Sometimes I want to wish something bad on a narcissist that broke my heart,then I listen to Professor Vaknin’s videos and realize that being a narcissist is a punishment in itself

@juliaaap922

7 ай бұрын

Wow so interesting how you said it “ being a narcissist is a punishment itself” that is so true and sad

@Renren625

7 ай бұрын

God damn right about that..

@Renren625

7 ай бұрын

@@joephillips7612 I am freshly out of being discarded..I still love my ex narcissist.. I hate it so much the pain of being in love with a performance it really is awful.. i want him back but I know too that I can’t ever get him back.. at least ur self aware.. I wish he was

@SunflowerBeeHappy

7 ай бұрын

But they know what they are doing and that it's harmful to others so they have a choice but don't care.

@observer888

7 ай бұрын

​@@Renren625don't worry. Your narcissist will still want you eventually. They hover you and after some time they come back if they see you're willing to give them supply

I legit believe I am one...was faced with some hard facts about myself last year and just feel ashamed and exposed. Mood swings, hyper vigilance and projection occurred. Looked at all my last relationships, all fell apart because of me. The only thing is I've never had some sense of grandiosity or that I am superior, or had self love. I just want to be normal. I want to right my wrongs and be forgiven for my mistakes and do better. I want this God awful feeling of worthlessness to go away

@sarahnp490

6 ай бұрын

Really is best to get quality therapeutic help. Wanting to change reveals a lot about your who you are and it helps to have the guidance.

@Whipporwhill

Сағат бұрын

Narcissists do not feel guilty or sadness over broken relationships. That you do, is a good indication that you are NOT one. You recognize your faults & you desire help. That's the opposite of a narc. I do hope you seek help on the issues you do have. We all need that.

This is more complicating and interesting than one can think. I was listening to this and I’m like “ holy shit” this sounds crazy! Tormenting oneself , interacting with oneself to make sure there is an audience, man…. Psychology and human behavior is some kind of bizarre non ending psychosis. Shoot! 😮

@cody_go_create

6 ай бұрын

Currently happening for me

This is insightful. My narcissistic father sort of lost touch with reality when he got older. Maybe this is what happened to him. He has always been very unpredictable, I think because he mainly interacts with internal objects instead of real ones. Now he is much worse, and I wouldn't go near him even if I got a million dollars to do so. There is nothing left but anger, envy and different schemes.

I found you 10 years ago, Professor Vaknin, after escaping a dangerous narcissist. This person never let me go, and stalked me for a decade. When I explained to friends that this person would eventually kill himself, and take out whomever he’s near at the time, people thought I was overdramatizing. In January of this year he turned 50, while living with his parents. In June he murdered them, and killed himself. Thank you for your teachings, which kept me safe. I appreciate you.

@B-Nia

7 ай бұрын

😳😳😳😳

@jennifermariejoyce

6 ай бұрын

@@B-Nia Exactly.

@Bohbihbah

5 ай бұрын

Ok

@jennifermariejoyce

2 ай бұрын

@@brada-smith2807 Thank you so much. I left a decade before the incident. Now that I’m truly safe I realize how scared I was that whole time. Happy to still be here 🩵

This is me exactly, im self aware and literally going through this right now

Oh my goodness, my narc is in a schizoid avoidant phase, and stays in bed all day for years now.

Born and raised by a (what I now know) was a borderline single mom. I indeed as a 4-5-6-? year old child developed this kind of internal world were I could have multiple relationships with not only my more "normal" mother but also all other people that I either meet or saw on the TV. I clearly remember how I converted the loneliness to this kind of avatar-like relationship with the outside world. It keept me sane and eventually made me extremely self sufficient never truly needing other people's resources or company evendo I had/have a pretty normale life. But I also walk the earth filled with all these NPC's around me (for a lack of a better word). But I still feel like I have a SELF. I feel so much empathy that other people's pain can actually hurt me. Great art or even music can make me spontaneous cry or feel alive. What makes a SELF fales and not "real" ??? I am trying to understand this evendo I am now pretty convinced I live in my own narcissistic-bubble. (Which I am also suspecting everyone else to be living in) - P.S: Your yt videos are extremely important (and funny ;) . Thanks.

@Sarakujal

7 ай бұрын

Do you desire praise / external validation? If you are self-sufficient maybe you're just a loner with a rich fantasy. Or perhaps schizoid. You call other people NPCs, which is kinda dismissive, even if you said you struggle for a better term. If you're a person who keeps to himself, living in his own head, wouldn't you appear as an NPC to other people, even moreso than the average person?

@energyisenergy

7 ай бұрын

@@charlesscholton5252 You should chime in more often.

@observer888

7 ай бұрын

From what you describe, I'd say you're more like borderline with some narcissistic characteristics. These things as Sam Vaknin often says, are interchangeable. I know this from myself too. False self is when you know that the "character" and persona you project to the world outside is different than your authentic spontaneous self if there is any left . Morals about dividing issues, boundaries, personal opinions, life attitude, all seem fluid. Like there's no real self to hold on to...🙄

@ArtEveryday-mm1cg

6 ай бұрын

Hey friend, this also sounds very similar to an avoidant attachment style, which commonly results from feeling fearful of unstable adult caregivers. It results in one having fierce independence and separation from others. (“If you want it done right, do it yourself” attitude) and this self-focus and self protection can sometimes be mistaken as narcissism from afar.

We will never voluntarily face it. The best we can do is set an inescapable trap of no hope and make sure we fall into it.

Thank you for helping me understand what he was thinking. I actually found some of his writings and he gave a glimpse into what narcissistic supply felt like for him. Supply was hard for me to understand, but I get it now. His level of vindictiveness makes me realize how lucky I am to be alive.

That’s so true. He cut the connection and disappeared. After he came back he said he is in depression. He he was ashamed about a topic which we talked before he disappeared.

Well done. I witnessed someone go through this. I think she shifted from covert to grandiose.

@horiboyablemgtow7842

6 ай бұрын

Interesting you should say this. My wife was definitely a covert narc but in her 40s became grandiose, very strange. I tore her mask from her and exposed her for what she is. She seems to be in a process of destroying herself at the moment, she has caught 3 stds and lost her job because she was having an affair with her bosses married best friend after sleeping with the boss..... my attitude is do not interfere when the enemy is in the process of destroying themselves. I do fear for my own welfare but in my own judgement she will destroy herself before me because coverts at heart are bullies and have no backbone.

Sam Vaknin this is all true. Wish you all the best. Dijana Matjan from Slovenija 😊😊😊

So eve tho I am not there and we are divorcing he still interacts with the avatar he created of me in his mind? I have seen this cycle you speak of. Schizo cycle was what almost cost me my life…. The man was meek and mild mannered until that day….he turned into someone I have never seen or known before. I pray for his peace. For anyone experiencing this please get out!

I’m a narcissist too!

Grata!

Ex texted catfished photos of his "son," got caught, ran. Came back 7 months later pretending to be someone else.

Thank you professor for your insights! What most likely triggers the phase of self-exposure to the introjects?

@samvaknin

7 ай бұрын

Time to watch the video.

@th00bond93

7 ай бұрын

@@stingylizard wait what

Hi Sam can you give some examples of what the internal stalking dialogue etc at is it a fantasy thing?

@jacobsta1

5 ай бұрын

Please note typo instead of at it should say looks like

My God, they are really sicks

I'm a narcissist?

@polespinosa4858

7 ай бұрын

@@PyramidofGeezer If I am not then my mother and my ex are. Is it ok to think that? I was diagnosed with high functioning autism. Maybe we are all autistic. Maybe I'm becoming a narc. But I feel like reactive abuse is just an excuse, just as my diagnosis. Maybe I'm the bad guy. I believe I unmasked my mother. Now she is trying to play nice. I've been gaslighted and played for over a year by my ex. She denies everything. The thing is that she denies that anything took place. I've been texting her last months While she replied with songs in her Spotify. I am going insane? Or she did it to deny accountability? Now she discarded me when I found out she had found "the love of her life" through social media, confronted about it and left her. I made the mistake of contacting the man in question, I wanted to warn him, but just ended up saying hi. Now she denies everything, calls me a stalker and threatens prosecution. She had tried numerous smear campaigns before, that didn't work. Now it's different. And I don't want or think I can fool her to keep me as supply. I don't think I even find her attractive anymore but I feel broken, empty and worthless. What if I'm just going insane?

@potathoedudek3211

7 ай бұрын

@@PyramidofGeezer This is a popular stereotype but it's not true. A narcissist might accept their narcissism as yet another reason they're superior to other people, or use that insight to fit his overall narrative, or simply as a tool to understand his psyche better. What he doesn't want to do, is admit that he's wrong , that he's worse/inferior or that he's a bad person. And usually being a narcissist or having a disorder in general implies many of these things, but one can view narcissism as just a "different wiring" and in narcissist's case, he might like to believe he's a narc, because it's better to feel like a predator than prey. That means he's domineering, can manipulate others and use them like pawns. And that is exactly what he wants to be. Because that justifies his omnipotent fantasies and feeds his need to feel special. Narcissism is only 3 % of the population so that's a perfect ego-boost.

What do you mean by phase? What happens to the narcissist next?

@deborahbailey8246

7 ай бұрын

He speaks of cycles…. I have witnessed it first hand. You do not want to see it unfold.

@samvaknin

7 ай бұрын

Search the channel and its playlists.

Sir, is there something positive that comes from being in a narcissistic relationship?

@samvaknin

6 ай бұрын

Self-awareness, if you let it.

@user-jt3so9kb1l

6 ай бұрын

@@samvaknin Sir, I also think that our inner, hidden, suppressed dark side is exposed when we are in a relationship with the narcissist...and somewhere we all want to be loved....so lovebombing and repetition of all lovey dovey words by the narcissists makes us feel "special" and wanted...so, we all so called victims are also to a certain degree narcissists

@samvaknin

6 ай бұрын

@@user-jt3so9kb1l I think that you should watch the shared fantasy playlist.

@user-jt3so9kb1l

6 ай бұрын

@@samvaknin Sir, will do that... Really delighted to see your videos and love the honesty and sincerity with which you handle all the topics..

@user-jt3so9kb1l

6 ай бұрын

Sir, was never able to fully understand Kafka's "The Trial"...but, in one of your videos you have referred to this surreal text....many thanks for making such difficult concepts understandable in a literary way....