Harvard Class Day June 4 2003 Will Ferrell SNL 352nd Commencement part 1 of 3
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352nd Harvard Commencement
Class Day speech
June 4, 2003
Will Ferrell
This is not the Worcester, Mass Boat Show, is it? I am sorry. I have made a terrible mistake. Ever since I left "Saturday Night Live," I mostly do public speaking now. And I must have made an error in the little Palm Pilot. Boy. Don't worry. I got it on me. I got the speech on me. Let's see. Ah, yes. Here we go.
You know, when Bill Gates first called me to speak to you today, I was honored. But when he wanted me to be one of the Roxbury guys, I -- Sorry, that's Microsoft. I'm sorry about that. Star Trek Convention. No. NRA. NAACP. Dow Chemical. No. But that is a good one. That is a good speech. The University of Michigan Law. Johns Hopkins Medical School. I'm sorry. Are you sure this is not the boat show? No, I have it. I do have it on me. I do. It's here. Thank you.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Distinguished Faculty, Administrators, Friends and Family and, of course, the graduating Class of 2003, I wish to say hello and thank you for bestowing this honor upon me as your Class Day speaker. After months of secret negotiations, several hundred secret ballots, and a weekend retreat with Vice President Dick Cheney in his secret mountain bunker, a Class Day speaker was chosen, and it was me. You obviously have made a grave error. But it's too late now. So let's just go with it.
Today's speech is going to be a little different, a little unorthodox. Some of you may find it to be shocking. I'm not going to stand up here and try to be funny. Because even though I am a professional comedian of the highest caliber, I've decided to do one thing that a lot of people are probably afraid to do, and that's give it to you straight.
As most of you are probably aware, I didn't graduate from Harvard. In fact, I never even got a call back from Admissions. Damn you, Harvard! Damn you! I told myself I would not get emotional today. But damn it, I'm here, and sometimes it's just good to cry.
I'm not one of you. Okay? I can't relate to who you are and what you've been through. I graduated from the University of Life. All right? I received a degree from the School of Hard Knocks. And our colors were black and blue, baby. I had office hours with the Dean of Bloody Noses. All right? I borrowed my class notes from Professor Knuckle Sandwich and his Teaching Assistant, Ms. Fat Lip Thon Nyun. That's the kind of school I went to for real, okay?
So my gift to you, Class of 2003, is to tell you about the real world through my eyes, through my experiences. And I'm sorry, but I refuse to sugarcoat it. I ain't gonna do it. And I probably shouldn't use the word "ain't" during this day in which we celebrate education. But that's just the way I play it, Homes.
Graduates, if you will indulge me for a moment, let me paint a picture of what it's like out there. The last four or, for some of you, five years you've been living in a fantasyland, running around, talking about Hemingway, or Clancy, or, I don't know, I mean whatever you read here at Harvard. The Novelization of the Matrix, I don't know. I don't know what you do here.
But I do know this. You're about to enter into a world filled with hypocrisy and doublespeak, a world in which your limo to the airport is often a half-hour late. In addition to not even being a limo at all; often times it's a Lincoln Towncar. You're about to enter a world where you ask your new assistant, Jamie, to bring you a tall, non-fat latte. And he comes back with a short soy cappuccino. Guess what, Jamie? You're fired. Not too hard to get right, my friend.
A world where your acting coach, Bob Leslie-Duncan -- yes, the Bob Leslie-Duncan -- tells you time and time again that you will never, ever be considered as a dramatic actor because you don't play things real, and are too over the top. Amazing! Simply amazing!
I'm sorry, graduates. But this is a world where you aren't allowed to use your cell phone in airplanes, during live theater, at the movies, at funerals, or even during your own elective surgery. Apparently, the Berlin Wall went back up because we now live in Russia. I mean just try lighting up a cigar in a movie theater or paying for a dinner for 20 friends with an autograph. It ain't that easy. Strong words, I know. Tough talk. But more like tough love. Because this is where my faith in you guys comes into play, Harvard University's graduating Class of 2003, without a doubt, the finest...
Пікірлер: 323
Somewhere in the crowd is Natalie Portman
@johnyringo6890
6 жыл бұрын
Who?
@walterkonopka5736
6 жыл бұрын
So was Al Franken, just happened to notice the camera pan by him once or twice. And I'm quite sure there are a few other celebrity guests and of course graduates as whether you become a conventional types of celebrity or not, after you graduate Harvard you can be seen as quite the celebrity, especially if your family isn't Legacy?! LOL!
@thermoplastischesaethylend1046
3 жыл бұрын
@@johnyringo6890 Natalie Portman. Beautiful Star Wars and Vendetta Actor... She studied in Harvard from 1999 till 2003
That's the single best entrance ever hahahahahahaha
Will is such an amazing talent. We are so blessed to have him alive during our generation watching his career continue to unfold
Pretty cool that Natalie Portman was there for her graduation on the ecstatic day. Imagine that, graduating with Natalie Portman and as Will Ferrell gives the commencement speech!!
I'm grading his speech for my Advanced Communications class and I could not be happier
Natalie Portman is somewhere in that crowd
@NazriB
2 жыл бұрын
Lies again? Soccer Trial
@sachin_shinde27
Жыл бұрын
That's what I thought
@NFS305
Жыл бұрын
She’s so bae
Its so weird this was 11yrs ago now, crazy how time flies! And weird seeing video that was made before HD and the really high quality cameras that the general public use today lol
Didn't Natalie Portman graduate from Harvard in 2003?
@stephanyulloa7411
8 жыл бұрын
yes
2013: We had Oprah 2007: We had Bill Gates 2003:
First 38 seconds ... goes to show you cannot teach charisma.
Haha what a year, 2003, crazy times.......
the intro dude reminds me of Thad Castle
@markiemark8641
3 жыл бұрын
Was mmm m
OH SHIT!!!:-P I am in such a bad mood right now....and now just watching this made me laugh like crazy and put a smile on my face. THANK YOU GATOR!!!:-)
3:16 did i just spot al franken?
This was prime Will Ferrell!🤣
@wavemantha4th
Жыл бұрын
STRAIGHT UP!!!!!
He's very eloquent. A sign of a good comedian is intelligence.
I graduated from the school of life...our colors were black and blue, baby!
that was quite funny. those kids in the audience were privileged to be there.
he is soo good.
Frank the tank, Frank the tank, Frank the tank!
AWESOME
i completely agree!
Wow this mamy years ago
"Palm Pilot" LOLA Shows how far back this really goes!
@chrisfi3d
9 жыл бұрын
A joke within a joke
wow everyone there was so lucky
Best Commencement ever
brilliant
i watched anchorman again after this.
He did say "Yeaaah"
Wow this was before Anchorman.
17 people were trying to find the Wooster, Mass. Boat Show speech
lol, 2003, when videos were recorded with toasters
Would love to see that speech :-)
Will Ferrell is awesome!
@NazriB
2 жыл бұрын
Lies again? Soccer Trial
Jesus he's so funny
the guy behind will looks like he's in serious pain
Kool &The Gang - Celebration--great music!
I love how they laugh 10x more at bill gates jokes....
The guy sitting behind Ferrel looks like he could be 'before they were famous' mugshot of Walt Jr. from breaking bad. Lol
straight to VHS..... LOL
Worcester MA Shoutout WOOO!!
For those who doesn't understand why this is on Tyra's list of favorite videos, it's most likely because she is currently attending Harvard and I can only guess on her relation ship to Will Ferrell or maybe she relates to this speech in a special way that a Dane like me dosen't understand :)
Anyone else annoyed by the first speaker?
@Jononeal9
10 жыл бұрын
I wanna punch his face.
@someguy604
10 жыл бұрын
Jon O'Neal Me too
@johnyringo6890
5 жыл бұрын
Its Stifler.
If this is Harvard, I will go there.
I think he just says "Yeaaah"
Guy at 4:59, "all the books I've read say I should be laughing right now"
"AT THE BOAT SHOW!..."
Im surprised a place like harvard would want will ferrell to give a speech
This is one of the funniest performances i have ever seen - and as a small admission I did get (got a 2.1 degree in theatre acting) & have seen EVERY uk & us stand up from sarah silverman to jack dee to billy connolly live - Am rare UK 'Amerophile'? Whatever! this but especially his 'evening with george bush' - which is in my opinion - the best, poignant performances EVER...
check out Al Franken at 3:17
I like
"wooster ma"
well it was awesome speech but the audience didn't think so but i think it was great
Talking about authors like Hemingway and Tom Clancy! haha Will Ferrell is hilarious.
I would put it up but I never got the video from my teacher..I did get an A on it though!
Wow, you're so mean dude, LOL. That guy is going to be crying the entire time while he's driving to the bank.
I LOVE YOU !!!
Mark Zuckerburgh didn't Graduate College...
his speech are so true for graduates....out there is a real world, not campus life
damn you harvard..... damn you!!!!!!!!
Is that SCOTUS justice Kagan on the dais?
Dude..Will Ferrell is nutz LOL.
i love his dance hahaha
@rockyross7108
5 жыл бұрын
foofight22 marry me pls😍
@NFS305
Жыл бұрын
@@rockyross7108 how’d that go?
4:10 Yeah!
Jealous much? Sorry you had a crappy education. Don't worry though, society needs people to serve the burgers at the drive thru. Don't let them fool you... you are a valuable member of society.
And here I thought that he was going to start singing boats and hos...
5.44 is that Ed Miliband?????
@georgetreschi3716
8 жыл бұрын
he studied at Harvard in that year
How did I get here?
Palm Pilot......HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Ah back in the day where it wasn't so freaking scary
He probably had the moustache and longer hair 'cause of Anchorman
Everything was okay good
sooo funny!
And somewhere in that crowd was mark zuckerburgh
have fun hating everyone while he's being your boss or simply making moves in life.
The opening hosts>>>>>
Confirmed, that is Al Franken :D
Palm Pilot reference. 240p. Verified as 2003.
lol he said john hopkins...its johns...but you're still awsome will
THE FACE
i saw this video when it first came out, is it just me or do the video quality get worse over the years because i do not remember it being this bad?
Yeah... :)
I am still trying to figure out why Harvard hosts there graduation ceremony in a high school gymnasium
Ah, 2003. Back when I was still in high school, living with my mom, and not in the real world. The real world fucking sucks!
Now we live in a utopia where cell phones are every where...
is that Mclovin in the back? I thought he went to Dartmouth?
1:09 the only one who can dance.
Funny how non of the guys had any idea that one of the future richest guys in the world is walking among them.
@jousireischig
8 жыл бұрын
***** young Zuckerberg
@theDataStudent
8 жыл бұрын
+Josef R Zuckerberg never graduated from Harvard, he dropped out like a few months before gradution
@ryank1625
8 жыл бұрын
+Josef R 😂😂😂
@jimmya.8024
7 жыл бұрын
+Bharath Sivakumar But he was walking among them at one point
Will's such a good troll...at 1:22 after he looks at the teachers some of them look really confused.
what about that big banner in the back that says "2003"?
At 3:16 .... Is that Al franken ?
It was 2003. Recorders made from vegetables were common place.
Wait, what'd that guy say? You did the link wrong so there's no "view comment." Can you get back to me pretty soon about this? Thank you.
What does the guy from the crowd yelled at 4:04?
he wasnt there lol
Is that Al Franken at 3.18?
HAHAHA!!
Is that Al Franken in the audience at 3:18?
Back to the days when you’d talk about VHCs in a non-ironic or sarcastic way
wow... people are really envious of you lol. You can attribute their rage due to their lower education lol