The nurse rushes into the doctor's office and says"doctor,there's a guy out here who thinks he's invisible."The doctor replies"tell him i can't see him."

@evelyna_paula1747

29 күн бұрын

Ha ha ha. It is a Russian-style style anecdote: they say it brief but it's lethal. They are good at such short stories.

Naked man walks in to see the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist tells the man, "I can clearly see you're nuts"

After 3 months on the ship, the Ensign asks the Captain, "Captain, what do the men do for ,um, you know, sexual relief?" The Captain says "See that barrel on the deck, there's a hole in the side of that barrel. Go try that". The next day, the young Ensign says to the Captain "That was Great. Can I use the barrel any time I want?" The Captain replies "Any time except for Friday". The Ensign asks "Why not Friday?" Captain replies "Because Friday is YOUR day in the barrel".

@Rethy.minnie

2 ай бұрын

Lmaoooo

A similar joke is about a man who is on holidays and phones his brother to see how things are at home. Hi Barry, how're things? Oh, not so good, your cat died. Jesus Barry, you don't ruin someone's holiday by giving bad news like that. No? No, you tell a little white lie, if I ask about my cat, you say 'Oh she's up on the roof right now" or somethng, so I don't get upset and ruin my holiday. Sorry, I never heard that before. Well, OK, I guess you didn't know. How's Mom? Ahh, she's up on the roof right now.

@silverback1518

6 жыл бұрын

Ron Kelly, Royal Lepage that's the joke I thought was coming. It's a better joke.

@doreenbuttermore4478

3 жыл бұрын

@@silverback1518 aww 1

@marvin4827

2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

I love it how he's doing his little cheers and applaud in the end 😂😂

Years ago I was in LA at the Dennys across from KTLA I think it was Sunset Boulevard if I recall and I had a flat tire in the parking lot Vic Tayback put four new tires on my car took me to lunch and took me shopping at I think it was Norstrom we spoke on the phone occasionally and that was it I think he’s a Lebanese man he’s a super great guy what a heart. And what class!!

What does an agnostic, insomniac with dyslexia do? He stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

He had the best delivery of all the joke tellers on the special.

@thatsmeinthepic

2 ай бұрын

You consider this a well delivered good joke? Not in the slightest bit predictable..?

He is still funny TO THIS DAY!

@65coupestang

7 ай бұрын

I DIDN'T SEE THE HUMOR IN THIS "JOKE"MAINLY DUE TO THE FACT THAT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HIM DUE TO HIS ACCENT..THAT'D BE🤔🤷‍♂️🤨🤨HMM..!!??

Everyone remembers him as Mel on Alice, and it's easy to forget how he was a REALLY prolific character actor before that. He was on EVERYTHING...Mod Squad, Mission: Impossible (twice), The Monkees, Partridge Family, Star Trek, F Troop, All In The Family, Mary Tyler Moore Show, Bewitched...you name it. On top of that, I could be totally wrong here but, regardless of the role, he just exuded the feeling that he was a guy that would be really cool to hang out with.

@nikhilfitness9404

3 жыл бұрын

Is this guy dead ?

@thomasthomas2418

2 жыл бұрын

Jo Jo Krako: "I ain't never been 'rrested in my life!

@tnawcwvictoria

2 жыл бұрын

He also played on T.J. Hooker

@floatingsara

2 жыл бұрын

He died in 1990, Mission Impossible was released in 1996, you are probably confusing him with someone else (no idea whom).

@thomasthomas2418

2 жыл бұрын

@@floatingsara The TV series, "Mission: Impossible".

A dog walks into a bar with a bandage on his foot and proclaims "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw"...

Man walks into a pharmacy and says "My friend tells me I need viagra for sexual prowess". The pharmacist replies "It will certainly help, as a matter of fact I take it myself". The man says "Can you get it over the counter?", the pharmacist replies "I can if I take Two".

I CAN ALREADY TELL THIS JOKE IS GOING TO BE FUNNY SO I'LL GIVE IT A PREEMPTIVE THUMBS UP/LIKE 😂👍..!!

My chiropractor is serious as a heart attack, but he always cracks me up.

I have a recording of Flip Wilson from the 60s doing a variation of that joke. It's funny no matter what era it's from.

I really miss this guy!

@JohnFleming-sw7hn

6 ай бұрын

Wish he lived many more years longer longer and longer! Same with Patrick Swanzye Robin Williams and many others!

Hi Mel. ❤️❤️ I miss these old days. Great chill time in life without all these phones computers. We were then able to get answering machines Nothing was so rushed.

RIP VIC TAYBACK

Some people just have a natural talent for telling jokes.......but Most people do not..and this guy.

I didn't know Vic Tayback ever did stand up. A militarized variation on the "your mom was on the roof and we couldn't get her down" joke, which was so humorously portrayed in Spain, in the cave drawings of La Pasiega. On a side note, a comment left by one of the stone aged artists was deciphered to mean, "I've heard that one before".

@lorinwegand6324

2 жыл бұрын

Same thing on Noah's ark.

@shaystern2453

20 күн бұрын

he didn't

May Vic Tayback R.I.P. Passed away 5/25/1990 age 60 from a heart attack.

He made a great hot-head LOL

6 жыл бұрын

Yes he did

I love Vic Tayback. Gone too soon !

Ranks right up there with "why did the chicken cross the road ?"

@paulwistrand851

6 жыл бұрын

Female Admirer to prove to the possum it can be done

I like it! 👍

Vic ! *KISS MY GRITS*!!

A chicken and an egg are sitting up in bed. The egg is leaning back smoking a cigarette, and the chicken says, "WELL! I guess we know the answer to THAT question!" Ba-DOOM boom!

@jazirfives

Жыл бұрын

The egg came first 🤣

This was an example of an old, classic, clean joke one could say in public. Times have changed a lot. Jay Leno had some great dirty jokes, but suddenly when he became host of The Tonight Show, well, the jokes became as old and clean as the white seniors who watched the show.

@gherieg.1091

Жыл бұрын

White seniors ? Why not just seniors ? You’re ... you’re ... ... you’re something-phobic !! 😒

My favorite part is the second before I made the mistake of watching this

@tonymanfredi6844

6 жыл бұрын

BEAVACUDA 😅😅😆

@dazzlerpenn9736

6 жыл бұрын

BEAVACUDA ,

@alex.sanders.9774

5 жыл бұрын

BEAVACUDA jrj

@pe8324

3 жыл бұрын

Prick

Mel. Kiss my grits.

Actually a very good joke

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! Why the long face"

I wish he was still alive today!

Vic Tayback is/was a solid Man in the industry! Played the role for what ever and it came out GREAT! There you go.

That was a good one.

I loved Vic Tayback he disappeared too soon

It’s a great joke for all ages

Rodney D. could've told 15 jokes in this span.

@jweekley1

6 жыл бұрын

AliensAnonymous and every one of them would be better.

@SuperChuckRaney

6 жыл бұрын

Hey, my dingy is bigger than your whole Joke !!

@johnrunion5357

5 жыл бұрын

15 !!! 15 ??? better make that 45 !

@bubbadano1508

2 жыл бұрын

But that was Dangerfields' style and only his. So what's your point?

@AliensAnonymous

2 жыл бұрын

@@bubbadano1508 The point is exactly what I wrote. It was a declarative statement. -- You get no respect, I tell ya...

It’s all in the delivery.

south park re-did that joke lol. good one

I love Vic Tayback.

@AnotherOak

2 жыл бұрын

I love your hat

@PEACEEASE108 What would you like to know about the Buddha?

I heard this when i was in the army, 30+ years later hehe

it was a different time, lol

@sanda5587

5 жыл бұрын

Mal big How does writing "lol" after a post make someone a d***head?

I always hate to be the bearer of bad news.

that was a clear picture for 1984

THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR VIDEO (MEMORYSTAR)

That’s the oldest joke in the book. I kept watching it, thinking no way will that be the punchline

Kind of like the old Richard Pryor joke. Mr. Jones passed away. And he was a very big businessman in town. Everyone loved him and his wife and they didn't know how to break the news to her. The townspeople decided that Lawyer Calhoun would break the news as he was the smoothest talker in town. Lawyer Calhoun goes to the house and rings the bell. Mrs. Jones answers and he says, "Good day, Ma'am. Is you the widow Jones?" She replies, "No". Lawyer Calhoun says, "Da hell you ain't"

@Robard65

7 жыл бұрын

reno145 three men are cleaning windows when one of hem falls thirteen floors down and dies. "One of us should tell his wife." says one of the collegues. "I am not gonna tell her." the other says. So the first one went. And comes back with a case if beer. "What's this? I thought you were gonna tell his wife that Frank died?' "I did. I rang the bell, a window opens on the first floor and a head pops out. I said: "Are you widow Jefferson?" She said; "My name is Jefferson, but i am not a widow." And i said; "Wanna bet?"

@frankhancock9984

7 жыл бұрын

reno145 i

@angstBali

6 жыл бұрын

funnier than the video

@craigk621

6 жыл бұрын

reno145 .... had to be there ?

@tonymanfredi6844

6 жыл бұрын

craigk621 lol

WWII vets liked that joke, I'm sure. It has to a lot to do with the idiocy and incompetency many of them dealt with when answering to new, young officers during the war. So the joke just on its face is silly, but when you really knew an idiot like that, a joke at their expense is funnier.

What I don't understand is, is that these are such great actors and actresses from the 60s 70s 80s and some 90s and yet they don't use them anymore in anything, that's the whole tragedy of a lot of these stars that had these sitcoms sure they were and other things but sometimes they were not for instance the one program that they could have or would have been in made them famous but then that was it one hit wonders they call them but still a lot of great actors in the 70s era 80s era that they should be using today instead what do we have these hacks That Couldn't find the acting bug if it was late at night in a roach motel. And you don't hear about these people until you find out on the news that they died, that is the biggest shame of it all in Hollywood. They did bring back Judd Hirsch he played in taxi for all those that don't know his name, and that donut shop program which I believe is no longer on I thought he was great. Where do these actors go when no one wants them anymore? It's a shame

Sounds like Vic was actually in the Navy.

Vic Tayback-- telling a 45 second joke in just under a decade, ugh!!!

Some things don't get better with age ..

FUNNY STUFF!!!!!

R.I.P. Vic Tayback

I almost threw up on my cat when he got to the punch line.

When does the the joke part happen?

Better than most on this network.

two minutes of my life I will never get back

@LifesVoyager

6 жыл бұрын

When did you ever get any time back?

@dimehigh

5 жыл бұрын

Ha haaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Read the title of the video - it is the funniest joke he knew, that is why he did sitcoms and not stand-up.

lol funny

soon as I heard "seamen" I thought I knew where this was going. Guess not.

On that same ship there were FOUR SKIN DIVERS used for circumcision of Wales ...😎

Only 2.8k likes after 1.3 mil views? Seems about right. That wasnt even a joke.

Sick joke

@shawndwhitmore9222

6 жыл бұрын

Rev. Stephen A. Cakouros Next time God sends out addendums to His Laws, please make it public. Your most eloquent judgement calls for your title to allow you to vary from the Real Word... I wonder where. Unexplained and too simple to warrent consideration, the comment instead incites my curiosity. In America, we hold high our own standards, and expect everyone else to do the same. Civics classes in my youth taught me to be polite or explain myself. Shame I gotta point this out to a man of cloth who is to be doing the teaching of principles and priorities, yet while identifying himself as a man who gives advice, and then shunning an opportunity to make a point on taste and appropriate times for cander, he then befouls the knowledgablity of his chosen path. Good luck.

If you didnt like that joke you kiss my grits!

Oh dear, how to give Vic Tayback the bad news.........

This is a great one.

This would be a good Norm Macdonald joke

Really. Funniest joke ever. Hmmmmm.....

This guy makes Raymond J. Johnson Jr. look funny.

Never build up a joke

It's not a bad joke. This joke would have been far more enjoyable if it wasn't labeled the "Funniest Joke I Ever Heard"

@matthewstanford3489

2 ай бұрын

No shit right? As if we all haven’t heard it millions of times before from Macfarlane.

funny as a broken crutch

Remember Vic Tayback wasn't really comedian. He started out playing villians.

It's a good joke for kids mostly.

😂😂😂

All I can hear is Carface from All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

Rip Vic.....

Fella walks into a pub, he says "You're the new landlord here, you only moved in a couple of weeks ago didn't you?" Landlord says "Aye, and I've made a few changes. Opening night tonight, we've got sandwiches laid on, snooker and pool in the back room, fitted carpet. We've spent a few bob in here.". Fella says "Listen pal, don't get too bleedin' busy. I've been coming here for twenty five years and we've always had snuff on the counter. You get some snuff on that counter, that's a tip for you. I'll be back myself later, good luck with the opening night. Landlord thinks "Where the bleedin' hell am I gonna get snuff from at this time of night?". Ooh, and he gets this dog shit off the pavement. Dries it out, grinds it into a fine powder, puts it in a beautiful silver box on the counter. Fella comes back, he says "Now you're talking. The lads will appreciate this." and takes a pinch of snuff up each nostril. "You've no idea what this will mean to the lads. I've been coming here for twenty five years... can you smell dog shit in here?" Landlord says "There's no dog shit in here pal, my wife hasn't stopped cleaning for a fortnight.". "Well I can smell it.", the bloke said. "Phoo, It's getting worse. It wreaks in here.". Another fella walks through the door, the bloke says to him "Can you smell dog shit in here?". The bloke breaths in and says "No, I can't smell anything.". Walks up to the counter, takes a pinch of snuff up each nostril and says "I tell you what, that snuff doesn't half clear your head, I can smell that dog shit now.".

@lorinwegand6324

2 жыл бұрын

Did you say that with a stiff upper lip or as it practice for when they kick you out of the comic lineup?

NOW HERE THIS...THAT IS ALL

"NOW HERE THIS! NOW HERE THIS, ANNE MARIE! ANNE MARIE, YOUR BELOVED DOG, CHARLIE BARKIN HAS DIED! THAT IS ALL!" - Carface Carruthers

@Chip-Chapley

6 жыл бұрын

at least all dogs go to heaven....... >.>

@lorinwegand6324

2 жыл бұрын

I don't get your comment and I don't want to! 🚫

@WizardOfHumor1989

2 жыл бұрын

@@Chip-Chapley U said it 😎

I do not think any war has lasted as long as that joke.. But did like him in Alice.

That joke killed - his standup career.

something something... semen... something something

Where did they find the names back then?

Mel !!

Tankedy Tank Tankedy Tank

carface from All Dogs Go To Heaven

I got one! Everyday, four friends ride to work and come back home together Monday through Friday! The driver of the car is from the next town west of the other three,so it's only logical he picks the others up and drops them off. One day, the biggest storm of the year hit just as they were driving back home and the driver lost control of the car and the car ended upside down in a ditch! The three passengers were ok but, the driver was killed! The three friends were in shock, and wondered what the heck they were going to do? Two of them didn't know where the driver lived, but the other did and said, he would go and tell the drivers wife that her husband was killed in the accident. The other two said, Hold on there Jimbo! You have to be diplomatic about how you approach his wife! The guy reassures them that he knows exactly what to do, and off he goes! He gets to the drivers home and knocks at the door, the woman comes to the door and he politely says, Mam,are you the Widow Johnson ?? She says, I'm Mrs Johnson , but I'm no Widow! The man replys, The Hell You Ain't !!!! Lmao!!! I still crack myself up everytime I tell that joke! Lol!

@jazirfives

Жыл бұрын

This is one where the delivery makes or breaks it!

lol!

I fucking hate long loooong jokes that go nowhere.

What is a brand new Ensin?

@jamescook7713

10 күн бұрын

An Ensign is the lowest ranking commissioned officer in the Navy.

Vic would be 87 today

saw it comin from waaay out

Some of the audience members are also dead now.....

@thegreatbamboozler4837

6 жыл бұрын

...from hearing that joke?

@retardis8152

6 жыл бұрын

Some of the people in the comment section weren't too alive to begin with.

@dimehigh

5 жыл бұрын

You guys are funnier than the joke.

@djmocha7

3 жыл бұрын

@999Manman You idiot, you dope. You don’t just tell somebody bad news like that. You say it in a nice roundabout way. Got it?

societies taste in average intelligence fluctuates with time, however, the executives who came up with the name of the show didn't assume people would be stupid enough to think I means You.

Ships have 'Batteries"?

@patrickwall8517

3 жыл бұрын

A battery is a group of sailors.

@wes643

Жыл бұрын

Ships that go in the ocean have two batteries. One is a salted.

This is the day when crude and lude were not en vogue...

@djtoona

6 жыл бұрын

I have to disagree. Ludes were very popular back then.