As an unfaithful, I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life. I’m currently doing the uncomfortable things to make my spouse feel safe, like counseling. The more I think about it, what I’ve done, it really wasn’t worth it. I have a problem and I am going to do everything necessary to get help.

@brandy4522

4 жыл бұрын

I applaud you. Prayers for you and your spouse during this time. I see this was 4 wks ago when I'm replying. I hope you both have stayed encouraged and are still healing.

@edinne24

3 жыл бұрын

Words of love and wish you two well in your recovery!

I found AR only 2 days after D-day. I am so blessed to have found this channel so so early. Without it, I do not know what I would have done. Thank you so much. This work you are doing is so useful, so important. Thank you.

ALL Unfaithful spouses need to hear this!!!!!!! I am a betrayed spouse and would not consider trying to save my marriage if I didn't find AR network

Hope this is part of Hope for Healing curriculum. My unfaithful husband really needs to hear this. I realize it’s not my job to make or help him get this, hard as that is for me and as much as I think it is needed to help me heal.

Does the betrayed spouse ever "forget it" ? Recent interaction from some marriage helper folks on Twitter. They said you can forget. I don't see how that is possible. That's like forgetting you got hit by a truck or had everything you love stolen from you. Forgive yes, forget, nah doc.

@samshealingpodcast

4 жыл бұрын

i don't see forgetting it. not letting and having it be at the forefront of your mind every day sure, but forgetting it, i would have to say no way. but you won't and don't fixate on it at all years down the road with the right help. samantha hasn't and will never forget, but she doesn't have it on her mind at all i can tell you that.

@Jeradactile

4 жыл бұрын

@@samshealingpodcast I can definitely see that. It just kinda irked me when they said that, and when I challenged it they just liked the post and went about their day. As will I ha ha. Thanks for the reply sir. Your honesty and openness has been absolutely pivotal in our healing journey. Definitely won't forget you all !!

@mackendylordeus1625

4 жыл бұрын

You can certainly forgive but I don’t see how you can forget. Think of this illustration: The infidelity is a wound. When it initially occurs, it’s gory, it’s bloody, and it hurts. Overtime the wound begins to heal and hurts less. The wound becomes a scar and it no longer hurts. You have the scar to remind you of the damage but it doesn’t hurt anymore. This is how I’m looking at recovery work.

@danaaustin582

3 жыл бұрын

@@samshealingpodcast Samuel, ive been trying to reach out to you. My husband and I need your help. How can we communicate with one another?

@samshealingpodcast

3 жыл бұрын

@@danaaustin582 go ahead and email support@hope-now.com and ask them to push to me.

Thank you Samuel and team.Much appreciated. Thanks for all you do.

Samuel...you really hit the nail on the head

@samshealingpodcast

4 жыл бұрын

so glad. thank you

Thank you Samuel and Affair recovery.

I wish my ex-husband would take responsibility for the decision he made to divorce. It was something I never wanted but now have to live with the rest of my life. It takes 2 people to agree to marry, but if only one of them is determined to get a divorce, it will happen.

@andrepalms

4 жыл бұрын

P C idk if you believe in Christ but he loves you so much. Pray for your ex-husband out of love, nothing is impossible for God, he is love and love is more powerful than anything, even divorce. Have a blessed day

@svang55

4 жыл бұрын

Doesn't it require both party's signature to get legally divorced?

@PC-dc1kv

4 жыл бұрын

Dark Cloud When your husband tells you he has loved the other woman for 40 years and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, not you, then what good does it do to tell him you won’t sign the divorce papers? You can’t make him love you if he doesn’t. He had already moved in with her and was hellbent for leather that they were going to make up for lost time. So he was already lost to me and signing the papers was a formality.

@PC-dc1kv

4 жыл бұрын

Preston Jones Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I do believe in Christ and I’m praying to be able to give up the anger and pain I’ve felt daily for the last 2 years.

On point.

Spot on. G-d bless you Samuel!

BRAVO! Thanks, Samuel.

@samshealingpodcast

4 жыл бұрын

thank you

@TheSourKraut

4 жыл бұрын

@@samshealingpodcast how do I find true expert help locally? They ALL claim to be experts when I call and I've already had one REALLY bad experience. Do you have maybe a state specific list of recommendations? It's frustrating to be told "of course I have experience and am a true expert, but my personal life is none of your business" and then, hundreds or even thousands of dollars later find out that your "expert" has caused even more damage. Any advice here is greatly appreciated. (I don't know how to email you so I had to post this here. My apologies)

Perfect timing

Thank you for your videos they have been a big help it is so hard to see your spouse as a safe place it takes time my heart is so broken 😢

Is there a video about when the unfaithful spouse starts accusing the betrayed spouse of doing "suspicious" things and accusing the betrayed spouse of cheating or of doing the lying/manipulating behaviors that they themselves did during the affair when in fact the betrayed spouse is doing nothing of the sort? I think it's called projection. Its the most insulting, hurtful, demeaning thing I have experienced in this whole process.

@leticiabarnes9614

3 жыл бұрын

There are some where he talks about projecting.

I've sent this video to my unfaithful spouse 3 or 4 times. She's still not owning her actions. I hope this concept speaks to her soon, or we're not going to move forward and she's going to continue to damage me. Man, this sucks.

My husband says he wants to die everyday, I don't know what to do! I am the only one that cheated! We've been together almost 30yrs. I did this early on and I'm so ashamed of myself! Even if he would forgive me,I don't think I can forgive myself! I'm willing to do whatever it takes to save us! It's hard for me to accept what I did to him! He says he hates himself, when it's me he should hate! I'm so scared he's going to commit suicide! HELP. We have 6 kids that he hates too bc he is saying he's not sure their his and they are!

@promisejohnson7163

4 жыл бұрын

Can GOD forgive me?

@mackendylordeus1625

4 жыл бұрын

promise johnson Speaking as an unfaithful myself, I know how you feel. We’ve dropped this bomb in our relationship and we wish it never happened. I struggle with forgiving myself but God certainly does forgive. He forgives and never brings it up again. Be encouraged, do the work, and I pray that everything works out.

BINGO!!!

This is a hard place to be. In my past counseling whether worldly or “pastoral” has made things worse because most don’t understand the under tones of how we get in these situations because of trauma that has to be dealt with. I just want our children to do better than us. #Jesusistheonlyway #hurtpeoplehurtpeople #nexrgenerationiswatching #itisnotgoodtobealone #Godswayistheonlyrightway

How specific do you need to be when owning it? I've owned it but in we're in the middle of a divorce (her choice) so I couldn't into specifics protect my case. I had to be general in saying that I was sorry for betraying you. She forgave me but we're still not talking bc of the divorce. Not sure what else I can do. I have sought help (counseling and accountability) and I have found freedom from my online addiction and improved as a person.

@samshealingpodcast

4 жыл бұрын

that's about all you can do my friend, until and unless she gives you a chance to make amends and reconnect with her. if she won't let you reconnect with her and if she won't let you back in, it's about doing what you can right now. maybe, in time, with work, she will open up again to reconnecting with you. i've seen it happen and i know it's possible. you can't make her feel safe or make her feel healed, but maybe she will do the work and reconsider in time?

What does helping the betrayed look like?

@samshealingpodcast

4 жыл бұрын

here's a course to help the betrayed: www.affairrecovery.com/product/harboring-hope helping the betrayed is also being patient, compassionate, answering questions when asked, committing to doing repair work, being patient with the entire process, doing work on their own as well as together. giving details. just to name a few.