I’ll be honest, when I saw the video title “how a real Scotsman makes his porridge” I wasn’t expecting “three sweetener tablets and then microwave it into oblivion”.

@6string42

5 жыл бұрын

I too wanted to see him cook his porridge in a kilt over a fire in a thatch roof hut

@kevanparker908

5 жыл бұрын

Wife banned me from the Microwave nuclear explosions of porridge?

@bryanst.martin7134

5 жыл бұрын

@David Parry I worked in an Auto Parts store in Virginia with a Scottish man who went by Scotty. Ok Doug. A couple walks in and start asking for parts, when the woman asks are you from Scotland? And when she found he had learned his trade in Scotland, she asked you have auto parts stores in Scotland? He says "Shit yeah M'am, and we have electricity too!" Her husband nearly wet himself. Me too!

@plasmodium4220

5 жыл бұрын

Where I'm from we refer to that size of grip seal bags as "half-ounce bags"

@plasmodium4220

5 жыл бұрын

@David Parry No, actually it's also used widely in the UK along side "keys", "gees" and "nine-bars". After brexit anything could happen!

“Oats. -A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people. -Samuel Johnson

@ecmcd

3 жыл бұрын

‘Aye, and that’s why England has such fine horses, and Scotland such fine people.’ -James Boswell

@allanfulton7569

2 жыл бұрын

@@ecmcd lol definitely but if you want to try oats similar to what they ate 200 years ago buy Irish cut oats but make sure you cook it to the directions. They take a long time to cook and trust me use a pot on the stove it's going to be less frustrating.

@williamarthurfenton1496

Жыл бұрын

@@allanfulton7569 Yea, pinhead and steel cut is another name they go by. They do taste better I think, but it just ain't worth taking 30 minutes just to cook a bloody bowl of porridge.

@CrimsonRose29

4 ай бұрын

@@williamarthurfenton1496For some that’s part of what makes it so enjoyable. I love taking my time making my daily bowl of porridge. I sometimes simmer it on very low heat for a full hour after toasting the oats for ten minutes.

The Porridge Drawer story is true, my father was at college in Glasgow in the late 40's and remembered them in the tenement lodgings, the porridge was made as thick as cement so it set solid and could be sliced and wrapped in paper. The drawers were metal lined. Very practical really - in those simpler times.

@BodywiseMustard

2 жыл бұрын

'40s *

@almac2598

Жыл бұрын

Great Grandad was a shepherd. Porridge was made and poured into the drawer. Once it had cooled enough not to evaporate the important constituent, whisky was added. When cool, divided into segments. A piece, suitably wrapped, was his lunch when out in the hills.

3:02 Brown sugar just has molasses added to or left in it. This makes it taste better. White sugar just taste like one thing, sweet. Brown sugar has a caramel like taste.

"Unfortunately, when you open them, they smell like piss" I think someone's been pissing in your cranberries.

@raykent3211

5 жыл бұрын

He might have got cause and effect back to front. If he eats cranberries everyday maybe some of the aromatics pass through his kidneys, so it's not that cranberries smell of piss, but that his piss smells of cranberries. But I'm not sure if I've eaten cranberries, so I don't know how they smell. Fresh piss of a healthy person hardly smells at all, after an hour or several it stinks.

@109268

5 жыл бұрын

@@raykent3211 probably this. If I go on a coffee bender my pee definitely smells like coffee. And occasionally of popcorn strangely enough.

@danh6079

5 жыл бұрын

Well known food preservative, like farts in pre cooked ham

@someguy2741

5 жыл бұрын

Lol. That explains it. Next time check the package. No artificial preservatives that cause cancer. We use piss.

@mikethompson5966

5 жыл бұрын

@@109268 i get this from coffee aswell and crazy as it sounds weed!! i smoke a lot of weed and once in awhile while i urinate it smells like a stinky dubie.

Brought the topic up with my mum (88). Her dad was a geordie but his mum and dad were glasgow shipbuilder. He was born 1903. The drawer in their case was a massive cast Iron oven bottom dish. Porridge made Monday morning with water and lots of salt before starting that weeks wash (the big set pot was only boiled on monday!) and by thursday they couldn't afford to use the stove more than once a day if lucky. Covered with Sunday's newspaper and stored on the stone shelf of the larder. Fed 2 adults, 4 kids for 7 days + rats etc. Treat was to fry it up with the goop from a pig's trotter or lard. By Saturday it was getting dry - so eaten with lard, butter or just water. Sugar treacle etc was about (esp on the docks) but not used by adults as much as it was after WW2.

@thumbsucker29

5 жыл бұрын

Andy White sweet Jesus that is grim.

@whitehoose

5 жыл бұрын

@@thumbsucker29 It was just how life was. No penicillin, no NHS, average age in many industrial towns was 35-40 and wages were pretty poor. Lung pie, tripe, haggis and pig's trotters, offals were luxury foods usually the working men got the lion's share, dripping and jam sandwiches were staple foods for the rest (if they were lucky). Compared to Glasgow, Newcastle was almost pleasant. Conditions were bad everywhere "up north". The smallest graze could kill you ... but they were as bad everywhere (possibly worse in Glasgow though) Families were big because you had to have spares! (and there was no tv!) ... and the army was short on conscription candidates, 1914 almost 40% of volunteers were refused due to malnutrition. They had to feed them up to get them fit enough to be slaughtered in the trenches. First world problems eh?

@dorianleakey

5 жыл бұрын

@@whitehoose NO TV! The horror! My mother was given tripe while visiting a friend as a child, she didn't like it but it was during the war and you didn't waste food. She went to the toilet after finishing it and threw up, they kindly gave her a 2nd helping.

@whitehoose

5 жыл бұрын

@@dorianleakey Indeed, old JLBaird hadn't achieved much by then. We have a market stall in Halifax that sells a wide variety of tripe and a flash new restaurant that serves chicken feet and fancy tripe as well as bulls bollocks on chips. I love liver, kidney and the cuts that take hours to cook ... but I don't like shellfish or anything that is inside out - and that goes for the squishy bits of the lymphatic system of cows too. My grandad used to save fish bones and marrow (which is like greasy butter!) and chew them before lighting a woodbine. Eating at their house was both an adventure and a real pleasure. In 1962 they finally swapped the radio for a telly (I still have their clockwork record layer) but apart from the racing and football results he would sit looking out the window most of the time

@markfergerson2145

4 жыл бұрын

@@whitehoose Poor Americans typically ate a lot of "squishy bits" and "inside out" stuff too. My mother told me similar tales but never fed me any. On the other hand my German grandmother would make some of the best and some of the weirdest dishes for the same meal.

The porridge in the drawer thing is very real. My grandmother, who was a farmer, used to do it with sultanas and some flaked almonds mixed in and papped it into a greaseproof paper lined old sideboard drawer. The drawer never lasted more than 2 days. It was like those granola bars you get now or energy bars weightlifters pay a fortune for. It was scoffed in no time. She only died 6 years ago aged 105 and she was an amazing woman. Her teas (5pm as she had her main meal at 12) were legendary. Everything right down to the bread and butter were home made.

"Today on BigClive we're going to make authentic Scottish Haggis... You'll need a sheep, blender, the leftover oats from my last video, and a can of WD40."

@johnpotter4750

4 жыл бұрын

Aye Dumfries, up the Vennal from White Sands, my goto for Haggis, but there again, I don't boil it.........

@wroberts1707

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao. You also forgot cooking method. Place jumper cables over the metal clips at each end of the bag and use the unsafe and overpowered usb charger from my last video to gently excite the liquid inside it.

@TheRealWindlePoons

3 жыл бұрын

My favourite haggis dish (purchased in Inverness) was haggis pakora. A delightful combination of haggis and spicy Indian batter. Yummy.

@factorylad5071

3 жыл бұрын

I don't think Clive would like theWD40 vinegrait that much.

@MAGGOT_VOMIT

2 жыл бұрын

AvE screams at his monitor, "Don't forget the Shmoo and Mustard!!"

If you microwave it in a wide flat bowl, it will foam up but not spill, and it will cool down to edible temperature a lot faster.

@macbaar

5 жыл бұрын

I use a IKEA glas bowl for my porridge like meals... 🥓🥓🥓😜🇨🇭

@simonhopkins3867

5 жыл бұрын

Like a pasta bowl 💡 I'll be trying that. Thanks

@mycosys

5 жыл бұрын

My trick is a 'chinese takeaway container' - the rectangle seems to make it boil at the ends and fold in rather than boil over. I add milk &/ Coconut cream after cooking, cools it down.

@xjet

5 жыл бұрын

Absolutely right. I always make mine in a wide-flat bowl and by the time I've finished eating it, it's become quite cool.

@ElectraFlarefire

5 жыл бұрын

The red 'rice cooker' type bowls are also good for that sort of thing, keeps the foaming down.

I just watched a 14:06 video of a man making porridge..... 10/10 would recommend. How the hell does Clive make everything so god damn facianating.

@fargotua13

5 жыл бұрын

good voice does it

@Deveron4

5 жыл бұрын

14:07 is my favorite part.

@ArtoPekkanen

5 жыл бұрын

He explains the details so vibrantly :)

@EthanWinter-

5 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure it's cause he's the best scot around ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

@Solocat1

5 жыл бұрын

It's his Pleasant Manor voice and sense of humor. Should have been a electronics teacher. His brother has the same gift.

The moment you think that this is just going to be an amusing little porridge video, and it turns into a full-on breakdown like everything else in this channel. Love it.

How to make next level porridge in 5 minutes. 1. Toast oats in a dry pot until it starts to smell nutty, add a pinch of salt. 2. Add boiling water just to cover. 3. Stir with a wooden spoon, cook for 3 minutes until nice and stodgy. 4. Spoon into a bowl. Add golden syrup/honey, mix well. 5. Add full fat fresh milk. 6. Eat. 7. Drink a wee dram of the good stuff, go back to bed.

@Asdayasman

4 жыл бұрын

Toast the oats first... I like the cut of your jib. I'll try that out tomorrow.

@corydorastube

4 жыл бұрын

A widnae feed yon to a dog. (Throwing up emiticon needed)

@charleslambert3368

4 жыл бұрын

Toasting the oats? What are you, Swiss?

@4shaw724

3 жыл бұрын

Take hot rice pudding add oats Done!

@justa.american8303

2 жыл бұрын

Great, now I'm hungry!! Have you ever had Black Pudding for Breakfast? I got to try it when in Scotland five years ago, good stuff.

"AvE is a lot bigger than I am" --compares sizes-- "On the internet"

@macbaar

5 жыл бұрын

But AvE has a special accent... 😜🇨🇭

@Lumibear.

5 жыл бұрын

Sub envy

@doublebulbing

5 жыл бұрын

@@macbaar ave also has chickadee and brother bear and the amazing wife laughing in the background and the HAAS cannot forget the HAAS

@SteveHodge

5 жыл бұрын

I haven't seen AvE with an Explosion Containment Pie Dish though.

@norvillerodgersspeaks

5 жыл бұрын

Just cook it on the stove, you heathen.

Its 3pm and I'm about to be late to work because I'm watching a dude make porridge....

@kall399

5 жыл бұрын

Evening shift probably.

@marshmellominiapple

5 жыл бұрын

no its 3 now

@frogz

5 жыл бұрын

its 4 am.....ditto...

@stanervin6108

5 жыл бұрын

@UH OH They don't let you out much, do they?

@stanervin6108

5 жыл бұрын

@@RaphealAmbriousCostau You stay next door to UH OH ?

A Porridge recipe video that actually uses an engineer's metal ruler. Wow. Love it.

@grahamrutherford8800

5 жыл бұрын

My father used his to stir his tea.

@grahamrutherford8800

5 жыл бұрын

@a w Quite so. I missed that.

@Al-Einstein

3 жыл бұрын

I think you will find it's a steel rule, a ruler has extra material at the edge which would interfere with the measure, hence why it's a rule and not a ruler.

*pulls out component bag “Hey laddie, aye, you laddie, you wanna buy some porridge?”

I couldn't find the wiring diagram for this one....

@thomasmcdougall8059

5 жыл бұрын

2 cups of oats to 1 part milk in a cooking pot bring up to a simmer not up to boiling point 1g salt 3g of sugar

@pluto8404

5 жыл бұрын

Remember it is polarized. Add the milk to the oats, not the other way around.

@gregbert2

5 жыл бұрын

No wiring diagram, there is however a flow chart. Right out the other end.

I'll bet when Ralfy makes his, the octane rating is a little higher..

Ya lost me when you added the saccharin. I flipped the table after the damn coffee mate came out.

Leave it to clive to clinically document the maths and logic of his morning porridge

"Fortunately they don't taste like piss" followed by "Let me just check they don't taste like piss" Big Clive, you almost made me squirt my coffee out my nose in laughter, bravo, this is why I LOVE watching your videos man.

Thats all well and good, but a bigclive video without a hand-drawn schematic feels incomplete somehow. We require CliveCAD with each episode. There's gotta be technical symbology for cranberries and oats out there somewhere.

@ReverendFlatus

5 жыл бұрын

Yes, a nice schematic to show currant flow!

@HidekiShinichi

5 жыл бұрын

its not clivecad its just cad clive assisted design

Those porridge packs are great for camping! (just making your own works great too). I'm used to calling this stuff 'oatmeal' here in the States.

@ChuckD59

3 жыл бұрын

Here, here! Paddled and cycled many, many a mile with those instant things as the morning get-up-and-go. DIY (for more civilized applications) would be Bob's Red Mill with a pinch of salt, a tablespoon of butter, a tablespoon of 100% pure Maple Syrup, small clot of raisins and liquid of 1/2 water and 1/2 milk. And into the thermonuclear at level 4 power and 10 minutes. For a truly stout bowl go with Bob's "Golden Spurtle". edit: urk, I just realized I was here 11 months ago and posted nearly the same thing. Well, it's that good, dammit. And it's American. So there.

@BobMuir100

3 жыл бұрын

Oatmeal is porridge!! Thanks I have wondered for years!!

@BobMuir100

3 жыл бұрын

Portrays oats

@daishi5571

2 жыл бұрын

Having left England 22 years ago to live in the US and I still call it porridge.

6:25, "I've put all manner of stuff in the microwave." ROFLMAO! Later he pulls out bag of instant porridge from Quaker. "Let's take it to bits". Best Big Clive video EVER!!!

I sometimes mix some cocoa with it, and add a sliced banana after heating, it delicious. The worst porridge i've had was in the military, Alot of times it was best enjoyed by putting it in a plastic bag, and in a pocket under the jacket. Nothing like a hot bag of "porridge" to warm you up on a cold and dark winter morning in a snowy forest.

Smell on the cranberries is sulphur dioxide, added to the packaging as a preservative.

@98dizzard

5 жыл бұрын

Surely that would smell of eggs, not piss

@FranklinLaserBlog

5 жыл бұрын

SeanBZA 😂No.

@FranklinLaserBlog

5 жыл бұрын

Daniel I 😂No.

@alfonssiggler6652

5 жыл бұрын

SO2 doesnt smell like piss or bad eggs 🤷🏻‍♂️ Edit: ammonia (NH3) smells like piss for example 🤓

@dom1310df

5 жыл бұрын

Does it cause cancer too?

I remember seeing those sweeteners in Norway and thought they were pretty neat! I like them a lot more than the paper packets we have here in the US. I'll have to find a place to buy some.

@vanguard1427

2 жыл бұрын

Norway would use a different type of sweeting agent like xylitol over what we in the UK use

Please make a series “Scottish cooking with clive“

@user-uu1et3fk4c

4 жыл бұрын

flamion please don’t, nippiest accent going

@MotherSoren

4 жыл бұрын

@@user-uu1et3fk4c what

This reminds me of the story Goldilocks and the one bear.

@melkiorwiseman5234

5 жыл бұрын

Then the Great Huge Bear said "Someone's been eating *MY* porridge... and it was delicious!"

@maryannebrown2385

5 жыл бұрын

Yes! I knew that thought had to occur to someone else besides me!

Tried your recipe but it came out as Oatmeal.

@GeekyGarden

5 жыл бұрын

That's because you did it in America. I have the same problem. Personally, I go for cinnamon, sugar, and no milk. I go light on the water too to make it nice and thick.

@krispykush313

5 жыл бұрын

@@GeekyGarden Raisins.

@PghFlip

5 жыл бұрын

instructions unclear, started fire.

@rollomartins6224

5 жыл бұрын

PghFlip Rofl

@Sketteck

5 жыл бұрын

@@GeekyGarden I prefer butter to milk, but to each their own.

My dad was recently recovering from open heart surgery, so I was making his meals for him, including oatmeal/porridge. I had never made it before, so I didn't realize it foamed up in the microwave until the timer went off and I opened the door to find it had gone everywhere... I did it on the stove top after that.

As someone from grits country, I can confirm that grits require some butter--plus some salt and black pepper. Hope you enjoy!

This must be the first in Clive's range of classic Scottish fashion videos - Oat Couture...

A quick tip for faster cooling is to remove 50ml from the initial water you'd add, replace with ice cubes once microwaved and stir till melted.

@MrMiss-cp9bw

5 жыл бұрын

A quick tip for even faster cooling: Remove 50 ml from initial water and add it afterwards, stir until mixed. Who the fuck has ice cubes anyway? 🙄

God’s teeth man, are you sure you’re Scottish?

@MetalheadAndNerd

4 жыл бұрын

You mean a real Scotsman wouldn't add a second sweetener pill?

@stu0things0and0stuff

4 жыл бұрын

i'm only part scotish and this poridge debarkle leaves me thinking of un subbing !!!

@TheRealWindlePoons

3 жыл бұрын

@@stu0things0and0stuff I'm totally English but brought up (in the 1960s) in Glasgow and have a daughter with strong links to Inverness. I find the unconventional (but practical) aspects of this recipe an absolute delight.

@stu0things0and0stuff

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheRealWindlePoons :)

@ebaab9913

3 жыл бұрын

Well my father had a Scottish surname and my mother also, and I have never been even near Scotland, but this sounds more like New Britain oats to me. I only eat raw oats with whole milk a half teaspoon of brown sugar and a splash of Golden syrup. Also add Bran flakes with sultanas because oats, even whole grain oats, have very little flavor. Oats is just far too messy to cook, you may as well be cooking glue in your pot.

As a wee boy growing up in the former shipbuilding town of Greenock, porridge was made with water and a sprinkle of salt. When served up in the bowl I could top it with milk and a sprinkle of sugar. These days it's stirred patiently with my wooden spoon, no spurtle, at a ratio of 2 to 1 oats to milk. Raisins or sultanas plus chopped banana are the regular accoutrements, often supplemented by chopped apple and pear when in season and finished with a drizzle of heather honey. Clive is a heathen, obviously, with the sachcarine and coffeemate. I suspect he sees the sun rise before me in the morning :) , here's a wee link re the porridge drawer- www.scotsman.com/news/a-slice-of-porridge-has-always-been-top-drawer-1-1408827

@weetecguy97

5 жыл бұрын

Yes with the milk

@ThePlayerToBeNamedLater

3 жыл бұрын

From Greenock myself here. As a lad some 35 years ago, porridge in the morn and perhaps some slice. Occasional ice cream from the Orangefield cafe at the West station. Havent been back since 92.

Sliced porridge has been reinvented as a flapjack

@Jamal_Tyrone

5 жыл бұрын

i love flapjacks!

@peglor

5 жыл бұрын

@@andymerrett The good flapjacks use plenty of butter and golden syrup to hold them together.

@jumbo4billion

5 жыл бұрын

@@peglor making flapjacks with black treacle instead of syrup tastes good.

Oats. "A grain that in england is generally given to horses but in scotland supports the people." Dr. Johnson LOL

@simpleminded1uk

5 жыл бұрын

Hence the excellence of their horses and our people.

@rimmersbryggeri

5 жыл бұрын

@Sassy The Sasquatch This was written in the Regency Period. Maybe before.

@capnskiddies

5 жыл бұрын

@Sassy The Sasquatch I don't dislike them, I just can't be fuckin arsed. I'd've three eggs boiled, with some salmon and spinach eaten and washing up done by the time I could scald the face off myself with porridge.

@602Sean

5 жыл бұрын

Maybe us Scots are hung like those sasenact horses too?

@jonc4403

5 жыл бұрын

@Sassy The Sasquatch Americans really don't eat oatmeal (what we call it here) that much. And as a Southerner, I'd almost be more likely to have grits.

To quote my uncle Toby . "That's not how you make porridge"

@Borals

5 жыл бұрын

KatzRool if you’re gonna troll at least be good at it

@KatzRool

5 жыл бұрын

What'd I do wrong then?

@TheRealWindlePoons

3 жыл бұрын

Best porridge I had was at boarding school, huge vat, serves 80.

My mother went to Scotland as a young girl on a steamship to Edinburgh. She said the homes were cold and drafty and everyone wore bathrobes over their regular clothes to keep warm. So porridge might be OK left in a drawer. We may have to wear bathrobes this winter due to our planned "fuel crisis".

@countesscable

Жыл бұрын

I remember back in the late 50’s/60’s ladies wore ‘housecoats indoors over their clothes to keep warm. At night we wore ‘bed jackets’

@mrdovie47

Жыл бұрын

@@countesscable I remember "Smoking Jackets" also.

I make mine with sultanas, cinnamon and sometimes banana. There's no need for sugar when you add fruit, in my opinion. As for the milk, I just pour it on top afterwards because I'm absolutely barbaric.

@bozoc2572

5 жыл бұрын

Pretty much what makes a good porridge.

@jk9554

5 жыл бұрын

genuine scotsman != fruit...

@michaelthibault7930

5 жыл бұрын

Maple syrup. The real deal. That it's _so_ expensive makes the experience so much _hotter_ -- so more memorable.

@raykent3211

5 жыл бұрын

That's what I call a decent recipe!

Saccharin may or may not cause cancer, but it sure tastes disgusting.

@ThePonduz

5 жыл бұрын

Sure does! Stevia is awesome tho!

@joeofloath

5 жыл бұрын

I'm fairly sure that's genetic, like coriander/cilantro. I can't taste artificial sweeteners beyond the obvious sweet flavour.

@warrenmacdonald1372

5 жыл бұрын

My aunt had two of those fizzy saccharine in her coffee every morning, for 40 years and she died of stomach cancer at the age of 67

@retrogamer33

5 жыл бұрын

ReverendFlatus - Well don't eat it directly then!

@gordonlawrence4749

5 жыл бұрын

@@GeneCash same here it's bloody awefull stuff and you just cant get rid of the after taste.

Oats, powdered milk, dried fruit, zip lock bags .... Suddenly I see a survivalist.

@kensmith5694

5 жыл бұрын

It can be a great thing to take camping if the mornings will be cold. For that, folk tend to make it a bit heavier on the additions.

@bobhumplick4213

5 жыл бұрын

or more likely a bachelor. a single man cant keep milk. it spoils too quickly

@kensmith5694

5 жыл бұрын

@@bobhumplick4213 In some caces, they can keep milk in the freezer to make it last. Still powered milk in this case is a good option because it lasts at room temperature.

@ladygardener100

5 жыл бұрын

@@kensmith5694 If you ar camping, it might be inconvenient to lug the microwave around.

@ladygardener100

5 жыл бұрын

@@bobhumplick4213 urban myth, modern milk lasts for seven days in a fridge.

I wanted to write a paper on all the bad things artificial sweeteners cause. I did hear all the rumors after all. I dug through the scholarly database available at the college library and found out of 500 international studies, only one found any "evidence" of negative effects from the sweeteners. Of course the one study was also the one always sited in the rumor mills. My paper ended up being on the negative stereotypes of artificial sweeteners, and my hippy professor gave me a pretty low grade.

@Suzyboo73

2 жыл бұрын

That would be likely because you didn't learn to dig deeper

@xijinpingsfavoritehemorrho1328

2 жыл бұрын

I feel like shit when ive accidentally eaten splenda, ace k, etc. I go back to check cause i feel shite and there it is.

I use oats and milk. Microwave for 3 minutes and cut a banana on top. I like honey and cinnamon too. I don't measure anything though, I like to live life on the edge.

@bluegod1695

5 жыл бұрын

Absolute mad lad

@SPARKY832010

5 жыл бұрын

sounds like my type of brekkie haha

@kennmossman8701

4 жыл бұрын

cut a banana on top........why would you put a banana on top and cut it?

@RomanoPRODUCTION

4 жыл бұрын

Awesome with cinnamon :)

No one is bigger than bigclivedotcom, even a Canadian can't claim that!

@JosephZZ

5 жыл бұрын

Dennis Smith I got his address if you want to give him felatio in person. (pretend this comment is a

@dennis8196

5 жыл бұрын

@@JosephZZ almost lol

I’m so glad I discovered your channel a few weeks ago. Your sense of humor is absolutely fantastic!

Guaranteed my grandpa never had porridge made this way, he was born 1910 in Paisley. He only told us his dad would eat a hot soft boiled egg for breakfast and after he'd leave for work all three kids who watched him eat it would race to eat the cold top of the egg left on the table. That's all they had till dinner.

My ancestry is Scottish (on dad's side anyway) but I inherited a metabolic quirk from mom's side (English/Irish) that causes me to have a blood sugar crash ~2 hours after eating a meal that's all carbs like this one, even complex carbs. Gotta put a bunch of nuts or peanut butter in or I'll be twitching before lunch.

@EliteRock

5 жыл бұрын

I have something similar (going hypoglycemic after my body's finished metabolising carbs), and my Dad was Scottish/Irish. I always add a good chunk of butter to porridge (cook it in or add in the bowl) and that seems to create a similar 'buffering' effect that I guess the nuts do. Also, coincidentally, just the other day someone mentioned peanut butter in porridge (thought it sounded a bit strange TBH), now I'm thinking that AND a chopped banana (as well as the butter)!

Starts adding coffee mate, had to delete my browser history and change my ip address, wtf

@staxter6

5 жыл бұрын

Very good.

@DrOneOneOne

5 жыл бұрын

Yep. Utterly revolting.

@jamesbrown4092

5 жыл бұрын

The former Mrs. Brown once made mac & cheese using coffee whitener because we were out of milk. We ended up giving it to the dog. The dog just looked up at us with a, "Are you mad at me?", expression on her face.

@raykent3211

5 жыл бұрын

The worst part is that it doesn't get battered and deep fried. Inauthentic.

@mazzalnx

5 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad that junk like Coffee Mate or Miracle Whip don't even exist in my country. If you offer to pour anything other than milk in someone's coffee you're either going to get a punch or a slap to your face. Also I don't get the appeal of sugar. I was definitely addicted to it as a kid (EVERYTHING sold to kids is loaded with it, I was trained to add a spoonful of sugar to already-sweetened choc milk), but as the years passed, I just started enjoying coffee black. Lemonade, no sugar. Passion fruit juice, no sugar. These fruits taste awesome and tangy on their own... Contrast is the spice of life.

Those premade packs are so sickly sweet. It's horrific.

@scottjgray83

2 жыл бұрын

Scots oats premades are ok. Theres no sugar just oats if that helps. I know its 2 year ago but hey.

@LKD70

2 жыл бұрын

@@scottjgray83 I have those too, as long as it's the plain ones and not the syrup ones they're good.

@scottjgray83

2 жыл бұрын

@@LKD70 tell me about it. I accidentally picked up the syrup Quaker ones. It was exactly how you put it, horrific.

"...I guess the houses were quite cold..." The Glasgow tenement where I lived in the 1960s would fit that description...

Water Salt and Porridge on a stove and a Spurtle to stir

@KennethPaul

5 жыл бұрын

All the way

@markiangooley

5 жыл бұрын

In Canada you can get a spurtle at Lee Valley Tools, or at least you could for a while.

@blackduck5054

5 жыл бұрын

yep thats the way we do it

@Solocat1

5 жыл бұрын

add some peas...

@Farlig69

5 жыл бұрын

The only way.... this video is a disgrace and should be taken down, by AvE, hacking....

I can recommednd the Achray House Hotel on Lochearnhead (Scotland...). Their breakfast porridge has the option of being served with double cream and/or 18 year old malt. I sometimes have managed three breakfasts, before the fried stuff /newspaper time.

@hairfritz2667

5 жыл бұрын

Most of the Scots I know are already far too pissed by breakfast time to need whisky in their porridge.

Wow, I had a great time watching this man make his porridge. Yep it’s 2am

@My_wife_left_me

5 жыл бұрын

I feel you

@stephenswift9868

2 жыл бұрын

Only 2am?

Thoroughly enjoyed this deviation from the usual BigClive video, really nice to see another food one!

For the people that are in the US. I recommend Bob’s Red Mill Rolled Oats. Very good quality.

@CommodoreFan64

5 жыл бұрын

They are, but can be a bit pricey for some budgets, and have a few kids to feed lol!

@Sashazur

3 жыл бұрын

I second this. And they make a quick version that you can nuke and they’re done in 2 minutes. But they are definitely more spendy than other oats.

Sugar industry is also responsible for the current views on fats, which are not as unhealthy as we've been led to believe.

Hey, Big Clive! Gotta few things to say here, if you ever find yourself reading this. 1) You mentioned being an older fellow in your videos, I ended up Googling your age and honestly. I thought you were at least 10 years younger! You look great for your age, man. 2) LOVE your videos! All of them! But I'd love to see more Scottish food-style videos if that's something you'd ever be interested in doing. 3) I also heard about the porridge drawer, but here in America! Perhaps immigrants bringing that over, but I know it happened here as well! And finally! 4) Not to sound lame, but you coming out of the closet helped give me the courage to do the same. So thank you for that. And thank you for all of your amazing videos!

You're meant to make your porridge with water and salt! Anyone would think you mean to enjoy your porridge. 😂

Anything: *exists* California: *_THIS PRODUCT CAUSES CANCER_*

@adamswenson1093

5 жыл бұрын

California would know. It's a very cancerous state.

@kylelee1911

5 жыл бұрын

I think it's just anything that exists in California causes cancer

@dekjet

5 жыл бұрын

@@andymerrett Theres a website that tracks which products cause or cure cancer according to Daily Mail. kill-or-cure.herokuapp.com/

@LatitudeSky

5 жыл бұрын

Technically, life is fatal. It also causes cancer, heart disease, gout, bad breath and dandruff. We should ban life.

@matthew3p

5 жыл бұрын

Power cord : *exists* California: *CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER!*

So, essentially, porridge in Scotland is simply known as oatmeal in the US. The more you know...

Some people say your voice is annoying but it is amazing and I like just listening to you

After the saccharin, I was expecting Iron Bru to somehow make its way into the recipe

For your grits, sir, I recommend butter with sugar actually instead of just butter. Or some shredded cheese as an alternative. My dad even mixes up a fried egg after the grits are prepared. Just a suggestion. You’ll either love them or hate them

In Denmark we are more effective so we just eat raw oats with cold milk and sugar and/or raisins on top 🙂 no cool down time and takes two minutes to get in the bowl ⏩✅ Clive try it with your raw oats 🙂

@rosen9425

5 жыл бұрын

Scandinavia for the win. haven't had that in 15 years or so, for a reason :D

@kevind6645

5 жыл бұрын

Isn't that called Muesli?

@f123raptor

5 жыл бұрын

sismofytter My mother is Danish. I make my oats every evening with water (I can’t have milk) and let it soften in the fridge overnight. Im 35 and it was just the other day that she found out and gave me a nod of approval and said “That’s how we made it at home when I was a girl“.

@sismofytter

5 жыл бұрын

@@f123raptor cooking it with water and eat it with butter and sugar are fairly common too but it's eaten hot.

@FroggyMosh

4 жыл бұрын

@@kevind6645 I think it is. I generally buy it as Meusli. I eat it raw or nuked into a porridge state. Dutch guy by the way. :D

My daily version is, one cup (no, I am not American) of Scott's Porridge Oats, fill plastic bowl with milk. Then microwave for 3 minutes and add honey, it's at perfect temperature. Done this for years.

My dad used to make a big pot of porridge every morning before he went to work & his 9 hungry children would rise & have a big bowl before walking to school !! 🤗 These days (61 years old now) I use water & milk at 50/50, bring to the boil, scoop in the porridge & turn off the pan immediately . I then leave it for 6 or 7 mins, then , sometimes , add peanut butter... & EAT IT !! The porridge doesnt turn gloopy & so it takes longer to be digested so you don't get an insulin spike . It also makes you feel full & satisfied for the morning until lunchtime.... 😎👍☘️

This sounds like microwaving in milk with extra steps.

@TheScarvig

5 жыл бұрын

my thoughts... i could understand if he was using this recipe for porridge "on the go" where all thats available is boiling or hot water from a thermos or hot water dispenser, but for breakfast i would skip on the creamer and use actual milk.

@3:01 auto-generated subtities: "when i was young woman" lol

@mazzalnx

5 жыл бұрын

... subtitties? Calm down, chief!

Yorkshire lad here, I have 4 X that amount, semi skimmed milk, squeazy honey nutmeg, cinnamon & raisen's or dried Apricots, it fills a bowl to the top, best in MW on half power for longer 4 - 5 mins then it doesn't bubble over, then I'm set up until about 3 or 4 pm, best thing out for starting the day. You can now get Mylar press seal bags just the right size for preparing batches to keep fresh.

Here in the states for oatmeal, at least growing up, we'd just make it with water brown sugar and a bit of butter. That was about it. Never ate it very frequently, but it was always something nice to eat on a rainy morning.

Hmmm .my Scottish family is I think the normal Scott way.Cook in a pan with salt and water ,then pour milk on after boiled . Add brown sugar to taste .Its good because it cools the porridge fast and tastes great. I can't eat it without salt.I miss my mother.

Oddly enough, I'm now craving some oatmeal. I wonder why...

I hate grits so much even tho I'm from America Apparently porridge like you just made is the same as oatmeal here in the states. And I'm so glad I'm not the only one that uses creamer lol. I should start making those little packages for myself

Greetings, Clive, from the Antipodes. My mother-in-law (rest her lovely soul) had Scottish heritage and she would prepare rolled oats - porridge - in the traditional way. Upon serving she would dispense a knob of real butter (I can't believe I can't believe it's not butter), dark brown sugar (more molasses 'coz it's rich in iron, which is good for ladies... tho I'm a bloke), and milk, then grate nutmeg over that. Yummmmmooo!

I though a real Scotsman porridge had whiskey in it

@alastair852

5 жыл бұрын

spike001ton absolutely not! It has whisky in it.

@girlsdrinkfeck

5 жыл бұрын

scotch actually

@Solocat1

5 жыл бұрын

His brothers recipe has Single malt in it :-)

@Nilguiri

5 жыл бұрын

whisky *

@mazzalnx

5 жыл бұрын

Isn't that an Ireland thing...?

Clive, can you make this a series, and go through the day? Bacon rolls next?

@macbaar

5 жыл бұрын

No, a bacon porridge please... 🥓🥓🥓🥓😜🇨🇭

@markmillett6540

5 жыл бұрын

He has done a few other things in the past, such as a quick microwave cake.

@lawdelpus

5 жыл бұрын

Or how to hunt and kill a haggis

@crazygeorgelincoln

5 жыл бұрын

Microwaving bacon can melt microwave safe Tupperware.

Blasphemous American here with a tip - I do “oatmeal” which I think is quite similar but with a 1:1 ratio of oats to water, and I cool it by stirring in frozen blueberries after microwaving the oatmeal. This cools down the oatmeal fairly quickly while also thawing the blueberries.

My porridge story - Granddad was a radio operator on Liberty Ships, mostly Noth Atlantic runs, yes he survived but was in convoys that were attacked by wolf packs. Anyway, he told the story of how, as an Englishman, he managed to convert all the Scots on board into replacing salt with sugar in their porridge. Now, I'm pretty sure there wasn't much sugar around ... so I'll take that story with erm ... a pinch of salt.

the teardown had a reasonable level of detail however i did expect a schematic .... bigclivecookingchannel next ?

KZread: Here watch this video. Me: Fine...now I want oatmeal...

"Local bear revolutionizes the entire pre-made porridge business."

So... Imagine this, I've just watched a few videos from several of my favourite content providers and I come across one called "How a genuine Scotsman make his porridge". Instant thought "Clive" - Now I knew it was done by you Clive before I even read the name credit. Well done sir, food of the Gods!

Coffee mate clive. absolute genius thats been staring me in the face for YEARS

@grahamrutherford8800

5 жыл бұрын

Made with water only. Top of the milk added before serving. Alas homogenisation killed that!

@zimbag

4 жыл бұрын

Coffee mate has a lot of fat....mainly palm oil. Not the healthy option.

@TWS001

3 жыл бұрын

@@zimbag whats the alternative?

Water, rolled oats and salt - that's all. (well, lingonberryjam (cowberries for some) + milk aswell)

@mattiaskestiostergren190

5 жыл бұрын

Found the Swede 😜

How did I never actually know where AvE comes from. Thanks Clive!!!

And I thought that Scots lived entirely on deep fried Mars bars. Breakfast stored pre made in ziplock bags is a sure sign of a terminal pedantic.

I like my porridge sweetened with golden syrup I always add cold milk when it's in the bowl to cool it down

Milk with a gob of butter afterwards, along with some brown sugar and cinnamon, lots of cinnamon. Cooking with Clive never disappoints

That's True !!! Porridge was kept in a Drawer. It would Dry out and become like a Biscuit. My Aunt tried to make Porridge in her Droors, but she ended up going to Hospital to have them Removed !!!

This whole video was an excuse for possessing seally bags and gram scales....great alibi dude..

Nairn's Oatcakes are fab. Plus you can get them in savoury & sweet. But the plain ones, with a bit of butter, are the best!

@mcomiskey7

5 жыл бұрын

Great with cheese too.

@sheendex

5 жыл бұрын

There's a choc chip version that's gorgeous

I’ve never tried Porridge. But your recipe sounds quite nice. So next time at the shops I’ll have Porridge on my list.

@justusk18s

Жыл бұрын

Quick Follow up: I have tried the recipe and it’s outstanding. I have made it my daily routine to make it in the evening and take it with me to school the next morning. Thank You!

My darling husband loves porridge (and his surname is Wallis but he won’t wear a kilt) it’s such a nice food, quick, easy, healthy and tasty. I make it with hot milk then we add the extras when it’s in the bowl. Extras can include, maple syrup, cream, berries, banana, golden syrup, mango. I will try it this way next time.

You left out the most important question: rolled or steel cut oats? In answer to your grits question: yes, usually savory. Butter is required, cheese is a common addition, but I've seen jelly or preserves added. That assume you're eating once-cooked grits. There's also fried mush, where the grits are allowed to cool into a solid mass and sliced about 1/2" thick. The slices are then fried in butter and served with maple syrup or honey.

@markfisher7962

5 жыл бұрын

He answered this @ :55. It's milled oats.

@neilf1059

Жыл бұрын

@@markfisher7962 Yes, what I would call rolled oats. I don't think I have ever seen 'steel cut' oats here in Sydney, or Brisbane

Proud lowlander here from Ayr. Holy Carp! seriously.... your say u are a Genuine Scotsman???? Never in my 41 almost 42 years have I ever seen anything as monstrous as this concoction. Please move to England immediately... for your own safety! I can forgive the use of a microwave we all have busy lives. But! sweeteners and coffee mate WTF?

@SpeccyMan

5 жыл бұрын

I'm an Englishman of 15 more years on you (meaning more experienced porridge-eater lol) and even I found the sweetener and coffee mate idea completely yuck.

@isladurrant2015

5 жыл бұрын

I agree, but it was fun anyway.

@raykent3211

5 жыл бұрын

He was expelled from Scotland years ago, possibly for this reason. He fled to the Isle of Man.

@gmo4250

5 жыл бұрын

I’m English. I would not even dream of making porridge with sweeteners and coffee mate. Look at the ingredients on coffee mate, what is in that stuff? It sounds like a chemical factory leak. I just use oats, water and a pinch of salt.

@weetecguy97

5 жыл бұрын

Aye he fucked it lads

In Freedom land, it is 'oatmeal'. I get a bowl of oats, put in a bit of hot water (not enough to turn it into a soup), and stir until it has effectively absorbed all of the water and has become a mushy mess. I then add milk until it has become a properly thickened porridge whilst microwaving/stirring as necessary. I then add raisins, dates, and honey as sweetener to taste.

I had no idea how this was going to run, but pretty interesting after all. Thanks Clive!

I prefer my oats to have been fermented and sat in an oak barrel for a few years before eating them 😁