one way. For my wife, she no longer complains about not driving. Her tantrums when she gets frustrated aren't as loud or as lengthy. She really has difficulty chasing me when she wants to hit me because she thinks I'm hitting her, but in reality she bumped herself on the dresser drawer. Even these "positive" losses are twinged with sadness however. It is also a reminder that her emotional energy and spark is also fading. Living with dementia is truly a walk with uncertainty. And thank you Natali for your excellent videos and untiring support to those on the front lines of caregiving for our loved ones with dementia. My the Lord prosper you in all you do.

I relate. For me the main kind of grief has been the loss of our planned retirement activities-TOGETHER. Everything we had worked hard for, sacrificed for and saved and and planned for will not happen. Our plans were not expensive but rather included the physical; bird watching, walking, hiking, spending time with our dog out-of-doors. My 78-year-old husband has so many neurological issues (neuropathy, two hammertoes and Charcot Marie Tooth Disease on top of his cognitive decline and his worsening ADHD that he is barely able to walk unless it is on a paved pathway. All he wants to do now is play on his cell phone or on his laptop. There is no interaction, no friendship, no communication or shared activities and my heart is broken.

Thank you so much. My husband was diagnosed with dementia in 2010 and I made the difficult decision to put him in a care home 2 1/2 years ago. I am learning to accept the ambiguity and the messiness of this disease however I have noticed that my husband also struggles with those same feelings. He mourns being home, going on road trips, using the computer, being able to drive etc. The unfortunate part of his mourning is his inability to deal with his grief. My validation of his losses eases his grief somewhat however the dementia seems to make his grieving more difficult. I want to thank you for your videos and sharing. I have only learned of you recently however listening to your comments explains so much of my experience to this point in time.

This came at the perfect time! I'm actually going through this currently. My grandma has been in the hospital for 5 weeks and we decided when she got worse a few days ago that it was time withdraw treatment and allow her to transition peacefully in the next few days. As her caregiver for the past 5 years, I feel like I've been grieving even before she fell ill last month. Though it will hurt when that time comes, I know that I have done what is best for her and I have grown through the caregiving journey! ❤

@Handlegrip

3 жыл бұрын

How are you doing?

Thank you so much, we’re in the moderate to sever stages of Lewy Body Dementia. I realized very early that this process was like weaving my garment of widowhood with each passing day, another thread is laid down. Your description of the ambiguity and the gradual grieving is so true. The skills of learning to live in this liminal state of being always in-between is so draining, yet there is a strength I’ve gained from the support of my few true friends. While the grief and mourning is real, we strive to enjoy each moment for whatever wonderful thing is happening - whether it’s his marveling at the beauty of a passing cloud, or laughing at his naughty jokes...I rarely mourn in front of him as he has little expressed insight now as to what’s happening to him. I’m sorry I didn’t see this before, perhaps another group will open up for me...

THANK U. DEALING WITH THIS RIGHT NOW. WITH MY 81 YEAR OLD MOTHER❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I'm really finding your videos helpful. Definitely grieving the loses these days and it helps to affirm that.

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

Sending love, Margaret.

Until I watched this video it didn't occur to me that we have been going though a long process of loss after loss over the past several years. I have been so hyper focused on her care and trying to keep myself afloat with starting a new job that requires a lot of my time and energy that it never occurred to me step back and see just how impactful this disease has been. Everyday is a new battle, cost increase, calls to insurance company, figuring out medications, seeing to it that she has food everyday, hospitals that don't do what they are suppose to do, Memory Care Center that has 2 staff member to take care of 35 people, etc, etc, etc. Today I was told I have 3 days to get her belonging out of her room as she is now in skilled nursing with rehabilitation after a fall. I have yet to even talk with her doctor and they are only focused on flipping the room for more cash. People are so cruel and heartless.

When we went through the dying phase with my wife, I was completely stoic. Probably because I'd been watching her disappear for 5 years. About 6 months after the funeral, I was hit by some crushing grief, which I still feel intermittently. I don't understand it, but I'm feeling it now. three years post passing.

I have to thank you so much all your videos have helped me I lost my mom July 14th she was in an assisted living facility and she did not have the virus she was tested however the quarantine and restrictions got to Earth and she just lost it and she start again in dimension and I knew what was happening because I've been around a lot of people with dementia and my mom's 2 sisters and I moved my mom to a board and care home which was really really good they allowed us to visit her on the patio but then she was getting worse and 2 week she went on hospice and she started declining rapidly and she stopped eating and drinking I thank God because yes she had dementir but I did not want to see her get worse with it and I know she's in heaven we then moved her from the board and care home to her sister's house with 24 hour hospice they were so wonderful every one of them my mom lasted 5 days before she passed away she was so happy she got to see like 25 people on the 5th day she was pretty much out of it and she passed away that morning I am so thankful that I was able to be with my mom in her final days and I'm so thankful she didn't have the virus but she died because of it and she had dementia and I'm thankful we didn't have to see her get worse with the dementia My mom was only 78

I really needed to hear this right now. My husband is in moderate stages, still high functioning. I’ve recently been stuck in grief and denial. The thing that I miss the most is meaningful, engaging conversations. He’s only 67, and we’re both retired and spend most our time at home together. It’s just the two of us, we did not have children and are not close with family members. He has not been diagnosed yet, and he is in denial. For me, Feeling scared, sad and lonely at times has been difficult. Thank you for this information and your sincerity, this truly helps. God Bless you 🙏🦋💖

@barrycrook5995

4 жыл бұрын

Karen, Finally, I have read about someone that has the identical situation as we have. Im just 80 with my wife at 78. We have been together 50 years and my wife was diagnosed two years ago. We were/are both involved with our companies, with only two adopted sones both now resident overseas, with very little contact, if any, and no interest in the situation/or understanding of whats involved. Like your husband, my wife refuses to discuss it, and is in the moderate stage. This developing into a situation of almost being impossible to have any time to myself, ( she relies on almost 24 hour contact and cant do or plan anything for herself). This has reached the point of never being able to make a decision, so I have had to learn never to ask a question.. The hardest part is having to accept the fact that your future has to be committed to planning and keeping them satisfied full time, with many disappointments when thungs dont work out..Frustration and depression on knowing this will play out only one way, and all we can do is to love and care for them, as I am sure they would do for us. Bless both of you.

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

Sending love, Karen! This is hard stuff, but know you are not alone.

@jannalynn1137

4 жыл бұрын

Karen, I feel for you, and you are NOT alone. Also, for you Barry. My DH is in total denial even though he has been diagnosed with mild dementia by a professional. He has gone downhill since. Part of it is a very quick temper towards me, so I have to tread very softly. It is a rough road, but I try to take it a day at a time and keep looking UP!!!

@jackiemonroe678

4 жыл бұрын

I can really identify with you! Same scenerio, except we hwve children. I have often wondered if getting a dog would help. Someone to talk to, some one to make me laugh, but on the other hand, something else to clean up after,. I would appreciate everyones feed back

@Handlegrip

3 жыл бұрын

@@jackiemonroe678 a dog may help, maybe a small garden. It can be relaxing to look at. Go to favorites places together.

I would just add my appreciation to you, Natali, for so freely sharing your understanding and advice. 🙏

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

It's my pleasure.

I am a hired caregiver and just had this conversation with my patient's wife. I personally went through this with a child with an acquired brain injury so I get how friends disappear and the loved one is gone but there is no funeral or grieving. I think my lady is now going to start going out a bit, and the doc has talked to her about meditation, but it's so hard for her, especially when he is so demanding of her. Sometimes for an external caregiver the spouse's care is equally as important as the patient.

Thank you so much 💓! Your videos are truly a life saver for me. You are a blessing and an inspiration. My husband just found out that his mother has severe dementia and I try to get him to watch your videos but he doesn't want to deal with any of the things that are happening. Do you have a video on dealing with a situation like this? I'm fighting cancer and trying to take care of my 96 year old mother. My half sister has dementia and my stepmother recently died from dementia so I'm kind of overwhelmed by everything. I almost wish I could be one of those people who doesn't care about others...not really but I think about what it would feel like to be that person and I'm glad that I can feel and love others but it's hard. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are.

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

Hi Luana, I often remind myself that the price of love is the pain that comes along with seeing those we love in pain. I wouldn't change it, but it sure does hurt sometimes. ❤

Wonderful video. So tough dealing with such a tragedy.

Grieving along the way. 💯🎯

You Have Help Me More Then You Would Every Know, Thank You Very Much.

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you. ❤

This was beautiful I will share this with my dad who is struggling with this right now.

You are wise and kind and very helpful. Thank you.

My mom is upset after my fathers death because of the frustration and the way she dealt with it with my dad and his dementia.

This is helpful. I am going on 4 years with my dad. It has affected my life tremendously in a very bad way. I will be going to counseling soon.

@DementiaCareblazers

2 жыл бұрын

I hope the counseling helps you! ❤️

You are speaking directly to me! This is my story!

Thank you. This is really timely.

Thank you for your clear messages. It helps.

This was a very helpful video. Thank you very much. 🌷

Thanks so very much!!! What would I do without you??? I have ordered the book!!!

Very good video as always

Thanks so much It really helps me

Thank you again for words of hope......I will read this book......I must join today...oh I hope it’s not too late....oh dear I just looked at the time in California...it is 10 am. I missed it.....OH NO😢😢🙏🙏🙏🌴🌴

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

It closes at 8pm California time. There's still a few hours if you want to join. Here's the link to learn more: www.careblazers.com/sales-page-ultimate-care-course-1

Thank you. I appreciate the book recommendation. It's on my kobo ereader.

@DementiaCareblazers

4 жыл бұрын

I hope you find it helpful!

Thanks!

@DementiaCareblazers

2 жыл бұрын

Always Welcome!

My father got alzheimers when i was 11 because of the chemotherapy he went through. I never knew him. When i was a baby he worked all day at school and private lessons in the afternoon. Later he developed cancer of the stomach and then alzheimer's. I am now 17 and he is in the mid to late stages. He had to leave because as a single mother, my mother couldn't take of of me, my sister and him. He visited every 2 weeks. At some point last year he was so bad we couldn't talk. He was a really smart person (he finished organic chemistry at imperial college on his own without private lessons in high school) and its sad to see him go from that person to someone who can't even listen to his favorite song(hotel california) or follow an episode of friends(not even a movie). Since I am now preparing like everyone in greece for the university entrance exams, we said final goodbyes because then I'm leaving and when I come back in 5 years, Im afraid he'll be a vegetable. Im trying to remember my dad but I can't, I have at most 5 memories of him without alzheimers(because when he came back from work i was asleep and when he had cancer, he was 24/7 in the hospital). I try to forget the present him but i dream almost every night that he is healthy and we do stuff together.

@DementiaCareblazers

Жыл бұрын

Awesome, thankyou for sharing.

Where's the video you were recommending?

He passed away in july 7 2019! Our anniversary, in july will be a year! NOW WHAT? Life goes on, but !

How do you join as stated at the end of the video? Thank you.

@DementiaCareblazers

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Amy, Here is the link for Dr. Natali's free behavior changer class: go.careblazers.com/webinar52997920

What if you are caring because financially you have no choice?

@Chahlie

3 жыл бұрын

Teri, I wonder if you could get a nursing student to help out?

My mother has dementia. She is currently in a care facility. She wants to see family but only 1person may visit her which is extremely hard right now. All she sees is a bunch of masked people.

my mothers has died of this horrible disease i feel so guilty for not visiting more she was 72 and used to be a nurse how to you cope

@roxannbowker6052

3 жыл бұрын

Vicki Your mother would never want you to hurt this way Im caring for my husband with Vascular demencia and i only get out a few hours a month and I stress and feel guilty while I’m out so I guess it’s normal to have these feelings. It’s so hard to see our loved ones disappear right in front of us Bless you with peace and love

My mom is 78 she was in an assisted living facility we took her out and put her in a board and care home the caregivers live there and there's 5 other ladies and the thing is she already started getting dementia at the other place right one the isolation started yes I blame the isolation because that's when it started and she's getting worse now she's only 97 pounds she doesn't like to eat or drink and she has congestive heart failure and dementia although she still remembers who we are she doesn't want to see anybody but her sisters or her kids or grand kids and she doesn't play her games on her phone she doesn't listen or read The Bible she's lost interest in a lot of things and is very sad because I know that's not how my mom was and we can see her outside in their patio but we cannot go in the house because of the virus and if we're gonna be right close to her we have to wear a mask