I'm only 4 minutes in but I love that this "teacher" is telling first graders they shall not commit adultery.

@jimmwith2ms251

2 жыл бұрын

And the kids don't know what that means. Making kids memorising words they don't understand is a good way to start an indoctrination. It teaches them to listen, obey, and don't think. It's child abuse.

@nmcconnachie5640

2 жыл бұрын

Ironically abeka science / health will NOT explain what sex is. So all they will know for another decade is just that adultery is a bad thing grown ups can do.

@maneckineckbeard1749

2 жыл бұрын

When I was in first grade, I'm almost sure I'd probably just assume that that meant "don't become an adult," and I'd be SO confused!

2 жыл бұрын

I attended public school but we learned those 10 commandments in Sunday school/religious education as well. In my language, that commandment translates to “don’t wish for your neighbour’s wife” (no mention of a husband!), and honestly, for our 8 year old selves, that made zero sense :D

@ttintagel

2 жыл бұрын

And notice there's no hand motion for adultery.

I didn’t expect to get angry during this video. But it really hurt knowing you told your mom that you wanted to meet the kids in the video and she laughed it off. It’s common sense that people need friends.

@KeaIrene23

2 жыл бұрын

That part broke my heart for her as a mom I could never just laugh my kid off for wanting real friendships. It make me think of what my life would have been like without my best friend. And the answer is horrible and lonely. I would never want that for my kids. All kids need at least one good friend.

@gladtobefreeagain7375

2 жыл бұрын

Fundies worry about worldly influences. Secular homeschoolers often join up for social & enrichment activities. Fundies could even create a few of their own. AWANA doesn't count since it's more religious indoctrination.

@LadyHawke78

2 жыл бұрын

For real. Fundies want to isolate kids from anyone “of the world” so these poor kids don’t get socialization necessary for proper development. This crap is setting up kids for failure. 😢

@mikereseigh

2 жыл бұрын

It's very sad

@fiig5196

2 жыл бұрын

Same. It feels like her mom just wanted a babysitter and put her in front of the tv (but it’s school so it’s “good”) all in the pursuit of honoring a deity and avoiding the secular

Today I finally broke open my fundie homeschool experiences with my therapist, and right after I found this in my notifications. Your videos are so appreciated. Thank you.

@LetsBeClear87

2 жыл бұрын

🎵bag, alert, major ba-a-ag alert🎵

I felt so negative about myself due to my homeschooling. We were always behind, no structure, very few friends, and I always felt overwhelmed. I related to almost everything you said.

I'm an atheist and was looking for homeschool curriculum (to homeschool during pandemic) and this curriculum kept coming up and was recommended by homeschooling KZreadrs. I was really interesting how much christian curriculum I had to weed through to find what I needed

@graceperkins5641

2 жыл бұрын

kzread.info she’s a secular homeschooler! I actually know her and she’s got a lot of great stuff :)

@jessicamontaperto810

2 жыл бұрын

Every Day Magic she’s a secular homeschooling Mom!. She’s having homeschooling moms do meet the teacher homeschooling edition.

@jd-no7rw

2 жыл бұрын

There are a lot of secular homeschooling curriculums, but it's helpful to be able to know which ones that are (some say they are and are not).

@jessicamontaperto810

2 жыл бұрын

@@jd-no7rw true . Every homeschooling family has different beliefs it’s ok to respectfully disagree. Just be civil about it. Which I noticed with the majority of my age group does not do. Not saying all but most. That’s the contents. I been attacked for my spelling Trust me it can be very hurtful. I am like ask why I struggle with it. Give me time to explain or scroll by & move on don’t attack me for it my dyslexia or seizures can do that. I am hoping to get laser treatment soon 😹😿😾. Unfortunately can’t get the study 📚 for it till Jul 26th . Ten days after my birthday 🥳. Ugh 😣.

@icarusgotooclose

2 жыл бұрын

@@jessicamontaperto810 I think some people conflate respecting other people and respecting other people's beliefs. All people deserve a certain amount of respect, but beliefs do not intrinsically deserve respect. Like if someone believes in human sacrifice or child abuse you certainly don't need to respect that. If your beliefs are harmful to others then people probably won't respect them. Lots of people have issues with a lot of home schooling because they think it is used as a way to keep children purposely ignorant and vulnerable to abuse and out of the eyes of other responsible adults. That said, making fun of a disability or illness is never okay. In general I agree that the spelling nitpicking is stupid.

This is interesting. I live in the UK and my brother was homeschooled a couple of times, but my parents had to prove that they were following the national curriculum and there were several visits from I guess an inspector to check the quality of the teaching. Basically, I'm pretty sure this type of "education" that you had to endure would be illegal here. No wonder homeschooling has such a bad reputation in the US.

@KeaIrene23

2 жыл бұрын

Most do amazing but there are many who are negligent in schooling which infuriates me. I live in a state that is a “red zone” because of the high requirements and amount of paperwork and record keeping we have to do. But I really don’t mind because it makes sure kids aren’t being left behind and actually given an education and aspects of socialization.

@spadinnerxylaphone2622

2 жыл бұрын

Homeschooling is a good choice for some kids for various reasons. The fundamentalist curriculum is unfortunately not great.

@jessicamontaperto810

2 жыл бұрын

@@spadinnerxylaphone2622 the one my mom & used wasn’t Fundamental Baptist. It’s was Christian . Lifepac. Sounds like Fundamental Baptist man re rough that’s why when I told my boyfriend the more detail to my boyfriend two half years ago about Abeka curriculum he was in shock. Not face to face. I let him know on Instagram. To give homeschooling families in IL a warning about them. I was shocked myself. About it I just was like whoa. Anyone heard about the case of Visble College in CA LA. What happened to this 22 year old young woman?.

@schlookie

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, home schooling is available in New Zealand too, but it has to strictly follow the national curriculum. The NZ home school system was originally set up to cater for kids who live on remote farms, but has become more popular amongst both secular and religious people recently due to schools being closed due to covid, and that the curriculum taught in public schools is becoming more 'woke'.

@jimmwith2ms251

2 жыл бұрын

We also homeschooled a disabled daughter because we are not very happy of how the public school handle her condition, and our homeschool experience was pretty much the same.

I love how she does the pledge of allegiance and then immediately goes into “thou shalt not make graven images”.

@davidcarter1942

Жыл бұрын

I picked up on that irony too. Critical thinking was apparently not part of the syllabus.

@jyt74

Жыл бұрын

@David Carter Thank you both for that connection! From a teacher 😊

I'm an atheist and stumbled across your videos. I'm from Pensacola and went to Pensacola Christian Academy from kindergarten to half of second grade, so I was interested in seeing the clip of the class you mentioned. When you started showing it, I was shocked! That was my 1st grade teacher. If you were born in late 1991 to mid 1992, then that was my class lol I didn't realize how much Bible we learned because I can't remember any of it now.

@boojersey13

2 жыл бұрын

That's so crazy that it was your teacher!! I wonder if the creator of this video has seen the back of your head on a VHS tape lol

@zwatwashdc

2 жыл бұрын

😂

@zwatwashdc

2 жыл бұрын

😂

@perfectlycorrupt420

2 жыл бұрын

Yo I'm from Pace! Also atheist but I've been watching these videos because my partner is an ex evangelical and it's interesting to see other perspectives. I went to S.S. Dixon from '92 to 1995 I believe. I didn't realize that Pensacola had the wildly Christian school until I watched this video and looked into it. It makes sense now though, I remember driving by a book burning at a church in Pensacola once when I was really little....

@ImHereFindMe

2 жыл бұрын

I guess the indoctrination failed

I read somewhere that secular homeschoolers tend to do a lot better, partly because the reasons the parents choose to homeschool, like accelerating the curriculum or to pursue other sports or specialties, or global travel, or to avoid bullying or poor public school options.

@kathleenh2782

2 жыл бұрын

i'm a secular homeschooler! i left the public school system to avoid bullying and because i have a chronic sort-of terminal illness. after a school day all i could really bring myself to do was sleep and eat dinner. i couldn't do any extracurriculars but i've done so many from my 7 (almost 8) years of being homeschooled. it's not easy, but it's not as bad as public school was.

@KeaIrene23

2 жыл бұрын

Part of these reasons are why chose homeschool. I never wanted to but our district did my son so dirty a lawyer was consulted and my son needed a psychiatrist. We are secular but it’s still my biggest fear making friends and keeping them.

@FunFilmFare

2 жыл бұрын

@@KeaIrene23 There's homeschool programs that allow socializing amongst kids, in a safer environment that parents can directly control.

@KeaIrene23

2 жыл бұрын

@@FunFilmFare oo. Do happen to know any of the names? That’s something worth looking into.

@lunanuna8144

2 жыл бұрын

My mom is homeschooling my little brother because she thinks the tribulation starts soon, The problem is, she also is neglectful, and ten years too old to have a kid, so now she's while neglected me in her youth, now she's also too old to remain patient while being so

When you said that you had a parasocial relationship with the kids in these filmed lessons 🥺 Oh Elly... I had a pretty lonely childhood, too, but not to this extent. I can't imagine. I wish you nothing but a happy, healing life 💖

@krisztinakovacs4593

Жыл бұрын

That part really resonated with me, too. While I grew up secular, I was raised by divorced parents: primarily by a socially awkward, neurodivergent, poor father, and secondarily by a narcissistic mother. Both were extremely negligent and could not relate to me, a queer and also neurodivergent child, at all. I went to a school where most kids were quite well off, and was bullied from early on and had close to none friendships. As a result, I formed parasocial relationships with my favorite singers and book characters. During my teen years I was extremely lonely and depressed, I'm pretty sure these "relationships" kept me alive.

as a finnish person, pledges to any flags as a part of a school day seems absolutely asinine. i can't believe its so normal there

@kerstinfransen5639

2 жыл бұрын

I know right! it always comes across as very creepy and cult like to me.

@cfoster6804

Жыл бұрын

I skip it.

@deneshiahonadel6387

Жыл бұрын

My children are taught not to do it unless they want to and understand why they’re doing it. I’d ban it all together (because it’s crappy af and breeds nationalism) but I’m trying to raise critical thinkers lol

@pyrettablaze4325

Жыл бұрын

I’m training to be a teacher in the US, and I’ve always thought it weird at best, but if you try to criticize it people will accuse you of being anti-American 😒

@greglocker2124

Жыл бұрын

They threatened to expel me if I didn't "say the pledge" in 5th grade. This is in Illinois which is very much not-conservative.

the sheer vindication i felt when you began explaining how "daily" videos weren't so daily made me almost *scream*. We were also ALWAYS behind! We were always so busy with church or with going places (visiting sick family that lived states and states away) and not to mention the SHEER amount of homework, and the super-high standards-- my partner has told me multiple times that Abeka's standards are WAY too high and they give WAY too much work. VINDICATION!!!!

@adriand6883

2 жыл бұрын

Abeka is crazy rigorous, like seriously. Once I got to college I found my English classes were way easier. Same with gen bio. The amount Abeka wants you to do in high school is like college amount of work. My parents let me skip a bunch of stuff, and I still constantly felt overwhelmed.

@cfoster6804

Жыл бұрын

Lincoln Learning is the same and it's secular, common core.

@quelll7143

Жыл бұрын

Why was every homeschooler behind??! Because same. I took on the stress my parents spewed. It was crazy when I went to college and suddenly I realized for the first time that I was smart, like graduate with a 3.9-level smart. Having the structure of a schedule and not constantly changing curriculums was so helpful, but damn school is stressful for me still

It seems kind of twisted to make homeschooled kids watch videos of kids in normal classrooms. D:

My parents neglected my education through fundie homeschooling my entire life. One of the many abuses that made life alot harder down the road and made me think it was all my failing

It always blows my mind how long the Bible excerpts we've had to memorize as children are.

@crowdedcar

2 жыл бұрын

my abeka homeschooling coop had us write Bible verses for detention. we started after school with genesis 1.1, and kept writing until our parents arrived to pick us up while our peers played outside. I had all of genesis 1 memorized at one point 😬

@boojersey13

2 жыл бұрын

@@crowdedcar Lmaoooo I had detention only once in my life so I can't EXACTLY relate but if we claimed we didn't have homework to be done, it was straight to copying the teacher stuck monitoring at the time's book of choice (book of the Bible of course)

My story sounds so very similar to yours. I was homeschooled starting mid elementary using Abeka. So much abuse was allowed to happen due to the amount of time away from others. I was part of co-ops and 4-h, but my 4h group went above and beyond in that everyone in my particular group was homeschooled and Christian. I went Pensacola Christian College and actually still work for "the cult", but have been deconstructing silently. I hope to get completely out very soon, and hope to be able to be my true and kind self. THANK YOU for the time and effort you put in and thank you for letting others know that they are not alone.

@melissabattles3196

2 жыл бұрын

I also grew up in a fundamentalist homeschool family, and then went to and graduated from PCC. I'm so sorry you're having to stay in this difficult position right now, as I remember the amount of control the administration had, not only over us as students, but over the teachers and other faculty as well. I've been an atheist since about August of 2019, and I'm so glad to be free of the world that stole so much of my life from me. I hope you're able to get out of your situation soon! Best wishes to you!

@ExFundieDiaries

2 жыл бұрын

@Fallen Star I second what @Melissa Battles said- Hoping you're able to get out soon and wishing you the best!!

@julieebeem1981

2 жыл бұрын

deconstructing is hard. the process is as bad as it sounds. but the freedom that comes is beyond worth it!

@melissabattles3196

2 жыл бұрын

@@julieebeem1981 YES! Absolutely!

@fallenstar786

2 жыл бұрын

@@melissabattles3196 Thank you so much for your encouraging words! My husband and I are officially leaving in 2 months and while there will be a ton of phycological stuff to sort through it is amazing just to have a physical end in sight.

Hearing about your experience of not knowing *NSYNC as a child and daydreaming of the kids in the Abeka dvds being your friends is so heartbreaking 😔 I’m really glad you’re healing from such religious trauma.

As someone who was isolated during their youth (especially from age 12-15), it feels oddly comforting to know I'm not alone in my experiences. I wasn't isolated for religious reasons but my isolation did effect me long term. I was incredibly awkward and anxious in social situations. Socialization is so incredibly important for children and it's heartbreaking there are still parents/guardians isolating their kids and keeping them from learning basic social skills.

@elfodelputoinfierno

Жыл бұрын

Same. Overprotective parents, they adultified me yada yada yada. Nowdays I'm much more comfortable talking to people twice my age than teens or kids or young adults. Yay/s

as someone who grew up secular that “class” was so creepy!!!! they aren’t actually learning anything how horrible

@annewhittemore3771

2 жыл бұрын

They do learn a ton of valid school work too, but yeah that made me cringe so much. What a creepy teacher. I’ve seen a lot of the abeka curriculum and taught it randomly in k4 for a semester and it was pretty good and fun, and didn’t have us chanting verses together. Maybe I skipped it and can’t remember? 😂 I think that was the Bible class mainly? We didn’t do that.

@gilesclone

Жыл бұрын

I saw a lot of rote memorization. This has time and time again been shown to be a terrible way to learn anything.

Currently researching the damaging effects of fundamentalist christianity for my Theology MA, so I stumbled across your videos. This one broke my heart 😩 so sorry you had to go through this. Loving binge watching your videos x

My mom was given some abeka books, and I think I got 2 chapters into a science book and told her absolutely not. It was like reading a sermon with a few science facts sprinkled in, and not even an interesting sermon. She found a different book we already owned for me to read instead. I can't imagine going through the entire curriculum, I think I would be bored to death. I learned so little science, although it was a lot more than abeka taught. My husband is always having to explain basic highschool science concepts to me.

@ExFundieDiaries

2 жыл бұрын

"A sermon with a few science facts sprinkled in"! Totally!!

@CM-sy3to

2 жыл бұрын

Try purchasing any Abeka Jr or Sr High School science textbook now and see if you still believe it is just religious indoctrination with science facts sprinked in, now that you are an adult. The entire Abeka curriculum is actually a 1950's public school textbook series that Abeka introduced at younger grades than the public schools used (i.e. 5th grade public school curriculum became 3rd grade Abeka curriculum). This is also why all but advanced students can feel stressed by the curriculum because it is beyond their ability at their current age because it was written for the average student in a higher grade, 1950's public school.

@corbindreym6476

2 жыл бұрын

@@CM-sy3to Abeka was founded in 1972. But I can assure you that as an adult I would find them even less scientific. I'm not about to waste my money on a book that endorses young earth creationism and other pseudo scientific ideas. Also multiple universities have found them to be at a lower educational level compared to public school curriculum.

@CM-sy3to

2 жыл бұрын

​@@corbindreym6476 I know it would be hard for you to look at a science book today that might shake your memories into an adult reality that things are not as you recall from childhood. While you may dislike creationism, Abeka textbooks are primarily secular with only "window dressing" of religion added in. A truly Liberal Education presents all beliefs, especially when one has a strong bias, with a thorough examination of the arguments from each side. Yes, Abeka was founded in 1972, but the actual textbooks and readers were from an older public school publisher and had been used in public schools before Engel v. Vitale on June 25, 1962, and Abington School District v. Schempp on June 17, 1963 when Bible references and the teaching of Christianity was removed from the public schools. Abeka likes to hide this history, but as a collector of old textbooks, I stumbled across a few that were "repurposed" by Abeka and then did the research back in the 1990's on the real history of the Abeka curriculum which was still using the old public school textbooks branded under Abeka. They also now claim to be one of the first supporters of the homeschool movement, but in reality they would not sell their curriculum to homeschoolers in the early 1980's and would threaten any Christian school who wanted to provide their textbooks to local homeschoolers. I'm not a fan of Abeka or the people who control PCC. I have used their phonics materials, which are excellent. However, the idea that Abeka textbooks are primarily religious indoctrination with a smattering of factual content is a gross misrepresentation.

@corbindreym6476

2 жыл бұрын

@@CM-sy3to I'm in college right now in a STEM major. Chill bro

We are a secular homeschool family and this breaks my heart. The first time I read through part of that curriculum, I was firmly and and vehemently opposed to Christian curriculum (even though I identify as a Jesus follower). It never felt like it was about a good relationship with Jesus, but a breeding ground for u questioning obedience and abuse.

@TracyMcElroy

2 жыл бұрын

I agree. We are also a secular homeschool family and I would consider myself “religious lite”. Our life looks so much different. This was heartbreaking to watch but I’m so glad that she has an outlet now to work this stuff out.

@kathleenh2782

2 жыл бұрын

i'm a junior in HS- been homeschooled since the beginning of 4th grade. we used a bit of a christian curriculum at first (later found out it was created by a cult), and ended up ditching it. i left school bc of my chronic fatal disease- i could barely function when i'd come home, i'd sleep, eat, and then go back to sleep for the night. it was terrible. now i'm in musical theatre and many other extracurriculars since i now have the energy! we've had a ton of bumps in the road but it's been a stark improvement.

@elizabethsmith3374

2 жыл бұрын

(please take into consideration this was years ago so I could be misremembering and it could have changed since the late 90s to early 2000s) I thinking what Mardels sells is good Christian base textbooks with no indoctrination. It's what my Christian private school used but again I was in Pre-K to 3rd from I think 99 or 00 to 06 (if my calculations are right) so it may have changed

I was homeschooled my whole life and feel very stupid compared to a lot of my peers my education is only up to 8th grade if that and it has hindered me in my daily life and my desire to go to college because my skills are so Little I know I'd never pass the test and struggle . I was indoctrinated also and that was the biggest part of my education that's all that mattered and it was very lonely I still have a hard time fitting in and feeling validated because of my upbringing

@lisachristinaconfirmed5067

2 жыл бұрын

@Mikaela Moyher, why is your education only to 8th grade ?

@ajc94

2 жыл бұрын

You're not stupid! You were failed by the adults in your life

@shaydawn7376

2 жыл бұрын

Go to college, you may find that you're not as behind as you think you are, and even if you are there are remedial courses to catch you up. 😊

@ur-local-lesbian-comrade

2 жыл бұрын

I believe in you! It has nothing to do with you or your ability to learn. The people who were supposed to be teaching you failed you and didn’t teach you the skills you needed. this isn’t your fault.

This broke my heart because this is exactly what happened to me. I was in Abeka from 6th grade until I graduated in 2021 and it broke me. I was so lonely it almost drove me to do something I would regret. I am still trying my best to recover and reintegrate into the world since I was completely isolated. My parents didn't care so I would finish my lessons and then just sleep for hours on end. My childhood was literally thrown away and there's nothing I can do to get it back. I'm so emotionally stunted from this that I'm stumbling my way through life. It's horrible. Sure, I'm educated enough. I graduated high school with honors and have a 4.0 in my current college, but I have no idea how to interact with people my age. It makes me feel like such an outcast, and this video is the first time I've felt seen.

@violetm.7194

8 ай бұрын

hey I know this comment is from a year ago but i just want you to know you're not alone. i was raised in the same way and have felt very similarly to how you describe. I'm here if you ever need support.

This is exactly my experience too. I will say my mom tried a bit more school wise, but the isolation is *killer*. And the lack of references to common pop culture has affected me and my ability to make connections even into my professional life. I remember planning out conversations and activities that I would do with my 2 friends for a week, only to see them for 15 minutes on a Sunday

I tried Abeka with my kids two years ago and we didn’t even finish a month after paying the ridiculous amount. I could see the stress it was putting on my oldest with the videos and because she is very literal, I didn’t want her taking everything they say as fact. My husband is also a disabled veteran and my kiddos primary stay at home parent, and the books referred to the parent figure as mom. It even still had a page on mom ironing at home. Dad is the “worker” and “head of the house”

Thank you for sharing your experiences! I am thankful thats not my experience- I am blessed for my school experience and benefitted a lot from my parents as teachers. I socialized well and feel well adjusted. Its important to hear your experience so I am glad to have come across it!

I'm British and none of my family or even friends are religious but for some reason I got one of your videos on my recommended page. It's fascinating to hear about your experience but also incredibly saddening. I'm so glad you were able to escape and share your experience with us. You come across as very articulate and intelligent!

To stress over a wrong used name over years showes how shame about doing something wrong was an important tool when you where raised

Literally the most relatable channel I think I've ever seen. I feel so seen on this channel and it's so inspiring to feel seen! I'm 16 and currently using abeka myself and it feels SO good to feel so seen

@lmsthomas89

2 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry. Run away.

@JP2GiannaT

2 жыл бұрын

You're telling a teenager to run away from home? No. From one former homeschooler to another, stick it out two more years, get some community college if you can, and then strike it out on your own.

@miscalotastuff733

2 жыл бұрын

Can you move in with another family member?

I didn't grow up fundamentalist, but God did I grow up *super* lonely. You being so open about the more "strange" habits of coping, is really comforting and relatable. Thank you for this video.

As a public school teacher, it breaks my heart how parents don’t put their children first; my #1 priority is setting my child up for success in this life. I don’t understand the point in having kids if that’s not the main focus.

@mikaela5938

Жыл бұрын

the point of these families isn't that because the point of them having children is just to make more cult followers

@believestthouthis7

Жыл бұрын

Parents giving their children to other people to raise (daycare, babysitters, public schooling) is parents making their children their "main focus"? ...That's what most parents are doing today.

Thank you for sharing your story. Honestly, we share nearly the same story: being kept in isolation and desperate for social interaction, homeschooled with the Abeka curriculum, censored from worldly things, and having overwhelming anxiety. My parents forced me into this isolation as well. They were, and still are, obsessed with isolating me from every aspect of the world. It has caused me a lot of pain, and I've suffered trauma from being so out of touch with the world. I was even allowed to go to 4H, though my mom attended every meeting with me. I also attended a co-op, though everyone was much younger than me. I only got to interact with people near my age when I started college, though I was much younger than my college classmates, and my mom stayed outside my college, which also limited my social interactions. Im still struggling with the aftermath of my education. My parents never taught me either. To this day, my mom uses how I taught myself as if it were her accomplishment. I have always loved learning but struggled without guidance and proper teaching. My mom gave me abeka books and old college books that she would heavily censor, and I would independently read and teach myself with. The only skills she taught me were "wife lessons", to teach me how to become a wife and mother. I have a severe lack of knowledge about many subjects because I wasn't taught worldly things, like non-biblical world history. I wasn't even taught basic biology, even about periods and male and female anatomy. I learned the latter rather harshly after being assaulted at 19, which might have been prevented if I had any sort of education about it.

Wow, this video was shockingly triggering. The video footage made me relive some very deeply hidden memories. I am a current public school teacher who was raised by a pastor. I’m gay and now estranged from my family. I am only recently beginning my deconstruction and this was so meaningful. Can I ask, where is the deconstruction community is there a Reddit or somewhere, I feel so lost in this journey.

The imaginary video friends section had me fucking BAWLING!! That is so sad, but also so so relatable on a deep level. I used to pretend characters in books were my friends, characters in movies, and eventually I made up my own characters and wrote stories where I was the main character and I went to school with them. I want to send younger me so many hugs, but tbh these validating videos feel like a hug from you to me. Thank you for sharing.

Wow. Every parent should not homeschool. Shout out to all the homeschooling parents that make it a fun, consistent, and structured environment for their children where the kids grow into well functioning adults. Let this be motivation to be a good homeschooling parent, and know if you can't handle it, send the child to school. Do what's in the child's best interest, not you as the parent.

@maneckineckbeard1749

2 жыл бұрын

This!!! Although I initially considered homeschooling, it became apparent very early on that my oldest child simply didn't have the temperament to learn effectively if "mom" was also "teacher." And my next child was equally unsuitable for homeschooling, albeit for different reasons. This doesn't mean that I don't have the highest respect for responsible homeschooling parents...merely that many parents don't homeschool responsibly and/or for reasons that are in their children's best interests. I passionately believe that children should only ever be homeschooled when it's in THEIR best interests, and NEVER for reasons involving their parents own personal issues with ego, fear, religion, etc. It's a simple fact that many parents (as well as many kids) simply are not cut out for homeschooling, and responsible parents should know and respect that reality!

I grew up homeschooled on on Abeka videos. 20 years later now as an atheist, I look back on those videos in absolute disgust. Thank you for posting this video and reminding me I’m not alone.

Wow, it's pretty remarkable that you've come so far from that lonely kid... I struggled with really bad social anxiety as a child and had a hard time making friends, so I can relate a bit, even though I went to public school. Thank you for sharing.

I went to private Christian schools and felt really lonely as a child. I remember when we would be driving somewhere at night I would look at the lights outside the window and the lights reflecting on the window and pretend they were my friends. I even remember crying to myself as they disappeared from view.

I was homeschooled by my single mom for two years (what would have been 8th and 9th) because the local public school district didn't have a good policy regarding bullying -- the final straw for her was being asked to pay for my science book that another kid had thrown in the aquarium, in class and in full view of the teacher... who I honestly believe had a nervous breakdown that year. Teaching, even when you have a degree in education, is a very hard job. The "Homeschool Book Fair" was a huge bust -- though Mom was able to use the grammar book to "test me out" of that aspect and start doing more writing instead. The only thing that kept me from throwing the supposedly excellent American History textbook across the room was that it was expensive and we could sell it later and get our money back. I got to where it was praising the idea of "Manifest Destiny" and just couldn't. The curriculum that was workbooks (Alpha Omega) for biology was so easy/boring/flat out WRONG that when I showed her a specific page (arguing that creation made more sense than evolution) she agreed it was not what she wanted me to learn. So Mom dug out her college textbooks for both American History and Western Civ, then verified with my friends from that prior school's parents what the reading lists were for various grades. I didn't just write one paper after reading either a history lesson or a book -- I had to write at least 3 papers forr eacch. First draft, revision, and final -- and they were always graded (she could always find some way I could have expressed myself better -- was a shock when I went back to public school and received a 100% on my first paper. No red ink at all.) I was supposed to have all my assigned work done, plus any laundry for both of us and a hot meal prepared when Mom got home, and in the evenings (after she ate, heh) and weekends she worked hard to grade work and design/adjust lesson plans for the next day/week, then started on the work she had brought home with her. (You can tell I admire her grit.) But she knew that she was weak in math and science. The Saxon math curriculum was the best we found (it explained a lot in the text itself, and the structure of the homework/quizzes is mostly review of what you already learned and then some problems from the current lesson) -- it was great for people who were not the best at math, but would bore kids who are great at it to death. For science, she found the University of Nebraska at Lincoln's program for homeschooled middle and high school kids -- Chemistry came with home lab stuff, which was fun (and a little concerning to my mom cuz part of it involved fire -- heh). As for socialization.... I was one of the first minors in my local area to acquire a modem, install it, and start calling local BBSes in the summer between sixth and seventh grade. I was 12, my mother knew absolutely nothing about computers except that they were the future, and so felt my interest should be encouraged. So I was able to talk to real people in my area that I'd met in person at various "BBS Parties", and a wide variety of people at that. I was called the "first juvie" because soon other teenagers started calling. When I posted something juvenile in hindsight there was always at least one person who had no problem with correcting my uninformed opinion. And they were all mostly cool people. That was my socialization lifeline -- and when i re-entered public school I tested out of enough material to enter as a junior rather than a sophomore, so I wasn't in classes with people who remembered that I was the kid to pick on. -------- I definitely agree that insisting on homeschooling, even in a two-parent household with one at home all day, can do significant damage to a child -- but each kid is different (something fundie parents don't seem to get). I also completely agree that most of the curriculum other parents were using made me *angry* -- if that's all kids get to learn, it IS unhealthy indoctrination that will not help the kid in the real world. But before Mom passed away, she had seen the commercials for "virtual schools" (the ones before COVID) that are (allegedly) teaching the same material as public, secular school. She said she would have JUMPED on that as an option if it had been available even in the 4th grade -- that year I got two concussions and a broken arm. i truly feel bad for what you went through, hon, and I'm glad you've found a place in life where you can be your whole authentic self. Thank you for creating this channel to speak your truth. I also desperately want changes to the laws in many "homeschool friendly" states -- back then, every year we had to fill out a form with what subjects would be taught that year, and I had to take a yearly standardized test. Now people in my state can never enroll their kids in any school OR have to fill out a detailed form, and there's no yearly check-in that shows they are still alive and not bruised, plus that they ARE learning. The new lax laws are a recipe for all kinds of abuse being able to be hidden for years/decades.

Thank you so much for this video. I remember having some of the same issues growing up on Abeka videos, neglected by my "at home teacher," and feeling socially unfit and isolated. This really helps me feel less alone and I am so grateful for your videos ❤️

I was homeschooled and i absolutely hated it I felt shame and had severe depression I would cry and beg my mom to send me to school and would get into trouble I wasn’t allowed to speak about it. WE NEED LAWS ON THIS Homeschooled kids are invisible and they feel it.

i agree that homeschooling made my social anxiety way worse. it still effects me bc i never had interaction with kids my age and i still cant make friends now

Like you fantasized about being friends with the kids in Abeka classroom, I fantasize about having rational friends like you. I have elementary aged kids and they choose their own friends. I find that their parents are Christian conservative, judgmental and intolerant. They impose their views and beliefs on me in a way that I do not do to them. It feels lonely and I feel trapped because pissing them off means having them forbid their children from playing with mine. And those are my kids best friends!

@jessicamontaperto810

2 жыл бұрын

That’s horrible & sad.

@thelegacyladyathome

2 жыл бұрын

I felt the exact same way . Our stories are very similar and I also used the abeka curriculum.

I am so sorry to hear about your experience. I was also homeschooled and there was good and there was bad. My parents were great and did what they could. I was growing up in a foreign country, so it was homeschool or go to the local school (and I did not want to do that). I had structure but I also had a lot of freedom. I didn’t love our curriculum, but it was ok. I did a few of the Abeka videos (like 1-2 in high school), but definitely not as my whole education. I’m currently homeschooling my kids and I’m hoping to make it an even better experience. A time to learn and grow together and help them pursue their passions.

@blueberrybird28

2 жыл бұрын

It’s not nice to see someone who had a similar experience. I also grew up overseas and homeschooling was the most convenient options since we were on the go. There was good and bad. I wish you luck as you homeschool your kids and give them a better experience then either of us had 😊

You are brave for putting yourself out there... I'm a German teacher, and when we talk about schooling, I mention that homeschooling is illegal in Germany... and this is why, but I'm always hesitant to get into mentioning religious reasons because I don't want to offend anyone.

@janecarroll1485

2 жыл бұрын

Is quality education for ALL students? It’s NOT like that in the USA.

@SpecialBlanket

2 жыл бұрын

No, you NEED to mention religious reasons because religious homeschooling is overwhelmingly abusive and abusive homeschooling is overwhelmingly religious. Disability is another major reason people do it because in the US it's hard to get equal education in public schools with a serious disability (they're supposed to figure out how to do it but in reality they don't), and without mentioning religion as the specific cause, people are going to think the practical reasons aren't real.

@nparksntx

2 жыл бұрын

I know it was outlawed in the early 1900s is there any primary source from back then that says that was the reason?

@idork7302

Жыл бұрын

Its definitely not illegal, I was homeschooled in Germany along with several others in a Christian co-op that I attended until I moved

Ughhhhh....I'm so sorry...I'm an artist and when I was in graduate school at Pensacola Christian College I worked for aBeka Book. I did mostly graphic design, but my one and only painted illustration was of the rat tailed maggot in a science book. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I actually loved my time there...but now I cringe. I STILL have nightmares REGULARLY about that place. Holy PTSD....and it's been nearly 23 years.

@melissabattles3196

2 жыл бұрын

LOL, I feel your pain. I was a Commercial Art major for two years at PCC before changing my major to English. And YES, as you said, no matter how long you've been away from that place, the nightmares are real!!! I actually just had another one a few days ago, and I graduated way back in the olden days of 2007, LOL.

@amberamazine

2 жыл бұрын

The only good thing about PCC was the Drowsy Poet coffee shop that was right there at the entrance. I went to PJC (PSC now I guess) but I would always drive over for coffee.

Man that clip unearthed some ultra repressed PTSD.

I just found your videos, and they really help me. I’m around the same age as you, and grew up in a fundie-adjacent environment. I went to public school, but because my home and church education was essentially unlearning everything I learned in school, I was always isolated and had an impossible time making friends. I started crying hearing you talk about how you wished the kids in the videos had their recess filmed so you could watch. I felt the same way with a series of Christian books my mom had me read when I was a kid. It’s so sad, and I feel such a solidarity with you. I’m so glad you’re doing better now.

I was homeschooled k-8 and enrolled in a cyber school 9-12, so I was home k-12. This resonated so much. Just hearing you acknowledge the loneliness and isolation and deep need for community and belonging means a lot.

Those videos triggered me…. I remember all of those lessons…. Sadly. Being Queer and now Identifying as a trans woman, I was bullied allot in Christian school… brought me back to a dark time. I feel like I was thrown into a cult honestly being Baptist and raised on A beka as a younger child.

I loved 4H ! I had a really good friend in 4H that was homeschooled and was very religious she reached out to me a few years ago when she left her faith and now we have “sin nights” a few times every year were we swear and drink and once we even got tattoos! She once called me an anchor when she little and I still think about that all the time

WOW, I wasn’t expecting to see abeka! I went to Pensacola Christian academy. They source all the abeka materials. Even the homeschool class videos now! In middle school I was diagnosed with Tourette’s and had to sit in the back of my 8th grade history video class (they record the teacher and then zoom out to the students when they interact). I was in one video because my teacher was feeling especially petty that day and he made me stand up and answer a question and I literally sobbed silently the rest of the class. (I was and is {less so, now} very sensitive and socially and internally anxious, and now I know I am autistic)... my mom chewed his ear off that night!! Haha. Don’t even get me started on the sheer stress of that school, causing me multiple tic attacks and panic attacks from staying up till 12 to study and finish homework (especially since I had an unrecognized learning disability) and having to go to er because I throw out my neck or truly feel like I am having a heart attack... AT 12! We had 3 final exams in the last three days of the week AND second class on Monday! They worked us like dogs! Don’t even get me started on the dress codes, people being expelled after getting outted for any queer identity (still miss you Michael and Isabelle :-(...) the creepy male student guidance councilor, the rules rules rules, so much more, etc etc... my mom had to pull me and my sibs out because even she was shocked by that “robot factory” as she’d call it LOLLL! I will gladly answer any questions of Pensacola cult academy as ex students call it in my area, I’d be happy to answer in replies! -a nonbinary freak of nature with tons of religious trauma P.s, they STILL use old projectors and chalkboard and bible class being “homeroom” for a whole period...

@amk879

2 жыл бұрын

Fellow PCA’er. I want to guess who the teacher was soooo bad. I’m sorry you experienced that, but completely understand as I went through similar in my years there, all of k4-12. Elementary seemed okay, middle school the work load got heavy, high school was too much and I couldn’t keep up. I had detention weekly from having to pick and choose which hw subjects to finish because there was no way I could do it all. Or for just looking at the clock to check the time. The mental stress, the body image issues from dress check being paraded out of the classroom in a line in front of all the boys so Ms F could tell us we were dressing inappropriately when we were doing the best we could, the brainwashing about roles and sex and life in general, the twisting and god-washing over every single subject. Having to spend hours in Mr C’s office grilling and threatening me about a note they found regarding a pregnant friend who they eventually found and expelled. It was a lot.

@quinnyharls

Жыл бұрын

I really wanna know who the teacher was 😭

It’s so nice to hear other people’s stories about this type of upbringing. I was homeschooled all the way with pretty much nothing outside the house. I’ve been so lonely for so long, but knowing how many others have gone through similar stuff makes me feel much less alone

Sweetie, don't worry so much about the twin's name error. I'm a twin and it has happened so many times in my life, few instances stand out in my mind. One of only things that stand out to me in elementary school is some girl I didn't know came up to me and proudly told me she could tell us apart. Curious, I asked her how. She said that my sister was the prettier one then she ran off very happily. I was left feeling insulted. Good times. Good times.

@rachelk4805

2 жыл бұрын

I have literally called myself by my sister's name. 🤷

@michelleeisele3329

2 жыл бұрын

I'm not a twin, but I have a sister a few years younger than me and even when we were younger and our age difference was more obvious no one could ever keep us straight. When I got married and moved away from my hometown, people that didn't even know I had a sister somehow still managed to call me by her name! It has never offended me, we both get it. I was watching that part thinking, honey! Don't worry about it. But I also know how those *core memories* can form and it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, the feelings are still there.

This hits so close to home it's unreal. Thank you for sharing this. I grew up as a missionary kid who was homeschooled my whole life. I honestly get choked up listening to you talk about having imaginary conversations with other kids to cope with the loneliness. I would often do the same, even into my teen years. I was lucky to have parents who were involved very heavily in making sure I succeeded academically, and for that I'm grateful, but with the caveat that they were invested in pushing the indoctrination of the Bob Jones Academy curriculum we were using. Any friendships with those outside the church were heavily restricted, and our church was so small that for a period from about 8 until 18 years old, I had no one my age I could spend time with, with the exception of summer camps once a year. Watching this today was very moving and I want to thank you again for sharing it and I wish you the best moving forward.

I've wondered a couple of times watching this, what was your parent's education like? I'm so glad on your behalf that your grandparent helped you. We moved to a small country town in Australia when I was a baby, and lived across the road from homeschooled Christian fundamentalists. Because of limited people, having two little girls of the same age living across the road meant they would be friends, whether their parents belief structures fully aligned or not, we were going to play. We moved away and then back when I was 9, and by that time my best friend Sorelle had been part of several different homeschools, and would describe to me how strict they were (being caned for using red pen because that's a 'Satanic' colour) but seeing the actual curriculum makes me so sad on her behalf. Luckily she was able to go to a reasonably mainstream Christian high school and escaped overseas as soon as she had enough money. Her older sister sadly was completely indocrinated, married at 18 and now has 10+ kids. Watching your videos is bringing back so many memories - because my parents were somewhat open minded they let me go to church with Sorelle a few times and I remember her father saying that he wasn't able to speak in tongues, and all the adults discussing it. I should say my mum was a teacher and my dad was an artist so they definitely were NOT of the same belief structures (used to call one family the off-Whites), but they wanted to let me see it for myself and make up my own mind. I'm incredibly grateful I grew up on the side of the road I did, and maybe our presence made some small difference for them. Side note, it's fascinating as someone who journalled through their teens and early 20s, but as an atheist, how similar our questioning of life is. Almost as if it's a universal human experience.... Anyway, sorry for the essay, I'm absolutely loving your videos and keep up the amazing work.

As someone who has used A Beka book and has been homeschooled from 4th-12th grade, personally in my experience my parents weren’t as strict in the whole video thing… I definitely had to get my schoolwork done but it was me and my little sisters choice if we wanted to read the scriptures and as we got older we just did the work ourselves and my mom checked and graded it. It’s important that parents make an effort to socialize their children while being homeschooled whether that’s Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts or jointing a co-op, but homeschooled children are far more socialized in society because they aren’t stuck in a classroom for 8hrs of the day with the same people all year. That is not meeting new people. I got far more socialization going to the grocery store and my parents pushing me to talk to the cashiers when paying for what I wanted (if I happened to get birthday money until I was old enough to get a job). It was also a lesson because it taught me money management and saving up for something I wanted, making sure I got the exact change I was supposed to get back, etc. volunteering was also another aspect of socialization for me being homeschooled, but that was not something I was pushed into doing that was something I wanted to do. I too came from a Christian household, however it is the parents job to guide us in the churches and guide us with morals etc. personally using this curriculum, I did not find that it was indoctrinating children. I have fallen from my faith in my teen years, my parents did not push me which is how it should be and I found my own way back. My faith is not stronger than ever. Back to the A Beka videos, I didn’t personally watch them, however, after watching these videos, personally I do not find any indoctrination. They weren’t really teaching that you should accept a set of beliefs unconditionally (that’s what indoctrination is) they were just simply talking about it. It’s about how you feel personally. I do understand that your parents made you watch it (and the first kid video was a little strict when it came to the Bible verses and then adding a word, but in the Bible it’s against adding or taking away from the written scriptures. The teacher did not go about it in a good way in the video which I do agree with you on) when you did not want to watch it. But indoctrination is not the right word for that. For example, if you keep repeating to a classroom the earth is flat, that if you don’t believe that then god is going to kill you and that other religions are wrong when they tell you the earth is round, and you keep pushing that on your students, not only is the fear mongering, it’s teaching them that they better believe that the earth is flat or god is going to kill them. Which by definition would be indoctrination. Indoctrination - the process of teaching a group or person to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. Personally for me, no one has ever pushed me into believing. My parents guided me through the church but it was always up to me if I carried that in my heart or not. For 3 years out of my teens I fell out of my faith. My parents still loved me and guided me, but I was not pushed into it at all. Then on my own terms, I came back to my faith. Which is how it should be. We shouldn’t push people into believing. We should be there to guide them, but they have the make that decision for themselves. We should love them no matter what.

@libertycheshire8887

2 жыл бұрын

I would also like to add… after 12th grade, I went to college and had no problem socializing with the adults there after coming right of of being homeschooled and put into a public classroom setting at college. It’s the parents duty to make sure their child is getting that socialization.

This speaks to me so much. I was homeschooled my entire life. I have never attended an actual school. Like you, I did co-op and it was once a week. I have good memories of camp and riding my bike there on the paved road. I also remember my intense loneliness and the way my mother never wanted to really participate in my schooling. I was often sat in front of the tv and told to take notes. I was constantly behind and had very little contact with anyone outside of my home. Seeing this video brought up so many feelings and memories… I cried. I wish I could give you a big hug! I am so thankful to be on the other side of Christian extremism now. I’m happy as a queer atheist with my own family and a strong determination to raise my son with joy, confidence, security, ect. He will never have to endure what I did.

I really relate to your sentiments and struggles in this video. I can’t comprehend the kinds of people who isolate and indoctrinate their children in this way. It sets one up for social and emotional problems for the rest of their life…

Omg! Pioneer club I hadn’t thought about that in ages. I was homeschooled all the way through too by fundies and wow I relate and feel so seen. This is like exactly what I’ve been unpacking about my social anxiety in therapy and how it’s linked to being an outsider when I was around other kids. Everywhere I went.

I was homeschooled from 1st-12th grade. A lot of your story really resonates with me. I've struggled my whole life to describe the loneliness that I felt growing up. I've just felt scarred for so many years. Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to know that I'm not the only one.

@smpittsburgh264

2 жыл бұрын

Children that are in other educational settings suffer from loneliness and isolation. I was bullied from about mid-elementary on. Public school was not a good place for me...I lived in survival mode. I say this for those who think another school setting would have minimized or eliminated their social struggles; in truth, it may have not, it could have been worse.

I used to use the abeka dvds when I was a kid. I blocked out so much of that but watching it now it’s crazy to see the blatant indoctrination especially with such young kids. She was my teacher too I remember her. What do first graders need to know about adultery for anyways. What kind of six year old is cheating on their so

@bunnymomjulie6719

2 жыл бұрын

Haha! I think it's so they can start judging adults around them already at age 6. So they can distinguish a good person from a bad person.

I wonder if Abraham Lincoln also watched DVDs😅

Oh my god! Are you me? I was in pioneer club AND I went to homeschool co-op AND I was homeschooled with Abeka! I remember that history teacher, Mr. McBride, so well! I found your channel today and it’s crazy how much we have in common.

I remember seeing video footage from inside a Muslim madrasa and the Abeka video section is eerily similar to it: Rote memorization and programming.

I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I want to go back in time and be your friend 🥹 No child should feel that anxious and alone. I hope you are finding healing. Sending you so much love. My son just started kindy, and I was a little nervous about it but this reminded me that it's 100000% the right thing for him and us. Thank you for sharing your story. 💕

I went to a small catholic school and loved it, my mum was a feminist, my dad was not religious. They want me to have the choice to believe or not and feel independant, proud to be a girl. I am lucky . Thank you for helping others with your vidéos

I am wondering if you know about Coalition for Responsible Homeschool Education and the work they do with kids getting out of this situation? It's a great organization. I don't have this experience, but I have met a few other ex-fundies like yourself, and I was shocked to learn about what they experienced.

@ExFundieDiaries

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, I do! I love them!!

If I hadn’t seen your introduction, I would have guessed the A Beka video was an SNL skit. Why in the world would anyone teach preschoolers anything involving adultery?! So heartbreaking that your childhood was so lonely. It’s tough enough being a kid, trying to fit in. A childhood designed to keep you isolated is horrifying and abusive. From the glimpses of your childhood that come from the home videos of you and Annie, you seem like bright, funny, cool and beautiful young girls who would have been popular and well-adjusted kids in school.

Well shit looks like I'm talking to my therapist about this on Wednesday. This shit just triggered my PTSD with a quickness. I was stuck at home alone with Abeka for 4th and 5th grade, shit went sooooo wrong with me mentally because of the isolation neglect and abuse those 2 years.

Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability. Your voice helps a lot of people.

Thank God you have freedom now. I think this channel is awesome! live life to the fullest, don’t be afraid to experience anything you missed!

Ya know what... I am grateful for this platform as it is truly a sea of knowledge. I am not nor ever was a home schooled kid, nor a fundamentalist Christian and had no idea this was a thing. I am so sorry for all of you that experienced this trauma. The reason I came to this channel was purely because I was considering homeschooling my girls after they finish in their Montessori school. I am sure there are many good programs out there, but I am convinced that the loneliness and "other-ism" would still be something that could potentially be damaging? Thanks for putting this out there, and for everyone who commented sharing their experiences too. Bless you all. ((hugs))

I was homeschooled preschool through high school graduation, we did Abeka from like 4th-8th grade. I remember not being able to keep up with the scripture recitations at the beginning of the lessons, feeling humiliated standing up and singing in the dining room along with the kids in Florida, being incredibly bored, feeling very lonely / wondering what it would be like to be with other kids, and anxiously fidgeting around all day because of undiagnosed ADHD. some of the junior high teachers are especially very creepy. sorry you had to go thru this, too. I was so confused by the time I got to college (at age 15). I knew almost nothing but hardcore nationalism and truly believed the world was only 5000 years old, had little to no understanding of most mathematic and scientific concepts. can also relate to what you said about feeling neglected and like there was no accountability. I had to cheat on many tests in high school because I had pretty much given up on teaching myself and just wanted to get the hell out of the house. I just found your channel via Fundie Fridays and will be watching a lot of your videos. thanks for sharing 🤍

@the.walkiest

Жыл бұрын

omg also I was in Pioneer Girls and Awana as well lol. I did not have a good time in Girl Scouts or 4H either, never fit in with other kids.

@the.walkiest

Жыл бұрын

OMG sorry but me and my sister who were taught at the same level even though we're 17 months apart in age totally did the picking kids out of the classroom that were our favorite and pretend were our friends lmao

I have literally gone through strictly Abeka from k- now which is 11th grade originally it was just the books and no DVDs and then in 7th we started using the DVDs. I’ve never gone to co ops, or any group like that. The closest I got was gymnastics once a week and church (which is a whole other trauma story). I faked doing my school work in 7,8,9th grade because my parents left it up to me to get it done. Part of me is thankful for the homeschooling because it has led me to a very interesting and useful world view and I’m much more motivated to do things on my own after seeing the effects of doing nothing, but the fact that when I drive past an elementary school when the kids are walking to school in the morning and makes me want to cry says a lot about the effect of homeschooling. Please be careful if you start homeschooling, it’s very dangerous for mental health if not done right.

I’ve been homeschooled with a Christian curriculum since the 6th grade (in a senior now) and the part about just wanting to watch other kids play and have fun hit me, I’d have people tell me about concerts they went to with friends and all these high school memories they have and feeling so awfully alone, all these things I wasn’t apart of and it reeked havoc on my mind, lots of tears and and time spent alone, thank you so much for making these videos, make me and people like us feel seen

Thank you for sharing your education journey! Interesting videos as well - thank you for including those!

I was fundie homeschooled from kindergarten to grade 12. And let me tell you, it was super fucked up. Thankfully I was able to go to a secular college and get a Bachelor's degree which was my dream for so long.

I totally relate to all of this. I did Abeka for high school. This was after my entire grade school career in a small church run school. I got so far behind and ended up doing high school all through the summers. My parents, while very opinionated about my learning, had zero interaction with me about it. I enjoyed several of the teachers and subjects but was sooo isolated and depressed. No homeschool co op for me. My parents also restricted my media consumption. I had zero and struggled to make conversation and relate with anyone my age. It has taken years and years for me to undo those 4 years. While I think homeschool, if done correctly can be great, it takes work and serious engagement by the parents. The sad thing is the reason I homeschooled in the first place was due to a lot of serious family problems. I didn’t realize it then but we were hiding from others some serious dis function. That pared with fundamentalism is the perfect setting for great harm. Thank you for sharing.

Wow. Our experiences are very similar. It’s so painful to go through fundamentalist homeschooling. I wish you the very best and am giving you an internet hug ❤️

Very relatable to my American Christian Nationalist homeschooling experience. Even though I'm a white Afrikaans South African I had an American Nationalist curriculum. Thankfully my parents weren't overt Afrikaner Nationalists. My parents started to homeschool me because I was suffering a lot in school because I'm autistic. They didn't know that I was autistic at the time, so I couldn't get any accommodations. My fundie homeschooling isolation felt very hopeless because I thought that even if I wanted to be "in the world" it would be too painful for me because of what I now recognise as ableism. I always thought that I'd become an ascetic monk until the second coming happened. Your channel is so validating, so many of your experiences line up almost exactly with mine. Question for the second video: I sat in front of my computer for like ten minutes trying to think of something so, lots of solidarity with healing from religious trauma. 💚🤍🖤

@lilafeldman8630

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds terrible. I can only imagine how awkward that must be , mixed in with Afrikaans Nationalists. In college, I had professors that studied the parallels between American race relations and those of South Africa.

I'm late, but thank you so much for making these videos. The impact that homeschooling has on the "students" is not talked about nearly enough. And when homeschooling is brought up, everybody tends to listen to the parents' opinions before they consider the opinions of the kids who actually were victims to it. It's very validating to hear people talk about their experiences, and realize I'm not alone in my story. Keep doing what you're doing!

Oh my! Thanks for sharing this homeschooling info. It's so fascinating for never fundies. I'm sorry you had to experience it, though.

everything you said hit me like a truck. it’s so real, especially the parts where you talk about struggling with the material and not having any help. i feel like being homeschooled absolutely ruined any chance for me to have a normal life. socially, my only friends were my church friends and i realized i didn’t believe in god pretty early on, so once that happened we drifted apart. and i was still forced to go to church until i was 18, seeing them every day looking at me like there was something wrong with me. like you, i started to just keep my mouth shut to avoid embarrassment and making people hate me any more than i already felt like they did. it really sucks that this is just going to keep happening to kids and i wish there was something i could do for them

This was so validating to hear. I was homeschooled with abeka and I had the same experience of my parents not helping me at all. Same thing with the book report, I remember that specifically so I wonder if we watched the same class! I also daydreamed about the kids. We were in a coop so it was just me at home during the week and then seeing people at church on sundays and Wednesdays. I didn’t feel like I fit in socially until my third year of college when I found my people, thank goodness. Thanks for making this and being vulnerable.

“Let kids be kids” while proceeding to teach them about adultery and indoctrinate them into religion

as someone who also fantasized about their imaginary friends, this hits me so hard

you're incredible. video made my night

I have read through several comments and I'm glad that so many are finding other paths to follow. My upbringing was destined to be similar but I think my ADHD saved me. I couldn't sit still in church and I was "disruptive" during the indoctrination, and I asked too many questions that made it clear I wasn't going to make it far. I did read the bible as one of the large projects in youth group and was HORRIFIED that people actually accepted such nonsense. I DID value the little moral stories and how being kind to others was focused on, but couldn't understand the overall obvious hypocrisy, or why they never tried to face this obvious issue, and improve themselves. I won't go into details of the hypocrisy because we all see it on a daily basis. I won't have someone who can't follow their own rules, tell ME to follow their rules. And then my parents tried to get me to read bible stories in the living room, while they sat near me and listened. NOPE! Not gonna happen! I kept that book for several decades as a reminder of the attempt my parents made to brainwash me.

@lisamcdonald2877

2 жыл бұрын

Good for you! I knew that the Armageddon nonsense was just that from an early age. A loving God creates a beautiful world and then destroys it, including countless innocent lives? Um, no.

I was a homeschooling mom while you were in school, and I previewed those aBeka videos. I totally knew that was going to happen. My heart just ached for the kids who would be watching those classes and not be able to take part.

I've been watching you for awhile and I've always resonated with you. Hearing that your curriculum was created by Pensacola Christian Academy added another level to that because I went to school there. I was eventually put into public school due to monetary reasons, many of my friends stayed until they graduated. One of which ended up being homeschooled after moving to Japan. I hope his experience treated him better. We're friends on Facebook, he's getting married now at 21, still brainwashed by fundamentalism. I wish we could be friends in real life again. :( The homeschool tapes you've provided truly are uncanny, I didn't know about the Abeka curriculum being wide spread until now. You can think of little me as your friend on those tapes all those years ago, as I think of you now through KZread.

Hi there - This is my first video I have ever watched from you. As a former fundie, I really appreciate your candour. I also wanted to add - I am a twin. People got us mixed up ALL THE TIME as kids, and they still do - even today it happened! We never thought that it was anything but amusing, like a grand prank we got to play on the world. We never thought that people were stupid for getting it wrong. If it helps your little inner child to know that most real life twins kind of enjoy it when people get it mixed up, please take it from us. My twin and I think you're the cool kid.

This video is really heartbreaking. I can feel your loneliness and can’t imagine this for my sweet child. We homeschool and my mission is always to honor my daughters friendships and make time for her to have those relationships. Sending you love.

Thank you so very much for posting these videos.

KZread just recent brought me to your channel. We have a lot in common. I was fundie-homeschooled from 1st-7th grade. We also used some books from Abeka, but DVDs didn't exist yet. We also used a few books from Bob Jones. Our church ran a private school that we couldn't afford, so when I went to Awana they had relationships I missed out on. Plus the meetings were held at the school building, so they were even more at home. At least I saw them on Sunday at church as well, but I missed out on a lot of the social gatherings in high school, because I had started in public school by then, and the church would plan a lot of the trips on days their school was closed, but of course mine wasn't. I had almost no social skills when I did finally enter public school, and it was an awkward time for me as I tried to figure it all out. Your videos are great at showing what some of us went through. I didn't begin leaving religion until about 6 years ago, and the process reminds me a lot of that awkward high school period. I'm just figuring out how right wingers are looked at by normal people, and it's similar to how kids look at homeschool kids.

Yes!!! I was homeschooled K-12 I used a beka & in middle school, I “got to use” the VHS tapes 😳 You are right! It’s incredibly isolating. I never even thought about it but I bet that’s why I have debilitating social anxiety nowadays.

I have a very similar experience! No structure and with needing special teaching because of math struggles, I’m 27 and still to this day feel like im behind everyone my age. There’s so much I never got to know. I actually like learning too! For years I thought it was my own fault. But now as an adult, I look back and don’t blame myself. I was just a kid. I can never get that time back or formal education, but I know I will NEVER do that to my kids.

@jennifercandelario922

Жыл бұрын

Well I never did homeschooling I went to public school .and the bullying was traumatic .and I’m still behind and I remember if I’dont understand something they keep going pass me with a D so depend how you work.people wants kids to socialize With other but like a parents ww Don’t socialize with them ….

oh whew, i was homeschooled for 3rd and 4th grade on abeka books (no dvds) and it was SO INTERESTING to hear you talk about it! i've never really talked with anybody who was homeschooled in a similar way (we didnt participate in a co-op), and it didnt occur to me to look up stuff online. it's weird to have experienced something that was intensely isolating and now decades later to find out that those experiences were being shared by other kids. hearing you talk about your imaginary friends!! ah!!!! i had a robust posse of imaginary friends until a woman at church told me that i shouldnt have imaginary friends because they could be demons 🥴 i see you have a video about awana, too, so i'll be watching THAT in a minute

You are describing my childhood to me. I’m sitting here stunned because I’ve been struggling so much with my social anxiety. I have been extremely isolated and experienced so much of the same anxiety as a homeschooled fundamentalist kid. This validated my experience so much thank you for being brave enough to share.