More on How To Get Someone Out Of Denial: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ooyTpMGJda6WpaQ.html

Your advice, your videos, your channel is incredible! I have struggled with alcohol addiction since I was 12. I’m 35 this year. I acknowledged that I had a problem last year and began working on it with your channel and a few other resources. I have literally made an accountability board stuck to the back of my bedroom door with things you have said, eg a sanity management plan, keeping the truth front and centre, and a bunch of other stuff. It is really helping me. I am a different person now. Still work in progress but getting there! Thank you!

@stellachasteen9451

Жыл бұрын

That's so encouraging. Can I ask what is the most helpful with the board on the door? 🙏

@escon4428

Жыл бұрын

@@stellachasteen9451 thanks so much! Because I am a very visual person, if I don’t see something in front of me I tend to forget. So having it there reminds me every day of what I need to do.. mostly it tells me the truth, which is that (whether I like it or not) I am not capable of sensibly managing alcohol in my life, so I am better off not having it in my house at all. Then I have my sanity management plan and my crisis management plan written there, eg my daily practices to make me feel proud of myself and my strategies if something really stressful happens (which can trigger a relapse for me) and I have the nightly recovery question stuck on there as well

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

That's fantastic. I'm sending you 5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

@escon4428

Жыл бұрын

@@PutTheShovelDown thanks so much!! I owe it to your channel. It has helped me tremendously. ❤️

The hardest thing for me was being able to let go of the hurt. I found I was so bitter that I was spewing unpleasant words to my significant other. After three weeks sober, he told me he felt like using after I brought up his past wrong doing. I took a step back and decided I was hurting more than helping the situation. I'm now focusing on what he is now doing right. Our relationship is better, and he is still sober. One day at a time.

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Do his positive changes help heal the old wounds?

So glad I found you! I love your approach, totally makes sense!

Its beautiful when you have a gift in something instead of just a degree When you have degree it's like( not all the time) I have the degree so you should listened to me with the gift you have compassion and patience and you are willing to listen and learn oh wow I just describe Amber I have much luv and respect for what you do ❤🙏

@PutTheShovelDown

2 ай бұрын

Awwww, thank you!

Your advice is the BEST I have heard, I went to al-anon for 20 years and your straight up advice is what is needed. THANK YOU so much, because I left one A for another and this video in particular is what works the best, can't always do it right but now I have a chance to do much better.

I ve been listening just a day ago. You have opened my eyes!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Welcome to our little community, Doreen! We're glad you're here 😁💓

These videos are life-changing for people who are ready to hear the truth. I spent 10 years in counseling after my divorce - but with your knowledge and caring, I could have moved on with my life much easier and in a shorter period of time. Amber, you are a wonderful counselor and truly doing God’s work. Pat yourself on the back my dear. ❤

@PutTheShovelDown

4 ай бұрын

Awwwww, thanks Gloria! 🤗

You and your videos are so amazing and helpful my on off partner of 4 years is an alcoholic and in really bad denial I love how you talk the truth but also inspiring to people trying to recover never judgemental and could help so many people that are ready to take that step this has been one of my hardest journeys in life (helping an addict see his problems) good luck to everyone out there

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this very kind feedback, Rachel! 💖

You are an answer to prayer!!! Awesome KZread channel, truly you are doing amazing work 👏🏽

@PutTheShovelDown

10 ай бұрын

Thank you! You too!

wow love where you say the difference between like and LOVE and how they can tell, I know my A does best when they see that I really LIKE them, then I see them trying more.

You are amazing!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

You too kind...💓💓💓

My son got sober for a while but felt horrible. He was depressed and had no energy. What can I do to help him through that?

oh my God! this is solid gold gold! is easier to do this with my sister that it was to do with my ex-husband. we not losing your temper part is key. if I can ever get some time with my sister; away from her horrible codependent relationship, I have a game plan. you broke this down so well. I've experimented with motivational interviewing on her and she would waffle back and forth constantly.

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

🤓🤓🤓

What if I have been being the problem and the “lunatic” for so long that trying this will seem totally inauthentic? I have so much trouble bring nice because I’m just so sad and angry

You are very special❤

@PutTheShovelDown

9 ай бұрын

You are! 😁

My friend is an alcoholic and I have used some of your steps, I'm still working on it with him. However, yesterday, he told me he and God made a pact to continue drinking. I know that God would never make that pact. My friend says he will never stop. I'm just kind of at a standstill with him at this moment, and I'm not sure where to go now....

@polarbearsrus6980

5 ай бұрын

How sad... it's so hard to deal with. My son is at a very low point, I finally had to get him out of my house.

My husband admitted to me he is addicted to alcohol. He sits up late and drinks after I’m in bed. We are retired snowbirds. We live an amazing life but it includes lots of happy hours. My question is should I be quitting drinking?

@sagrammyfour

Жыл бұрын

Yes. There's nothing an alcoholic loves better than a drinking companion.

hi amber .3 week sober today ,after watching you 1 video .

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

That's so awesome, Johanna! Thank you so much for sharing that with me. You've made my day 🤩🤩🤩

@polarbearsrus6980

5 ай бұрын

If only I could hear those words from my son, this is so stressful. Good for you, your friends and family are so lucky to have you.😉

Thank you for putting out such helpful content! I would just like to say, better help is really not that great. I don’t think they choose therapists appropriate for people with addiction issues. In fact, the therapist they assigned me said my problems were beyond the scope of the platform, she couldn’t help me, and I needed more frequent, more in-depth therapy. She said all this WITHOUT even speaking to me ONCE. Needless to say, I cancelled my membership and got a full refund. I’m now going through the withdrawal process on my own, but honestly I feel stronger and more determined than ever.

Hello Amber, thank you so much for all your videos - they have been a tremendous support for myself (spouse of an alcohol depended husband). Do you have any resources on how to get someone out of denial when they DO KNOW that they have a problem, yet believe they can manage it by cutting down, stopping themselves without any help? He's been trying for years without success. Knows he's got a problem but is in denial that he can manage it himself.

@Xrusha_

Жыл бұрын

Hi D M, Amber has a video about the stages of denial - not sure which one though... It's really good and concise. What you're talking about is the bargaining stage of denial and she explains a lot about that one, so I think it would be helpful for you.

@peggyhavard1546

Жыл бұрын

@@Xrusha_ thanks😊

@polarbearsrus6980

5 ай бұрын

Same here, my son. I had to get him out of my house this week. He thinks he can stop by drinking less, I don't believe it.

It makes me sad and angry when my family members are in denial of the addiction thats going on in my family in multiple members and put absolutely no effort to educate themselves in what is happening COMPLETE DENIAL! Cant even have a conversation about it with out getting bull dozed over 😢 or then getting angry and being even more accusative and making the problem worse. I desperately wish i could talk to my family member with out all the chaos.

I wish my husband would get to that point. Been waiting for the “ I don’t want to live this way anymore moment”. He’s a nightmare to live with and I’m always the bad guy. I’m not the type to allow verbal abuse and not call out that behavior. Especially when it’s directed to both not only me, but his step son as well. My seven year old doesn’t deserve that.

@polarbearsrus6980

5 ай бұрын

Why do you stay and allow your child to endure him, that is so sad? YOU don't deserve it either.

@Romiegirl-jq4rj

5 ай бұрын

@@polarbearsrus6980 it’s was a nightmare and me engaging in his toxicity didn’t work and never would have. However about six months after this post the universe stepped in and gave him a dose of doctor/hospital stay reality of liver cirrhosis signs and he’s been sober over three months. I waited him out because he is an amazing person when not clouded by alcohol. Our life is slowly getting back to normal and healthy. He had to decide to quit. Told me it’s the longest he’s ever been sober since he started over 20 years ago. I have hope again.

My husband seems to be in two categories of denial: 1) doesn't think it's a problem and 2) life sucks on the other side. You mentioned there is a diff process for denial of the 2nd variety. Do you have any videos on that?

If you have LIVED this as and addict (alcohol or other drugs) or a victim, you ARE qualified to speak to this. EDUCATION is great, but EXPERIENCE trumps.

I am just wondering if you have had an addict as a spouse or as a child? I can very much appreciate your advice and way of doing things differently and it makes sense. It would be a lot easier if the hurt hasn't been for so many years. It's hard knowing I have to be the one who makes the other feel safe when I was the one who made him feel safe in the beginning And he's the one who's made me totally unsafe for 95% of our 18 years.

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

I grew up in an addicted family.

@tammyjohnson1057

Жыл бұрын

@@PutTheShovelDown ❤️🙏

As a family member with addicts this is not possible now. I used to listen and try to help but my therapist said "why are you enabling their poor behaviour?" The addicts are raising a small child and they seem to want other addicts around this child. Drug driving with this child in the car has pushed me to call CPS. How do I raise concerns about this child and get protective services to intervene and get the parents help when the parents are skilled manipulators?

I’m confused, first you said you got all the training and certificates and now you say you don’t have the training?

Hi Amber. I love all your videos. I have been looking for a counselor that specializes with living with addiction. I live in Central NY state in a small town. I am even willing to do zoom meetings but cannot find anyone. Do you know of anyone I can reach out to. I also need them to accept insurance. Thankyou

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Hi Theresa, I don't know any counselors in NY, but this website might help you. They help connect people to counselors who use the CRAFT method: helpingfamilieshelp.com/

This may be off topic but would the things you suggest about addiction recovery apply to other addictions like gambling, overeating, etc.?

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Most definitely!

@123gp1833

Жыл бұрын

@@PutTheShovelDown Thanks.

Sigh... He was starting to trust me and I blew it

Help help help help help help

Where are you located?

My son knows he has a problem but he thinks he can stop a little at a time... I don't think so.

It literally feels like I'm walking on tiny bombs, one false move and it all blows up.

Have you thought about using ai to create scene videos?