Yo brent kerscher still out here dressing like a Pokémon trainer and Tom looking dapper as fuck

@andrestein6022

2 жыл бұрын

He's trying to catch all the liver cancer

@MrSpeedyAce

2 жыл бұрын

@@andrestein6022 😂😂😂

@rayparibello

2 жыл бұрын

When I was 23 years old, I got involved with Team Rocket. Here's how it happened.

@oBuLLzEyEo1013

2 жыл бұрын

@@rayparibello WHAT'S THAT? SLOWPOKE TAIL? *FIENDISH*! I WON'T EAT IT...!

@The_Wendigo

2 жыл бұрын

Ash Drankem

Every Ellis story is incredible. I could listen to Tom tell stories about him all day.

@KalispellBarbell

2 жыл бұрын

The voice gets me

@millardfilmore1403

2 жыл бұрын

If he isn’t making them up then holy fuck Ellis is gonna suck when he gets older lol

@drewbigelow1052

2 жыл бұрын

@@millardfilmore1403 or he’ll be one of the next great stand ups of his generation

@FrostyJokerr

2 жыл бұрын

You’ll love his new special he is working on then. It’s sooo fucking funny!

@ajbarrett8169

2 жыл бұрын

@@FrostyJokerr exactly. His closer about ellis inthe shower is perfect 🤣

That ASMR JOI segment was the longest Barts kept quiet in the history of Bears podcast.. 10 seconds!!

"Are you walking me into a battle that you're going to watch me lose?" We just witnessed the moment Bart has become sentient, ladies and gentlemen.

You know what would go with Tom's jacket???... THE GLOVE!

@alexgreen98

2 жыл бұрын

Ouuu Saucy Tommy buns 🤔👀 that’s smoove as fvck

@danielduarte4425

2 жыл бұрын

U talking about oj's? Lmao

@thoz1guyz

2 жыл бұрын

NES Powerglove?

@theironemald8779

2 жыл бұрын

It didn’t fit come on now

@cowperm

2 жыл бұрын

Mike Jackson's sequins glove glove.

Fat sticks has to be Bart’s next special

@brittanypetersen1966

2 жыл бұрын

Fore shure

@tyler7992

Жыл бұрын

A hunndreedd percent

I love how wholesome Brent and the kids interactions are. Fat sticks just hits different from kids.

54:30 Bert not realizing his daughter has the Mickey Mantle gene😂

Listening to Tom talk about his kids is always hilarious. There's always SOMETHIN goin on with those dudes

@impossiblegems

2 жыл бұрын

That is always how it is when you have 2 kids

@kristiskinner8542

2 жыл бұрын

Think Tom is losing his BF to Ellis lol

@mc08808

2 жыл бұрын

Luilull love l

@jf-sp1dk

2 жыл бұрын

@@impossiblegems 1000% my 5 and 2 year old are hilarious

@stephengrigg5988

Жыл бұрын

"Teacher said there's no school today" "What? Should I call her?" "Don't do that"

“It’s so easy to play with kids that aren’t yours.” - Brent

@Mannydamon

2 жыл бұрын

Jared Fogel from Subway

@kurt9364

2 жыл бұрын

@Manny don't even get me started on that numbskull

@imjustapancake3188

2 жыл бұрын

Transkodak? Idk why but that made me laugh more than it should’ve

@PrincessCasserole

2 жыл бұрын

Lol it’s very true

@alecm_9459

2 жыл бұрын

Better come correct if you gunna step to Jared bro, he'll fuck u up no 🧢

Tom: “Would you do a gold chain on your shirtless body?” Bert: “I have a gold chain” Tom: “I know. I’m saying like a..” Bert: “Like a golder chain?”

@66Sixxy

2 жыл бұрын

Imagine Bert talking about the machine story with a gigantic Russian mob type gold chain on in bedazzled leather hot pants & pointy toe snake skin cowboy boots with silver tips & spurs. 🤣

@soiboisteve515

2 жыл бұрын

@@66Sixxy imagine laughing at the machine in 2022

@ryanoneal1567

Жыл бұрын

@@66Sixxy I imagined the leather pants shirtless chain and shoeless with a bottle of vodka next to him 😂

Fifteen minutes into this episode. My Wife: Was Leanne a teacher? Me: I think she manages Bert's schedule but used to manage apartment complexes. My Wife: She should run a Special Ed school. She'd be really good at it.

@LGG393

2 жыл бұрын

Hahahahaha! 💀☠💀

@skeptical4446

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

Bert goes from “oh he’s looking better” to “Jesus this dude is gonna die soon” on a week to week basis

@megyskermike

2 жыл бұрын

Nah, it's pre-recorded..the past 3 months he's looked like the paragon of alcoholism.

@lazarus8447

2 жыл бұрын

@@megyskermike Dionysus the greek god of wine would say "Dude, slow the fuck down"

@sasogorelick

2 жыл бұрын

Bacchus Chrysler

@bdrussel1

2 жыл бұрын

He said he had a churchill day the day before this was shot the fact he is even there is amazing

@neuvisean1739

2 жыл бұрын

He's really turning into the fake Bert from Tom's dancing video.

i love tom’s 5 year old kid with a 45 year old man’s voice

@dibanez_1350

2 жыл бұрын

Literally the funniest thing on the face of the earth

@imjustapancake3188

2 жыл бұрын

And the dead expression every time

@mandihollingsworth182

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@PettyKreuger

Жыл бұрын

That’s his impression of Bert. His child is bert

@Masked_Official

Жыл бұрын

Haha I love it when he does the impersonations of his son. So deadpan, funny as. "Uh okay".

Bert has been doing really well with his drinking. He drank all day yesterday, is drinking now and will drink tomorrow but he turned down 1 drink. 🤣🤣

14 minutes in and my 5 year old wakes up to Bert talking like " Why is that man all red?" lol

@kristiskinner8542

2 жыл бұрын

Snowboarding

I would love to hear his son talk bc the voice Tom does is hilarious

The segura household has got to be hilarious. You need a reality show. Fat sticks is too funny

@noneyabidniss4763

2 жыл бұрын

Don't fix it if it ain't broke.

@Henofmayhem

2 жыл бұрын

@@noneyabidniss4763 I like that!

@gbus5575

2 жыл бұрын

Don’t ruin toms family with reality tv lol

@pacman7687

2 жыл бұрын

@@noneyabidniss4763 definitely not the right saying looool

@kiiiizy

Жыл бұрын

@@Henofmayhem it's if it ain't broke don't fix it😭😂

The best special I’ve seen lately is hands down Shane Gillis, non stop jokes I was dying the whole way through

@chrisbuehler6868

2 жыл бұрын

The young bull! Nobody can hang with the East coast stand-ups

@cdxx420able

2 жыл бұрын

Meh

@firstnamelastname180

2 жыл бұрын

Normand is fucking great too

I love how Tom only addresses the wild things Bert says with silly faces to the camera as he rambles on

I hope Burff heard Tom’s thoughts on “Margaritaville Lifestyle”

@mandihollingsworth182

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!! That ,Your Mom's House episode was fucking hilarious. Tom and Christina tore up the whole Margaritaville/Jimmy Buffett/Bert's drinking 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Good morning bear family!

The blue suit with those blue eyes and loud shoes- bam! Magic!

Talking to Bert is like having 16 conversations at the same time.

When bert says "lately" he means the past few hours.. 😅😅😅

In another universe Bert is the greatest middle school pe teacher that ever lived.

@impossiblegems

2 жыл бұрын

In 1980 when they didn’t have to actually do anything

@BadGoyz4Life

2 жыл бұрын

He'd be a legend because of the rumors that he's piss drunk by 5th period but nobody knows for sure

Even when it feels like my life is in the toilet, there's still something to look forward on Mondays. 👏🏿 Thanks guys.

@D-Fens_1632

2 жыл бұрын

I dunno if I'd bother getting out of bed on Mondays if Burr, Joey Diaz, and Two Bears didn't all drop on Mondays.

Every once in a while we get the Bart perv episode and Tim being on board is amazing ❤️

@ev3835

2 жыл бұрын

once in awhile? bert says pervy things every episode lol

“Fat sticks” from a child would be terrifying and funny as fuck at the same time omfg! I laughed so hard at that story

@cravensz

2 жыл бұрын

so fucking funny 🤣

@ext93

2 жыл бұрын

Last summer my cousin and her 2-3 yr old son and 5 yr old daughter from Houston came up to visit for a month. The boy had been speaking for a while, didnt know too many words yet, and constantly called me butthole. Then would laugh his ass off. I can't wait to hear what he says this coming summer when they visit. Also once I was swimming with the kids while my cousin and sister were shopping or something. Eventually the boy gets out of the pool onto the deck, dropped his trunks and started peeing in the pool like it was a giant toilet, laughing the whole time. He's a savage

@macyjohnson4505

2 жыл бұрын

@@ext93 ❤️😂

@kristiskinner8542

2 жыл бұрын

Terrifying?😒

@macyjohnson4505

2 жыл бұрын

@@kristiskinner8542 yeah do ya know what that means

Yes on the suit w tom’s eyes

Let's play a game, "swim with weights" 😂 what the f?! Is he preparing them to join the Navy Seals 😂😂😂 Bert is so funny, I love him

“Even trimmed hair pubic daily” Todd trying to keep a straight face reading that ad made me howl.

Bert drunk playing hide n seek with Toms boys I miss my drunk uncle Rest easy uncle Dan

I love how Tom just sits there and lets Bert talk incessantly for minutes on end

Bert: I've been good about my drinking lately Tom: You were probably 3 bottles of wine in

8:04 did Bert really just say “it’s so easy to play with kids that aren’t yours”?? 😂

@cdxx420able

2 жыл бұрын

I read your comment at 1:03:49 and wish I hadn’t

When I was 22 I got involved with the Russian invasion of Ukraine...

I do a 3-12 shift every Monday. And when I knock off I go home, smoke, snack and watch the new episode. It’s the perfect knock offs. I can just sit stoned and zone out with the boys. cheers and love from australia to you both and all the crew. appreciate everyone.✌🏼❤️

@adamblackwell8704

2 жыл бұрын

Just knockin off eh mate

@itsmegilbo

2 жыл бұрын

From Aus too, I get a 4pk of Turkey's and smash them with the boys. Nothing better

@Paul_DSZ

2 жыл бұрын

How much is weed there

@2pacfan56

2 жыл бұрын

I’m doing that same thing right now. But in the U.S

@jrvondoom

2 жыл бұрын

@@2pacfan56 hey bud. Have a good shift ✌🏼

37:44 Bernt being friends with Scott Stapp from Creed is the most florida thing ever

1:03 Bert sounds like Will Ferrell with brain damage after he broke out of the hospital in The Office

@soiboisteve515

2 жыл бұрын

Fantastic reference 😂

@joedirte8952

2 жыл бұрын

@@soiboisteve515 lmao thank you bro I’m glad you understood my reference

Lmao if you Google Bert Kreischer the first question people asked is "Is Bert Kreischer Chunk from the Goonies?"

@IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

2 жыл бұрын

Hahahahaha

@Greeezy

2 жыл бұрын

Wait. He isn't?!

@8teknik

2 жыл бұрын

No way. I laughed so freaking hard at this that it hurt.

@joncasity9343

2 жыл бұрын

Who thinks this. Goddamn this pool dumber than I thought

@skeptical4446

2 жыл бұрын

Chunk from the Goonies could act.

Love the shoutout to Gillis. Gotta get the big DAWG on the pod

@WKRP187

2 жыл бұрын

Turns out there's a pussy convention in town! Hopefully he won't miss any of that top shelf primo snatch

The voice Tom does for his kids is amazing. I die.

Toms voice for his boys is perfect as he will never have to change it

The funniest memory I have of my kid being scared, kid was standing on the bed watching tv. Just learned what zombies are. I walk in the room near the bed, as soon as I have eye contact I throw my leg under the bed like something grabbed me. The tremble that went up this kids body and the shriek that I heard, I laughed so hard that I was crying and my stomach muscles hurt. After that it was on. Everyday was a mission on how to scare me back. Funniest shit ever.

@josef2012

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds traumatizing 🤣

@usmc72409

2 жыл бұрын

@@josef2012 ya there was this show called face off. They used to take people and make them up into monsters. I had to use that to make sure I didn’t instill a fear. It’s been years now, kid is 16, and my kids movies of choice…. Horror movies.

@usmc72409

2 жыл бұрын

It was so freakin funny tho. I can still clearly picture the whole thing. The tremble from toes to head. Hilarious. I felt bad but it was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing. I didn’t ever do it again. Not that scary anyway. The things I wish I had recorded.

@carynmartin6053

2 жыл бұрын

@@usmc72409 my ex husband used to love scaring me and our kids for fun, but he was an abused child himself so he was probably working stuff out subconsciously

@BobSmith-lu5ug

2 жыл бұрын

You are a terrible person.. and that's hilarious keep up the good work lol

HOLY FUCK the look of panic on Bert's face when he mistakenly thought PornHub released everyone's individual searches each year 😆😆😆🤣🤣

@Phil.Anthropy

2 жыл бұрын

Like when Chris found out you can save Snapchat

@wilder2979

2 жыл бұрын

@@Phil.Anthropy uh hundred percent

@skeptical4446

2 жыл бұрын

@@Phil.Anthropy imagine if snap chat released everyone's history to the public. Chris would be in Jail and Bert would be forced to come out as bisexual

Jesters were probably the original stand ups I’d say

Shane Gillis live in Austin is such a good special I have watched it a dozen times now

Anyone else super into Tom’s kid’s stories. Already a fan.

@jeremydelaney1112

2 жыл бұрын

You will love his next special then. Unless you have already seen his "I'm coming everywhere" set you know what I'm talking about. So funny.

@soiboisteve515

2 жыл бұрын

@@jeremydelaney1112 nice plug, Jeremy 👍 I'll give it a watch

So 6 places for snapbacks and Brut placed the USSR one right up in there 😂.

@ryant390

2 жыл бұрын

To be fair, they recorded this awhile ago.

@flyerCG

2 жыл бұрын

@@ryant390 stop being fair against Burt bro 🤭😂

Tom’s been lookin like he either hasn’t been sleeping or decided to straight evolve into 50 mili tommy.

Tim watching Brett get all silent and bricked up to a JOI vid made me laugh harder than it should. He was stunned.

Bert DOES sleep with things in his mouth. He already admitted that he slept with chunks of onions in his mouth to fix his teeth. What a cool guy!

@imjustapancake3188

2 жыл бұрын

Oh my god that’s gross.. poor Leeanne

@Nanossteam

2 жыл бұрын

But he also wears duct tape in his mouth to be quiet 🤣🤣

@briansears5902

2 жыл бұрын

@Yaldabaoth as aaKSOIaa@@£

@kevinpoff45

2 жыл бұрын

@Yaldabaoth you made me laugh so hard brown came to town

@adamgalliano

2 жыл бұрын

Compulsive liar

That Hunter Thompson itinerary sounds like a great day!

Beautiful. I think this may be the most perfect podcast episode possible

Bert acting like women would be attracted to him as a instagram model 😂😂

Having friends who have kids to play with must be great. Hell to having my own, thats a daily torture

Tom owes charo 500 dollars!!

If this pod was a football game, Bert would absolutely dominate time of possession.

Man Bert's getting close to crossing the Steve Segal jet black beard. Please don't let Bert go down that path.

saw tom in DC last night… his new hour was incredible. He absolutely killed it, if you have an opportunity to see him live for his current tour do yourself a favor and go. my favorite live comedy show i’ve ever been to.

@motaki79

2 жыл бұрын

He’s in DC??! I missed it 😢😩

@darrinharr6061

2 жыл бұрын

I saw him in Albany and he fucking killed it.

How long till Bart takes down the USSR machine hat?

Really enjoyed watching Tom struggle his way through a map of the US

Brent Chrysler can't be too happy about his timing on doing a movie that takes place in Russia.

@supafun33

2 жыл бұрын

Technically it's Serbia and I think Russians are the bad guys?

@soiboisteve515

2 жыл бұрын

@@supafun33 Yes to the Serbia, and the US already bombed them, but Americans won't know the difference.

@Jays1fan1

2 жыл бұрын

@@supafun33 I believe Serbia is where it is filmed, not where it is supposed to take place in the movie.

Yay its "Tom and the Tard"

Gonna need that FatSticks merch drop asap

That British comedian talking about his dad is 1000% Jack Whitehall

I love it when they show Tom watching Bert for his reaction 🤣🤣🤣

Toms special should be called “hot sauce is the best” or “hey, Tom” cuz Ellis calls him Tom.

@aaronkristofer18

2 жыл бұрын

upvote on "Hey Tom"

At 1 hour and 8 minutes Bret Krystals reveals how he will "accidentally" depart this plain.

"Gucci are you watching" - Almost covered my laptop with coffee 🤣

Barts film about him and Russia is really going to do well now , hahahaha

No better way to start a week than listening to the ramblings of a career alcoholic who refuses to admit he has a problem! Please never change Brent!

@caleblee9119

2 жыл бұрын

Who tf is brent

@ariehill5631

2 жыл бұрын

@@caleblee9119 ??? Literally one of the hosts. Tom Segura and Brock Chrismus

This podcast has taught me the difference between Tom thinking Brent has a genuinely good idea and when Tom just wants to enable him LOL

@brooklynkast684

Жыл бұрын

Brent?

I love that Tom encourages Bert to go outside his comfort zone and make decisions that others might consider “insane” or recklessly impulsive. That is true friendship!

Bart just said "I Googled it on Porn Hub" LMAO 😹😹

That Russian Navy 'Machine' hat behind Burnt is going to age like milk, methinks...

@8thlvlMage

2 жыл бұрын

The Russian government is awful. Don't blame the citizens. There are many Russians deserting the military and civilian protests.

Tom needs to do a Tuxedo for the next special. "Tuxedo Tom" needs to happen.

tom's reactions to almost everything Bert says mean the word to me

that look in Brands eyes when he said "I love wine" you could realy feel and see the love.

Tom and bert together are phenomenal untouchable love theo love Joey love Chris love all you guys, hats off to Joe and Bill, but 2 bears is king of kings for me

Looks like we won’t get to see Bert’s movie for a while 😂 Talk about bad timing..

@giantturd5157

2 жыл бұрын

What?

@chadchadchadchadchad

2 жыл бұрын

@@giantturd5157 Bart has a story about a piece of machinery that he saw in Russia. His movie is about the machine. Russia has attacked Ukraine using similar machines, so it probably won't get released because it could implicate Bart in the invasion.

@StoicDivinity

2 жыл бұрын

@@chadchadchadchadchad it ain't that deep

@giantturd5157

2 жыл бұрын

@@StoicDivinity I'm pretty sure he's joking lol

@efowler713

2 жыл бұрын

@@chadchadchadchadchad 😂😂😂

watching Bert discover JOI was both hilarious and traumatic, i could see into his soul

Never thought I'd have a half chub watching 2 bears one cave 😧

Why am I picturing Jack Torrence going through the Overlook maze yelling “FATSTICKS!!!!!”

Tommy is dressed exceptionally well this episode, Bret still looks like a homeless person that won the lottery.

Bert dresses like a San Francisco Tech Startup CEO

“Okay. Love you” “Love you too. Bye”

i'll literally kill myself if i have to hear bert dissect how stand up comedy works again

@soiboisteve515

2 жыл бұрын

But it's an art bro. Modern day Socrateez and stuff

its funny seeing Bert say he prefers specials that dont have anything else extra besides jokes, after just having Esther on his Podcast saying she has a lot of her family in hers

It all started with a story about Bert daughter golfing 🤣😭🤣😭 what the actual fu** 🤣🤣🤣

I couldn’t imagine being Bert’s daughter listening to this😂

Are we gonna address the fact that Tom is dressed like Dr Evil today?

On today’s episode of Bert talks, Tom listens…

All y'all's podcasts are already quieter than any other I listen to so my favorite part of these is definitely when Bruce pulls away from the mic to start whispering

You guys gotta turn up the laughter in the booth some to be like the original studio. Native's laugh makes the show

You guys came so close to a runtime of 1:23:45

id say the first stand up comedian was a jester or something or the sort they used to entertain the king/leader of said country

The Ellis voice is everything

"Hey Tom". I have to hear ellis's voice 🤣🤣🤣