I'm 20 years old and was suicidal for a year because of a relationship with a narcissist. I am blessed to have awoken at such a young age, could've gotten a lot worse for me.

@ilovemexoxo5720

6 жыл бұрын

yes it EXTREMELY SCARY at first

@annettelynch4088

5 жыл бұрын

I'm reading this and see you posted a year ago, I hope you're doing even better and are even stronger against this abuse and our response to it. I was suicidal for a few years after a botched surgery sent me spiraling down in despair from horrible physical and mental anguish. I've slowly awakened myself and Richard Grannon saved my life taking his courses and coaching. Anyways, you're so young and I think of my children going through CPTSD and my heart breaks that you've had to experience such abuse. I'm glad you found help and just wanted to comment how amazing you must be to recognize that you needed help at such a young age. I hope you always remember to take care of yourself and that your journey has brought you more inner peace and confidence.

@annettelynch4088

5 жыл бұрын

I am Noah please get help. Seek counseling and professional help if you have access. I was where you are just 8/9 weeks ago and have completely done a turn around. I'm much more grounded, focused, less anxiety, much less flashbacking. I couldn't afford therapy so did The First Aid Kit Course by Richard Grannon and Leyla Loric, on Spartanlifecoach.com. It was quite affordable and provided immediately relief from the CPTSD and the feeling you want to die. You don't want to die. You want to feel emotionally regulated and grounded. You can feel well again and you are never alone. I send you healing thoughts.

@jo_oi1364

5 жыл бұрын

The girl I dated knew about psychology and imo used it against me. Terrifying if true.

@keiheaherakiwi1611

5 жыл бұрын

Noah Craddock I hope you read this Noah ..... blessings and love sent your way.... this has helped me so much take care of you

the problem with cptsd, a flashback does not look like "another thing" ... it looks like "the whole life" .. no particular other thing... just the total sum of an invisible abuse.

@majakolonja4023

5 жыл бұрын

yup

@Leftatalbuquerque

5 жыл бұрын

@julesdownunder Well, first you stop the world...

@BarbaraMerryGeng

5 жыл бұрын

sSunbeamM / yes, I can relate

@francisgallant1479

5 жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ...

@katiegray4720

5 жыл бұрын

Uuuuhhhhggggg. Yes.

For all the women out there with CPTSD/PTSD (and their partners) - take extra care of yourself during your periods. Rest more. Be way more gentle with yourself. Nutrition and all elements of self-care and self-compassion are more important than ever. Even when we're good at managing our symptoms, emotional flashbacks and other icky stuff related to CPTSD amps up during that time. We may not have a full on emotional flashback, but we'll feel like shit and be under the impression we're back in the sewer of doom. The inner critic talks louder or makes a comeback. Another thing to consider when we are triggered. Being hormonal makes a difference. Something +spartanlifecoach may not want to venture into this, but it's important to point out.

@AfridiZindabad

8 жыл бұрын

+Sonia Mallet Thank you're absolutely right. It's true our food is less nutritionally potent than before (due to our diet, soil's mineral depletion etc) and going the extra mile nutritionally really pays off during those days esp.

@poolcleanning

7 жыл бұрын

what does it matter if you are a man or a woman?

@gymnast2890

7 жыл бұрын

C'est La Vie Because hormonal changes, in a man or woman, will totally fuck you up. It just so happens women have major hormonal fluctuations once a mo, which she's addressing. Lucky me, I have this fluctation every 6-10 mo & don't see it coming, undernourished, underweight, & sick, I will be throwing things, crying, cussing, & wishing (out loud) that my mom will die a slow painful death due to some recent harm she's caused.....then, it's....oh, it's that time of the mo (or year for me) causing me to go bonkers when I'm quite used to my mom harming me. *I'm angry that I'm sick, weak, & dying & she makes it worse when I have my son C-PTSD, my 7 yr old Granddaughter C-PTSD & PTSD to try to help, the latter HUGELY depends on me, & my mom makes everything worse for everyone all the time, true blanket statement there! Then the suicidal depression that follows. My X husband, has had to take predinsone (messes with your hormones) several times, when he stopped abrubtly, rather than tapering, he was INSANE. He recently took it again & refused to listen to me on how badly it affected him previously, he got sick (he has MS) & said it was horrible, etc. He's currently in the hospital. Bottom line: hormones will take any emotionally disturbed person to a whole new level with fluctuations, whether male or female, normal or medically induced. Get more sleep, pay attention to diet, etc are good guidelines, nutricional deficiancies make things much worse, as it does if you are already in poor health. This obviously affects women (& men on steriods,etc) more, because most have these hormonal fluctuations for up to a week out of every month, naturally.

@Shnouk13

7 жыл бұрын

I tried answering you a few weeks ago, but the reply wouldn't post. As others mentioned, the comment was about the hormonal shifts during the (usually monthly) menstrual cycles that affect women. You are correct in the sense I didn't mention pre-op transgendered men in addition to cis women.

@jorgepeterbarton

7 жыл бұрын

there's actually some evidence of the male period, i definitely get some monthly cycle, i mean why wouldn't hormones fluctuate even if there's no clear physical sign...but more a seasonal thing about meltdowns things move in cycles....that's not to take away the obviuos that women do have something more to deal with each month

"fun times, cure-easily ptsd" - hahahahahahahahahaha! ..Your comedic abilities are a great asset in helping people heal and take back their power. There are so many of us who are galloping along this path you've pointed out to us, like leprechauns to a freaking pot of gold - that gold being our healed and whole selves waiting at the end of this journey you've had the courage and decency to invite us on. ..... the world is a better place with you in it SpartanLifeCoach. It makes me cry to think how many come here and are helped. and I cry tears of relief for myself too.

@micheledobb589

6 жыл бұрын

gee. ess. Beautiful

It’s tough to turn around & look at my injuries, because I went through life saying, “ it’s ok., “ I never learned how to be concerned about myself. My focus was always high jacked by other people who had more important issues than mine. ~ I’m only recently addressing the idea that I have needs, too. And that, I am the one who is responsible for addressing & providing for those needs. It’s a bleak realization.. but it ‘s necessary to get on the road to ME .. 🌹👑⛩

@habanero6332

4 жыл бұрын

Profound and I totally relate.

@sharyn9922

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I relate with you so very much!

I love you so much Richie, it cannot be overstated how much you've helped me to understand what the fuck is wrong with me and how it works and how to deal with it. Thank you.

@SueNoel

8 жыл бұрын

+Adam Power - You just said EVERYTHING I haven't been able to say myself. Thank YOU so much for that!! I wish I could reach through my computer screen and give you a great big fucking hug!

@Spudcore

8 жыл бұрын

Aye. Nae bother!

@RICHARDGRANNON

8 жыл бұрын

+Adam Power Thanks man

@conniethecactus5148

5 жыл бұрын

Likewise. xxx

@patsyballantyne9886

5 жыл бұрын

Aye, me too :)

I think I am , at this time in my life, understanding that trying to explain this to family etc. is pointless. Narcissists and covets, don't get it, don't care and my journey to heal is My thing. My recovery will come by relearning and reprogramming my brain. In the past I put so much energy trying to explain, thinking they would stop. In reality I taught them exactly How to get their fix.

@habanero6332

4 жыл бұрын

C P Exactly they do not care. It is futile. I just stopped putting my energy into that but when it is your husband and you have to make your home as stable as poss for the children you find yourself having to do that. Everything islike groundhog day. They act like they are hearing you and you are both solving a problem but the next day it is as if the conversation never happened and you have to start over again. Endless.

@eilzmo

3 жыл бұрын

Wow this is so well put. I relate to this, it’s like you‘ve lived my experience haha. They really don’t care. So it’s time for me to start caring for myself :)

This is an excellent explanation. I'd like to add that there is a very risky point in the development of a cptsd sufferer, and usually it comes directly before realizing you have a problem and need help. Early adulthood is a risky time. Bunch of 20 year olds partying and being reckless and the one that progresses from beer on Friday at the pub to daily beer for breakfast to heroin just might be the trauma he's never fully accepted. Here you just hope that they will survive long enough to realize what is going on. We've all seen it of course. The group of friends just having a good time and the one sensitive soul who has no off button. Often times the most gifted musician, comedian, writer, or visual artist in the group that ends up gone at 27 and everyone forever more just talks about the drugs but the problem that killed them was there often decades before they touched a drug.

@simonestreeter1518

5 жыл бұрын

Alice Miller has written whole books on this phenomenon of artists. One is called 'The Body Never Lies.' She doesn't pull any punches about shitty parenting.

Thanks man. The revelation that these weird episodes are flashbacks to something else solves a lifelong mystery for me; and really helps to be able to identify that as 'not me'.

A dentist once explained to me that some people can mentally overpower the numbing agents!

Everytime I watch a new (to me) video I think "wow, this is my new favorite"... until I see a new one. Thank you for putting yourself out there. You have definitely helped me! Mental health in the United States isn't how you explain it, and how you break topics down is exponentially more helpful.

This made more sense than anything I have heard. BPD,CPTSD, PTSD. I don't feel much hope any more.

Aha! So this is why relationships are such nightmares for me....fascinating....

@glendaschilder3048

3 жыл бұрын

Mine are too, so this is why I am not ready to start dating again, one thing, I keep finding crappy partners, so I'm not out of the woods yet

Yes. It feels good to hear someone say it, the doom is understood. People who are victims of multiple crimes throughout their lives have this too. Not one or two crimes. Many crimes, and much abuse combined.

this was very helpful. such a relief to have found your channel, and hear someone say the things I can't find the words for, explanations for the things I recognized but could not understand. And to know these responses are 'normal', or at least predictable ways people respond to these things. Thank you so much for making these. so helpful, and really pivotal for me.

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT - diagnosed with PTSD and just didn't get it - I didn't have those types of symptoms -I am not a veteran - did not experience a single traumatic event - but the whole concept of emotional flashbacks has reframed my understanding and empowered me - I never called it a meltdown - I used to call it PTSDing - I didn't understand why - but now I do!! It's a big deal!!

I am now so traumatized from safe isolation/ severe pain condition/loneliness. I am having a flashback because I am being triggered that I will be trapped alone forever.

@ericarice4588

4 жыл бұрын

Avalon I’m sorry. How are you today?

@chilloften

4 жыл бұрын

Perhaps get out, into nature, watch the birds and squirrels. We are not alone. But yes, I can relate. I tend to get out every now & then to socialize and try & meet new folk. But honestly, so many are disordered and toxic and asleep. It’s depressing.

I cry on films when I see true love that I missed on in 3 narcissistic relationships in the row, 10 years each.. I cry when I see affectionate mother or father that I never had, I feel like an orphan and ask myself why did this happen to me? I cry when I see abused child, when I was 12 i told my mother that I was abused by member of her family, she said How could I do this to her....That's fucking painful to this day and I'm 67...

@HFTLH

4 жыл бұрын

Yolanda Miernik I'm really sorry you had to go through that. And I can relate to the sadness. Now that I'm finally being forced to come to terms with the fact that a healthy relationship with my parents is probably impossible, seeing any representation of healthy and loving interactions between parents and children makes me long for what I never had and never will have. I'm divorced from a narc and I've only dated briefly twice in the past 5 years. Although I handle loneliness better than I used to, it's still hard.

@845722144

4 жыл бұрын

@@HFTLH Hi , Thank you, I don't mind to be alone, I have lots of hobbies and tons to do, but sadness of not able to have healthy relationships and that part of life wasted is very sad in deed.

@kimnewis6882

4 жыл бұрын

@@845722144 hi yolamder, l to feel cheated and see families who love each other, husbands who care , partners too. And especially ones children. Instead we are made to feel we are lacking, how can that be when u know you gave all the emotional strength u had , and left yourself without any, yet they abandoned you..

@845722144

4 жыл бұрын

@@kimnewis6882 I wrote that 8 months ago, since then I learned to love myself more and do not let anyone to hurt me, I have great plans to move and pursue my interests and hobbies, helping who needs help..I feel much better now, and I hope you get better soon, Search for Nasara, Ganara.. justice is coming, God Bless

@Neptunianist

3 жыл бұрын

Really angry to hear what you went though but the things that made me the most angry was your mother not believing you, supporting you and, most importantly, not taking your side. I was never physically abused but had enormous amounts of emotional abuse and the removal of any support or of anyone being "on my side" was a purposeful and intended part of that. I wish I had stabbed or killed them then, my life would never had the pain, powerlessness, shame and guilt that followed and remains. All it was for them was being able to overpower me. I appreciate the healing wish of therapy but sometimes maybe revenge is also therapeutic.

It makes no difference if you have drowned in 30ft of water, or 60 ft of water. Is that right?

Max seems to be a wonderful companion and a fellow that helps you out of emotional crap. I enjoy your talks and can totally relate. I discovered all this in March and it has been as a boulder was lifted off my back. I now know how to better deal with things. Unfortunately, I cannot have "no contact" with my problems. I am financially indebted to my mother and the older of my 2 brothers lives with her. She is 88..We are in our 50's. My brother that lives with her is not the brightest crayon in the box and doesn't grasp what is happening. He is like her little henchman. The moat around her castle is full of the sea of negativity and spite...Whenever I must deal with them, I have mini depressive break downs. I know what is happening now, but getting through things isn't any easier. I do remind myself that it isn't me/my fault. and that helps me through it. The other brother? well, he was lucky and lives far away. got a kick out of your American accents. love you.

@patriciam.w.2333

6 жыл бұрын

Parmesana. Oh dear you spoke so profoundly to me when you described your situation and the "moat" around your mother's "castle." My NPD mom about destroyed me before I wised up and went no contact two yrs. ago. Im 63 she is 87.

Richard you are AWESOME! So awake, I have learned so much from you!

I understand that having cptsd means that I need to have better care for myself (eating, sleeping, exercising etc) than most people, but I feel because of my cptsd its so much harder to do those things. Tips?

@hybridvigour5982

4 жыл бұрын

Fortress mental health- Healing Intent video

'People are not safe, the world is not safe, and I'm not safe': this sums up everything for me Richard. I've lived through violent childhood abuse, teenage emotional abuse, exposure to graphic scenes of murder at 18 then PTSD through serving in the British Army. Still trying my best to heal.

My gratitude to you Richard Grannon! I wrote a poem for everyone on the healing path. (Obviously inspired by your art) Humans are like lollipops, we come in many flavors Without a proper wrapper, we get all stuck together Flavors get confused, whose belongs to who So hard it is to separate, the longer that we wait But yes it can be done, you are your special one Savor your flavor, be accountable to you It’s no one else’s job, to yourself be true!

I never knew I was experiencing "flashbacks" until recently. I have layers of varied abuse and loss. Somedays I'm tired. I have good days. I got Pete Walker's book. Thanks.

@chilloften

4 жыл бұрын

What is the book? Maybe I missed it.

@makaylahollywood3677

4 жыл бұрын

@@chilloften " "Complex PTSD, From surviving to thriving", and "The Tao a of Fully Feeling". Very dense, read as much as you can handle at a time. You may need to skip and move around the book, but very useful. Things always get better;-)

Your advice is incredibly useful Richie, and I learnt such a lot here. I've been gradually healing my C-PTSD for several years now and I look back in horror at my behaviour as it worsened back along, as I became very selfish and narcissistic for many years. Your explanation of PTSD looking like BPD makes perfect sense as to what happened, especially as I now feel more rounded as a human being since mostly recovering. Interestingly, I recently had a horrible bout of depression, which I haven't had for a long time. On analysing it, I realised that because I was looking after my ill cat (who died yesterday) I had been creeping around my flat so as not to disturb her. That, in turn, brought out all the feelings of the times when I had such high anxiety (during long periods of time when I was abused by 'official' bullies) and I hid in my home, creeping around so as not to be heard and terrified of anyone ringing my doorbell. It's great to hear the explanation of why these flashbacks occur, as knowing why helps us to be able to do something about it. Just another quick point - I can attest to the efficacy of being careful what you read, watch, and the places/people you get involved with. I decided a few years ago that life's too short to take in more horror and fear, and I started listening, watching and reading only those things that was uplifting and made me feel good. It might sound a bit drastic, but there were several reasons why I didn't need a TV anymore, so I got rid of that, stopped reading newspapers and only watched and read what I needed and wanted to know from my pc. It worked amazingly for me; I had more time and motivation to do the things I really wanted to do and pursue my goals, and the fearmongering and feelings of hopelessness from daily news no longer affected me. It might sound like 'head-in-the-sand' stuff, but it was essential for my condition and helped hugely in my recovery because I could then do something pro-active about it. Now, I do a lot of online activism, which has become a way of being able to make a difference instead of feeling paralysed as I was before. :)

Wow, three year old video. Having only just discovered you, about a year ago, I'm just respecting that you've been at this a good long while. This one is so helpful, validating and supportive. I'm glad KZread queued this one up. Thank-you for the kindness and clarity.

This actually really helps explain a lot of shit that has been in my head and going on in my head. Years of therapy never said shit like this. KZread can take my comment down but thank you. You've been a big help.

you are RIGHT ON. Thank you. you are so right, we can't do what others do. we need rest, we need nurturing, and to place ourselves where we can move forward. so Helpful.

EMOTIONAL FLASHBACKS Yes, this term helps me STAY AWARE every time I fall into the emotional flashback pit, and then climb my way out. Thank you

I feel that a large part of triggered returning emotional flashbacks is that as a child I did not know how to process or feel the correct feelings compatible to the various abuses I suffered therefore I learned to feel nothing as a child , kind of a numbness , a defence mechanism I learned to stop the hurting as a child , I learned to turn the feelings off as a child and carry on , in defiance of the abuser. Now as an adult when a memory of abuse and the correct feelings are triggered , it is so intense inside me , sometimes out of control to the point I am consumed by grief , sadness or anger to the extreme. I also feel that these extreme feelings that keep resurfacing when triggered by memories of abuse can never completely be healed because the predator/s who abused me as a child now years later deny the abuse happened or will not let me share what happened convenient for the abusers who were drunk or fucked off their faces who have no recollection and immediately accuses me of being a lier for some twisted agenda inside them. If the people who abused me would just at the very lest would acknowledge the truth , I would be able to better heal , and perhaps not have server emotional flashbacks , though because I am rejected justice the memories are like open wounds on my heart and mind , I do not think the pain ever subsides completely until the abuser can be truly sorry , and for some the sorry may never come , I do not think I will get the sorry I deserve from the abuser. Belinda Leoni

@annettelynch4088

5 жыл бұрын

belinda leoni me too. I've been ghosted by my entire family of origin.....how dare I live my own truth. Just live your own truth, be completely honest with yourself and know you don't need them to acknowledge anything. I always thought I would be a horrible person to walk away when i was really just needing to walk away.

@sliewood

5 жыл бұрын

My abuser is gone now so an apology nor an explanation will ever come. I understand what you are saying, but that apology wouldn't make anything better. Learning to live with who you are NOW tho, will serve you well. I've left my abuse in my past and tho it repeats on me on a daily and nightly basis, I know it can't get me anymore. I live around it and tho I never truly feel safe or trust anyone, it's infinitely preferable to regretting a showdown. Live in peace ☮️

Excellent and very helpful video. Served in the Marine corps and PTSD was something I struggled with after I came home from Iraq too. I was often afraid to even get out of bed and would just curl up in my bed and cry. It was so horrible. My therapist helped me greatly in dealing with it over the course of time and I have had no flashbacks in over a year. Don't be afraid to take medication if it's necessary and don't be afraid to talk about it. It was particularly bad for me at the time because I

@A_T__

4 жыл бұрын

Diva Talk Radio how interesting, I was at the other end of that. An Iraqi living through invasion and watching everything the US did. It fucked me up real good. I couldn’t sleep night terrors and I expected bombs everywhere all the time. Men and women in uniform scare the shit out of me to this day. Glad you’ve made it out of your hell. Heres hoping I will one day too.

I've been wracking my brain for months now trying to figure out where my CPTSD comes from (after hearing so many times from multiple sources it comes from childhood, not in my case, I don't *think,* although, I was already highly codependent, which I only just realized, after reading through all my old journals from the last 2 decades). Now, after watching this, I'm fairly certain it (cptsd) actually came from my last relationship, from the one who accused *me* of being NPD. After 10 years of being in a relationship with him, I actually developed some of his borderline/covert NPD traits. And now, after watching this, I know *exactly* the moment when it began. EXACTLY, and I now *think* I understand how he managed to trigger me over and over and over. (and he tried again recently by contacting me through email - I wrote him back and set down some boundaries under which I was willing to dialogue with him, and he accused me of gaslighting him. At first, I started spinning out of control, until I recognized what was actually happening. I wrote him back, NOPE, I was setting boundaries, which are a part of *healthy communication,* but what he was doing to me actually WAS gaslighting.) I don't even want to be around other people now, because I don't want to subject them to my fuckedupiness. I no longer trust other people, and I *certainly* don't trust myself or my own thoughts/decisions. And what's really upsetting about the whole thing, is going back through old communications with people, I had at least THREE different people tell me they thought he was NPD. One was an abuse counsellor, one was a lawyer who dealt with family/child abuse issues, and one was a friend who just knows a lot about psychology. Did I listen? noooooooo...

@gee.ess.1112

8 жыл бұрын

+jazzy cat it's unlikely you ended up with a narc because your childhood was peachy. The roots of cptsd are very, very likely to originate in your childhood. the roots of any tendency to allow a narc in are also there.

@kellypawspa

7 жыл бұрын

jazzy cat one of the halmarks. Of codependency is the brave way no matter how bad things were or are, they are always ok. Or at least we think so. But we arent. That is the hardest part of codependancy is to re-learn how to give yourself permission to not be ok. For your emotions to matter or exist at all because as a child we were conditioned over and over again that it was not ok for us to have emotional needs. Our emotions did not matter. We did not matter. We only got a break sometimes when we didnt require anything and were not given permission to feel.... The denial of feelings runs real deep and just because they havent consciously been delt with... Does not make them exist less. I can't say this is what is happening with you or not.... Im not a professional and dont know youre whole story.... But it might be real hard for you to see the trauma on your own or too much to deal with alone without a therapist. They could help You identify the causes amd help you to remeber what it is that needs to be healed and how to deal with it. You do deserve a life you dont have to feel like less than others every day... You do matter and its possible for you to be happier then you ever have felt. It just takes time and someone to help that understands and id genuinely equiped to best guide and advise you.. Hope it happens sooner then later for you. Take care! X

@lilakilonen5663

6 жыл бұрын

jazzy cat ..i think that you did listen. sometimes normally, it can take a while for us to wrap our heads around it.

@jolantaka9154

5 жыл бұрын

Horible experience

@22:28 aha! This explains my reaction in seeing a new Dr who shamed my state and said "I just needed to get outside more." Totally caught off-guard; he'd been a referral.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for doing these videos Richard! I can't thank you enough. This is not only a place of empathy where survivors can feel understood, but you also give so many tools and put words to unspoken experiences! And thank you for the many other resources you give as well.

Richard, you do incredible work. Your videos have really helped me understand the more complex emotional experiences I've had personally. Seriously, please never stop making videos.

Thank you a million times over for all of your videos and links. You have educated and helped me in so many ways. I often fall asleep at night re-watching your videos, as they give me a sense of calm and peace.

I have a seminar in London, you should totally come www.spartanlifecoach.com/london-seminar Pete Walker's excellent book www.pete-walker.com/complex_ptsd_book.html Abandonment Depression www.pete-walker.com/managingAbandonDepression.htm

@LuvvyDuck

8 жыл бұрын

+SPARTANLIFECOACH Thanks for including that link. Very eye-opening, just like your videos. :D And I loved your dog coming in like that, lol!

@BorderlineBuddha

8 жыл бұрын

+SPARTANLIFECOACH can cptsd make it very difficult to focus, and cause constant restlessness?

@RICHARDGRANNON

8 жыл бұрын

yes

@BorderlineBuddha

8 жыл бұрын

SPARTANLIFECOACH ok thanks, sorry for asking this under your seminar post, london is too far, otherise i would go! your vids are so helpul, when are you going live next?

@iannglasgowtimm819

8 жыл бұрын

+Stella Skyy in ducked up

Thank for the information. My mom, who now 88, had tuberculosis as a child and went to sanatoium for 4 years during 2. wold war. This was the time before penicilin, so the only treatment was to stick metal tubes in to her chest a blow air in to her lungs to keep them from collapse. Moreover most of the other patients around her died like flies. My father divoced her when I was 10 years old. Thanks again. Best regards Henrik. I'm alcoholic who have recently stopped drinking.

Vulnerability is huge. Once abused severely you make a pact with yourself to never let anyone close enough to hurt you again. It leads to self isolation which is not always a bad thing because it gives you time to work on yourself before getting involved with someone that might push your buttons. People don’t understand C-PTSD unless you have been to war. Being kidnapped 8 times by waring parents using you as a pawn doesn’t warrant a trauma response in many peoples minds. Untreated C-PTSD sets you up for choosing subconsciously abusive partners. It becomes what is familiar. The abandonment issues set down in childhood led to choosing a NPD for a spouse. Treatment is scarce also. Many physicians don’t know what to do for you except put you on meds that don’t work. Your videos have helped me more than decades of therapy. Thank you.

You make more sense than anyone I've met thus far in my journey to heal from CPTSD. Thank you!! I grew up in a war zone in Ireland and in my home and then went on to nursing and narcissistic men. Emotional and physical abusers. I've had endless counselling but you are the best. Love the dog. Ha ha ha ha ha. Keep up the awesome work Richard. Your planet needs you :-)

well said my friend its amazing how a five minute explanation can just flow like that !!! you are a talented man cheers !!!

I woke up this morning ready to cry full of panic this happens daily. I am divorcing a man who has been diagnosed with Antisocial personality disorder and the not knowing what he will do next and the fear of the constand rug being pulled out from under my feet and no support from the legal field has me feeling so alone and paralyzed to move forward. Isolation has been my life for two years. People do not understand when I say I do not have family or friends to help me with any thing. I am a lone wolf. Working through this on my own. Thank you for this video it has helped me to just ground myself in knowing that my actions and reality is real and what you say helps me to have more check on my reality.

That was SO SO SOO helpful. I had an emotional flash back last night. It is exhausting on every level. I called my mother and she helped speak truth in love. I also had a conversation with my significant other, and he was so great and kind and gave me a really good perspective on what i was having anxiety over. Listening to this was like the icing on the cake. It brought clarity from an outside source that directly spoke to my lived experience. So helpful!!

Invaluable. Deep gratitude Richard Grannon thank you

Pete thank you so much for taking the time to record and post this the problem with the psychology psychiatric approach up until now I think is that when the only tool you have is a hammer you tend to see every problem as a nail much kudos to you my friend I would like to get to one of your seminars some time I will check out your books / web site cheers my friend !

Been looking for this video for 25 YEARS!....Thank you Richard!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your videos have been helpful in saving my life from emotional nervous breakdown.

You are helping me survive even know if I get tiggered.

Richard, this helped me so much tonight!! I AM getting quicker at seeing it fast! What a blessing to have this tool!

This was really good Richard. Helps explain more why my nervous system is so screwed up. I intend to heal my life. In grateful appreciation for all you do & are. Blessings, Liliane

I am 67 & still having meltdowns. I have been everywhere for help since I was 19. The therapist I have said he knows how to treat cptsd. He knows I have been terrorized by Police (no crimes involved ) well today a lady from church invited me to lunch. I called to cancel my appt for the first time and he had 3 cop cars come to my house with guns drawn for a welfare check!!! Talk about a meltdown! All he needed to do was call me. It traumatized me so much I started having chest pain. The idiot!! Thanks Richard for your teachings.

I needed this video today, terrible flashback. Self induced unfortunately, I broke and sought out information about my narc. Please know that your courses, videos, podcasts, website & advice are so very valuable and appreciated. These videos and your genuine humor/ personality have gotten me through a rough day or two. As well as your sweet boy next to you in the couch. Thanks again!

I really thought for the longest time that I was one of the few suffering with cptsd. I really like your videos . When I have an emotional flashback and can verbally express it as such . The response I get from a loved one is a sigh and they walk away. Sometimes I’m like “ hey , I just verbalized this instead of running away or closing myself off “ . Sometimes I think why bother, it doesn’t matter.

We couldnt run when we were trapped..now we can..i used to make friends with these situations. Try fix etc. .now i dont at all...i absoluty love the life I have chosen

Your humor is every bit of helpful as your message.. I've been married for 52 yrs to a man who helps me tremendously with humor.

I am so grateful for your videos. I am learning so much about myself. Thank you. ❤️

The early videos are great, Richard has great energy in these.

your videos are intense and eye opening. I am so happy I found you.

@18.00 he totally clocked me. I'm on a huge cocktail of sedatives daily and still have panic attacks, hysteria, helplessness, 'meltdowns' I'm mega hyperviglant and can't turn off the adrenaline constantly surging!

Oh wow !!! When you mentioned the “door”. My reaction to certain ringtones and certain notifications , hits so fast literally like a surprise attack. I’m always on high alert to protect myself.

@nomore5173

4 жыл бұрын

Ditto :(

I haven't been here in a while but I think this is the video that really helped me. I've been saying: "I'm having a flashback" when I begin to feel really bad and IT WORKS! The bad feelings just kind of melt away. Thanks a lot!

Thank you this is a fantastic video, Ive beeen watching your videos for a while as I have Cpsd.. Anxiety and depression disorder, Agrophobia,Ocd, and now been diagnosed with emotionally dysfunction disorder after a traumatic childhood and then a run of destructive and very abusive emotionally and physically abusive relationships, and now concentrating on healing and repairing myself, focus is me and self love and nurture now and understanding me. This has been a interesting and helpful video and i have gained some skills to assist my healing process. Your videos and discussions I associate with well with having lived with a covert narcissist and a narcissist in my adult life and completely broke 5 months ago after leaving the covert where all layers of trauma of a lifetime has came to the surface and now having a lot of work with a psychiatrist and counselors but have input a great deal of techniques to manage and heal and this video is great for that. I need to start calling them flashbacks and not melt downs so they are understood more also by people when I retreat and become emotional and become recluse to escape any triggers. Thank you for your helpful and informative videos. Also your dog is adorably cute. Natasha

I'm glad you made it clear about this not coming from my childhood. It now makes way more sense.

I heard his ripper. He's a slick one, haha!! Thank you so much for yet another incredibly helpful video, Richie. Self-compassion doesn't magically create itself overnight. It's a really difficult (but worthwhile) process. Thank you for reminding me that I can't always be so hard on myself. (Someone already did that for me.) When I experience these frightening emotional (and visual) flashbacks, I'm beginning to treat myself as I would a young child... "Checking in" with that little girl within me who never had a voice. Practicing this makes such a huge difference. How easy it is to feel compassion for others, and how difficult it is for us to truly feel the same thing for ourselves, eh!? It's time to show our inner critics who's boss!! Thanks again, my dear. You are such a blessing to so many of us.

Thanks Richard. Spot on, as always. Hoping to secure funds to attend the seminar. God bless mate xx

More advice on handling emotional flashbacks kzread.info/dash/bejne/gHtkmcqzfpa3Z9o.html

@susandurrant25

8 жыл бұрын

+gertrude sartor what an incredible story you have to tell. Amazing.... How are you doing now? Susan xxx

@gee.ess.1112

8 жыл бұрын

+susandurrant25 well indeed thank-you. I might remove this post actually, since there is a big focus on details of the injury instead of on the recovery - and I don't like to get too into the events themselves as much as what to do about them and how to overcome them..... but I felt really prompted to say something because SLC is unsure if that combat veteran's story is true. I would like to assure people that his story is all too true. I know, I've lived it. Cheers

@peterjoyce4223

8 жыл бұрын

+Poetic Justice hi its so amazing to finally relate to something and it just clicks if the therapist doesn't listen its time to get another if he/she is an arrogant ass and doesn't listen then defend yourself by finding someone who will Its your choice good luck !!!

@Hana-uy1wi

8 жыл бұрын

This time I have to disagree ! It's not flashback ! It's a red flag ! It's called intuition ! Ones you know how neglect feels like - you can see the fuckers from far away !!!!!!!!!!!! Hate my own mother for that . Can't stand fake two facet people . The world is fake ! So suck it up - I do ! Live for your self ! I guess that's how one kind of narcissism is born ;)

@LuxiTV

8 жыл бұрын

+RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH wow, thank you so much, these videos are really helpful

Richard, this is one of your best. I very much enjoy Max as well.

@Treebard

8 жыл бұрын

It's easier to appreciate him when we can't smell. (: I wonder if Max knows he's a KZread star??? :)

Thanks for another excellent video. This one was hugely relevant to my current situation. Thanks again.

Finally ordered Pete Walker's books. Thanks so much. Finally found my people. Finally felt like I wasn't alone.

2 days in of meeting inner child ,...sudden urgency as cancer diagnosis so pushed to meet before too late, had treatment for depression 5 yrs ago thought to be due mentally ill step mother and weak father and abusive husband for 40 yrs. Finally left 2 yrs ago and now facing arthritis due to neglect and scalp psoriasis Lung cancer etc. I have removed layers of Dirt from my scalp,its like it's been preserved in layers wrapped around my and is so painful,embarrassing crazy making.I cannot believe what I am seeing,yet I feel better in my head as connected with myself,no help till next week! I was going to say Thank You,you and Elkhart Tolle have enabled me be myself since I was 8 and now 63. My teeth were my confirmation of cptsd. GP gave me a cynical comment when I suggested cptsd.

Sheeshus!! It’s so good. Thank you for sharing. Your mind is brilliant and adored.

Thank you for articulating your two points on "shock" and coping "software". You are a Mensch!

Thanks Richard your videos are gold man you've help me with this process a great deal. when I get the chance I will donate to your channel.

Thank you. I have had cptsd (since I was 4) and you have just explained why it is that when I was happily sailing along into a rare good fulfilling relationship (first one in ten years)... suddenly something hit my broadside and it all sunk with such a speed that it took my breath away. Now, I can see that I was triggered and freaked into a state of acute vulnerability which instantaneously wiped me -and the relationship, totally out. Is this the point, I wonder, where I give up and get myself a farting dog as a companion instead..??? Time to quit. This affliction is a fucking nightmare. In so many ways... Thank you. I appreciate your rambling, expletive peppered but instructive talks. Peace out ☮️

I recently found this channel and have been exploring your videos; especially the ones regarding cptsd. I finished reading Judith Herman's book on trauma about 3 weeks ago, and also ordered Pete Walkers book, based on your recommendation (I'm about half way through). These videos are a great source of information, and I like when you use "psychological gobbledygook," because it is a language I speak. Thank you so much for the helpful resource!

You are brilliant! Little Cra-Cra. Teaching is your gift. Love it.

Thank you thank you thank you. You are helping me immensely. I am sooo grateful for you.

@timmcmahon7

7 жыл бұрын

Simply Megan lo

Deep thank you for the videos you make. I find them really comforting...I'm a pretty aware kind of girl put the work in...journal my stuff. The silent abuser as sad as they are still uses me to gain supply....through the abuse of my daughter...I think those who can't and wont grow spend a life time doing that. I'll spend my life time doing the opposite. Bless you much thanks.

This has ministered to me. Brilliant Thanks.

Richard please don't shame the dog. He might get CPTSD, you are an outer critic for him.

@Roxsandee

7 жыл бұрын

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

@daughteroftheking5700

5 жыл бұрын

You are funny! 😂😂😂

perfect timing...helps so much to understand to look at the why's behind my terrors. Here's to hopefully some better sleep

Dang it MAN, it took me decades to realize, I can't look at horror movies, violent movies, and I had to change my diet, and everything you said is SO on point. I am actually working on VULNERABILITY these days. Love how you use impressions to enhance your examples. THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO! Sharing with my eldest son who is a vet.

Wow that's how I feel... trapped in a job with a controlling, angry narcissist. I withdraw and feel helpless. I have health issues because I kept everything in. 😢

Thank you for uploading this, I have severe CPTSD , ...it's so difficult living with this isn't it, especially when something happens unexpectedly that is not organised in new normality life. For me, it's if I'm not aware of an event feeling like going down into the deep rabbit hole between emotional flashbacks,recognising crisis modes what it is and going back into reality to and fro- when learning the intensity of different anger,calming down ,avoiding the situation..feelings,etc I'm becoming quicker in my responses. For example I have planned taxis to pick me up to take me to work protected and one day the taxi never arrived and I had a massive stress out at the firm, ..luckily I was able to resolve this situation as an adult . The taxi was so understanding but I'm embarrassed .

The dissociated at 7:42, I do that all the time, never put two and two together and realized it was a form of dissociating, thanks for the video!

@jo_oi1364

5 жыл бұрын

Hayley Quinn Aww crap!

Max is a good boy! I believe you have helped me tremendously. But I have a long way to go. Thank you!

wow, timely for me too. I had a 'flashback' type thing, everything has been fine for me and my husband, and he withdrew a little from me when I advanced at him with a little wink and rub on the back. He was like whatever I'm busy. I freaked out. I couldn't take the rejection (we are talking 30 plus years of marriage here). My mother and father were horrible people so I'm recovering from their damage. I took off went to the movies, sat through two movies, went home, slept on coach. Couldn't talk or look at my husband for 3 days. Finally I told him what it did to me, for some reason these things are affecting me worse in later life then they ever did the first years of our marriage. Vunerability must also be age related? don't know, we are fine now, but I'm brittle, thin skinned and don't know where the hell this came from all the sudden.

@theelizardqueen

4 жыл бұрын

My bf did that to me and i told him why it happened and he told me to get over it and kept getting angry at me for being "upset". Said i had no reason to be upset.

Thank you from Sarajevo, Richard

My counselor, I'm working with, has told me I have c-ptsd, and to be honest, I've been debating whether, I really do or not. Well, you are defiantly describing me. I can relate to the point, you brought up, about not feeling like your parents "abused" you. Has been a major road block, in my recovery, and realizing your abusers can be uncles, cousins, parents'of childhood friends, and even "friends".

Amazing timing on this video, wow. A few days ago I thought I was having some type of anxiety attack in reaction to something that didn't warrant that type of reaction. I found myself in a state of uncontrollable shaking in fear, uncontrollable crying lasting at least 45 minutes. I was able to recognize this time during this happening, that how I was feeling was familiar to me somehow. After contemplation, I now understand where this came from and where I have felt it before. This video is so helpful. Thank you.

Thank you, that explanation helped so much. I recently experienced an emotional flashback and recognised the trigger at the time, but didn't have the terminology to explain it. Thanks again.

I LOVED IT! GREAT VIDEO! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Superb video rings so many bells with me from beginning to end... There is not a big enough thumb to thumbs up with on this one... BTW I heard that story also of the special forces guy too and how he defied medical science in the way you describe... All the patterns you describe are spot on! Really... I think you included a really good "Road map" on this video especially with how the different stages of relationship(s) tend to play out... 100% agree from my experience(s)...

Friend you are so smart blows my mind when you talk!

Thank you for making it so visible

I started listening to you from your fantastic video, Why does your family hate you? to this latest one. You have explained everything in a way I could understand. Shockingly truthful. I've even just started a new relationship and I'm suffering emotional flashbacks by the bucketful even after 3 dates. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I'd love to come and see you in London. You have in the most caring, amusing and compassionate way....You've read my crazy mind. I wish you all the love in the world.... Susan xx

THANK YOU FOR THESE INFORMATIVE VIDEOS.

@joyfulone1816

4 жыл бұрын

As in YAH First? Love his stuff too! Appreciate the research he's dedicated himself to doing 😊

Max is a good boy. Thanks Max. This video was powerful.

Thank you, that has changed everything....