Sam. How on earth do you manage such a mind boggling volume, depth and breadth, and still have that uncanny level of quality. I salute you sir, and am sure your name and contributions will be remembered long from now, and amongst the elite of thinkers. Probably stroking your ego a little beyond the healthy level, but then again, credit where credit is due. No point calling a Lion a cat to keep it humble. Many thanks.

@NickGreiner1988

Жыл бұрын

Why don't you just go round there now and stick your tongue STRAIGHT down the back of his trousers!?

we cope by isolating ourselves...

Simply saying out loud "Cancel Thought" is incredibly helpful.

@yeahnahsweetas

Жыл бұрын

It's probably good to try cultivate the ability to just say that in your mind rather than out loud, and eventually just cancel those thoughts without needing to consciously think those words

My preferred strategy to deal with anxiety is to re-write reality or selectively forget. It helps me feel better in the sort term, but in the long term causes me to adopt and stick with strategies which do not work expecting outcomes which never arrive. It also causes me to believe dangerous situations are safe, so I expose myself to unnecessary danger. I am working very hard to improve my reality testing, but living in reality is painful, so I have to be watchful that I don't slip back too often.

Professor, are we seeing a higher percentage of the population being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorders? If so, is this because professionals are better at diagnosing? Or, is humanity creating more mentally ill from both environmental and hereditary factors? Is the percentage of psychopaths in our population growing?

@samvaknin

Жыл бұрын

No, No, Yes, Yes.

@alyciamarie4163

Жыл бұрын

@@frcomet5009 so cortisol?

@christycomer373

Жыл бұрын

Anxiety occurs when they are going somewhere, family party ( not his side)… when they don’t know what to expect or what questions may be asked…. They always need to know ahead of time what will transpire, or if asked a question …because they need to google how to answer or how to react. If asked a question they aren’t prepared for they stare at you like a deer in the headlights….. It’s soooooo bizarre. He would be getting ready to go to such an outing… not his side of family ….. he’d come out of shower and ask me, what time are we gonna be leaving there? I could see the panic & anxiety , never knew at that time what he was and I would laugh and ask , why are you asking me when we are leaving when we hadn’t even left to go yet!!! Such fear of the unknown and not knowing how to react if asked a question. I knew something all those years ago that something was very wrong….. His behavior and reactions to things & situations were sooooo “off”!!! It took me years , lots of research to finally figure it out…. You have helped me soooooo much…. I have learned sooooo much from your videos… you have saved my life His Mother is a nightmare….. narcissist Mother & Father…. Sexual abuse and letting babies cry for hours…. I NEVER EVER let her watch my kids…. She always wanted them to sleep over….. I knew inside I would never leave my babies in her care….. It recently came out she was sexually abused by her Father… and she was accused of molesting one of her Grandchildren. Thank God I listened to my intuition.

@bobhope5114

Жыл бұрын

​@@averagebodybuilder only if you were operating under the delusion of a universe that caters to your sensibilities. Otherwise... it's just another Tuesday.

Hi Professor Vaknin I have enjoyed watching several of your lectures, but this one in particular has me understanding behavior as never before. I am 70, and in my life, I have met teachers, bosses, and others who have exploded into an unexpected rage as well as other odd behaviors. Your explanation of the soul-crushing anxiety driving their other wise inexplicable behavior enables me to experience a degree of forgivness or at least patience, that has proviously eluded me. There was this one disciplinarian assistant principal who studied my science project ( a telegraph station, kludged out of parts thrown in the trash) when I was nine years old. He flew into a rage exclaiming that I was a cheat! He insisted my father must have assembled it. His behavior was so excessive that the principal took him aside and spoke to him. I now suppose he mentioned to him that my father did not live at home, and his response was uncalled for. The principal asked me to explain the project and I did, pointing out the various parts and how the current moved between them. Until your lecture I had just assumed the assistant principal ( Patrick Mahoney) did not understand electricity well (he used the word juce for current and thought the splices were a problem becuase ‘juce could leak out’. I had always thought he was having trouble beliving a child could do somthing he could not. The principal Dr Fitzpatrick, was sensible enough to quiz me and demonstrate that I did understand the project ( reality testing is good). There was no convincing Mr Mahoney. Oddly for a child I admired my best friend bakng soda vinigar volcano, and he volunteered that his mother had made it for him. Internal terror driven behavior is certianly enough to drive an educator to forget himself. He had no idea how many hours and weekends I spent on my varous projects and the joy of seeing the worried looks on adult faces as they looked over my projects. Thank you Professor.

Many thanks Prof Vaknin for posting all the videos. They are very helpful.

Thank you! Big time

Thank you Prof.Vaknin. This is very helpful, useful knowledge and guidance.🌷

I have OCD and my ritual is trying to injure myself in various ways. I'm not masochistic or suicidal and I'm not recieving any pleasure from it. It's the opposite: I'm very afraid of these urges to hit myself in the vital organs, yet sometimes can't resist. I've recieved treatment, that solved the problem partially, but not completely. I've never had a serious injury, so there's no psychological trauma associated with injuries. But I do have a narcissistic trauma (officially diagnosed). I'm definitely suffering from anxiety, but I have no idea why my ritual is to try and harm my body. The obsessive thought I have is: "I need to test how far I can go, before I can do serious harm", but I'm never satisfied, because in order to find out, I need to do serious harm, and that's where my self preservation instinct kicks in. I understand that it will probably never let me do anything too serious, but these urges are very exhausting and scary to deal with.

Very helpfull thanks

Professor thank you for your work and effort! It was as if a mist had been lifted from my eyes... Would you mind making a video about borderline and narcissistic parenting styles and how they affect children cognitively, emotionally and behaviorally? What happens to the borderline and the narcissist when they get older? Thank you again! 🙏

Thank you for the invaluable information!

Im only anxious when i need to do something and cant get it done ....then i get real freakin anxious

So far this is interesting I have it very bad inside. When it gets bad I think someone’s gonna come to my car with a gun or think somethings happening to my kids and it’s makes me shake and I get angry sometimes because I’m so confused and stressed

@prathameshborkut5340

Жыл бұрын

Ohh that's sadd....J too have a very bad inside

@xisotopex

Жыл бұрын

thats not anxiety, thats paranoia.

Subconscious anxiety causes me complex partial seizures of the temporal lobe. How I discovered i have epilepsy is because these mild seizures were causing me to have health anxiety before I knew what they were, it caused a feedback loop but the day i walked into the doctor and said "there is something wrong" these seizures stopped because I felt so much less anxious knowing that when I convinced the doctor to write me referral for MRI and EEG, I was going to get to the bottom of what these strange feelings were. Before I was diagnosed I was having these moments almost daily, they stopped completely from when i went to the doctor up until a few weeks later, when I was diagnosed tgey put me on medication for a week, naturally, still no seuzures for another 10 days until I was waiting to go into the operating room to have neurosurgery to remove a lesion on my brain, naturally I was very anxious about having brain surgery so that was the last time I had one of those seizures, even though I was on an anti epileptic at that time. I have not had one for 5 years. I am absolutely certain that underlying anxiety was causing my seizures to flare up. I always felt much more relaxed after having had one, it was like there was a bottle in my body that was slowly being filled up by anxiety and the moment it overflowed and reset, it eventuated in thise type of minor seizure.

Good stuff.

3:15 “mentally ill people don’t cope with anxiety the same way that you do”. 🤔 Funny you’d assume “I” am not mentally ill. ;)

Before watching: I don't have a problem with anxiety. After watching: Damn, I consist of anxiety.

Is there a correlation with personality disorders and auto immune disorders that are out of control? My husband has RA and even methotrexate is not helping. I suspect narcissistic abuse from previous years and left until he decided to get therapy. His abusive behavior is better, but im afraid it's being internalized and eating him alive

Dr. Vaknin, is secondary psychopathy ever a feature of extreme codependence? Thank you.

@samvaknin

Жыл бұрын

No.

Answer: We don't cope at all.

Dr. Do you have video, resources about how to deal with academic procrastination?

@samvaknin

Жыл бұрын

No.