For anyone who’s watching,
This video is about growing pain, and existential crisis in my 20s. It's also about how I find hope in dreams & love. I tried my best to visualize this part of my dairy but I know there's much much more to it.
At this chapter of my life reading philosophy works of Sartre and his existentialism really helped me. The more I learned the more I realized whether it is existentialism or nihilism or Camus's absurdism, it's all about hope. At the end of the day, they all give me a little courage to live my life.
When I went through it I felt really lonely and confused but I know it might be a common stage for everyone in their 20s. So if my journey can make anyone feel better that would mean a lot :)
Also, a reminder for everyone, we should always put our mental health first. Whether is depression or anxiety, always remember you will get better & you are not alone in this.
Find me on Instagram :)
@zoefornothing
A note about Fleabag:
I have been loving this show for so many years. And now I'm literally living in London like her, ridiculously now I look back I realized somehow I made my life just like hers (at least season 1). The line "I just want to cry all the time" is still in my head after so many years.
Part of me believes in a meaningless existence like she does, And I have wondered for years if that's the reason I find living in this world painful. I think I found myself a priest like she did. And now I realized the show was probably the original reason why I wanted to find myself a god to believe in. I kind of believe somehow it will ease my pain. I don't know if that life path is still open to me because sadly I saw my fox as well. I don't know what will happen in the future but I will be grateful and excited about whatever is gonna happen. I know there's always hope in life.
A note about The Hours:
This is definitely one of my favourite movies. For anyone who hasn't watched it before, the voice in the ending spoke about "the hours". The meaning of this is that "the meaning of life is in the details. It is in the hours of the day. The hours I spend doing what I love. The hours I spend in pain".