Diagnosed about 18 months ago in my late 50s. It's a huge adjustment to consider, I just thought I had CPTSD from emotionally stunted parents who had no clue how to raise children. But, after the ADHD diagnosis 8 or 9 years ago and I still couldn't pull myself together I stumbled across Sarah Hendrickx videos, and 💡! "What if" is a lovely question, but it can't really be answered now, I'm just trying to focus on making my next 25 years fruitful. No more trying to meet old standards, all in with a lot of forgiveness and new interests and hopefully a few new friends.

@stevealexander2649

11 ай бұрын

Whilst i am so pleased to hear how much better thing are, it must be frustrating to get the wrong initial diagnosis,hope your next 25 years are good

You've nailed it completely. I was so dissociated i convinced myself my shutdowns was me being calm. Your transparency is so helpful. Thx Emma 😊

The medication part... Before I was diagnosed with autism (in my late 30s, and now I am in my early 40s) - my old doctor would prescribe me different anti-depression medication. - And I tried a handful of different brands. The side effects, which were supposed to dissipate or get better after x amount of weeks, were still there and just as strong as when I started taking the medication. Then when I went off the meds, I had awful withdrawal symptoms, and all in all, medication was not a good experience for me. Now, I have heard several people who have been diagnosed with autism say that they don't react very well to medication such as anti-depressants and anxiety meds, and so on. It seems to be quite common that many people on the autism spectrum are sensitive to medicines. Very interesting. Not surprising, though, since it also seems like (and that is my experience too) that we are susceptible to a lot of things that other "normal people" are not sensitive to.

Beautiful job in sharing your truth! I’m 65 yrs old and it’s been a very rough ride down the River for me, so oh, boy, do I relate to your story! My G.P., therapist, and even my pHD sibling all agree that I have Asperger’s, but also said it probably doesn’t matter anyway at this point. That’s incredibly uncaring in my mind. My struggles have been insurmountable for my entire life. Hearing your video today makes me just feel validated. Thank you!

@damescholar

9 ай бұрын

Being 64, the psychiatrist in the public healthcare said also tobme that at this age the diagnosis does not matter, and therefore they do not even consider it. And if I want to have my ”social anxiety and panic problems” treated, I must get a new appointment and speak about them, not autism or ADHD. They are so DIM. Ignoring that they are making a wrong diagnosis and walking over decades of masking which has traumatized me.

@tomsale5142

6 ай бұрын

​@@damescholarthere's a reason big pharma if they diagnose autism they can't prescribed the same for autism less money all wrong infact meds work different in us just diagnosed 43 heds fybromyalgia years ADHD have you got hypomobility

Didn’t realize how much noise impacted me until I started wearing ear buds in public. It expands my coping capacity

I keep coming back to your video. I’m so hungry to talk to women like me, and this is the closest I’ve gotten to it. We’re the same age and seeing women much younger (early 20’s) talk about their late diagnosis…they are valid, but I was diagnosed in my 40’s and feel so much loss of potential and self awareness that I feel they still have. 20 years of it. I’m so very happy for them, but mourn for myself. Thank you for putting this out there! ❤

52 and waiting for an NHS referral appointment. Pretty sure I'm AuDHD with C-PTSD and RSD! After dropping out of 2 different degrees at the 1 year point, I finally have letters after my name! Hahaaaa! But seriously, I am much gentler with myself - realising that I can't help my brain reactions to certain environments/people/sounds/smells etc.. I can navigate them better, leave early, find the quiet place, put ear plugs in etc. I've beaten myself up for years about my 'issues' and I finally feel as though I can now 'get off my case' and learn to treat myself well and look after my own needs (instead of being a master fawner). Here's to a new and better understanding of our quirks :D Bless us all, and thank you Emma for sharing your personal story and helping us all to not feel so alone. x

I was thinking why I feel suddenly anxious in safe environment. This video helped me to realise that I not only react to noises around, but can feel dysregulated when I am simply tired after doing bunch of things. So this video was really helpful!

You did wonderfully, no apologies necessary! Thank you for sharing, it means a lot

@jonaskoelker

2 жыл бұрын

What's the polite way of saying this? Emma, in that last bit off-camera, your voice sounded wonderful. [This is not my backhanded way of saying "you have a great face for radio", but my... fronthanded(?) way of saying "you have a great voice for radio".]

17:09 omg I cannot believe there are other human beings feeling like this. I have enormous difficulties with my different masks coming together at once, for example friends meeting my parents.

Just found out myself at 44. Beautiful and compassionate 💞…thank you, Emma

I've experienced some of these things some of the time. Usually when I'm tired or feeling unwell or just stacked up with life things that needed fixing - families, cars, house, work. I suspect I have autistic traits but for me, labels are unimportant. A psychotherapist once told me "everyone wants to label things but it may not be helpful to you personally and may hinder you". I quite like that perspective. I don't want an excuse not to do something in case it triggers my XYZ diagnosis - and I know I would do that. Instead, being aware of my triggers and understanding myself, enables me to configure a lifestyle that works for me. I know when I need quiet times, or can handle busy times. For me: - understand yourself - accept we're all different - e.g you're not weird, you're you - lean into your personal strengths/skills rather than fighting the tide - use your insight to create an environment/lifestyle that soothes/nurtures your soul - find coping strategies that you can carry with you so you don't need to rely on something/someone else to help you through tricky moments My top tip after many years of fruitless anxiety is learn about yourself and embrace life in a way that works for you. You're unique and there's no set way to live your life. And above all, learn to breathe properly to help calm a frantic body - your body has no choice but to comply as correct breathing stimulates physiological calming processes. Check out James Nestor's book, "Breath". Or at the very least, in stressful times, breathe in for a count of 4 and out for 8 repeatedly, for 3 mins - that will slow it all down by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. Wishing whomever reads this the very best in their unique life ♥️

Lush is many places, even in Norway. I have migraine, and can be very sensitive to light, smells, and sounds as well. So passing by Lush can be tough. I think it's great that your telling your story, and how things are for you. It really makes it easier for us "others" to understand. 🖤

I really related to this and your other video about autism. While I was watching I also realized I had seen you at LARP (Empire I think) as you looked familiar, though I dont believe we ever interacted. Anyway your story struck a chord, I was diagnosed as a hyperactive problem child in the early 80s and apparently had GAD, however the past year and lots of research suggests I was most likely misdiagnosed and I am probably autistic. I have done the usual tests, talked to my mom who told me about how I used to flap my hands, jump up and down, and do all kinds of autistic type things and based on lots of research and conversations with my close friends (who are all on the spectrum) I am pretty sure there is a strong chance I am autistic too. I could never explain why through my life I never really fitted in, felt I was always putting on an act (probably something LARP helped me improve so I could wear a mask in everyday life), was constantly stumbling through social interactions and getting it wrong, being called rude when I wasnt intending, having periodic meltdowns and burnouts, as well as being bullied and marginalized at school and work. Anyway your story really resonated with me and I am glad you finally found your true self, I feel I am only just starting my first steps on that road and literally my entire past experiences in life are now starting to make sense. I wish you the best of luck for the future :)

Big hugs to you. I am so glad you finally got a label that fits. That you are not broken and do not need to be fixed. You are enough. As Mel Robbins says: " I am Okay. I am Safe. I am Loved. " Self compassion was all you needed to help you understand the root of your experiences and allowing the body to rest.

I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I just couldn't bounce back from my first burnout 7 years ago, when my oldest child started school. I'm now on a waitlist for an ASD assessment. This video was very helpful

I can so readily relate to everything you are saying! You make me feel a great deal better that there are other people on the planet that feel the same as me!! Thank you ❤

Wow this is so helpful! I related to so much that you talked about. I'm 40, not diagnosed, and only just starting to wonder about autism. I was also diagnosed with GAD in my early 20s, not through any special exam. I was actually first diagnosed with depression and went through a few medications that either didn't work or made me incredibly anxious. Then the doctor landed on a medication that was used for both anxiety and depression and I got miraculously better. I realized that I wasn't really depressed. I was overwhelmed by anxiety, and shutting down looked like depression. I don't recall a formal GAD diagnosis, but they put that on the prescription label, so I just assumed that was it. The rest is a long story, but I've found that despite medication I'm still anxious in crowds and places with lots of people talking, bright lights bother me, etc. And I will sometimes have a panic attack. I have been surprised at how effective it has been to wear earplugs. I wore earplugs to a poster session at a conference recently and felt calm as I talked to people where normally feel like I'm suffocating, struggle to concentrate on what people are saying, and just want to run out of the room.

Thank you for all your ASD videos so grateful to you as an older female waiting for diagnosis, depression & anxiety was also given to me as diagnosis back in my 19-20th year, now I’m certain I’m neurodiverse and that was burn out and not coping with being so different to everyone else.

I felt connected to your feelings from the start. Then you said "Flames, FLAMES on the sides of my face!" MY FRIEND! :-) I have been neck deep in research and discovery and I've recently found a psych who specializes in adult assessments. I'm 45, so I was very warmed to find your videos.

I get a similar thing to your coffee shop reaction in those trendy little restaurants with open ceilings. Something about those ceilings makes the sounds echo way more so if they’re at all crowded I feel bombarded by everyone’s noises and conversations and it gives me this bizarre headache and the shakes.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm mum to two autistic teenagers -- my eldest wasn't diagnosed until she was 17 (after a full-on breakdown requiring multiple hospitalizations and a misdiagnosis of yes, GAD as well as BPD) -- despite the fact her younger brother had already been diagnosed at age 10. *head-desk*. Anyway -- I know how scarce the support and information can be from 'professional sources' -- so videos like this are enormously helpful. I know my daughter has learned a lot more and come to understand herself far more from listening/watching other autistic people share their experiences. Thank you again.

Shopping centres are so hard 😫 I can't stand it when babies and children are screaming and crying in shops - it makes me feel like I'm going crazy. And I hate it when supermarkets are crowded, I just can't even concentrate on what I need to buy. I actually like the smell of Lush! 😂

@etcwhatever

5 ай бұрын

The crowded supermarkets kill me. So i go to local small ones at the times people are less likely to invade them (meal times during the week). Bonus is that the staff gets used to see you so they are more friendly and have patience for my stuff organizing my groceries in the bags. I cant handle being rushed. Big supermarkets feel wrong specially when people on the queue are likely breathing on your neck. It doesnt help that i have an auto immune disease and take imunossupressants...those stupid people can give me a disease despite me wearing a mask. Not mentioning the mask also messes with my sensitivity (feeling it on my face, breathing is harder, steam going up my glasses 😂)

I am so worried as I don't have a family member who can say what I was like as a child. I am starting the process of seeking a diagnosis. I totally understand what you say about anxiety and stimming.

@EmmaNewmanAuthor

2 жыл бұрын

I was told that a friend who has known you for a long time can also take the place of a family member. There may not be as much information about early behaviours and milestones, but an external perspective from someone who's known you for a long time can still be very valuable.

@katyoduinn3452

Жыл бұрын

I went via the adult autism practice (they are Neurodivergent affirmative/led). I didn't need a family members word and I got diagnosed. Cost about 750 quid and includes reflective session after and one with 'thriving autistic'. (You need to be in UK or Ireland i think to go to them)

@unluckyomens370

2 ай бұрын

The place that diagnosed me didnt ask for other peoples testimony. The dude sat with me and was like anything you think I should know so i pulled iut the little google doc i wrote so my brain didnt just blank and told all that to him then we did an assessment where it was like true now, true when I was younger, true now and before, and never true i scored 153 then he wrote up a little thingy where like explained how they came to the conclusion mine has a bug emphasis in sensory issues but theres also a few lines in there about how he noticed my speech pattern “lurched” often and i started mimicking his word choice partway through. Then that expands into like how i explained my thoughts and feelings on hypothetical social situations. He didnt include it in the report but he told me the way I asked for clarification on nearly every question was enough for him when we were talking about

My english is not the best, but I,m so grateful for your video. The psychologists say I have GAD, and my Anxiety growing more and more. . I KNOW that`s Autism, but they refuse to give me investigation. I,m 61 years old and I got my bipolar 2 diagnosis 13 years ago. I have 6 children grown up and all of them have diagnosis. The Psychologists means it´s enough to have Bipolar 2. All that you describes is my everyday life. My anxiety depends of all the things my brain is not capable of . I live in Sweden and the research is bad, especially for women symptoms. the Psychologists refuse to`do new research. My help is to watch all I can find on youtube and teach myself to manage my everyday life

Not having sensory issues with lights or sounds is part of why I’ve doubted that I’m on the spectrum because it isn’t a trait I have. I grew up with 4 sisters and a mum who used to shout and scream at us everyday, so it was always noisy… I disassociate, day dream and go into my own “little world” which is how people described me growing up; “she’s in her own little world.” But I seek sensory experiences through physical stimming, word stimming, smell stimming, sound stimming. It could be ADD, I don’t know

@byuftbl

Жыл бұрын

“In their own world” is exactly how it is described in one language (can’t remember which…might be in Māori)

This was by far the best video to describe my life!! I’ve just been diagnosed on the spectrum at 48! I was also diagnosed with anxiety disorder in the past and never really believed it was that. I’m so grateful this is getting out about woman on the spectrum. I wonder how many more of us there is. I figure everyone who’s had that diagnostic of generalized anxiety disorder should look into maybe being on the spectrum. Thank you so much for sharing 🩶

Hello fellow croaky voice person 👋 The amount of times I've been asked if I have a cold during interviews or doctor visits, or any other situations I find stressful is almost comical. Thanks for sharing your journey.

I can smell when I'm approaching a Lush in a mall from seven stores away, haha. (I've always joked that I have the nose of a pregnant lady despite never being pregnant.) This video and your previous autism video have been really fascinating! You've inspired me to look further into autism in women and I'm wondering if I might also be on the spectrum.

Thank You 👍 I am 50 and just had my assessment this morning. I am waiting for the paperwork and to let it all sink in. I don't know what pointers I will get, but the NHS has declared that I am on the spectrum and he explained very well the issues I would have had at school and with social interactions. I find your voice excellent.

I think self compassion can and should be applied to mental illness as much as neurodiversity. It makes me sad that someone feels better about themself because they don’t really have a mental illness. Autism is not better than anxiety. Anxiety is not a weakness, or intrinsically bad, any more than autism is. All of the things learnt since the changed diagnosis could have been learnt by reflecting on experiences through the lens of the previous diagnosis. Being gentle and caring with oneself doesn’t require any diagnosis. Diagnoses are not as important as an individual’s experiences/symptoms and observing and learning about one’s own preferences and needs. I can learn from others with similar experiences without needing to spend a lot of money to get random labels.

This video and your other one about your late autism diagnosis has been extremely helpful to me. I've always just thought of myself as an anxious person but after my second breakdown at 31, I'm going through a similar process to yourself. The section in your video about disregulation really chimed with me, as I'm currently stranded in bed after spending the last three months describing my experience in words, as preparation for my assessment. I'm now 34, and my assessment is next week, so thank you for your videos, as I've found them in an anxious moment, and they've restored my confidence in the reality of what I've been going through.

Thank you so much for your talk Emma it has lifted me up and helped me and touched me. You also say you have dyspraxia. Below is a little of my own story. I hope it includes a point some might find adds to understanding. When I was young I had several traumas. At five the death of a father via a shotgun accident with talk that his hi insides had been blown out. At nine badly burned in a house fire spending a few months in hospital. At eleven being run over by a car thrown into the air and landing and screaming believing my limbs were very damaged, as well when arriving at a&e waking up from anaesthetic paralysed and believing I would be permanently but luckily it was just the drugs they gave me. As well there were varieties of long abuses. I have had long term mental illness. I was diagnosed with dyspraxia as an adult. It became obvious that the effects of the traumas covered up the problems to do with this. I believed co-ordination, attention and learning issues etc were caused by them. Checks and more checks revealed dyspraxia was part of me anyway. After a while it became obvious how one can compound with the other. The Professor of dyspraxia explained to me how they could compound. It took a while to learn. However I am learning even more. Understanding more about myself via self awareness and learning about others it is now obvious to me that the problems of living growing up with and living in the world with dyspraxia could of itself and by itself be difficult enough to cause mental illness simply on its own even without such traumas. Why do I want to say this, well sometimes could it be that people with more than one experience help to validate something by comparison. That is the mental health difficulties things can cause. I am learning yet again and at the moment lost for words as to all the stuff a I am finding out about on the internet thanks to people with lived experiences.

@fishinabox

3 жыл бұрын

Thank You Emma

I relate to an awful lot of what you say and to one of your Commenter's below @thisnthat42 . I have often wondered about myself but never actually spoken to anyone about it. I diagnosed myself with Social Anxiety. Thanks for helping me understand myself better I'm in my 60's now and have been like I am all my life w9ondering but too afraid I suppose of knowing, if that makes sense.

You’re so real❤️ I appreciate your honesty and showing vulnerability.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I have for a number of years considered myself as having social anxiety. I've sometimes wondered if my symptoms match autism but dismiss it as I just need to learn to "pull myself together". I do recognise that feeling of having to change modes depending on who I am talking to and sometimes worry if I start to relax and act like "me". Did I show them too much of what is behind the curtain? Regardless of whichever box I fit into I'm thankful for the reminder to be kinder to myself. After all we're all doing the best we can.

@thisnthat42

3 жыл бұрын

Also Lush is a nightmare. First they want to talk to you as soon as you walk through the door and secondly that smell is ridiculous, I can't imagine ever working there.

I distrust revelations - they can become over-valent, used to reinterpret everything. But, having watched you relate your experiences, I think I see why you feel such a relief. Your experiences and your understanding of yourself now map to each other better. Others will be in the same boat, unbeknownst - I hope they find their way to your video. Thank you for sharing it.

Thank you. This helps a lot as I start the assessment journey at 54 y/o. Much appreciated!

Hey Emma. I'm 52 and awaiting my NHS diagnosis appointment. So much of what you said today makes so much sense and our stories have many identical themes. Thank you so much for sharing, it means so much.

I relate very much to what you are saying. I have also suffered with anxiety, sensitivity to things in the environment, feeling of being completley overwhelmed by places, situations and emotions ..... Recently I was reading something about autism and started to wonder if I could be autistic. I tried to look into how to get a diagnosis and saw that it costs $1000s of dollars where I live. So terrible that healthcare is so expensive. I don't think I will be persueing a diagnosis now. I can't help but wonder though if it explains all of my many "issues."

I was diagnosticated with both (ASD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and late in life, like you. I was 44 also, now I'm 45 and a mom of 2 autistic kids. Your video has helped me understand better. Thank you.

For the supermarket situation. I can highly recommend noise canceling headphones. They do wonders for me, when I have to go to the supermarket. I always have my groceries list, so I don't have to do the decision in the supermarket.

Your “croaky” voice is really good at communicating how you feel. I enjoyed listening to your voice. It had emotion and warmth. And thank you for sharing your thoughts. This is really helpful.

I get that shop. I find it hard to walk past shops like that.

Thank you for being brave enough to post this. It's about 6 months after my diagnosis at 46 years old. Almost everything you said sounded like something I could have said myself. I will say that the diagnosis was absolutely worth it and I know that because of the discomfort I'm feeling right now looking back at my life and trying to understand and have empathy for what I was experiencing. I just wanted to say thank you and I subscribed because I think I'm going to learn a lot from you. I wish I could find more people like us. I feel so alone and I'm not even like the other autistics that I find because of the late diagnosis It's like I managed to be coming outside or among the outsiders.. not really, but sometimes it feels like that. But then I find videos like this one and I cry because I know what you went through

@tomsale5142

6 ай бұрын

Late diagnosed to 43 a sons just been diagnosed this week do you have heds just list my mum to severe ms obvously had Asperger's heds the reason best folks are autistic and caring in there own ways to I have fybromyalgia from it all ime sure

I've watched this and your previous video about your diagnosis and I can relate so closely to a lot of what you say. I'm also 44. I've not got my autism diagnosis yet but I was also diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder (and depression) about 12 years ago and now, learning more about autism, I can see it is much more likely to be explained by me being on the spectrum. I'm a man but I seem to relate more closely to the experiences a lot of ASD women describe, about being good at masking and how my issues have been mostly hidden from view.

Same! 🙋‍♀️ diagnosed as GAD now 45 years old....autism n adhd....ohhhh was also told when diagnosed with GAD apparently depression n learning disabilities as well.. I would say but I'm not sad lol I've always been overly optimistic in even the most serious circumstances.... Since I started low dose of medication...it was although the world 🌎 has been lifted off of my shoulders! Emotional regulation and not taking on others energy (*"ur just to sensitive lol).... has been empowering to say the least and today my confidence and ability to express self better *not in the moment w response but am able to say....I need to process or ill can I get bak to you ...etc.... Thank you for discussion. 💗N the most crucial piece to this all...is I'm not ashamed to have or show emotions anymore.

This is so helpful... I recognise almost everything you've described in my own responses and behaviours. Actually your previous video was the final nudge for me to start my own assessment process (2-year waiting list, so it'll be a while) So, thank you for posting this 😊

This is very interesting so thank you for sharing. Your two videos parallel my experience of being quite closely with one major difference. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Autism. Unlike you I didn't know I was anxious so getting the GAD diagnosis was very surprising and actually extremely helpful. I have very low interoceptive feedback so I now wear a biometric device to alert me when my heart is racing and my energy is being zapped. This device has also helped me identify my intellectualised anxiety from sensory Overwhelm. I'm sharing that as it was interesting to hear your experience of feeling all the feels and now not so much resonating with GAD whereas I did the opposite. Just shows how different yet similar we all are.

Diagnosed at 58 and one year in and now I have hit imposter syndrome triggered by my older sister finding out not from me..I might add..reminded me she worked with autistic kids for 15 years and she doesn't believe my diagnosis and thinks I should forget about it . what does that clinical psych know right ! Bummed out.

I’m so glad you got your diagnosis in the end and it has helped. Thanks very much for making the video. As the mother of an autistic teenager I found it very interesting. Love the duck videos too!

I am so impressed with you for getting through explaining all of this. It makes a lot of sense.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I resonate so much with this. I am currently struggling with strongly suspecting being autistic myself and at the same time having doctors who do not want to hear anything about these suspicions. They always try to trace everything back to anxiety and depression and I keep telling them I am not that depressed. I am constantly at the risk of being sucked back into a depressive episode but I have become really good at recognising the signs for that early on and I am mostly able to avoid the worst of it. I have just learned through years of experience that there are certain things that just stress me out way too much so if they are not completely necessary I avoid doing them in order to save my energy for more important stuff. However the doctors try to explain this with anxiety saying "oh you are just afraid that it will stress you out. This is just how you imagine this will go. You just have to do it and then you will see that it's not actually that bad and then it will get easier." They simply do not seem to be listening when I try to tell them that that is what I have been doing for about 30 years because I always thought this was how it was supposed to be done and that this in my opinion is the main reason why I am now unemployed and unable to find a job I can work full time because my batteries run out way too quickly and take way too long to recharge just to then very quickly be drained again... I really don't know what to do anymore

Hello, just commenting to say thank you so much for making this video! I am also a long-term "Anxiety" sufferer, who is now seeking a late diagnosis of adult autism. It's hard to make the distinction at times, as the symptoms are similar, but the reasoning is different, and they require different therapies. I did not know the word 'disregulation' before - that really helps! I relate so much to what you're saying, and this is a great video for teaching people about the everyday neurological differences of autism in a relatable way.

thank you so so much for your videos. just stumbled accross them as i am currently researching whether i might be in the spectrum (been convinced for a while but need to research before OPTing for an assessment) and also too many friends keep telling me "you could never be autistic" but they don't know my struggles ( very similar to yours, i am also a writer as well!). they don't understand how so many are off-radar because we learn all these behaviours, etc. i have nobody to talk about this as nobody has any broader knowledge about this, so here i am. kuddos to you! happy you're in a much better place now (where i hope to be soon haha)

Fascinating! I can relate to a lot of this.

I am 54 and am now waiting for a full NHS autism assessment. I was referred nearly a year ago now. It's a very anxious time because I don't know what the outcome will be.

Lush - yes always overwhelming I never can go there

I'm still in the starting out stage of trying to get my symptom/traits difficulties sorted out in my head and onto paper while waiting for my 2 girls who are 13 & 11 to have an ASD assessment and for my son who is 9 to have an ADHD assessment, they are still on the waiting list with the NHS and various papers need filling in still for them every few months. While filling in papers for them I'm coming to the conclusion that I need to be assessed possibly for ASD and ADHD after filling several questionnaires online and always coming up with the result that I am highly likely to have both seek a professional, I am just starting out on my own journey. Life is so hard to navigate, I'm 46 now and I feel I need to do this for me (mainly) and my kids and husband too. I think it's very brave of you to do videos like this, I would not find it easy and I just wanted to say thank you, it's giving me the encouragement I need to continue to seek a diagnosis and start that journey. 😊

Thanks for sharing so deeply, meaning your thoughts and expression not your voice haha! I feel so grateful for your generosity.

Thank you Emma❤❤❤

Emma, you are wonderful and quite courageous, and your posts are so greatly appreciated!

thank you so much for this video!

Massive hugs and welcome to a very warm and lovely community! X

Panic, fear, fight or flight.

I'm number 999, yay. Y can't u just b normal, yeah that is a mean question to ask ourselves, it's harsh. It's hard being self compassionate. I'm so happy for u. I think that I'm autistic too, adult diagnosis isn't available publicly here so I guess I won't b getting it, can't afford it

Thank you Emma, your videos are really helpful to me, as I'm sure they are for others. I related to everything you described here, though some in different scenarios. It's been very helpful for me to figure out myself, though I am far too anxious about going through diagnosis process at the moment, I just know my self diagnosis is right. One day I will, but already the light bulb moments, making sense of the past, and knowing I'll understand the future better, is such a relief. I knew that previous depression diagnosis didn't quite fully explain everything, but I could never quite put my finger on what it was, and just took it to be my failure of character, which was quite self destructive. Yes it allows us to be more gentle and understanding with ourselves, to ease some of the frustrations and experiences, hopefully others will too. I'm about the same age too (45) and only just figuring this out. I can look back more kindly at my past, like myself more in the present, and let myself be who I am. Thanks again Lovely lady 💞

Emma I honestly feel your video and the understanding the experiences you have so wonderfully described will be life changing for me at aged 43. I too have had a GAD diagnosis (years ago) and I can’t put into words how much your journey has resonated with mine. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your struggles. I’ll share this video and I know it will help a lot of people like myself who have been feeling without hope or a future. I’ve made the first steps to exploring an autism diagnosis and now I know I’m doing the right thing. Sending love xx

The understanding part, like you said, is a huge deal! Understanding yourself and what and why and how are all intensely important. ❣️

You have a lovely laugh! Thankyou for sharing 💐

You are doing great!!!!!!! Thank you so much 😍 Mexican autistic mom of an autistic 19 year old... I was just diagnosed a few months ago, I am 46... And now we also know my dad is autistic, he is 73... Ja! This is great info because I always thought I lived with anxiety ALWAYS and only now I am catching all this you are sharing in me... Ans it is a HUGE DIFFERENCE #MenosMiedoMásAmor

Emma I am ever so pleased to find you here even if not for the circumstances. Me being me I have to do things differently. I have just joined the autism society mailing list. I was with some friends one of whom offered me a holistic massage using chakras and such. At the end of the treatment, the Autism question came up and she suggested I was at a low level and should get diagnosed. Well I thought nothing of it. This was about 15 years ago Since then I have publicly come out as transgender MtF - in 2017- Im still waiting for treatment to begin...Yes THAT Raychel. Lol. Well now after viewing your 2 video's I feel like I'm having a huge Meetoo moment right down to several panic attacks with palpitations and everything that brings.Theres so much I could mention here about where the similarities are, so I will just say that I'm happy that at last you have a diagnosis that allows you to live a better life and you LOOK absolutely lovely.

I am really pleased for you,great news take care

Thank you!

Hello thank you for these videos! I find this extremely relatable and helpful. I was diagnosed with BD at 19 (big breakdown in uni, classic). I’ve also developed vivid imagination and creativity as a coping mechanism since childhood. I was hyperlexic and was able to teach myself to read before school. All these three wiring responses you described about yourself are so similar to my experience. I used to think I was just moody and neurotic. Turns out sensory inputs and social demands are just too much for me and I didn’t know that. I thought that’s rapid mood swings. I thought I had no empathy and was a horrible human being, turns out I just experience empathy differently. I’m in my late 20s now and beginning to understand myself and the possibility of ASD and ADHD. Your experience really solidified my understanding of myself being possibly autistic. Thank you! (I can’t afford an assessment right now but are in the process of accessing therapy and talk to a counsellor about this.)

Thank you Emma From the core of my ❤ for your beautiful being.You are easy to listen to and have a great way explaining how it is.I really feel a big weight off my chest listening to people who Are going through similar.Its not simple to express the almost unexplainable.I found a gold needle in a haystack with your channel.❤ Your heart and mission.

Yes, your story is also mine. Makes me look too fussy/weird to people. Not good. Leaves me alone a lot.

I remembered that my mother could not walk through the aisle displaying assorted scented candles in the shops!!

Thank you :)

Relatable. So relatable.

Can someone explain how late stage capitalism (which often refers to a new mix of high-tech advances, the concentration of (speculative) financial capital, post-Fordism, and a growing income inequality) and patriarchy (a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it) has affected the process of getting a diagnosis and support? For me, my late diagnosis in my 50s, after 33 years struggling with various DSM labels has been due to the governments of all political flavors treating the NHS as a free for all, turning many, (including myself for 15 years) into victims who need to act out suicidal thoughts in order to get attention rather than for those who cannot afford medical / psychological treatment / therapy. This was why for my parents and grandparents the NHS was a godsend. It soon morphed into an unrealistic fount of all medical treatment. This contributed to the administrative cash cow mess it is in now. This is why I have had to pay for my ASD or my preferrable label of Autism Spectrum Condition. So is it because society has grown to expect everyone to have luxuries which, before WW2, only the wealthy could afford, like holidays abroad and the latest clothing and technology? I think a return to contentment with the basics is key to the frustration and discontent with life which expecting everyone to have equal outcomes in life causes. Comparing my lack of career success, (despite a high IQ, due to my autistic and traumatised childhood) with other people neurotypical people's careers is futile and prevents any progress I may make in finding work which suits my social, emotional and sensory needs. It has made me more frustrated to expect other people to adapt to me. I need to be the better person for my life first. Health education for self care needs to be a primary focus from school age into old age, rather than dependence on the state. Then those who really need the help from the majority taxpayers who fund the government can get as much as they need for a sociable society, rather than politically centrally enforced state government.

I got both

I've explained this 'subroutines' thing you say here, filling a role, how to behave, NOTHING is automatic to people and their great, super helpful advice almost universally is... "Try not doing that!" I really don't think they understand, so I can't be mad at them, but it IS laughable how much they don't relate, then. It's not a choice. It's not me putting something 'over' 'natural' behavior. It's like trying to tell music to just try not having a beat or a computer program to try not requiring an operating system. It's fundamentally not possible without total shutdown that transforms my entire being into being essentially nothing. If I was what people have described to me as acting natural, I would do nothing. I would sit still and push thoughts from my brain. I would be essentially catatonic. That, by their definition, is my natural state. I'm not making it up. I'm not being hyperbolic. I have 33 years of experience with my own brain, I know it better than literally anyone else in this way. Yes I've tried, and no it didn't work. There are ALTERNATIVE techniques that DO help though, like re-framing my analysis so that I can run less and less 'requirements' on my behavior to make multiple stimulus less overwhelming. THAT helps. Being told to 'try less' simply does nothing. Anyway, love hearing this from someone else!

I find going to Lush stores very unpleasant. I love the colours of all the bath bombs but the smell is so strong it makes me feel awful and very uncomfortable.

Im so glad you finally found out youre autistic ❤ Why is lush the worst 😂 the actual shop is sooo overwhelming 😭😂

I've been diagnosed with GAD but have a therapist suggesting I may be extremely well masking autistic. unsure which to believe. I have had many of the same experiences as you have (i love lush but going to the stores is flipping a coin on the ol' panic attack-o-meter). I'm in my 30s, socially, I don't have any issues - except for strangers who I am always very awkward with and also I have found people for whom english is not their first language seem to find it very difficult to understand me, but I have no idea why. I find that I excell beyond peers in relation to critical thinking, problem solving, lateral thinking etc, but I struggle with mental arithmetic, short term memory & focus/concentration. I'm toying with an NHS diagnosis, but believe it takes a long time - something I dont have much spare of. What real value has anyone had with a late diagnosis?

Thank you! Very helpful. I think your British stiff upper lip is very much like our western USA cowboy toughness.

Didn't notice the croak! (and I notice everything!) :)

Thank you. Early 50s and making the same self discoveries.

I appear to be going through the same, Emma, who was the Psychiatrist that diagnosed you for complex ptsd/autism? I think it may be helpful for me to contact them regarding an assessment for myself.

I have a really hard going into grocery stores.

This is me also ... wow

What can we do even if we haven’t been diagnosed or if we have it be easier on ourselves to get things done more pleasant for others yet not pass his life over the press. It’s just a whole do you know what it’s very lonely. Very very lonely and I realize when I was younger and depressed and passive somehow was more pleasant for people to be around because I didn’t. I don’t know I’m just wondering, just not like you get all the behavioral feedback I just don’t know how to do all this at 50 the other hard part is I don’t even have the bandwidth to search for the right resources. I still have to look for a job and I’ve been good but on the other thing is just you know I have to work still don’t have a job and it cost a lot of money and I read the books but I also it’s just not practice I don’t know nothings working.

❤❤❤❤

7:09 7 or 8 hour long assesment process?!?!

🙏👏💪

🤙🏼

25:00

У моей подруги, как оказалось, аутизм😢

So do you think you are on the spectrum or full on Autistic? I have told that I have GAD, but after watching this maybe I have always had aspburgers. I am 54 so yeah, diagnosis would be late in the game at this point. Antidepressants never helped me.