Remember to change all the components of your bike to better ones.... then just buy another bike a year later

@angelicalim8531

5 жыл бұрын

Lol

@Gromcan

5 жыл бұрын

Arslan Bhatti what are you doing to me

@kimjongunch2475

4 жыл бұрын

Is this a personal attack?

@takeitoutdoors4828

3 жыл бұрын

Next time just tag me, Arslan. 😂

@blizzbee

3 жыл бұрын

My complete road bike is $200... And it's also 13.8kg.

My arch enemy is the wind damnit!

@canadalavearn

5 жыл бұрын

I second that

@ravindersandhu576

5 жыл бұрын

But it cools u down

@ralfrufus6573

5 жыл бұрын

My arch enemy is the uphill, damnit!

@user-sp1iu6lt9w

5 жыл бұрын

You got damn right

@DanArnets1492

5 жыл бұрын

Headwinds and any incline above 7% for 1h for me.

Remember to draft abnormally close to the biker in front of you, make him do all the work.

@dekster14LP

9 жыл бұрын

thundercactus And than leave him behind when he has used up all his energy.

@stephaniegobler7368

9 жыл бұрын

thundercactus Even better... quietly sneak up and draft behind the biker training for a tri (riding aero) and scare the living shit out of her by drafting freakishly close - not considering that she's never had someone draft off her before!

@peter_smyth

6 жыл бұрын

If you can't smell their butt, you're not close enough.

@keenansegenchuk7177

6 жыл бұрын

Stephanie Gobler you seem to be talking out of experience

@reecenewton3097

Жыл бұрын

But don't cross wheels!!

Remember, a crash is worth it if you beat a record on strava

@3500wade

7 жыл бұрын

LMAO this is the third day after i crashed ,i'm sitting here with a broken elbow and zero regrets , i beat my record.

@bnadit1949

7 жыл бұрын

I did this the other day, took 3rd on a descent and crashed right after I crossed the end of the segment.

@user-oi1ki6xv3y

4 жыл бұрын

I crashed too, trying to become a KOM. It was unbeatable actually)))

@banannaxpancakehildyard8229

4 жыл бұрын

They forgot to lock the bike at the end

@patheticbikeaholic1611

4 жыл бұрын

Yes

Also binge watch GCN videos

@bryanramos2014

7 жыл бұрын

GhostyGhost who's the best GCN presenter?

@andrewmitchell5807

7 жыл бұрын

bryan ramos si

@Nouveau0

6 жыл бұрын

Andrew Mitchell c'mon we all know it's Matt

@kaloka521

6 жыл бұрын

#EmmaFanSquad

@ryuuseiboi950

6 жыл бұрын

Bryan Ramos I was going to kill myself when Matt left CGN

Never tell your wife,the TRUE cost of cycle parts.

@krsvbg1989

5 жыл бұрын

Y'all married the wrong people. I tell my wife the true cost. She laughs and thinks it's stupid... just like I laugh at her paying $500 for a Coach bag. We all have different interests and hobbies that we're crazy for. Honesty is still the best policy - it is not only morally right, but highly efficient too.

@MattyJTri

5 жыл бұрын

(I think it was a joke)

@CanIHasThisName

5 жыл бұрын

If you crash and die, she will sell them for what you told her they cost.

@Deniz_1637

5 жыл бұрын

damnnn true af

@birkhaugen6361

5 жыл бұрын

Not your mom either

100% legit. You missed: track stand at red lights.

@crazybarbarian1604

8 жыл бұрын

+Rachel M What do you mean? Road bikers don't stop at red lights XD

@jarryda

8 жыл бұрын

+CrazyBarbarian Pull onto sidewalk. Pass red light. Get off sidewalk. What red light? I'm a "pedestrian."

@Umur64

8 жыл бұрын

+jarryda thats what i do lmao

@duskedradiance4165

6 жыл бұрын

If you're still in high school, be prepared, because your mom will ask you to buy something from the nearest convenience store.

@JaCkFrQsT

5 жыл бұрын

I do that

Whoever writes these segments... Genius comedy without being crude and explicit. This is really, really funny stuff, without relying on immature, or suggestive humor. Quality stuff.

@boopitydoopity

8 жыл бұрын

except step 16 :p

@grifter84

8 жыл бұрын

They did have to bleep or mute the word "fuck" a couple of times.

@Motherwaffle

6 жыл бұрын

Im mean there is a literal sex scene

@boostedbrian8309

6 жыл бұрын

Maria actually it's a cheap ripoff of GCN.

@soup7917

5 жыл бұрын

I think it's just funny, nobody really gives a shit how it was written

Buy a jersey with some company name on it and advertise for them and not get paid!!!

@normadicn5700

5 жыл бұрын

This!

@kainpwnsu

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, but it's free or heavily discounted!

@rejickmukherjee9154

3 жыл бұрын

Custom jersey 😄

@arturrrrrrkato

3 жыл бұрын

You actually get paid :D This shirts are relatively cheaper than one's without brands names :D

Run red lights if it looks clear enough so you don't have to stop and unclip...

@dawn9782

8 жыл бұрын

+Bellwhacker RED means BRAVE ; Yellow means HAPPY ; GREEN means GO . what are you watiting for, get your own coffin now.. :D

@dawn9782

8 жыл бұрын

i mean coffee..

@Infernoflameblast

8 жыл бұрын

the truth

@lukescott4474

7 жыл бұрын

Gladius amen

@billykobilca6321

7 жыл бұрын

Gladius genius! !!!

Also: Always feel challenged if another roadbiker overtakes you!

@JohnSmith-pn1vv

Жыл бұрын

Yes! If I was slower I'd have way more cycling friends

1,000,000! Thanks for watching and sharing!

@desireesun

8 жыл бұрын

How to be a snowboarder or basketball player?

@fishline8580

8 жыл бұрын

Please do how to be a soccer player

@tyson1ize

8 жыл бұрын

+Fish Line that's thoccer player

@timzippenfennig2892

7 жыл бұрын

How to be a Bmxer

@timzippenfennig2892

7 жыл бұрын

Or a Dirtbiker,Slopestyler....

Accessories!! GPS computer, power meter, pedals, carbon wheels with fancy boutique hubs, shoes, and helmet. These items should cost more than your initial purchase for the bike.

@AgentB7

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah, “buy a Garmin”.

@beans392

3 жыл бұрын

And when you get a cheap carbon fork to save some money, it snaps in half because of a pothole that you didn't notice

Uncomfortably accurate.

@EmmaMoorelovesFundamental

10 жыл бұрын

Hit outta the park! Good One. VEDY GOOD ONE.

I think they missed the gigantic crush we all have on Peter Sagan.

@sardasert

8 жыл бұрын

Sagan is Life

@Dave-lf5kv

7 жыл бұрын

please... speak for yourself

@shannonstrobel6727

7 жыл бұрын

I have Tom Boonen on my nightstand... er his picture, I mean... yeah...

@donkim123

6 жыл бұрын

Helicase21 #nosagannotour

@fteogr

6 жыл бұрын

His name is Lord Sagan

You forgot to buy a bike one size too small just to slam the stem even more

@lukescott4474

7 жыл бұрын

HassanNajfi or in my case like 3 sizes too small.

@criteriumgoat6525

6 жыл бұрын

Holy shit I'm guilty of this

NEW VIDEO! A follow up to "How to be a Mountain Biker" we decided to teach you all how to become a road biker! Share with your friends and enjoy!

@Chanchaldas17

10 жыл бұрын

beware of car doors

@dirtydove250

10 жыл бұрын

Step 10: It's a cap not a hat.

@halbritt

10 жыл бұрын

Tyler Horsman Nobody gives a fuck about the three awful cyclists you once met.

@ingabeck

10 жыл бұрын

You guys are awesome, I LOVE these videos!

@innteruuption

10 жыл бұрын

Jamie john what..?

-Learn to be a good pack leader by yelling out road debris and potholes way too loudly. -Learn to ride in a pack by avoiding snotting or spitting on your fellow riders. Also, learn to yell "Hold your line." -Learn to tell the difference between an amateur and a category rider by their spin. Be sure to point this out to everyone around you. "That guys spin is crap." "Wow, great spin, he knows what he's doing." -Laugh at other cyclist when they crack on a climb. "Too much for you softie." But when you crack on a climb, down shift as hard as possible to derail your chain. "Crap! My chain is loose." -Every amateur out for a sunday stroll is your chance to show them they don't deserve to ride on the same road as you. Pass them going 25mph not matter what and with only 1 foot to spare. Also sneak up on them then scream "ON YOUR RIGHT!!!" -Race in a crit. It doesn't matter that you were dropped half way through, always claim you finished top 10. -Besure to complain about the chosen course. "Turns were too tight." "That road was crap." "I had to travel 11 hours for this race."

@mickenoss

10 жыл бұрын

-You can only acknowledge other cyclists with a slight nod. And even that is a little over the top.

"Remember, a ride didn't recorded on Strava didnt happen" why is this so fookin relatable

My father works at a bike shop, and he's a road biker, I can relate to everything!!

Did that guy shave his eye brows?

@luca3976

4 жыл бұрын

2:08 2:13 no i dont think so

"...or Fred." Lost it.

@geraldchampigny1559

10 жыл бұрын

I agree!

"Oh I'm gonna KOM" DIED laughing xD

Your favourite material is carbonfibre.

@LegalizeTheNuclearBomb

7 жыл бұрын

I don't give a shit, it was a typo.

@LegalizeTheNuclearBomb

7 жыл бұрын

Still Pop fuck off

@alexandremouton7169

4 жыл бұрын

Nah m8 titanium

@RealMTBAddict

3 жыл бұрын

Carbon fiber is two words

@nielsdekruijk395

3 жыл бұрын

My bike be like: carbon frame, carbon fork, carbon seatpost, carbon bars, carbon shifters, carbon cranks, carbon pedals, and I still want some carbon wheels. But for real

great ! You forgot that a road cyclist should wear jerseys full of sponsors that you don't have a clue or they don't pay you to

@frankmc4294

10 жыл бұрын

hahahahaha great analysis ....

@canadalavearn

5 жыл бұрын

Darn

@adventuresona700dollarhard5

5 жыл бұрын

This is #1

> Sign up for a triathlon. Because you know how to swim and run, and you're already a pro cyclist.

you forgot runners on the enemy list lol

@tarkilldudegaming2296

6 жыл бұрын

IAmNikolasDiDomenico and fixed gear riders lol

@noonehere4332

4 жыл бұрын

And pedestrians

@corvividart4745

4 жыл бұрын

when i was into cycling, it was horses because i saw them as.. a competitor for bikes?? i was weird

@xx-----------xx873

3 жыл бұрын

I hate equestrians too because they are allowed to let their horses shit on the road and the path, and it never comes off the tread.

@PedalsAndMotors

3 жыл бұрын

Sad thing is this comment is coming back to bite me, I am a runner for my college, BUT cycling is still better

"You slide better when you crash" that had me in tears

3 years in, still not shaving my legs. feeling like a rebel.

@Namnarooni

10 жыл бұрын

Yeah.. I'm with you.. And I'm a freakin SASQUATCH !! I hope it grosses out the real bike snobs... ROFL

@Geliormth

10 жыл бұрын

hairy legs, gross! ;)

@ErkiDM1997

7 жыл бұрын

Lol, who cares, i only shaved after like 4 years, drove a mountainbike and didnt feel like it, now with my roadbike i think it looks better without hairy legs. But idgaf what others do, whatever suits you best.

@teuast

5 жыл бұрын

It does make dealing with road rash easier, I found that out the hard way. Still haven't bothered to do it, though.

@Woopb

5 жыл бұрын

23 years in, i shaved it once. Not because of cycling, I lost a bet.

I'm FRED and I have my own category - awesome!

So I watched this video when it came out about 2 years ago just before I became a serious cyclist and now that that I'm coming back to this video you guys are fucking spot on!

This is the most informative video I've ever seen 😂😂

According to "The Rules", the correct number of bikes to own has an alternative formula of "b = S - 1", where S is the number of bikes that would cause your spouse to separate...

get a name sticker with country flag on your bike

@lukescott4474

7 жыл бұрын

wa22up0 just to make yourself look like a pro lmao

@shanestrains4724

5 жыл бұрын

You can do that?!?!

@jasonknoll5170

5 жыл бұрын

@@shanestrains4724 Yeah it's just a sticker you can buy online.

At the end you missed something hmm LOCKING YOUR BIKE!

@Mr_Frypan

4 жыл бұрын

Bike locks aren't aero

So true. Except you missed high socks and a hate against disk brakes

@RealMTBAddict

3 жыл бұрын

Still hate disk brakes? Lol

@chr1sj4

3 жыл бұрын

@@RealMTBAddict that anti disc brake comment was made four years ago

@RealMTBAddict

3 жыл бұрын

@@chr1sj4 exactly my point.

@RealMTBAddict

3 жыл бұрын

Still hate disk brakes??????

@cyllxx9112

2 жыл бұрын

@@RealMTBAddict I hate disc brakes because rim brake bikes are cheaper

YAYAAAA i was excited for this :D

2:23 Oh, oh, I'm gonna KOM!

@PeterLeder

6 жыл бұрын

it took me this comment to get the joke, thanks! 😂

Love the video :) on point, felt described 100%

I first watched this about a lil over a year ago... Came back and Holy cow how accurate this is, all that jargon and slang... I KNOW ALL OF IT! And those habits (most of them) apply to me haha

About time us roadies got some well-deserved lurve...

@ThisIsLesli

10 жыл бұрын

Yeah, this made me guffaw a few times.

Love this! Road cycling is a bit ridiculous sometimes. Whatever.

The livestrong wristband comment gets me every time.

This channel deserves more fame.

My arch rivals - All Other Cyclists.

@UkrainianBazooka

10 жыл бұрын

Cars, potholes, idiots(triathletes and others), and oblivious pedestrians.

@luca3976

5 жыл бұрын

@@UkrainianBazooka obviously pedestrains!!

@kevinsantoso7430

5 жыл бұрын

Me as a mountain biker: "Dude. Stop taking the roads."

@obliviontls

5 жыл бұрын

@@UkrainianBazooka Why triathletes ?? they are nice !

"I'm gonna KOM!" Love it!!

thanks for brighten up my day

Great video and so funny. Loved it.

you missed things like riders going to coffee shops or subways with their outfits

@ifhtfilms

10 жыл бұрын

You must have stopped watching before the last step!

@flowdj00

8 жыл бұрын

+IFHT I might have sorry

do how to be a skateboarder :)

Love this video so funny thank you!

I miss these! Please make more!

I'm ready for "How to be a Cyclocross Biker"

Another guys: hey! get a car Me: Hey! Get your fit!

Absolutely EXCELLENT!

😂😂... didn't see that till now!! another nice one! 👌🔝

Gets funnier each time I watch.

@ScottLoveless

10 жыл бұрын

Arch-nemesis: triathletes.

Funny, but most of those are true. You missed matching kit and bike though.

This channel helped me thru a breakup. Thanks Matt and Jason

Third video i've watched.Subscribed!

My dad is a manager of a bike repair store, and he's a road biker, I practically know what everything means in this video, it's awesome!:D

@dudeonbike800

7 ай бұрын

Well then, you can shove that EPO up your VO2 Max!

2:50 lol thats me when I first started cycling

Love it!!!

this video is sooooo true! I'm also do MTB tho. I found this great shirt that says "If I collapse pause my Strava" but sadly the material is to thick to actually use for riding.

Pick your enemy. You missed out BMXers as a choice.

I commute to school on a fixie and do triathlons/road races. A lot of this is incredibly applicable to my life

Omg this is awesome!!!

Thanks for this it's awesome and true

So much truth. So much.

“It makes me more aero” LMAO

ive watched this a hundred times!!

That's so brilliant!!

A biker is someone who doesn't pedal. However, amazingly entertaining and hilariously accurate video. :)

@CanIHasThisName

5 жыл бұрын

How are mountain bikers moving in them mountains then?

@montanawalker8819

4 жыл бұрын

@@CanIHasThisName if it's a decent mountain, a lift

@CanIHasThisName

4 жыл бұрын

@@montanawalker8819 Only in gravity parks.

@montanawalker8819

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly, a gravity park is a decent mountain.

2:20 we shave to get a streamlined shape so we can go faster

Great video! Guys you forgot the Carbon vs Aluminium vs. Aloy frame debate!

Oh my god I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.. The pothole and gluten thing got me (2:37).. Thanks for this guys.. BRB gonna shave my entire body

Seriously though. Why all the hate when the majority of cyclists like myself follow all the rules of the road, are respectful to motorists, and really just love the sport and all its joys?

@luca3976

5 жыл бұрын

Because the negative riders always stand out more. No motorist will remeber a cyclist that did not pass him on a red light to get to the front of the line

@michelleroach6696

4 жыл бұрын

Because the majority in Vancouver don't follow the rules

@HamsterWheelGaming

4 жыл бұрын

@@luca3976 Pretty much this. Same with bikers, because some act like dickheads, it means that normal bikers get lumped in with those assholes. Same for people who do speed cycling

@benjamindavies1188

4 жыл бұрын

@@HamsterWheelGaming depending on the speed limit, if you are going faster than a car, the driver can sometimes respect you more

@alexkellner3670

4 жыл бұрын

gayyyy

Added step: Remember to correct everyone who calls you a "biker" instead of a cyclist.

@casparvoncampenhausen5249

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely

@beans392

3 жыл бұрын

Biker is the one with the 500 pound motorcycle that goes the speed of light at highways only to rear end you

@nielsdekruijk395

3 жыл бұрын

@@beans392 and those forest guys on MTB

This channel is lit af

these are great

Guy: Get a car Me: Psh the road bike probably cost more than that car

Looked online for prices, Jesus Christ it's more than $1,000!!

@keenansegenchuk7177

6 жыл бұрын

honestly dishonest the bike Sagan rode in the tour last year was around 13000$

@myfirstcrappyvideobilly

4 жыл бұрын

Some are upward 5K

I laughed way too hard for the garmin KOM part hahahaha

Never thought I’d see the day Matt on a rode bike

4:06 You miss NEVER LET YOUR BIKE ALONE :))

Im watching this and im a mountain biker

Loved it

This is absolutely hilarious, my dad does all of these!

2019 spend thousands on a zwift setup and pain cave

You Forgot To Run Red Lights

Hilarious - great job - loved it!!!!

@venicementor2068

9 жыл бұрын

Oh, and so bloody true. LOL

i love this series, could you do a "how to be a gamer"

Some of the were so fucking true!

Fun Fact: When your clipped in it’s known as clipless and when your clipless your clipped in.

Right on!

Knob Creek in the recovery day shot... these guys got some taste :D.

Uhmm well I know EPO is Erythropoietin that increases your performance, but what about IPA???

@chips1972

9 жыл бұрын

IPA....India Pale Ale.. high alcohol,high hoppy beer..Yum.....

You missed step 27: get a mountain bike

Been a while since I was on a road bike so I re-watched for the lulz. I've done at least half of this in this month alone. Hold me.

That winter training bike is so cool