Enneagram Type 4 & 8 | Comparisons & Connections

4’s & 8’s | comparisons and connections
0:00 - Intro
7:52 - Seduction
24:31 - Emotion
43:08 - Hugeness
1:01:12 - Virtue
Just trying to help you get a good look at how the enneagram 4’s and 8’s can look a bit like each other. I’ve worked with the Enneagram for years with my clients. I am an enneagram 4 and love helping folks walk through this life with more confidence, exploration, and fun taking themselves seriously as a heart attach and not taking themselves too seriously. Feel free to reach out for individual work at these contact points.
DrewNewkirk.com
Drew@DrewNewkirk.com
Instagram - @thedrewdawg @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy
/ thedrewdawg
/ drewnewkirkpsychotherapy
/ drew-newkirk-b15b0554

Пікірлер: 125

  • @jumokeogunsola9549
    @jumokeogunsola9549 Жыл бұрын

    i LOVE 4-8 dynamics. this is an incredible video

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    Thanks a ton! It was a total joy to do and glad you appreciated it Drew

  • @justinsilvis6276

    @justinsilvis6276

    Жыл бұрын

    I just got on the enneagram and where I'm a 4w5 your stuff ignites personal growth like a wildfire. My best friend is an eight. We both were the metal goth stoner kids in middle and highschool. I played guitar, he played radio. I am curious tho, finding out I was an infp led me here. Are you an INFP 4w5 sx also? Every thing you've said in all your videos has helped me on a moral/value level in my heart, knowing I might not be totally alone. So thank you. I'm learning alot

  • @shavonhampton3535
    @shavonhampton35352 жыл бұрын

    OMG!! I’m a sexual type 4! I knew I was a 4 but I resonated soo much with 8’s. I actually date an 8 & our desires are similar but we express them differently. I can relate with your explanation of 4’s & 8’s. Great video!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Glad I could help Shavon! Keep digging deep. Watch the 4 overview I did if you can, should also help

  • @alexkenchel
    @alexkenchel2 жыл бұрын

    I’m a 4 and my father in law is an 8. I have so much respect and admiration for him and he’s totally adopted me. This video is fascinating hearing our dynamics spelled out so well. I really related to the part where you said 4s can learn a lot from watching how 8’s confront people (I can’t remember exactly how you worded it). That’s precisely what I’ve been doing with him and it has been helping immensely and completely shaping how I interact with other people. I’ve been less self conscious and afraid of what people think of me. It’s made me much more assertive.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Dude, I relate. My 8 friends have allowed me to release some guilt and shame around confrontation. Although I’m no f…ing stranger to confrontation 😂 I wonder, will you share this with him? That’d be cool if he was open to it Drew

  • @alexkenchel

    @alexkenchel

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk I have a 9 overlay from my unhealthy 9 dad, so I’ve been pretty stunted when I comes to conflict, and I believe I’m a Social 4. So I’m eternally grateful for the influence and guidance. Anytime I have a difficult conflict at work, I always ask my f-in-law for advice and he absolutely welcomes being of service. Thank God for 8s. I’ll absolutely share this with him! I’ve already shared it with my wife. You are very calming and easy to listen to. I’m loving your channel.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@alexkenchel thanks Alex. I hope my voice is some parts sexy, calming, inspiring, smooth and commanding. This is my self-involved goals 😂

  • @alexkenchel

    @alexkenchel

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk 😂 I feel you on that. You’re right on track mate

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@alexkenchel a Brit? Where you from?

  • @erickenneycreative
    @erickenneycreative2 ай бұрын

    The lives and relationship of John Locke vs Jack Shepherd from Lost. My favorite piece of fiction on the planet. Changed my life.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 ай бұрын

    Love it! Especially when the enneagram provokes our connection to art Drew If you’re interested in being on my mailing list drop me your email on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR AT drew@drewnewkirk.com - hopefully I’ll continue to create some cool stuff to share

  • @Leilani_2024
    @Leilani_20242 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for making this video. I'm an sx4 married to an 8 for the past 17 yrs. Everything you said is so spot on.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Welp, as a SX4 myself I’m glad I could offer you just one more tool for your marriage. Thanks for watching Drew

  • @peachesandpoets

    @peachesandpoets

    Жыл бұрын

    Omg as a sx 4 this gives me hope bc when we drive each other crazy I worry. (always just something easily solved with communication)

  • @carla-creative
    @carla-creative3 ай бұрын

    Hi Drew, Thank you so much for making this video. I'm a 4w5 INFP (sp/sx) and married to a 8w7 ISTP. It's a very interesting relationship to me , but also very dynamic and when we're stressed it can be extra stressful. We do have a lot in common and are basically best buddies. But it can also be the exact opposite. And we work together, so yeah that's intense.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 ай бұрын

    So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching and hope you 2 continue to grow together! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

  • @desidezmusic9239
    @desidezmusic92392 жыл бұрын

    Drew, I like the intentionality of your videos, from your intro to the room you present in, and the very detailed and informative information. 😉 Lead the way, it's appreciated ❤️.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Your words are always motivating and not waisted. Thanks for understanding the layers I’m going for from presentation to actually words. I feel seen Drew

  • @BB-gv7qq
    @BB-gv7qq2 жыл бұрын

    Always appreciate your thoroughness. So much info to soak in. Love it! I didn't realize how much I actually live out the sx sub as a 4 until this comparison vid. Eye opening. Will definitely be revisiting this vid as I do your others

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks BB, I think this video is a good help for us SX types to sharpen our awareness. Love that you got that. Thanks for watching and supporting the time and effort 🙌🏼 Drew

  • @m.s9146
    @m.s914611 ай бұрын

    This is excellent. I’m a sexual 4 in a long term relationship/marriage with a sexual 8. You are correct, it’s a powerful combination, we are doing our best to change the world. Bringing our truth to the world to solve inequities between countries and create equal footing in world markets.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    11 ай бұрын

    I love that you are making it work. It’s not easy to make any relationship work, and that combo can be fire, in a good way in a bad way. Keep changing the world, my friends.

  • @Nerdy-By-Nature
    @Nerdy-By-Nature2 жыл бұрын

    Thoroughly enjoyed this, well done! I respect how much heart, gut, and head energy went into the video. I was thinking, on the topic of going after/moving toward our passion ... I feel like this is part of why so many people self-sabotage. You start moving toward the thing you *think* you need or want and then you get a few steps away and there's a painful gut hit that actually, no, this isn't going to give me what I really need. Better burn it to the ground then before I realize that on a conscious level and make some truly meaningful progress! Or hopefully, one is more healed, and they do realize that on a conscious level and just move forward with awareness. That's a fun thing for my mind to chew on.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Keep chewing! I’ll keep gutting, hearting and heading 😉 Drew

  • @elizabethhenderson5110
    @elizabethhenderson51102 жыл бұрын

    “Weren’t heard or seen enough “now we had to become big & strong indifferent , intimidating maybe to keep people at arms length

  • @angelalang3750
    @angelalang3750 Жыл бұрын

    I am an 8 and my 16 year old daughter is a 4. We see the world so differently and handle life differently. This is quite refreshing to see that we kind of operate in the same realm on some of things. I cringe when she tells me stories that can be resolved with a logical answer and she takes me to storytime 🤣. And I'm sure she cringes when I give her my response that is direct and in her eyes insensitive.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    Ha! Totally. I relate as a 4 Love that you’re looking for the answers to bridge the gap Good on you 👊🏼 Drew

  • @neskebeks
    @neskebeks2 ай бұрын

    Thanks Drew! For 4 years I was so convinced I was a social 8 … 🤦🏾‍♀️😅🤣 stressed up moving upwards 5. Now I recently realised I am a sexual 4 wing 5🤷🏾‍♀️ Your video explained the difference in detail. ✨🙏🏾✨ Thank you much. Allthough I still love the instant direct ways of the 8, I slowly start to see and accept that I really am a 4…

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 ай бұрын

    Thanks for watching and for the affirmation! If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Either way, I appreciate you Drew

  • @ZhiyingHarp
    @ZhiyingHarp2 жыл бұрын

    i'm 4w5, tritype 459 and i'm nothing like the sexual 4 spoken about in this video. i'm told that i'm "zen" and "fairylike".

  • @themisfit9465
    @themisfit94652 жыл бұрын

    Great video - thoroughly enjoyed it!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    This one slipped by me, but thank you for letting me know. Totally appreciate that. Drew

  • @WalkingScriptureWithShanna
    @WalkingScriptureWithShanna Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so so much for finally straightening out why I always test out the way I do

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    No problem. Glad it helped

  • @jasmin1773
    @jasmin17732 жыл бұрын

    Enneagram just became a hobby of mine, understanding is fun😅😊

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    You know, I just had this conversation with a client who was trying to find some hobbies and when we looked at her life she already had many but didn’t consider them hobbies. We decided the enneagram is definitely a hobby, and a damn good one. Drew

  • @blanchemackinder4764
    @blanchemackinder47642 жыл бұрын

    great work Drew x

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Love hearing from you Blanche! Hope you are well in NZ! Keep up the good work Drew

  • @larrycheek3588
    @larrycheek3588 Жыл бұрын

    Thanks again Drew. Was able to share this with a 4 to help innerstan' 8!!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    Love it Larry! Thanks for sharing it around

  • @elizabethhenderson5110
    @elizabethhenderson51102 жыл бұрын

    Having truthful sometimes intense confrontations , clearing the cobwebby( I know not a word) and get that out and Done with as you stated is realness, no BS I think would be sexy & hope filled relationships

  • @chriscornett8451
    @chriscornett84512 жыл бұрын

    Hey Drew! I'm a 4 and also an INFP. I struggle a lot with anxiety and overthinking. Trying to change certain things in my life, was hoping you could do a video about 4s and "Manifesting" sometime soon! Thanks!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hey Chris, I love the honesty. Have you watched my series on 4’s and work? I think while I don’t directly say “manifesting” there are some ways I address our issues with anxiety and work. But this is going on my list of things to address down the road. Love that you’re challenging me with new topics. Be patient with me 😉 Thanks for being on board, Drew

  • @Ashlieimaginepeace

    @Ashlieimaginepeace

    2 жыл бұрын

    Me too!! I have been wondering how many 4's are also INFP'S (im a 4 se and an infp-t. The other two i got on the entiagram were 7, and 8 so idk about my wing yet just now diving in.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@Ashlieimaginepeace look in to tritypes. I’m a 478 - it’s an enneagram number in each intelligence center = heart (4), head (5,6 or7) and gut (8, 9, 1) - there’s some KZread stuff on it. It’s a bit in the weeds but can help. You’re likely a 3 wing if 7 and 8 are prominent. 3, 7 and 8 are all in the assertive type triad

  • @detoxARNP
    @detoxARNP2 жыл бұрын

    Such a good video! I keep being surrounded by 8s and very very triggered by them, wondering why this is. I’m assuming it’s because I need to learn how to stand up to them but my current mode of op is to get to offended by them sucking all the energy out of the room and talking over me. Love Steinbeck.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    They require some grit and gruff to stand up to sometimes for sure Nicole. Hang in there, practice being in their presence when you have the resources. But, also, the healthier the 8 the easier to be in their presence. Try to gauge how healthy they are as objectively as you can. It’s hard not to let our shit get in the way. Appreciate you watching and really engaging the content, you’re already on your way towards more resilience 🙌🏼 Drew

  • @Ashlieimaginepeace
    @Ashlieimaginepeace2 жыл бұрын

    Just found your channel, im a 4 SE too and i LOVE your decor in this room. I also have a ocean painting in my living room. And your tattoo's!

  • @Ashlieimaginepeace

    @Ashlieimaginepeace

    2 жыл бұрын

    Oh its sx, im still learning. Oops

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@Ashlieimaginepeace well, you have damn good taste my friend. In tattoos and decor and paintings. That’s what us SE-X types got going, we often know what we want even if we have doubts it’s right to want them. Welp, I just started a month long sabbatical in the Swiss alps to come up with more content (especially for us 4’s 😉). Follow along on instagram if you fancy too @thedrewdawg & @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy - I’m also getting 4 more tattoos in Milan on this trip. Stay tuned Thanks for watching by the way! Drew

  • @Ashlieimaginepeace

    @Ashlieimaginepeace

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk wow, than sounds amazing! Your truly living your best life! Hace a great time! I will add you on the gram.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@Ashlieimaginepeace I’m trying! At least living in my zone of purpose 🙌🏼

  • @elizabethhenderson5110
    @elizabethhenderson51102 жыл бұрын

    😂😂😂😂 spot on. Your facial expression giveaways.

  • @JerrTheHooman
    @JerrTheHooman6 ай бұрын

    I've learned so much watching you. Before I knew anything about instinctual variants, I used to say things like, "anger is my least expressed emotion, I don't like anger, i don't like who it makes me become. I don't relate to the whiny 4 trope. I'm melancholic, yes but not like that". I'm also madly in love with/married to a sx8. Now at the age of 26, I'm like wow, makes sense. I'm a sx4 😂😂😂 I'm the angry 4. I don't express it aloud but inside I'm all, "I'm better than this, I'm better than you. You people disgust me. I'm not like you." I'm a freaking snob!!!! 😂 I feel sooooo bad about it. I don't mean it that way either. The alternative is, either I feel like scum or I feel like the best person on the planet. I don't have a middle, only extremes 😂. My version of self esteem is an inflated ego or none at all. That's why I love my 8. I admire that he naturally exudes the confidence, Assertiveness and power than I desire for myself. I can only "perform" it. And likewise, he's drawn to my apparent "fire" Even if it's only for show ❤

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 ай бұрын

    Humbled Jerr and keep digging into it. So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

  • @Sarah-gz1uj
    @Sarah-gz1uj2 жыл бұрын

    I find your videos so helpful Drew, and return to them often. Thank you!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Sarah 🙏🏼 It’s been a great way for me to connect to more people like you and share this language of the heart. Thanks for coming on the journey Drew

  • @christinadonnelly781
    @christinadonnelly7816 ай бұрын

    I am a 4 and an INFJ my partner is an 8 and an INFP. Its sometimes crazy energy and always very deep connection and so compatible but when he is stressed not so much😂 because I dont like that kind of fire! I am a SP sx 4 so thats helpful otherwise there would be too much drama. Your description of the 4 being coy and enticing and the 8 just showing up like they have been there before was an apt description of our first dating. He was like "ok yeah, its cool if you are not interested right away" while knowing that i was. He had no doubts and even though he saw through my act he didn't feel the need to call me out. He just knew. It was and is the most cool thing about him. He never feels the need to outshine me and it doesn't make me feel like i need to push down his energy. We have been rock solid for 3 years now.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 ай бұрын

    Love to hear that. Keep being a good example together 🙌🏼 So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

  • @nisreen
    @nisreen2 жыл бұрын

    Just amazing! On the other hand would you please give us a sneak peak on your gorgeous living room 😅

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Ha! I’m not sure how to share the apartment but maybe someday on my instagram I’ll reveal the background a bit. Hit me up there and keep me committed to it. Drew

  • @elizabethhenderson5110
    @elizabethhenderson51102 жыл бұрын

    I’m hoping for a head connection,-attraction & chemistry, yes a best friend, similar likes. I’m seeking a companion, friend to give space & independence. Always felt having two living spaces separate home to maintain a degree of privacy & separateness. Then come together for intimate conversations sharing the things that brings deeper connection

  • @larrycheek3588
    @larrycheek35882 жыл бұрын

    8 meets 4: goes nowhere or somewhere: fast. Joke.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    I like it!

  • @Fatima-ik5xj

    @Fatima-ik5xj

    2 ай бұрын

    Yeah? You need to hear from my jerk 4 you will be quite surprised on how much he can give you proof that relationship between 8 and 4 doesn’t work!! Haha

  • @TiaraMenjivar
    @TiaraMenjivar2 жыл бұрын

    Hi Drew, I just found your channel and it's amazing. I've been reading and familiarizing myself with the Enneagram for a few years now, and I find that the identities I feel internally are very different from what people perceive from me. Like, I have felt invisible all my life, but people perceive me to be confident. So many people have agreed that I must be an 8 and yet, I've never felt this lack of self-doubt a lot of 8s seem to have. This video has me deeply resonating with the sx4 and now I'm questioning everything. (to be fair, I question everything all the time, low key have a least 2 existential crises a day lol) is it possible to have some sort of "personality dysmorphia" that leads to a mistype? I find there's always a dissonance in my internal state and the feedback echoed externally.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    I think the 8/4 conundrum is more common than we’d like to think. I have some clients struggling through it now and jump back and forth. Stay in the game, keep watching and digging. That’s part of the beauty. Maybe release yourself from needing to find out and just enjoy the learning. It’ll come and you’re way more complex than could be imagined so easy answers would be too easy. Settle in, ease up, receive and enjoy. But, regardless, I love this message! Drew

  • @shubikl9826
    @shubikl98262 жыл бұрын

    Very interesting. I’m a sx 4, who bumped head apparently with an 8. I ended up on your video as I still think of him but we kind of fell apart. It sort of reminded me our inability to communicate or maybe his overeagerness to control. Sad.........Very nice video and content!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    If an 8 is unhealthy and you bump heads with them prepare for some pain. Although, I think is 4’s can withdraw faster than they would in conflict. Either way, some of these relationships are salvageable and some aren’t worth it, as I know you know. Hope this helped you work through that loss. Thanks for watching Drew

  • @shubikl9826

    @shubikl9826

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk your video also help see my own dynamics from a fresh perspective. You are very true that when hurt 4s know their people so well that they can hit where it hurts. It stroke a cord, I’m definitely guilty of this. I’m looking forward to more content like this! 👍🏼✨

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@shubikl9826 every day I’m ruthless in my head about people. It’s a dark passenger. I’m just happy I know it’s routines and vulnerabilities. But it never goes away completely

  • @shubikl9826

    @shubikl9826

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk true thing 😣

  • @themisfit9465

    @themisfit9465

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yeah really depends on his health level but we 8’s definitely have issues when it comes to expressing our feelings 😂- it’s like a major handicap that I had to learn with my wife that’s a 4. A lot of arguing in the beginning but it’s now amazing. I always admire how 4’s can create amazing visions and have deep talks.

  • @VAIBHAVBHAVE04
    @VAIBHAVBHAVE0411 күн бұрын

    Indian prime minister modiji is 4 and Indian home minister Amit Shaha ji who is also election planner for modiji is 4. Both are together since their struggle days now both are at their pick together

  • @Dani-jo9yr
    @Dani-jo9yr Жыл бұрын

    Awesome 👏 Thank You! Now I am positive I am 8 ( still think social) and my bestie is 4 ! We are awesome together 🙏💪💕

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    Love this! Carry on with confidence and that possibility of healing power the enneagram gives

  • @annaanderson7919
    @annaanderson79197 ай бұрын

    I walk in a room, everyone starts to question if they're doing the wrong thing, with a look of wanting my approval all over their face. But I do have a uniform, and the uniform is me. Crew black fitted T, septum and industrial piercing, combat boots. ...am I an 8 or a an sx 4?!

  • @andrewwabik5125
    @andrewwabik5125Ай бұрын

    I have 4 and 8 in my tritype. My wife is convinced I’m an 8. I think I’m pretty 4ish. But hopefully this video gives me clarity.

  • @kathrynkurtzdiscussions
    @kathrynkurtzdiscussions2 жыл бұрын

    Hi Drew, I'm really enjoying your channel. I've been struggling for over a year to find my type and feel confused about whether I'm a 4, 3, or 8. All my friends perceive me as artistic and passionate, but they also think I am extremely assertive and "out there" like an 8. I have always been very individualistic, but more in regards to refusing to conform to standards and social norms than anything. I am not the type to need to express art on my body or through my clothes haha. But the emotional part confuses me because I feel very emotional at times and the fact I question my identity so much makes me feel 4ish. I also feel shy and self conscious at times, though when I am healthy I feel extremely confident. I am 21 and I can't tell if I thought at times I was an 8 because I was an angry teen at the time, or if I thought I was a 4 at times because of depression. It's confusing because I feel intense and powerful, yet thoughtful, romantic, and emotional all at once! I was wondering if you had any thoughts reading this.

  • @kathrynkurtzdiscussions

    @kathrynkurtzdiscussions

    2 жыл бұрын

    And I want to add I am very motivated and busy, which i don't know if that is specific to a type (other than 3).

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    So much here Kathryn. I think at 21 you’ve already been processing way more than most of your peers. And, hmmm, I wonder if a 21 year old 8 would even do that. Feels 4ish. But I can’t give you an answer. What I’d say though is just learn the enneagram. All the parts of it. Become an expert without having to define yourself. You’re still growing so much and maturing. If you know the enneagram well then things will find their place in good time and you’ll have already become more well rounded by knowing it. So, take the pressure off and just have some good fun being an expert in the process. Also, get an amazing therapist. I find talking it out in real time with my clients really helps them. This work needs support and wisdom that we don’t have on our own Drew

  • @lisa.66
    @lisa.66 Жыл бұрын

    Reading these comments I see a lot of type 4s that get along great with 8s. Im a 4 and ive only had the worst, most volatile relationships with 8s. Constant arguing and fighting...

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    health level issues are always the deciding factor. If you hang with jacked up broken people, any numbers, you’ll find yourself in misery. Hang with the healthy ones and enjoy

  • @PublishWithEmissary
    @PublishWithEmissary Жыл бұрын

    That’s interesting, I thought I was a social 4w3 but the way you characterized the sexual subtype rings my bell. I (and my 4w5 son) both have ferocious, 8-like tempers whenever someone wrongs us in the slightest way.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    Yeah, follow that track. Did you watch my enneagram 4 videos on the 3 subtypes? Much more in depth

  • @PublishWithEmissary

    @PublishWithEmissary

    Жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk I’ll look for it

  • @PublishWithEmissary

    @PublishWithEmissary

    Жыл бұрын

    If you’ve ever seen the movie “Amadeus,” the character Salieri strikes me as an excellent portrayal of a 1:1 subtype Four (and Mozart is a dysfunctional Seven)

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    @@PublishWithEmissary It would have to be the ugliest version. There seems to be a lot of 3 in him, the ambition at all costs. Maybe a 3w4 or 4w3 🤔

  • @PublishWithEmissary

    @PublishWithEmissary

    Жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk perhaps … but I also saw the 4 Social in how deeply and profoundly he felt the power of music. He was not emotionally simplistic the way Threes tend to be; he was rife with the Four vice of envy. A strong Three wing? Absolutely. That’s my wing too, and it’s robbed me of much good when I haven’t understood it.

  • @larrycheek3588
    @larrycheek35882 жыл бұрын

    Why can't you relate in the world like I can to survive versus why can't you see the world like I do for survival? T.N.T. by AC/DC vs. You Don't Know How it Feels by Tom Petty.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    That’s some real 8 energy vs 4 energy right there! Well played sir Drew

  • @elizabethhenderson5110
    @elizabethhenderson51102 жыл бұрын

    Laughing so hard 🤣🤣🤣. “Take that what you will.”

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 ай бұрын

    I’ll take it as a compliment So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

  • @elizabethhenderson5110
    @elizabethhenderson51102 жыл бұрын

    Yes I love Big dogs if I could have a pony or horse inside I would. Love Great Danes

  • @cheryrobertson2735
    @cheryrobertson273523 күн бұрын

    Don't hurt me, you will pay. ❤

  • @potchakz
    @potchakz Жыл бұрын

    Im an sp 8. Unlike 4s, I really dont think much about my presence. Or even have a slight clue at all. I guess im probably blind to my energy, how I come across people. It is so strange how types think about self vs tenor on a birthday party for example, meanwhile i am hungry and just want to eat. lol

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    I think eights and fours can learn a lot from each other. In this respect, obviously, if I’m making a video on it 😉 You guys can learn how to be a bit more emotional aware, and we can learn to not care as much about what people think. Glad we’re on the journey together.

  • @sheilamcgrane2236
    @sheilamcgrane2236 Жыл бұрын

    You just compared us 8s to the incarnation of evil in Tolkien’s novels 🤣

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    Sorta not sorta 😂 I love you all

  • @elizabethjean2709
    @elizabethjean2709 Жыл бұрын

    45:00 🤦🏾‍♀️🙄 So many PRACTICAL gems

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    My goal accomplished! Thanks for saying so

  • @peachesandpoets
    @peachesandpoets Жыл бұрын

    I'm a sexual 4w5 dating an 8w7 and phew!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    Good luck 😂

  • @peachesandpoets

    @peachesandpoets

    Жыл бұрын

    @@drewnewkirk thank you for the perspective, it helps me appreciate our many, and strong, and beautiful similarities so that when he looks like a 5 I resist the urge to show that sexual 4 anger.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    Жыл бұрын

    @@peachesandpoets great processing my friend. All of this stuff takes continued practice so keep repetitively doing so. It sounds like you’re on the right track! Drew

  • @corqMcc

    @corqMcc

    6 ай бұрын

    I’ve done that. Me 4w5 and him 8. Tough and volatile, and it couldn’t hold together. I hope you are doing well. Phew is right 😆

  • @user-ii7bs6bb7k
    @user-ii7bs6bb7k Жыл бұрын

    Wow 4s sound so much like me a sx7

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    11 ай бұрын

    SP4’s and 7’s look very familiar

  • @larrycheek3588
    @larrycheek35882 жыл бұрын

    Charismatics vs. Dandies. Robert Greene

  • @larrycheek3588

    @larrycheek3588

    2 жыл бұрын

    World Champion Kick Boxer Millionaire Andrew Tate vs Johnny Depp

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@larrycheek3588 Ha!

  • @elizabethhenderson5110
    @elizabethhenderson51102 жыл бұрын

    Drew access your mushiness It can be charming inner child

  • @jguanzon26
    @jguanzon262 жыл бұрын

    Thank you! How about 4 sp/sx and 6 sx/sp relationship? I think my partner, he and I initially mislabeled him as a 8 while I mislabeled myself as a 5. However after really analyzing it all, there is a deep sense of fear that drives his anger so he’s the counterphobic 6 and I had an automatic disgust to the 4 description. after a couple of years I really looked into it. The extreme automatic negative reaction was because I didn’t want to admit I was a 4

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    I like that digging and mining Jonel. Such good work you both did to get to the ugly shadowy stuff. As I’m still trying to get all the numbers done and haven’t posted the 6’s yet you can be assured I’ll address some of the SX6 and SX4 stuff. Be patient with me, I’ve been working nonstop to get all the numbers done and I’m getting pretty close 🙏🏼 I’m just pleased you can interact with this content a bit and it’s helping draw connections. Stay tuned, we’ll go after your partner soon 😂 Drew

  • @jguanzon26

    @jguanzon26

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for all you do!

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@jguanzon26 I’m sitting here on a Sunday morning with a shit ton of notes on the enneagram 7’s in front of me as I prepare to film them this week. And I’m just grateful, even though most anonymous, that I get to be doing this and having folks like you who dig in to it. Feeling pretty grateful Jonel 🙌🏼 Enjoy your day

  • @noturbo
    @noturbo9 ай бұрын

    8;s give me anxiety

  • @larrycheek3588
    @larrycheek35882 жыл бұрын

    Unnecessary multi-layered barbed wire around a marshmellow heart versus unnecessary onion layers of shame around a body image. I am Here by Pink Vs. Closer by N.I.N.

  • @drewnewkirk

    @drewnewkirk

    2 жыл бұрын

    You’re killing it Larry! Love these