What are your tips? What was helpful for you? Do you disagree with anything? What did I miss? Please share and like if you found this helpful and would like to help others watch this video. Thank you!

@rmcd823

Жыл бұрын

Perfect description.

@michelealexander9900

Жыл бұрын

I really like pork and sauerkraut. Just made it twice for New Year's. I would love it again...Yum! Thanks

@michelealexander9900

Жыл бұрын

I love you Frédéric! You are wonderful!

The relaxed-disruption-tension-closure explanation perfectly described what my parents and husband do. I experienced it again with my mother over the holidays where we argued over a very sensitive topic for me and the next day she behaved as if nothing happened. She’s done this my entire life and I’m almost 50! This explanation just gave me the keys to the kingdom! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Yay! So happy that resonated! Yes, once we can put words to it, the spells lose their power as we can explain the danger and map out what’s happening. Then we can notice they wait for sensitive topics or approach sensitive topics in order to create this tension. I’ve seen it time and time again - and they are always comfortable with our discomfort. We try to explain it to them assuming they’ll care, and do something. They do care, but we’re basically telling them « it’s working, keep doing this. » Very cool to read you found this helpful :-)

This is a perfect example why we need to master our emotions, otherwise we’ll fall prey to narcs and psychopaths again and again! As an empath, I always feel handicapped by my emotions and suffer at the hands of bad people, now I take responsibility to build myself and master my emotions and let go of fear! We need to let go of fears, especially dont show it to people bcz they take advantage of it. My innocent simple heart only wanted love and peace from a person, but it’s like I have to win a battle of emotions first to protect myself! This is why as kids, we need loads of love, assurance and safety, otherwise we keep begging people to love us in adulthood at the cost of sacrificing our self worth and respect.

Wow!! This is just beautiful. I’d like to meditate on this for a bit and here it a few more times…I feel like you have just handed me a quiver completely full of arrows when all I had was a bow

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Anonymously, I'm so pleased to read that - it's great to see this filter resonate with others. There is more to explore on how to use it, and it's perfect you feel these tools might serve. Be careful when implementing, test and observe. The clearer you see, the better it is. Go you!

Content is a plenty on the web, but you make a difference. The warmth and depth in your voice connects immediately. The connection, the impression is instant and powerful. You explain with diagrams which is easier on brain to understand than with mere words. Thank you for putting this which is super helpful to many out there. 🙏

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Dear Vaij, thank you so much for your kind words! I'm very happy to read some people find this helpful, some ideas helped me a lot and I aim to share with my personal touch, sometimes combining ideas, or just applying ideas in this sector. And yes, I find diagrams also help me think more clearly, hopefully people are picking up on this and using it. Just talking runs the risk of lacking clarity and structure. Thanks for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate it!

You’ve done it again. This is the brilliant niche you’ve discovered in all the talk about Narcissistic Abuse is the calculations involved in playing the games. All of this is thoroughly exhausting to the empath/codependent. The question is what do we victims get out of the game? Why do we keep playing it? What’s the payoff? Yes - trauma bonding but what is the reward? I’d love for you to show this in a similar way.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Tim! Yes, pieces falling into place and the game filter (Eric Berne) works nicely - and I keep realising how much deeper we can go with it (for the next videos ;-) ). Exhausting but… don’t we correlate « how much I suffer for you » with « how much I care about you »? Isn’t suffering for others, « taking their pain » viewed as a virtue, even encouraged? I’ll dig into this in a future video, thanks for the suggestion, quite brilliant!

@timlaw1452

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson Just had a ps to the suggestion…I looked up “Game theory and Narcissistic Personality Disorder” on KZread and found only one video done five years ago. Perhaps I’m to enthusiastic (Enfp so not surprising) but this could be a rich vein to explore. I see a book in this Fredrick. 😺

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

@@timlaw1452 Thank you! Yes, I'm sure there's an angle, I'm toying with the idea actually - so good to know it resonates with someone else ;-)

@nancyparker8363

Жыл бұрын

I grew up with a parent narcissist. When I was younger, meeting one to date felt familiar, like family.

I worked in a Montessori school. When the noise level became loud, the teacher would lower her voice. The kids had to lower theirs, and strain a bit to hear her. Although it didn't work every time, I was surprised to see that it did many times. I since have used it on person to person discussions. If the other person raises her voice ( can be a political conversation, a disagreement with your couple ...) I gradually lower mine while asking them not to raise their voice. It's worked many times for me.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

That is brilliant Maite! Yes, indeed, by NOT engaging in the tension, we can reduce the conflict. I remember seeing Joe Rogan with Dyson (who interrupted all the time) simply control his breathing to stay in control and stay calm. Acting as though there is no conflict signals there isn't any... This works with healthy people. Toxic people will try to game this and provoke us. Thanks for sharing!

@maiteblanc6258

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson yes, it doesn't work with toxic people which also works as a test itself.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly, spot on. They don't aspire to being Relaxed, they aspire to extracting energy from us.

@maiteblanc6258

2 жыл бұрын

@@charliesmith_ thank you for your nice comment!

The clown emojis are cracking me up. I appreciate your strategy and demeanor. This channel is set apart from the others of similar topic. Very practical and not over emotional or pandering. Thank you!

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Liza! Yes, these are a bunch of clowns. It would be hilarious, if it wasn't so terribly painful, on the moment. Happy you enjoy the approach. Indeed, emoting and pandering just keeps people stuck. Good for views and selling stagnation, but bad for karma and viewers ;-) Thanks for your comment and support! :-)

Oh I forgot to say the disruption/closure discussion was very helpful!

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Excellent, pleased to read that. Yes, it actually surprised me. I find the best models help us see more clearly and discover more as we test them.

THANK YOU🙏 SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING THIS I JUST RECENTLY STARTED LISTENING TO UR VIDEOS THEY ARE SO INCREDIBLY HELPFUL.I AM SEVERELY TRAUMA BONDED. WITH AN OVERT MALIGNANT NARCISSISTS. MY TRIGGERS POINTS ARE ANXIETY. THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE.. THE NARCISSISTS KNOWS THIS HE HAS USED THE SILENT TREATMENT HE WOULD GO MONTHS AND YEARS NOT SPEAKING TO ME. THIS BROKE ME DOWN IM STRUGGLING TRYING TO DISCONNECT FROM THIS PERSON...

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Demi for your comment. I’ve found the technique in the following video is effective in breaking the bond: kzread.info/dash/bejne/jIh8k66KadHOYLA.html I really hope you find some helpful content in my videos and elsewhere. Remember also that the reframe of “psychopath / vampire” can be helpful - and both predict, to some extent, what we can expect.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

And you might find this weird technique helpful too: How to cut off emotional bonds with a narcissist kzread.info/dash/bejne/qpOfzM6kiseflto.html

@demigaines5644

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson THANK U SO VERY MUCH FOR RESPONDING I AM MASSIVELY IN DENIAL I WILL WATCH UR VIDEOS..IM TRYING TO BREAK .MY TRAUMA BONDING...

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Here’s a trick: choose if you break it or if you don’t. Don’t try, choose. You’ve got this, if you choose ;) 💪🏼

@demigaines5644

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson THANK YOU 🙏SO VERY MUCH

Such an excellent video. I can't wait for the next part

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Gloria! It's an interesting angle, I kept getting more ideas and the comments here are excellent!

I have a life situation where I cannot leave the manipulator. I take care of my Mom, none of my other siblings can help and she is the root and reason of my pain. She is BPD manic depressive. The tools you have given in this video and others that worked are ignoring and when confronting ask about her motives. Asking about her motives for her manipulation and gaslighting shuts her down and she emotionally short circuits and stops her behavior. These two tactics are most helpful for me.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Kelly! Happy to read that you have tactics that work. Tough situations when it is family - and when others play the "sorry I can't" card. Yes, I've found directly addressing the minute details of the behaviour shuts them down and reduces damage. This is helpful when we can't leave, don't want to or are not ready to. Sometimes it just makes the situation more manageable, and that's already an improvement. Thanks for sharing!

This is very thorough and I appreciate the tips on how to handle these situations. In the past my mom would for the most part give me the silent treatment. However, on my birthday she would approach as if to say something nice or just happy birthday and hand me a card (rarely a hug or kiss-only once in my life did she do this) but instead would provoke me and I would leave upset. I’m much better at handling this as an adult but as a younger person once I saw the pattern I would make myself scarce. She would only do this in the morning as she knew I’d be upset all day. If she missed me in the morning she didn’t bother in the evening. My siblings are the same but I’ve learnt how to grey rock or as you mentioned, let them know under what terms there can be communication. They still try to provoke though and I stay neutral.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Oh that really sucks. It seems like it was timed for maximum impact and also toying with expectations of "something nice on your birthday" 😕 I've found that addressing their timing can be the most effective strategy, if it's safe. It's worked for me multiple times: addressing the elephant in the room and refusing to budge from neutral until there actually is closure. Not let them pretend all is ok... Thanks for sharing Clary!

@Clary_Sage

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson That’s exactly what it was, toying with me. I did learn how to get round it but it wasn’t great. I tried to talk about it with her but she denied what I said I experienced. My family are not big on closure-never experienced this with them. They go from one toxic situation to another as if what went before didn’t happen or matter. This was one of the many ways I realized they were unhealthy. I trained myself to have no expectations that they will do right or admit when they do wrong. It’s easier that way-they can’t change.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Indeed, it isn't great when we realise that someone we thing we should be able to trust is actually abusing that trust :-/ Indeed, no closure families are not healthy, and don't treat people to approach closure and even conflict / tension constructively. That amnesia is awful and we're taught to "play along or else there will be greater tension". Accepting reality, however how disappointing, is a key to help us move forward - and build a more beautiful (and healthy) future. I wish this occurs for you! Take care Clary.

@Clary_Sage

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson Thank you, Frederick-I’m working towards that.🙂

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

@@Clary_Sage Great! Remember it’s a process. Try tracking progress, identify what helps and what doesn’t, and beware of too much coddling from “experts” - not everyone wants people to move on and heal ;)

I was rudely interrupted listening to this when it was released so I’m back to continue. Validating is the first reaction. It’s a thing 😊, ‘The tension from nowhere’ ( I didn’t really have a description for what was happening, wood for the trees 🤷‍♀️, it’s all so unnecessary) . I’m not mad. Now I can digest the the information. Thank you Fredrick 💕. Wonderful.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Dotty for your kind comment! Yes, when we’re caught in the storm, it can be hard to see. And when we learn to look out for it, it’s easier to see it’s a storm in a teacup. Happy you found this helpful! :)

This is what I've been looking for thank you.

I believe he may be fearful of my 21 month-old 100 lb. German Shepherd who is highly protective & extremely bonded to me alone. I brought him home at 11 weeks of age. Though I don't believe my dog would want to hurt anyone, most people keep their distance...

Thank you so very much for charing your knowledge. ❤

Dr Ribersson, I so appreciate your calm, & reasonable explanations, & Diagrams (I’m very visual). I have listened to at least One knowledgeable Life Coach, yet her disposition was so Harsh, that I didn’t feel to trust her. I am non-confrontational, & I need to Learn to Deal w/Conflict in a Rational way, to Diffuse future tension, & hopefully, be an example of: Peace, love, & Charity to the Narcissist, & especially, the Children that have been, & are in the process of Brainwashing. Thanks, kindly! 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Janice for your kind words, very happy to read that this approach works for you. Yes, some people in the space are harsh and even angry. For people such as myself, grounding in logic and clarity is the way forward, when it makes sense and I'm on solid footing, it's a game changer - so I guess it is for others. And yes, deal with conflict AND recognise when conflict is used to trigger or manipulate in an inauthentic way (ie hijack human reactions).

This is easily the best video I’ve ever seen, on the topic! And I’ve watched a ton of them! It’s certainly not easy to interrupt a reactionary response. That takes work, but here is the concise road map.

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Wow, thank you! I do try to do something different and relevant, so happy that it seems to resonate and be helpful! Doing these videos also helps me articulate thoughts more clearly.

Perfect explanation, thank you for this. I see now what I have dealing with a, narc-vampire. Game on!

@fribersson

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for the kind words! And funny you should mention vampires - I did a video about that :) kzread.info/dash/bejne/qKiT27KMmMSvqbA.html

Just discovered your channel and I’m binge watching. I really want to point something out. Apologising is something that they want from you because it’s their gateway to continue sh*ting on you. You should never apologise for a narc they really interpret it in their twisted ways. You should never be apologetic when it comes to your boundaries and protecting yourself. They can go soak up in their misery. I always give the closer to myself thus they don’t deserve a chance of reconciliation. Because they proved themselves unworthy. They aren’t healthy to hold a constructive conversation. It’s best to move on with your dignity in check because they more they see you trying the more they think you are desperate and weak. And they feed off this attention. They don’t love you that is why there is no respect. It’s all a twisted narrative of their toxic nature. It’s sad. But don’t feel sorry for them. Keep your distance. Keep your sanity.

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Oh awesome, welcome, really happy you're finding this helpful!!

This is original, beautiful and powerful. Thank you.

Frederick, This the best video I have found on this subject. Bookmarked for future repeat viewings. Thank you.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Stovie, that’s one of the best messages I could receive! If it’s worth viewing again, I did something right. Thank you!

Genius! A million thanks!

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! :)

Very well explained

@fribersson

10 ай бұрын

Thank you!

Thank you for giving me a formula to enable me to kind of reverse engineer how to approach my mum

@LeethL

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for recognising me. I am in the process of connecting with a trauma therapist. I have engaged in AOD therapy for 2 different times over the past 25 years and also attended and successfully completed rehab. I could only laugh at myself when I realised I was looking for answers in the wrong 'type' of therapy. I am in Australia and am on the disability pension which keeps finances quite tight, which can be frustrating at times because of the lengthy process of accessing government provided services compared to the private sector. I am so thankful to be able to access these things, I am not complaining, it has been a long time that's all. My biggest concern is what if it is me that is the narcissist. I am 42 years old and still struggle so much with extreme sadness, it is embarassing, I have come out of a huge period of not crying and something happened and my dog passed away about 2 months ago and he was my safety. As a companion ( I seem to only attract the wrong people) and he had the best sense of humour. Sorry, I am babbling . My question is, how do I find out if it is me? Am I the toxic one in my life?

Hey Fred, love the channel. Your tone is fabulous. Wanted to say I think the mic and processing you use for this video is the best I have heard on your channel. Makes the consonants much more audible. Keep up the great work, sir.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Brian for the kind words and the encouragement! Excellent, good to know, there's often some room for improvement, however I think it's pretty good now, at least not a distraction. Thanks for letting me know, much appreciated!

Oh wow!!!!! I know this....it's almost empowering now. I realized I needed to raise the value of who I am in my own mind, and suddenly I saw the other follow suit....weird. thank you for this!!!!!

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

You’re welcome Amanda, thank you for your comment! Yes, it starts often with how we value ourselves and how we want to live. Do we really want to be someone’s punching bag? Do we even believe we deserve better? We can control ourselves, controlling others is… manipulation. And when we change, the world around us changes. Not a bad way to live. Really happy you enjoyed this video!

Your content is absolutely brilliant and informative thank you 🙏

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Leila for your kind words! :-)

@pinklotus4449

Жыл бұрын

@@fribersson you are very welcome :) As a psych student and a survivor myself i feel your knowledge and approach deserves so much positive recognition. Very nuanced to what’s out there already.

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! Great to read you're studying psychology, you'll probably recognise many of the models I use. If I may suggest, keep eyes open for business / economics, many of their models are helpful and, when applied by psychologists, it can really help think more clearly (it's largely what I do here). Looking forward to more exchanges if you feel like it!

Yesterday he left @ 9:30am. He ALWAYS TURNS EVERY SINGLE LIGHT IN HOUSE OFF. I no longer bring it up. Simply turn them back on... Conversely, he arrives home later two evenings per week. I turn off all the lights ahead of his arrival. Merely a message that it's nighttime. Time for me to relax & be left alone. Subliminal!

Excellent!

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Do the dynamics make more sense now? :)

@lodixe5947

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson they do!! Im taking the "no reaction" train a partir de maintenant 👌🏻😁

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Nice, breaking the game 👍🏼 It’s called a « pattern disrupt » ;)

Great advice

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Lisa, happy you found it helpful!

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Oh my, just saw the very kind gift, thank you!!! The app on the iPad doesn't show this (...), but I see it on the computer. THANK YOU!!!

@LisaScher4u

Жыл бұрын

@@fribersson Thank you for your insightful content.

Several Years Ago I Saw This Game When We Are In Same Car. He Could Not Behave For Even The Shortest Trip To Town. I Decided To NEVER BE IN SAME VEHICLE WITH HIM AGAIN. EVER!

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Typical - they love creating a fuss. It's horrible, until you see what they're doing...

Leave. Move on and plant yourself somewhere else. We are not trees.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

When possible, when we're ready, yes, playing the L move is ultimately what is right. And getting to L, being ready to play it requires being able to realise it IS an option. Thanks for sharing! :-)

I plotted the diurnal (daily) or weekly cycle of arguments initiated by my ex and found that she preferred to start an argument when I was leaving the house for work and I was in danger of running late. One memorable time was when I was leaving in the morning for a job interview. She timed the circular arguments that never had any closure to the times when she could cause the most emotional damage to me.

disruption came either from the narc or from me when I confronted them on something they did for instance, cheating and lying/ deceitful actions. Wow the truth about the disruption with no closure. I was just an easy trigger point >.> Hoping I can heal all these wounds

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Indeed, disruption can happen and we can discuss if it’s reasonable, or not. Either way, how is tension handled? Without closure, it’s just latent tension, and they thrive on this, and we can never truly relax… (Hm, just realised something, thank you!). Yes, all these wounds can be healed, there may be scars, but they can heal. It’s usually easier with help - and if we monitor progress and track what works, and what doesn’t.

Narc has used my young German Shepherd as a point of reference to upset me. "He stinks; needs a bath; has fleas; his collar is too small..." On & on. I learned months ago to ignore all these remarks.

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Wise. It's just noise. Sometimes it's funny to state: "Oh, I know you like to complain. If I did what you asked, you wouldn't have anything to complain about anymore. So I leave it and you get to be so happy." NOT suggesting you use this, simply it is amusing to imagine :)

@arashigumdrop

Жыл бұрын

@@fribersson Oh, I Just Might Try It And Hear What Happens As I Walk Away...

I do not disagree with anything you have said although it seems like quite a lot of work just to be with someone that is so disordered within their own nasty energy. Their bad vibes get on you and you have to stifle yourself just to get along with them at all ie, all the D's and C's. Who needs it! They aren't worth it.. Any of it! Great info! 😉🤡

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

It is, why stay with them. The best way is to leave - but for that we need to see leaving as an option and that starts with "stop playing". Step by step!

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

@Ima Wake Precisely. I realise I could have made that clear: move towards the exit. Sometimes it takes time to realise that exiting might be the best possible outcome. Thanks for pointing that out Ima! Food for thought for a next video 👍🏼

An important thing ive realised while everyone is saying to leave, is that they think this ends when i go. Not only is the trauma still there but so are other narcessists in the world. I have to learn all this or i will just let another one in.

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Indeed. On the one hand, we stop the source of the poison. On the other, we remove the lingering poison. And finally, we make sure that it’s harder to get poisoned in the future. All three are important. And sometimes understanding why we’re getting poisoned now (dodgy ideas), makes it easier to stop the poison. And we must also realise what actually is poison (bad ideas, ideologies, shame, blame, etc).

👏👌

do what doctor sam says, the reverse of their cycle, what we need to do is, discard, devalue, love bomb. BYE

I wonder if this applies. I caught him having coffee with a “friend” I acted neutral he was agitated. Later that night I was neutral and having fun he was agitated. Then he tried explaining the relationship. I said “oh? Ok” Still having fun until he finally relaxed. I wonder if me not being jealous triggered him or if it was because he felt guilty. Can’t put my finger on it.

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Impossible to tell from the outside. Guilt about having coffee because of something? Guilt of not telling even though there's nothing? Past bad experiences with unreasonable / jealous people? Really, impossible to tell - so sometimes good to examine all possibilities (there are not many) and look for patterns with other things. Hope this is helpful (and sorry for belated reply!).

It’s interesting to see that no matter what position you take in this game, the narcissist will always play as a toddler. They may shift between Parent and Child in Berne’s dynamic, but will always do so with toddler motivations and will never play as the adult. If you deny a toddler the results they want, they tantrum. If you continue to deny, they will escalate to the point where the tantrum produces a result. If the toddler’s demands are forever unsatisfied, they require an extinction event. They need to blow out all the tension-energy (as you describe it) and experience futility before they can transition to a relaxed state. This is also the narcissist. They may tantrum as the vulnerable or willful child or they may tantrum as the judgmental, controlling Parent, but it is a tension bid to bend the will of the opponent. You cannot abandon a toddler to their tension. That is cruel because they’re vulnerable, dependent, and they’re learning. You have an obligation to a toddler in your care. The narcissist’s toddler behavior seems to invoke the same obligation in many cases- we feel like they’re vulnerable, dependent, and we feel the obligation to fill the role of teacher as we do with the toddler. Perhaps identifying the Parent instinct would help us shift to a calm-assertive, accountable adult stance in the game more easily. It’s frightening to leave a narcissist to handle their tension on their own, yet this is the only way to separate and escape the matrix of their toxic engulfment. They aren’t adults, yet we must abandon them to manage as if they were. Thank you for the emphasis on safety. Basically, we need to be very careful in our preparation for the narcissist’s escalation of tension and eventual extinction event, as with a toddler, except instead of ensuring the narcissist’s safety, we must insure our own as well as possible.

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Eponymous, thanks for the brilliant comment. Yes, it's exactly this: they shift between toddler and parent, when it suits them, but it's all a game. Yes, we're programmed to keep toddlers safe (I can't leave them, they need me, maybe I can save them), but if we just view them as adults in diapers, that's more appropriate - and the game they play appears even more perverted. Yes, we must break their game for us to be able to escape their game. And indeed, overgrown infants can break many, many things. We must be careful!

@eponymoususer8923

2 жыл бұрын

@@fribersson I didn’t factor perversion into it, but that’s what it is in the truest sense of the word. I truly feel for people who are stuck like that. It’s got to be miserable. It’s taken a long time for me to discover that it’s not any adult’s responsibility to resolve other adults’ misery. Even if the misery is the first adult’s fault, they can at best try to provide restitution for their bad actions… but they can never resolve the misery for them.

@arashigumdrop

Жыл бұрын

"...yet this is the only way to separate & escape the matrix of their toxic engulfment." Very Well Defined & Keen Analysis... Thank you ☺️

Odd question here, but is it possible to "win" the game by triangulating (or reverse triangulating, I suppose) a narcissist?

@fribersson

Жыл бұрын

Interesting question: what do you have in mind? The only way I imagine “winning the game” is “playing to lose and letting them win”. But for healthy people to play along, we still need to believe in the illusion a bit, otherwise… what’s the point? If that makes sense? :)

@onshiplessoceans1675

Жыл бұрын

@@fribersson I'm thinking of a scenario in my family. My wife and I are closely aligned and well coordinated in dealing with my covert/vulnerable narcissistic mother, who alternates between long periods of silent treatment and occasional brief angry attacks in which she blames us for the lack of contact. Unfortunately my wife's disability keeps her from working, and my mother's inherited wealth puts her in a position to help. Plus, she (NM) has already given hundreds of thousands of dollars more to my sister, after promising to always give equally and fairly. Now NM has threatened to cut off her tiny fractional monthly checks. Bottom line: it's over. Too much damage done after a lifetime of abuse. We're ready to find our way without her. But it's still worth messing with her a little bit to see if she'll keep up the checks a while longer, while I hunt for a better paid job. Hence the triangulation idea. Same scenario as the video, but with two players opposite (or triangulating) the narcissist.

Is saying sorry implying you did something wrong?

@fribersson

2 жыл бұрын

Great question: not at all, that’s a common misunderstanding. If someone watched my videos and believes I’m telling people to eat hedgehogs, I will be sorry they understand this and also confused how they could possibly understand this. I’d be sorry about the situation and happy to apologise to people (and hedgehogs) if I did make confusing statements. However, I’d need to see some credible evidence that I did something wrong before I can apologise for what I did wrong. Two levels of apologising. If that makes sense?

?Ř????ϻ

plz change your mic your voice is just😵‍💫😣😖🤯🤯🤯🤯🤕

@fribersson

9 ай бұрын

?