I used to pretend I was a different child in a stable loving family. I had a different name, emotional, social and economic status. Everything was perfect in this life unlike mine. It somehow brought me comfort.

@teemadarif8243

12 күн бұрын

I get that.

Wow. Somehow I never imagined there were other people out there like me. It feels so shameful to only get through the day because you are imagining yourself as something else.

@moscowcowboy_13

18 күн бұрын

My day is drifting from one daydream to another, I can literally get lost in my own head sometimes. I have seen people escape into the fantasy of Alcoholics Anonymous, thinking they were do good, when all they were doing is escaping reality.

@DobermanDanK9

18 күн бұрын

​@moscowcowboy_13 When you say "do good", they're acting out behaviours to be 'good', but in a fantasy realm?

@kevinel1398

18 күн бұрын

@@moscowcowboy_13I think AA is not a fantasy and helps reunite a lot of people with their families

@Damngoodchicken_

18 күн бұрын

It’s called maladaptive daydreaming

@Dustin-jg6ms

9 күн бұрын

Good 'ol music always connects with true self.

Very hard to leave the fantasy world. Because it keeps you happy in the most trying times. But I've been trying to let go of mine

I like these bite sized clips for those that dont have the attention for the full message, still recommend watching the full ones though, Be blessed Pastor Tim

Father left when i was 6. Grew up in poverty. Stayed in a perpetual daydreaming state involving me being an entirely different person. At 58 its mostly subsided but its still there.

I was subjective to emotional and physical abuse for most of my childhood. I escaped through fanticies. I use fanticies to help me fall asleep as well

I found mine to be fantasies of standing up for myself and being heard. Fantasy where I say all the right things and people listen and we solve problems. that's not happening. I think it has to do something with that ideal self you were talking about.

One method of escapism not mentioned is hero fantasies. Both men and women can do this but I've seen more men mess their lives up with this - for example, spending so much time fantising about saving their loved ones from a break-in or natural disaster that they aren't able to be present in their loved ones' lives for day-to-day small things (eg, washing dishes, going on walks, saving money for a rainy day, noticing little things that need doing and taking care of them). This means that their loved ones feel neglected and uncared for because all the caring feelings get directed into imaginary fantasies that have no impact on the family's actual real life. I've found any form of escapism can be harmful (even exercise, creativity, socialising, work, etc). It is healthier to find fulfillment in several areas of life so that if some areas are going badly, you have other things to fall back on. I am trying to work towards having boundaries around escapism - setting aside certain amounts of time for a specific interest and letting myself be absorbed fully without guilt or trying to multitask. It's a work-in-progress 😅

@mandystuart4909

14 күн бұрын

Interesting, my adoptive father, who was horribly abuse us, had these fantasies. One in particular was if we were lost in the desert and dying of thirst, he would sacrifice his spit and spit into our mouths so that we might survive. I believe the reality would be that he would cut our veins and drink our blood to ensure his survival, whilst making us feel like we were being noble by letting him

@keithmarlowe5569

4 күн бұрын

Thank you for the thoughtful comment. I'm a procrastinator, and I have learned procrastination isn't the problem, but attempted solution. Work a holism and procrastination are both symptoms of the same issue, just different manifestations.

Tim You are fabulous. Your explanations are to the point and so easy to understand. Thankyou 😊

I feel like I'm constantly in a state of fantasy - well not constantly but I catch myself losing huge amounts of time to them, about 50% are positive as you describe, and about 50% are not pleasant, they are fantasies about me acting out some violence, usually verbal, on another human being to help me right some feeling that they have wronged me. The positive ones are about being loved and go on for years. My longest one started when I was around 11 years old and I'm now 56. I meditate and try to be present, try to keep note of how much of my life is wasted on this stuff, but it feels like it's bigger than me

I escape into work, not fantasy. It's more engrossing, and it is literally endless. You can't run out of work. Of course, I know what I'm doing, but other efforts haven't really been successful, and at least this method is productive.

@ANME1rocker

17 күн бұрын

Efforts into processing your emotions and trauma?

@mandystuart4909

14 күн бұрын

difficult if you are stressed at work, and it suggests that this type of escapism is voluntary. that's not my experience. but well done you!

@Anahi-yg8lt

13 күн бұрын

I’m doing a combination of mindfulness and lots of work. I started working with special ed kids and they’ve been my saving grace ❤ It’s a lot of work, but so worth it! I’m always busy putting all my efforts into helping them progress in their physical, social and emotional struggles that I don’t have all that extra time to ruminate on my own.

@Crown_company

13 күн бұрын

Bro saw your comment, I'm the same! Money and success is power than I can control the environment, the environment "I" create is safe... But for me I'm learning that i can't control people 🎉... Tim's the man ! Much love from nz

@-astrangerontheinternet6687

13 күн бұрын

“Make work your favorite!” -from the movie elf. I say that line a few times a week.

I would daydream that I was a popular movie star with tons of friends and no lack of choice when it came to dating. It was literally my only escape from the reality where I was being abused and bullied at worst and ignored at best.

Thanks for helping me understand myself better so I can begin the long journey of recombination of the Brain. 🙏🦅

Thank you for sharing this info. It is very useful.

The fantasy escapism is a coping mechanism it has its pitfalls for me like limerance and relationship OCD but overall it has kept me from being in the worse state of despair and hopelessness

Thank you for this Mr. Tim🙏🏽🙏🏼

Thank you for including examples of healthy fantasies❤

So, describes the problem but what's a solution?

@TimFletcher

18 күн бұрын

That's a great question! Tim offers some healthy strategies for escapism in the full lecture here: kzread.infoS4cCEM8d6yg. In complex trauma, often the most important step in finding a solution is to recognize the behaviors and become aware of the 'why' behind them. From there, you can learn more about yourself, your needs, and develop the tools necessary to address the complex trauma at the root of your problems.

Thank you. 🙏🏾

Been there. My music is such.

Big dog tim, this is me to a T, THANK YOU... Fear of violence and rejection! Escaping to work is more my thing... I get angry and go pick on bullies for emotional release. Looking for healthy ways to deal with my anger ... Much love from New Zealand

I know this very well, days fly by...

I know people that live in fear and terror of a totally unrealistic future, they imagine possibilities of destruction and famine and suffering that are not even close to ever happen in their reality. They suffer very much and make them live in fear and isolation.

I do so much of this, i am on the path of healing but this is a hard coping mechanism since i didnt even notice i have done it to escape the pain

Is this the same as maladaptive daydreaming?

@INameIsGood

18 күн бұрын

From what I understand, he is talking about the same thing

@Tutume1111

18 күн бұрын

Seems like

i cant let that go, my drug fantasies are the only thing keeping me functional, theres nobody else, and this shit in my head is not going anywhere, living with this shit since im 12..cmon man take my drugs away and im done, its sad, but it is what it is

@debrakarr996

14 күн бұрын

U may find your true self if u take the will power u were given at birth to use by getting the drugs out. God is there lean on him without giving up. It takes work each and everyday. God Bless u

Forgive the Past Stand in the Power of God ToDay I am Loved 🥰 and Blessed 😇

Dissociation for too long becomes the norm. The way back uneasy and covered with thorns...

Oh ya. I got good evil fantasies I use for escapism the pains of life to the point that God had to intervene. I'm over sinning in imagination. And it's a sweet life inside my head. Thank you God for imagination

It is dissociation.

The pains being escaped from in this sound entirely psychological - is that similar to, the same as, or uniquely different from, people who are using fantasy to escape the pain from neurological autoimmune diseases which have no cure?

@TimFletcher

18 күн бұрын

It may depend on the type of escapism being used to cope, although when trying to escape from chronic physical pain there are probably many healthy ways to do it. In the end, if the form of escape ends up being more harmful than beneficial, it could be worth finding other ways to cope.

…. Nobody told me he was Mr. wrong and that brought up a lot of issues with my mother because I know she hated him with a smile plastered on her face for 50 years 👵

I don't pretend that im something else, but that im me in another world. I should write a book about it. But im not a writer .

Wtf im a writer i need my day dreams bro

@positivevibe7684

18 күн бұрын

I can relate. I enjoy writing poetry. I was glad to hear him say that having fantasies can be helpful for self-healing. I felt that way before I heard him say it. I guess what it boils down to is distinguishing reality from fantasy. And don't get too caught up in your fantasy world. Although I understand why some people want to stay there. 🤣🤣

@TimFletcher

18 күн бұрын

Those day-dreams are the healthy kind!

Porn hasn't been mentioned but is a big thing i struggle wirh

@gandfgandf5826

6 күн бұрын

By struggle do you mean excessive consumption of it, or thinking it's real? Just curious about your meaning. Respectfully. 😊

My family is a bunch of codependent idiots because of my narcissistic mother

My mother spent her entire life escaping into the fantasy world of Catholicism. She was never able to distinguish fantasy from reality. It destroyed our relationship.

@Bakarost

18 күн бұрын

What? Are you a crazy protestant that thinks catholics arnt christian? If so, then your logic is flawed. What your saying is, the first 1000 years of christanity that there were no christians, and that wasnt until marther luther when real christanity came to be. That makes no sense. U calling jesus a liar since for the first 1000 years he was wrong

@Bakarost

18 күн бұрын

What? Why did you feel to take a cheap shot at my faith? What were you trying to achieve?

@mobilityproject3485

17 күн бұрын

In what ways?

@3176sue

13 күн бұрын

Catholic Faith is not a fantasy. I don’t imagine people can use faith of any kind to hide behind though

@trishayamada807

11 күн бұрын

My mother as well. I’m being abused and her advice, pray the rosary and pray to god. Thanks for nothing.

I think there’s a big difference between imagination and fantasy. One God gave to us to use as a tool, one is a deception of the present .

Yes! I have been doing it my whole life.

And everyone hete knows that !!!

In law, spacing out is illegal

lol perhaps I am los Don Quijote let no fire breathing wind turbine go unpunished 😬

Replace fantasy with? Reality? No thanks. Watch the news to see what passes for reality? No thanks. I have a rich imaginal inner landscape. That's life for me. 😊

The past what 4 years have not ben a fantasy !! Except to thise who believe you can save koney without a job !!! Everyone also its in my email it seems like from the middle east to asia to the world economy !! I been eoght about all of it !! And the proof its roght there in the news !!!

Anyone else here realize they too use porn to escape ourselves instead of sexual gratification?

Does playing world of warcraft like a crackhead for 15 hours at a time count? 😂😂

Such value in this information thank you Tim but if you don’t mind me saying I was very surprised to hear you saying the F word and other cuss words on a program I saw the other day. I always thought of this as a Christian program but maybe it is not anymore. You can get your point across so purely and beautifully without the profanity. I was quite confused by it.

@c55amg63

18 күн бұрын

Get over it !! It’s only words of expression, it’s not like it was directed at you personally, And as for your good Christian religion comment it’s got a heap worse things than a few swear words to be worried about !!

@positivevibe7684

18 күн бұрын

​@@c55amg63Very well stated 👏 ❤❤

@ElizabethaSara

18 күн бұрын

@@c55amg63 I’m guessing you are not Tim but my comment was for Tim. There is nothing for me to get over as I was just expressing a compliment on Tim’s excellent teachings and being confused and surprised by hearing the cussing and f word and im sure if Tim responded he would be understanding of my concern. You may want to check into your strong reaction to my comment and it seems as though you were quite triggered by it. As for the religious comment, I don’t really think I said one. Have a Christian program is just being like Christ. The Jewish people never had cuss words and had to borrow from other nations to even add them to their vocabulary.

@taspany

18 күн бұрын

Oh please.... Out of all the horrible things he talks about like neglect and abuse that's what disturbed you? So hypocritical!

@ElizabethaSara

17 күн бұрын

@@taspany once again this question was not directed at you or anyone else and hopegully you are watching these videos because like the last commenter your very strong reaction shows that my comment triggered you to call someone you don’t even know hypocritical. I will private message Tim but I have every right to appreciate the amazing work Tim does and be surprised or confused about him cussing or saying the f word maybe I shouldn’t have written it here publicly but it is my question I have a right to have it, there is nothing hypocritical about it and for you to you call me a name really is the opposite of what Tim is trying to do here, this is not healthy conversation.

That's the "Folie a Deux"... the "shared fantasy" and its powerful. It almost destroyed my life. Don't do it. Get out, now!