Ep.65 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Are you ready for the Big Game on February 7th?! Come hang out with the bears and special guest Warren Sapp as they watch both teams face off in the final game of the season. Get tickets at livestream.ymh...
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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode by discussing their upcoming 2 Bears, 1 Sapp "Big Game" live show with NFL Hall of Famer Warren Sapp. They also discuss things normal, sober people do, surfing in Hawaii, the "Nightstalker" Richard Ramirez, Japanese war crimes during World War II, Armie Hammer's leaked DMs, and Vice President Kamala Harris' sorority affiliation.
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Bart: "I'm not an alcoholic, quit calling me the A-word." Also Brent: "I get depressed when I can't get wasted in the middle of the day."
@ciaranohagan5726
3 жыл бұрын
Yes. Bart and brent.
@MarlowWhere
3 жыл бұрын
Pretty normal with any substance that becomes regular. Ive been like that when I ran out of weed. So I dont smoke weed much anymore
@leehomer6642
3 жыл бұрын
Bruce is crazy
@deja.nextdoor
3 жыл бұрын
Gotta love beck crazy ol guy
@NecroSonic1
3 жыл бұрын
It's like Dr Keister and Mr Chrysler
"I was fucking wasted, then I went to go pickup my kids" burnt cycler everyone
@andrewcampbell9mm
3 жыл бұрын
did he use the skateboard to pick them up
@guyty5731
3 жыл бұрын
Burnt Chrysler!
@stikdude22
3 жыл бұрын
Lmaooo just made this comment myself
@stikdude22
3 жыл бұрын
Acted like he didn’t get the suit then said he already had it
@jamestobin4849
3 жыл бұрын
@@bad1080 ah 100 percent
Nothing makes Bert happier than when he genuinely makes Tom laugh. Great friends make great content
Hey guys I’ve been a huge fan for years and I just wanted to share with you that I had a baby girl! I’m so happy and for some reason I feel the need to share it with you guys
@TechVikingHunter
2 жыл бұрын
Congrats buddy
@petertheoneandonly9752
2 жыл бұрын
Congrats! Keep those diapers high n tite
@alexanderjeromewhite2380
2 жыл бұрын
That's beautiful
@moth-guy6831
2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations my guy
@Mrich775
2 жыл бұрын
Congrats my dude 🤙
Bring Back "Somthing is burning" That was the funniest cooking show of all time.
@AmandaBurns14
3 жыл бұрын
I agree, I loved it and miss it! Great guests and sometimes good food
@aroff595
3 жыл бұрын
Legit the best thing bart has ever done
@noljuan6963
3 жыл бұрын
It was actually the best cooking show ever in the beginning because it was a good mix of comedy and guests and the food I feel like later it got more about the guests and less about food
@jimdean76
3 жыл бұрын
100% Mr. Kersher needs to bring back that show!
@adrianmcanally5227
3 жыл бұрын
I want to be a chef and memorized the health code and I love watching somethings burning cause Bert forgets not to touch his clothes
Bert: I'm not an alcoholic I just drink in the morning, think about it all day and get depressed when I can't.
@mrboberson7424
3 жыл бұрын
Dude, gears was awsome
@fuckwhysoserious
3 жыл бұрын
Text-book Alcoholic..haha
@BBQDanTheMan
3 жыл бұрын
@@mrboberson7424 Yes it is!
@a.k.4o
3 жыл бұрын
He's not an alcoholic. Alcoholics can't quite for 50 days
@purchai26
3 жыл бұрын
@@a.k.4o yes they can
Bert learned SO much this episode.
“He ran our country, and Japanese people ate his friends” *cries laughing*
Burt being newly obsessed with history, is a real setback for fans of history.
@JakeBobProductions
3 жыл бұрын
That sounds like a onion title
@TimTheImpaler
3 жыл бұрын
They should book Dan Carlin so he can listen to Bert
@scotthalperin7798
3 жыл бұрын
sounds like a Norm Macdonald joke
@YourLastWish
3 жыл бұрын
@@scotthalperin7798 lol maybe. Who's to say the person who wrote the Bible didn't have Bert's intelligence? Their accuracy might be just as off.
@vxcorwinxv
3 жыл бұрын
Don't worry, he'll be the Alex Jones of history.
Bert: "I'm not an alcoholic but every time the wind blows I want to get hammered"
@DesmondSunflower
3 жыл бұрын
Armie Hammered?
@TheWhyLee
3 жыл бұрын
@@DesmondSunflower Armie Hammered to death
Listening to other podcasts makes me realize how much this one is just a AA meeting for brett
@ezrhawalraven1862
3 жыл бұрын
I thought it was Bruce?
@edholmes1386
3 жыл бұрын
Brad knows your not really fans
@HighLandsofJalisco
3 жыл бұрын
Fuck you're right 😆 I'm also in AA and it makes sense.
@itsSteaLy
3 жыл бұрын
an*. and it's Brad kushner. you tok.
@charlottem.1477
3 жыл бұрын
Burnt?
Bert: “I’ve been barely drinking “. Also Bert: “Wine doesn’t count as a drink”.
@billiammontgomery720
3 жыл бұрын
This is the frustrating kinda stuff my dumb-addict-ass is complaining into the void about. “Oh I haven’t been drinking lately, it feels so good to be sober. Oh but FitVine doesn’t really count. 3 drinks isn’t really drinking. And the Xanax to stop the shakes helps me not overeat at night. And the Kratom and Vicodin are a way to stay sober “ Cmon man
@billiammontgomery720
3 жыл бұрын
He’s so honest and willing to share, which is so refreshing to hear, but at the same time disingenuous. It really bums me out a bit for some reason
@TheUtahKid
3 жыл бұрын
Definitely man, it’s hard to watch addicts struggle. But he’s got an excuse for everything...
@TheUtahKid
3 жыл бұрын
Generally when people have such a visceral reaction to being called an alcoholic, it’s because it’s true, and it hurts.
9 out of 10 trainers recommend a post-run stogie.
@blusun2
3 жыл бұрын
Uh Hundred Percent
@Iufyflash
3 жыл бұрын
Uhhhh hunerd percent
@staynielherbayn657
3 жыл бұрын
Uhhhhhh hundred percent Also don’t forget the bottle of wine on the treadmill
@davidaddley4932
3 жыл бұрын
And if they dont they are dumb
@SlipperyDad
3 жыл бұрын
It sounded to me as if he meant it was a mid-jog stogie. Which is far crazier.
Gets depressed because he can't drink until the end of the day, but isn't an A-word. Good ol' Bruce Kreischer.
@quantumXkyle
3 жыл бұрын
Right? That's exactly what an alcoholic is
@SamAsMe
3 жыл бұрын
Bert: "Dont call me the A word" Also Bert: Proceeds to describe some of the hallmarks of addictive behavior pathology and ask Tom if this is normal for the entire episode.
@Beunibster
3 жыл бұрын
He's an All-Cool-Holic
@goosemack3587
3 жыл бұрын
Bert Kursher!
@halphillips3703
3 жыл бұрын
*takes xannies regularly but is scared to take an eddie*
I cant tell if nadav got fired, quit, or just took the day off.
@TheEverettSchulter
3 жыл бұрын
Or died
@kobebryant5925
3 жыл бұрын
Seriously, He didn't even post on his twitter about the new 2 bears being up on youtube... makes me think somethings up. lol
@andrewcampbell9mm
3 жыл бұрын
They so casually just touched on the subject and spent literally like 10 seconds talking about it
@danstainback4208
3 жыл бұрын
Garth got him
@phenomenalwoman6111
3 жыл бұрын
Maybe he just had to quit 2bears because they're moving to Texas??
Barn Crusher is bringing the heat! Tommy “Broken but not forgotten” Sugars is inspirational as always.
Tommy Buns looking like he runs high-stakes poker games in LA
@josef2012
3 жыл бұрын
Armenian gangster
@christianvolvonis4468
3 жыл бұрын
"This son of beech, all night he check check check!"
@JerseyfreshXx
3 жыл бұрын
Wait a second, is that the Gentleman’s track suit from last episode? Did they actually buy them?
@kieran8720
3 жыл бұрын
@@JerseyfreshXx sho is
@kieran8720
3 жыл бұрын
@@JerseyfreshXx tommy's feathering... full proto, he's a whole white baby breh
I’m not an alcoholic - then proceeds to literally qualify himself as one in every way possible.
@Unity1975
3 жыл бұрын
“I get depressed if I know I have shit to do and I can’t get wasted.” YUP.
@JSorb
3 жыл бұрын
@@daledodge40 thank you professor.
@tanyadouglas5241
3 жыл бұрын
And he thinks about Drinking All the Time 🤣🤣🤣
@peanutgallery7753
3 жыл бұрын
I think he just wants to not be called that. It's his N word lol
The last third of this episode may be the most consistent level of back and forth dialogue between Brent ant Tim ive seen in a while. Brent didn’t just fucking scream the whole time
@scarymsmary
3 жыл бұрын
Right? I really enjoyed it!
Bret: “I’m obsessed with history” he says after watching one documentary
@dobrilabijelic1631
3 жыл бұрын
To be fair he also read a book.
@dobrilabijelic1631
3 жыл бұрын
I think it was an audio book
@Beunibster
3 жыл бұрын
@@dobrilabijelic1631 I think it was a pop-up
@user-dt4uh3jm7p
3 жыл бұрын
@@Beunibster damn🤣
@mrbungle3310
3 жыл бұрын
He knows more than 80% of people,i know a few people that know what he said
It's weird how Thom was the one who got injured, but Bart is showing the signs of brain damage.
@TRYHARDGAMER604
3 жыл бұрын
Says the person that misspelled a 4 letter word...💀
@KarpralisLup
3 жыл бұрын
@@KrimetTStarKiller He's just jealous of my Eastern-European jeans
@rickypineda157
3 жыл бұрын
Thom She-gura
@therealOXOC
3 жыл бұрын
@@KrimetTStarKiller the signs tell you're tiktoked
@KarpralisLup
3 жыл бұрын
Wait, I want to pivot this thread to finding out what happened to Mr. Nadav?
I wanna see "NBA players react to Tom Segura's dunking accident".
Thanks for making my day a little bit better guys. Really appreciate it.
Bert wanting to get hammered "every time the wind blows" fuckin killed me.
@AtlasTurner
3 жыл бұрын
The round-a-bout way he said every time the wind blows as well lol deffo not an Alchy
Bert: I'm not an alcoholic. Also Bert: Proceeds to talk in detail about the specifics of his alcoholism, and asks questions about how "regular people" (ie. anyone who isn't an alcoholic) feel during their day when they aren't constantly thinking about alcohol
@billiammontgomery720
3 жыл бұрын
Its so frustrating sometimes listening to him exaggerate and deny. I’m a big fan, and in my worthless opinion he deserves all of his success and is inspiring in a weird way. I feel like he could help a lot of people if he were just a bit more honest. Not saying he owes us anything, not at all. But yea, for some reason it’s frustrating to listen to sometimes. Sorry for the stupid rant
@dustinb1070
3 жыл бұрын
They've talked about the dark side of his drinking a few times on jre, bert's solo cast, bert's wife's podcast and possibly tigerbelly.
😂 when Tom talked about how much he hates when people don’t want to keep their headphones on during the podcast, and then you watch the YMH with Pauly Shore
@Christopher-md7tf
3 жыл бұрын
Michael Rapaport was bad, too
@kathleenalba3368
3 жыл бұрын
literally thinking the same thing
Tom is such a good friend, Bert talks in detail about how he drank water from a horse trough and he doesn't even acknowledge it
"Keep going." - Bert's new "imma let you talk for a sec" conscious phrase.
@kjcorder
3 жыл бұрын
"I'm done with this current interruption. Keep going so I can interrupt again"
@jaelucky388
3 жыл бұрын
Ha! I caught that too!
@OsideDubHead
3 жыл бұрын
😂 Glad somebody else notice that I think Tom barely got 2 words in the entire Podcast haha
@robertbowman9209
3 жыл бұрын
Probably picked it up from Andrew Schulz
Tom: *receives a package with fabric in it* Tom: omg it's a hand
@zoozercattacrezooz4646
3 жыл бұрын
I want one of those, wish i knew the brand
@ballisticmonkey999
3 жыл бұрын
@@zoozercattacrezooz4646 Its Studio G
@zoozercattacrezooz4646
3 жыл бұрын
@@ballisticmonkey999 its sewing brothers
@voolproov
3 жыл бұрын
To be fair, he said the package came from Russia.
The story about the girl that leads with her tongue could be a great Seinfeld episode.
@westonforced-last-name-dis3560
3 жыл бұрын
Idk I... I just don't like her thumbs... lol xD
"I haven't drank since-" Stop Burnt. Just stop.
I love Tom as Bert's therapist today.
Bert was really listening when Tom was talking about trauma. BIG UPS to Bert for that
Bert's understanding of the russian revolution is so wrong it's comical.
@n0npareiL
2 жыл бұрын
I don't know anymore. The stupidity is so staggering that it tips over and I just cringe.
Bert being crushed when Tom says he’s already “invited friends” out with him on tour & this is the first Bruce is hearing about this...
@LGG393
3 жыл бұрын
“Non-comic friends” he said. Lol
"Don't call me an alcoholic" 5 minutes later T: "How much do you think about drinking?" B: "A lot"
@rickyrampage3732
3 жыл бұрын
100 PERCENT
This has been one of my favorite episodes ever!! Love just hearing y’all talk as friends in your little therapy sessions!
I hope Nadav is not gone for good, the background laughter wouldn’t sound the same.
Bert is sobering up. He finally realised the volume of his voice
@sativarosegold3604
3 жыл бұрын
But not his laugh
@ssyankee121
3 жыл бұрын
@@sativarosegold3604 haha i don't think he could do anything about that
@nicholascash7002
3 жыл бұрын
That just means he’s trying not to act drunk
@kissmystamps
3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha
I'd love a roadmap of Burnt's stories and how they branch out after he interjects. It's amazing.
@jonathannagel7427
3 жыл бұрын
Like an old AAA paper map, that’s going to be very large... and ripe with dead ends.
@niteshade8546
3 жыл бұрын
A "beautiful mind" type room full of sticky and smelly strings.
@timstradley5819
3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha a visual would be great
@timstradley5819
3 жыл бұрын
@@niteshade8546 😂😂
@blainebrown8824
3 жыл бұрын
It would look like a 3 yr old drew it.
My favorite part is Tom saying Nadav is dead and than plugs merch
“He ran our country and Japanese people ate his friends” lol
Last time I was this early, Bert was still racist. He’s come a long way.
@RolandSpecialSauce
3 жыл бұрын
Oh that racism hasn't gone anywhere. He tricked you.
@shanestephens4728
3 жыл бұрын
@@RolandSpecialSauce Any celebrity that is woke, is full of shit.
@WandoMcBallz
3 жыл бұрын
So u were early last episode?
@TheGogogogogogo
3 жыл бұрын
@@shanestephens4728 search big tittie maids
@shardhoney
3 жыл бұрын
he's still racist, but it's the woke kind of racism
Tom, after being forced to spend 9 straight months at home with his family: "I feel like someone who's gone to prison and I just want to get back to my life" 😂😂
@penniewyatt9391
3 жыл бұрын
Many of us feel like we have been on house arrest, and have had way less interaction. I’m a huge introvert and even I’m starting to get pretty depressed. Less than 10 times out in public in ten months, including dr appointments and grocery shopping. They just cancelled the vaccine shipments to my county due to shortages since we have lower numbers.
@8:00 I'm very glad I don't need social media therefore I don't have one. Not facebook, not IG, twitter or even tumblr. It's honestly the best feeling ever. Not having to talk to people by force or checking what everyone else is doing it's amazing. People should try it
I really enjoy these longer episodes!
"Sickler is such a great interviewer!!" - Bruce Kersher. He uses this rare technique, where he asks a question, and then let's the guest talk. It's pretty fucking wild!!
@sthomasond
3 жыл бұрын
I find burt really good at it on his own show. But here he acts like hes a special guest
@richardbutkis
3 жыл бұрын
@@sthomasond he's definitely special.
Tom described an “ entourage” and Bert acts like it’s a new idea
@ChichiNaka
3 жыл бұрын
Bert thinks so many things are original thoughts because he's kinda had the same 5 ideas daily since college
@churgerr2820
3 жыл бұрын
@Pacified Democracy liberal?
@TheRealBeastMcNasty
3 жыл бұрын
@Pacified Democracy they are playing it up for entertainment. They both do a ton of podcasts and guarantee they run out of shit to say so they do this shit.
Bert going to surf and hang with Nathan Florence and/or Jamie O'Brien would be PURE GOLD!
Bert interrupting to say "Keep going!"
Hanging out with actual friends is the most original idea Bert ever heard.
@cartoongrump
3 жыл бұрын
Ha!
@alexanderjeromewhite2380
3 жыл бұрын
Ya whenci was young I would only for the most part hang out with whoever had weed instead of my real friends and it was awesome Sarcasm
Ted looks more like a GTA character every episode
@kalakefonua7472
3 жыл бұрын
Big Niko Bellic vibes
@JoE-kx7dw
3 жыл бұрын
Oh shit, here we go again.
Bert: don’t call me an alcoholic Also Bert: I want to get wasted every time the wind blows
This is one of those episodes that makes me want to scream:"Bert....STFU!!!!! Stop interrupting!"
Bert “i got hammered and had to go pick up my daughters” kreischer
@Kav3h
3 жыл бұрын
yeah, wtf Bert
@mrguy561
3 жыл бұрын
@@Kav3h He picked them up on the skateboard
@Kav3h
3 жыл бұрын
@@mrguy561 must have been a long board
@mrguy561
3 жыл бұрын
@@Kav3h It’s actually a surf board with wheels on it because Burnt is too fat for anything smaller
@Kav3h
3 жыл бұрын
@@mrguy561 a actual surfboard with wheels, lol, does it still have a fin, is it still 6 feet long. Jesus Christ
3 city run and Bert starts off by saying “Atlanta, Mississippi...” Bert’s the geography champ!
Bert was crazy on Todays pod, he was all over the place in the first 30 mins. I had to pause this until i had a beer to understand him
1:36:00 Bert acting like Tom invented the concept of an entourage 😂
Thank you guys for making Monday’s so much better
It's so refreshing to actually hear Tim speak
"Bash my brains in Armie" - almost pissed myself at that part. hahahah
TO THE MOON HOLD IT BOYS!!! 🚀🚀🚀💎🙌🏻
I’m so early I can still hear the dog crying
Bert: “Don’t call me an alcoholic, I’m not” Also Bert: “I get depressed when I have stuff to do during the day because I don’t have the possibility of just getting wasted whenever I want”
@frecklefart909
3 жыл бұрын
That's still not being an alcoholic though.... So your contradicting point is not that contradicting.
Bert: 'History is definitive'. I think historians for once would all agree, that history is not definitive.
Bert's face at 1:02:43 is like all depressed thinking "why has no one ever wanted me to eat them"
bruce is poppin xans like tic tacs but worried if edibles are bad for you, that's like comparing a cup of coffee to a gram aof meth
@carynmartin6053
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@jmmyjimmy106
3 жыл бұрын
I mean he takes the Xanax because he has anxiety problem so it would make sense that a drug that causes or at the least could exacerbate that issue would be a cause for concern.
@texanstry2027
3 жыл бұрын
@@jmmyjimmy106 Yes but he abuses them and you're an idiot if you don't think xanax are addicting or can fuck you up. Used to pop em like skittles and it damn near ruined my life
@jmmyjimmy106
3 жыл бұрын
@@texanstry2027 I mean he literally said how he specifically decided not to take one and to sit and stew in the pain, definitely addict behavior... Who said Xanny's weren't addictive lmao? I've had to watch my own parents be consumed by prescription pills bud. Also I'm fairly certain Bert has stated he is on an extremely low mg dose(2-5mg) and he still doesn't use the entire bar... Yeah sounds like someone is really abusing them huh? From what I can remember the Xanax is mainly for when he has to fly duento his anxiety.
@texanstry2027
3 жыл бұрын
@@jmmyjimmy106 And you believe him?? 😂😂 Hoooow many times has Bert straight up lied then got caught? Numerous including this podcast, he literally drank on his wife's podcast a few days ago. You can't believe anything this joker says.
Tom I'm in tears listining to your kind heartedness brining friends on tour etc. My lady OD'd this past weekend and all the other shit that I've been dealing with in life, everything has just been such a shit show! I literally can't wait for Monday's podcast to put a smile on my face as I sit here crying. Love you guys so much! I hope you're healing well... You're so blessed to have a beautiful smart and funny woman in your life!
@VideoNozoki
3 жыл бұрын
Hey David, I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with something so difficult right now. Many years ago I had something (not exactly the same, but somewhat similar). It was all I could think about 24/7 and at the time I couldn't imagine ever getting past it. I'm glad you are doing things (I guess they call it 'self-care') like listening to a funny podcast, and engaging in conversation. In my case, it really-really sucked for about 6months to a year. Then it still sucked, but not 24/7. It took some time. Now my life has moved forward and I am in a happy place (for many years now). I don't know if this will mean anything to you (coming from one internet stranger to another), but as a person, as one guy to another, my heart goes out to you. In my case, I found that forcing myself to just go for a walk (just a normal walk for 20-30 minutes, no agenda, just to get out of the house) really helped me a lot. I'm not a professional, this is just something that helped me a lot. If that is an option for you, I hope you will try it, and I hope it helps you too. Take care of yourself.
@kieran8720
3 жыл бұрын
If she passed sorry for your loss, if she made it hopefully she recovers fast unlike nadav's googling, can get clean and doesn't end up tokked like Bruce KREISCHER. I hope you are or can get clean as well if you struggle with substance abuse like ten milligram tommy does, I know these aren't original thoughts but hopefully they help you feather and keep your jeans tight and lofty
PORTLAND LOVES BERT AND TOM
28:59 The look on Tom's face when Burnt takes out Whoop
Bert said the name "Michael Collins" 8 times in a span of 22 seconds. 9:53 - 10:15
@mftoeless1687
2 жыл бұрын
This is the funniest comment on the two bears podcast super underrated
@NoseToes
Жыл бұрын
Not sure who this "Bert" guy is, but can confirm Brent does this
Not trying to overreach here but I feel that the YMH community is owed a brief explanation/reason for Nadav’s departure. He meant a good amount too all of us 👖’s and we are with Tom and christina till we die regardless of the reasoning.
@steveirwin_8276
3 жыл бұрын
he will be in texas getting shit ready for the move
@JoeDunnit
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, he's definitely part of the Jeans family.
It only took 65 episodes for Bruce to finally realize he's screaming in our ears during the podcast.
I love when Tom looks into my soul after Bert says his Instagram is just Puerto Rican haircuts LMAO
Can’t wait till that “and kill the Jews” clip gets cut up
@Tacit_Tern
3 жыл бұрын
50:54
@questioneverything7582
3 жыл бұрын
The Germ Theory was never actually proven to be 100% accurate, yet the trillion dollar medical industry is entirely based on that theory. What's the CAUSE of death in people with this "virus"? Does their brain explode? Does their heart stop beating? The CAUSE of death is still pneumonia. Pneumonia is not something you can "catch". You DEVELOP it, just like you develop cancer. It's a biological result of being "scared to death" of something. Think of it like an internal wound that you can't see, but when it starts to heal (when the traumatic event dissipates), the healing of the wounds in the lungs will cause pain, mucus, blood, fever, headaches, coughing, etc. The cause of death from Small Pox wasn't acne-like cysts. That's not enough to kill anyone. The cause of death was PNEUMONIA. A specific death fright soldiers and Indians felt due to them attacking each other during this traumatic period in time. These were the only people who had Small Pox. A vaccine only stopped the acne cysts from forming, which is basically a histamine response. Pneumonia still develops and cannot be stopped or vaccinated against. It's like trying to vaccinate your body to prevent it from healing a bruise or a cut. You don't show the symptoms of "disease" until you stop being panicked and afraid. These symptoms usually show up 1-2 weeks after you've relaxed and resolved the upsetting event. Governments around the world are CAUSING fear frights, thus CAUSING all the illnesses, aka Boogey Virus, in everyone based on an unproven THEORY by one man, Louis Pastaur, who redacted his claim of the germ theory on his death bed, yet no one listened. The US is following an outdated theory that's 100 years old and has not questioned or retested that "science" since then. They believed In witches and curses back then!! Could it be because a Ca-Zillion dollar medical industry profits on following an outdated "science" model?! They've been using the same cancer "treatment" for 80 YEARS. They can't think of something besides POISON in all this time?!?! So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the "scary virus" that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and believe they then have the "scary virus", and more panic will ensue as well as martial law. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it.
@Hickey563
3 жыл бұрын
@@questioneverything7582 sir this is a Wendy's.
@Music61479
3 жыл бұрын
@@questioneverything7582 no this is Patrick
Brent: “Big secret time” *As Half a million people are watching this*
Who TF still calls it “partying” when you’re chilling and drinking by YOURSELF or Whomever happens to be on the bus at the moment
@cabin_fever
3 жыл бұрын
an alcoholic
@MNewsTime
3 жыл бұрын
@@cabin_fever but bert just said he’s not the a word
@HIGHTS
3 жыл бұрын
Seriously. Bert been stuck in that college frat boy lifestyle
@billiammontgomery720
3 жыл бұрын
I mean I drink by myself almost every night but I don’t pretend it’s a party. It’s a sad descent mixed with other problems(just like Bruce with his Xanax) I don’t pretend it’s OK or that I don’t have a problem with the other drugs. 100% I’m just jealous that he has a successful career while having similar addiction issues, I still think someone should check him though.
@billiammontgomery720
3 жыл бұрын
And don’t let Bert convince Tom to start with Kratom. As a degenerate I can barely feel that stuff, but if you’ve barely ever done opiates, I bet it’s a decent introduction. That many crushed leaves in your stomach CANT be good for you, and IMO there’s no high, and only barely kills withdrawal symptoms/pain
Love seeing Bert come to some hard realizations about himself, he’s legit growing in front of us
Bert: after finishing a tour with a bus full of people Tom: I’m thinking about taking some people on tour with me. Bert: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Hunting and fishing is pretty much all there is to do in Minnesota, Bret.
@BirdOfHermes83
3 жыл бұрын
Brent
Damn, the second half touching on trauma was really unexpectedly wholesome... I found a lot of relief sitting through these dudes talking about difficult experiences and the resulting psychological wounds, I could relate so much.
Comedy is the process of transforming trauma into laughter. Thank you for doing what you're doing, Ted and Bryce.
Bernt: Woop, stop lying to me about my sleep quality...42% last night? I slept great! Bernt earlier: I had trouble waking up this morning...
Bruce buys a new house and all his friends move to Texas.
@idab6864
3 жыл бұрын
To be fair he bought that house like a year ago and it's taken him forever to finish it and move in to it so it seems like he's just got the home because he hasn't even moved yet
@electriceyeswatching4415
3 жыл бұрын
And they're taking all their idiotic politics with them so they can vote Texas into California.
@TheNinjaBees
3 жыл бұрын
@@electriceyeswatching4415 that do be how the country works
@martins458
3 жыл бұрын
@@electriceyeswatching4415 you can't fight progress, the best you can do is ignore it until it finally takes your livelihood and self respect away
@VIi726
3 жыл бұрын
@@electriceyeswatching4415 fine with me. I welcome them to Montana so all the trash here has less of a voice.
Bert: "dOnT cAlL mE aN AlCoHOlIc" 😭😭😭 Me (an intellectual): Then stop being one....
I just want to say that although its not your intention to offer comedy advice to people interested in getting into the industry, hearing you 2 talk about HOW you write jokes, and how you put a set together is actually a huge help.
Bert has literally said in this episode how much he hates being called an alcoholic and then immediately goes into a segment with Tom about how often he thinks about drinking.... The Bert therapy hour continues.
@glenncunningham6397
3 жыл бұрын
...and its funny how he lies to his therapist because he's worried someone will hijack his phone.
Bart "I'm gonna make school shootings funny" Kreisler
@timkicior
3 жыл бұрын
A couple comedians have done it
@Smokeyxz
3 жыл бұрын
It’s funnier live. School shootings I mean...
@timkicior
3 жыл бұрын
@@Smokeyxz DAMN!!!! NOW SEE THATS FUCKIN HILLARIOUS!!!
@texanstry2027
3 жыл бұрын
@@Smokeyxz that's better than 90% of Bert's standup 😂
@tomo4579
3 жыл бұрын
@@Smokeyxz now that’s comedy
10 years from now Burt will be doing sets in AA rooms 😂
1:35:57 😆 Burt thinks Tom invents having an entourage
"Nadav is Googling, looking for jobs..."
@JoeDunnit
3 жыл бұрын
Funny
@texanstry2027
3 жыл бұрын
Nah he's toms guy he's set
@anthonyzullo
3 жыл бұрын
Nadav isnt gone for good lol, hes probably on vacation before the next live show and because he also had to fill in for iny for 2 whole weeks. Probably a well deserved break. Unless nadav is dead, Tom wouldnt ever fire him.
@nunpho
3 жыл бұрын
@@anthonyzullo they were just quoting the song. That song cracks me up
@stein.family.11
3 жыл бұрын
Dude when tom said nadav is no longer with us I legit thought he died because of how he said it.
Burt: all I have is Puerto Rican’s getting their hair cut Tom: WHUT!? Lol
Lol where's Burts gallon of kool-aid 😆🤣
In my opinion, best episode yet.
i never believe Bert when he starts giving a story of not drinking.
@deepthought1987
3 жыл бұрын
Especially because we LIVED it with him. The 60 days weren't even in order, it was more like 60 sober of 70 days if I recall correctly
@fuckwhysoserious
3 жыл бұрын
Neither does Tom...the look of disbelief...haha
Watching bert tiptoe around his alcoholism is the best comedy I've seen these past couple years😂🤟
Tom looks like a Ukrainian Mob Boss lol
"History is a set of truths that definitely happened everybody agreed its a fact you can't deny it" -Bruce Kersher
Rip to Mr. SakaSouffle
Nadav's last words: I'M HAVING CHEST PAINS!!
@victoriaarmstong322
3 жыл бұрын
Am I the only one desperate to know what happens to Nadav?
@terrymay3620
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah where is nadav
@trinitymiller1606
3 жыл бұрын
@@victoriaarmstong322 I want to know too. What happend
@JoeDunnit
3 жыл бұрын
This is funny, but I'm legitimately worried.
@trinitymiller1606
3 жыл бұрын
I checked his Instagram he posted 4 days okay and seemed okay so I think were good