'There's no barrier between you and God. And that includes men.' LOVE THAT!!

@max-te8ib

6 ай бұрын

I don't understand 😕

It's probably why so many parents/elders insist on cutting their daughters' hair shorter instead of leaving it long & pretty. They'd get mad at their girls for being upset why they're cutting her hair. Then there are other parents that would force their daughters to not cut their hair at all or style it. A female's hair is so triggering to males whether it's positive or negative. So much so that when these women grow up, they get triggered by other women or girls having their hair a certain way. I pray God heals every woman and the girl who has been the victim of someone's trigger. May we be protected and blessed.

I remember back in middle school we had a rule for how our hair had to be tied based on the length of it. The nun said it wasn't done correctly they would chop it off. Once I was taken into the office because mine looked too messy but she let me go when she realized I had 21 clips in my hair in an effort to make it neat. That moment stuck with me so much so that sometimes when I take clips out of my hair I still count them. In high school I had one of the pretty girls tell me "hair is 80% of your appearance" as her reasoning for why guys wouldn't talk to me. I remember being stalked online when my hair was long. I remember creeps saying "oh you would look so much better if your hair was long and straight" In uni. I was told that I would look more professional if I managed to "tame" my curly frizzy hair. When I went to cut my hair short the hairdresser stopped and asked me "are you sure? is everything alright?". When I cut my hair short my mother cried because as a Desi hair has a lot of significance. Hair is everything that's why there are some places in America that have rules for how African Americans are supposed to do their hair or you hear professionals talk about how they did their hair in order to be taken seriously. Is it just a way to control peoples spending and behaviour? Some religious cults have rules by which your hair should be cut. Certain dictatorships that have predetermined hair styles for the folk. Quebec has banned government employee use of hijabs and turbans because they are considered religious symbols but thats so selective because I doubt theres anyone going around telling people not to wear crosses. I always like your topics ;)

@nicoleraheem1195

Жыл бұрын

"Your hair is 80 percent of your appearance ". I'm just going to take this part and apply it to my life 😂 Same outfit - Natural fro - Ignored 🙂 Thought it was because I'm 200lbs. Same outfit - long natural looking weave- people are more kind 🙂 If it isn't the hair, it's the race, and if it is that, it's the social status - this world is superficial

@gloriagi9499

Жыл бұрын

This reminds me of stories I've heard from my parents' generation (former Eastern Block) - they had to wear uniforms with school insignia, very strict about colours, no nail polish or makeup or colourful hair ties/pins and girls had to wear their hair in two braids and if you didn't have enough turns in your braid they would just cut your hair short

@kevinhansen9258

Жыл бұрын

in terms of crosses they've become ubiquitous across all groups, unlike hijabs.

Finally someone. Talking about this! People like to say "it's just hair". It should be, but.. ITS NOT. Our society is too wrapped up in a war between race, politics, gender, ideology thatbour hair has gotten tangled in the mix. If someone wants to express themselves with a hair color, I should be able to express my faith with my hijab! Leave us alone!

@4c_Hijabi

Жыл бұрын

@Trinity M hello, I'm a black woman with tightly coiled 4c hair AND a Muslim. Very aware of racism and very much against it. When I said wrapped up in a war I meant exactly what I said. The fact that you responded the way you think proves my point. My argument is simply that I am allowed to do as I please with MY hair without someone imposing their ideology on me. It's not just hair. Because our society has attached a lot of symbolism in relation to this war with our hair. There's politics and history wrapped up in it. Nothing I stated indicated that other women should not be free to do as they wish but you seemed to interpret it that way and add your own ideology.

@treectrice9180

Жыл бұрын

​@@4c_Hijabi I agree with you as a fellow hijabi, but why does your user name include your hair type?

I feel like hijab has been a filter for people that don’t have a place in my life. Once I started to wear it some people were respectful and others showed a side of them I’d never have expected, even from family. It showed me who to value and protected me from those I should maintain distance from. It protects me in mental and physical ways, and I love it so much.

Fleabag's speech about hair being everything is the first thing that came to my mind and damn she's right.

When I was in primary school (about 7 or 8 years old) there was this one girl in my class who always told me "you're a bad Muslim, you're going to hell because you don't wear your hijab properly!" And this wasn't a one off, the girl hated me. One day she comes up to me, gives me the usual crap that she does and pulled my hijab off my head. Mind you, this was in an Islamic school so of course, Hijab coming off is a big no no. I didn't say anything, I fixed my hair calmly and then pushed her so hard she hit her head against a brick wall. You'd think that would shut her loud ass up...nope. Later that year I was moving to another school, a mixed school (*GASP* SO HARAM!) and somehow this little gremlin comes up to me and shouts "you're going to a none Muslim school! How are you going to pray?! How are you going to be a good Muslim?!" I'm like girl, mind your own business and chill the hell out. I swear being in an Islamic school was absolute hell on earth. I have never been treated so unkindly by both students and teachers alike. So much judgement, so much criticism, no room bettering yourself if you do make a mistake. The non-Islamic school actually treated me like a human being. Best decision my parents ever made.

@radhiadeedou8286

Жыл бұрын

You were 7, why were you wearing a hijab at all?

@bombombakudan2831

Жыл бұрын

@@radhiadeedou8286 i heard that a lot of these islamic schools tend to have uniforms for girls that require the hijab so maybe thats why. smth about normalizing wearing it

Hair seems to be the one part of our body that continues to change significantly in the short term and for the rest of our lives. I suppose it's a living historical artifact (granted they're all dead cells). You can literally hold a piece of your past self, watch it grow farther away, feel how you're still connected to it; and if that connection bothers you, you cut off. Fascinating topic, you've convinced me. Hair is everything!

@moonlightbae333

Жыл бұрын

It ain’t that deep

When I was growing up I was always told “your crown (hair ) is your glory “ . You can only imagine how my southern family reacted when I started to cover my hair when I converted to Islam . It took some time but now it’s not really a thing with them but let’s not get started on how the Muslim community came at me 😐

@LetsBeClear87

Жыл бұрын

Fr fr

@Mumsiken

Жыл бұрын

Even though boundaries are very important of Islam people have forgotten them.

@bambeat86

Жыл бұрын

@shweta sharma sometimes the religion they were following before didn't suit them or they disagreed with its beliefs so they convert to one that resonates with them more. people are dying everyday from starvation, dehydration, murder and more. millions of injustices are being committed across the globe, so if the worst thing you've ever heard of is people converting to a different religion then you must be very sheltered.

@jfm14

Жыл бұрын

@shweta sharma Surely you agree that while no religion is better than the others in general, they do have their differences... which means a person may find that one's teachings resonate with them more deeply than another.

@bambeat86

Жыл бұрын

@shweta sharma I think it's nice that you can respect all religions like that, but not all people are able to perceive their original religion in that way. you're right about there being differences, like dietary ones for example. my family follows this sort of hybrid between christianity and judaism, so we keep a kosher diet. there are other factors too though. for example, i don't agree with some of the teachings of my religion like "all other religions are from the devil," "women shouldn't wear pants," etc,. so even though my family practices this religion, it doesn't resonate with me so i consider myself to be non-religious and follow other spiritual practices instead :)

I shaved my head in high school and my mom refused to be in the same room as me for months. She also said she was worried our neighbor with cancer would think I was “making fun of her”??? Like who would do that. I loved having a shaved head for ease of care, my hair even chin length takes like 5-6 hours to dry. But I didn’t like dealing with the perception people had of me with a shaved head!

@helmsmanpacker3456

Жыл бұрын

I love this comment, InshAllah your situation with others perception’s of you is going well! At least you have the joy of relaxation of not having long hair Having experienced both hairstyles I understand your experience haha and i found I enjoy long hair just as much lots of love

@lilpretzel5629

Жыл бұрын

Just shaved my head and love it, have a nice headshape looks cute(⁠灬⁠º⁠‿⁠º⁠灬⁠)⁠♡

@helmsmanpacker3456

Жыл бұрын

@@lilpretzel5629 Alhamdulillah that must feel nice c: did anyone say anything about it?

@ah5721

Жыл бұрын

I had a pixi cut and my longer hair takes 4 hours to dry without help! I feel your pain .

Hair is such an odd thing. I used to have very long hair when I was in my early teenage years. Then at 17 I cut it really short (which somehow made me look like a male kpop idol. Mind u I'm a woman). I'm going to be 20 soon and I still have short hair. As soon as my hair gets medium length, I tend to cut it since I find it more convenient to have a pixie cut. Here are the things that changed so far: People take me more seriously in academic settings. Perhaps this also has to do with my body language, but for the most part, I've always been an oddball so I learned to not care what others think of me, but when I had long hair, people would assume that I'm stupid, while now, that I stand out, they find me charming and confident. I've been very oddly been approached by these business people thinking that I'm some person of importance, even tho I'm not lol. But yeah, they just find me smarter now. Another thing is that boys find me less attractive. I'm studying in a male dominated field and am surrounded by boys, and they all treat me like one of the boys, which is why I hate them mostly. They all feel comfortable to release their sexist jokes around me, thinking because I look like a guy, I'll also take their shit. They say lots of inappropriate jokes. Also, I haven't been catcalled in YEARS. With long hair, lots of guys would go out of their way to flirt with me and catcall me, but ever since I cut it short, I haven't gotten any guy approach me during the past 3.5 years!!! Girls, if you want to be a badass, cut your hair into a pixie. It'll teach you lots of things about the people around you

@ah5721

Жыл бұрын

I did! Had a pixi -bob off and on for 5 years ! My husband never petted my head that much unless I asked for head pats.longer hair he pets my head more . Never been cat called with short hair but I did have people think I'm less approachable at work and I've seen a shift though when I grow it out. Now I have mid neck length hair people are more open around me in a design setting .

" I got laser eye surgery. I can see it." 😂😂😂😂

I feel like a whole other conversation need to be had as to how in our muslim communities, for a woman it ALL comes down to whether she has a hijab or not, its almost as if the entire religion is made into this one issue, nobody talks about and shares the other requirements you have to have to be as a muslim whether they're physical or spiritual or anything else, its literally down to the hijab, and not even the actual meaning of hijab, no, the sjal that u put to cover the hair and thats it, its so infuriating, how did we even get here. From all those centennials that islam has been around, this is where we sit and have the longest conversations? about hair?? about "you cant speak about modesty or the religion, where's your hijab?" are you kidding me

@lunak3447

Жыл бұрын

Facts honestly, as a Muslim myself, I'm so sick of hijab being the focal point in conversation within our communities. Yes, it is important, but it's more important on how you are as a Muslim. Do you pray , show gratitude, being respectful, and kind to people and family around you. Do you fulfil the 5 pillars of Islam. Those are much more vital things as a Muslim you should take account of.

@larabraver

Жыл бұрын

I couldn’t have said it better 💯

@s.o7365

Жыл бұрын

I agree 100%

@enami8888

Жыл бұрын

Omg so true !!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻girl this is real issue it’s becoming toxic

@propogandalf

Жыл бұрын

It's also not a good qualifier. I know plenty of hijabis who are less religious and/or modest in other ways than non-hijabis

Just here to assure you, white hair happens early these days. I started getting stray white hairs at 23, over the course of 2020. 4 of my friends did too, similar age. We're all students living on our own, I assume it was the stress about how to feed ourselves regularly, keep up online Uni when nobody knew how that worked or what was going on, all stores were closed, you couldn't see friends or family and didn't know if everyone would make it, etc etc. A lot has been happening since our parents were our age, life changed, circumstances changed.

@radhiadeedou8286

Жыл бұрын

My mom started getting gray hair after menopause so I thought I was safe, my grandma had very little grey hairs too, even in her 80s. I got my first at 28

Some times the audacity of people with no rights to demand things around your hair. I remember my EX husband (yes he was already EX at the time ) demanding I dye my hair because my grey was making HIM feel old..... like you gave up any perceived authority over me, and I earned most of these getting away from you, deal with it. The worst part was he real thought I would comply and was confused at my vitriolic response to his demand... we where in court regarding a child visitation matter...

@AdultThirdCultureKid1971

Жыл бұрын

Rock that grey streak, girl!

I wash forced to keep mine long growing up, then I was criticized for wanting it super long when I got older, then I was criticized for not taking care of it properly if I wanted to keep my natural color, then I started taking good care of it and it still wasn’t enough because dying hair is “The mature adult thing to do”. I am now reaching my hair goals and make it a routine to take care of my hair as a way to treasure and take care of myself of what I want to do. My long thick hair makes me feel like a powerful goddess and my long hair partially symbolizes how much I’ve grown and matured as a woman. Taking care of my very long natural hair gives me a sense of autonomy that I never fully had before I became a legal aged adult. Doing natural treatments reminds me I have the power now to do what I want.

This is a very nuanced take on how hair is connected to our history, spirituality and society. I had so much conflicting messages on what “good hair” is as a girl growing up in Africa. There is also the fact that I covered my hair at times because I grew up in a Muslim country with a mother who wears the hijab, I was never a hijabi I just wore it to religous events, funerals etc. Its always interesting how people treat me differently across the world when I have my natural hair, vs braids vs blow out or when I wear a scarf.

For me, hair is a very present thing. I have very thin hair (thin enough that you can see my scalp) and it was a source of insecurity for me for a very long time, even till today. Once I started wearing the hijab on, it was my way of covering up an undesirable part of myself but I failed to understand the significance of hijab. For the longest time, I struggled with wearing it, never feeling connected to it and didn't feel any closer to God than before. Instead of feeling liberated from people judging the state of my hair, people then judge how I wear the hijab. It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned what the hijab really means in Islam and to me personally. But it never ceases to surprise me how red button issue the hijab can be. And for the most part, it's usually about the surface level concept of hijab (length of hijab, style of hijab etc.) rather than the deeper, complex meaning behind hijab.

@hippie.doctor

Жыл бұрын

well said!

@jazbean

Жыл бұрын

Please do share more about what hijab really means in Islam and what it means to you, if you can. I'm also Muslim but I don't wear hijab and I recently went to umrah and wore hijab the whole time. However it really was a struggle as someone who always loved my hair and now that I'm back I'm feeling very conflicted about hijab. I'd always thought that I would end up wearing it when I got older, but now I don't know when I will try wearing it again. I didn't feel like it made me much closer to God, I just didn't feel like myself and was a bit uncomfortable. The one thing is now I have massive respect for the Muslim sisters who wear it every day, haha. Now I'm really trying to learn more and understand the reasons for hijab, apart from the one everyone says about covering your beauty. I guess I want to find my own desire to wear it in a way that will actually make me feel more connected to Islam and God

@YasmeenCheM

Жыл бұрын

@@jazbean The way I understand it, hijab in Islam not only encompasses the physical (aka how we choose to cover our aurat) but also the internal self (such as the mind & heart). Apart from covering our bodies, we also should be careful to shield our heart & mind from things that can tempt us to sin. So to me, I don't see wearing my hijab as a way to cover my beauty bc honestly I don't think I'm so beautiful that people would be gobsmacked looking at me, but it's a way for me to remind myself that I am first and foremost, a Muslim woman. At which, I strive to exemplify traits and attitudes that befit a good Muslim (such as kind, humble etc) in hopes that the good intentions & heart will manifest outwardly. I don't believe that you can be a genuine person, if your heart isn't genuine, no? Therefore, my hijab is to control MY own nafs, not anyone else's. So, before I attempt to do something that is sinful, I ask myself "is this the action of a Muslim?". Wearing the hijab, makes it easier to answer "No" sometimes hahaha Though, to tawakkal in practicing the hijab is no easy feat but I believe that Allah wouldn't have commanded us to do so if He didn't believe we could do it. I find solace in the fact that I may not be able to beautify myself in the way society deems as acceptable, but if Allah is happy with my many attempts at hijab, then I'm fine. So, don't be too hard on yourself and keep searching for that connection. And congrats on performing your umrah and may Allah ease your tarbiyah!!!

@familytorque7936

Жыл бұрын

have you used fenugreek to thicken? and really assessed what you can do to thicken. its really amazing to me to learn the foods , plants, that make hair thick, long, stay its natural color and not grey, plants that help breasts stay firm, or make them large... its all in plants alhamdulillah

@YasmeenCheM

Жыл бұрын

@Family Torque Oh, I haven't heard of fenugreek before but I'll check it out! Thanks for the recommendation :D

I believe we wear it for protection and setting boundaries on how those around us should treat/deal with us.

@mumbilebo5846

Жыл бұрын

exactly

@aaania9034

Жыл бұрын

Did u just say that the women who don't wear it can be mistreated or violated. This is why modesty is such a effed up concept in ur community.

@mads597

5 ай бұрын

Or we could use our words

And that's why my alopecia is such a hard burden - it's because I don't get to make any decisions about how I want to keep my hair and what to do. The last 20 years have only been about harboring this secret, this shame, and doing everything to hide it from others. And it's so exhausting, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

@feralfraulein

Жыл бұрын

I’m sorry. I have aloeocia too and it sucks

@margaritap.9459

Жыл бұрын

@@feralfraulein ♥️

One must first ask why the hijab was even brought in the first place.. as in what was the purpose that it was given as a mandate initially.. was it a choice when it was mandated? And why it's considered haram if not covered etc

Indeed, it's a very important subject. Growing up in Central Asia, where most people have similar type of hair, I never understood why it's political or an issue. Once I moved to France and saw my fellow black girls hiding/putting weaves/hating on their natural hair, I've started to understand about "beauty standards" and their political&social significance. It's sad! 😔😔😔

@Iflie

Жыл бұрын

I'm mixed and my hair took after my father's fro but mostly just very curly and I was wearing it short and an older black guy came upto me one day saying it was good I was wearing it natural and wasn't doing things to it. I didn't understand what he meant till later when I learned about how african descended women go through so much from a young age and place such incredible pressure on it. Th family I grew up in nor dutch culture bothers with anything like that, you just do what you want with it no one cares. I remember a white guy Ol from the U.S saying he was going to cut his hair because he was going job hunting. He just had a straight haired ponytail, nothing crazy at all yet it would effect his chances in the U.S. Here you can be a an old goth and be a criminal defense attorney

@aipeshya

Жыл бұрын

@@Iflie yeah, my heart aches each time I hear/see someone hating on their natural curly hair...

@Iflie

Жыл бұрын

@@aipeshya It's a very toxic message to simultaneously telling their hair is SO important, more so than having food at times but then also setting impossible standards on what it should look like that you can never really achieve with the hair you were born with. Women are doing it to eachother and their own kids. My mom did not know what to do about how my hair tangled so fast but she never gave me a complex about my hair being "bad" and the dutch people around me like exotic things and curls were something they liked. So no one would tell m not to have it that way. Same with thin colour.

@aipeshya

Жыл бұрын

@@Iflie sure, one example shocked me profoundly. My french colleagues were discussing the hairstyle of our black colleague behind her back. She had beautiful braids. They were telling: yeah, she should not be coming like this in the office. It is not professional ! 😳😳😳😳 I was speechless!

@Iflie

Жыл бұрын

@@aipeshya I heard that black women in the U.S say that about other black women wearing their curls out, just the way it grows on their head. As if there is some magical line where softer curls are fine but tighter curls are unkempt and unprofessional. It's a lot of selfhate taught young, they see if from their parents and community and now only feel good spending thousands and thousands on wigs and hair treatments that will damage their hair until they can't even wear it natural because they are partially bald. Have you seen the documentary Good Hair? They explain all that. You have simmilar things on the colour of your skin. I'm so thankful I grew up in the Netherlands where people do not think like that and would react the same way you did about such remarks on hair.

As a convert, I will just say I find it crazy how people can have such strong opinions about my choice to wear hijab and the way that I wear it (on both sides of the religious aisle so to speak!)

@fatimah230

Жыл бұрын

Yup. I know exactly what you mean and it’s frustrating af. You’ll never make everyone happy so just focus on your relationship with Allah and doing your best 💖✨

@mumbilebo5846

Жыл бұрын

Girl thats unfortunate. I am a revert too and I think it took me a good year and a half after converting before I decided to cover my hair, I wore it turban style at first. I got no bad remarks from Muslims alhamdulillah, the just cheered me on and encouraged me to take it slow. So don't worry about what anyone besides Allah SWT thinks. Because Allah knows your intentions and struggles.

@fatisummer9106

Жыл бұрын

True you got attacked from both sides WHY? cuz apparently everybody have a damn opinion ab your hair

@AdultThirdCultureKid1971

Жыл бұрын

As someone who grew up Muslim, I say how you wear hijab is none of their business.

I have worn a hijab since I was 9 years old and I have thinning hair (alopecia), and everyone asks me "Hey, how long is your hair". I quite literally say "I have none" and laugh it off but of course no one believes me. Some people have told me that it's because I cover my hair that I have thinning hair (scientifically this is crap). I had family tell me I'll have trouble getting married cause of my hair but there isn't much I can do about that and I'm more career-oriented anyways. I don't really have control over it and I've pretty much given up on my hair and I'm comfortable with myself at this point. Even though I've slowly lost connection to the meaning behind it, it's a way to cover up an insecurity. I still believe it is strongly up to a person whether they want to wear it or not.

@KendallM0219

Жыл бұрын

You should stop into a doctor and get someone to look at it. There are lots of treatments to regrow your hair back. Women have conditions of female pattern baldness as well. You might be dealing with a hormonal condition. Especially since you’ve been plagued with it for so long.

@blah615

Жыл бұрын

@@KendallM0219 it’s female pattern

@Carolina-rd3gh

Жыл бұрын

@@blah615 I have the same medical issue. But I’d never cover it with a hijab. The meaning of the hijab is disgusting no matter how convenient it may be to hide an insecurity.

@nadilene789

Жыл бұрын

@@Carolina-rd3gh I don't think you actually know anything about the meaning of hijab.

@Carolina-rd3gh

Жыл бұрын

@@nadilene789 I probably know more about it than 95% of Muslims.

Don't forget long hair for men in rock/metal subculture. In my country, in the past, it sometimes would even cause bullying and would prevent you from going to good school.

Loved this video! As always your videos always make me contemplate and reflect 😊

Hair is everything. It’s a symbol of beauty and the loss of it can make people feel like they have gained weight (really)

The very reason I don’t pay any attention to what anyone thinks of my hair. I’ve had every style, color and perm from a pixie cut to hair long enough to sit on which right now I have grown it out during covid and it is down to my waist and it is natural gray now. Never buy into the hype and wear your hair how it makes you happy :) Hair is a personal thing and no ones business.

Would love a part two on how to navigate all the complexities of hair!

I love this reflection. It's a big deal.ty tazzy

Yeah hair definitely matters 😫 I just love the hijab, I love the modesty and elegance it comes with it, I love representing my religion and being untouchable by men and anything haram, it’s like a barrier that only allows goodness in my life and prevents haram Alhamdulillah. It also feels empowering in a way to appreciate my beauty and be protected by evil eye

@ukhticookie

Жыл бұрын

@@trinitym5552 i think modesty is subjective and differs in mant cultures and religions and even within people. again modesty is not just in your Appearance or the way you dress but also your mannerisms and character. As muslims we must strive for both. Modesty is also definitely a journey but it truly is beautiful, especially in a world where women are judged by their appearance especially their bodies. It allows ppl to judge you based on your character and not your appearance. But yeah I get where ur coming from

@Fareeda212

Жыл бұрын

@Trinity M no but hijab is fardh. Simply by wearing it hijabis are obeying the rule of Allah, it is compulsory and goes to the next level of modesty. Yet again no one talked about non-hijabis. Obviously in the eyes of non Muslims and the west non hijabis can be seen as modest, but in Islam you can’t be modest in the way of a Muslim without wearing hijab.

@AlexisTwoLastNames

Жыл бұрын

@@ukhticookiein my opinion, covering up to be seen by my personality and not my appearance is giving in, playing the opponent’s game. in my mind, it isn’t me who needs to change to be seen for who i am, it’s those who assume the way i dress should determine if i deserve respect. that’s not to say i believe all people should dress immodestly; i just truly believe that we all deserve to dress how we want to, but the subject is obviously much more nuanced than a simple statement of “just do you.” it’s definitely something worth a deeper discussion, as it all comes down to a diff in opinion.

@ukhticookie

Жыл бұрын

@@AlexisTwoLastNames I get u 100%, but unfortunately people, esp women are judged solely on their appearance, and so by covering up ur standing against societies constantly changing beauty standards, and their ideology on women. what you’re describing when u say “those who assume the way I dress determines if I deserve respect” that would be great, if we lived ina perf world, but unfortunately we don’t, and even if u was to dress modestly unfortunately you would still be judged for it either way. But again, as a Muslim we don’t dress modestly to gain respect, ultimately it is for our Creator

@AlexisTwoLastNames

Жыл бұрын

@@ukhticookie that makes sense. i’m non-religious, so it is hard for me to relate to your pov about being modest for your creator, but i can accept it as your belief and choice. and to comment on the rest, i do see where you come from, but i guess it sucks that i have to play the game to see that respect. i want to fight the mindset by opposing what is expected of me. of course, to participate in everyday life with some ease, i have to acquiesce to the whims of the patriarchy.

I don't know why, but I love listening to you. You just sound so intelligent and generally come across as a very educated and smart person :). And you seem very kind as well. And I love your style, I love wearing soft colors as well.

I've never thought about hair this way, thank you for sharing Tasneem!

man you're so funny and intelligent. I freaking love your videos!

in my dad family most of us get a white/silver streak by high school, then its salt and pepper until late 50's. I LOVE my silver hairs, I turn 30 this year and I cannot wait for all of it to turn silver! My mother is terrified as shes is starting to get her own now that shes in her 50's and I dont get it at all, grey hair looks so cool!

"The Braid" was a great book I read, that showed 3 different women and the meaning of their hair in their lives. It's beautiful and has multiple of these points😍

Im very white, queer, atheist woman. My hair is very important to me. I like my hair being more masculine because I don't like being hyper feminine and it makes me feel more androgynous.

I love that you both cover and show your hair :)

Very much enjoyed this. Thank you Tazzy.

This was very interesting to hear!

You re so funny and well spoken, looove listening this .

Great video (as always), thank you so much! 😊

i find this topic really interesting. when i was in school my parents rectricted me from cutting my hair short or dying and i hated my hair so much because everyone said that it was so beatiful so curvy so long, but i felt like my hair is not me, but they got more attention and apreciation than me. i also wanted to look more musculine because of some gender fluidity. and after school i cut and died my hair a lot, like every half of year. and i was feeling good, stunning, empowered. however... 5 or 6 years after i started to realise, that i'm no longer happy with my hair short, i want my hair back long and natural. i started to think that my hair actually is me, because it belongs to me, nobody can take it away, they are unique. and now i'm growing it back slowly, but i apreciate the path, it was unavoidable. (sorry for my eng, not a native speaker)

This is an amazing conversation, yes!

My hair and I have been through a lot, from going silver at 18 to being bald in my 40's due to chemo and discovering my hair is naturally wavy/curly in my 50's. For me, my hair is important. It's not everything -- but it is important. I don't mind talking about my time with chemo if you would ever like to get in touch. I really did love your video. Thank you! 💕💕

Great video, you opened my eyes about things, thank you!:D.

great video!! i hate hair discourse sm. it really is everything. so many layers each time and it‘s simply overwhelming. no matter what you do, you can‘t escape the questions and looks.

For me, hair is almost everything as it’s how I make my living & I’m quite proud of that! I can appreciate all hair and what you do with it.

@FoundSheep-AN

Жыл бұрын

How do you make a living from hair? Hair model or something?

Absolutely amazing and educational video 👏👏👏

Amazing, incredibly thoughtful piece covering multitudes within such a short span. Htas off (pun intended!)

Great video. I agree with your thoughts on hijab, it’s a journey and every one has their own style that suits them. 🌸✨

Facts and humor I love it 🎉

wow good topic!

Interesting video. Just wanted to take a minute to admire how real you come across and how willing you are to be honest in your analysis rather than lying to yourself to get to an easy to swallow conclusion. It's a rarity in life, especially online. I would like to note though that hair is not political by nature. I believe the right word would be politicized- i cannot quiet the annoying English teacher inside me haha

Love your video and I really enjoyed this topic! I’m a convert I wore hijab for 5 years but I hated the judgment about how I wore it so much so that I just stopped wearing it and yes I looked way better with it because I have horrible hair so it definitely wasn’t about beauty but the attention and judgment I got when I wore hijab was insane!

LOVED this video

This is the first video I've seen of yours. I don't know why it was recommended. Maybe because I was looking at hair weaving tutorials 😆 I think you're interesting and a funny girl so I'm going to subscribe to your channel for those reasons. Thanks for sharing your views 😌

Enjoyed. Thank you 😊

love it mashalah!

I live in South Africa and honestly, no here cares whether you cover your hair completely, have hair showing of don’t wear a hijab at all. But as a born Muslim, I chose to start wearing the hijab about 3 months ago and it’s crazy that just by covering your hair, I have established a boundary between myself and everyone else.

I've cut and dyed my hair all sorts of lengths and colors either for fun or to signify a change. I look back on pics and different hair colors represent the different phases of my life. I think this video is really interesting. While I don't cover my hair even if I am Muslim, I didn't realize all of the nuance in that conversation about covering hair in Islam until recently.

It looks great. Do what you need to do.

I have red ish hair that’s really long and when I was working this guy said your hair is so beautiful like it was blessed by the angels

Try being a young woman with alopecia. People get mad at you for wearing a wig, they get mad without one. There’s no pleasing people 🙄. Also, just to clarify, alopecia isn’t a “disease”, it’s a trait. Some people, even very healthy people with healthy habits, lose their hair. It runs in families.

Actually really liked this video

"I went to great clips" LMAOOOO

i've been so self-conscious of my hair since forever. It's super thin, started balding in few areas during studies and never truly recovered, oily almost immediately after a good wash, etc etc. I feel so gross and undesirable because of it, like i don't take care of my health or i'm sickly (my 3 year old cousin even asked me if im very sick while playing with my hair😭) There's very few styling techniques i can use that won't expose my scalp, and because of my oily scalp, it shines through the thin veil of hair very unattractively. I didn't know this would knock my self-confidence so tremendously bad but it did. Hair IS everything. I'm truly so envious of people with healthy thick hair, and people who wear head scarves. It's such a silly insecurity but it bothers me constantly

@anonanon2712

Жыл бұрын

Me tooo 🥺 My hair started thinning at 11 years old - before that I had a scalp full of thick, healthy curly hair :( I'm so grateful for the hijab, but sometimes i wonder if my intentions behind it are only for the sake of hiding my insecurity. My hair is only uncovered when I'm around immediate family and that's it. Sometimes I'll think I've accepted it after more than a decade of dealing w this but then I'll wake up from a dream where i had a head full of hair again and it just breaks my heart. Even now, I'm unable to fully watch the video BC it's such a sensitive topic for me. I can only read the comments :( Hair really is everything in society, but I believe that one day it won't be (for me! and for you, I hope). Love and peace to you stranger!

@coolbeans5911

Жыл бұрын

@@anonanon2712 thank you for sharing your experience and for your beautiful kind words of encouragement; my heart truly goes out to you!!! We have to remind ourselves continually that our beauty isn't limited to features such as our hair, and that we are worthy to feel comfortable and confident in the body we inhabit. It's very hard sometimes and it's surely an uphill battle. But as you said, oneday hopefully it won't be such a concern😊🌻

@FoundSheep-AN

Жыл бұрын

Try watching on KZread videos on fenugreek homemade for fine hair and use some cassia or some sidr for volume and thickness

Enjoyed this video! New subscriber 😊

side comment to say: crazy how some ppl only take words seriously if the speaking person fits their idea of "perfect muslim" cuz ik a few "sheikhs/oulamas" (and other synonyms) are going to use this to pretend theyre amazing and the audience doesn't realize it's being led astray irl

Girl you look so much like my friend today, like the whole attitude and the lipstick and your cheeks lol also S/O Allia bc she watches ur channel as well

2:42 yeah my daughter lost her hair during cancer treatment. She didn’t want us to shave it even though it was falling out. She only was happy to get her head shaved when she saw her friend do it.

Yeah I agree. Like I have short hair, and usually I love it. But this time I had to cut it off bc i was so depressed that I couldn't find the energy to take good care of it. When I went to get a haircut, I decided to cut really short. And although it's not ugly at all, and I'm getting better, I don't want to take any pictures in this period of time (someone was commenting on the lack of pics bc I'm pregnant and she feels like maybe I'll regret not having pics to look back once the baby is born) bc this hair represents me loosing control so badly that I had to cut it off and I deeply treasured my hair, weather is short or long.

@jamies7899

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I used to have hair so long I would sit on it, but after 2 kids I cut it. Then I let to grow again really long, but then I found myself in a time where I felt my life was too much for me with a newborn (#3), like I didn’t feel like I had enough time to wash it and do the whole routine that washing would entail (but some part of me didn’t care to wash it anymore), so I cut it really short, and I have felt much better about being able to take care of my basic needs because of this. I really love having long hair, but I’m in a busy season of life, and I have accepted that. So love yourself, and if cutting your hair has helped you, then be happy for yourself and for making that decision. You know yourself better than anyone. ❤️ And making that decision was you taking control of your life, not loosing it. ❤️ Hugs

@ah5721

Жыл бұрын

I too cut my hair off during my pregnancy with my daughter because I was to sick to care for it. I kept it short cause it takes it 4 hours to dry naturally and my mental health declined while going to school work and taking care if my family. No shame! We all go through this!

Would you consider doing a video about your vision of hijab ? Already, the tiny piece of information you gave was very interesting. Hearing other visions about the role that this covering could be playing in Islam would be very enlightening. Very good video as always 👍

@ladylina1211

Жыл бұрын

Agreed, I understand the point about us being taught that we only do it for the opposite sex, however it is sometimes deeper than that and other times not & just purely for modest and dignified reasons. However, once you get married, you start to see hijab from a different perspective such as a contribution to the shared faith in marriage, representing and exemplifying Islam to your children etc

@LoveLove-ev1cm

Жыл бұрын

It’s for protection from the unseen world as well, I think socially , modesty might help reduce materialism , body dysmorphia, adultery , jealousy, and may help focus on more important things than looks, in terms of long term benefits

You are hilarious 😂

Hair has so much symbolism! My birthmom never took care of my hair so she would cut it short . So I grew it out to midback long as away to reclaim my desire to have long hair and I learned how to style it straight or scrunched and it was healthy. When I went through a breakup I cut it off to a stackedbob people didnt recognize me and they were in shock like I had lost it(mentally unstable) but I never felt so free!. Husband convinced me to grow it out while living here in the midwest . But I've been highly stressed while doing school while working and raising a family so I've kept it super short in a pixi-bob. Now Im not as stressed its almost midneck. I know in many cultures like the oldschool russian and slavic countries married women wear head coverings . women back in medieval times wore caps triagle scaves etc braided and up to keep their hair clean , keep it from getting dirt on it and as staus symbols. I wear head wraps to cover my head when its wet and i havent had time to dry it , to cover dirty hair and to keep it out of my face as I clean the house. I think the main focus should be loving each other and not judging for how to care for ones hair. In fact one muslim woman said she cant find any reason in the Koran for wearing a head covering but when she goes to muslim countries she covers her head so she wont be persecuted and thats its a cultural thing not realy based on religious teaching but has been turned into a religious belief and if the middle east archogical sites werent bombed there would be more historical evidence of this being the case

I started greying around 14/15 I’m just 21 now and I carry auburn eyeshadow everywhere and spray because I am so entirely embarrassed still that I am 21 with stark white hairs around my hairline. I hope soon more women talk about greying early.

Here's the thing, from my point of view: when I'm interacting with someone, I really don't care about their hair. Specifically, I mean that I don't judge or make assumptions about the person based on their hair. So for me, that's where my "What's the big deal?" comes from. I fully respect and support everyone's decisions about their own hair. What I don't respect is when someone judges another for their hair. Personally, I think it's all beautiful: covered, not covered, natural, straightened, colored, whatever. But most importantly, it's not my business what others choose for themselves. I mean the amount of time and energy people waste worrying (or doing worse) about other people's hair - sheesh! - don't they have more important stuff in their lives to worry about?

Lovely topic

Tasneem, where did you get those paintings/posters framed ? Did you buy the frame online or is there a like a store (nationwide chain) that offers framing?

I grew up in the United States, so in that culture I have the kind of hair color and texture that always made it clear to me, from the time it grew in, that Hair Is Everything. My hair has been a topic of conversation for (it felt like) everyone else in the world who wanted entree into my life. Strangers have reached out to touch it. Hairdressers have refused to dye it, people I barely knew begged me not to cut it. Doctors have informed me of the science behind it, and how that might affect procedures I would need. People have latched onto it as the most obvious visual marker I have and used to to classify me, always: because of my hair they think I'm this sort of person, or that sort of person, and it's only until they get to know me that they realize how much it influenced their thinking. People always, always describe me from the hair down. And for the most part, this has been complimentary, which is why I know that this might read like I'm bragging. But even when it's mostly complimentary, it is overwhelming. It really came home for me when someone talked about what you did, as in the singularity of how we grow our hair compared to other mammals, but they put it as: hair is the human version of a "display organ," like a peacock's tail or a bight red belly on a frog. We think it says things, without even putting that thinking into words: about us, about other people, about their intentions or personality. Even aside from the biology we can't control, we use it to communicate so much visually. It's amazing how infrequently we admit that.

3:48 I'm guessing that is WHY hair is significant across all these different areas. 1) Hair is a significant part of your appearance 2) There are no financial barriers to modification. Cutting/styling/braiding/covering is free & always has been 3) Authoritarian cultures hate personal choice & basically all (if not all) cultures were authoritarian until the enlightenment 4) Bodily autonomy largely doesn't exist without modern medicine. Except for hair. So my thesis would be: "All cultures use to be authoritarian and sought to regulate every aspect of a person's life. Meaning was attached to hair to justify its regulation"

"Hair is everything. We wish it wasn’t so we could actually think about something else occasionally. But it is. It’s the difference between a good day and a bad day. We’re meant to think that it’s a symbol of power, that it’s a symbol of fertility. Some people are exploited for it and it pays your fucking bills. HAIR. IS. EVERYTHING, ANTONY!"~ iykyk

My hair was my best feature but I started losing my hair after the age of 20 and I’m 24 it’s getting worse by the day and I have done everything to stop it from shedding spent $1000s and still spending! I pray everyday that I get it back and inshallah one day something will trigger it and it comes back because it’s been really really hard

@Ssookawai

Жыл бұрын

Did you see an endocrinologist? Maybe it's a hormonal issue. There's a book that you can read about hormonal issues that women face, by dr Amy Shah "I'm so effin tired".

@jaleesa00

Жыл бұрын

Wild growth hair oil like 10$ on Amazon and hair care beauty tips from the African community on yt has helped me

@ah5721

Жыл бұрын

Have you tried eating bone broth and collagen? It also could be hormones

@jayjaytr1849

Жыл бұрын

@@ah5721 collage i been taking lately and it has helped but what is bone broth?

“Cover you’re head, protect your crown.🦋”

I think you're right on all counts. But I still don't get why. And I hate that people feel free to comment on it. I'm in my 70s and let my hair go white, because it's really a nice silver color. They say Irish have the best white hair. It's the only beauty I have left. Everything else has either fallen or disappeared or is surgically missing. I don''t even feel female anymore. Technically, I'm not. I'm not covering my hair anymore. And Islamically-technically I-- don't HAVE to. Besides that, I got a severe vitamin D deficiency. So there. Call me Kaffir, but I don't care.

@tara_madigan

Жыл бұрын

You have a lot more beauty left. True beauty is found within but it also shines through ❤️. From one Irish human to another ☺️☘️

@HitherandYarn

Жыл бұрын

@@tara_madigan

@HitherandYarn

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Tara. You're a lovely Irish human. 🍀🍀🍀

@moroccangardens5170

Жыл бұрын

Females are always female, its a constant state of being. Pretty sure everyone in the northern hemisphere has a vitamin d deficiency regardless of hijab.

@HitherandYarn

Жыл бұрын

@@moroccangardens5170 wait until your body parts get absorbed into the body after menopause - if you should be so unlucky as to have that happen to you. And, no, after I took off hijab my deficiency went away and stayed away.

I have a lot to say. BUT the biggest thing I learned about how people have nice hair while I used to run around with poofie hair and un manageable hair is that they had used dry shampoo to make it look nice.

I think sun exposure to the scalp plays a big role in hair going gray. The UV rays damage the DNA in the follicles which form the hair. It's similar to the way that sun exposure ages the skin. My mom went gray early and it started along her partline where the hair was most exposed. I usually find grays popping up in the fall, following a summer of higher sun exposure, Perhaps your mother went gray later because she always covered more of her hair? Also, the SPF of fabrics varies a lot.

thats why i cried bloody murder when i was forced to wear the hijab as an insecure teen with horrible body image issues the onky thing i ever liked abt myself was my hair ive always got compliments on how long it was in my country algeria being white and having blonde hair or looking eastern European is the beauty standard so having long dirty blonde hair was the only thing that made me beautiful it was also a blanket of comfort id play with my hair in class or hide behind my bangs from other people i learned how to style it to frame my face to look and appear slimmer i grew it out like it was my child and here comes my family forcing hijab on to me on my high school years years that i thought id have the most fun in and explore and learn abt myself some muslim men would come and say "oh its mandatory! and youre being dramatic! you want to be preety for men!" but its more than that to me my hair was my identity to the point that the 2 first years i was forced into wearing it i turned from being a social butterfly someone how is outspoken and loved to sing to a su"idal outcast i felt so gross and like i didnt recognize myself in the mirror i developed social anxiety i couldn't speak properly i hated everyone especially girls my age how werent forced to wear hijab or ugly baggy clothes that made me feel even more fat it ruined my life people say hijab is a blessing and i say to you but not to me if i could take it off without punishment from my lord i would but i cant even though if i dont want to wear it anymore ive found ways to love myself again still working on my speech thoe and feeling like myself while wearing it i started wearing makeup and looking like the image i have in my brain of myself stsrted working out lost a bit of weight and figured out how to manoeuvre around my clothes and balance theme out hair is more then hair its literally your identity update: as if my life couldn't idk get more stressfull more fuked more hard to live i got home to find out all my makeup that i saved MONTHS FOR to get and was the only thing keeping me from offing myself is gone correction trashed by my older brother hes not my brother i dont have a family i hate every single one of them and this religion and this culture and this body and being a female god just take me rn idgf anymore im done done i cant face the world without makeup ill become that white peace of paper again i cant i cant i feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest too much for praying for their good health abd success and for finally getting my life together im tired im tired this isnt the only thing i want to dig a knife sl deep into my stomach and do it in front of all of them i want to traumatize them half as much as they did to me they ruined me them and this stupid life i wish i was a man they say im a woman but i shouldn't dare sound or act or look like one fuck this existence dude im tired god why do u hate me sm? what did i do to deserve this

@ameenaahmad1028

Жыл бұрын

May Allah make it easy for you my dear sister aameen. Don't forget how beautiful you are when you wear the hijab for the sake of Allah. I know it's hard I am 17 and don't get any attention from boys and that but don't worry cos in Shaa Allah the true men will see how beautiful you are

@cheti8720

Жыл бұрын

Yeah sucks when people kinda force/pressured you into it. I got pressured too initially, and would only wear it when I'm with them so not to upset them. Eventually I wore it on my own, but still detest people forcing other people, it makes the practice insincere, like people wearing for the sake of human and not Allah. I hope you find peace in your journey. Maybe experiment with different style. There is societal issue, and issue with self. Societal being people judging other people by certain beauty standard, self being needing to understand that dunya is this way, a place of test. Goodluck ❤

I've been subscribed to you for so long. Don't tell me your 31 cuz then it reminds me how old I am lol

I'm also 31, and yes I have white hair too. And my mom said the same thing.

if a man is distracted by hair that is his problem

@ah5721

Жыл бұрын

And it's his responsibility to control himself!

Im glad you discovered. And while i dont understand why you cover it up, its ok because its your body and you dont own anyone an explanation. Besides, we wont ever be able to understand everyones point of view. So its ok to sometimes not understand

Your video made everything make sense lol. I cover my hair by choice and yet can never be free without speculation that I am Muslim or have cancer. I am neither, I simply like having my hair covered, its more comfortable and me

It's sad how alopecia areata is rarely mentioned in media. As a woman, if you're bald, you're very unlikely to do well in job interviews and dating apps.

Interesting video thank you, must ask 05.44 how about protection from djinn?

As a disabled person….fuck hair is such a big thing. For the magoritiy of my lfie(yes, including mh childhood) my hair was washed and brushed….not that much, to put it nicly. It got ot a point to whenever I DID wash and brush my hair one day, people would literally pull me aside and gawk at my hair and ask what I did to it, probably expecting some sort of mirical technique. But no. I brushed it and washed it. That’s how little my hair was taken care of. )Also this isn’t bc of neglect. I am extremely touch sensitive and whenever my mom would try do to anything to my hair, immediate meltdown. From the sounds I was making you would have thought I was going through medieval torchure. It also didn’t help thst my mom needed to work all the time and my dad well, he was hopless and abusive in his own right.) My hair has a lot of natural body and volume to it and it’s jsut wavy enough to get all tangled in knots lol. I remember allllll the times my mom would tell me how many celebrities spend so much money jsut ot have my hair type, and I was always confused bc I would kill for hair that wasnt curly at all(again, so so many knots from the waves). I always had this voise in the back of my mind that if I just “tried harder” my hair would look beituful. And the bare minimum of washing my hair every 3 days is basically impossible for me still. Pretty much every time I looked in the mirror, I didn’t just see myself.I saw me “invisible” disabliies through my hair. It was(and is) a birds nest covered in dandruff with scabs all over my scalp. Throughout my life my hair as always been wearing me instead of me wearing my hair. I’ve never noticed this before until now but, I’m always obsessively asking myself *when am I going to wash my hair, when am I going to wash my hair, WHEN AM I GOING TO WASH MY HAIR* because it’s always on the forefront of my mind. Anyways idk how to conclude this I just wanted to share my experiences I

Hair has always been everything and yet we all act as if it was something fickle we shouldn't focus on

Hair IS everything. I've been losing mine for 3 years. I'm only 30 😭😭

People saying "she's more beautiful with hijab" are lying, it's a cultural way to encourage women and girls to wear it. When I put on a hijab to pray family members or in laws will tell me that I look beautiful and should start wearing it

As a Jewish man and as a trans person my hair is extremely important to me and has been oddly controversial. I don't cut my hair aside from a trim as one of the rules of my religion I follow is avoiding cutting some parts of your hair. And out of style preference I just keep it all long as the text is kinda vague anyway hence why some men do feel comfortable cutting and shaving all their hair. But with being trans I was repeatedly told in the beginning of my transition no one would take me seriously if I don't cut it rather short. That it's feminine to have long hair and if I won't look more male why not just say I'm non-binary. Well I'm not non-binary and I don't see how wearing my hair long changes my gender when cis men can grow long hair. Also the comments from some other trans people at the time were rare but were political, that I was a bad look for the community because of how I look. That people would think I'm a trans trender and hate trans people more if I said the wrong thing. Even though not many people had those views it made me feel so aliensted and lead to me isolating myself from the community for years out of fear or rejection. Thankfully I have not gotten such comments in years but I didn't realize how traumatized I was until speaking with a friend about hair. And I just broke down crying when speaking about my own. How going to get my hair done is so scary because I don't want the barber to question why I want little removed and don't want the sides trimmed, or worse they notice I'm trans and question why I don't try something shorter, more manly. I eventually started letting my closest friend cut my hair as he is Muslim and understands how this isn't "just hair" to me from his and his loved ones own complex experiences on. He is visually handicapped so did a terrible job but him having a respectful understanding of my anxiety around too much or the wrong spots being cut made me feel safe. Was quite a nice social experience and rather intimate, he has moved back to south Asia so I just cut it myself now.