My husband was a Marlboro man, but he was extremely warm, sensitive and loving. He was loved by women and men both. Don’t think you have to love pink. He loved horses, loved them. And dogs and cats. He despised seeing anyone embarrassed or humiliated. He would seek out those that needed a warm, kind word and ask them how were doing so they would know someone cared. He didn’t like opera, but he loved old cowboy ballads. He unashamedly teared up when the occasion came up. He made me feel safe and warm, I knew I could always count on him to come running if I needed him. Was he perfect no. I kinda just think people are people and no two are the same, we are all a kaleidoscope of emotions and fears, strengths, weaknesses. I miss him.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

This is beautiful and he sounds like an amazing soul. Much love to you. ❣️

@nevenkamajcen3126

3 жыл бұрын

First, I am very sorry for your loss. Second, your husband wasn’t a “ macho man”, he was a real man. Those are hard to find. 👼👼👼👼👼

@Mama_298

3 жыл бұрын

@@nevenkamajcen3126 thank you so much. He was a real man. It will be 8 years in may since he passed fairly suddenly. Our 53rd anniversary was yesterday. We had a good life and I’m grateful for the years we had. I’m blessed. You’re a dear. Thank you again.

@sirphil13

3 жыл бұрын

We don't have to act "manly" to be considered a man; we are a man...so just be yourself, we don't have to prove our masculinity to anyone.

@c.m.b.7022

3 жыл бұрын

😍💕💕💕 bottom line, whether he liked pink or liked horses doesn't matter, the fact is is if he was being himself. That's really what matters. And people knew he was genuine and loved him whether he liked horses or not or pink or not I think people still can know if someone is genuine by the way that they live. I'm glad for you that you got to know such a person is pretty awesome. And I think you're pretty awesome for appreciating a person such as him. This is beautiful.

I have an INFJ male in my life. He is very sensitive but he is also a bit of a chameleon. When he interacts with people he grew up with (he's a city guy), he mimics their crude, hardened natures. It's hard to watch because I'm a Southerner and am not used to some of that harshness and I know he's "dialing up" the crudeness to match the crowd. With me, however, he's more cerebral, softer, is willing to talk about his feelings and his insecurities. It took him a little while to be like this with me because most of the women he's experienced want him to "man up" and don't want to hear about feelings. I'm an INTJ female. Emotional expressiveness is not my thing. But I recognized that sensitivity in him and I wanted to create that safe space for him. He understands that I struggle to share my own feelings, but I do so to show him that I trust him as much as he trusts me. I know he still hides parts of himself, unsure if I will really accept how emotionally sensitive he is, but I'm patient. I even told him that I'm gentle with him on purpose. I am very aware of what mood I project to him and will openly acknowledge if he picks up on any mood shifts I have. I don't unload frustrations on him unnecessarily (because as an INFJ he is FRUSTRATING, but I take a step back to sort through my emotions to see if I'm frustrated because he's not doing things the way I would like him to OR if it's something he can legitimately alter. I think out of the million times I've been frustrated with him over the last 13 months (LOL), I've only had to ask him to make an alteration ONCE.) It's important to me that he be himself at all times and I try to create a consistent space for him to do that.

@nevenkamajcen3126

3 жыл бұрын

You are a great person and if you’re patient ,you will have an incredible journey with a “ real man” Relax and, Enjoy every day.

@tvm2209

2 жыл бұрын

I need to find a friend like he has with you! Thank you for being there for him.

My dad was a single parent in the 60's. There were 4 of us, 3 girls and a boy. Mom left when I was 6 and I am the oldest. His sensitivity was seen as weakness by mom. Her dad cussed and talked big. My dad didn't cuss and if he said he was going to do something, he did it. He didn't do the bars. He preferred being at home with his family. I don't think he's an INFJ but I am. I am grateful that he didn't give us up even though he lost his job due to being a divorced man. He wasn't too proud to mow lawns or clean garages to feed his kids. That is a hero. He is 86 and tears still well up when he sees a little boy give his grandma a present or a young parent with 4 little ones who look like us to him.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

This is beautiful and your Dad sounds like an incredible man! Much ❣️ to you!

Sensitivity is definitely a strength and far too many men stiffle that part of themselves out of fear of being seen as weak.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

So true!

@Robidu1973

3 жыл бұрын

Confirmed. Plus it took me approx. 46 years to finally find a confirmation on who are the actual jerks...

@sevsmith2476

3 жыл бұрын

that's so true!!!

As a female INFJ, This video applies % 90 to females. We live in a world where women have to climb the corporate ladder, Go home and talk baby talk to kids/ pets. Then do all the cooking and cleaning cause we are living with “ Macho macho man. I hate macho everything. “. I have always, Had sensitive male friends. Women (not so much) cause they end up being phoney. David Badurina ... ummm please don’t change. Be proud 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Not gonna change at all Nevenka, I am who I am! And thank you as always!

@icystorm12

3 жыл бұрын

I see you 🙌

I'd say that sensitivity contributed to me to be a loner growing up. I was always worried about joining in with groups because I didn't know if they wanted me around, as if my mere presence was a drag. Looking back, I see that it wasn't really founded, but it's effects still linger.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely right!

@jayburris6252

3 жыл бұрын

So much yes. I keep doing this over and over. It’s not just when I was growing up. I wasn’t segregated from “the group” as I totally 100% segregated myself for boreal reason.

Resonating once again, 100%. While being at a post-funeral gettogether, I was still crying. Some people were getting a bit annoyed, but a very nice lady walked up to me and said how good it was for me to express my emotions. I didn't quite understand it at that time. But now I'm so grateful. Actually I'm tearing up right now about it.

First.

@tanjamirt4002

3 жыл бұрын

Third 😁. Hi, David! You looks great.

@rayhernandez189

3 жыл бұрын

Hey brother how about this million dollar idea! INJ. Movie🎥!!! Starring all injs, why you might say because atleast my corner of the world never heard of this mbti study

@rayhernandez189

3 жыл бұрын

@@sojourneroftheland you better ot be laughing at me Davids my dad

Real strength is having the ability to be and show your genuine and authentic self. I completely and thoroughly accept and honor your genuine, honest, and emotional self. The you that you allow us to see in your videos is magnetic and attractive from the deeply emotional core level. Your words speak to my soul. 🤗❣

I've waited so long for a video like this. I have been feeling bad a lot being an INFJ male because I've been told to hide my feelings, emotions, and weakness like it's a horrible can of worms that looks disgusting. Thank you very much, David, for making this. It means the solar system to me.

@nevenkamajcen3126

3 жыл бұрын

Don’t ever hide your emotions. All humans have them. I have been hiding mine for a few months and just today they all exploded. The fallout was ... ummm not good. Its ,o.k to cry after a commercial .Good for the soul and everyone has done it.👍👍👍👍👍

@edwardzhou8590

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your words . You aren’t alone

@c.m.b.7022

3 жыл бұрын

Awwwww. I really hope you don't feel bad. That's a female infj I can still identify with that feeling that you must have even as a male. I just want you to know that my daughter who is 21 years old and she's not interested in men and a good portion of the reason being is that they can be the brute type. But she loves nothing more than to see a man that sensitive such as a man that has a pet bunny LOL. It is precious and a perfect representation of a man and sensitivity. So you keep on keeping on and be you and no the other INFJs will get that about you and it's all right it's all good and you're going to be all right okay. Work on being you and setting boundaries is what I'm figuring out as an infj to do more. And it's helping me get out of this cycle of funk. 💪💕💕 Get a house trained bunny helps🙂😘

@dgl640

3 жыл бұрын

@@c.m.b.7022 Thank you 😄. Having a pet bunny actually sounds like a very good idea 😁. And thank you for your encouraging words. It means a lot to me.

I’m not a man, butttttt man your words were so comforting. So many people think passion is weakness, like it’s something I need to fix.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad to hear that Tina! You're absolutely right - it's passion, not weakness!

@susanc.2207

3 жыл бұрын

Yess! They don't understand.

@sirphil13

3 жыл бұрын

Masculinity is a man's passion for life, that's what emasculation does, it's a toxic condition that drains a man's passion to live, it sucks the life out of us, so anyone that threatens our masculinity is trying to slowly kill us, and needs to be avoided at all cost.

David, you're such a genuine soul, love you for that. Hope you never change. Female INFJ here. I always have admired guys who dared to show their sensitivity. More easy to talk about any subject with them is my experience. They are any less than other guys. Remember guys no matter what you are enough. You do matter. 🤗

Much needed video. Sensitivity is part of being a human being. I am a transgender INFJ, assigned male at birth and transitioned in middle age to female. I struggled with the masculine-feminine thing my entire life. I often have wondered how being an INFJ impacted me being transgender. You often say that INFJs feel like aliens. Imagine how much more of an alien I have felt being transgender along with that. We are all a mix of masculine and feminine traits, and we have to figure out how to embrace the people we are. My identity has always been female, and before I transitioned, I was faking my way through life pretending to be someone I was not. Not a way to live, I learned. It almost killed me. Men like you, who show sensitivity, are so important. The male stereotype, and the female stereotype, need to die a natural death. None of us can live up to a stereotype, or a caricature, of what society wants us to be. We can only be who we are. Everyone else is already taken. Blessings.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Sophie! I can’t tell you how much gratitude I have for you sharing your thoughts here and as always great to see you as part of this community. I appreciate you!

@edwardzhou8590

3 жыл бұрын

You are so strong and moving, thank you for your story 💟. Dont change yourself, us sensitive male infjs are here by your side!! You deserve to be the beautiful girl you were born to be :)

Your thoughts on sensitivity remind me of my recent thoughts on vulnerability. Being able to be vulnerable with the right people shows tremendous strength, and allowing the vulnerable parts of yourself to become apparent to yourself takes strength. You can't have intimacy without vulnerability, so the best partners are the ones that can return our vulnerability with their own. When we're young all the superficial parts of a partner matter more than how you're actually connecting. I think INFJ men may be better appreciated as the years go on because people start looking for depth in their relationships once they prioritize their emotional needs. Thank you for the important video, I'd love to see a world where everyone could be who they were without judgement.

Honesty, openness, a willingness to share, to have empathy and compassion, kindness, these traits show a great deal of character strength. Which more often than not I feel are interpreted as weakness. Especially in the world that we are currently living in today... David, I appreciate you. You're a unicorn and to all the INFJ's, stay strong and don't let this fallen, corrupt world ever change you. You were put here for a reason. To be light in the darkness*

As in INFJ man! I truly feel like I’m a hopeless romantic when it comes to relationship what’s the women. Girls that’s dated Me, Have told me that They never felt so connected Anyone me before. But the downfall for me has been On my intuition on things and while I fill stuff I feel too deeply then I tend to overthink a lot which causes on trust for them but become less And less, because to me action speaks louder than words. As an older man now I’ve learned how to deal with all this crazy stuff going on and sadly gut feelings etc. and not to be so responsive on it but I’m always constantly having a battleWhat’s myself emotionally.

I love sensitive men and men who can be in touch with their feminine side! ❤ I wish I could have found myself one. From my personal experiences with many men (including misogynistic) I see we need more of this in this world. It is very lacking and it's obvious. Shame on anyone who shames or emasculates men just because they are in touch with their emotions and heart, have compassion and love. It doesn't mean they are not men or manly. It's the sensitive types of men I am attracted to, they make me feel safer in this world because they are gentle, caring and can understand me and my own sensitive personality too. Im not attracted to men who shame other men for being sensitive and who shame anyone for that matter so I find it odd when men who are not in touch with their sensitive side give other men dating advice to be the same. So to all the sensitive men reading this, you are awesome!! Stay awesome, real and genuine 😊 like David said, you are not weak.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Wise words thank you so much! Always look forward to your comments!

@Robidu1973

3 жыл бұрын

The problem is, too many people tend to hate/fear/disdain/whatever that which they fail to understand, and it's especially INFx men who are most frequently misunderstood. Also add that when people are also narrow-minded, that tends to become even worse as they are most likely going by the mantra "My mind is set, don't confuse me with facts!" If people are also superficial, they only go by the outward appearance of others, and on first glance INFJs and INFPs don't have much to offer. The problem here, in order to discover what is actually making up these personality types, one has to dig much deeper, but then again, many folks are too lazy or too preoccupied to do so. It therefore doesn't surprise me that narcissism is on the rise virtually everywhere.

@InsideTheMindOfAnInfj

3 жыл бұрын

@@Robidu1973 Yeah you're deffs right that at first glance INFJs and INFPs can appear to not have much to offer from an outside apperance. I know I've been perceived this way. I think it could partially be because we are more reserved and private for the most part until we know we can trust and open up to people. But as an INFJ I always feel like no one fully knows or ever will fully know all of me. Yes it seems narcissism is actually becoming more normalised nowadays. Its scary.

@Robidu1973

3 жыл бұрын

@@InsideTheMindOfAnInfj Unfortunately narcissists tend to be extremely extravagant and therefore show-off-y. Just have a look at "social" media, and you know what's going on. That's the reason why I have closed my accounts on Fakebook and Twitter. However, the really startling thing about this is that there are too many people around who are perceiving that as something positive.

@InsideTheMindOfAnInfj

3 жыл бұрын

@@Robidu1973 social media has in ways changed the world and the people in it for the worst. I believe it plays a huge role in today's society and why people are the way they are through the bad influences and people they follow. It's also a good hunting ground for narcissists. I married a narcissist because of it, meeting one through social media. I never had twitter, I have facebook but I literally don't post anything on it anymore. I only use it for groups and pages I follow. I think social media can be used in positive ways and has its positives but the negatives unfortunately outweigh the positives.

Yes, I totally resonate with everything you said. I have finally understood this over the last year or two, and I've realised that I'm ok with being who I am. In fact, I'm proud of it. To have that balance means to have more ways of solving problems. "When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail" Is like "When all you have is brute strength, force your way through everything" Thankyou for helping me grow! Also, the people that I've genuinely made friends with in the last 5ish years have all been women. Yes people assume I have motivations other than "just really good friends". That can be a challenge on its own.

@edwardzhou8590

3 жыл бұрын

I despise people who assume you’re with a girl just because your friends with them. Im a Scorpio cisgender Heterosexual male INFJ, and I know I’ve always been on the feminine side of things yet had a masculine “goal-getting” force within me. Simultaneously, having a “sex-driven” nature, it always felt nice to just break my stereotype and befriend females who understand me. Yet people around me will say “are y’all dating?”. Like social norms UGH. I’m with you :)

David, I just want to tell you that I love you man. I'm 23 and going through an unhealthy spout, and as a sensitive INFJ I resonate with your thought process so deeply that it makes me want to have a nice cup of coffee with you and share ideas (but mostly ask you questions because I admire your emotional wisdom). Life is crazy beautiful and I am so happy to be a part of it -- you help me feel affirmed that I'm not alone on this deeply internal, sensitive journey. I love being alive and learned after my own deep spout of depression and anxiety that I am deserving of happiness and love and acceptance. My internal judging voice was so loud that I wouldn't get out of bed many days and do anything and everything to push the dark side of insecure perfectionism away until the next day. Learn how to be healthy, I'm positive we all desire to grow and be truly and deeply happy. The way to that is through understanding who we are as beings rather than mind-types. For me I followed my truth seeking into the philosophy of who is the I that I call myself and further led me to dive into spirituality in a way that my logical mind feels succumbed to. My intuition tells me that there's a purity of truth in what I'm seeking, and it's taught me to listen to my heart first and let my mind marinate in what my heart says so that the wisdom comes without objectivity. I'm rambling, I don't usually comment on videos but your words and the way hearing you makes me feel has lowered my walls and helps me feel vulnerable. Thank you friend.

David, you articulated so beautifully and clearly everything that I have felt and am feeling as an INFJ male. I discovered that I am an INFJ within the last few years and most everything that had been so confusing for me as to why I feel and operate the way I do has fallen into place. Having to deal with aggressive males all of my life, while feeling like an alien, was quite toxic to me. There used to be a war raging inside me, fighting against my very nature because it didn't fit the mainstream, but now I am at peace with myself in this aspect. Thank you for all of your videos. I am very much enjoying your Discord group - be sure to put a link to it in all of your video descriptions so that others may join!

@patrickr.sansonetti3237

3 жыл бұрын

I COMPLETELY AGREE💯 I wish everyone in my life would watch this. Yes...we are complicated, but REAL!

@nevenkamajcen3126

3 жыл бұрын

Mr. Rock, I can completely relate and sympathize with you. Spent most of my life feeling “ different “. I thought I was too sensitive or too tough. Eventually I just persuaded myself that I was special ( grandma called me that). I liked being different. Never minded being alone, but could go out dancing too. I learned to like me, when others didn’t. Now , like you, David Badurina has answered question I didn’t know I had. I miss his videos cause I feel better after every one of them. 👍👍👍👍👍👍

ENFP female here. I'm so lucky to be dating an INFJ man. A less mature version of myself might not have valued him as deeply as I do so I'm grateful our paths have crossed later in life. He is the epitome of strength and caring. He takes care of his people and his community. And he has been patient and steady as he's helped me be brave navigating my vulnerability with him. I catch myself in tears just admiring who he is. Couldn't adore anyone any more.

I married a sensitive ENFP and it was the best decision I ever made. I really understand how hard it must be to be a sensitive man, and I appreciate men that are tough enough to be themselves.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

That's fantastic!

@lauramc4fun

3 жыл бұрын

@@DavidBadurina BTW I'm with you. Keanu is a fantastic human and a sensitive guy.

@tanjamirt4002

3 жыл бұрын

@@lauramc4fun Keanu is infj ☺️

@tanjamirt4002

3 жыл бұрын

@@lauramc4fun... and Al Pacino. Can you believe that? Al Pacino 😃👌👍

@lauramc4fun

3 жыл бұрын

@@tanjamirt4002 I thought he was ISFP, but a sensitive guy for sure. :)

My man is a sensitive man. He is an Introverted Feeler (INFP), and such a sweetheart. No shame in shading tears in some occasions. Fully open about his feelings. Also, my dad, the strongest man I know, also an INFJ, can break a man just as you, David. He share his fears trough conversation with his wife and daughter, cry when he misses me, used to write poetry and paint. Such an interesting combo. Love sensitive men. As I grew up under the wig of one like that, I could never be with a man who's afraid of his sensitivity.

@c.m.b.7022

3 жыл бұрын

My son and daughter are INFP's and I Love their personalities!! My son is sensitive. I've always told him when he was younger that his sensitivity made him a lady's man and complimented him on it. He, too, sees the struggle of what this culture deems as being a manly man. Between his sister and I, hopefully he can continue to be encouraged. Love to all those sensitive. Heart in a hardened world is strength! 💕😘

@ruthlessfairy

3 жыл бұрын

@@c.m.b.7022 That's wonderful! My INFP partner had always charmed many women with his sensitivity, without trying at all. INFP's are a gift to the world😍

It's all true. One thing you left out, though, is how much the INFJ guy can benefit from finding an ENFJ best friend! Absolutely the ultimate bro.

An INFJ bro passed here to live a like 😊

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Appreciate you!

Thank you for having this conversation! 🙏 I think this is a topic for all men not just INFJs. 🙏

Excellent as always David. Imagine my shock when my wife of 38 years finally tells me that I cry too much, that I'm too sensitive. I've struggled being who I am anyway. BUT, I'm a gift, and I'm good enough regardless. And truth be told, we are shamed into hiding our sensitivity. However it comes out anyway, woodworking, cars, painting, music, hunting, being a parent. Passion is in whatever we do/are/become. I'm tired of being something everyone thinks I SHOULD be, I'm just being me with all of my wondrous flaws lol... yeah, easier said than done, but I'm trying.

Hello INFJ brother. This is so true. Being a sensitive male is not for this world. It is difficult until we meet our tribe, those that understand us and are like minded.

I wrote this poem over a decade ago (time needs to slow down a second). I will put it here in my native language (Swedish) and a translation of it in English. Thank you David. Swedish: Jag går hellre barfota och riskera att möta glasskärvans vassa kant Än med skor och gå miste om sandens mjuka omfamning English: I rather go barefoot and risk meeting the sharp edge of a pice of glass Than with shoes and miss out on the soft embrace of the sand

Things like this are a great and necessary reminder :/ On top of being sensitive (basically for reasons you listed) and being called either a baby, child, or dramatic I’m also more on the feminine side of Interests like women’s fashion and make-up. I love girly things with girl friends and past partners while also having some feminine mannerisms (grew up with single mother, raised by women, spent my time through grade school mostly just around girls). So not only do I feel out of place sometimes with I’m with guys teasing me about being “gay” (I’m straight). I’ve also had past partners question my sexuality despite me telling them exactly why I am the way I am :/. When your own girlfriend or wife says that or questions that it really hurts and boyyyy does it make me feel worthless and like I’m not man enough for them... thankfully I made a best friend almost one year ago (She’s an INFP) and like your video has taught me, she showed me that my interests and the way I am doesn’t make me less of a man or gay or anything like that. They’re just interests like any other and there’s no reason to listen to people who make me feel bad for basically being me. That I am someone strong, loving, caring, and never even once thought of me being girly, but instead just sees me as me and why she loves me for it. I’m glad I have someone like that who is extremely supportive and I’m so happy that you made a video like this

@edwardzhou8590

3 жыл бұрын

Moving. So amazing how one supportive soul can change a being. And infjs like us need that with our natural direction towards giving others endless love!!

"I can turn another human being into soup with my bare hands. - I don't give a shit about what you think about me watching My Little Pony." Man, I can so relate to this. Practicing judo and competitive swimming (good for the chest) saved me from being a victim in school. People who'd otherwise bullied me thought twice about that. (Didn't help with all of the issues of being a sensitive boy, but I just realized how much worse it could have been without the training.)

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly! And good on you for developing yourself that way!

This has really hit home David. Growing up in an African culture, a sensitive guy or man is considered a wuss or a sissy. In high school, I was teased and mocked a lot due to movies i watched (those considered girly as well as musicals). I've also been teased due to listening to emotional music such as Taylorswift songs. I wasnt athletic in high school and wasnt so much into cars and I didnt like objectifying girls and it was quite tough and I didnt fit anywhere. There was a time I hated the sensitivity in me due to constantly being picked on and feeling like an outcast. I even considered it to be a curse. However after many years of life after school and meeting great friends who understood me, I came to accept and embrace that sensitivity. I am glad I can listen to a song and cry my heart out. In the society I live in, so many men are depressed and others committing suicide and others living in drunken stupor since they cant handle their emotions - which I cannot say is entirely their fault since like I've mentioned, I grew up in a culture where a man is not supposed to be seen crying (I never even thought the words masculinity and sensitivity could go together). This is a timely and important message which ought to reach the masses. PS: I am definitely watching the ' Lake house'. I love a movie that can make me cry🤧🤧😄

Second time I watched this video. I call it “ philosophy of a real man.” A fancy suit and flashy car gets old fast. As does a tattooed,bearded biker. A real man will watch a “ chick flick “with you and shed a tear. Talk with (not to ). you about anything and protect you from harm if necessary. Sit in silence or have a deep conversation. Kindness and honesty are second nature and giving freely are a character trait. A real man doesn’t care about being masculine because they have nothing to prove. I wish there were more of them..... I am a real woman.🦋🦄🦋🦄

INFJ female here. This brought me to tears. Thank you for speaking out about this very important topic.

💯 relatable. Once I realized that I’m the scariest person I know, I allowed my vulnerable/sensitive side. I feel stronger knowing my vulnerability doesn’t shame me. I’m still selective on who I share it with( baby steps, I guess).

Those who downplay sensitive people are insecure about their sensitive side themselves

sensitivity is a strength in both men and women, in fact I am more attracted to sensitive people than to arrogant people, it sounds banal, but there are a lot of people who are actually attracted to arrogant people, due to poor attachment patterns. Sensitivity in an emphatic sense is a strength.

Sensitive men are like my love of yarn. I have the not-so-soft Red Heart Super Saver which serves a purpose for some things. Then I have the more expensive Malabrigo, cashmere, baby alpaca, silk that is super soft, squishy and expensive. The more soft and squishy and fine your fiber, the higher your value. value.

You never fail to hit the nail on the head. And, make me smile and cry in a few minutes. You're a really good movie David. 👍😊

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Lea!

@leacunningham4800

3 жыл бұрын

@@DavidBadurina you're welcome ☺️

More people in this world need to be sensitive toward others. Thank you for your comments. ♥️

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed! You’re welcome!

As an INFJ woman, I both respect and admire the sensitive qualities of INFJ men. I know how much criticism I have received as a woman for being 'too sensitive' and can only imagine how much more criticism INFJ men receive for being sensitive. As painful and overwhelming as our empathy and sensitivity can be at times, I definitely think it is a strength and it is refreshing to find that quality in a man.

INFJs bring something special to the table with regards to martial arts. I wasn’t sure if it was just me creating stories or if there is something to this, then I came across your video. As an INFJ, I am drawn to this duality of experience when training at the dojo. There is this beauty, creative flow, and intuitive connection (feeling their next movement before it happens)to the sparring opponent

@kevinm5792

3 жыл бұрын

I accidentally posted that last comment before I was done lol. Anyways, that’s layered on top of physical power, grit, and violence. Not only does it ground me, it feels Iike a microcosm of what’s inside us INFJ males. Anyway, great video! Real strength is the ability to be vulnerable in front of others (especially men). Facing reality, living within the cloud of experience and emotion rather than hiding behind what I call false masculinity (NASCAR, Beer, emotions are for chicks B/s). If other men claim to not understand this in the moment, it’s usually because they are projecting this false masculinity over the self doubt you caused them to feel by being man enough to open up to life, and strong enough to unapologetically allow moments of vulnerability while face to face with another man. Growing up as an INFJ male is not easy. I love it, I hate it, but I sure as hell won’t allow another man tell me how to be less of a real man in order to fit our western concept of what masculinity is supposed to look like. -Kevin M

From experience, I can tell you that without sensitivity, a male is not a man🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Thanks David - I'm just finding your channel & I'm deeply appreciative of your insights. INFJ male, Enneagram 9w1 here. Your vulnerability and authenticity are inspiring. Looking forward to watching more.

Dig it. Thanks for this video. I was always picked on for being a “sensitive”. Now I realize this part of me is what drives the desire to write a little diddy here and there. My perceived weakness, by so many people, just happens to be my greatest strength.

INFJ male here. Sometimes I over correct and come across cold and more like an INTJ and it’s not really my true personality. It’s just a persona that I put up because of society.

I full agree with this and just to be clear My Little Pony, ROCKS!!! I hope any male watching this gets a ton of support from this and makes the decision to be your 100% authentic self and live life to the fullest as the beautiful Man you are!

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

❣️❣️❣️

You have great courage. Your experience with emotions and strength really nail the INFJ persona.

As a dude with pandemic stress. uncorking my emotions might be hazardous. Possibly resulting in a mascara crying rampage across town and holding an ice cream cone. I’ll be weeping and wailing down the back alleys scaring the stray animals while occasionally screaming ‘I’m strong!’ or humming a lesser known Taylor Swift song at 3am.

Absolutely! There is strength in vulnerability. When someone can be open with their whole heart it is the strongest thing they can do. Part of strength is to know when to be tender and compassionate. Like you said there has to be a balance. I grew up in martial arts and everything needs to have balance.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly Julie!

@juliemoyer5656

3 жыл бұрын

@@DavidBadurina I could of wrote a book on it but I tried to keep it short haha 🤦🏻‍♀️

Being sensitive is extremely hard to deal with, the depression that it is coupled with makes so many situations absolutely soul crushing. I hide my sensitivity, but then I have to deal with it all alone and honestly it puts me in a dark place, and the longer I bottle it up, the darker it gets.

@Robidu1973

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely relatable. Unfortunately, the more you are bottling up, the more devastating the reaction is going to become once the entire thing detonates.

@tooquietirl3562

3 жыл бұрын

@@Robidu1973 Very true, and I also believe that is the beginning processes before the "door slam". The point of no return, where you have exhausted so much energy in thought, that the only way to break free, is to complete disconnect.

I 100% believe in balance! You hit the nail on the head when you said that it's a strength to be in tune with your emotions. I admire fathers who will have tea parties with their kids and watch My Little Pony! ;) When I hear people talk about their idea of how a man "should" be and it involves sucking up emotion and being a callus individual I get frustrated. Thank you for being a strong, sensitive man and sharing your perspective. Thank you for being you. :)

Sensitivity is STRENGTH. Those who are not sensitive are actually people who can not be anything other than mediocre and untrustworthy because they only care to fit in to be liked and live their lives based on what others thinks. We are human but yet so different than the majority of people on earth. We are the epitome of a thing or what we value. In order to care and love, there must be a healthy level of sensitivity. How can a person really love but yet not be sensitive to the life of their partner and their pains and triggers? The interesting thing is, I love your strength. We can be the most loving and amazing people on earth with facts to prove it, yet we can be dangerous when pushed. While people look at us and underestimate us as being weak or too soft, we could rip them apart in seconds. I always tell people, the worst thing they could try to do is figure me out because I can never be compartmentalized in their small brains. I also tell them to be very careful because I have many layers. If they treat me with love and respect, they will always get the best fruits of me but if they cross that line, they will never have access to me again.

@DavidBadurina

Жыл бұрын

Those boundaries are important! Glad you're here, Walter, appreciate you watching and being part of the conversation!

@Taurusboy07

Жыл бұрын

@@DavidBadurina Yes they are. Thanks a lot.

Thank you for speaking openly! INFJ or not, sexism is a serious issue which causes damage for both genders. But you are absolutely right about the importance of maintaining the balance. If anyone comes out to the world wearing his/her heart on the sleeve, they WILL be hurt, because it is unrealistic and unfair to expect that everyone feels the same or even understands or believes the sincerity. Building trust takes time, so exercising caution in accepting people to the inner circle is nothing else than simply recognising we are all different.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

So true, thank you!

All of us ,INFJs have to support each other cause we are a minority🙏🙏🙏👋👋

@Robidu1973

3 жыл бұрын

And we are going to be there in case you need backup. Many greetings from an INFP.

My mantra as a sensitive INFJ male...This is where I am. This is the wounding I carry having lived this life on this Earth, with these people, with this body, under these circumstances, with these evolving values and beliefs. This is how all of that it affects me in moments as they unfold. And knowing all this, I love and accept myself as perfectly imperfect; committing myself to stepping towards my higher self, however I might stumble.

I know you’re taking time away from “ social media “ I did the same thing. Result: I was left behind and my freelance projects fell apart. You may disagree, but now is the time to expand and embrace “ social media “. Like it or not we need social media. Your book needs exposure ( I have bee using channels to talk about your book). There are more INFJs out there that you need to reach. I know it’s hard..... but strangers out there need you. Your channel needs you....and you need your channel to expand. This whole post is me being selfish and making you feel guilty for not posting a video. I SORRY!!!🇨🇦☹️🇨🇦☹️🇨🇦☹️

The admiration I have for my friends who are INFJs is endless. It's really exhausting to care as deeply as you do. I am a INFP living in this world is hard, My one goal in life is to make a difference some how and some way. It could be as small as helping another person smile and brighten there day to saving someone's life. I love that I can connect with my friends in a emotional way because it is so rare to be understood by males. It allows for those deep discussions to become open and honest. Sorry I am struggling to make my point clearly, bottom line this is a quality I find so attractive and real because it is driven with pure love and caring for others. Thanks David great video.

My husband is an INFJ & I'm an INTP. He is my absolute best friend & the best man I have ever met. Yeah, he's sensitive. It's also one of his BIGGEST strengths. It's one of the MANY reasons why I have the utmost respect for him. Every time I watch him interact with others, I somehow end up loving him even more. I trust his judgement. He ALWAYS values my thoughts and takes me into consideration. Yes, we have our differences and, man, do we have our trials (especially when demon Si and demon Fi are triggered). At the end of the day though, we end up finding a win-win. We try our hardest not to compromise. Our goals are always to find win-wins. His sensitivity & warm heart are what make him a "real" man.

I would love to have had ten years of karate added to my INFJ Fe. The sensitive bone crusher rules the room - even if no one knows it, yet...:)

I’m an INFJ female and I wish more men were INFJ and open and sensitive like you, it’s beautiful, great that you do martial arts too and can beat someone up nice balance I like it 😊 Your channel just popped up on my recommendations which I’m delighted about, I guess cos I was watching the Frank James INFJ channel. I love your insights into our type, will binge watch your channel, but I have to go to bed now as I’m from England in the UK and it’s bedtime here 😊👍

@elysiansoulenlightenment8566

3 жыл бұрын

I wish for more INFJ men as well!!! I advocate for men sensitivity. Vulnerability is true courage not weakness! Brene Brown says that best ❤️❤️

Typo, not bra wise 🥱🤣 I meant, maybe it’s because I’m an INFJ female that I appreciate sensitivity being displayed but thinking of chats with other females, we all love, value and appreciate a man who can express their feelings. Let the flavour flood out you guys. As Michael Singer teaches. The game of life is keeping the heart open. We have been led to believe closing the heart will protect us and I’m learning the exact opposite is true. We have a lot of un-doing to do 🙏🏻

Your words made me cry and I am an INTP! Sensitivity is a strength, definitely not a weakness. Loved the figures of John Wick and his dog 😊

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! Thank you!

What I love the most is when I can understand “connect” with someone. But like most infj people I can hide my true self ( feelings thoughts emotions) so I’m not seen” judged” for what I am. Only the precious few get to see the inner infj. And It dose take strength to let someone in completely. Most people don’t enjoy the wide variety of things that intrigue the INFJ mind. But some do! And if you never let anyone in. You’re never going to find the ones that do! Thank you for another great video. That articulates my thoughts into words. Lol🙏👽

I can honestly say that I prefer a sensitive man. So much more comfortable to be around❤️

Thank you for this video I have been feeling really down here lately and your comments give me some hope and uplifted me so thank you brother.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

You got this! Right there with you!

I feel like you literally heard my mind today. Thank you.

Wow, great video! I think this is the first time in my 50 years of life I have felt understood. Thank you so very much!

You have described a well rounded man- if only there were more real men with real strength that you described- I have yet to met one in real life

I wish I could get my guy to watch this. I'm desperately needing a deeper connection. Especially after 5 years...

I think sensitivity is a strength in men and women. I agree that with age comes balance. As a women I would love to have a man who can be sensitive to my needs as well as his own. The last man I want to hang out with is the Marlboro Man. Relationships require good communication and part of this is being able to express your thoughts and feelings in a good way so all parties involved can learn and grow in a relationship.

I keep a lot inside my own shell. Over the past year or so, I get asked the full spectrum of questions. Being a trans woman. It's pretty hard to answer one of those simple questions with a simple answer. Like, "do you still think like a man?" I'd ask, then how does a typical man think? And the general answer would be... Yes, those are things I did in order to fit in society... for a time. There's too much stock put into assumptions, or perceptions of what man, or woman should be. More energy should be invested into being who you are, and be damn what is expected. To be sensitive is the human condition, in spite of cultural crutches that slow down the momentum of being centered, and fulfilled. There's only one you, shining bright is not a weakness.

@jaimiehorton9669

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your perspective, as I was watching the video I was thinking about people who are LGBTQ+ and how gender roles make their lives even harder. Being bi I went through a time of worrying what that was "supposed" to look like but it looks however I want it to and I'm not ashamed to live the way I want to now. Teasing apart who we are from who we've been programmed to be is difficult enough for cis people but I imagine it's even more complicated when you aren't.

@tanjamirt4002

3 жыл бұрын

"Do you still think like a man?" What a stupid question....lol My gosh, ppl are so silly and irritated 🤯🙄by their questions. I usually reply to such people that I am in a hurry, greet them on the way out and leave them unanswered..... Lol

@tanjamirt4002

3 жыл бұрын

You are not the only target 🎯 of such people. You are not alone in this. People like to peek into other people’s lives and intimacy👀👂. You don’t have to give them an answer. No, no!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you

This really helped me, thank you David!

Powerful and much needed words for all of us!

OMG! you saved me.But I have done to much to overcome these feelings , and now I think I have none , I am able to ignore anyone and everyone and Have a shell so strong that you cant even come close to me in person.

You are spot on, David

All choked up, gotta pause ya to get thru!

Beautiful power they possess.

I love the balancing message in this video 🙌🏼

we'll be okay.💪

This is now my favorite video on this site!

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Glad to hear!

15:00 that's it, that's exactly the thing. Well done you nailed it.

I dig this. All of it. You don't even know how full my heart is from watching you ❤

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Great video David, thanks ! Loved it, very powerfull. A jem for all sensitive people, INFJ or not, male or not ! It makes me think about this quote : "being brave isn't having no fear, it's experiencing the fear and go forward nonetheless ". I totally agree, our emotions are super important and we should embrace them : . They tell us who we are . They tell us when something /someone isn't right for us . They tell us what we have to work on ourselves, grow and progress in our self development journey ... thinking about emotionnal triggers here, inner child work and such. . They are the salt in life, making it so precious . And Yes, too they learn us how to put ourselves in someone else 's Shoes and if more people were able (and willing) to do that, the world would be a better place.

Yet again you have made me cry. ( For a purely good reason.) All your videos hit the true harsh reality of life that, in my opinion, people are fog lighted by. You are so right. Dismissing your feelings can be like "caging a fee spirited bird". It's so not mentally healthy. We are in a society of conveyor belt stamped serial numbers. Like cattle, led to a meaningless existence. Unfortunately and tearfully the human hands of death. Sovereignty rules, Fame rules, Money rules and War and Army rules. Its a story board that people ignorantly lead with. We need more men like you in this world. It would evolve over time to more equal compassion. Hence, there would be in turn so much less feminism which i personally absolutely hate. It has gone way too far in this already unbalanced biased state we have to inhale. I so get you David. I am in a family that gets and tends to their feelings every single day. But. In saying that, they do not want to even validate or even agitate the soil to see what lies beneath my growth. Its soul destroying, but in the same sense I know Im soulfully leading a wholesome life of truth. Thankyou again. You are amazing and you help people grow and glow.xx

Hello David! Thank you for this very motivational and very valid topic! Regarding Sensitivity vs Masculinity, many of us INFJs "pick and choose" our social life/interactions based on the polarity of a given social atmosphere, it is a survival tactic I think. I don't go to NASCAR races (although I did once in 2000). I don't go to bars to hang out. I don't engage in competitive sports. When I can I try to choose the environment that works best for me. When I can't and it goes all too social, then for me it is like that old TV show, "Fear Factor": "Will Jeff endure to the end of that all-night company party? Find out, right after these messages!" :-D Regarding what you said, Bravery is hidden in us INFJs, often appears when needed, as you mentioned. It is denying oneself for the sake of the other that is the thing that separates the Brave from the Coward in this aspect. As Spock said, "The needs of the many out weighs the needs of the few, or the one". So to be able to envision seeing that other person better off because of the healing aspect of our type is the thing to focus on. Many Stereotypical "Men" would dare not even go there. To the movie: OMG, "The Lake House" is one of my most favorite movies!! I even have the movie score as well as the DVD. Plus it has Keanu, that moves it up to the stratosphere alone! I of course love the movie, but I don't watch it often because of how it hits me and the resulting feelings that is manifested. That movie, plus "Somewhere In Time" are the two that really move me. If you really want to see an INXJ struggle under the iron hand of an ESTJ, but overcome in a way - like what you describe here - get a copy of "The Great Santini" (1979) with Robert Duvall. It hits all the emotions, I mean ALL the emotions...hard. One of those, "Break glass in case you want to cry" movies. Music: "Moonlight Sonata", A+! Another one is, "Adagio For Strings And Organ In G Minor". I will be looking out on IG for the Q&A! I will be thinking of one to ask, probably book related. Cheers, Jeff

I loved this. As an INFJ female who’s recently met an INFJ male I found this really relatable and informative. Thank you!

David, thanks for your channel I have spent so long feeling lost and alone, finding out that there was nothing "wrong" with me has been a indescribable. much of what you said resonates with me, and my struggles with being a man and not fitting in with other men. when push comes to shove people don't respect the sensative guys, they want the tough calloused one. An INFJ can be that guy, they can be hard and viscious, like few others. We die inside for it, but we can be that if we need to. That seems to be what the world wants from us, to be dead inside. Nice to know it's okay to not be that.

Damn, this really moved me. I truly wish more guys out there were like you. I have been told by exes to "turn off the water works" every time I was upset about something, or that the things I wanted to talk about were not of interest, ie: I liked to dig too deep and they didn't like it. I wanted to explore their feelings, talk about them and mine and the psyche and the depths of my mind, about ancient history or dissect poetry and songs but somehow ended up the people who wanted to get stoned while watching wrestling and getting obsessed with women who didn't want them, while I was ripping my heart out in front of them. I'm glad those days are over. I've been told I'm too sensitive, take things too personally, feel too deeply, I'm too mysterious and on an on by guys so I can only imagine how they are with actual other guys if they were that way with someone they were dating. Yes, over time we balance out more and my inferior Te has had to develop for my own survival (and if an infp is stressed enough...watch out for that Te cuz until we learn to balance it, it can be a bear) but it has all made me, as you say, a strong person. Being able to feel deeply is strength. Becoming more F/T balanced is also strength because we are less extreme. Thank you for being you. Time for us to say, we appreciate you!

@isabelle1976

3 жыл бұрын

Hi MelBeth D. Sensitive compassionate deep guys exist in the world. Quite hidden, often, but they are there. Keep searching if you didn't find one yet and you'll meet one. 🙂 Take care of yourself

@Robidu1973

3 жыл бұрын

Well met, then, my fellow INFP. What you have stated here struck a chord with me. And being male and an INFP really has you run the gauntlet all too often: "Stop being such a crybaby." "You are such a sissy." "You're stupid." "You can't get anything done on your own." Just to name a few of them... Anyhow, once you find out what you have dealt with, it's becoming much easier to see them for what they truly are and find closure. Besides, do you also have that strong urge to flee the scene when someone is attempting to subject you to their idle talk?

@melbeth79

3 жыл бұрын

@@Robidu1973 I used to have that urge with small talk, yes but it's better now. I've learned that most people view small talk as a bridge between not knowing you from Adam and getting to know you more, so I try to make myself engage in it a bit as that bridge. I think it is always this conflict for us because we have that Fe worry -- that is Fe in a lead opposing role in our shadow. We value it to a point, but don't favor it and it can create quite a bit of conflict when we are stressed between us and the other, society. Thank you for replying, I ended up having a lot to say on this topic too. Now that I'm older, I do realize too that hurting people hurt people and I always try to view things from that lens, it doesn't make it right but often it will explain the behavior, however if they don't wish to do the work of healing their traumatic past, from there that is on them. A lot of people park at the point of their pain, yet blame everyone else when they are trying to help. I also know now that I was very drawn to broken wounded people in some sort of futile attempt to make up for my own past. Of this is a fool's errand. Getting older is great when our Si enters a new phase of development and we can actually apply our learned experience going forward so we quit rewounding ourselves.

@melbeth79

3 жыл бұрын

@@isabelle1976 Thank you, Isabelle. Maybe one day, who knows. I've had to also let go of a lot of idealism this way as well and understand that I cannot save anyone, they have to be willing to do the work and not park at the point of their pain while hiding it/shoving it down/denying it simultaneously. I'm in a much healthier place mentally with all this now.

@Robidu1973

3 жыл бұрын

@@melbeth79 That, again, sounds awfully familiar. The main problem with having that Ne-Si axis is that the preprocessing done by Ne is only as good as the database that you have established, and if there are any blank spots in certain events that you cannot fill in, that leaves you thoroughly confused. It is then up to Si to fill those gaps, but very often that tends to occur much later.

I love thisss! That's exactly how I feel, this video was like a virtual hug. Thank you for being that courageous

@DavidBadurina

Жыл бұрын

You're so welcome!

You are tremendous, David! Thank you so much for lifting your voice for us INFJs. Love you!

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you, I appreciate you!

Candy corn is ground colored candle waste passed off as a great thing. Candy corn is horrible!!! Your channel rocks!!!

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Oh thank you! :-D

Great video!!!!!! How grateful Iam I found you on YT, you lift my spirits!!!

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Kathy! So glad you are here!

You’re such a source of calmness and beauty, - genuine strength - and If I had to give up all the KZread channels I’ve subscribed to, but one - your channel is the *one* that I would continue to subscribe to. ❤️

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

@nevenkamajcen3126

3 жыл бұрын

Me too!!! I wish for David to find the strength to share all of his life changing struggles, with us. We are a special kind of humans and would be able to help him thru his life struggles. But we also have to give David his space and time with which he is comfortable. From all of us, David.... “ WE ARE HERE FOR YOU”. 🖤 🖤 🖤 🖤 🖤 ❤️

Lol This makes me want to get back into training !

Thank you! This helps me understand why I have felt like I didn’t fit in for my whole life, it’s so good to know that I’m not alone in being this way.

@DavidBadurina

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad!

Thank you brother, I really needed this especially rn.

@DavidBadurina

2 жыл бұрын

Stay strong out there!

@tvm2209

2 жыл бұрын

@@DavidBadurina ✊

Sensitivity is a strength. You can use it for good but you can also use it to take down for example a passive aggressive person by answer them with total honesty and live such a person naked and exposed. Being sensitive to people or surrounding gives you a powerful insight.

Hi. Just recently found your channel, nice content. Also, just recently found I'm an INFJ (I guess, I made some tests...), and it helped (?) me to understand some things about me, like why I always felt like a freak, like I didn't belong anywhere, all that fun stuff. But... the more I look into it, the more depressed I get. I'm 37 years old, and I don't know how to handle this anymore. The constant rejections, not having a soul who I can relate to, and the drop that filled the bucket was recently this woman who I fell in love with (yeah, "love"... what a funny word, now that I think of it...). For context, all the relationships I had were with very, very toxic and dysfunctional people, and looking back, I know I didn't love them, I was with them because they "needed me" (you know, I thought I could "save" them... and ironically I did, and was cheated on two times in a row...). So, after the last one, I told myself that I wanted none of that again and completely shut myself from that possibility. Until I met her. It was like, I don't know, magic? She was someone I could talk to about anything, and although I wanted her, I told myself "No. Don't do this, it's not worth it." (now that I think of it, that was my intuition telling me to back off, and I now know all the red flags she waved that I chose to ignore...) but she started to insist we should hang out more, that I should ask her out, and one day I did. Oh God, what an embarrassment. The words wouldn't even come out of my mouth and to this day I don't know how was I able to say words with all the stuttering. And she said yes, we went out many times, had these great conversations, you know? Something I thought was only possible in inner monologues. Then she made me feel like there was something more, that she really wanted to be with me, so one day, I don't even know how I kissed her. I'm embarrassed to say, at 36 years of age, it was the first time in my life I ever did that. And everything was fine, until one day, out of the blue, she texts me and says "hey, you know what? I can't keep doing this, I thought I liked you, but it turns out I was only feeling needy..." I guess I don't have to explain how it felt. Now, how am I supposed to deal with this? How am I supposed to accept that I'll probably never be happy in my life, how can I accept that people simply like using other people? How am I supposed to deal with more of this in my life? I had a lifetime of abuse, both physical and mental throughout my whole existence. I was beaten to a pulp at home by my stepfather, was abandoned by my mother, then when she came back, I had to raise my sister... And I always thought "hey, things will get better. Just try to make the world better, and life will make it up to you one day"... right... I've been through hell already man, I can't take it anymore, no matter what I do, I feel like I'm worthless. When I look into the mirror, I don't see a human being, much less a man. I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't want to live like this anymore. I know, I should be patient, all that crap. But, how many more times can I tell myself "things will get better" until it just sounds like a hurtfull lie? I just want to die, I'm tired. I really am. At least now I know, there is nothing "wrong" with me. But I wish there was. I wish I had something that could be fixed. I guess I was just born broken.