My dad is unfortunately an alcoholic and drug addict. He curses all the time and has anger issues. Never takes the blame for anything. Everything is always someone else’s fault, not his. I am really convinced that he is oppressed by a demon and I say that soberly. I am praying that he would have complete Freedom by submitting his life fully to Christ

Coming from a person who married & divorced a religious covert narcissist- so grateful for this shared knowledge♥️

The hardest thing I've ever done is go no contact with my grown daughter who is a Covert Narcissistic. I have experienced everything you mentioned. The hardest part is losing my relationship with my 3 grandchildren 😢.

@julietreagus7043

Жыл бұрын

I can relate and have had to let my own daughter go and no contact with two of our grandkids. Heart breaking...

@patriciahilburn3303

7 ай бұрын

Oh, my goodness, we have just learned over the past several months that we have a covert narcissistic daughter and I never new. I always had this strange feeling, a feeling I could never put my finger on, almost like I was afraid of her because if I said anything that she didn't agree with or didn't like I was raged at, which made me feel small, belittled and shameful. I would even sometimes leave the room to go cry. And I have recently discovered I have co-dependency issues (which now I see clearly). Through her childhood I was constantly trying to make her happy and into now, and I can't. It's a little million things I do wrong; giving the grandkids candy at the wrong time, saying things I didn't even do, saying things I didn't say in the meaning she thinks I did. It's unbelievable. She controls with punishment. She is passive-aggressive, so we don't even know what we are doing wrong until her overt Christian Pharisaical friend tells us how horrible we are. It's like navigating a landmine, knowing you are going to get your leg blown off, but you just don't know when. She punishes us by controlling with the grandchildren, who love and adore us. She completely controls her husband and he can't see it. I sure it now. I have tried to talk with her but cannot, she won't. I didn't realize it, but several months back I called her out on how she treats her kids and I did not know that is cause for a narcissistic injury. I have spent the last 15 years walking around on eggshells waiting for the next rage. I see it in her kids too. It's sad. I hope God will heal her. It's a sad way to live.

@julienelson4874

7 ай бұрын

I can totally relate with everything you are saying. All we can do is love them from a distance and pray for them. Unfortunately because there is no self-reflection or humility with a Narcissist there is little chance for change. As mothers we think if only I try harder to please surely they will come around! But walking on eggshells and constantly trying to please them only makes them worse! And sadly it's the grandkids who really pay the price and there is nothing we can do to fix it. ONLY GOD! 😢

The struggle to accept that he wouldn’t change was probably the most difficult for me. Learning to heal now. Thank you for this content because it is a blessing on my journey ❤

Yep! I was trapped as a very young Christian by "Love him and serve him" ..........(and the trap door slammed down on me)........Just what he wanted. He forgot to give anything back snd took, and took, and took while the churchy ladies' said, "You must be doing something wrong.".....

100% true , thank you, Mark. Speak from 30 years experience being married to an abusve narcissistic husband. I've been on a healing journey for the past 15 years. ( I'm 65) . I hung in there because I knew I wouldn't have the support of my Christian community. He was a charismatic leader and had everyone charmed. Finally became a part of a Christiam community that understood these things and had so much love and support that I was able to break free. One thing God showed me about myself is my arrogance in thinking that I could change him by prayer or being a better wife or loving him more ect, ect. I needed to recognize that and repent from that. Also from putting my trust in another human being to have my emotional mental and spiritual needs met instead of in God. Psalm 1 💗

I divorced a narcissist 15 years ago and I am still recovering. I still have insomnia in the middle of the night. The good thing that has come out of this I think is my need for God/Jesus to get me through the day. I am doing much better now, but I am still not free completely. I have days I feel free of the oppression/depression caused by the covert abuse, but I really want to be free of it completely.

@tammystours5171

Жыл бұрын

Praying for you Sarah, I can relate completely! It is so difficult but just KNOW God will begin what He started in you, I can testify He will bring you through to complete healing. Something I found very helpful was studying the nervous system and practicing the things that calm the nervous system, I have found supplements like Ashwagandha and magnesium to be very helpful. 🙏 peace to you.

@sarahm3614

Жыл бұрын

@@tammystours5171 Thank you Tammy!! I have become very healthy physically because of researching nutrition and health. Ashwaghanda /theanine and magnesium are supplements I take. Lately I have been trying to increase the oxygen in my cells through breathing techniques to better handle stress. Otherwise I've done everything else I know to do.

@sarahm3614

Жыл бұрын

@Olia Krist Thank you, Olia! It's nice to have someone else be honest about this stuff. It is a journey and I see progress more and more. I don't ruminate on it anymore, but I think it is a feeling of being unsafe in the middle of the night when I let down my guard while sleeping. I'll get through it.

@mrwiggiewoo

Жыл бұрын

I've been there, I hear you.💗 hang in there and stay with God in the journey.🙏

@sarahm3614

Жыл бұрын

@@mrwiggiewoo Thanks!

Its so refreshing to have someone understand.Its ok to take care of urself... bless u Lord

Because I was one, and Jesus saved me. It was due to unhealed childhood trauma..my father was a narcissist and seemed like he had Borderline Personality Disorder, also my mom was extremely codependent.

Thank you, thank you. Christians need this. I’ve had a lifetime of experiences with so many narcs… mostly in marriage, & fam members who call themselves Christians, & some outside Christian circles. Trying to get help… very hurtful. Christians can be lacking in understanding, compassion & grace.

Unfortunately there are people in the church that don't know how the person acts behind closed doors.

@shanetasadie

Жыл бұрын

This is so true. My fiancé and I ended our engagement recently. I noticed the tendencies early on, but settled. When I reached out to my pastor I just received remain faithful messages, and though I felt anger and resentment at times, I didn’t end it when I should have. They really don’t know, and we can easily confuse love with tolerating abuse.

@smokingcrab2290

4 ай бұрын

@shanetasadie, I feel like the church and most pastoral counsel will never actually fix any relationships. But instead they will blame you and tell you that Jesus wants you to remain in an unfruitful relationship because that's what God wants you to do is just suffer suffer suffer. And then pray it magically gets better.

@donna-colorado8443

4 ай бұрын

@@smokingcrab2290 That is absolutely untrue

Having come to understand that there's nothing I can do to change the narc I simply pray for God to have His perfect will in their life . I let sort it out 😊🎉 and keep on grey rocking

The Most High has already shown us what to do with a narcissist, the very first narcissist and his enablers were cast out of heaven so fast like lightning. All the narcissist traits are the same personality traits of the enemy.

They WILL NOT CHANGE. Whew….

Thank you Mark for such awesome teaching and you have such a kind delivery 🙏 My mom was narcissistic but I worked around her inability to be supportive, and showed her I wouldn’t tolerate all the criticism..the relationship was still rewarding, continued it until she passed. knew she loved me even though she was limited. I have however cut contact with both my brothers, one has overt narcissism haven’t spoke with him in 10 years. Too too toxic..Just recently cut ties with the covert narcissist, they are the sneaky ones, tearing you down but often times going undetected as the abuse is extremely subtle very insidious, comes in the form of withholding.. it’s sad because it’s almost like they figure out what you need/want as a human being and then be sure to not give.. it’s not normal, no reciprocity as in a healthy connection. I’ve noticed since I cut him and a best friend also a covert, I feel sooo much better! believe part of it I think is the self respect, by not accepting people’s shady behaviors any longer. I KNOW I am a kind hearted, generous person and now feel I deserve so much more than what these low vibe narcissistic people have dished to me for far too long. I’m very alone now as far as people goes, but thank God my self esteem is not being drained out anymore 🙌🏼 I can deal with people I’m not close with, coworkers or neighbors and such having narcissism.. but the people who are close and SUPPOSE to have my back.. nope, that is just too hurtful when I’m trying to heal these wounds. You are so much better alone than having people who SHOULD love and care about you, yet are incapable, opening your life to the devil and his schemes..

Excellent explanation. Thanks. I had no idea what I was getting into 28 years ago. Now I'm on this roller-coaster ride through hell. I made choices, now I'm living in the consequences. Thank God for my sanity and my community. He is in control and is the God of justice!

Its true am trying to heal and stop throwing things because some still dont belive

Now one year +no contact with Mom and stepfather. The abuse was subtle, but yes, it steadily ramps up to where threats and silence. Not healthy to live in. I've spent my life aiming at being with my Mom who saw me only as a possession and was barely in my life. I've learned. I wasn't no contact when I first moved away but after things she said in the in family chat... Her true feelings came out and I've delt with shame and guilt for being related to her. My identity was wrapped up in her but now I'm me. I love my mom very much but I'm supply to her, a drug that would keep her justifying herself. I'm not the only one no contact with her. She's stuck in a world where she' has alienated everyone and cannot accept any responsibility and only blames everyone else. I've been in an online healing group for over a year and that has helped immensely. God keeps me on track and check I'm thriving in my new live.

Such an amazing video, I've been revisiting this one over and over.

As a result of this, I lost the traits and abilities that which made people want to be my friend and or hang out with me spend time with me on a regular basis and Mum said it is because people could not handle me being mentally unwell or having a learning disability. Due to a housing crisis and mental crisis due to trauma and instilled paranoia, I work part time under my mother's roof.

Tha.nk you Mark. It is so painful having a granddaughter who used to be humble and respectful become narcissistic. And her behavior is being affirmed by her parents, parents who raised her to be polite and respectful. Something is wrong with this picture

Your analogy about watching a movie is so insanely on point. I’ve been supporting someone reading very lengthy texts from a narcissistic partner. I’ve dealt with a lot of these in the past and I can detach, and see them like a movie. But it’s so hard when you are emotionally entangled. I just love how you explained it. I’m not Christian, but I still think this whole video is still incredibly well explained and insightful for anybody, from any background going through this.

@jesuslives5846

Ай бұрын

Jesus Christ is coming back soon and God is calling everyone to repentance (2 Peter 3:9 KJV) *** Prayers for all, message for all: Please Get in the Ark of Jesus Christ now. We all must Repent and be Born Again of the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ to see God:: Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born? Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. John 3:3‭-‬7 KJV bible.com/1/jhn.3.3-7.KJV*** Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. Acts 2:38 KJV bible.com/1/act.2.38.KJV

Ive been waiting for you to do a series of books and videos on this subject. I know you have in the past but its nice for something new! Thank you for all you do Mark!

Your ministry is really helping me to heal. Thank you. Another topic I would love to see you discuss: Borderline Personality Disorder.

SO NEEDED THIS ....

I NEED THIS BUT IM NERVOUS

@Friendlyadhd10

Жыл бұрын

Same, I don't understand alot.

@JoyBishop-fz9ic

10 күн бұрын

Me too

@JoyBishop-fz9ic

10 күн бұрын

😢

Love the funny ending! 😂 We do know what you’re going to say. Wouldn’t be a Mark DeJesus video otherwise. Thank you so much, brother, for imparting such healing insights and doing it with compassionate grace. ❤ I really needed this video. My eyes are just beginning to be opened. Here’s to the journey ...

Mark, thanks for talking about this!!

Thank you so much Mark!

Great teaching! Thank you! Comprehensive discussion 🙏💗✝️

Such amazing information 🙏🏼 God bless you!

How will i be heal 😢Lord please continue 🙏 and thank you for this wonderful messages

Excellent msg, wanting people to understand is a hard one..

So so incredibly in depth. Thank you.

Remember kiddos, It's YOUR job to fix what THEY damaged

This is very helpful thank you god bless you🙏

Thank you :)

Been dealing with a narcissistic pastor. I don't say that lightly. He has given me the full-on silent treatment for over a year. He won't tell me why but gives a lot of sermons on pride and no matter what I repent of and work on and what behavior patterns change, he never actually moves into being a loving, accepting pastor. I've decided to treat him as an enemy today because that's what he seems to want but feel guilty because we're supposed to love our enemies. I'm curious to know your thoughts on all this considering your video I just saw on God's love and the simplicity of it all, he loves me even in my imperfections. What hurts about watching your video is by accepting that he will never change, I am in a position where I don't get the love and friendship of family and fellowship that I need. I'm kinda just stuck with me and God against the world, if you know what I mean. I guess I have some greaving to do.I even started wondering if I was the narcissist because I'd gotten so bitter about things. I did become malicious. Still hope, in a way, that he gets what's coming to him but is that a wrong attitude to have? I'm so confused about everything.

I love the examples of Jesus, thanks!

Thank you 💗

Hey, Mark! What would you think of doing and episode on introverts/ extroverts and how these tendencies in different individuals affect how we walk with God, each other, and serve in the church ? I think people don't really understand the potential and actual value of the contribution introverts make in church community and ministry. P. S. I'm an introvert and I stand behind this message.🧏‍♀️🙋🙋‍♂️💁 🙋‍♀️

"do not show interest in your life." When they feign interest, i buy it, hook line and sinker. And then i get really confused when they get mad at me for assuming they would be interested in good news or an update on my life. My mom told me not to give her updates because I "only cause chaos." Well, when she lies, and i wont, that is going to create "choas" for her to clean up, to coordinate, to cover her ass. For a liar to spend time with a truth teller, it will inevitably create "more work," for thr liar. Because i am not willing to pretend that what happens, didn't happen. That is what my mother would prefer. I'm not going to start lying simply so she feels better, when she actively stops me from sharing how i feel. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 *If in life or death situations, save your life. We are not required to express our truth if it is going to inflame someone violent. ❤

Here i am watching again

It takes along time but you will

My mom the narcissist got us kicked out of a church once when I was a kid because they were convinced she was a witch. Like who gets kicked out of a church!!! My mother!!

Thank u fo that truth dark n lightnes

Here’s the thing though. My mother is “ a big deal” in the church. She doesn’t understand boundaries. She has done some wonderful things but then has done incredibly harmful awful things!!! For instance, she wrote a book detailing some private things that I did not give consent to and some of it is even un factual. So what do you do then? I’ve told her a few times about how much it has hurt me and how I don’t agree with it and she just simply gaslight me or tells me that I have no memory at this point I am no contact because I just don’t have mental energy to deal with all of this

#10 watch a movie We called it the Twilight Zone. Sometimes just humming a few notes of the theme song🎶 was enough to get back to reality 🎉😅

I feel like the word "narcissist" can be used for any reason. Basically, any form of disagreement you have with anyone can get you labeled as a narcissist.

Hello how do I accept and let go when it's my own daughter that has 4 of my grandchildren that I love so very dearly.

Hey Mark! Is there any place I can shoot a question? I have your email as a result of signing up to your email list, can I speak to you through there? I’d appreciate a response, even if it’s just a ‘no not right now’ or ‘no that’s not possible’ just so I’m not left hanging.

@marktdejesus

Жыл бұрын

Feel free to use my email. Best way.

@allgenres850

Жыл бұрын

Oh thank you! Awfully kind of you to respond! I’ll try to formulate my thoughts into something readable lol.

how do i submit a question if i’m 17 :(

Pray for me,everythin u say mskes sense what do u do wht does it hapoen

What would help me?

Wherd the help n justice

2. I don't believe they can change. God can do anything. However, this does not mean we need to allow ourselves to be abused. When you see that your son-in-law is subject to this and your grandchildren do you sit back? Our daughter will not talk with us right now because I have called her out on a couple things. I have apologized for things that I have said and done in the past. She cannot even begin to apologize, at all, and she knows exactly what she's done and how she treats us. Everyone who knows her and us does. It's not a secret. What I don't like is she shuts me down so I cannot speak. She has already done what she's done and now I feel like I want to speak my mind even knowing she will not change. However, her husband might wake up to it. It's strange how you've been around someone for so long and don't see the patterns or how you act with them. I think she feels guilty as to how she treats the kids by screaming at them and uses me as a scapegoat because when she was a teenager she would rage at me anytime I said no or something she didn't like. I lived in fight and flight. I would either get out of her line of fire or I would come back raging after taking her hit again and again. Our story is long and convoluted. I wish I could just talk with her, hug her, we both apologize and move on. Life is so short to hold grudges and punish people. All this controlling for her must be so exhausting. I have feelings of sadness for her, anger towards her (that God is helping me heal from) and I feel used and verbally abused. I feel like the Giving Tree. She was spoiled (my fault), got everything and complains. Honestly, it's shocking. She has done nothing for me. It's horrid, horrid, horrid.

I’m in a relationship like this. I’m changing my mindset now. Is it biblically acceptable to get divorced? I’ve just been praying a lot and praying for him but sometimes he seems like he’s changing or improving but then something happens and we are right back where we started.

@knowtruth2773

20 күн бұрын

I'm not a Professional, but I can tell you after 3 decades of marriage to a narc, I prayed for God to get me out. I believe God not only heard my prayer, but was very near to me and helped me get out. My ex would flip flop doing better for awhile then worse again. But now that I am out of it, I see the core of him never really changed. Husband or not at some point you have to save yourself. God Bless you ❤

Its been awful 4 yrs it wad ok at first iv had over 10ys bout 4 diffrent men

I nearly got married

Whys it so upsetin for me

A relationship with bible god feels like another narcissistic relationship, to me at least.

@nicholecornes1915

Ай бұрын

No you get love from the bible

@knowtruth2773

20 күн бұрын

I've struggled with the same thing. All I can tell you is to ask God to show you who he is. I still struggle, but it helps.

Acceptance ‼️🤔🧐Duuhhh‼️. The good ol' Serenity Prayer 😊

Its serious i know Gods is the venjenajce its from the enemy,my question is do you thijk tjeyl go to hell itd not for us to know is it