I don’t think being an adult has to mean following a laundry list of going to college, getting a “professional” job, getting married, buying a house and having children on a prescribed timetable. Being an adult simply means making your own choices and taking accountability for the consequences of those choices.

@Rockerlady

3 ай бұрын

That is true. But accountability is key. If you rely on relatives, at least do your part so they can rely on you. A lot of young people expect help but don't help out.

@cuddlesanddaisy

3 ай бұрын

​@@RockerladyWhat you said there, EXACTLY.

@mettamorph4523

3 ай бұрын

I am dismayed this comment has so many thumbs up. "Making your own choices and taking accountability for those choices". Nope. That's weak. He's making his choice to have his mommy cook for him like he's an 8 year old. What is the accountability for that? My parents said two things often - "If you get married.." and "When you move out..". They let me know that marriage was optional but moving out was not optional. They were telling me it's not their job to financially support me forever. I was taught to do my laundry, to cook, do cleaning chores. They helped me get teen working papers. Birds push the young ones out to fly on their own. There's a lesson in that.

@paulej

3 ай бұрын

You're not required to have kids on a timetable, but if you want kids then nature does have its opinion. Having kids is awesome, IMO. Having them early makes it easier.

@mettamorph4523

3 ай бұрын

​@@paulej Yes. Life has seasons. We keep trying to lengthen our Springs and Summers when we are almost halfway through Fall. Winter is coming.

I’m an elder millennial (1982), and one thing I’ve noticed is the change that has occurred in the work force. Having a college degree doesn’t carry with it the same weight as it did 25 years ago. Neither does having a home, a car, or “career”. The workforce my husband and I went to college for simply does not exist.

@Anson120

3 ай бұрын

Now a lot of jobs are overworking and exploiting their employees this includes high level jobs that require degrees or certificates.

@royharper2003

3 ай бұрын

maybe should should have picked different majors

@lexa_power

3 ай бұрын

💯

@kevykevTPA

3 ай бұрын

@@Anson120 What is it about life in the 21st Century that has sooo many people complaining sooo loudly? I don't make enough money, I have to work more than the bare minimum amount of time, housing is too expensive, employers are mean, yadda yadda yadda.... Our great-grandparents were storming the beaches of Normandy at the age of 18, many of whom never came back, and life went on. Our lives are cush compared to our recent ancestors, and we whine about it soooo much, I just don't get it.

@katiejon17

3 ай бұрын

Last year of gen-x (1979) - when we graduated college, we did not expect immediate gains. We all knew we’d be starting at the bottom, and work our way up. That’s not happening today, people are expecting to skip over a decade of hard work and experience, and be handed things. Most of us lived with multiple roommates, drove older cars, and lived much smaller lives throughout our 20’s. That is not the reality today. I’m 45, and I have a cousin who’s now about 37 (both females). When I graduated from college I appreciated getting an administrative assistant position in a financial company that was very clear in providing an ability to work my way up (my boss had a high-paying job with her own office, and she had my position maybe 7 years prior). My cousin graduated with her bachelors in biology, and applied for her state’s administrator (administrator!) position with Immigration & Naturalization. She naturally did not receive the position due to having no experience... and was enraged about it. Entitlement has somehow come into play in a big way. Past generations did not have it easier, but many from younger generations demand to skip over the grunt period of the decade following graduation. Never mind that most people are going to college for useless degrees.

OMG!!! "Walking is an ideal date for a golden retriever!" LOLOLOL😄

@allkindsamusicchick

3 ай бұрын

@mettamorph4523

3 ай бұрын

I liked that too.😅

@rosieposie9564

3 ай бұрын

I love walking dates as they are personal and healthy but that comment was funny.

@marcosj3639

3 ай бұрын

that made me rofl .. especially bc i use take girls on those dates. it reminded me one time asking someone if they wanted to get some food at the mall and walk around and theyre response was “wth, the mall is for teenagers” it stuck with me too and gave me a different perspective.

@Georgggg

Күн бұрын

Thats sounds so humilitaing, no question why people are so stressed about their status.

Nicole you may find it weird that some older adults/ seniors watch your videos. However, I find them a window into our culture and the minds of a different generation. I think it’s important to understand each other and keep our minds open. You are refreshing.

@kimb884

3 ай бұрын

I’m 70 and I faithfully watch Nicole. 😊

@melissawitsell7509

3 ай бұрын

58 here, and I find her wise beyond her years. I love her sense of humor too! 😃

@xlerb2286

3 ай бұрын

63 here. Refreshing to find a young person that's got it so together. I wish I had at that age ;)

@kingofcastlechaos

3 ай бұрын

56 and just stumbled onto her content.

@bonriver9420

3 ай бұрын

I am 77 and I agree with you. Even though I am old enough to be her grandmother, I really enjoy watching her videos. It is eye opening and also enjoyable to see how young people think and feel about things. It also gives one hope for the future of our world to know that there are a lot of young people who really have their shit together.

I love walk dates! You don't have to like them, but I genuinely enjoy walking with someone as a way of getting to know them. It's one of my favorite things.

@vandalpaulius

3 ай бұрын

omg yes. Going for a walk, stumbling on some small cafe, sitting there for a bit and continuing to walk is the best

@bthomson

3 ай бұрын

Yes! Cheap and good exercise! The brain is happy doing it. You can learn a lot about someone walking! Health, mindset, hobbies, education, politics, religion, finances, family situation and how they treat others.

@jeremiahbullfrog9288

3 ай бұрын

Agree, but when Nicole expressed her disinterest, he ought to have dropped it and come up with other ideas or moved on to a more compatible person.

@KatTaylor

3 ай бұрын

I think a walk can be a great first date. But at some point, I need to see that the other person can plan and execute a nice evening for us. It demonstrates that he can do more than just show up.

@jeremiahbullfrog9288

3 ай бұрын

@@KatTaylor To be fair, she needs to do more than just show up as well.... this trend definitely cuts both ways lately. Google "dating for free meals" :)

Living at home as an adult is culturally acceptable in many countries. So if you are living at home, working, taking care of yourselves, paying bills etc is perfectly acceptable. Never feel pressured to leave your parents home as part of growing up. Thats a very American thing to shove the kids out of the house or consider them failures for living at home. Multi generational family homes has a village that we all dream of during a time many are very lonely.

@AccordingtoNicole

3 ай бұрын

Working, taking care of yourself and paying bills is the thing though. Many are not. Many of my neighbours are multi-generational families. Everyone contributes to the family in some way. That’s not what I’m talking about.

@seltzermint5

3 ай бұрын

I never understood this when I was younger. I remember watching that movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and HATING it so much because I thought the main woman's family was cultish and abusive and she was a huge loser. I have learned a few things since then but it still doesn't sit right with me since I was raised differently and not in those cultures.

@gracesimplified3860

3 ай бұрын

Agree!

@skinnypete3104

3 ай бұрын

@@AccordingtoNicoleIt was a good video. I just wanted to emphasize this since I see so many slamming multi generational homes or feel pressured that adulting means moving out of their parents home.

@nicoleg7194

3 ай бұрын

@skinnypete3104 She’s not American. She’s Canadian.

If you ended up dating that one dude, you were literally going to be covering every single emergency expense he encounters. You would be covering every single house/personal supply. He's a child.

@occamsshavecream4541

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like he needs a warm bottle and a diaper.

@b4rs629

3 ай бұрын

It goes both ways.

@jimmymac2292

Ай бұрын

Isn't that the point of a partnership though. Like both of yall are a team and if one has a problem, you both work to solve it. I do believe there should be some sort of balance. But I would have a hard time looking at my partner and telling them to just deal with their shit on their own

"..and then promptly ruin your life by having kids" ! Nicole, you are the best. I don't know you, but I love you. And I agree with everything else you said here, as well. The dumbification and infantilization of America is real.

@AccordingtoNicole

3 ай бұрын

✌🏼

@drc3po

3 ай бұрын

Haha, I was going to post this same quote... you beat me to it! I'm 68 and still living an unruined life. 😅

@mortanicus5871

3 ай бұрын

Nicole makes me LMAO all the time with the way she puts things. One time she characterized diet pills as "pills that make you s**t yourself skinny." That one made me bust out laughing.

@antillie7

3 ай бұрын

I would say that having them before you are ready is a great way to ruin your life. I didn't have my first until I was 32. My wife and I just weren't in a position to be able to afford it until about then. But the real issue is just how high the bar for "able to afford to have a kid" is and how long it takes most people to get there. I think a lot of people will never really get there and will end up having kids anyway and just struggle for years and years as a result. I've heard it said that home ownership in the US is a privilege only available to those making 100k+. And I think there is something to that. (Something along the lines of to get a mortgage for the median home you need an income of ~120k with no other debt and a 20% down payment.) I wonder what the threshold for being able to afford a kid is. Never mind more than one.

@jeremiahbullfrog9288

3 ай бұрын

@@richardwallerstein539 You say this as though "family" is still a thing. There's a plague of single moms looking for sugar daddies and guys aren't interested in footing the bill for someone else's kids, especially when they can get ripped away whenever she gets bored with the relationship. You can imagine how this spirals generationally.

As a Gen X'er i had to laugh about your take on the generational divide. You went from the Boomer generation straight to the Millennial generation. You literally forgot the "forgotten generation", Gen X'ers. Well done Nicole! lol

@photographyforthefofit

3 ай бұрын

I actually laughed out loud

@ChelleJohn

3 ай бұрын

We always get left out. I work in marketing and nobody ever considers us, it’s all boomers, millennials, and Gen Z. I was just talking to my husband about that. 😂 definitely the forgotten Gen.

@OneSillyWanker

3 ай бұрын

Gen X went outside to play and never came back...

@jeremiahbullfrog9288

3 ай бұрын

tbh it feels good to be "forgotten" when you're sandwiched by clueless and entitled.

@shavenyak1

3 ай бұрын

Same here. My thoughts are similar to @OneSillyWanker. Gen X is off doing their own shit. We were taught independence at an early age and forged our own paths. We are less interested in getting involved in bullshit we don't have any control over or waste energy on things that don't directly impact us. Heads down, we trudge on. All that being said, some people born in the Gen X era are millennials and some people born in the millennial era are Gen Xers because of the way they were raised. Nicole seems to me like she was raised as more of a Gen Xer... with millennial media savvy.

I was in 9th grade when 9/11 happened, and the recession of 2008 hit hard, me graduating from college a year later. I actually married my husband because we couldn’t afford rent and life expenses on our own. Luckily that turned out well and we are still happy together almost 15 years later. But yeah, money and the environment around you influences so much about the life choices you make.

Your dating stories perfectly sum up why I just dont have the energy to date anymore. Most men just seem to be looking for a mom and I don't want to be a mom

@addicted2expression

3 ай бұрын

Yeah. I don't get why so many guys want someone to take care of them... I wouldn't look for someone to take care of me more so a person I can grow with.

@jeremiahbullfrog9288

3 ай бұрын

And so many women just seem to be looking for a dad. It's brutal out there!

@wildbill562

3 ай бұрын

My mom was a beautiful, energetic, competent, loyal, loving person. A Proverbs 31 woman. That was what I wanted in a wife. I was very disappointed when I married a spoiled brat with daddy issues. If you don't want to take care of your husband, do not get married. That is the job!

@whosaidthat4299

3 ай бұрын

Worse a mom they want to F there's alot or actually not too much to think about.

@winterwoodcottage3657

3 ай бұрын

​@@wildbill562whaaaaat? It's not my "job" to take care of a grown man. A marriage is to love, honor and cherish and that's a two way street.

I enjoyed this video Nicole. Truth be told, when I was in my mid-20’s I fell into this trap of “helping” a boy friend in his tavern business. It turned into a five year nightmare where I found myself managing his business while holding down a full time nothing job in order to save money for myself. My advice to you, Nicole is do NOT NOT NOT do this for anyone. Hold onto your independence with a death grip, and keep your finances separate. Including, but not limited to a legal agreement signed by both parties before you move in together. In other words, if he moves in with you his stuff is your stuff and he has no rights. Also, a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage. I guarantee you that you’ll sleep much better at night. Sage advice after navigating love relationships. My husband and I remain together and married since 2008.

I moved out at 17. I got a job at 16 that enabled me to do that. I was no longer attending school. I'm now in my 40s with a 2 year degree and disabled. I live in subsidized housing and have an ever narrowing path to "upward mobility". If I diet get extremely lucky to live in this housing, I'd be on the street or living with my parents. Several generations of society continuing to get sicker because a very few hold the rest of us down, doesn't result in a functioning system with functioning people. Those of you still making things work for you are great. Those of us who can't, shouldn't be shamed. Those of us desperate to survive will no doubt do shitty things to get our needs met. Fix the flaws in the system (billionaires and trillionaires) and the people will tend toward healing if given the resources.

@_Arugula_Salad_

3 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear it, mate. A health issue derailed my life a few years ago as well. Eventually I was homeless for a year, but now I'm back with my mom. It's vicious out there.

@tomasviane3844

2 ай бұрын

It made me wonder if there EVER was a time where one would be disabled and have a society that gave them everything they needed to live a full life "on their own"... How hard times seem now, I wonder how it was in the 1800s, 1700s,... Be grateful for what you do have!

@_Arugula_Salad_

24 күн бұрын

My mother stabbed me in the back and made me homeless AGAIN after living w her for 2 weeks. My brothers manipulated her. A Pakistani friend let me stay with her but her sons coming home so I need to vacate tomorrow. Back to tent life, hooray

I fully understand why people live with their parents longer - in my area, it's practically impossible to live alone (renting or buying)

@moominmay

3 ай бұрын

That’s not her issue though it’s the fact that whilst living at home they’re not taking advantage of that luxury to further progress themselves and often go backwards in some things such as domestic skills

@GigaChad_169

3 ай бұрын

I know a guy who is 45 and lives with his parents. He had some credit issues due to a car repossession and he's a school teacher so they don't make much. I can understand needing to do so for a bit. HOWEVER, instead of taking advantage of the gift of having minimal living expenses and a full-time salary, he's blowing his money partying on nights and weekends, as well as vacations. Then he gives me the "it must be nice to own a home" snide comment when we meet up. As if he couldn't save a large fraction of the $60k year he makes having no rent, mortgage, or utility payments,. Let alone, work summer school sessions and make $80k and save even more. I asked one time and he said her likes having summers off... He chooses not to act like an adult, then acts like life is too expensive so he's justified in doom spending.

@pudznerath6532

3 ай бұрын

Women just love status (atleast when they get to their settling phase in life) owning a house is one of them. But we really shouldnt be going after female attention at all these days.

@aerrae5608

3 ай бұрын

@@GigaChad_169 Damn man if I had no rent I'd be saving insane amounts. Probs have a house down payment in 5 years and my lifestyle wouldn't even have to change.

@b4rs629

3 ай бұрын

@@GigaChad_169 Ya, those types are the worst. If I made 60k while living at home. There's always gonna be the ones that take it for granted. 60k may not seem like a lot depending on where other people live, but here in the midwest you could live comfortable making 60k. I would be out within a year or two. He'll I rarely make over 40k a year in my life while living on my own working 50-70 hour weeks.

I was 21 when I left home & moved to college (if that counts). If not, then I was 24 when I moved 600 miles away from my home state. I came back to live with my grandma in her final months when I was 25ish & then moved to where I currently live when I was 27. It really hit me when you said that there are a lot of people who have just given up. And I feel like people have a finite amount of things that they care a lot about. And if society is bent on making life unbelievably harder than before, you should expect a lot of people to just check out. If you're going to make houses ridiculously expensive or cars or entertainment or really anything, I think people should expect a lot of people to either be unable to afford it or be unwilling to pay the price. For example, I stopped spending money on cable a long time ago, because I was paying a lot of money, but not really getting much out of it. Or at least it didn't seem like it was worth the money. And I think a lot of people are examining life in that way. College is super expensive for not much quality, so a lot of people aren't going. Houses are super expensive, so people are just not buying (maybe). Relationships have gotten unbelievably expensive, so I think a lot of people are not engaging (though there are a lot of other reasons for this). Is it really a problem that people are kinda checking out, because society's demands have gotten unreasonable & the quality it has traded for those demands is no longer good?

The way this video explains how I've been feeling for a few years now is refreshing. Everytime i state my opinion on this topic i get told im insensitive, and i shouldn't care about the way other people live their lives. Im 29 years old and im tired of being surrounded by people my age refusing to grow up... might be time to start moving on from the people in my life and also physically move from where i currently live.

Hi Nicole, I am more than twice your age and find your wisdom refreshing. I have a request for you. Please don’t diminish the value of your experience and your opinions by defining them as “just” your opinions and “just” your experience. While I would not choose to live my life exactly the way you live yours, I have found from watching your channel and listening to your thoughts and ideas that I am developing a more minimalist approach to having things in my life. And for that, I say thank you.

@McGuire40695

3 ай бұрын

For real! I'm a couple years younger than Nicole, and she's amazing! She's accomplished quite a lot in her life, and every one of her videos are a breath of fresh air for a lot of beliefs that I've had over the years. She's definitely a great role model, too, for not holding back at all!

@JP-ve7or

3 ай бұрын

I see a lot of KZreadrs doing that "just my opinion" thing constantly. I think it's a way of trying to head off criticism and trolls right off the bat. I agree it shouldn't have to be that way, though.

Don't date if you don't have your finances together.

@RM-jb2bv

21 күн бұрын

This only applies for men.

@richjohn11

2 күн бұрын

I don't...🤣🤣🤣🤪

@Georgggg

Күн бұрын

Imagine if women listened to this.

Yes we encouraged our daughter to move out at a similar age so that she could flourish as an adult. It can be hard to be fully independent when living with your parents.

I moved out at 17, to attend college. Never moved back home. Graduated college at 22. I’m a Gen Xer, and I feel like things were so much simpler and generally less expensive for my generation than they are for the 20 and 30 somethings now.

I skipped over being a selfish-teenage-young-adult who makes poor choices and stupid financial decisions. I'm 37 and my son is 18, he was born just out of high school in 2006. He went to college with me and I used students loans to survive those years. Financially, it was a challenging time. However I never had a credit card, only bought what I could afford and always paid the bills. We set limits and lived within them. So as family, we developed enjoying the quality time over stuff and have made some really fun traditions out of being together. Now, 18 years later I have tons of money. We spend on vacations and experiences that build memories, even though we know we can make them for free.

After my divorce many years ago I moved back home and while I was greatful, it was not a comfortable situation. Even though I was an adult, they set ground rules (which okay, I understand to a certain degree) but I was basically infantiziled and had some of my freedoms taken away. (Ex 1: I had a curfew). I was out of there as soon as I could afford to do so and honestly, even 15 years later the thought of having to move back in with them is what keeps me motivated to keep progressing in life. I recently have had some hardships and decided that I was going to go back to school and try and get into the medical field. We will see how that pans out, but it seems like a pretty solid goal seeing that is a field that will always be in demand for help. I also want to add that I feel for those currently in the dating field. I lucked out and found a good partner, but if it weren't for him...I would be single and probably just stay single. Great video, Nicole.

@seltzermint5

3 ай бұрын

When I was divorced at age 35 I moved back in with my mom for 1 week, it was not financially necessary as I was in a position to have my own place while selling the marital home in another city. I just thought it would be "cool" to save up money for a few months. Um, no. It did not work! I found myself a 1 bedroom furnished apartment so quickly. I just think in most cases adults in US/Canada modern culture aren't cut out to live with their parents (nor are parents usually thriving with adult kids at home). JMHO

@itsmeheathermarie

3 ай бұрын

@@seltzermint5 Totally agree! It's interesting how different cultures have an influence on our way of thinking regarding families living together.

@radioserrelind

3 ай бұрын

@@itsmeheathermarieYou're right. My parents are able to treat me as their adult roommate because this is more normalized in our culture (we are a German-American blended culture family). They would never dream of giving me a curfew or otherwise infantilizing me. They have also not held me back; I've dated like an adult, gotten all of my degrees from home (some from my sickbed -- years of undiagnosed Lyme which has thankfully healed) and scored the best job any of us have ever had. They are amazed and happy for me that I have thrived. It wasn't always a guarantee. I love them to bits and I wouldn't trade them for any strangers.

@itsmeheathermarie

3 ай бұрын

​@radioserrelind that's amazing! That does make me wonder how the idea started in the U.S. for kids to be out of the house by 18, seeing many countries don't do this. Very interesting, indeed...

@ibanezgirl4623

3 ай бұрын

@@radioserrelindI wish I had parents like that. I have CIRS from mold illness and possibly Lyme. Been on Disability since age 22. Get worse each year because I have to keep living in moldy homes. Don’t have the money to get myself out of slummy rentals. My mother can’t stand supporting anyone, even her own daughter. My parents are loaded, BTW. She’s always been the type to say “I’m not supporting an adult”. Told me I should’ve married a rich man. My fault, I guess. She’s highly abusive, so living with her would just make me more sick from the stress anyway. Probably the reason my immune system was trash in the first place. Want to become a Naturopath after everything I’ve been through, but it’ll probably never happen. Oh well. Life really is just a lot of luck.

I'm 36 and living back at home for the past two years and I HATE it. I don't go on dates because I'm embarrassed and fully understand why a woman wouldn't date me atm. I've little to no money because of an impending bankruptcy (why I'm at home). People say "oh you're saving money at home". But I'd rather break even in my own home that be rich living with my parents. In saying that, I got some tickets to work offshore on boats and other places for nearly 2/3 times the money I make now (plus tax-free) and 28 weeks off a year so after 2/3 months of that work I shall be moving out

@cobracommander9138

Күн бұрын

It's much more acceptable by everyone for a woman to live with her parents at 36 than a man at 36. You're good!

Dropped off at college, mom asked me if she should stay for a while. NO! I couldn't wait to be on my own! After school apartment with two roommates and a job. But needed my own place very quickly! Years of dating to 39! Two long relationships that ended. New guy 12 years younger asked me to marry him after less than a year! Married ( no kids - lots of dogs) for 35 years! Very happy and financially secure! Take your time and good video!

You're a delightful person, Nicole! I can't get over how likeable you are!

I think you’re bang on with your perspective on dating. Don’t ignore the signs that someone needs (or wants) a “nurse or a purse”. You make some other very valid points however IMO a big part of the problem is the shift in how parents have been parenting their kids. Too much helicoptering, not allowing kids to take risks and learn from the mistakes, less delayed gratification for material things. So many parents won’t let their kids experience what it’s like to go after what they want, dust themselves off if they stumble and fall, get up and keep on going. Then these people grow up to become parents themselves and the cycle starts all over again.

@mettamorph4523

3 ай бұрын

My parents gave us a small allowance, it wasn't payment for chores, it was just for our use. When I got my fast food job at 14, I asked that they stop giving me an allowance. I worked to give myself things they didn't pay for. I would get dressed and calculate who paid for each item I was wearing, and the less my parents had paid for the happier I was. Don't know why. Some people want financial independence and some don't.

You remind me so much of my sweet (25 y.o.) daughter Nicole: logical, rational, practical, and responsible. I call her “plumb bob” as a nickname because her head is screwed on so square, straight, and true! Ya both make me proud. ❤

@alanparsonsfan

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like mine as well, I am thankful that she is like Nicole just based on this, the only Nichole video I have watched. I may have to steal that 'plumb bob' nickname!

I do feel like more people today are emotionally stunted. More people feel the need to label themselves with “differently abled” and expect others to compensate or excuse their behaviors, rather than accept responsibility and adapt to the realities of the world. I’m not speaking in terms of accessibility. I’m speaking in terms of learning to tolerate discomfort at some middle ground. Somebody told me they were uncomfortable with me wearing a particular color “triggering” as if I should run home and change it. WTH! I think people having the ability to have so many selectively individualized options for entertainment through streaming, noise canceling headphones, online ordering, door dash… they no longer know how to be social, compromise and adapt. Their world has become so customizable that they are inflexible to change and growth. They are in their comfort zone. I grew up with three channels and one family tv. We had four ways to have coffee…black, black w/cream, black w/sugar, black w/cream and sugar.

@seltzermint5

3 ай бұрын

I do think in some cases we have gone from one extreme to another. While some of this seems maybe too black and white or harsh, there's some truth in what you said too. I 100% approve of greater acceptance for people with differences and making accommodations for them at school and work. But letting them opt out of social interactions completely is not what I consider an accommodation and that seems to be more & more common. That does not set anyone up for success or reaching their potential.

@colleenmarin8907

3 ай бұрын

Certain shades of yellow are physically painful to look at; but unless you bring up that you're wearing that color, I'll just avoid looking at your clothes

@krox477

3 ай бұрын

​World that is getting terrible each day

Remember, you can lose it all in a heartbeat 💓 Just enjoy life , Fuck everything else Life is too short

@keiranfoster12

Ай бұрын

Hallelujah!

@zcorpalpha2462

Ай бұрын

@@keiranfoster12 🥃🔥

Moved out at 17 to go to college. Rarely went home even though it was 45 minutes away. Moved out of state and got married at 31 which was way past the cultural expiration date for women in 1991. We saved money and bought a 1350 sq. foot house 2 weeks before our wedding. Our daughters are 30 and 27. Our 27 year old got married her longtime boyfriend last September, finished her masters the year before and is working full time. Our 30 year old is an RN, spent 2 years in the Peace Corps and is getting a masters while working. Simply put, they are adults.

@natashamann5455

2 ай бұрын

Well pin a rose on you lol

I moved out at 18 for college, but If hadn't been able to secure a job after college (22), i would've had to move back. However, my mom is very controlling so personally i would find it quite stifling if i had to live with her again as an adult. Ive enjoyed being on my own (26 now), and taking up responsibilities for myself has really improved my self worth and shown me that i can stand on my own two feet and take care of business. I love being independent from my mom, and I still love visiting with her. I do agree that a lot of young adults have infantilised themselves and seem to have given up on trying to move forward. They throw up their hands and say "see? The world is fucked and that's why i can't be bothered to try."

I'm 32 live with my parents and I agree with everything you said! 😂 Let me explain: My parents are veeeeery bad with money, household and be a parent at all. They never teached my how to tidy up or be frugal. I have bad depressions since I was 15 because of my parents and other things... I never had money as a kid or a teenager. At my 18th birthday (I was still a depressed baby!!) I got many thousands of Euros from my grandparents and freaked out... 😢 I bought everything I wanted and more and more and more... It was a really bad addiction. But of course the things didn't made me happy. At 22 I had no money and no job but still depressions worse than ever because I hated me soooo badly for what I had done! Yes, I'm still working myself out of that shit but hey I'm better in householding, tidying up, money, cooking and cleaning than my mom and I would never date a "man" who can't wash his clothes by himself or cook a basic meal! My parents are teenagers in their minds and I'm done with this 😅 Ready for finally moving out and let them behind me.

@mayrokratt6195

3 ай бұрын

i am stuck in the same spot but in savage third world country!

@user-xd7rc6eo8n

3 күн бұрын

Stop labeling yourself. We are all depressed.

Nice to wake up and be notified of a new video from Nicole 😊

Just found your channel and enjoyed the chat. I am 56, married 35 yrs, first career lasted 27 yrs and took early retirement. I took a year off and now am re-entering the workforce. What a massive shock! These hiring teams are not grown ups. Found your channel while doing research on how I can do a better job understanding their position. I mentor young people and am constantly telling them they need to hang out with better people, so your comment at 17:33 is spot on. Thank you for the content.

Better alone than in bad company. I liked very much your video.

the mommy's meatballs had be crackin up while folding my laundry. I love these date stories, please tell more in separate videos!!

I just checked and I was unsubscribed to your channel without consent. I had to subscribe again.

@schuylergeery-zink1923

3 ай бұрын

KZread plays games

@karmageddon9136

3 ай бұрын

@@schuylergeery-zink1923 KZread has been doing this to many channels.

@edvvardcash6109

3 ай бұрын

That happened to me too. This channel is very benign to be unsubscribed to randomly I don't get it.

Meatball guy was testing you to see how much crap you'd be willing to accept. Glad you didn't fall for it.

@animal79thecat

Ай бұрын

Meatball shit-test

I have been on my own for 15 years but recently my mother broke her shoulder and became disabled. I am considering caring for her and letting her live with me, but watching something like this gives me pause.

I agree with everything you said. Your parents must be extremely proud of you Nicole.

Your analytic prowess is extraordinary, and practical. I am impressed.

I was 18 when I moved out on my own, and I never went back except to visit. I delayed college, got a full-time job, paid my rent and all my other bills. When I went to college, I paid my tuition as I went, so I graduated without loans. I'm from the Boomer generation, and we definitely had a different set of standards.

@andrirublov

3 ай бұрын

yes, you had boomer privilege

@blueskysummit6153

3 ай бұрын

@@andrirublov I'm not sure privilege is how it took it, but there you have it.

@marianmoses9604

3 ай бұрын

@@andrirublovGrow up. The dude moved out at 18 - got a job - and actually WORKED for the things he wanted in life. That’s not “privilege.” Privilege is the lifestyle Hunter Biden enjoys. Regular folks don’t get everything just fucking handed to them. We WORK.

One thing that I notice where I live (Southern Europe): employers count on the number of people who live with their parents and count on low salaries these people are fine with. It applies to entry level but also senior positions. When you ask for a salary higher than they believe they should give you, they start asking about your personal life, if you have children, problems, etc. It is especially annoying. They don’t care about your skills, only on your ability to work for less.

"Adulting" is a term I've used just because I find it amusing, but it never occurred to me to question where the term originated. I guess I would've just chalked it up to snarky/subversive millennial humor. Your observation about it creating a permissive subculture around parasitism is very astute. Thank you for sharing!

Much of this is what I made as a condition of my current relationship. Now 15yrs in, we've moved to another state and built up our lives to a successful stable life with a house and no other debts. Neither of us would be as well off if it wasn't for each other, but because we committed to making life better for each other, we're stronger in our relationship than any relationships prior.

We are 53, and 57. Married 33 years. We both own small businesses. We dont make a ton, but we make enough to live nicely, and save a little. We chose real-estate for our retirement. We utilized and maximized our own lot that we live on, by adding a 2 bedroom 1.5 bathroom above our 2 car garage, moving into it, then renting our house, which paid both mortgage. About 4 yrs later, we had enough equity to buy a small duplex, which already had renters. Once you have rentals which creates instant equity, you can keep on going, even at our age! Real-estate is where its at!!

Nicole, this is my favorite video of yours!! You are wise beyond your years, good for you. Very well said.

Womem shouldn't be sorry for asking the bear minimum. We don't want a kid when dating.

@AccordingtoNicole

3 ай бұрын

If I wanted another mouth to feed and another mess to clean, I’d get another dog.

@seltzermint5

3 ай бұрын

100%. When I was dating "again" in my 30s post divorce a lot of the guys were also looking for stepmom figures. I would tell them immediately that was not in the cards.

Out of all your videos I have watched this one is the best. I’m retired but work part time. I work with a lot of younger people and they really need to see this video. I’ll try to pass it on to them, hopefully they’ll take time out of their meaningless scrolling to watch it. Thanks. Keep up the good work.

Very good and thank you for your stories. Much appreciated.

Hi Nicole! I absolutely love your advice. It is way beyond your years, and it mirrors my own feelings but I wish I had figured this out about ten years ago.

I hope a lot of women in the dating game watch this and take your advice. Too many boys in adult bodies not wanting to grow up. I have been out of the dating scene for a very long time but it is probably much the same for mature guys looking for a responsible woman.

Answering your questions: was 15 when I moved out (alone to another country, for a special highschool of gifted music students), then my parents covered my expenses since I had school whole 8am-6/7pm and at 6am I was already practicing. When I finished highschool and started music academy I started teaching privately and that made me financially completely independent by the age of 20, now I have my own flat (my parents helped a lot with that because they could and this way I don't owe money to anyone, no debt/mortgage etc., but actually flats in Romania are not that crazy expensive like in the Western world), I am 36, work in a state orchestra, have a husband and a toddler. Yes, I am "adulting" as well and hate the expression too😂😂 I love your video though, always happy to see the new one😄 And could not agree more: your life is great enough on its own and it's not worth sharing with anyone when that means you have to lower your standards or raise your expenses in order for it to be sustainable. Better alone anyone than with someone who is "disabled on purpose".

@covahsmusicvault8953

3 ай бұрын

I'm responding to your impressive comment mostly because folks in the states insist I'm much better off here than having grown up in Sibiu, Romania. My birth parents were killed when I was just 6 months of age. My mum's grandmei was in my life till I was almost 5...so I've no blood family outside the states. I just turned 53 last Friday yet grew up in all sorts of ways just shy of 5. My children will be 34 & 32 this August. Both are estranged from me...much having to do with their inability to accept my work injury which has left me physically-impaired since their preteen years. I was their *ever-tumbling boulder.* Now I'm at the mercy of govt. benefits due to a spinal cord work injury that has left me with violent seizures and nocturnal oxygen treatments just to keep myself alive. I think I'd be dead were it not for the stubborn bloodline that bounces through my crippled cage. Most folks in the states choose to pity my situation, claiming "they'd just off themselves if they were me." So even though I'd likely benefit from a helper, I choose to keep what's left of my dignity and force myself into constant adaptation so my senior dogs & I can remain in our home of choice. The only positive outcome of my forced impairments was when a Work Comp judge awarded me back pay in late 2019. It wasn't much but enough to put down on a home in 2021. Stability was nonexistent in all of our lives till I made that choice...I even purchased it with both my children in mind as well as slight possibility of future bloodlines. As it stands, I seem to be the ONLY person out of the 4 of us who has any sort of real stability. I've NO tears for him/my ex, but I worry 24/7 for my children. Each pay in 1 month for a singular room {no kitchen privileges} what I pay for my entire mortgage & all utilities in almost 3 months. I'm NOT begging them to move in. I just cannot fathom how they can complain about their struggles when I purposely bought the kids & I a split-level dwelling. Either could fully reside in this house w/o living back home due to the layout of my house. Myself & senior dogs live on its smaller main floor and the downstairs has everything needed less a stove. I promised myself and children if I ever received funds from those who shattered our lives....I'd do my best to repair it by purchasing us a forever home in which any of the 3 of us could safely reside. I have NO property in either of my birth parents' countries, so this dwelling begins with me. My daughter/the eldest...recently told me she didn't want it because "it's in the U.S." That makes me livid because neither of my kids were born abroad and both are educated enough to stop struggling. They tell me I made it difficult to "fit in with their peers" because I raised them with independent values. I love them very much....however, I've NO clue why they choose to struggle. Any input would be appreciated. Hugs, ~ Covah

I moved out at 18 and now 33, homeowner, on track for early retirement even though im a single dad. Most guys i know are as you describe. Adult children who gave up the idea of maturing for one reason or another.

I love your honesty and how frank and to the point you are exactly my type of person. Xx

Gen X here. I fell in love at 18 with my best friend. We got married two months after graduating from college. If my mom could have kept me living at home forever. Not to take care of me, though. She said, "You would cook and clean for me. I'm not stupid, lol!" I couldn't WAIT to move out, though! My husband's mom had been staying with her parents to help take care of her dad, so we stayed at her house. We decided to buy the house from her because she had trouble keeping up with mortgage, and had to take care of her parents anyway. It was in disrepair, so we we remodeled it all on our own. We ended up living there for 20 years, selling it at a nice profit and purchasing a larger home over 10 years ago.

I have been in survival mode since 2008, regardless of how much money I have. Making minimum wage and trying to pay for a car and student debt, while going to college, each part time shift just barely covering the fuel to get there, things were pretty dark. Its completely changed how I spend, and think about money. But Alas the boomers like to say "millennials haven't even been through a recession!"... open your eyes boomer we are IN a recession and have been for years. The infantilizing of millennials by boomers is real too, I think the alcoholism and affinity for pills has taken its toll on the brain, the instructions are for stupid people generation is just causing damage at this point.. There it is, my first boomer rant ever. That kinda felt good lol A Millennial

You are so intelligent and a great communicator. I love your honestly and your channel is enlightening and funny and honest! I am so impressed. I’m 66, a grandma and I’m learning something from you with each video. Thank you!

You see some adults moving back into their parents house for financial reasoning. But what you described (mommy's meatballs) is a whole different level.

Loved this video, the trades are still a very good suggestion too, those are always in need. Pulling your own weight is also something I needed to hear. I pay my own bills and split expenses with my BF but it is true that becuase I only make a 3rd of what he does, that it does keep us in a certain spending range I can afford. So far this has been ok though since we both save a lot and our apartment is much cheaper for the area we are in. He goes above and beyond though in keeping our place clean, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, cleaning my cats litter box, getting my cat food sometimes, doing laundry, and he pays for his own car expenses as I don't have a car. I really need to step it up becuase I have definetly not been doing my fair share and realize that I'm taking everything he does for granted Thank you so much for the critism, I need to be better for my partner!

Unfortunately i have been "Adulting" since i was 17 and it blows, but i still made a go of it. One thing i have to disagree on is renting, just buy a cheap place in undesirable area and live there while you save up for somewhere better. In most cases property doesn't lose value and its the first stepping stone to a better home while building equity.

@nicoleg7194

3 ай бұрын

Yes, I have a 3 bedroom. It’s not a bad area of my town, but like a rich area. My mortgage is $600 a month. You cannot rent a 3 bedroom where I live for $600. When I separated from my ex husband I was paying $485 for a 1 bedroom here before I got this place. And it was in the student area and surrounded every night by students. Bar behind the apt and another across the street. It was so loud almost every night, crappy place and crappy parking. I was only there around a year then bought this place in 2018. That 1 bedroom is probably more now too (and it was the cheapest thing I could find when I moved after we separated).

@nicoleg7194

3 ай бұрын

*but not a rich area

I was 18 when I moved out of home (against my parents wishes). I was sick of small town life and made the decision to “skrew you all- legally I’m an adult and I’m moving to japan lol” I was super babied/spoiled even into my teens and it was a shock to the system I barely took care of myself 😂 I had no idea how to do laundry, I lived on bread, kiwi fruit and convenience store coffee-all of this in combination with culture/language shock. Jesus 😂 what an adventure. Wasn’t until I was 27 and i met my current partner and moved in with him that I learned to cook actual real food 😂 he taught me and we share cooking days. I’ve relied so much on others around me to learn basic life skills. It’s really embarrassing. I feel like my parents have deliberately starved me of these basic skills so I always feel dependent on them or need them.

Totally agree what everything you’ve said. Also very enjoyable to watch ❤

I wish I had you as someone to look up and listen to when I was a teenager. You are so on point with the way you think and live your life. I am 68 now and kind of late, lol, but I enjoy your videos immensely ❤

It sure makes sense to look for a partner that has similar mindset as you, and even more important, that he shows interest... the second was indeed telling that he'd rather have a date with his mom than with you. I'm gen X, born during the oil crisis of the 70's... somehow expectations had been amazing in the second half of the sixties and it was a horrible wake up call in the 70's, the sky was not the limit, everybody back with both feet on the ground.

First time commenter I've been following you for about a half year. Perfect video!! I gained a lot of insight and feel I am a lot better at life and adulting than I sometimes give myself credit for. I am single and I live on my own almost ready to move into a bigger place and taking along my personal minimalist lifestyle that works for me with it. I've been trying at this lifestyle for about 20-25 years but still work at it as things change over time and sometimes I fail at keeping up but overall I keep getting back on the horse or sailing my ship so to speak. I have come a long way. It's cleaning day and I am more motivated after watching this video. I hang around the right people and I am totally into your KZread Channel. Thanks a bunch!! Will see you next week!

Excellent….you hit the nail on the head as always….Love to Levi..❤

I was 21 when I moved out because my girlfriend was pregnant. I was still a dumb kid and had to grow up real fast! Even in the late 90s this was not the norm among people I knew. All my friends were still single and living at home, living their single lives right through into their 30s and for a while I jealous! But now I'm in my late 40s and my kids have all grown up and they're only just starting families - I wouldn't have the energy to be doing all that now!

You are a good egg, Nicole. Best wishes from Australia.

@AccordingtoNicole

3 ай бұрын

Fun fact about eggs. They come out of a chickens butt because chickens only have 1 hole.

@SamhainBe

3 ай бұрын

@@AccordingtoNicole "cloaca" fact - nice!

@iamjane9628

3 ай бұрын

@@AccordingtoNicole 🤣🤣🤣

@schuylergeery-zink1923

3 ай бұрын

That’s why they’re called Butt Nuggets

@Christian-qu9ml

3 ай бұрын

Well, I had to google this, lol. I did not know this. One learns something new every day! 😂

I moved out at 18 to go to college far away from my hometown, and I never looked back. Granted, I received financial support from my family during my college years, but right after graduating I was on my own.

Wow the stories so insightful! I learned so much about myself . Thank you! I need to do better . I have my own home but would like to not live so tight .

50s gen x never married and no kids. I moved out age 18 and never looked back, I really hate the prescribed 'milestones' imposed on all of us...unless you do the formula of marriage, house, kids , you are a failure. But marriage was invented by men for men. It is slim pickings for straight women these days if you ask me, I would rather be alone than settle and that is exactly what I did. But good luck...it is a numbers game and takes stamina!!

I'm a 57 year old woman and you are a fresh of breath air. Your one smart cookie. I remember my grandmother telling me the same conversation when I was a young girl that you are telling. Bless your ❤.

This video makes a great point!

If a guy lives with his mom, that would be a red flag before even going out on the first date. 😂

I lived with my parents until I was 27. I am a full generation ahead of you. I was very embarrassed that I was still living with them - and having to tell others. But at least I was focused on my goals - school, getting a big boy job, paying off student debt, and saving for a down payment. Most of my extra money went to paying off debt or saving for my goal. My mom also charged me $150 month plus yard work (probably $300 now); she probably should have made me responsible for my own breakfast and lunch too, to push independence. At least I did my laundry. It was a huge relief once I got my own condo.

@markbajek2541

3 ай бұрын

And you already knew how to separate whites from colors

@aerrae5608

3 ай бұрын

@@markbajek2541 Just use cold water, never had a color run onto my whites.

These stories are hilarious! I've met such guys too, and they make me hysterical (and with every person something else was wrong besides the fact that they still live with their mommy). I'm also 31 now, and I left my parents' home 8 years ago (still a bit late in my current opinion, I should have tried to do it earlier). And that was the year when my real life started. I don't even see myself as a real personality before the age 23. It wasn't the real me, it was just a person embryo, truly. And since then I've never even asked my parents for something rather than advise. And it makes me proud of myself. And I don't respect people older some certain age if they live with their parents, it keeps them in child position no matter if they realize it or not. Coming back home to my parents seems to me like the last option, an act of despair in case my full life falls apart (which hopefully will never ever happen). And I make more money than my husband, and sometimes pay for our vacation 😂 Still better than owe anyone anything.

@goodwin.the.wizard

3 ай бұрын

Despite the fact that I've always earned more than my husband, I remember clearly when I kinda truly fell in love with him. I invited him to my apartment, and he cleaned all of my pans and pots from the outer sides, which I had avoided doing for months 🤣 And also fixed my kitchen drawer without me asking. Good tip for every guy to conquer an independent girl's heart!

@pudznerath6532

3 ай бұрын

So if i was your manager at one of your jobs or something you wouldnt do what i say, if you knew i lived with my parents? or you wouldnt offer me any kind of common courtesy?

@goodwin.the.wizard

3 ай бұрын

@@pudznerath6532 Don't see how it may be connected. I don't date my managers, and I'm not interested in their personal life. Probably, I won't say anything because it's none of my business, and what I think about them is none of theirs.

@goodwin.the.wizard

3 ай бұрын

@@pudznerath6532 I don't see how it may be connected. I don't date my managers and I'm not interested in their private life. Probably, I wouldn't say anything because it's none of my business, and what I think about them is none of theirs.

I love watching your videos. Keep it up 🙏👍😎

Preach, Nicole! I agree with everything you said.

This video is going to make soooo many people mad, I'm sure. But I agree with you. I see so many people who are telling me or other people with absolutely normal "achievements" in life that they are lucky. Like dude, where the word "lucky" is coming from? It's just learning the most relevant skills online or from friends and finding an entry job with those skills by passing a job interview ONLINE. People are babying themselves way too much today. Internet, ChatGPT, Udemy, etc. do exist today. It costs extremely low to get where you want. Just put some time in yourself and not into video games.

Am about twice your age, divorced male and impressed with your direct, simple communications and clear thought processes. First, your expectations for a dating partner are completely valid. You have worked, planned and exhibited self-discipline on numerous occasions to get to where you are now. It is only fair to want someone who is roughly a peer as a partner. Also think your analysis of the infantilization of those staying at home with their parents is accurate. It is very unfortunate that the price of housing and rentals has gone way beyond affordable for young people, so for some a temporary return may be necessary for a time. When I graduated college my father had left my mother. I got a job and stayed in the house, doing the yard work and house cleaning. Saved money for a house downpayment till I met a girl and got married and bought a house. Took about 2 years and I was out. I am very happy that my daughter is level headed as you are. She just got married this summer at the end of being 25 to a responsible young man whom I trust. I am blessed, and I know it.

This video is spot on, I can totally relate. The saying is “I can do bad on my own”! 💯💯💯

You have given some indispensable wisdom.Thank you.

42 y/o male here, and I love your take. Honest, straight forward, no nonsense, and perfectly fair and reasonable. You did mention something that, while I agree with you, made me think of a common refrain I hear from both sides of the gender aisle, and that is that you don't want to downgrade your quality of life or lifestyle by dating ('taking on' is what I believe you said) someone who's lifestyle and quality of life isn't as good or to your current standard. I still agree w/you at this point. What I have seen and heard is that quite often women want a lifestyle and quality of life that will be offered by a man that is better than their current quality of life. What's more, these same women will dismiss plenty of men who can offer an improved lifestyle and quality of life, however because it isn't to the level or standard that they want provided, it's not good enough. Never mind that these men could provide a step up from where they currently are, if it's not a big enough step up, then it's simply not enough, period. THAT is something I (and many, many men) think is ridiculous and what makes a great deal of women appear to be gold diggers and money hungry. Would love to hear your take.

@mettamorph4523

3 ай бұрын

That's a different scenario, IMO. She's not "shopping for better". She's seeking her own level. Does he have any ambition or self-motivation and has he enacted any part of a plan for self-sufficiency. That's not golddigging. I think a golddigger's whole plan is to siphon off someone else's ambition.

@rosieposie9564

3 ай бұрын

Women must know what they want. No one else gets to decide if the step or level the other person requires to be comfortable or satisfied is too much.

@ryankelly3953

3 ай бұрын

@@rosieposie9564 totally agree, just as men must know what they want and no one else gets to decide if what they want is good or bad. This can include a woman who follows traditional gender roles, has not slept with a lot of other men, does not consider herself a 'boss babe' or 'bad b*tch', and is generally a source of peace and calm in his life, not a source of angst, arguing and fighting, and overall chaos.

@ryankelly3953

3 ай бұрын

@@mettamorph4523 you got it, not shopping for better. Sadly, these days a lot of people say that they want "equal partnerships" when in reality they're looking for someone who exceeds them in both solid metrics (income, net worth, job titles) as well as more subjective metrics (attractiveness, social status, exclusivity, network of friends and colleagues, etc.), which is anything but 'equal'.

@rosieposie9564

3 ай бұрын

@@ryankelly3953 I agree with you.Truthfully, I would not want anyone who has been sleeping around either. Boss babes and bad b*tch types appear dumb, aggressive and seriously aggravating to me too so I understand you on that. Glad you know what you want and I encourage you not to settle for anything else.

Baby Boomer here. At 17 I had a car ,a job and a boyfriend I called “Digger”. I’d stopped by his place on the way to work to drop off some albums. He didn’t want me to go to work so he grabbed my keys . Ran outside and buried them in flower bed!!! His Mom chased him with a broom hitting him and yelling get her keys. I can still remember watching them from the second floor. It took 15 minutes of broom beating it I got my keys . Never saw him again

good video--thanks.

24 years old still living at home. I don’t think what you said in this video is too harsh, I think it was just enough. It’s a slap in the face of reality without being insensitive. Both stories remind me of myself in more ways than I would like to admit but I don’t want to be that way in my 30’s and sure as shit not in my 40’s. It’s a rough world out there but I have to adapt if it means independence (which would also lead to better mental health).

I think sometimes people express they have no interest in changing their sub-par lifestyle because they're embarrassed by their job and they want to appear as if they aren't. But maybe you're right and there is a complete generation that just doesn't want to grow up. My generation is not like that.

@GigaChad_169

3 ай бұрын

A lot of people have no interest in changing their sub-par lifestyle because they're comfortable. That's it. When people get uncomfortable, that lights a fire under their butt to do something. Modern life has become very comfortable, even for people on the lower end of the socioeconomic ladder as compared to human existence historically. Life was A LOT harder historically than it is today by all measures.

I'm a 58 year old man with a great job and a house that I am very close to owning outright. But the person who I am today is not anything like who I was prior to age 36. That was when I finally decided to grow up. Prior to that, I lived with my parents, skipped from job to job (if employed at all), and partied away what little money I had. All of the people with whom I associated were of similar mindset. It literally took me 36 years to decide that I wanted more out of life, but it took me another decade to realize that I actually deserve it. In my twenties I had severe self-confidence issues, and if I had listened to this video back then, I would have known deep down inside that she is correct, but I would have been incredibly intimidated; I would have believed that I didn't have what it takes to live up to her standards, and ended up with a huge resentment, believing that I was somehow left out when it came to abilities. It was a childish viewpoint. It took me years of life experience, self reflection, and even professional therapy to learn to believe in myself to the degree that Nicole believes in herself. Graduating with my B.A. and a 3.6 GPA is one of the things that redefined the way I see myself. However the most useful resource, hands down, is the knowledge I get from other people - books that they write, videos like this one, and in-person conversation (with an open mind) with individuals whom I admire - all of these have been a great source of learning and wisdom for me. Developing listening skills was essential in this endeavor. Combine that with meditation and meaningful spiritual practice, and you have the formula for what I call Human Revolution. I finally came to realize that I am a highly-capable individual and I always had that potential. Nicole doesn’t sugar-coat her commentary, which would have sounded incredibly harsh to me in my twenties. But now it just sounds like facts - facts that I should have internalized and acted upon decades ago.

Mom's spaghetti and meatballs sounds pretty good right now! 🤣

Very insightful. I love that you say what people are thinking but won’t say

This is SPOT ON! I’m also 31 (we bought our house in 2022) and I feel blessed to have married a good man but I know how hard it is out there for young people. Definitely hold true to your standards! It’s better to be single than sacrifice for a below bare minimum effort person who can’t get their life together… also better to be single than be in a toxic relationship. They would drag you down into the pits of hell and feel bitter at your success is the theme I see from those who have dated these sorts of people.

@littlesometin

3 ай бұрын

"these sorts"

Stories like these is why I dont want to even try to date anymore. and im a straight guy. dating to me feels like walking in an insane asylum while blindfolded, so nah thanks ill pass, esp since mentally im like from a previous generation so i cant really vibe with the modern stuff. I have my job, focused on that, sending money home cause its beyond needed, and for the rest, looking forward to a day ill be able to buy a beater. For a guy and a rotten degree, I feel fortunate to just be working on a real job and having enough money to support others that i love. as for big ol goals in life, screw that, ill just figure out the next step when i feel its time to move on from this job.

As an elder millennial (1981) I can relate with this. I moved out of my mom's and briefly with my dad at 23 before getting an apt with my now-husband at 24. Life was expensive and hard 20 years ago and I acknowledge I had some help and privileges that others do not despite my physical and mental health issues,which compared to some, nowhere near as bad as what others I know have going on. I graduated from college, got married and had a kid at 24 and also started a full-time job with benefits all in the same year. I was the first of my close friends to get married, have a kid and become a homeowner, not the first to graduate or get a "real" job but ahead of some. I think nowadays though, life has gotten so much more expensive and that makes it even harder. At 30/31 I got into the local cosplay/nerd scene as a bonding activity with my daughter who was 7 or 8 at the time. We befriended many folks along the way, including "adult children". Now they're older and in their 30s, and many are still living at home, not working real jobs. Granted, a good amount of them reside in economically deprived neighborhoods, or are more severe on the autism spectrum, or have other mental health issues that are somewhat debilitating, so they need the supervision, or they can't seem to get better jobs, especially right now. Then there are others I feel just make excuses and spend their money on crap they don't need and just don't want to ever grow up. That part I find unsettling. As much as I wish I was able to get more involved into my niche interests/nerdy things when I was younger, I'm glad I was able to live a more normal life first because I dont make my niche interests or any one aspect of myself my entire personality. I'm seeing that not only in the cosplay scene, but in other groups I'm associated with, and honestly those folks are boring. I like variety and to experience different things. My daughter is a senior in high school now and turned 18 recently. I am concerned about what the world will be like for her. She is planning on going to college but only part-time to start and wants to work more steadily, which I think is great. I fucked up my first year of college because I wasn't ready for the "freedom" and partied too much. I'm not seeing that with her, but sometimes I think I make things too comfortable for her. She is also has learning disabilities , and is on the autism spectrum, but very high functioning. We also helped her get her license and a used car so she can be more independent. And her grandparents opened a bank account for her and there is some money put aside for when she is older. I think besides the current state of affairs in the world, I think some of these adult children didn't have their parents pushing them to do better nor did their parents plan for their future. I think some people have kids just to have someone to take care of them when they fall ill or get old. It's not their kids' responsibility to take care of them. Meanwhile they have kids and don't plan for their futures. I don't want my kid to be burdened with that bs, I want her to have a successful career and be independent. If it takes a little longer that is okay. I only had one kid on purpose. Didn't like being pregnant and didn't have the mental or physical energy to have any more. Kids are expensive too. I also wanted to give her a good life, better than the bullshit I had to deal with, and help plan for her future. I couldn't imagine having to do that for the 4/5/6 kids people have. Chances are they aren't planning shit for these kids and just popping them out. My friend is the oldest of 7, still lives at home, caring for disabled parents and younger siblings, but when it comes to help she's told to "figure it out" I have another friend who recently got employed ft and the employer is not thrilled with all the time off she requested for trips and conventions. Said in her comments on social media that she having fun now because when her dad passes, she's accepted that she'll probably be homeless. I get being numb to current economic situation and not wanting to waste your life working. Hell I wanted to retire when I started and I agree that life is too short to waste it working and being miserable. But that is a shit-mentality to have. If you're homeless where are you putting all the collectible stuff you have? Okay this comment is long enough. Love your videos Nicole. Thank you for great content and I hope you have a great week.

Nicole: this channel should be HUGE ! You are right on the money in your thoughts and the logic that brought you to them. You should be a leader of not only your generation but anyone at any stage of life. I’m 73 and can only wish that I had a mentor like you when I was young. It has taken me a lifetime to get where you are. Keep up the good work ! 👍👍

I doubt you use Better Help, Nicole. I doubt you use Athletic Greens, either, as you otherwise recommended.. I was extremely happy to learn on your last video however (I think that's where it was) that you're learning that you can afford to spend at least some money on things that may otherwise seem extravagant to people such as my Mum (not that you know her... she spends nothing)... Real wealth comes from things like the love of a loyal dog, as you know ;-) Thanks again for all your videos XXX

@AccordingtoNicole

3 ай бұрын

I don’t need to convince you of anything, but I do use both. I get enough brand offers that I don’t need to partner with a company I don’t like or find value in.

Sorry you're having to deal with that mentality. I am 53, and when I was growing up, I worked construction with my dad in the summer and still mowed lawns from spring to fall on the weekends from like age 12 to 18 when I graduated high school. I had rented my own house at 18 and was going to college part time. I don't get the laziness.

@bluedragontoybash2463

3 ай бұрын

and how much did you pay for housing rent and college ?

@chazhaze1580

3 ай бұрын

@bluedragontoybash2463 the moral of my story isn't cost it's mentality. Yes it was cheaper to live back then, and I lost everything in the 2008 crash, including almost my life, making me unable to walk from 2009 to 2014, and subsequent surgeries up through 2018. Yet, I still keep trying to move forward. I ended up getting a job with the post office in 2022, while I struggle with pain regularly, it makes me feel better knowing I am able to do something. And yes rent and housing, food and car payments are ridiculous but I try!

@seltzermint5

3 ай бұрын

@@bluedragontoybash2463 excellent point. I think a lot of people in their 40s and up (I'm 47) don't understand just how much the cost of living has increased. In the late 90s I made $9/hr but rent was $360 and it cost like $2k/year for my state university. Now rent in the same area is over $1k and tuition $15k. Wages are higher but not by THAT much, maybe double but that's it (for entry level work).

@chazhaze1580

3 ай бұрын

@bluedragontoybash2463 and to answer your question at 18, I had a 3-2-1 house in a decent area about 1300 sqft for $400 a month, water averaged $30 to $50 a month electricity was about $120 -150. I had a landline phone for $45 or so. My car I paid cash for $500, and it ran forever like a dream but got maybe 12 to 16 mpg, but gas was .83 to 88 cents a gallon in the late 80s. TVs and food were similar in price as they were before the pandemic. Except all bread was about .69 or 3 for $1.00 if you went to the day old bread stores that Mrs Bairds and Wonder bread companies had back then. Minimum wage was $3.14, but you could easily make $5.00 -6.00 at a lot of places, and if you worked labor $7.00 or more. These were all entry level type jobs in the Dallas/ Ft. Worth metro area.

@bluedragontoybash2463

3 ай бұрын

yep.. that was what I guess too. Thank you for being honest @@chazhaze1580

The duty of parents is to instill in their children the absolute necessity of independence and self reliance. If they don't do this, they have failed their children. However, corporate America must start moving away from minimum wage jobs if they want workers who can afford to buy their homes and lead meaningful lives. Who's going to buy homes, raise kids,own cars etc on minimum wages? Nobody.

Thanks for making this video, it's the sort I'm going to have to watch a few times. 😐🙂

I don't date for two main reasons. One, I'm trying to improve myself and my situation to get a foothold on getting my life on the trajectory I want to be on first. And second, currently I don't feel like I have anything meaningful to offer someone to improve their life. At least not for the sort of person that I want to be in a relationship with, sure I'd be a great catch for "mommy's meatballs" but who wants to settle for that?

@AccordingtoNicole

3 ай бұрын

You mean you don’t want to eat his mommy’s meatballs? 🥺🥺🥺

@enso8379

3 ай бұрын

@@AccordingtoNicole No, not at all. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than have to be the caretaker of an adult child. I'm already a parent.