I wanted to say the whole point of this video is to ease your expectations and release your memories because these two things lead to disappointment and we try and blame someone for that. I do it all the time. And the horrible things people have done to me have been my greatest lessons. Those people have been my greatest teachers. And I really should be grateful to them for giving me those gifts. It's very hard to stop and see it that way. But it's the truth.

@jamescoderre9595

9 ай бұрын

Hmmm, .. I see where you're going with this. & yeah, you're right. Good perspective , lots of food for though there, those who hurt us are our teachers, wow ! deep, yet positive & a learning curve .🤔

@D-zv5pv

9 ай бұрын

I agree that we can learn from these people and they make you stronger. I don’t think all men cheat, that’s a stereotype that I don’t agree with😊

I'm a trans woman, but I rarely dress femininely. For me it's just about my body being feminine. And I don't care what people think.

@MrLeadsled69

5 ай бұрын

I’m nearing 55 years of age and 18 months of HRT. I’ll never “pass”, never. I take the same approach (“it’s just about my body being feminine”). I’m also learning to care less and less what others think. It’s incredibly liberating.

@iAL-zd8ke

2 ай бұрын

But you look so beautiful ❤

@iAL-zd8ke

2 ай бұрын

Atnie is very beautiful ❤

"They don't really want equality. They want lines to be drawn." Pow. I've spent my entire adult life dancing around, resisting, tripping over, railing against identity lines. That's a hard-hitting summary right there. Thanks for that. Your eyes look great, btw.

as a young trans woman, this account means so so much to me, thank you :)

I loved this video. It took a divorce and a lot of time and pain to realize that expectations kill relationships. BTW: Your new aesthetic is 🔥 Very Milla Jovovich ❤

As another transwoman, I agree with you, I share your beliefs, I love expressing my femininity with no expectations of approval. Being able to live both male and female is the best of both worlds, thanks again ❤

Thanks for the update video, this was like connecting with an old friend, I'm glad you're doing well. I have also been disappointed by family & friends who you think have your back only to find out that they don't or they're hypocitical, saying one thing to your face and another thing behind your back, it's disappointing but this is life, I find myself engaging with or rather bringing fewer people into my social circle as I get older, I just don't need the drama or BS & I agree with you that this is truely a moment in time that no one will remember because everything continually changes, William Sheakspeare wrote : All the world is a stage and we are merely players, performers & portrayers , each anothers audience inside this guilded cage, ( this paragraph was later borrowed by Neil Peart of Rush & used in the lyrics for their song Limelight.) Anyway keep doing you Jacueline and continue to experience your lifes journey on your terms & F, everybody else,. Oh and you're really rocking the haircut and men's white T-Shirt, Looking good. 😀👌

I just stumbled upon you and I'm so incredibly impressed! I'm 10 months hrt and still learning so this is such a great video to me!

Its always so refreshing to here you talk about so many of the same discoveries i myself have pondered over.Its such a pity you're so far away.I would love to sit,drink coffee and talk with you for hours.❤️

This is exactly why I subscribe to your channel. As an older trans woman, I don’t need to be put into these categories of perfection into what a trans woman should look like. I started my transition much later in life, and quite frankly the biggest thing that has made me happy is just having the right hormones in my body. Nothing more emotionally insulting, and painful, than to have the wrong hormones messing with your head.

Thank you for this video. I appreciate your perspective as always. You've matured even more. I think you're prettier than ever. Love your hair, and you're glowing.

Your Carrie Moss vibe is seriously strong today! Nice to have you back.

I do believe that many people can't seem to embrace the concept that other people's world views have as much merit as their own. In a sense, individuals, and society in general, have a propensity to focus on others and not ourselves. It's a shame really. As we focus on how we want the world and others to be defined, we miss tremendous opportunities to work on our own issues . . . our own deficits . . . and our own opportunities for growth. I appreciate your raw honesty. In reading the Good Samaritan, I can't escape the fact that story is for me too. My capacity for tolerance is vast, but one day it struck me. My greatest prejudice in life is intolerance of those who are intolerant of others. Perhaps many people would say that's not so bad, but if I read the story right, the person I understand the least is my neighbor. If we all could work on our own deficits, the world would indeed be a better place. I appreciate your raw and deeply layered insights! 🙂

this video helped me out a lot, thank you!!

Looking fresh! So lovely see you back in a video ❤

The 1st step on any spiritual path is to come to some understanding about one's self. The process begins once we understand we are spirits with a body and a mind.... Thankyou for msking these vids. Im not very familiar with the trans community but i know enough to see there are sincere people and there are grifters. I value your input because you seem very sincere.

Great video. I only have expectations for myself, goals, and where I want to be in my next journey in life. As far as everyone else, I use the trust system. I used this method when I was raising my daughter, and now she is a responsible adult who lives her life and how she feels fit. I think people who force their will and expectations of other people are narcissist.

Thank you for your perspective, as a transgender woman I find your opinions refreshing but can’t say that I agree or disagree. Keep up with your thoughts on Your Tube

Reaching a point where we don't really care what people think of our transition is profoundly freeing. To find that freedom allows me to make healthy decisions for myself when I was a people pleaser for too long.

Love your channel thank you.

I really love your style. I really like it and you eyes are super beautiful. Btw, this video really resonated with me. I have been on a denial for really long time, but i finally muster up enough courage to start my HRT. I know i am late in starting HRT but i couldn’t box my strong feeling for transitioning anymore. However, i do understand that i need to manage my expectation both transition and societal pressure. But like you, i really dont care about other people’s opinions since i am in later stage of my life. However, i dont expect them to treat me specially either. I dont expect that i am going to be 100% passable but i am just doing this for myself and try to take this transition one step at a time. i regretted my earlier life because i let other people’s expectation dictate how i live my life. Like being hyper masculine and dating women and expected to start a family. But since i have been on HRT for 1 year, i am really happy with myself.

@user-pw6gm1tu6q

9 ай бұрын

hey hope your well and happy i have a genuine question for you as im curious,if gender is just a social construct and u feel like and want to be a woman why are u gonna try and become more of a woman and 100 percent passable as u say,if gender is a construct why do u feel the need to make yourself more like that construct instead of just being who you are and calling that a woman,if its a construct why do u care what u look like?im asking with love

@Skiandcycle

9 ай бұрын

@@user-pw6gm1tu6q well, if i am the only person who live on this Earth, who cares if i am passable. However, i have to socialize with other people both personally and professionally. As much as i dont agree, we live in a binary society and i cant change that. If you present something people are not familiar, most Americans flat out reject it (i.e. Bud Light & Dylan Mulvaney). I think she shocked lot of people when someone like her has huge following on social network and also look really beautiful but openly transgender. This probably scared lot of cis people. In my case, i am not sure i want to be opened to strangers that i am a transgender and this is the main reason i want to do anything i can to be more passable both physically and socially. This is more for my protection because i think it is really dangerous to be transgender woman in US right now. However, i do understand i will have limitation. I am not sure i can pass 100% but if i manage my expectation and keep working on it, i think i can get there.

Been watching and subscribed since your first year on KZread. Agreed that there's definitely this double standard for transwomen that the cis-world around us tries to hold us to. They say we should be hyper-feminine, unless we do that, when they then say "real women" aren't hyper-feminine. Then when we're like that they're critical of us not being "feminine enough." Really they just want to always tell us that how we're presenting is wrong. Screw that. Just be who you are. Love your look right now by the way. And yeah, I've definitely had that feeling in a gay bar of, "Damn, I'm more masculine than all these gay guys." Also, I recently went to a lesbian camp and found myself one of the more feminine people there. I've also noticed my trans women friends run the gamut as well. I suppose I'm slightly more butch than most of them, but then again, I've been out the longest of any of them by far. Just like you said, after a while it just becomes like with anyone: you go one way, then the other, organically however you feel.

Well put observations. There are plenty of petite cis wome who also dress very masculine. They also burp publicly, drink beer from a can, watch sports… all that. It’s ridiculous that we even have to worry about how one individual conducts themselves versus another. We are all different.

This is why I'm writer! At least that can live on 100 years from now.

Very attractive...wow

Well said. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone could let go of their expectations and chill the "F" out? And chill the "M" and "LGTBQIA+" out too! 😁 By the way, I never cease to be amazed with how well you speak off-the-cuff in your videos. No notes or anything, and always entertaining and educational. It's basically a TED Talk! 👍

And then "if we are lucky" will wake up one day and find ourselves old and none of this really matters anymore. The human experience is all in our minds.

I think at the end you derailed your own point. I really liked and agreed with the entire foreground you established. The issue being at the end, "we're all gonna be dead in 100 years and your house will be bulldozed" was a bit nihilistic. Buddhism has a problem with existential nihilism. Gennerally the antidote is something of a constructivist attitude. Its funny because you have an immense source of character and strenght which I admire. And it's clear from your anecdotes, that it comes from building yourself up overtime. Taking the hard knocks, doing the personal reflections and unpacking the lessons from the experience (good or bad). I'm only saying this b/c I am a teacher and the question I'm most often asked, usually by HS students with depression/anxiety due to some deeper underlying issue, is "why bother, everythings too hard, and it's all meaningless anyway." I think the greatest strenth you offer people through your videos is your insight on life-the natual ups and downs-from a very honest and forthright first-person perspective. When I talk to my students, many of which are also disabled (I also teach Special Education) i make sure to remind them thay what they are building, whether at school, work or in their extracurriculars, is themselves. A better version of themselves for their future self to enjoy. It's essential to not undermine the best part of your message on this channel (finding the strength to change the things you cannot accept and finding the courage to accept the things you cannot change) by quickly tacking on "oh and its all B.S. anyways" at the end. As a Bay Area Death Metal Scum Bag, Ive learned alot about this community for your posts. Thank you for your time and videos keep posting. - Keenan

@Fiorwestcoast

6 ай бұрын

Technically the foundation of the 8 dangers includes nihilism in buddhist teachings. They even have practices and major teachings around it. So I wouldn't say it has a problem with it. I'd say it doesn't pretend it doesn't exist. But it definitely gives you tools on how to work with it. That is what Buddhism is. A tool. Nothing more. Thanks for the rest.

@TheAcidDrip

6 ай бұрын

@@Fiorwestcoast First off, thank you for taking the time to reply to my message. I appreciate the open discourse. Second. I mostly agree with what you have said about Buddhism and the issue of nihilism (both as a tool and danger). In my understanding of things (and I'm willing to be wrong, if such is the case) the Fat Smiling Buddha (Budai, who's like a shard/visage of the Buddah but is not literally Buddah-such as Christ is the son of God but not literally God in Christianity) represents the acceptance of the world. In the myths, Budai was known for carrying a sack of rice and giving sweets to children, effectively the embodiment of worldly needs ("literally" in the sense of survival-rice to eat-metaphorically in the sense of happiness and fulfillment-sweets given to children). This is meaningful because it represents the embrace of the world. Not everything can be "David Gogggins" moment, literally screaming your face off "who's gonna carry the boats!! Who's gonna carry the logs!!" Because that breaks people down and destroys them. You mention this as well, I'm try to avoid falsely attributing things to you. The point is, the Budai aspect of the Buddah is the equal opposite of what you spoke of. And without the Budai aspect (being generous, embodied in the world, kind to others, understanding and so forth) the world is one giant carnivorous ecosystem which ultimately cannibalizes itself. You mention this point in a video about people who rage against the "binary." Because w/o the binary, literally "non-binary" would not exist. I just wanted to dovetail this into what you've said else where, for context. I think many folks appreciate your commentary (I do, for one) since it puts things into perspective. Anyways, I have to study for my Master's Exam and I can't keep procrastinating (this shit sucks hahahaha). Best of wishes to you and so forth. - Keenan, Founder The Acid Drip LLC. 🤘Despite Exhaustion Always Dream🤘

@Fiorwestcoast

6 ай бұрын

@@TheAcidDrip I've thought I made it clear I study Tibetan Buddhism? If you wanted to know what exactly I was talking about when it comes to nihilism in Tibetan Buddhism all you had to do was ask. One of the 8 dangers by the first Dalai lama. Roaming the fearful wild of inferior practice And the barren wastes of absolutism and nihilism, They sack the towns and hermitages of benefit and bliss, The thieves of wrong views - please protect us from this danger! Please don't try and educate me on my spiritual perspective. If you're interested in discussing it that's one. Thing. Educating me is entirely another. Especially when you bring up something you dislike about it first.

I usually don't like shorter hairs but yours looks 💣

Beautifull😲😍😤👍👏👏 thank you

I decided to shave my head(currently wearing a flat top now) but still wearing lots of makeup while being trans and I don't meet the expectation

Hello from Sydney Australia 💅🙏💜🌞🤠

girl u NEED to have a podcast

People believe what they want to at the end of the day, and accepting that helped me gain more confidence in myself. Being intersex was was , and is, met with hostility by the same people in my life who were set on the "it's just science" angle regarding trans people. I have a deep voice and can dress masc as I want, but still get "ma'am" based on who's looking at me. And gay guys might talk to me for like a minute and turn back around. There's this weird dichotomy of what some tell you they see you as and how they actually treat you. I figured if I fought to get as far as I did, what's the point of making another box to put myself in? None of the people that mistreated me were really happy with how they were living. If I don't want to be like them, I shouldn't be thinking like them. I'm happy with who I am and the ways I've grown, and I hope they can get there too someday. We don't know every way we'll change, but we'll change. It's good to embrace the future, and I think a large part of that is not defining it before we see what that future actually is. But it's way easier said than done.

❤

My hero love this mama

U know u look better with brown eyes ;-) i still love you

When u release yourself from expectations it makes life a lot easier indeed. But that can't serve as a manner to justify lack of character. The people you mentioned just seemed frustrated with their own lives. Just be carefull around Buddhism because they see trans people as people who were bad in their past lives and were born trans as a form of bad karma.

@Fiorwestcoast

6 ай бұрын

And that is what I believe. Being trans isn't a negative btw.

I'm a trans as well, and i constantly make fun of some of my "normal" male friends that they're more like women than myself!

You're one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen period.

Is it possible to ask you more about transitioning questions? I don't want to post my question in Reddit because it can be weird in there..

I love the same as anyone!!!!

Fashion is so uncomfortable, tee shirt and jeans are so comfy. I quickly realised I’m a jeans and tee girl when I started on HRT, that’s just who I am and how I like to dress. I also like to be buff, not big muscles (that’s not my build) but strong and athletic. All my CIS girl friends are similar (don’t get me wrong frocking up is bloody great but there’s nothing like getting out of a pair of heels when you get home… appearance is really not what defines us). You mentioned that you want to break the stereo types, but I think if you’re busy busting stereo types you’re not giving yourself space to be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable, originality is non-existent. Also, who gives a crap about labels after countless years of being trans I really have lost track of gender norms, when you analyse the hell out of something for so long everything just starts looks the same- perhaps that’s just what happens when you get old.

subscribed

amazing many kisses from Greece xxxtom❤

Expectations = Resentments waiting to happen

You are gorgeous

You look so beautiful

You are stunning jaclyn you are such an open minded goddess you are beautiful person there are some closed minded assholes that will always see you as aman you will always be a woman in my eyers you are an awesome lovable person

Interesting, gay guys typically are not attracted to me. Grindr has a section for transgender people. But I find it difficult to get past a sex only relationships.

@Fiorwestcoast

7 ай бұрын

The key is now, feminine and masculine are very blurred. And people are becoming far more fluid in their sexuality

Jacklin have you ever dated someone and been in their kids lives with

For a Trans, You are very stunning looking!!

@Fiorwestcoast

9 ай бұрын

There are many stunning trans women

@sophie20015

9 ай бұрын

​@@Fiorwestcoast Exactly. And although not as often these past couple decades, I still hear: "you look good for your age". There are many nice-looking elderly people, even those of us without our natural teeth. 😁

Vc e linda perfeita intelligente em fim maravilhosa

10:45 gay men still don’t find trans women attractive. They’re simply too feminine for us, but bi or heterosexual males do.

@Fiorwestcoast

9 ай бұрын

Many gay men are into trans men and trans women now. Depends on the person.

You have blue eyes?

Lives;?

Girl you look like a billion dollars after taxes!