I’m 34 and have an 8.5 yr old from my first marriage and now expecting with my current partner. I would like to throw into the conversation that people often only imagine a healthy child, and you touched on it a little but my 8yr old is disabled, he has severe special needs, he will live with us for his entire life, his entire life has been hundreds of hospital apts, operations, so much stress. He is a very happy child but it was the opposite journey of motherhood that an what I imagined. I always tell people to imagine a case like mine or harder when contemplating children as you never know what will happen. I can only add that with children your best days are 1000% better but your worse days are 1000% worse xxx

@Esh486

4 ай бұрын

so important to think about!

I very rarely comment, but had to express my love for how honest, open and real you are with your videos, especially on topics like this that i feel women have more of an expectation on them to have children as the next step of a relationship or getting older, rather than it being a choice and a discussion which is different for every couple. I am turning 31 this year and also in the same boat of being unsure. I am completely happy being childfree now, but there is so much unknown and 'what ifs' I worry about finances, about health, about being a good parent/mentor, about losing my time for myself. I struggle going back and forth of whatever my decision is could be right for me now but the wrong one further down the line when it's too late to change anything. Would love to see an update after you have both made your choice to see ways that helped you come to your decision in the end. ❤

Ahh I’ve been excited for this video since you said a while back that you’d be looking at your health & fertility. This video was so so good. I’ve always been certain about wanting children but I knew I’d have a few struggles thanks to pcos, but I just find it all so interesting - particularly seeing other people’s experiences. It’s wild to me that a lot of the things we learn about our menstrual health and fertility isn’t taught to us, yet it can be such a rollercoaster trying to figure it all out! I’ve learnt so much about my cycles since trying for a baby and I feel so empowered now that I know what my body is doing. Looking forward to seeing your upcoming videos on this topic!! ❤

Really enjoyed this video and thank you for talking about this. Was always something I thought about and wanted to look into, and its nice to see someone to talk about this! x

Hey lovely, thanks so much for sharing this. I’m 33 next week and was also diagnosed with PCO a few years ago but subsequent blood tests did not indicate PCOS. I’ve felt unsure about starting a family but have been actively trying for around 6 months without success. Fertility is something I’ve felt very nervous about and it’s hard to discuss openly with others, especially when the majority of my friends have already had children easily. Will look forward to keeping up with your journey xxx

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Lots of love to you and thank you for sharing! I have my fingers crossed that it happens for you soon!?

I am 36 and debated kids for YEARS. Finally decided on childfree and haven't looked back. Life has opened up so many potential and real possibilities. It's not for everyone but if it isnt an absolute "yes" I would say deep down MAYBE you know it's a no?? For me it was fear of the unknown holding me back from being childfree. Once I let go of that fear the choice was easy. Best of luck!!! ❤

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

I love this comment so much. Thank you

Whilst watching, there was so many clips, I wish I could reach through and offer you a hug. I think you're amazing for documenting this. I'm 28 and single, and I have started thinking of what my future may look like regarding having children so this is so interesting to me! Thank you!

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for this lovely message! I really appreciate it. I was definitely thinking about it a lot whilst 28 and single too!!

Thank you for sharing to help with similar circumstances and questions that I have.

Really appreciate this honest and open review ❤️ I’m coming up to a similar age and having similar thoughts.

You've had a lot of great comments, more swaying away from kids i would say which is fair. For me i think if youre waiting for an overwhelming feeling of 'yes i want kids, im ready' that never came for me lol never particularly maternal, dont really like children or enjoy spending time with them. I would however think to my future and what i wanted was a family, what you have now really. People to eat dinner around the table with, family walks etc etc it made me realise that i was focussing on the small child phase, the disruptive loud sleepless tantrum life changing phase! Your child will 'hopefully' live until 80+ years old even if i dont enjoy or find the first 10-15 years hard and selfless i have so many more years yo enjoy them! You jave a great relationship with your mum and dad it seems and thats from having kids. Just another take on things.

As someone who is 38 & childfree and in a happy strong relationship I just wanted to comment, especially after seeing judgy comments from other people Firstly - I can only comment on being childfree as that's my perspective and reality and would like to say that anyone who has children cannot comment on being childfree cause as soon as you have a child you can't know what it's like to be childfree anymore, it's not the same When my partner and I decided to not have kids we found it really freeing, for us we get to spend our time with each other, our loved ones and I am surrounded by my friends kids who I love so much. My cup gets filled with love from so many places and I am a supportive friend and aunt to all! When people say 'you will never know love until you have a child' I say LIES - how can anyone say that without knowing how it is for me to love? Good luck on your journey, whichever path you go down is the right path for you!

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

I really love this comment. I always feel a bit looked down upon by people who have children like I’m inferior because I haven’t experienced that love you get from your children, so I really appreciate this comment!!

@allie1914

4 ай бұрын

As someone who has a child I also hate when people say you will never know love until you have a child It’s so fucking patronising I love my son so much but I also knew love before he was born Personally I think the love a parent has for their child is the only truly ‘unconditional’ love (because l think any other love should be conditional - including with friend partners and a love child has for their parents) so the love I feel for my son is a different kind of love but to say you don’t know what love is unless you have kids is absolute bullshit

@gemmasaunders6459

4 ай бұрын

@@katesnooks I’m so glad you appreciate it, I know I appreciated positive experiences from both sides - I am lucky I am surrounded by childless friends and friends with kids and they all give such a perspective and are non judgement on my choice the same way I am with theirs. World is full of different structures and what we define family. You don’t have to answer to anyone, I don’t ask people why they decided to have children, non of my bees wax :)

@sian9571

4 ай бұрын

@@katesnooksI totally feel looked down on by all of my friends that have kids - I’m sort of made to feel like the joke friend - the one who doesn’t have their life together. It’s frustrating because I did want kids but can’t have them… I was diagnosed with a condition called Premature Ovarian Insufficiency when I was 27… we’d actually been trying but it turns out it wasn’t going to happen without intervention and donor eggs etc. This isn’t an option that either of us wanted to consider, it just wasn’t for us. It was a really really rough time for us but now having come out of the other side nearly 5 years later, I actually love my child-free life. I just wish my friends would see it as a valid lifestyle! Hey ho, my dog is epic! 😂

Thank you for sharing this, Katie! Thankful for your openness - I've often wondered about these things. Would be interested to hear more about the advice you were given regarding nutrition :)

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Thanks lovely

Thank you so much for sharing Katie, and this was a fantastically edited video, so easy to get an idea of the process thank you for showcasing it. Best of luck to you in whichever journey you decide 💜 I'm curious about how they are able to know how many eggs you have just from a blood test, did they explain this?

Thankyou for sharing katie ❤ im 30 this year and have no idea if i want children. I also share some of your symptoms so ive found this really interesting and i love that you can do it at home in your own space

Such a helpful and in depth video xx

Omg a baby snooks would be so adorable! ❤

This is so interesting I'm also 35 and we are going to try this year. I am considering using hertility it looks like you were given a good explanation from the doctor.

Loved this video, really informative 👌🏼

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Thank you lovely

Wow thanks for sharing, this came up on my homepage and I’m in a very similar situation and age gap with my husband. It plays on my mind daily ❤

I do think this is a good starting point for anyone that is curious about their fertility, however its worth being mindful it doesn't rule everything out,.a few years back now I had an internal ultra sound for another issue not to do with fertility and found out I had a wall in my womb which could mean that I either may not be able to get pregnant at all or if I was to get pregnant the baby may not have the room to grow. None of which would have been affect by hormonal levels ect.

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Definitely true - this is just a first step in getting it tested and because of some of my results I was told I needed scans to completely rule out ovarian cysts! Xxx

This was such an interesting video and as a result, I'm going to do my own test with them. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this with us ❤ I'm a 41 year old, mum of one but have had an ectopic pregnancy and multiple miscarriages in the past. I've met my person later in life after these and we are having discussions about potentially having a baby together. I think this would be so interesting for me to see if it would even be possible and may explain other hormonal issues. Really appreciate your honesty, good luck to you and G on whatever comes next for you both on this journey ❤ So much love xxxx

Thanks for sharing. If you decide to go for children I would say be mindful that you can have completely normal hormone results and still struggle to conceive or have unexplained fertility. If this is the case for treatment on the NHS they usually have an age threshold of 35-36 depending on where you live. It can take a while for all tests to be completed too. This is my experience of trying to conceive for 3 years. Just worth going in with that in mind in case you encounter issues xxx

This is very helpful! Very thorough information indeed! Thank you very much!!! ❤🎉😍

I’m very much in the same position turning 35. Kids is not something I’ve ever been fussed about and I wonder if you’re similar to me in terms of your emetophobia but I’m terrified of the sickness part of having children and feel like I’d have to leave my partner to deal with a sick child it’s that bad. I know it would be such a small part of having a child but irrationally something I stress most about. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Its great to be open about things like this ❤

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Yes this is definitely a big part of it - the morning sickness and then the constant sick bugs from children (and then when they start drinking in teenage years scares the death out of me). Lots of love to you

@amyidem2096

4 ай бұрын

I have children and I'm Emetophobic and I will say it is really hard. I can't comfort my children when they're sick because I'm too scared and when there's any hint of a sick bug going round I'm anxious for weeks. I also worry about having their friends over incase they are sick etc. Love to you both!

@annaw9687

4 ай бұрын

Same for me. It’s not the main reason I don’t want children but it definitely helps my decision!

Thank you for sharing this! I'm turning 29 and know that I want children, I'd be interested in seeing where I'm at with my fertility. Will give Hertility a go for sure x

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing!! I hope it helps you too xxx

Hey Katie! Regarding the topic of pcos: my obgyn professor in med school told us the following: if women start on the pill quite early, the ovaries are kind of „frozen“ (sorry, english isn‘t my first language 😅) in a state that later on can look a lot like pcos. Thats also part of the reason why a lot of women don’t have a regular cycle right after getting of the pill. So maybe it is the same in your case.

Thanks Katie this was super interesting! I'm 29 this year and unsure whether I want to have children.

Thank you for sharing this x

As someone who has gone through IVF and now has a 10 month old, I completely agree with the fact you have to know whether you want them. I just couldn’t imagine not being a mother. It’s not easy and I am finding this stage hard but I am in the early days ☺️ You also expect other mothers to be supportive in decisions but I find things quite the opposite unfortunately! You really have to work as a team with your partner.

I found this fascinating but I would be really interested to have this compared with what you get from a proper medical consultation for the additional cost. What support do you get for abnormal results for example? Really fascinating but I guess I just have some concerns about lots being sold to people who can get some of this info for free via their gp. Thank you ❤

Really helpful video - thank you so much. Was the consultation call included in the £149 price ?

@katesnooks

2 ай бұрын

It was an added cost! £35 if I remember correctly

Thank you for sharing, it does help a lot to see other women go through the things must of us go through, love your videos

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Thanks lovely

I found this fascinating but I would be really interested to have this compared with what you get from a proper medical consultation for the additional cost. What support do you get for abnormal results for example? Really fascinating but I guess I just have some concerns about lots being sold to people who can either get some of this info for free via their gp.

Thank you for sharing this Katie! Did it cost extra to have the consultation with your results? X

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Hello! Yes I showed when I placed my order that it was an extra £39

Absolute respect for you sharing this process! I respect everyone's decision, but I see a lot of comments on this from those who are childfree sharing their 'negative' perceived perspective of having children. I have a 7 month old and I will be the first to say it's not easy (so many things I didn't expect, mainly postpartum MH) but bringing my son into the world is hands down the BEST thing I've ever done in my life. I've never been around kids much, not the typical 'maternal' person, always been more driven by career (you can absolutely have both btw), but the love I have for my son is like nothing else. I could never describe how much love I feel for him. I could never describe how it feels to see your best friend become a parent (my husband). Absolutely not the right decision for everyone, but I feel it's quite rich for people without children to be saying negative things about having children when these are all just things they've heard/been told about.

Can you film a video having a conversation with your sister who has kids? Would be interesting to hear how that informs your decision

This was so interesting to watch. Thanks for sharing and being honest. I also recently watched Victoria from Inthefrow talk about her decision to be child free. Honestly it's so scary to me to bring children into this crazy world. And with the amount of true crime videos and podcasts I watch, that's definitely not helping. 😂 The thought of having teenagers also scares me to no end, especially when I think about everything I and people I know went through as teens and our parents had no idea.

I attempted the test this morning but it was impossible for me to fill the tube. I could barely manage the half way line! 😩

She’s spot on too on quality. The biggest factor is age!

Thank you so much for sharing this with us - as someone who’s also unsure, this was a really insightful vid! Have you heard of a book called ‘No One Talks About This Stuff’ by Kat Brown? It apparently shares 22 stories of ‘almost parenthood’ and I’ve pre-ordered it to see if it sways my decision at all x

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

I haven’t heard of this but will add to my list! Sounds fab

Firstly love your plan for the year, so type a. Second I wouldn’t hang too much on your results as I know people with perfect results that have struggled for years and women with not so great results that have had no problems. Third- your only half the equation, to get a full picture of your fertility you need g tested. Again got loads of friends blaming themselves and it’s their partner with no, low, dodgy shaped, swimming wrong way sperm. It’s worth saying all my tests like this have always come back fine but I’m in a very small group of people that have recurrent miscarriage due to a very rare condition. I would say if you think you want kids just go for it and don’t think too much about timing but if your not sure I think it’s defs worth taking the time to decide like your doing

@stefmagnolia1543

4 ай бұрын

agree on that. both (G should get a test too :)) have really good results with many testings - we did even a HyCoSy - we are both 35 - but it didn’t happened so far .. over ten months now.. but having good test result is quiet a good start of course

Your testosterone level is on the high side, which indicates acne, hair growth etc and also insulin resistance - myo inositol or metformin would benefit you.

Thank you for sharing this journey it’s a company I have considered using as I just turned 35 my husband is 42 and this is our decision year as well. I’ve been on the fence about using hertility but loved the explanation of the process and definitely will look back into it.

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Glad I could be of some help!

I wish I had a strong pull either way.. I am so on the fence which feels really scary. x

@zincwell6503

4 ай бұрын

Me too on the fence, am leaning more towards no kids but am not sure.

I’m 36 and wanted kids when I was younger but my partner didn’t, the older I got the less I wanted them. I didn’t want to have kids with anyone else so the decision was kind of made for me, but I think I’ve finally come to realise I don’t think I could handle being a parent. I also don’t think I’d feel right bringing a child into the mess of the world and I can’t offer them everything I’d want a child to have. I don’t have my own home, I don’t drive, I’m financially ok but if I had a child I’d be unstable financially.

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

I can relate to this so much! I wanted children when I was younger but I think that was more because I thought that was the I had to do rather than what I actually wanted. Lots of love to gou

Totally off topic but I had no idea G was in his 40s I thought he was the same age as you - he looks so much younger than he is!

My amh hormone was High but easily lowered it any got pregnant. Plenty of people have normal hormones buy struggle with getting pregnant. Please be completely informed.

What if you start this journey and you and G come to different decisions? I think if you do want kids you both need to 100% be committed and on the same page, otherwise can lead to resentment further down the line..

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Great question!! I completely agree and that’s why we discuss it all the time. We’re both in the category of - if you want a child let’s do it, but so far neither of us have been sure enough!!

I've really enjoyed your video and your openness on this topic. It means immensely to question, to challenge how people live their lives 'by default', owning your decisions, your path and your everyday. Objectively speaking, having children is the most selfish thing you can do. The world is overpopulated, straining natural resourcing, it's the worst thing that you can do for the world around you. Yet people have children because they 'want' them. But why? What experience are you seeking? Is this truly the best way to get it considering the environmental consequences, the impact on personal finances and the ownership over your own life. This is severely missing from the discussion - why people even want children.

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for this comment!! Lots of great things to think about here and also a topic my friends and I talk about all the time!!

I’m 27, I’ve never wanted children and I really can’t imagine I ever will. For me, if becoming a parent isn’t 100% yes, it’s 100% no. It’s such a major life change, a huge responsibility and children deserve to be truly wanted. It’s not something to take a chance on when you’re not sure in my opinion.

My advice is : if you think you might …then you do….I had my daughter at 41 after 6 miscarriages and ivf. It’s the best thing to ever happen to me….it is very hard and your needs and desires are somewhat absorbed by your child for quite a while. ….if it’s a no…then it’s a great decision for you too….a child DOES NOT make you happy….there are plenty of happy families without children❤

I’m 34 and happily childfree. To me unless you have a real maternal urge, you shouldn’t be having a child. It completely turns your life upside down and I know so many people who say they love their kids but they regret having them. It needs to be something your in 100% xx

@victoriay1713

4 ай бұрын

They add to your life, this is an absolutely selfish and abysmal take.

@victoriay1713

4 ай бұрын

Not to mention the negative impact of not having children.

@Courtneyburns90

4 ай бұрын

@@victoriay1713 having kids just to make you happy or look at you in old is the selfish thing to do. And I mean if you consider lack of sleep, lack of privacy, lack of freedom and lack of money and a ton of added stress and worry fun then go for it.

@FoodieForce

4 ай бұрын

Absolutely but there are more and more of us waiting and waiting. Then the maternal urge does kick in and it has an impact, struggling to conceive, limiting how many you have etc. There is never this perfect time that people assume falls. But absolutely respect those who don’t want to have children.

@kirsty44SUNSETS

4 ай бұрын

That’s great for you. A little different for me - I became pregnant somewhat unexpectedly at 31, in a happy loving long term relationship, but we were still undecided… we had our son five years ago and have since had another and our life is full of fun, chaos, excitement, stress but most of all love. So much love. They are the funniest, most mental wee boys in the world, and becoming parents has brought me and my husband closer together than ever. We’ve weathered post partum anxiety, sleepless nights, exhaustion, and now i know we both feel there’s really nothing we can’t handle as a family. Five years on with two kids, the fog of keeping tiny babies alive has lifted and we are all thriving. All I’m saying is, I didn’t have that “maternal urge” you describe, at least not before number one, and I’m not sure that if I’d waited, it would have appeared. And the thing is, I’m sure our childfree life would have been just as fulfilling and happy (god knows there are lots of sacrifices to be made every single day when you’re mostly living for another person) but I’m very glad this is the path we continued down on. All I would say is that having a baby means the whole axis of your life shifts in service to another. But it’s possible to find a different version of yourself that is just as incredible, confident and worthy. Maybe even moreso.

❤️❤️❤️

I always told myself that if I didn't have children by the time I am 35 I wouldn't want to have any. I don't currently have a Partner and even if I'd meet someone now I would like to live out my relationship first. I have no Problem with my Partner bringing children into the relationship. However, I currently feel that Love has given up on me😢😅

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

Lots of love to you!! Love will come when you least expect it!

Thanks for sharing Katie ❤ I feel exactly the same. In a way I see children in my future but not sure if im ready right now. I am 35 years old too as is my partner so I think I’m going to do the hertility test too to hopefully put my mind at rest incase we do want children

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

This comment is very relatable!! Xx

Lots of child free comments on here but I am a 27 year old mother to two sons under 3 and let me tell you yes it’s a struggle, yes it’s hard at times, yes you have to put your life on hold for them BUT it brings you so much contentment and happiness seeing life through a child’s eyes. Who wants to get to 50 and think god I regret not having kids. The house is empty, just you and your spouse, personally I wouldn’t want that. You wouldn’t ever regret having them, but you might regret NOT having them. You’re choice and I hope you make the one that’s right for you and only you ❤

@annaw9687

4 ай бұрын

I have to disagree, there are plenty of people who have kids and DO regret it. If I don’t have kids and regret it, I’m the only one impacted. If I do have kids and regret it, that’s someone else’s life impacted.

@parissheppard1089

4 ай бұрын

@@annaw9687 Then they don’t deserve to be parents because I’m telling you it’s impossible to regret a child you have grown for 9 months, birthed and nurtured. It’s HARD, yes, but you can’t regret it. I would love to speak to someone who says they regret their children! If you have that maternal instinct before having kids you cannot physically regret having your child. It is impossible, however if you jumped into it thinking the clock is ticking or you feel pressured then possibly because your heart wasn’t in it in the first place

@annaw9687

4 ай бұрын

@@parissheppard1089 that’s the whole point, they shouldn’t be parents! There have been lots of studies into it and there are whole Reddit threads about parents with regret. It’s definitely a phenomenon and would be much higher if people who don’t think they want kids had them.

1 in 4 cases of infertility in the UK are unexplained, these women would of had fine results for all of these tests & more.

@katesnooks

4 ай бұрын

As I said this is a first step in getting my fertility tested (and one currently within my budget) and I’m aware there are more steps you can take!

It’s worth bearing in mind some womens numbers are all good but have trouble conceiving.

I found this fascinating but I would be really interested to have this compared with what you get from a proper medical consultation for the additional cost. What support do you get for abnormal results for example? Really fascinating but I guess I just have some concerns about lots being sold to people who can either get some of this info for free via their gp. Thank you ❤