2 Germans in a bar in London: - 2 Martinis, please. - Dry? - NEIN!! ZWEI!!

@Coyoteyiphowl

4 жыл бұрын

😂

@a.s.cirillo6785

4 жыл бұрын

Der ist gut 😁

@sorenvongruner2592

4 жыл бұрын

XD

@Conrad374

4 жыл бұрын

fuck xD

@jotunheim2080

4 жыл бұрын

Machte meinen Tag! Heil Merkel!

Best German answer to "How are you?" will always be "Oh, you know, one lives."

@Sirvaria

4 жыл бұрын

"And you so?" "Yes it has to"

@11Kralle

4 жыл бұрын

Best german answer to "How are you?" actually is: "I am 27"

@Osprey1994

4 жыл бұрын

I guess I get that from my German dna... People I ask and I say something along those lines usually.

@ancientmingyu0604

4 жыл бұрын

@@Sirvaria So true omg lol

@creepyshadow55

4 жыл бұрын

Ja muss ja, nech

German humour is serious business. It's no laughing matter.

@Pluneto

4 жыл бұрын

Womble!

@ganiniii

4 жыл бұрын

Nah! Germans only laugh when the joke is told in german.

@d4gobertdrug

4 жыл бұрын

@@Pluneto Soviet

@gustavgnoettgen

4 жыл бұрын

Just to be clear: we love humor and we have crazy german names for people who lack humor. #whoooosh #yepIknow

@HesseJamez

4 жыл бұрын

I'm German...but what is humor?

Video with the word „German“ in the title: Germans: *Zugriff!*

@ancientmingyu0604

4 жыл бұрын

True tho 😂😂😂😂

@iLuvHinata360

4 жыл бұрын

Explain please

@Diogenes_ofSinope

4 жыл бұрын

@@iLuvHinata360 Zugriff means something like attack

@kmit9191

4 жыл бұрын

@@iLuvHinata360 It means Access, but in the same context as SWAT would enter a building

@Mastakilla91

4 жыл бұрын

*Einsatz*

I expected the conversation to be: Border agent: Occupation? German: No, just visiting.

@mysterium368

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, very funny.

@lesley5370

4 жыл бұрын

Very good

@gyulap01

4 жыл бұрын

Best joke I have ever heard :D

@Polyglot_English

4 жыл бұрын

It's actually a Russian joke..

@arditamzai136

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah... He's not boarding France.

I don't get why the audience is laughing, he's just stating facts.

@pialestrange5826

4 жыл бұрын

kokopelli0815 Because sometimes even facts can be funny if said the right way. Most comedians work that way.

@HK-cy9jw

4 жыл бұрын

Point of view 😉

@simonalev9333

4 жыл бұрын

To quote Dr. Sheldon Cooper: "It is funny because it's true."

@marcelluswallace4076

4 жыл бұрын

The best comedians tell the truth

@a.thales7641

4 жыл бұрын

German comedy: Stating facts that are so true (sometimes) it's hilarious. Volker Pispers is also quite good. No, one of the best.

I'd laugh at this, but I'm German and we don't laugh

@memyselfandi6184

4 жыл бұрын

HAHAHHAHAHA LMAOO

@Nathan-Croft

4 жыл бұрын

You do a lot

@hgohlke

4 жыл бұрын

Ich gehe zum Lachen in den Keller...

@michaelynedwards1043

4 жыл бұрын

Out loud, scared the dog.

@wardkerr2456

4 жыл бұрын

After watching Vince I can see why.

The best reply you can get from a german to the question "How are you doing?" is: "I can't complain..."

@ancientmingyu0604

4 жыл бұрын

You're lucky when you get that answer tho 😂

@kritti1

4 жыл бұрын

Right, and the regular answer is: "Must" 😁😁😁

@Varus78

4 жыл бұрын

both can be translated to "sucks but i have no choice"

@TheHOINK

4 жыл бұрын

Heinz Erhardt, german Comedian (RIP) "Couldn't complain better"( "Könnt nicht besser klagen!" )

@DieFlabbergast

4 жыл бұрын

That's a VERY common response in Britain.

as a german i breathed out hardly at every joke

@philipplawrenz4258

4 жыл бұрын

Lülülü

@Marco-jn7ws

4 жыл бұрын

Ju cannot schdreaem in mei schdreem

@angrymario8259

4 жыл бұрын

Meddle guys

@f.s.1400

4 жыл бұрын

Guy i can hear you not

@alexandergoldnatznworeptil9652

4 жыл бұрын

Gib a ruh!

Genug gelacht. Nun zurück an die Arbeit!

@godSPARDA1995

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@richtigerfeger

4 жыл бұрын

@Damn Immer diese Animeprofilbilder, die nicht arbeiten gehen. Alles faule Säcke!

@cancanoo2678

4 жыл бұрын

So, genug Schabernack!

@daxasd3270

4 жыл бұрын

@@cancanoo2678 quality reference ;DDD

@bb9965

4 жыл бұрын

Perfekter Kommentar

reminds me of this one: How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and don't have humour.

@beeteka5798

4 жыл бұрын

Das ist lustig, weil es stimmt. 😁

@evelyngiselahunsicker9861

4 жыл бұрын

No, you need 6 persons to change the light bulbs. One who holds the bulb in his hand. The other fife lift him up and turn him around until the bulb is inside.

@fleischliebe430

4 жыл бұрын

@@evelyngiselahunsicker9861 no funny.

@evelyngiselahunsicker9861

4 жыл бұрын

@@fleischliebe430 Take it easy. That's German humour.

@user-vq2de7lj3w

4 жыл бұрын

Efficient my ass, your bureaucracy is one of the world wonders, man I never saw slower and dumber then your government, love Germany tho, nice people just not efficient

We Germans don‘t get depressed, because what‘s the point?

@DavidLangeYU91

4 жыл бұрын

If you don't get your Reiserücktrittversicherung

@prashantnittala2864

4 жыл бұрын

😆😆😆😆😆😆

@a.b461

4 жыл бұрын

Also ich schon

@saraspence3829

4 жыл бұрын

johnburgh hahahahaha!!

@kosmaslemo

4 жыл бұрын

No no no.. you ask that, then get depressed

**slightly laughing in German**

@DuesseldorferJung1

4 жыл бұрын

*exhaling through the nose stronger than usual*

@1337fraggzb00N

4 жыл бұрын

@@DuesseldorferJung1 but only in ze Keller, because ze neighbors could hear it.

@1337fraggzb00N

4 жыл бұрын

@Skeptical Slim we have. Just take a look at Claudia Roth or Angela Merkel - after years of selective breeding, German scientists finally made some overly engineered humorous hardware that is unmatched. Quite a struggle to maintain them, but totally worth it. They're like Trumps with tits.

@1337fraggzb00N

4 жыл бұрын

@Skeptical Slim ja.

@HannyDart

4 жыл бұрын

hellau mai tscherman frend!

I did not know that the germans have humor *laughs in austrian*

@alexanderlipowsky6055

4 жыл бұрын

They dont you can see it in the background, looks like a cellar.

4 жыл бұрын

There's no thing as Austrian that could laugh in unless there's a special way only Austrians laugh in.Its like saying *laughs in Prussian*.

@moritzk3004

4 жыл бұрын

@ ok boomer... That's a freakin meme, of you dont get it than dont respond to it!

@kinngrimm

4 жыл бұрын

we don't, we are just funny by nature

@GabeHCoud-tc7jc

4 жыл бұрын

:- D *laughs in cangaroo*

A German compliment sounds like this (and I quote my brother): "You look fat in that dress, but great dress!!!"

@micheleuchler911

4 жыл бұрын

Only if you dont wanna continue living

@carlottaventi9556

4 жыл бұрын

Well that´s nice too. :)

@frankyeichler3303

4 жыл бұрын

I do in fact look fat in that dress. Liegst richtig

@klarabergmann6705

4 жыл бұрын

How i tell my brother i love him : hey fatty just wanted to remind you you are fat :)

@kritti1

4 жыл бұрын

Right, and another one is this: "Your dress looks disgusting, but it suits you well" 😁

"It's a Porsche!" "Which model?" "911" That's how you close a comedy show in Murica!

@TotalRookie_LV

4 жыл бұрын

With a blast

@Osprey1994

4 жыл бұрын

Mhm...

@Osprey1994

4 жыл бұрын

It's funny within the context of the joke but not when you randomly post it in the comments looking for likes.

@donedeal725

4 жыл бұрын

Whatever you do, don't imply Mossad had something to do with that... Stick to the official story. The Arabs did it.

@KenshinLoL

4 жыл бұрын

Fun fact the porsche 911 is actually fkin nuts. Best Porsche there is. Fite me.

Germany - The only country to have a science comedian.

@CRYOKnox

4 жыл бұрын

Actually we have more than one...

@burtturdison4445

4 жыл бұрын

Found the German!

@CRYOKnox

4 жыл бұрын

@@burtturdison4445 not that difficult if i talk about we in reference to Germany. ;)

@jessminn

4 жыл бұрын

Actually... we even have sience slams. It's a thing.

@richtigersoan

4 жыл бұрын

Physicist comedian is also a thing...

Things not to say in america: "I flew into NY"

@Ggggggggg631

4 жыл бұрын

Mabus things* flew*

@mabus4910

4 жыл бұрын

@@Ggggggggg631 thx

@volkerwendt3061

4 жыл бұрын

But still you didn't correct to *things:)

@Ggggggggg631

4 жыл бұрын

Volker Wendt correct the* things

@mabus4910

4 жыл бұрын

@@Ggggggggg631 I hope we are good now.

Oh too true! Lol! 😂4:15 - "If Germans had ruled the world a million years ago our health and safety commission would have prevented the discovery of fire."

@eleasar2181

4 жыл бұрын

Have you ever been to the UK tho? Their health&safety rules are even worse than germany's. I just couldn't belive that you have to be 21 and get your id checked to buy scissors there but it's true. Like you can drive a car, have an appartment but you can't buy scissors.. 😂

@Xianne027

4 жыл бұрын

@@eleasar2181 Really? Yeah, that does sound crazy. Lol! 😂 So until the age of 21 you can just get blunt tip kiddie scissors? 😂

@serfandterf

4 жыл бұрын

That was the best line of the set

@Keallei

4 жыл бұрын

Omg I laughed so hard at this. Thank you.

@PhoenixClank

4 жыл бұрын

Brandschutzvorschriften, amirite?

It's so weird, it's hilarious but also completely accurate

@sonja9813

4 жыл бұрын

Humor is always exaggerated truth :)

@michaelibrahim9275

4 жыл бұрын

There’s a reason for the saying “It’s funny because it’s true”

@thurin84

2 жыл бұрын

thats the best kind of humor.

I have observed: The corner of my mouth was angled upwards twice (by 3-4 millimeters) and once downwards (by 2-3 millimeters). So that must have been a good comedian!

@thedailychailatte

3 жыл бұрын

Are you a german 😁

@inconnu4961

3 жыл бұрын

@@thedailychailatte Nah, I think he's russian! Those germans are STILL trying to screw in that lightbulb!

"Reiserücktrittsversicherung" is not bad when you booked your Holiday Trip one year before!😆

@Quantum-Bullet

4 жыл бұрын

Klara P. still German population had to pay millions after the Thomas Cook fail.

@ducklingscap897

4 жыл бұрын

QuantumBullet ✔️ Because the insurance is not mandatory and it doesn’t help in this case. It only works when you can’t go/have to return because of personal reasons like sickness, death of a family member etc. Thomas Cook being bankrupt is not a personal reason of the vacationer.

@xcver

4 жыл бұрын

@@ducklingscap897 Both of you mix stuff up. Thomas Cook Pauschalreisen were covered by the general insurance for then up to a specified amount which does not suffice. Reiserücktrittsversicherung coveres the traveler for his failings and not the other way around

@ducklingscap897

4 жыл бұрын

xcver What do you mean other way around? I said it only covers the traveller if it is a personal failing.

@sharonefee1426

4 жыл бұрын

A word that long is bad to my eyes.

Couldn't stop laughing. And I'm a German, too. "They don't care, but they do ask." Lovely. You just forgot to mention that a gun ban in America would be like a general speed limit in Germany. It's like slaughtering holy cows.

@letterborneVods

4 жыл бұрын

Ruediger Podlaha I just drove through Germany with my mother and we got a ticket (or whatever you call it) 🧐 seriously, 100km/h speed limit??? Insanity

@ja_u

4 жыл бұрын

LaughingForNoReason XD Well theres rules. Some parts of the Autobahn have a speed limit for example to quiet down the noises for neighboring cities. You gotta know when its fine to drive 250mph and when its not, after all it is Germany!

@skirata3144

4 жыл бұрын

@@ja_u 402 km/h? You should pay attention to more than just the speed limit if you want to go that fast

@MultiScooter63

4 жыл бұрын

First I read gang bang instead of gun ban ... :-)

@vienna11215

3 жыл бұрын

Yes well... holy cows make the BEST hamburgers!!!

"What the hell were you thinking killing all of the Native Americans"

@n3ff848

4 жыл бұрын

"Things that never happened". I'm german and no german would ever asked such thing. Not because it's an uncomfortable question, but because it's a stupid question. The person on the table wasn't there, nor their parents or grandparents.

@CamaroMann

4 жыл бұрын

@@thebeatcreeper …and n3ff is the stereotypical, humorless German. And probably proud of it.

@hansdampf4695

4 жыл бұрын

@@thebeatcreeper True. :)

@LuckyGirlsTown

4 жыл бұрын

@@n3ff848 I'm German and I did ask that question. On Thanksgiving. Lol.

@sleepysera

4 жыл бұрын

@@n3ff848 Actually we do. Not necessarily that question in particular, but uncomfortably political questions, absolutely. Smalltalk with my British friend: issues with past British colonialism and how it links to Brexit. Smalltalk with my American family: why blackface is or isn't offensive.

I’m American and refuse to use, “How are you?” as a greeting, and if someone says it to me, they will absolutely get an overview of my recent medical history.

@siquod

4 жыл бұрын

I, German, approve of your attitude. Upvoted!

@silda6494

3 жыл бұрын

Looks like you have german ancestors ^^ :D

@Larrypint

2 жыл бұрын

The only other options are "I cant complain" or "well,it has to go one" .

@lepusistlich6930

2 жыл бұрын

German spy detected.

I remember a German comic at a standup club introducing his act by disputing the stereotype of a German lack of sense of humor and their obsession with analytical thinking and mathematical precision. He said the Germans were as spontaneous as anyone. Then he said: "Und now, joke number one."

@shelbynamels973

2 жыл бұрын

Henning Wenn has a similar start to his comedy routine, as he says "off we go", setting off a stop watch.

My husband who is German ( I am an American born and raised in Kentucky ) Tell the truth we are both just laughing like crazy.!!

"It's our constitutional right to go on a family trip in a Volkswagen with the speed of a cruise missile"😂

Germans go into the cellar to laugh. Austrians go into the cellar... for other stuff.

@feinegrafik

4 жыл бұрын

HA! Unterbewertet

@kathrin9674

4 жыл бұрын

ui. Der war böse, gut und traf zielsicher.

@BadDayLp

4 жыл бұрын

Galador I see what you did there

@netsoplix9483

4 жыл бұрын

Wie hoch ist eigentlich die Gas rechnung?

@michaelfonseca4369

4 жыл бұрын

#toosoon

KZread video title: "German humor." German commentators: "Allow us to introduce ourselves."

Haha I'm American, and I always answer the question of "how are you" with variations of "I'm alive." "Well, I woke up today..." and just staring at them. lol.

@gregkamer3754

2 жыл бұрын

I always say "Still above ground, so I'm counting that as a win"

@mkb2377

2 жыл бұрын

Volker Pispers ( German hard Comedy ) - The history of USA and Terrorism😇😅 kzread.info/dash/bejne/f3eI0a99dcTLltI.html

The smoking areas on train station platforms are actually more helping to concentrate the cigarette waste in one place so it's easier to clean, that's why I like this system. It's meant to keep smoke from non-smokers but whatever... It has working benefits.

@DieFlabbergast

4 жыл бұрын

Stations (as well as the trains, of course) are completely non-smoking in Japan. That's the way it should be.

@gustavgnoettgen

4 жыл бұрын

@phoo4402 german science! Great and all until it breaks down and repair is expensive.

@williamwilson2020

4 жыл бұрын

I am very sensitive to the smoke of cigarettes and those smoking areas are very helpful for someone like me (in bus stops, where there aren't any, it can be a nightmare).

As a German,.... You can’t really be proud about it If Germans start to become patriotic, the world gets nervous The last two times didn’t pan out that well

@poppers7317

2 жыл бұрын

third time's the charm

@ChestnutTreeCafe

2 жыл бұрын

Having a shitty history doesn't stop Americans being proud to be an American.

@ChemySh

2 жыл бұрын

@@poppers7317 I mean, the last reich to fail was the third...

@skittlesbutwithchocolatein2274

Жыл бұрын

like usa since ww2

It's funny how even Germans watching this tent to find it funny, listening to a guy stating nothing but clear facts. Talking about the "travel cancellation insurance", Vince forgot to mention the hardest part of negotiating it, that is to define the exact terms of the Reiserücktrittsversicherungsausschlussklauseln (the travel cancellation insurances' exclusion clauses); the mere thought of having spent time, effort and money, for something like an insurance and then not beinig able to benefit from it because some details had been overseen is sheer horror to Germans and something they fear more the death !

@xyzsame4081

4 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile the American citizens - and business owners - brood over their health insurance plans, try to find the least shitty one (they are getting ripped off left, right and center. As a nation they spend double per person compared to most other wealthy countries). Companies that MUST offer a plan, change the plans (coverage) all the time. They are often forced to, if the insurance does not think the client (company) is profitable they raise premiums, co-pays, deductibles until the company gives up (the insurance companies intends to "fire" the company, but they cannot openly send them a letter that they want them to get lost because one employee (or a family member) happens to have a costly or ongoing treatment. Might be against the law, and would be so bad PR that politicians might be needed to react. 8I heard that from Wendell Potter, whistleblower on the industry). So every year (or inbetween even, the insurers and employers can make those changes as they want) American citizens have to reassess which doctors are in the "network" which their insurance plans - currently - covers. Not conscious after an accident and the "wrong" ambulance got you in the "wrong" hospital ? There comes the suprise bill, never mind that you "had insurance". Can be a few thousand dollars for smaller medical inervention. X-rays, fixing a broken bone A cesarian costs around 10,000 USD in a first world nation, and 30,000 in the U.S. (on average). Well it does not "cost" 30,000 USD (running a hospital in Japan, Frane or the U.S. cannot be that different, not how they organize it and not the budgets they need), but that is what is BILLED. Bill over USD 800 for use of the wrong ambulance company would not be extraordinary. Another story that Wendell Potter mentioned. A woman fell into a gap at the underground or she stumbled. She hurt her leg badly she had a cut on her leg from some sharp metal. The bone showed, so quite severe. She cried out of pain, while other people tried to help her - and begged them to NOT call an ambulance, because she could not afford the costs.

@xyzsame4081

4 жыл бұрын

I'd take the booking of travel cancellation insurance every day over handling U.S. health insurance (even more security for the consumer, for a voluntary ! planned contract for a luxury product). The travel agencies tend to offer it as a given for higher priced contracts: It is a little more revenue for them AND the customers will not mind paying, but will be thankful that the agency nudged them to book it, IF they need it. That is a win / win for the industry. And if the travel is not costly but the person just about can afford it (the big once a year joy) - then it also makes sense to secure your position so to speak. Germans have the reputation of travelling a lot, and if you spend some money on the contract, and the insurance (if you cannot fulfill the contract does not cost that much) - Why not ? Americans are coaxed to insure their expensive smartphones (especially lower income people use that). Sure they lose a few hundred bucks if they drop it and it breaks beyond repair, but the insurance seems to be quite expensive (considering the maximum damage / cost of insurance ratio). Booking travel cancellation insurance for a planned pricey vacation is a good problem (expenditure) to have.

@hands-to-work1601

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@hands-to-work1601

4 жыл бұрын

@@xyzsame4081 you must be German, too, since you have absolutely no sense of humor 😂

@inconnu4961

3 жыл бұрын

@@hands-to-work1601 No, worse! An american democrat! At least Germans are good people and fun to be around!

"Are you alright?" "What must, that must."

@pyrosalathd6492

4 жыл бұрын

Oder für die Mundfaulen Schwaben wie mich..... "muss"

@manueloverhoff3493

2 жыл бұрын

muss muss waa

@sypetsutube1272

2 жыл бұрын

Wat mutt, dat mutt.

Germans have so many words for complex actions/feelings around actions

@ArdaSReal

4 жыл бұрын

@David Cieplik schon alleine das wort "doch" ist so ein Luxus

@Adlerjunges83

27 күн бұрын

I'm proud to know tons of cool long german compound words to describe things. We are a great nation, we Germans. There are just some...who don't count as they are doing all in their power to destroy it and Europe while blaming us for their own actions, us, the loving caring harmless people.

Portugal: we have the same issues on "how are you" and "travel insurance" as the germans! :D

Tschechisches Streichholzschächtelchen 😁

@marga9296

4 жыл бұрын

Wow that german skills

@MrMissingReel

4 жыл бұрын

@@marga9296 Kein Wunder....ich lebe in Deutschland 😉

@jochenstacker7448

4 жыл бұрын

Ich bin Deutscher und kann das nicht sagen.

@MrMissingReel

4 жыл бұрын

@@jochenstacker7448 Seien Sie froh! Einen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr wünsche ich Ihnen 🍾🥂

@6666Imperator

4 жыл бұрын

das klingt wie etwas das Pavlic und Pavlic bei der Bully Parade gesagt haben :D

Ich kenne den anders: Ein Mann fliegt zu einer Präsentation des neuen Porsche nach Amerika. An der Grenze fragt ihn der Beamte warum er nach Amerika will. Seine Antwort: "I'm here for the new 911".

@unitforce7417

4 жыл бұрын

The 911 2012

@IknillU100x

4 жыл бұрын

ja kam so 1:1 im diktator vor. hast du gut kopiert

@rauschi3863

4 жыл бұрын

@@IknillU100x Hat irgendwer bei Nightwash erzählt.

@V0r4xiz

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah but that's corny and not funny. THats why Vince is the professional comedian and you're not.

@Loreman72

4 жыл бұрын

... and they all pulled out their guns and sent him to Gitmo!

Video about germans *Germans:* Das ist jetzt meins!

@leget4694

4 жыл бұрын

It’s free Grundbesitz

@alexandras.7143

4 жыл бұрын

Ist wirklich wine schreckliche Angewohnheit 🤣

I'm curious where the stereotype of the humourless german even comes from because in my experience Germans are some of the most fun people to be around and they laugh probably the most.

@thethingthatshouldnotbe3035

4 жыл бұрын

Ben Schmie. Might be because we don’t over exaggerate when laughing like most Americans tend to do (which is kind of normal for them, I guess). If it’s not funny, we‘re not going to laugh; if it‘s only slightly amusing, you better believe we‘re not gonna burst out in laughter either (well, most of us, I presume). But ultimately your guess is as good as mine!

@XDrake3107

4 жыл бұрын

well germans have the best type of Humor, Galgenhumor. Nothing beats galgenhumor

@thethingthatshouldnotbe3035

4 жыл бұрын

XDrake 3107 and schadenfreude

@eva-mariacoughlin9456

4 жыл бұрын

My goodness I live on laughter! Makes life easier! Meine Güte, ich lebe zu lachen, es macht das Leben einfacher! Hahahaha

@Dethleffff

4 жыл бұрын

My (german) dad has his own theory on the humorless german sterotype. He grew up in the seventies in a town where there was a british barracks and tells the story that the british soldiers were often looking for trouble, beating up locals and stuff like this. So there was no reason for him to have fun or laugh around these soldiers and when they came home they told everyone "hey, these germans don't have humor, I never saw them laugh". He was visiting scotland a few years ago and a scottish guy wanted to tell them a joke about germans that never smile. My father just asked if he was a soldier in germany (he was) and told him exactly this story. That guy didn't tell the joke.

...a Porsche... ...what model...? ...911...! (ooops...! ;-)

@mikeoyler2983

4 жыл бұрын

That's a very clever joke. ; )

@nfspbarrister5681

4 жыл бұрын

My word...that was a great dark humour! Roared laughing that i am.

@SchimmelAufDemBrot4m

4 жыл бұрын

Model neinteewonn wonn

Before mum and dad is tax registration number...

@wilhelmrk

4 жыл бұрын

So true

@yamirdreizehn283

4 жыл бұрын

My daughter was born 20 days ago and she allready got her SteuerID.

@aGentleUser

4 жыл бұрын

I have two kids they got it within the same week they were born...

@walterwhite415

4 жыл бұрын

@@aGentleUser I think there are actually two kinds of germans; The ones who invent all the rules and registrations and the others, wich wonder who the hell thought newborns need a "Steueridentifikationsnummer" in the first week of their live.

@robertnett9793

4 жыл бұрын

@@walterwhite415 Look - we Germans are actually very very light hearted and spontanous people. It's just that this light-heartedness and spontanity has to be orderly, well documented and thoroughly planned. Edit: And keep in mind, that humour is not a laughing matter.

German Humor is No Joke!

@carlottaventi9556

4 жыл бұрын

I know, they take their humor VERY seriously, hihi. :)

@donatera6445

4 жыл бұрын

thats not "german humour" what he does here is just unfunny af. not a good comedian.

@ticki23

4 жыл бұрын

@@donatera6445 he´s not the best comedian ever...not even the best german comedian but he´s also not unfunny af. If you´re able to do so please... do it better.

@ArdaSReal

4 жыл бұрын

@@ticki23 you don't have to be better to complain.

@Larrypint

2 жыл бұрын

Well Humor is a serious topic

Ich bin aus Rusland, and Ich liebe Ihren Humor, Herr Ebert!

I love the Germans. They're really funny, too, but you have to know the right approach.

@steffen5121

4 жыл бұрын

Reminds me, how I'm a German AND an introvert. I'm basically a rubiks cube to people. That's why I have no friends. :(

@eb3279

4 жыл бұрын

@@steffen5121 - Do some sports, join a Verein. I played Wasserball and that got me on the inside. Viel Glueck, Mensch!

@adim341

4 жыл бұрын

@@steffen5121 nah its your looks

@steffen5121

4 жыл бұрын

@@adim341 Exactly

“How are you” from strangers is the most irritating question. In continental Europe you only ask it from acquaintances

@hanswurst2820

3 жыл бұрын

true i once was in canada and the store assistant asked that, i was so confused that i couldn’t answer 😂

@manueloverhoff3493

2 жыл бұрын

in germany we say "muss, muss waa"

@spaceowl5957

2 жыл бұрын

That’s not true, I’m Germany we also say “wie läufts” or “wie gehts” just as a greeting, and in France they say “ca va” as a greeting. The only thing weird about the American way is that it’s this whole ritual of “how are you? I’m fine thanks how are you? I’m good thanks!” Where as in Germany we just say “Hey how are you?” And the answer is just “Hi!” Or whatever. There’s not this codified series of phrases. But other than that it’s the same. Like if someone in Germany tells me their life story when we just greeted each other that would be weird as well.

Edison didn't invent the lightbulb, he invented a copper coating for the lightbulb filament that made it last longer, making it viable for commercial use.

@sineme

4 жыл бұрын

@Alexander Büch it's German, with a capital G.

@alexahelmich

4 жыл бұрын

@@sineme lmao perfect addition

@sineme

4 жыл бұрын

@@alexahelmich Dankeschön!

@alexahelmich

4 жыл бұрын

@@sineme Kein Ding b ✨

@JoniWan77

4 жыл бұрын

And after that companies invented a way for them to break faster, keeping them viable for commercial use.

My family lived in Germany for three years. Being American, the driving shocked me! They drive faster than me!! My husband is now retired from the Airforce. We loved Germany and want to live there again! Just for a few years. This comic was awesome ❣❣❣ Grace

The lightbulb/quantum physics comparison had me in stitches. I can just picture it "I don't care, just invent me a lightbulb! Now dammit!"

@xellos5262

4 жыл бұрын

"Sorry but I don't work here" :D

English: Very nice, i am very amused. Deutsch: Sehr schön, hat mich sehr amüsiert.

the light bulb joke squeezed the dirtiest laugh out of me, lol

I like the German accent in English because there is always a lisp and I think it's cute

@jaygae161

4 жыл бұрын

Diddle Skittles *me as a german with german accent“ i think its like the worst thing in this world, i really hate my accent xD it sound kinda weird for me xD

@JamesMartinelli-jr9mh

4 жыл бұрын

German accent sounds cool in English; however, the German language is horrendous.

@paulapierrot9542

4 жыл бұрын

People of other nations are proud of their accent or at least they don't hate it. But no German ever likes the German accent.

@Wislex

3 жыл бұрын

@@paulapierrot9542 Because the very existence of your accent is an offense to the entire culture of foreign languages and also blow your cover as an secret agent, jk :D

@chrisrudolf9839

3 жыл бұрын

It's not so much a lisp and more having problems to pronounce the th and voiced consonants in general, especially if they aren't followed by a vowel. It's mainly the older Germans though, generation 50+, who still have that thick cliche accent replacing the th by a straight on s without noticing it. Germans who started learning English already as as children in school usually have a less prominent accent and can pronounce a th.

The one about "how are you" is also relatable for me as a Russian. In Russia, we too ask others how are they doing, and they, of course, may reply with "I'm doing fine, thanks", but it would be considered impolite if the one who asked is your close friend or a relative. Because if you don't tell them, like, a whole bunch of stuff that happened to you in the near past, that would mean you don't trust that person, you don't want to talk to them and don't want to share your news with them. So, when asked "how are you doing?", we tend to *actually* reply by telling the one who asked about our life, our work, our family, our plans etc. P.S.: of course it doesn't work for everyone, it's not a rule. Just a tendency I noticed.

@whitegold2960

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah that sounds also right for Germany

Klasse!!!! Ich hab das Video meinen Freunden geschickt, die kein Deutsch können... damit sie verstehen, warum ich ein Fan bin. :-p

As a German, I am ver offe- yeah, no, he's actually right. We do all of that...

Lier! It is the Auslandskrankenversicherung, because otherwise you will not have a Auslandskrankenschein!

@iwilltubeyouall

4 жыл бұрын

True

@chanikynes4525

4 жыл бұрын

hahahahhah goes it any more german ? Ich denke nicht hahahah

@vermilion7777

4 жыл бұрын

As long as there is a Rinderkennzeichnungsfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz. Take that Wales!!!

@Luke0193

4 жыл бұрын

Geht ja nicht um im Ausland krank sein, geht nur ums Geld zurückkriegen fürs zurückfliegen und das hat mit Auslandskrankenversicherung nichts zu tun

@vermilion7777

4 жыл бұрын

@@Luke0193 Das ist übrigens einer der Gründe, warum man im Ausland glaubt Deutsche hätten kein Humor. Jemand erzählt einen Witz und der andere Antwortet mit völlig überflüssiger Information, die die Pointe des Witzes überkompliziert oder zerstört, indem man einfach daran vorbeigeht. Mal abgesehen davon, dass viele Deutsche in englischen Threads einfach in deutsch antworten.

When a video has something to do with german -> Germans: Hippity Hoppity this comment section is now my property

@corpluym

4 жыл бұрын

When I saw the title started with ´´German Humor´´ I understood immediately it was fake news.

@MarinatedNari

4 жыл бұрын

You should see Brazilians

@GamePandaXXL

4 жыл бұрын

Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Kommentarbereich

@sowpmactavish

4 жыл бұрын

ES MUSS FÜR DEUTSCHLANDS LEBENSRAUM

@jayanthony3006

3 жыл бұрын

Insert "It's free real estate" meme!

As the daughter of German parents, I think I just found my new mentor for life decisions. Danke Schone

I loved Germany. Loved it. Wished I lived there except I don't feel smart enough or fit enough. Germany has high standards in almost everything. But it was incredible to me and changed me for the better. I'll never forget it.

@Larrypint

2 жыл бұрын

you welcome with that attitude and if everyone would have that attitude we would have far less immigrant.^^

@jannix7262

2 жыл бұрын

@@Larrypint Bro WTF

@Larrypint

2 жыл бұрын

@@jannix7262?

I'm just getting home after reading Faust in school and wanna relax watching KZread and what is he talking about?- Faust by Goethe

@daeboilyoverhorse9026

4 жыл бұрын

GÖthe

@HalfEye79

3 жыл бұрын

@@daeboilyoverhorse9026 Wrong. The spelling is "Goethe".

@anjakeller6612

3 жыл бұрын

Ist ja auch ein gutes Buch ;-) Nichts besser als das, um Jugendlichen in eine existenzielle Krise zu stürzen...

@Babyy_girl

3 жыл бұрын

@@anjakeller6612 du sagst es

@MegaYennia

3 жыл бұрын

@@daeboilyoverhorse9026 so sportsfreund geht das aber nicht!

dont underestimate this persons talent of explaining uninteresting things in an interesting way. this guy’s book was the fist book i read to the end. it was about general science and physics. now im studying engineering

@raquelrivas2431

2 жыл бұрын

Wow. Good tip. I Will look for it.

“I flew into NY” Wait That’s illegal

@siquod

4 жыл бұрын

Who says "fly into "? As far as I know, no English dialect does this, and naive Germans would say "I flew after NY"

As a Swede we share the germanic approach😂

German humor aptly described? It clearly shows the stage design: "Go to the basement to laugh"

@MonotoniTV

4 жыл бұрын

My brother actually did that once. I made a terrible joke and he was like. No that's not funny. Just so I would feel bad, than he went to the toilet and laughed 😂 he told me a day later

I was in Rio de Janeiro during the World Cup Final, watching it on the beach, and while the Argentinians were having a meltdown the Germans gave a simple clap at their amazing win and retreated without much fanfare. They are unfazed 😂

@Larrypint

2 жыл бұрын

Well I watch some German fan culture videos in football stadiums. They go crazy for 90 minutes

I am German, but I've spent years carefully smoothing out my accent to obtain a nice British tone - gotta admit, his accent hurts my heart. 😂😂 Haven't heard one that bad since high school, I think.

@35i_Hearse_Driver

4 жыл бұрын

Dann hör dir erstmal Ansagen von doro an. Oder die Willkommensreden von Thomas auf Wacken🙈🙈😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Solchen Leuten sollte es verboten werden Englisch zu sprechen!

@hannahseling1513

4 жыл бұрын

Hast du schon mal den badenwürtembergischen Minister gehört?

@chrismath149

4 жыл бұрын

My English Teacher had me prepare an entire page for a month to get the Austrian English pronunciation (take Bavarian, add a few words pronounced in a slavic fashion and imagine pronouncing English) out of me. Guess I don't need to feel so bad about it anymore.

@Hisxzeh

3 жыл бұрын

Dschörmäny

@Larrypint

2 жыл бұрын

Ist doch n schöner und eigener Akzent, warum klingen wollen wie andere, solang man die Sprache beherrscht ist doch alles gut.

As a US passport holder who has lived in 6 countries, I am convinced that Germans are more intelligent on their worst day than we (Americans) could ever hope to be on our best day. This does not mean that they have more common sense and flexibility in problem-solving, but they are literally like a different species when it comes to intelligence of any kind. After living here for the past two plus years, I think part of this is due to the fact that Germans are actual grownups. America just cannot seem to grow out of its adolescence, and the culture and people in that country really do reflect this.

Wie soll man denn auch humorvoll sein, wenn das Benzin immer teurer wird. Aber es ist alles gut, solange das Bier nicht teurer wird.

@XDrake3107

4 жыл бұрын

Oktoberfest 2019, wo ein maß 11Euro oder so kostete

@VonderDemut

4 жыл бұрын

@@XDrake3107 Scheiße, ja! Ich weiß!

@steffen5121

4 жыл бұрын

Du kannst das nur ertragen, wenn du süffst. Was willst du sonst machen?

@VonderDemut

4 жыл бұрын

@@steffen5121 Da hast Du recht! In diesem Sinne...Prost!

@richtigersoan

4 жыл бұрын

Manke Derkel.

American: my Glass is still half full! Brit: Well, your Glass seems to me half empty.. German : That glass contains 250ml of wheat beer. Brit: Huh? get him out of our sketch!

Absolutely stellar!

Great video! I'm English , grew up in West Germany , and live in America. Wish I found the video 5 years ago !

The thing about the lack of small talk is too real and it's probably my favorite thing about the country

Naturwissenschaften und Kabarett harmonieren wahrscheinlich deshalb so gut, weil die Natur in sich ein riesengroßer Scherzkeks ist. C-SPAN: Joe Wong at RTCA Dinner: kzread.info/dash/bejne/lKmH2JOjmqTLnNY.html

Vince, du hast richtig! I lived in Frankfurt/M for nine years, and what you describe is right on the mark. Prima!

German compliment: Ah, you got a new haircut. Even commenting and happy intonation means it looks good.

That last joke absolutely killed me

As a German I approve of this message:)

I searched German comedian and there are only 2 results. I can confidently say this is the second funniest German comedian on KZread.

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

LMAO! Germans are about as funny as a tax audit!

Excellent video, thanks.

Omg I’m an american who dated germans and this is spot on

@Osprey1994

4 жыл бұрын

I'm mixed and I do a lot of things "Germans " do but I would only joke that it's because I have a significant amount of German DNA on my mother's side.

@ArdaSReal

4 жыл бұрын

Nah its not, this only fits for old people

Hammergeil!

6:06 “Last year I flew into New York” hahahha Aha my favorite

>dont jump, you can still be proud to be German >yes you are right gigachadsmilling jpg.

I remember Vince from WAY back in the day. He's a genius, no question. But also a tragic figure to me. Because I just can't forget how he told on a talk show one time, that his parents or some relatives of his got kidnapped and killed by some terrorists or criminals on their holidays... That does something with your mind...

@sonja9813

4 жыл бұрын

Wow for real? That's so sad...

More I want MORE!!!

All i searched for was "german humor," and this is exactly what i expected.

All comments under this video originate from Germans. You see it by looking at their English grammar

@Neophobic

4 жыл бұрын

I noticed this too 😂 it's so germaneque

@Doktor_nani

4 жыл бұрын

Even as a german you can tell that someone is german only by their pronouciation :D when you talk to someone wo is german in english almost everyone ask within 30 seconds... you are german as well right? :D

@Doktor_nani

4 жыл бұрын

I meant when you talk to a stranger :) Not sure if you can find a pronounciation in a written language :D But germans have typical grammar and spelling mistakes

@joschuaknuppe5849

4 жыл бұрын

We deeply care about what others think about us.

@Futurepointmusic

4 жыл бұрын

Funny how your Grammar isn't completely correct either 😂

Be careful, dont tell the officer:" I want to visit LA for the new 911" if you want to see the new Porsche at the automobil show

As a german I gotta say: fire is dangerous 😐

Super Auftritt! Great Performance!

Great set!!

I'd like to have a facebook-rücktrittsversicherung.

@mathildewesendonck7225

4 жыл бұрын

Rogue Buddha 🤣

I find this funny and sad at the same time. I love the german people and am proud to have german roots 🇩🇪 🇩🇪 🇩🇪

@steffen5121

4 жыл бұрын

I had to scroll through the comments a lot, to find a non-german comment, lol. >90% of comments under yt-videos with Germany in the title are from Germans, it's a law of nature by now. 😜

@gothic_ace2037

4 жыл бұрын

@@steffen5121 Lol it doesnt surprise me, i find that any video that has any mention of someones home country/language tends to draw a lot of that nationality.

@steffen5121

4 жыл бұрын

@@gothic_ace2037 True

@philipplawrenz4258

4 жыл бұрын

Im german, im proud

@Larrypint

2 жыл бұрын

You welcome, don't forget your roots. Nearly 40 million Americans have German roots but they got cut off and lost their knowledge of German language in the 20s-40s because of anti German sentiments and policy.

This is bloody brilliant

Loving this guy. Good stuff

Hilarious! A wonderful look at us Americans from another perspective. Thanks!

I know this was only part of a joke, but I need to correct this whenever I hear it. Thomas Eddision did NOT invent the light bulb, he stole it from the people working for him.

I met a German real estate agent, here in Australia. We started chatting about life etc, and I mention that my old man built his own smoke house and that he regularly makes smoked beef, pork etc, which suprised him greatly and he started talking about how he makes his owb schanpps and then how he renovated his new kitchen and the punch line he pulled one me was " like every good German I installed a rather large oven in my new kitchen" and he said this without a trace of comedy, but I lost it completely.... few seconds later he realised what he said, hahah we then had a long discussion about history he ended up at my house drinking beers and enjoying the smoked beef.

Love the set! LOL!