“Don’t think less of yourself- think of yourself less.”

@anonymouse7773

Жыл бұрын

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

@Drew_Hurst

Жыл бұрын

Wise words. Love is the key We are One

I have two rules: 1).Open my mouth and 2). Say yes. I have always been a shy person with few friends. I married another person who didn't socialize much. She died a year and a half ago and I found myself really lonely. I said "this has got to change!" I found a hiking group and started talking to people. I didn't wait for them to start the conversation - I was amazed how happy people ae o talk! I started asking people to lunch. And when someone suggests something new and out of my comfort zone to me, instead of saying no, I say yes! I was actually busier hiking and having lunch with friends during Covid than I had been in my entire life! When I look at all of the lovely friends I have now I'm amazed. Is this me? Did I really do this? I feel so much gratitude for my new friends and my new life!

@margaretImhappy

Жыл бұрын

Wonderful! I had almost the same experience meeting hiking friends in 2020, getting out of my comfort zone and these past 2 years I’ve had some amazing experiences!

@jamesmolloy6328

Жыл бұрын

@@margaretImhappy Great to hear it!!!

@theupwardspiral1580

Жыл бұрын

I'm so proud of both you! That took so much guts to do. And I'm so thankful you shared so myself and others can be inspired to be brave as well! Thank you! ❤️❤️

I have been isolating since my son died in a tragic accident that also killed his wife and my granddaughter four years ago. It got worse during Covid. I’ve been getting counseling and psychiatric help intensively for about five months now. I’m planning to go to Texas from SoCal in 3 weeks and my anxiety is really trying to keep me down. This trip is for my oldest son and daughter-in-law’s baby shower. I believe it will be so important for me to be surrounded by family and to help my new grandson’s parents( their first baby) to be prepared for their new baby coming into the world. I’ve had six kids. Being there for them at the shower is such an amazing blessing. I would truly appreciate any prayers or words of wisdom and encouragement. I plan on going back in July when my grandson is born for a lengthier stay to help with the baby and my son and daughter-in-law with those first couple of weeks of settling in to being new parents. I’m so blessed that they want me to be there for this most beautiful event!!! Thanks for letting me share this with you…

@Kelly-nb2hr

2 жыл бұрын

Awww…my heart goes out to you. I have no words of advice. I think any time a person opens their heart and shares their story, it is a blessing that should be appreciated. I’ll pray for you and your family. Wishing and praying for a happy family reunion❤️🙏

@geevindihewavitharane8652

2 жыл бұрын

Wow its so cool that you shared it here . Wish you nothing but all the good fortune in the coming days . Im sure that things are going to be fine. Sending love and light.

@AngelBien

2 жыл бұрын

Sandy! What a beautiful legacy you have of 6 children and more grandchildren! Bless you for going to the baby shower, I'll keep you in my prayers as much as I can. You're grandchildren are a wonderful blessing to this world, a much needed bright light. I'll pray for your healing and a joyous life for your family.

@leondevries478

2 жыл бұрын

Dear Sandy, keep the one’s who have been passed in your heart and keep the living one’s in your life ♥️, best to you from the Netherlands

@scottbartel8163

2 жыл бұрын

Hello thankyou for having the strength to tell your story. There is a great deal of tragedy and sadness in your story. Your story is also amazingly inspiring the courage you have to confront the anxiety and travel to support your family is nothing short of a miracle. You are a miracle. You have a tremendous amount of good in you and will be a blessing to your family as you give them the gift of your compassion kindness and experience. I feel love in my heart for you and know that during this journey you will spread strength and gain strength. All the best to you and your family

I don't know why I love this ladies voice. Strong mom energy. Also I love being alone. It's very fun.

It is far more lonely to have people around you and you try to connect with them but they're too different and they're not curious about you and their values are too different, almost suffocating. Sometimes individualism can be extremely helpful. Conformity doesn't do anyone good (Not that you're saying that it does, but i'm just adding to the theme of the video). Real connection, i believe comes when we care also about ourselves and respect ourselves and our identity; AND we do the same for others and they do the same for us. Balance. Growth. Respecting each other's INDIVIDUAL identities. Understanding different perspectives rather than continuosly demand that the other conforms to even the most mundane lifestyle choices, which shocking is extremely common in eastern cultures- at least south asia where i am from.

@ahmedabdalla8524

2 жыл бұрын

I felt this viscerally.

@nanelisekerim

2 жыл бұрын

I was looking through the comments to see if anyone brought this up. Also coming from a more eastern-minded culture and personally being more on the introverted-side of the spectrum, I totally feel this too. Collective cultures unfortunately aren't necessarily "better" than more individualistic cultures. The advice in the video, although coming from a good-intentioned-perspective, looks at both cultures quite simplistically.

@Ayesha_F

2 жыл бұрын

@@nanelisekerim Always glad to know I'm not alone. I also looked through comments to see if it was brought up, and upon not finding any such comment, i wrote this one. I guess those people in the west (and the few in east) who have a loving and empathetic family background where there are also appropriate BOUNDARIES between family members, are likely to relate and benefit more from the adivice in the video. It's indeed well intentioned but just misses something very obvious. Humans certainly do well in communities but only if they are healthy. For self reliance and contentment it is imperative the we encourage ourselves to get comfortable with solitude and even the discomfort of boredom. To depend on others for emotional fulfillment is not a good strategy. I don't even think it leads to healthy connections- those are forged when we're first ok with our own company, can soothe ourselves and understand our own selves.

@ivylilybasket

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I was always a person who tried to fix my self-esteem by helping others, prove myself if I'm useful to someone else then my life has a point, etc. What did it lead to? Everyone took me for granted, exploited me, treated me as a path of least resistance to get what they wanted. Instead of learning to "be there for other people" I had to learn to build walls to serve as my boundaries, because if they were flexible, everyone would keep stretching them and trampling over them. It's really hard to live in one of the countries where "family is the most important" and then have that family to treat you as their property or free servant and guilt trip you every time you want to tell them no. I'm originally from Eastern Europe and while it's not as strict as some Asian countries, the "American individualism" taught me new perspectives like: you have the right to be yourself instead of "performing the role" the family expects of you. You have the right to cut contact with people who are ungrateful, manipulative, take you for granted, constantly try to use you for their own gain shamelessly. You have the right to pursue your goals and dreams even if your family think they're pointless, shameful, stupid, strange.

I apologize, I have been disowned by my family, and with the covid issue, I stay home with my Dog alone. I have had to adapt having depression. I found out that it is important to have goals. When you achieve a goal, make a bigger one. Your mind needs something to look forward too, to keep moving ahead. I am 67 and I have goals for health, career and love. My life is awesome, and I have a reason to get up in the morning. I have dealt with severe depression, and I am happy now. Thank you for your videos.

@Mrsakris

2 жыл бұрын

IMO, you have nothing to apologize for. You’ve discovered what works for you. Soooooo many people want a reason to wake up in the morning. You’ve found that. Only question a piece of your life if it’s not working. No need to change what’s working.

@street1205

2 жыл бұрын

Why did you apologize?

@darykinnaman2319

2 жыл бұрын

@@street1205 - Because she wants us to interact with people and I don't.

@darykinnaman2319

2 жыл бұрын

@Evan Hodge - You caught that. 🙂

@darykinnaman2319

2 жыл бұрын

@@Mrsakris - I am not done, the best is yet to come. I found I have a talent!

I was feeling really overwhelmed with emotional baggage today and I decided to help my elderly father (86) have a nice pleasant shower and washed his hair, he was so delighted afterwards, it sure made me feel really good in myself so yes Emma what you say about helping other people really does work, thanks again 💗💜💗

@chessdad182

2 жыл бұрын

That was very nice.

@sandybowers5085

2 жыл бұрын

What a beautiful act of love❣️I truly believe that love is a verb! You are an amazing son to your father!!!

@sandybowers5085

2 жыл бұрын

Getting out of our own pain to serve others is, imho, where true joy lives and breathes❣️I’m working on this! Thank you so much for sharing this example of what heals us and serves our loved ones ❣️❣️❣️

"The most miserable people are those who care ONLY about themselves, understand ONLY their own troubles and see ONLY their own perspective" - Gordon B. Hinckley

@eleanor4759

2 жыл бұрын

Very very true.

@lorrainemunnelly2232

2 жыл бұрын

This hit home 😔 thank you for sharing 🌻

@adelightfulllife

2 жыл бұрын

Amen 🙏

@sandybowers5085

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing this❤️ So very true.

@iloveyellow7214

2 жыл бұрын

This is beautiful thanks for sharing 😘

What helps me is attending church weekly and going out to eat with some of my church friends after service.

My friend, who suffered from social phobia, catastrophising, negative self talk, low self esteem and loneliness, received advice along these lines from a therapist. In spite of all the difficulties he had, he tried really hard to get better. He did go volunteering, he did go out more with “friends”, etc., but in the end, it didn’t change anything about the self-deprecating inner monologue and loneliness, so he hung himself. It’s been six years, and I still haven’t gotten over it.

In US, we emphasis on “ be yourself, stand out, be different”. In Asia, the emphasis is on “ team work, group harmony, peace” very different perspectives. However, I think lately, the western perspective is effecting the younger folks in the east. You are absolutely right.

@heyu123

2 жыл бұрын

I reckon it’s social media/ influencers that influence them with their mental health talks etc as well

I work retail, when I am helping customers it takes my mind off of me and how crappy / sad I feel. The more I help customers and their issues, I do start to feel better. I work in a hardware store. Thank you,

@nadirabotwin7435

2 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing this!! Very inspiring. 💖💖💖

for me the biggest improvment in my mental health came after I scedualed a day where I messaged people that I care about, asking them about their life and catching up 😊 Im am introvert with asperger and I dont have that natural desire to conect with people, but when I contact people I can see that it makes them happy so last year I decited to sit down once a month and message people that mean allot to me. The difference in my life quality was astonishing! I felt happier knowing that I made other people happy by reaching out to them and showing interest in their life really boosted my sence of place in this world ☺️

I have some trouble with this admittedly, I feel that it is very important to learn how to be happy while alone but I am also trying to seek out more opportunities to be around people. As someone who often tends to be alone (and someone who is quite introverted in general) it's a difficult balance to strike. But I think I'm making progress! Life's a journey, I don't expect to figure everything out instantly, I'll just try to make the little steps each day.

@calmnights_artandsounds

2 жыл бұрын

I'm the same, I've been isolating myself for the past 5 years and have become so comfortable being alone that I'm afraid to go back out there again. I think you're right with the little steps each day as I always get overwhelmed thinking too much about the future.

@homehelpheart7440

Жыл бұрын

I've said many times that I think every adult should live by themselves for at least a year at some point in their life, earlier the better. I've known too many people who can't cope with life on their own. And I don't mean severe depression or anything, I just mean they have to be doing something or talking to somebody or whatever all the time. They can't just sit with themselves. Living alone definitely helps with all of that!

"Selfless" in a way that is crushing, puttung themselves down, always submitting, stuffing their own thoughts/needs/desires. I'm currently working on all of this right now.

I find happiness in the work I do, the art I create, the art others create, the things people like you teach and that in return I can teach to others, the stories and meals we share with each other, the beautiful nature I get to enjoy daily and so much more. I love making other people happier, even just a little bit. I find a lot of your lessons I have been following without even noticing and I was questioning myself often whether I was doing the right thing. Thank you for confirming that the path I have chosen is indeed the right one. I feel nothing but gratitude for the things I have and curiosity and excitement for the things I am about to explore. I feel love and loved and I may not feel happy every waking moment but I have found peace in my heart that leads me to a happier life. Love to you all

@EricAKATheBelgianGuy

2 жыл бұрын

For me, being able to go to work in person was really refreshing - let's just say I work with the public and we stayed open. But to be honest, I liked it better that way. I was able to focus better, because I had to work toward something. It gave me something to do, and allowed me an escape from the crap of the world. So, as well-meaning as people are, I'm not as patient with those who want to feel bad for me. I'm not struggling, and I'm going to keep working, because I need to turn my brain off every once in a while.

At my lowest point I realised the one thing I was missing in my life was that little spark of magic, of joy. Now no matter what I do I try and spot ways to create those moments. A smile, a polite thankyou, help someone elderly, make a baby laugh, give way to pedestrians, little moments where I take that little bit of time to make someone else's day that bit better.

@BlondeQtie

2 жыл бұрын

muchelleb on youtube has nice videos to add „sparks of joy and magic“ to your everyday life! and lavendaire here on yt has also great content! check them out, i bet you‘ll like them 🙂

You're spot on and I've also realised (post-covid), that living in the western world is exacerbating my depression. It's feeling that I don't belong that is the thing for me. Western values are hedonistic, individualistic, competitive.

The video Westerners need, coming from a Westerner. Astonishing how isolating my self-help journey had been until Covid showed me how truly isolated I had become. I had learned a lot of good things about myself but came to lack the development of social skills and understanding that would’ve been the most helpful. It is never too late though, baby steps!

I need to take care of myself. My husband died. My boss and I have reached a point where I am so stressed I am retiring to try to take care of myself. I need to take care of my spirit. I need to enjoy the outdoors. I cannot look forward and be healthy letting my life be miserable. " If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got".

@frannyleyden7988

2 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry for your loss.

@MsAldil

Жыл бұрын

Hope you are finding your way to happiness now. Thinking of you... how are you?

@bookie7316

Жыл бұрын

@@MsAldil Hi Lynette, I am doing well. I retired on June 1st. I am feeling relaxed and much less stressed.

Happiness for me is being able to live in a place you love, doing something you love and being surrounded by those who really care about you, plus a few kids if possible :)

One thing that has really helped me, but I started doing it without even trying to increase my happiness, is to only post kind, positive things on social media. Particularly when someone has received some very negative/mean comments about something they posted. There is so much toxicity on social media that I started to feel very strongly about being a presence that builds people up instead of cuts them down. This especially helped during COVID-19, since I live alone and have been very physically isolated from others during the pandemic.

I find this so interesting having returned from living in Taiwan for 11 years and the biggest culture shock (during the elections + Pandemic) is how hyper-individualistic America is (it seems so selfish). My daughter has been struggling with anxiety and depression (she grew up in Taiwan) so I can see how all of what you said makes sense for us (she rejects self-help because it makes it all worse). Thanks for your videos, I just shared them this week with a friend who just started feeling more anxiety than usual. Much appreciation!!

Not sure why your videos showed in my KZread feed but I am very thankful they did. A hearty thank you for all your wonderful help.

Genuinely this never occurred to me before! Thank you so much! I've struggled with suicidality for a long time and I have internalized the idea that suicide is ultimately a narcissistic behavior...however I never thought the antidote to depression and suicidality might be the opposite of narcissism. Makes sense.

@fictionesque1992

2 жыл бұрын

ALSO just realized...this individualistic self-help culture is also why a lot of people overly interested in self-help tend to be lowkey assholes. American self-help has a lot of messages about "you don't owe anyone anything," and this leads to people straight up turning their friends away when they need help. Setting too many boundaries without realizing how important reciprocal social interaction is to happiness can turn you into an emotional leech.

@libbyhyett6625

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, I hope you feel better. Suicidal ideation is dangerous, please have a chat with your gp. Xo

I love this one a lot! The last two years were a little rough, and I tended to seclude myself a LOT but I was also drowning in self-help books which DO oftentimes provide a lot of false hope & as you said, are specifically geared toward oneself. I was feeling a lot lonelier than I should have, but recently I got involved with theatre again (which was my BIGGEST passion before the pandemic) and this community theatre has been incredible. We have all benefited one another in countless ways. Thank you for your videos! 💕

Being single and having three grown children, it’s very rare that I hug someone. I miss that physical contact. It lifts me up every time. Hugs are so healing ❤️

As an INFJ with few remaining friends (they have passed away since I moved here), I can tend to isolate too much. However, volunteering gives me both the sense of accomplishment that I had in my career but also the personal connection that I need now that my friends are gone. I do home visits with the elderly, handicapped, Etc every week. The way the volunteering organization thinks of it, I am there to make the client feel better. But in the process, I feel better too. It's personal connection time for them but also for me. Highly recommend volunteering in a cause you feel strongly about!

I am meeting my people regularly, slowing down , doing my hobbies , being grateful

Discovered your youtube site a few weeks ago, and it's brilliant! Have recommended it to family and friends. Keep up the good work and thank you for all the encouragement and care you are spreading with the wonderful advice.

Taking either cultural norm to an extreme is going to do more harm than good... Yes, we're social creatures, so we DO need those social connections... from close friends and family to associates, acquaintances, and business connections... all of them. Nobody functions completely as an island, and anyone who thinks they do is either missing something or deluding themselves... BUT... losing your individual identity in "the group" is where lines ALSO must be drawn. Belonging is fine and all, but part of being happy and well adjusted is a certain fierce individualism that doesn't depend on outside influences for us to be assured of who or what we are... AND what exactly is going to increase a person's happiness or decrease their anxiety, depression, or other issues that suck in general is going to be a bit different depending on the individual. There's unfortunately no perfect equation for human happiness and function, either. We ARE individuals, even if we do need those interpersonal relationships... AND we need to treat the individual, NOT just the "numbers", as the Doc's say in physical medicine... SO yeah, you'll probably find it uplifting to help others and get out of the solitude... BUT be careful you don't dive so deep into the idea that you create more problems along the way. It's easy to get "spread too thin"... AND it's not impossible to find yourself susceptible to predatory behavior, either. Cults operate on the need for socialization, and they prey upon people who already have trouble with isolation or low self worth .. ;o)

@Ayesha_F

2 жыл бұрын

Well put

@hikingviking859

2 жыл бұрын

You hit the nail on the head.

@gnarthdarkanen7464

2 жыл бұрын

@@Ayesha_F Thanks... I try. Just hoping to help keep a sort of a balance to things as it were. ;o)

@gnarthdarkanen7464

2 жыл бұрын

@@hikingviking859 Thanks... AND for what it's worth I'm all for whatever method might help someone find happiness, improve their sociability and ease stresses... etc. Just that it's easy to see videos and get the idea that "THIS" must be THE thing that does it... Only some time down the road, you've worn yourself to a figurative nub, and you might even feel worse... ...and then what??? OR maybe someone has had that cultural influence for a while, and they've tried and Tried and TRIED... and it's just not helping them... SO then this kind of suggestion just sounds wrong... I think we (in the U.S.) do have a tendency to get the fierce individualism a bit out of whack to the extreme, so anything that increases the social ties will help USUALLY... but maybe not always... Balance is where there's a "butter zone"... ;o)

@jeetujoy1635

2 жыл бұрын

Extreme altruism destroyed me, i am glad someone pointed out the need for balance

My experience in 12 step recovery is being encouraged to reach out & encouraged to do service. Connection rocks. Ty for the video! 💖

I’m truly grateful I have come across your videos. Thank you Emma!

This was so helpful. I found the section on people who don't speak out their own needs illuminating. Thank you for posting.

To follow your tip, I just want to say that I really find your content helpful, and as a depressive-anxious person, this series is just the right balance of positivity and doable actions :)

This content is really needed around the world now!!! Thank you and cheers from Norway!

Excellent video. Thanks for making

as a teenager who's having a hard time reaching out to others for help, i really thank you for helping me (and the rest of the people watching ur videos) get better and have some hope in life! will definitely practice the idea list u shared to us on how to connect w others! :D

This was encouraging for me. I know that I will be happier being around other like-minded/goal oriented people.

I'm not your typical subscriber (male, psychologist) but I enjoy your videos so much, so, THANK YOU!

Thanks so much Emma for articulating this. It's a real "aha, of course!!" Moment for me. Xxx

I have found that journaling what i already HAVE done for those around me is very helpful as well.

I love this woman! Thank god for people like this in our world!

What an awesome video! Thank you for putting it out there to help others!

Volunteering always makes me feel better.

I needed this. Thank you.

Thank you for your awesome video, and for sharing what you have learned. As I get older, I need all the ideas I can get on how to encourage community in a culture of isolation. You have shared some hopeful ideas 😊

Thank you for your clarity

I feel very privileged to have a network of friends. Every few weeks we go for a trip together and that means a lot to me. I can't imagine going through all my stuff alone. It also helps to be open to other people everyday, when shopping or walking streets. I'm not a good small-talker but recently I've found that I'd love to be ;) Wish you the best!

This is VERY inspiring... Thank you SO Much!! Just what i needed right now.

A friend of mine used to help at the local hospital and was asked to wash the hair of homeless people who got injured on the streets. She did this for years to give to society while helping herself through extreme depression. I admired her so much for her care and dedication.

@ZabXyzx

2 жыл бұрын

Wow!, didn’t know this was a thing. Do you just go to the hospital and ask how you can volunteer? Or do you need a certain something

@lizaC0001

2 жыл бұрын

@@ZabXyzx I'm not sure how it works in other countries, but this was something people did in South Africa, and my friend was 30 at the time. She is in her 70's now. Covid may also have changed all of that. It is best to enquire at your local hospital to hear what you are able to do. Quite something though.

Thank you for the advice! I am trying to get better and have been doing a couple of things and I'll try harder on this points!

Thanks so much, Emma. Caring for the good of others is an expression of the virtue of social justice to which many Asians give a high value. This seems to be the source of strength of many Filipino nurses across the globe. We see that resilience in their smiles even when the going gets tough, having to care for patients and senior citizens, even becoming close to them more than their own family members.

@AngelBien

2 жыл бұрын

Pinoy fam where you at? 🇵🇭❤️✊

@grandjette

2 жыл бұрын

@@AngelBien Wishing you well from the motherland 💜

Your videos are so positive and uplifting. ❤

I love her voice. It’s beautiful.

Here’s something kind of like to share . I love your channel but I also love your curls!!

I go grocery shopping and I try to do that just once a week, so I wouldn't have too much contact with strangers. But that means that I always have a full shopping cart. When I'm at the checkout I always have to put the stuff on the conveyor belt and that takes some time. While doing this I let the people behind me in the row and with just a few items to buy surpass so that they can get the paying process done before me. And yesterday I got recognized by a lady, who noticed me as someone who has even done this to her the time before. It made me smile and the lady was glad that she could appreciate it.

Thank You! You are wonderful for sharing this helpful information.

Emma, your videos always inspire me to get better and better ... And this one, made me smile ... Thank you💜😘

I like that you include what the latest scientific research says, it lends much credibility. Thank you, you are doing a great service.

absolutely a hundred percent correct!!! thanks Emma for speaking it out!❤️🙏🏼🥰

I love your channel, thank you!

Emma, such a fabulous video, it made me smile. You articulate things so well for everyone to a very practical, applicable level. God bless and thank you 😊 🙏 xx

Thanks so much Emma

I really like your videos.Thanks for all of them and your effort you put in. "the door to happiness opens outward" - Søren Kierlegaard And as Nazım Hikmet Ran said: "To live! like a tree alone and free, To live! like a forest in brotherhood/sisterhood..." I think the key is here,balance between individuality and being a member of social existence,whatever you call that. Thanks again!

Thank you for sharing these ideas, Emma. This definitely resonates with me. 🙂💙

Thank you for the great tips!!❤

I feel so much better after I watch your video. Thank you so much.

I think I agree with both perspectives. I think it’s good to spend time alone and work on yourself, but it’s also good to be good to others! You can’t pour from an empty cup, right? Besides that, social interaction seems to be draining for me, so I enjoy the times where I can be alone with my own thoughts and work through things I’ve seen or heard from others. I also recognize though, that we are all connected and that we’re all in this together, so we should cultivate harmony and peace. So, I think I’m kind of in the middle :)

Thank you so much for this video...🙏

It is important to have a balance between me time and we time. I come from India and have been living in Australia for 20 years. Your point about the eastern and western culture is spot on. But in both cultures people struggle for that balance. Eastern cultures also promote tribal approach of interconnected Ness but encourage meditative practices with which to nourish the individual self both are important. The key is balance which is the hard trick because it is different for each person. Thanks for your videos. I love them.

Such a great video.

Thanks for this video love it

Makes sense. Thank you.

Outstanding video

Emma, pregnancy looks beautiful on you!😍 Thank you for this enlightening video

Completely unrelated but your hair looks gorgeous 😍

Thank you for your videos! 🙏🙂

Such a great video thank you so much :)

Thank you so much for helping PPL to know nd improve mental health

I love this lesson! Thanks so much! 🙂❤

this is powerfull ❤️ thank you

Thank you!

I loved this!

I join the beach clean up three times a year. I usually end up with a different group of people each time so there's new connections to make. Sharing a meal afterwards allows us time to get to know each other a little more. Since I live 100 miles away from the coast, it's a good way to be near the beaches I love and do some good in the world.

I teach movement to the physically and cognitively challenged. No matter what might be going on in my life, even negative emotions, I consistently feel better after I teach. My students help me every bit as much as I help them.

Wow! This is a great video!!!

There are benefits and drawbacks to focusing on self and others. Extreme focus on either can lead to difficulties. The key to happiness is balance. Doing everything in moderation as my Grandmother wisely taught me. Even the wise philosophers of old such as Buddha, Confucius, and Aristotle taught the Middle Way. Nature's Way of balance and harmony.

Agree with the thought to limit time with ‘hard news’. Replacing some of that time with uplifting topics is a great buffer.

i think most people only think about them selves and its true our society is like fix your own problems, take care of your self / instead of helping eachother. it makes it hard and people feel lonely

I am involved with an Organization called Toastmasters International and mentor other members reach their goals and discover confidence. It makes me feels so good to watch others reach their goals and grow.

This made me think of the song 🎵Have I done any good in the world today🎵 Thank you for your kind words

Very Good, that makes a lot of sense !!

I generally can find happiness in helping others. That's partly why I also became a Marriage and Family Therapist. Because I tend to sacrifice self-care to help others I have sometimes had trouble maintaining an ideal balance. Hobbies tend to help with maintaining this balance.

I watched the video on how to diffuse panic attacks. I’ve been suffering from panic disorders for decades, now I’m applying your “ method” and have been feeling great for the past few days. I’ve been able to actually enjoy my food which is one of my biggest triggers for the attacks. Basically my chest and my throat close as soon as I start to eat. Every single meal., what I know is that God sent you my way. I don’t know what to say, because your videos appeared out of the blue. Thank you doesn’t even begin. Please keep helping people. ❤🤗🙏🏻

I think this is a common myth among extroverts. After tracking mood for several years I've found that I feel happier when spending more time alone and less happy when spending social time with others. The most effective way to turn my mood around is to spend a few hours alone in nature. Helping people doesn't really help at all - years later I look back and cringe about it. I used to go to a lot of social groups but I found that it made me feel like my "self" was getting switched off / drowned out during that time, which made me very depressed. I now see people for about an hour a week and feel a lot more human.

@ivylilybasket

Жыл бұрын

Helping people works for some, but for me it turned me into a people pleaser, doormat, person who derived validation from others' gratefulness / praise or lack of it, seeking approval of others whether I'm a good person or "selfish", it made me a puppet instead of self-controlled person.

I love how you gave us a list of possible activities to do. A big part of depression is the fact that our lives are boring. In an attempt to assuage the boredom we keep going back to the same things, expecting them to give us the same high, despite the fact that we got bored of them and needed to move on or take a break from them a long time ago. People nowadays are sooo boring. We don’t even realize it. All we care about is working at our 9 to 5 8 hour jobs doing something we hate, just so we can provide for a family that just sits at home doing nothing all day. It’s not like any of us are enslaved at the moment. We have the freedom to choose how we want to spend our time. The world is our oyster, so get excited about it: learn an instrument, join a choir, try a new sport, learn how to cook a new cuisine, read more books, build a garden, draw something, take a pretty photo, do a short course, talk to a stranger, make a KZread video, write a book, try a science experiment, start a business, go travelling, learn a new language, have a party, play a new game with your friends… there are sooo many things you can do. Move on from the food, alcohol, sex… take a break and stop trying to find your life’s meaning in things that can never satisfy you.

@cherylspersontillman2351

2 жыл бұрын

BS

I understand where you're going when you discuss the data on Western society vs Eastern society values. However, I am Indigenous American and one of, if not the only, most important value is community and social needs. I have found this to be common in Latinx culture as well. Just some food for thought.

@TherapyinaNutshell

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely valid point. Not everyone in the west has a western culture.

@nyxcelina7939

2 жыл бұрын

@Karrie Dee it is the gender neutral term for Latino/Latina people

I try to take a balanced view. As a codependent I tend to ignore myself and my needs, have poor boundaries, and put up with a lot of disrespect. So learning to embrace individuality has been part of my journey. However, that can become insular, so I have to remember to take what I’ve been working on by myself and implement it to forge true connections.

Thank you.