How I Overcame An Abusive Relationship
In this episode of Unfiltered Stories, we tell the story of Michelle Brinn, a military woman who fell victim to an abusive relationship. After moving in with her now-ex-husband, Michelle later realized that he had been controlling her and had begun to act violently and abusively toward her.
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I was married to narcassist and the best gift i gave to myself was walking away and never look back. The blessing was that we did not have children together 🙏 I've recreated a magical life. I met my soulmate three years after the divorce and have 2 beautiful daughters which were raised in a loving, peaceful home. ✨️🙌✨️
@angelalogan3637
2 ай бұрын
❤
@gabriellemaes4078
Ай бұрын
I was with the poor devil for 16 years. Didn't have children with him Thanks be to God. It was bad enough as it was. Exposing a biological child to it would have been a million times worse. Very very happy now. Got a protective order and went completely incognito. It's the only thing that you can do to save your soul. Because they are possessed.
@tracyannaleclair9320
Ай бұрын
How did you tell him you wanted a divorce did you use a lawyer?
@teresafraser3049
Ай бұрын
@@tracyannaleclair9320 I had papers served to him
@kape2469
Ай бұрын
Why are so many US men such psychos?
Heavy persistence is a sign of entitlement which is the root to abuse
@ktrain-hj6jm
4 ай бұрын
Well said!
@goddesstreasure
2 ай бұрын
💯💯💯
@Vixinaful
Ай бұрын
Yeah, they always stalk.
The fact that your parents believed your abuser over you is just mind-boggling! How could they not believe their own over a stranger?
@Plentiful_living_
Жыл бұрын
It’s quite common believe it or not is the easy way for them to clean their hands and not assumed any responsibility
@violetsrayreikishop2
Жыл бұрын
It's called being manipulated by a master manipulator. They probably thought he was such a nice guy and thought she was over thinking things.
@gogiphum915
11 ай бұрын
They very good at it trust me, my bby daddy hates me bcos I called him out when he was trying to pull that stunt on my daughter, and honestly I can believe my daughter bcos Im well informed of him being a gas lighter otherwise I wouldint have. They can be quite convincing
@reverendpaterson1026
8 ай бұрын
also you only have one part of the story, there might be a missing puzzle piece or two here that could make it more justifiable.
@jackiep5009
3 ай бұрын
Says a lot about the “safety” of the parents as well. Cycles of abuse
Only someone who's experienced this kind of abuse understands the shear craziness of it all and how dibilitating it is. So grateful you found your way out and are reclaiming yourself, the real authentic and beautiful you, Its a journey for sure.
As a parent I hope to God that I would ask for more info about why someone wants to come home rather than say "oh, but you're happy there", and I would NEVER take the word of their spouse and would ALWAYS talk to my kid directly and in a safe, separate place.
@user-cy4vw1qj9m
Ай бұрын
Your child could hide it and he would be very charming to you but a different with your daughter. We can all day what we would do until it happens to us.
@Mrscarricom
Ай бұрын
This happens if the child is a trouble child and the parents may not want them to come back home, or the child makes their new life sound so awesome a parent may think its just a fender bender dent and not a major reck
I decided to watch this because the title said gaslighter and I’m trying to learn more about that but oh my god! This woman was abused SO severely! Psychologically, emotionally, financially, physically and sexually with the repeated rapes! I’m so glad she is telling her story and is free of that absolute torture! 🧡
Am watching this after ending my abusive marriage
@kimberlyjohnson-clark2886
2 ай бұрын
Good for you❤ let the healing begin. Stay Safe...
As an abuse victim. You never are the same again. They never break your spirit. They do break something in you though. The ptsd lasts for decades.
@LilithsCosmicLounge
Ай бұрын
Yep!! It’s like the brain chemistry changes who you are and you can never be who you used to be…. You can’t unring a bell. I hope all women and children heal from their trauma’s in life and find some kind of peace in their near future. (Never give up❤)
Gaslighting on top! 😢 Very proud of you for leaving that mentally sick man.
@betsyveritas1055
2 ай бұрын
This story is just one of SO many women. So much damage done to women every day by men that supposedly love them. FBI stats say 98% of sexual crime is committed by men & 97% of ALL violent crime, again, done by men. 3 women a day are murdered by their husbands or domestic partners in the U.S. Every 30 seconds, a woman is raped in this country & no telling how many children, mostly going unreported. Be careful women. So many of them ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS!
Sleep deprivation is one of their main tools. Then they shame you for needing sleep or being lazy. Then they start screaming at you, every morning I had 1 hour of lectures. My son was belittled and shamed, sabotaged and shamed: my husband said he was worried about my son's drinking, but his friends told me he would drive my son & friends to the liquor store. My son killed himself after years of verbal screaming & abuse. Narcissism kills.
@NikolleN
Ай бұрын
So does ignorance.You ignore your son's abuse.
@numbernine3436
12 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry. No one can phantom what mental abuse is like unless they've experienced it. May your son RIP❤
@intelligentcat192
8 күн бұрын
@@NikolleNAre you kidding? I homeschooled my son to keep him safe and I fought constantly with my X about the way he put him down. I started plotting my escape and putting away money. I fought for my son.
Exactly the same elements from sex, tons of gaslighting, deliberate isolation, accusations of crazy, physical abuse, etc. Glad you got out. It took me 38 years to finally end it.
@victoryamartin9773
2 ай бұрын
Same here. 17 years of being coerced and raped 3 times a week like clockwork. Many times it was 3 a.m. I think it was easier to do it then because I was not so apt to resist. Although that never stopped him. When I finally told him to get his @#$&ing hands off me, it was over. He threw a fan at me and hit me hard with a pillow, but he never approached me again. Phew. 6 months later he divorced me.
@SpiritualConduit
Ай бұрын
💜 almost as long. same elements. its rough rode. Glad each of us got out ok.
This whole story just hurts my heart.. what an unbelievably strong woman. You’re amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you. I’m so sorry for everything you had to endure. I hope someone sees this and it gives them the courage they need to leave.
I was with one that got mad when I was at work cause i wasn't spending time with him, then mad when I had a day off cause I wasn't making money.
@SpiritualConduit
Ай бұрын
Damned if you do Damned if you dont. Its a very common trait in self entitled abusive people.
@ziggilypiggily
Ай бұрын
me too! I was suppose to be working when he thought it was best and at home when he thought it was best and always on his terms.
Ma’am you are a veteran- I hope that you have taken full advantage of the resources you are entitled to through the VA as well as filed for any disability compensation. With sexual trauma in the military and that long lasting effect psychologically; you deserve support and compensation
I'm a mom..... I would have been there the next day to bring my daughter home ! !
@biber507
Ай бұрын
Aww, I wish I would have this mum. My parents were totally on his side and all together told me, I am mentally sick, all my fault, too aggressive, nobody showed a minimum of respect towards me, the terriblest moment of my live. When I asked for help, I had to realize, I am alone
@GyllenkroksAve
Ай бұрын
👍💝
If you don't know about narcissists and their games, tactics and the cycles of abuse, you just lose yourself and can literally go crazy! But, if you can escape and detach from them, you become stronger and can recognize the red flags early on! Today, anyone can watch videos, (like yours), on what abusive and toxic people are like and how to prevent and protect yourself from becoming their prey!!!
You are a great woman. You are still a young woman and I hope this means a long, healthy and empowered life.
It's so disgusting how these demons seek out victims to destroy. It pisses me off how I fell for the abuse. Now because we have children...we communicate and he still tries to gaslight, make me think I am crazy et c..but now that I know the tactics..I always remind him of how superior my mind is and that he is a piece of 💩..and all my statements are true! He then tries to blame me for his evilness. I shut that shit down..then he goes silent as if I gaf! It took me a long time to learn what narcissism was. But, when I did....it was freedom! And my tactics began...thx for your story!
@sensimania
11 ай бұрын
What tactics did you take onboard?
The closet light at night..... had me absolute tears. That would have put me in complete mental distress and I actually would have started hearing voices. I am so sorry this happen to you. I'm glad you are okay.
none of this sounds crazy. I'm living my own version of this right now.
@gabriellemaes4078
Ай бұрын
Get out as quickly and strategically as possible. Really. Don't look back.
Looks like her ex is making different accounts and commenting. Still gaslighting her! SMH.
@sawneybean8011
2 ай бұрын
Yes! Proving how abusive and obsessed he is!!!
Lovebombing is dangerous. Know why it is. The lovebomber becomes abusive.
@betsyveritas1055
2 ай бұрын
No shit
This sounds a lot a lot a lot like my father. The court system essentially enabled his abuse because, although everyone around us (including me) said that he was abusive to us, I was still forced over there every other weekend and every Tuesday. I’m bc with him now but I’m the last few years I found out that during those custody changes was when he would threaten her and bc she couldn’t get away from him, he broke into our house at least once and became sexually violent. I don’t think a lot of ppl recognize how bad emotional abuse is and that it can easily lead to other forms of abuse. My mother has always said that she wished he’d just hit her bc then at least ppl would see and believe what was happening to us. I hope she and her kids recover and live a long and happy life.
@staceystrukel1917
2 ай бұрын
I’ve said the same thing your mom said. 😢nobody believes me and my kids.
Oh man...had contact with a psychopath who said he started his one night stands with a fist punch right in their faces. "Some get angry, some stay..." He had contact with me to drive me to suicide because I was on disability and he thinks sick people are weak and should die. I then developed joint pain aswell..maybe have another or several more diseases that came from the stress of him.
You are an inspiration to us all, what a lovely lady you are, may god richly bless you and your family through His one and only Son Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.
Sorry for what happened to you. Really glad you got your son back swiftly and that you strong and capable enough to stand on your own even though it must be very hard. Never let him near you again. Keep growing stronger.
This is so messed up, the lovebombing part scares me the most.
I’m so happy that you escaped. God bless you 🙏🏿💖
I took notes when my ex started explaining his way...
He's the textbook narcissist.
Omg. This is how my father acted towards me. Wow,
Omg ...it Happenrd With me. My Recent ex manhandeled me , pushed me against the Wall 3 Times and next day started Love bombing me , and Said it was an accident . He Said He pushed me hard to calm me down !! How on earth you can calm someone down by pushing someone against a Person !! Extreme Love bombing & extreme crying .
I can't even take men seriously anymore. Looks more like a hype than a relationship, knowing there's probably better options, and he's choosing to treat me like almost crap.
I believe you. Please take care of yourself. You deserve love
Let’s just pray that this Mica’s Law gets approved nationwide…
@SpiritualConduit
Ай бұрын
thinking of MIca as well. So many of us can relate. Each story feels very personal.💜
So sorry this happened to you. You are a survivor and such an inspiration. Thinking of Mica Miller, who went through very similar abuse, but sadly did not survive. I hope that your story will help others feel strong enough to leave. #justiceformica
Your story is exactly identical to mine. They all use tge same template. Youre lucky to get out alive.❤
Single mothers are in a very vulnerable position. You always need to question what someone’s motive is for wanting to be together. Do they want access to your child, do they know you are going to be easy to control because you are in a vulnerable position. Ladies, take care! ❤
Having sex with a sleeping or even half asleep woman says a LOT about the person! It's about total control, and nothing else
Sorry to hear this , I hope you will find a true love one day.
Fantastic woman!! Maybe we should be educated, as kids in school for example, a/ the steps an abusive relationship takes and how to recognize swiftly the red flags.
@Flash3-22
Ай бұрын
Where do I begin, school and education does not prepare us for adult life in any way shape or form. From managing finances to learning about relationships to understanding how our government works, Even most of our parents don't teach us these life skills.
Man those gas lighters are a piece of work…my dad was a messed up guy a gaslighter narcissist abusive alcoholic everything you can think of he was…all the men Ive dated were drunks and abusive drug users and get this I dont drink or use drugs😂 I was beautiful like you at one time but now Im 52 and feel ok with myself and more content that Im alone…being with someone is to much work
Validation. Thank you. I experienced all of this. Just so you know…hearing voices from above was my God send. I hold onto that with my life. Idc what anyone says to this day…that experience was my saving grace and when my eyes flew open and will never close again.
So happy you survived this toxic relationship!
What amazes me is how long it takes for people to leave their abusers. The FIRST time my now ex-husband laid a hand on me I began plotting my escape. I guess it comes down to different personalities and different levels of confidence.
Thank you for sharing your story. It validates the experiences of a lot of people (myself included). I'm glad there is more attention and information about emotional and psychological abuse tactics now, although more is needed to help people, especially young people, see the red flags and listen to their gut to drop the relationship sooner than later.
I’m really Impressed you had the moxey to stand up and fight, especially for custody. I’m unable to imagine if my life would be different if I had tried, but I know that my kids would be different. Their dad is a psychopath and that was my mistake so reducing the damage was important. Also I respect your service; having to deal with men who make their pledge a joke, and belong in prison.
It's sad. Just wait until the 5 year old grows up. Sons are very likely to act just like their fathers, despite how much the mother tries to raise them better. The biggest influence in a young man's life is the male role models he has. I hope she is able to keep the father away and provide him with honorable male role models.
@sensimania
2 ай бұрын
You're right. The father of my cousin's son had anger issues. He had violent outbursts (but he didn't hit them). My cousin left him when their son was 2yrs old, and the father chose not to share custody, so the son never saw him again. Years down the line, the son began displaying anger issues.
@natak.2287
Ай бұрын
Simply Not true.
I am living with a man who gaslights me on a regular basis/enough is enough is enough.
You are a beautiful young strong woman. God bless you and your kids. Stay strong
So proud of you ❤
Thank you for sharing your story ❤ it was very triggering because it's all the same thing I went thru.thank you for being brave
Thank you for sharing to help others
Thank you for sharing ❤️
Wow, just wow. I’m so sorry and sending you hugs. ❤ and im so thankful that with my mom all I would have to say is mom im not happy and she would drop everything and come get me.
Thank you for this story. I always got soo mad at myself for throwing away my power but in those kinds of abuse situations, you ARE deprived of proper brain function! And... It takes 2-4 years after an such abuse to start to be able to heal from it. It takes our brains and bodies that long to readjust back to start handling the healing. That's why we should never get into relationships with imbalance of power.
@alyngrace123
2 ай бұрын
I began hearing voices, he was my husband and he used to lock me inside the house with my children, I asked a doctor to help me, a psychiatrist, and in a year I was healing. My ex wants money for drugs, it took me 13 years to quit, I have a psychotic brake for gaslighting.
@jooliagoolia9959
2 ай бұрын
@@alyngrace123 Biggest hugs bad soo hope your out of that situation. 🌈 💜 🌈 💜 🌈 💜 🌈
You are so brave
@ZAKU-GD
Жыл бұрын
this comment reminds of something i thought of a few minutes ago, oh ya pls go back into the kitchen and finish making my sammich!!! lol
@dukeduke2790
Жыл бұрын
👭👭👭
this is like something i experienced...back then we called them con artist.
Seems like he's a narcissist.
Oh my goodness, I feel bad for you. You certainly went through a lot of crap.
He sounds like a classic textbook Narcissist.
This was so similar to my marriage that it surprised me.
The fact he got her number from someone rather than asking her is a red flag.
My Ex was a gaslighter!!! I hadn't ever heard of gaslighting while we were married.
I’m so happy for you! I was in an abusive relationship too! Praise Jesus I was only in it for 3 years! I found Christ, He is my everything!! I’m so grateful that I have Him in my life and he saved me! I’m thankful that you and your kids got a fresh start and a new life. Thank you for sharing your story!!
She was/is a very strong and bright and beautiful woman. Just goes to say abuse can happen to anybody. Except for very rare circumstances it's best for the woman not to move away where she will lose contact with her friends, work, etc. If he loves her that much, he can make the move.
MY Mother believed my abuser I guess my ex and my mother had a lot in common, I could never do anything right in her eyes. This resulted in me people pleasing. I searched for love in all the wrong people. Mothers and Fathers please be careful how you treat your children. Give them the confidence and unconditional love so that they see their own worth and won’t put up with being disrespected.
The first time someone screams or shoves you should be the last. The abused CLEARLY has problems if she doesnt leave and so if you want to stop being a victim you need to accept your role in the abuse.
Some people do not respect you. These means that they will not respect your boundaries as well. This man did not respect you from the beginning. So he wanted to control you with stories. I can understand why you stayed, but you should not have done that. Your mother meant well, but she was not with this man, you were. And narcissists like your ex know how to be believable. So you should have said: ´No, it is over. You do not know everything.` to your mother. It is so important that your family helps you. If you are alone with an abuser and gas lighter, you will not get the strength to leave. But it is great that you shared your story to help others understand what can happen in a relationship.
This sounds just like Mica Miller and what her husband did to her! #justiceformicamiller
I was inducted by aliens… hmm something doesn’t feel right about this relationship😂
Great job!
I wouldn't even have asked my mom to come. I would have packed up my baby, just the essentials jumped in my car and got the heck out of Dodge when he went to work. In fact I did just that to my ex-husband in 1997. He went to college in mornings, then worked afterwards 8 hours...one day it was planned. My parents, my brother and his best friend were waiting around the corner and when my husband left for school around 6am they came and we packed my clothes and my furniture and left. He figured it out that I'd left when he got home after 9:30pm. He was eventually served a RO and then Divorce papers. Divorce was final January 1999. Good riddance!
I feel like you are describing my story 😢
Wow. The “non threatening” was exactly what I thought when i saw my ex on a dating app. Yeah…..
I have been there its terrible. There so unpredictable.
oh my god! Another story where there is the hands aroubd the neck and the holes punched in walls! Mine was the same. How many guys like that are out there?? Plasterers must love the business they're getting. So similar. I too was proposed to and we couldn't get married because of 2020. Thank god I had no children. Thanks for sharing.
Michelle I am so sorry you had to go through that terrible ordeal! thank God you got your children back!!!!! I pray if your ex doesn’t belong to Christ that he is Godly influenced so he can get saved before it’s eternally too late!!!!!
👀🧐😤🥴😡👿 I’m sorry I went thru some of this I left his crazy self I AM DONE
There’s missing words in her conversation. Is it being silenced out. It’s confusing
@tamiewert808
2 ай бұрын
They don't say words that could be an issue for some viewers, such as suicide, drugs, etc.
@drchristineobrien9704
Ай бұрын
@@tamiewert808 then text it or sometimes other KZreadrs add it back in somehow. But tbh it feels like the abusers are being protected blocking out their actions or faces! I hate that!
It is insidious and hard to grasp, at least it was for me but what shes describing was very much like what i experienced
Oh my God.. 🥲🥲🥲
Honestly , I would have done it too. ( working for the family). I , however would have been furious about not getting what was promised. I. really would have found someway ( if at all possible) to leave that nut job behind and move forward. That’s not always a choice though. I feel for you girly pop!❤ BTW, I am in a similar position RIGHT NOW , because I am disabled now ( long story short) due to a severe mental breakdown caused by a crime HE COMMITTED where we lost literally everything ! We had been together ( marriage) for 20 years already and had 2 teenagers. He went to prison for 13 years , and stuck by him. He works now and makes a lot of money to support us . He’s still a gaslighter though. 😢I really should write a book about this. That’s what 2 therapists said to me. Chin up sweetheart! I’m rooting for you.❤
YOU ARE AMAZING! JESUS LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW ...GOD BLESS
Gut feelings are right. Also there is never one time.
Isn’t he on parole? Isn’t that kidnapping?
Your parents taking his side more than once kind of rubs me the wrong way. Seems like they are either really old school (which we all know times have changed and women have the right to work and vote now.. get a credit card) and that domestic abuse is no longer tolerated or normalized.. the women used to get frowned upon for calling for help and not keeping the business “in the house”. Your Mom may have a few horror stories herself who knows. Whatever the case may be, I’m sorry you were pretty much denied help when you initially asked because it could’ve saved you years of trauma. I understand why you felt you should *tough* it out 😢 that was pretty much your only option for the time being but you got yourself away 👏🏽👌🏾💯♥️
Flight risk? Was she going to fly the plane?
if you don't want sex, don't sleep in the same bed. You have definitely got issues. Your parents don't stand up for you and that is very horrible for sure. I hope you find strength and peace.
Honestly , I would have done it too. ( working for the family). I , however would have been furious about not getting what was promised. I. really would have found someway ( if at all possible) to leave that nut job behind and move forward. That’s not always a choice though. I feel for you girly pop!❤
I was also married to a narcissist for 18 years im free for 21 years
Wow!
Praise God!
Hello. You seem like a very nice young lady. i wish you the best. the fact your ex asked someone else for your number is troubling to me. He should have asked you.
I would like to share my story as well
Mine would snatch my purse handbag or just rip money out of my Hands, you owe me I pay for everything he would say??
@MC-mk6gs
2 ай бұрын
That's not what I posted
@MC-mk6gs
2 ай бұрын
You ungrateful B
you still have a beautiful spirit. He did not get that 💕☮.
What are the words beleeped out? I can't make them out at all.
The video would be better without the background music.
I have been through this my Marriage was called off before our engagement as she was mentally sick